S3 Special - The Weight of Listening (Birthday Redo)

What does it cost to carry other people’s words when the world is on fire outside your window? We open with protests at a top private school, a son who chooses boba over marching, and a neighbor’s banner that turns the block into a debate. From there, we pull back the curtain on the quiet, relentless pressure of interpreting in high-stakes settings—calls with ICE, late-night hospice lines, and conversations where every syllable matters but your own opinion must disappear.

I share two moments that cracked the armor. First, a 2 a.m. hospice call where I interpreted a man’s last breath and the stunned love of a family navigating the next steps. Then, a different kind of breaking: recognizing a voice tied to real harm and choosing restraint when anger begged for judgment. These stories aren’t about policy talking points; they’re about the residue that precision leaves behind, and how neutrality can feel like both a discipline and a wound. Along the way, we explore why interpreters are asked to be ghosts—present without control, vital without visibility—and how language, handled with care, can lower tension, return dignity, and make hard systems less punishing moment by moment.

If you’ve ever wondered what it means to be a bridge in a storm, this is your map: the ethics of accuracy, the psychology of burnout, and the humanity that slips past headlines. You’ll hear why some outcomes affirm the cost, how memory holds what you cannot repeat, and why hearing one’s own language can steady a room. Stay to the end for a question I can’t answer for you: would you take this job? If this resonated, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review—your words help others find ours.

Please contact me at theunclewong@gmail.com

Transcript

Protests, Privilege, And Perspective

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Most people tend to think trauma comes from one event. But like many, including this job, it's an accumulation of events. I obviously don't like telling people what I do, because the first thing that comes to mind is political preference. Welcome back to Asian Uncle. This is the final episode of Listening Under Ice. As I'm recording this, there are national protests around the country. My kids' school had a protest today. And when I asked my son, did you go? He said, Nah, I went to get Boba T. And I asked him why. I wanted to hear from his point of view why he didn't go to a student-organized protest. And he goes to a top private school, by the way. Okay? That's very important. Very expensive. He said it's ridiculous. He says this school has society's most privileged kids. They only pretend to understand and care. I was shocked. I was like, wow, you are very conservative. But it was a it was an interesting conversation. And to top things off, on my way back, after getting groceries, I saw an abolished ice banner hung out of my neighbor's window. I shit you not. And truth be told, I'm actually starting to enjoy this. Watching this from the sideline. See how the story unfolds. Because that's where podcast episodes are formed. Because that's where podcast episodes are formed. Wouldn't you agree? I told you from the beginning, this job comes with a cost. But I never thought it would be like this. And to be honest, I'm not sure how long I want to even do this for. So if a sideline guy like myself is getting burnt out, how do you think ICE officers feel?

The Hidden Cost Of The Job

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Underpaid, overworked, dangerous, and are hated by the masses. Great job, eh? But the cost is simple. These protests will eventually end. This topic will diminish into history one day, and this will be old news. No one will care anymore.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

But there is a true cost that stays. For me, I can't repeat anything I heard.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

So not only do those words stay with me, the emotions stay too. And that lasts a lot longer than any protests or news headline. A mentor of mine, she's like my older sister. She works for DEA and FBI, the high-intensity world. She goes on these crazy prostitution and drugs things. And she told me something I'll never forget when I first started this job.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

She says you store it. You try to forget it. And if you can't, you take it with you to the grave. There are singular moments early on where you go, Oh, I don't get paid enough for this.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

Or just plain speechless.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

And your head is like, what the fuck is going on? What weighs you down are those emotions plus time.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

You hear too much, you know too much, you soak up words, information, and way too much

Storing Trauma You Cannot Share

SPEAKER_00 4:15

emotion. And when you finally think you heard it all, something almost always happens that resets the bar. Especially on the front lines. You hear about sexual abuse, kidnapping, drugs, organized crime, murder suspects. Not as entertainment, not even as a story, but as real human material someone is dumping into my ear. And emotionally, I broke down twice. One had nothing to do with ice or border patrol. It wasn't even that exciting. It was actually a call from the hospice. I remember it was maybe one or two in the morning. And someone was dying. The family was there on site. So was the doctor trying to explain. And I was on the other line. And in that assignment, in that short conversation, I heard the man's last breath.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

Followed by the family weeping. I interpreted condolences and next steps. And when I got off a call, I broke down.

