S2E2 - Journey to India: Dharamshala - Home of Exiled Tibetans

A monkey bathing in a hotel water tank wasn’t on our itinerary. Neither was showering in the dark with brown water, or turning down a lunch with the exile prime minister. That’s how this journey went: messy, revealing, and strangely transformative. We set off for Dharamshala expecting spiritual clarity and got grit first—dusty streets, sleepless nights, and a town where exile is a daily rhythm rather than a headline.

What kept us there was the reason we came: three full days learning directly with the Dalai Lama. The room was small, the schedule relentless, and the teaching generous. No politics. Just posture, breath, visualization, and the Six Yogas of Naropa—advanced practices designed to train attention and unlock a different relationship to the body. We dig into tummo, the inner fire technique that uses breath and imagery to raise body temperature, and unpack why Western ideas of meditation as purely calm miss half the story. Focus can be heat. Stillness can be effort. Comfort isn’t the goal; clarity is.

Between lessons, the city pressed its truth on us. Public walls carried claims of torture and loss. Refugees made a life in tight quarters under heavy sun. Safety felt relative. We talk about navigating that tension without turning practice into politics, why we declined a political meeting, and how living and working in China shaped our judgment. This isn’t a travel brochure—it’s a field note on impermanence, discipline, and what really changes when you leave home to look for answers.

If you’ve ever wondered what advanced Buddhist practice looks like off the page—or how faith meets the realities of infrastructure, identity, and fear—this one’s for you. Listen, share with a friend who loves hard-won stories, and leave a review with the one question you’d ask the Dalai Lama.

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Please contact me at theunclewong@gmail.com

Transcript

Year-End Thanks And Impermanence

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Yo, what's up everyone? Welcome back, Daisy and Uncle. And I'm your host, Uncle Wong. So looking at the calendar now, it's December 22nd. This should be our last episode of 2025. And so again, I want to thank you all for your love and support. It really wasn't easy starting this podcast or even attempting it. It's just the sheer amount of time spent on it. But I really enjoyed it. And most of all, I really enjoyed having you as an audience, knowing that I'm not talking to myself and that you guys are enjoying these weird, crazy stories that I have to share. You don't see too much action here. Maybe from the police, but that's about it. There's not much you can do to in terms of exploration of different cultures or different settings. You have to leave the country. You have to be away from what you're familiar with to really experience life. And most importantly, the holidays are coming up. So I want to take this time from my family to yours. I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year's. May all your dreams come true next year. And definitely during this holiday season, appreciate the time you spent with your family. And it's one thing I learned from the Daial Lama is that life can bring many changes. The concept of impermanence. And so let's get back on topic. Last episode we talked about the unique culture of India and how many world religions originated from there. But also we brought up the fact that they have this historical burden that may have hindered their economic development. There's so many dialects there, too. It's the infrastructure there, the entire system that India has been building the past couple of years. I'm not saying it's a failure, but it's not enough as if you had to surpass China. And if you've been to China, if you saw the infrastructure, you saw the workforce, you see the entire pipeline of industry there, it's incredible. And they all speak one language. Of course, we also talked about that's probably the last place you want to go for vacation. And it's just a tip. If you're from China or Southeast countries that don't eat particularly clean, right? Meaning if if you're from the US, let's say, and you're eating like organic whole foods, then you will catch E. coli when you if you don't eat right in India. And you will shit your brains out, you would puke your brains out. I've seen it all the time. You really gotta watch what you eat. So I was very lucky. I have the Chinese digestive tract at the time, so I didn't catch anything. And I was, I really was really very careful of what I was eating there. My first time in India was in May. We thought traveling during the summer would be too hot. And of course, it was already hot in May. We flew from Shanghai to Thailand and transferred to New Delhi. And then we stayed for two nights at a nearby hotel next to the airport. And again, it was hot, and the wives decided it would be a good idea to visit the Taj Mahal. And it was a pretty far drive out. I remember it was like five and a half hours to get there. And it