{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.91,"body":"Living in this social"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.91,"body":"media world, when we're looking"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2.91,"endTime":6.24,"body":"at things online, they're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2.91,"endTime":6.24,"body":"telling us Oh, you know, block"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":6.24,"endTime":9.21,"body":"out everything that doesn't give"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":6.24,"endTime":9.21,"body":"you joy, get rid of everything"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":9.21,"endTime":14.19,"body":"that doesn't bring you peace,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":9.21,"endTime":14.19,"body":"let's be real. Life is about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":14.91,"endTime":18.45,"body":"happiness and sadness. You can't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":14.91,"endTime":18.45,"body":"have one without the other. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":18.45,"endTime":21.75,"body":"we can't just take everything"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":18.45,"endTime":21.75,"body":"out, that doesn't give us joy."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":22.02,"endTime":25.14,"body":"There's going to be things that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":22.02,"endTime":25.14,"body":"just triggers that don't give us"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":25.14,"endTime":27.21,"body":"joy, so we'll have to learn how"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":25.14,"endTime":27.21,"body":"to deal with them."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":31.35,"endTime":35.52,"body":"Welcome back, welcome back"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":31.35,"endTime":35.52,"body":"to another episode of till the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":35.52,"endTime":39.18,"body":"wheels fall off. I am Matt. I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":35.52,"endTime":39.18,"body":"Paige. And today we're talking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":39.18,"endTime":42.12,"body":"triggers. And I guess we can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":39.18,"endTime":42.12,"body":"start this episode with a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":42.12,"endTime":44.43,"body":"trigger warning. This may be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":42.12,"endTime":44.43,"body":"triggering."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":47.97,"endTime":51.63,"body":"It shouldn't be though, because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":47.97,"endTime":51.63,"body":"what we're here to do is to talk"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":51.84,"endTime":56.19,"body":"and learn about ways to cope"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":51.84,"endTime":56.19,"body":"with triggers, something that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":56.22,"endTime":60.93,"body":"our audience has told us that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":56.22,"endTime":60.93,"body":"they want to hear more about,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":60.96,"endTime":63.81,"body":"yeah, how we've dealt with this."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":60.96,"endTime":63.81,"body":"And we've got a ton of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":63.81,"endTime":68.55,"body":"experience with triggers live"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":63.81,"endTime":68.55,"body":"store. So we'll start off by"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":68.55,"endTime":70.77,"body":"saying, and this is why it's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":68.55,"endTime":70.77,"body":"trigger warning. It's an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":70.77,"endTime":73.41,"body":"unpopular belief when it comes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":70.77,"endTime":73.41,"body":"to triggers. But it's one that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":73.41,"endTime":76.95,"body":"we firmly believe in is that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":73.41,"endTime":76.95,"body":"it's not the world's job, to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":76.95,"endTime":80.91,"body":"make sure that I am comfortable."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":76.95,"endTime":80.91,"body":"It's not the world job to make"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":80.91,"endTime":84.63,"body":"sure that I get what I need, or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":80.91,"endTime":84.63,"body":"I hear what I need to hear or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":84.63,"endTime":87.66,"body":"see what I need to see. The"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":84.63,"endTime":87.66,"body":"world's just going to do the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":87.66,"endTime":92.4,"body":"world. And I need to do me,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":87.66,"endTime":92.4,"body":"boom, it is easier said than"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":92.4,"endTime":95.46,"body":"done. And especially today, with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":92.4,"endTime":95.46,"body":"social media, every time you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":95.46,"endTime":98.91,"body":"turn around, there's going to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":95.46,"endTime":98.91,"body":"something that upset you. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":99.18,"endTime":103.47,"body":"what is a trigger? What is a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":99.18,"endTime":103.47,"body":"trigger page? You're going to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":103.47,"endTime":106.65,"body":"better at this than me? What is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":103.47,"endTime":106.65,"body":"a trigger? Well, it's like a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":106.65,"endTime":110.46,"body":"situation that makes you feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":106.65,"endTime":110.46,"body":"overwhelmed. Or it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":112.05,"endTime":115.68,"body":"I have I've always said"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":112.05,"endTime":115.68,"body":"it as this feeling of in the pit"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":115.68,"endTime":118.44,"body":"of your stomach. It's like it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":115.68,"endTime":118.44,"body":"burns and you can feel it. It"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":118.44,"endTime":122.04,"body":"literally makes you want to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":118.44,"endTime":122.04,"body":"scream, it can make you angry,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":122.04,"endTime":124.56,"body":"it can make you panic, it can"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":122.04,"endTime":124.56,"body":"make you fearful."