SPEAKER_00 5:51

In my man cave alone. Just started crying. No shame in that. I remember something from the Marines, my senior drill instructor. Remember it to this day, Staff Sergeant Skowski.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

He said crying does not make you less of a man. So that stayed with me as well.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

The second breakdown that I had was

Hearing A Stranger’s Last Breath

SPEAKER_00 6:20

under completely different circumstances. There was no sob story, there's no sadness about it, to be honest. But for me, it was more of an anger plus frustration that I couldn't even speak of even after I got off the call. Because the cute because of the pure coincidence of events that led up to this. Not the officer, but the subject. No. I've dealt with this man before. I knew who he was, and he knew me. But at the time, my ident but at the time my identity was protected. But I couldn't make out who he was until the very end. And why was I so upset? Because this man had already been convicted of some serious crimes, causing some real harm to society. Murders and murderers and rapists to him are like child's play. I shit you not. Just imagine. A low life scum, pure selfish, pure evil. And at the time had money to burn. Better yet, imagine someone you detest. Just to mimic that feeling I had at the time. I'm not telling you to hate anybody, but someone who seriously harmed not only you,

Rage, Recognition, And Restraint

SPEAKER_00 8:30

but perhaps others around you, yet you could do nothing about it. That's how I felt. And that's how I felt about this person on the other line. And like I said, I didn't realize it was him until the very end. And while I cannot disclose anymore, in that moment, every part of me was confused and wanted to explode. I wasn't sure whether to just crawl into a hole and cry or to curse him out. To finally tell him, F you you got yours. I wanted to. I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't. And I'm sure you understand. But I couldn't. Because again, it's not my job to judge. I only carry the words. That was the last time the weight of the job broke me. But regardless of how I felt that time, deep inside I knew for a fact that deporting this man was the right thing to do. And to witness it even over the phone made me feel like the sacrifices I'd made were worth it. This experience was too up close and personal for me.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

And I speak with all truth behind each word.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

And I recorded these segments over and over again, thinking, what am I trying to show you? And I guess the point of telling you all this is to broaden your perspective. To give you my take, my experience. And so that you can think better for yourself. So that you're not radicalized by anyone. Because the truth is, when the anger faded, I felt confused as ever. I felt that some things are probably better off left untouched. Why pick up that call if I couldn't do nothing about it? Why work this stupid job when I don't even need the money?

SPEAKER_01 11:04

And I started to question why I'm doing this in the first place.

SPEAKER_00 11:08

To even be afraid to share

Why Accuracy Demands Invisibility

SPEAKER_00 11:10

this job association on my own podcast. And that's the thing people don't understand about interpreters in this world. You're present without control, you're evolved without ownership, and you carry the most human part. The beauty of language. And yet you don't have the right to act on how you feel. No matter where you are, accuracy is the only thing you're allowed to offer. Invisibility, or becoming a ghost is the final measure of your job well done. No other compliments. I know this ministry comes off as a bit uncomfortable, as it should. Some may not even agree with my choice, what I do, or even my experience. But that's okay. That's a risk I'm willing to take despite many telling me not to. Because I believe no matter where anyone stands politically, the moments that I've described are at their core human moments. The fear, the uncertainty, exhaustion. These don't belong to one side or another. They belong to people. And in those moments, language becomes more than words. It becomes the only way someone can explain themselves, ask for help, or

Language As Dignity And Calm

SPEAKER_00 13:00

simply feel safe. I come to understand that my role isn't just accuracy or compliance, even those even though those things are important.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

My presence can make a difference in quieter ways. When someone hears their own language in a difficult moment, it lowers the tension.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

It brings clarity. Sometimes it even brings a small sense of dignity back into a situation that feels overwhelming. It can't change the outcome. That isn't my place. But I can choose how I carry those words. And if I bring a little patience, a little calm, or a little compassion to a space where those things are scarce, then the work means something to me beyond the job itself. Because at the end of the day, before politics, before system, before arguments, there are still people on both sides of the conversation. And in those moments, being the voice that helps them understand each other is probably the most meaningful part of what I do. So I leave you with this question. I know many of you are bilingual. And if you are, and even if you aren't, would you take this job? Would you want a job listening in, like a podcast, absorbing these emotions? So no, this miniseries wasn't about policy.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

It was about the cost of listening and about a job no one really sees or cares about.

Would You Take This Job

SPEAKER_01 15:02

And now that you've heard it, I'm going to do what interpreters do best.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Disappear. If you got any questions, please feel free to email me at theunclewong at gmail.com. I know this has been a fairly gloom topic. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you learned something from it. Join me next week as we start season three. Take care, my friend, and enjoy yourself wherever you are.