was ginormous. It was beautiful. You know, the the architecture was just amazing. But it was a little bit disappointing because the white marble was a little yellowish. I mean, the day was hot and humid. I didn't have a jet lag, but I was just tired from the traveling. And so walking felt like torture. The place was humongous, and you just and you had to just stroll everywhere. You know, it was quite the hike. It took us maybe two, three hours to walk the entire thing. And so the next day, got up early in the morning, went to the airport, couldn't find our flight, because we realized that we were in the those um the local domestic flights and the economy flights. And so we took this airline called SpiceJet. And the name suggests the smell. I have not seen propellers on a commercial plane in quite some time. Okay, maybe if you're going to small places, but definitely, I don't know. I just haven't seen it in a while. Coming from China, things were sort of advanced already. And I felt a little nervous. And thank God it was a short flight. I think it was around like an hour and a half to Kangra Airport. And so Kangra Airport is about a 30-minute drive to our final destination, which is uh Dharmashalla. Dharmashallah is in the state of Himashal Pradesh and also home of the exiled Dalai Lama. So Dharmashalla wasn't just the home of Dalai Lama and his monks, it was also the home of the exile government and more than 10,000 recorded refugees. They were either born in India or they came from Tibet. So that's kind of the demographics of the area. It wasn't a big town, it was actually quite small. And just a quick side note, if you haven't noticed by now, I've updated my artwork for every single episode. Pretty much to try to reflect the topic that we're discussing. I want to kind of give you a visual. That way you can understand what we're talking about a little better. You can also see what the temples look like that I visited. Most of these pictures are taken myself or taken by my one of my friends. So enjoy. I believe in season one, there's a couple of pictures of two pictures of the Sky Barrel. If you're interested, take a look. And there's also an amazing picture. I believe it's episode four of the Laran Buddha Academy. And it's exactly what it looks like in the early morning hours. Absolutely astonishing. And this episode, you can actually see Dharmashalla. I can see my hotel right in the middle, the corner there. And on the far right, you can see parts of the Dalai Lama's residence. We call it the mini Patala Palace. But compared to the real Patala Palace in Lhasa, it's ridiculous. And I believe season one, um, Tibet episode one, you can see the Patala Palace. I took it from across the river with some of the ducks still in the pond. Very beautiful. So, anyways, next day we um like I said, we flew in there. Uh, we had somebody to pick us up. It was a very short drive. And on the way to the hotel, instead of much of India or seeing many Indians, I saw mostly Tibetans. It was just one main road in, and then there were just local shops and stores, there were restaurants along the, you know, along the entire road. It was bustling with life. It's pretty interesting to see that all these refugees, you know, kind of got situated there. And it felt every bit like Tibet, except the extreme heat. I don't remember Tibet ever getting that hot. Um, it was still a bit dirty. And the monkeys, I don't know where they came from, but they're everywhere. Don't feed them, they'll fuck you up, they'll steal your shit. I those monkeys are crazy. And I have a couple of stories I'm gonna tell you, so hang on. So I was already warned that the hotel or hostel that I was staying at was the best in town, but it's still kind of shabby. It looked alright from the pictures. And I was with a bunch of spoiled middle-aged Chinese men, even myself. I've never stayed in a place like this in quite some time. And even though we've been in Tibet countless times before this, we weren't really ready for what was to come. The hotel did not look anything like the picture. It was broken down, three stories, of course, no elevators. And we had the top one. And my wife, upon entering the room, she just freaked out. Her OCD just went loose on her, and she couldn't stand how dirty the place was. To be honest, I didn't see it being dirty directly. You know, things were well organized, but she said, no, you don't see the dirt on top. And so what was funny is she brought three full packs of wet, um, you know, the wet napkins, and she was ready to wipe down our room. It smelled a little bit moldy too. And um, when she was wiping down just any table that was there, it the wet napkin turned completely black. And we were also told before we went upstairs to never drink the tap water or even rinse our mouths with the tap water when you're brushing your teeth. So that's where you catch E. coli. And they also warned us that we should only eat at the hotel or at um local hotels. Try not to eat along the streets because it's still rather dirty. I didn't know what they mean by dirty because I didn't think it was that bad when we visited, um, until you visit the other parts of India. Okay. So the room was nasty. My wife used up all three packs of the wet wipes, all black, and it felt like the room was just reorganized and never cleaned before. I didn't know what the hell was inside those sheets, so we slept with all our clothes on, even our jacket, and it was kind of uncomfortable. I think for the first two nights, I didn't even sleep in the I didn't even sleep in the sheets. I was kind of scared until I finally kind of got used to it because the shower was nasty too. But yeah, that wasn't a very good experience. Very different from New Delhi. The next day we woke up bright and early, nobody got good sleep. Um, but we weren't supposed to meet the Dalai Lama until the next day. So we thought it'd be a good idea to walk around town. And of course, the town was small, there wasn't much to see. The terrain was just up and down, and you have to climb up half the mountain to get to the hotel and down, just like you see in the picture. And um we reached Dalai Lama's residence not too long after. Of course, we weren't there to meet him yet, but there was still a temple inside. Like I said before, it's called the small Patala Palace. Um compared to what it was before, it's it's it's very shocking. It's um it's much smaller, but it looks kind of like um it looks kind of like a big home. Uh like a like a big mansion, not something like the Patala Palace, or it looks like a castle, but and it took us a bit to walk around too. It was not much to see, and it was very hot out, so we trying to stay in the shade as much as we can. What was interesting is as we exited out the back of the mini Patala Palace, so back of the residence, I saw a huge news bulletin in the middle of the streets that caught my attention. And it was filled with propaganda about uh evil communist China, uh, how the Tibetans were tortured, burned. And along that street it was like a railing, and along the railing were just hundreds of pictures of missing people that were supposedly captured by the communist government. I don't know about any truth to that, but it's very shocking to see. It's uneasy for me also. It's not because of the propaganda, what I saw inside the pictures, but um how the once peaceful debates ended up the way they did. But the passing people nearby didn't didn't seem to be bothered by it. It kind of seemed more like political propaganda than than it is a um than it is a uh like a social disaster. And I heard how life can get hard for the exile Tibetans there, of course. That I understand. No refugee in any country has has it easy. But having traveled so much into Tibet, I really can't imagine their lives being any easier there. Like you have to understand, being in China and working there, I'm constantly surrounded by political propaganda. Okay, there was um about how the Tibetan government wanted to how they wanted to reclaim their sovereignty and degrading the Chinese government or the Chinese people for the invasion and for devastating their culture. Yeah, I'm not taking any sides, but I don't think the exile government would have done any better job to lift their citizen out of the poverty that once was. Okay, so Tibet was not a happy land before this. Okay, there was extreme poverty, extreme corruption there as well. And one famous high monk um told me in person, he said, quote, if it weren't for the Chinese, us Tibetans wouldn't be able to make matches. Those are very powerful words, right? Because yes, the invasion was wrong, but besides that, their lives have gotten a little bit better. Um because if you research what Tibet was like before that, um it was not it was not much better, seriously. And I also feel this way because uh I came too close to the exile government, more like too close for comfort. So the night before we were to meet at Dai Lama, so that night after we went back to our hotel, a close friend of mine, he was also on the trip. And he's more of a he has a lot of money. He has more influence, and he's a lot older than me. He kind of uh he came out to me and said that the prime minister of the exile government invited us to lunch the next day. He could tell my face just changed after he said that because I'm here to visit to see the Dai Lama. Okay, I'm not here to cause trouble. I'm not here for any um anything political. And nothing good could come out of that lunch. Okay, what possibly could he offer us? And what possibly what possible good could this conversation bring about? Only trouble. And I told him, like, bro, we still have to return to China. Our businesses are in China, our families are in China. That's not fuck around. Okay, we have no place getting stuck in this. And it's because I I clearly saw from the start that although the outsiders think religion and politics are the same in Tibet, it's actually very different. I mean the Tibetan exile government would have already lost everything if it wasn't for the Dalai Lama. They're on they are on a complete different agenda for the concept of free Tibet. Who are they really freeing? And what's interesting is the Dalai Lama is very old now. And once he passes, what's gonna happen to the refugees there? That's another topic to consider. And so, of course, um we declined the offer. But in the later days, uh, we did shake hands with the prime minister and some of his cabinet members, his staff. Um, I didn't say much and just walked away. I didn't even bother taking a picture. I don't want to be seen with them. Again, it's not like I have anything against them, it's just being in China for so long, I learned from my ex-bosses that if you're doing business there, don't mix politics with money. That never ends well. And so I knew why I was there and I knew why what I should not be doing. Okay. So, anyways, back to the experience. So that night actually left me with the worst impression. You gotta check this out. This is just absolutely traumatizing. So after dark, the lights and the water suddenly went out. Okay, but it wasn't all. The light was all out, but the water went out where there's not enough pressure. So the faucet was still leaking when you turned it on, but it wasn't enough to drench yourself. And to make things worse, when it was going out, I was showering. I already had shampoo in my hair, it was smeared, I panicked. I started cursing, and uh I was already pissed off. And because earlier when I turned on the water, it was already brownish and yellowish, and I had to wash with that water already, and now I'm butt naked, I got shampoo on my hair, it's getting my eye, there's no water, and I can't see shit. Like there were some drops of water coming down from the faucet, it was burning hot too. So my wife grabbed her phone, she she just flashed her um her phone light so I could see, and I could hear her just giggling in the back. And then I put a towel, uh, like a like a washcloth over my head, and then squeezed out whatever droplets of hot water kind of landed on there over time. I think the process, shit, I think took me like at least an hour. And afterwards, we slept in the dark. And that wasn't the worst of it. So in the morning, the lights had not come back on yet, but we didn't need the lights anymore. Um, but something else even more disturbing happened. Okay, so as you can see from the picture, we're on top of a hill, right? So I can see all the structures below me, even hotels. And I could see on the rooftop of the hotel in front of us where one of my friends was staying. Okay, there's a huge water tank, like a water reserve tank on top of the uh roof. Yeah, I'm guessing it used to collect water for the hotel. And what I did not expect to see was a monkey bathing in there. I swear to God, like the monkey was scratching his armpit, probably shitting and pissing in there. And now I know why it's that color. And I would not be surprised if there was a monkey on top of my roof doing the same. It was absolutely hideous. I I didn't take a shower after that. I had waited until four or five days later to shower in um back in New Delhi. This was uh, of course, I didn't shower much in Tibet, but here's just if you didn't shower for a day or two, you would notice. But I didn't know what to do. I could not, after seeing that, there's no way I was gonna shower again. I left the hotel upset and I was ready to go home. But I still had to meet the dairy lama, of course. So we went back to the mini patala complex to meet the dai Lama early that morning. And for those that don't know, when you meet the Dai Lama, you're almost always there to learn something. Okay, either he would pass his wisdom to you, teach you how to meditate. You never leave empty-handed. And but this time was special. It was only a handful of people were there. So the Dai Lama was supposed to pass on um the six teachings of Naropa, which is considered to be the highest level of meditation techniques in Buddhism. It's not like we were ready, but he passed it to us anyways. And so this wasn't the first time I met um his holiness. I met him once before in Osaka, Japan, for the first time actually. And I remember he was giving a speech at a at a at um at a local college, I believe. And so when he entered the auditorium, there was nothing but compassionate energy. And his smile just lit up the room. And surprisingly, he's never talked about politics in all the time I've met him or heard his speeches. Anyways, he treated us all very well because he knew how hard it was for most of us to get here. Especially when we're coming from China. So as I made my way to the room where Dalai Lama was waiting, uh I noticed a lot of small details around the area and compared it to the real Patala Palace. And so I I don't know if it was just me, but I'd be pissed if I was exiled there. And for some reason I was constantly distracted and anxious while I was there, just as if someone was spying on me. I I didn't really feel safe while I was there. And but for the next three days, just a handful of us, we just sat in a small room with his holiness. And for over, I would say, 10 hours a day, uh, he spoke Tibetan, but we all had interpreters, professional interpreters. We only took a break for lunch, and the other times he just passed on teachings. It was incredible. Uh he sat there cross-legged the way you sit for meditation and for hours on time. My leg turned numb real quick. You know, I was already fidgeting around, I had trouble controlling my DHD. And afterwards, we went to the back office. I took pictures with his holiness, I shook his hands, got some autographs. And it's always nice to see him. And to learn from him, regardless of how much I can actually retain. And he invited us back. Not to Dharma Shala, but he invited us back to Buddha the next year for a pilgrimage and a very special religious ceremony. He said he's getting older, he doesn't know how many times he can still do this. And he told us that there would be over a hundred thousand followers there for 10 days. They stay in the poorest state in India, Bihar. And so after Drilanda lecture, the Dalam asked one of his uh high monks to teach us the yoga that was just passed on to us. The physical techniques. That was a pretty cool experience. And um and while he was doing it, I was just thinking in the back of my head how yoga became so popular here in America. And but there wasn't much stretching involved, surprisingly, compared to American yoga. It was more focused on positioning, on breathing, and how to sit for hours without uh losing your mind or your leg. But most importantly, how to breathe, the type of breathing techniques that can either speed up your brain waves or slow it down. And so, like I said before, it taught us the six yogas of um Naropa. You know, again, it's not stretching techniques, more of mind control. It taught us how to control your body through mental visualization. And like I said before, Americans and Europeans all often think that meditation should be only peaceful, only common. But I soon learned that it could be the other way around, like I explained before. And so one of the techniques worth mentioning in all six of these is called the tomo. In English, it's called the inner fire. You can actually see people practice this on YouTube. This wasn't the first time I heard of tomo because uh my mentor, like I mentioned before, the live Buddha, he was actually very good at this technique. And he told me before that when he was a teen, maybe 13, 14 years old, his uncle took him to the mountains to practice tomo. And so they had to sit out in the bitter cold in Tibet. Tibet gets very cold with only underpants. And they put um some carpeting on the ice or on the dirt, and then they sit there almost completely naked for hours. But live Buddha he turned this kind of horror story boot camp training into something very funny. You know, when he told me the story, he said this practice in order to master it normally takes around 15 to 30 days. Okay, so you're out there on the ice for eight to ten hours a day in deep meditation. There were many people, and there was a teacher that taught you how to mentally visualize. That's the most important part, not just the breathing. And however, the teacher who was teaching visualization, the most important aspect of Tomo, he can only speak Tibetan. And so at that time, there were around 80 monks or so practicing together. And in the end, uh Lai Buddha told me only half of them finished because the other half could not understand Tibetan. And he was Lai Buddha, he was just laughingly telling me the story because he just watched some of them tremble, shiver, and then just completely break down and run away in their underwear. And he told me it was quite the scene. And so through the combination of breathing and visualization, these monks can raise their body temperature much higher than the worst fever. You know, it all goes to show how strong our mind can be. It was amazing hearing these stories. And it was even more amazing watching them practice it. And they did indeed raise their body temperature up, I believe, to around 110 to 120 degrees Fahrenheit. And I don't know, perhaps one day if I'm, you know, if my midlife crisis hits hard enough, I might try that myself and podcast it, right? What do you think? But anyways, we're pretty stressed on this episode. Uh we'll go into the signs of meditation, uh, maybe in the later seasons, but I just found it very fascinating to talk about just this practice of tomo. So we didn't do much sightseeing this trip as Dharma Shallah was just so far north and far away from every city. We didn't want to leave the sanctuary either, um, the refugee camp, because uh, I don't know, it just didn't feel safe. I really frowned on ever coming back, to be honest. And when the Dalai Lama said for us to come back to Pudgaya the following year, I was mentally shaking my head. But somehow uh I did it anyways. I came back and I visited not only Putgaia, I went to several places that trip. Very memorable. I even visit I even visited the slums of India. Um, we'll go into that in our next episode. This episode has dragged on pretty long. And again, thank you for tuning in. Thank you for all your support. I'll see you in 2026. Uncle Wong signing off.