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":125.61,"endTime":128.79,"body":"It keeps you from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":125.61,"endTime":128.79,"body":"remaining present. I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":128.79,"endTime":132.45,"body":"that's the biggest piece of it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":128.79,"endTime":132.45,"body":"I was so I've done a we've been"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":132.48,"endTime":135.48,"body":"talking about this for weeks"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":132.48,"endTime":135.48,"body":"now. Yeah. About what are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":135.48,"endTime":139.41,"body":"triggers. What are our triggers?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":135.48,"endTime":139.41,"body":"Have we lived through these and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":139.41,"endTime":142.77,"body":"work through them. And I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":139.41,"endTime":142.77,"body":"reading through an article in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":142.77,"endTime":145.74,"body":"Psychology Today. And they talk"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":142.77,"endTime":145.74,"body":"about triggers. And essentially,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":145.74,"endTime":149.13,"body":"you know, when you are triggered"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":145.74,"endTime":149.13,"body":"when your reaction is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":149.16,"endTime":153.93,"body":"disproportionate to the present"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":149.16,"endTime":153.93,"body":"event, or not reasonably related"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":153.93,"endTime":157.95,"body":"to the actual present facts."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":153.93,"endTime":157.95,"body":"It's another way of saying"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":157.98,"endTime":161.7,"body":"You're overreacting. But I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":157.98,"endTime":161.7,"body":"really like that word. Because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":161.7,"endTime":164.97,"body":"for the person who's triggered"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":161.7,"endTime":164.97,"body":"to say that you're overreacting"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":165.0,"endTime":166.02,"body":"is doing no good."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":167.04,"endTime":170.4,"body":"What is a trigger? Really,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":167.04,"endTime":170.4,"body":"though, and we talked about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":170.4,"endTime":176.1,"body":"this, a trigger is a wound an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":170.4,"endTime":176.1,"body":"open wound, it's not a scar yet,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":176.13,"endTime":179.73,"body":"because it hasn't been dealt"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":176.13,"endTime":179.73,"body":"with. Right? It is like in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":179.73,"endTime":182.13,"body":"thing about triggers two is that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":179.73,"endTime":182.13,"body":"they're hidden. They're hidden"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":182.16,"endTime":185.04,"body":"in our minds. And we don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":182.16,"endTime":185.04,"body":"really know they even exist,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":185.43,"endTime":189.24,"body":"until we are triggered. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":185.43,"endTime":189.24,"body":"they can be so subversive and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":189.24,"endTime":193.32,"body":"hidden and insidious. And they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":189.24,"endTime":193.32,"body":"just pop up on you at the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":193.32,"endTime":196.65,"body":"strangest times. And there's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":193.32,"endTime":196.65,"body":"triggers come from all different"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":196.83,"endTime":201.24,"body":"places, right. Some of them are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":196.83,"endTime":201.24,"body":"internal, and they are learned"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":201.27,"endTime":205.71,"body":"through childhood. Things that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":201.27,"endTime":205.71,"body":"happened in your home, sometimes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":205.71,"endTime":209.34,"body":"they come from traumatic events,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":205.71,"endTime":209.34,"body":"if you've been through a death,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":209.61,"endTime":213.51,"body":"a sexual assault, something"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":209.61,"endTime":213.51,"body":"along those lines leave deep"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":213.6,"endTime":218.58,"body":"emotional wounds. And then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":213.6,"endTime":218.58,"body":"there's some others that I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":218.58,"endTime":221.94,"body":"when people think trigger these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":218.58,"endTime":221.94,"body":"days, especially, you see more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":221.94,"endTime":225.18,"body":"of this on like social media,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":221.94,"endTime":225.18,"body":"where people are being triggered"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":225.18,"endTime":228.78,"body":"by other people's opinions. Yes."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":225.18,"endTime":228.78,"body":"So there's there's different"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":228.78,"endTime":232.32,"body":"types of triggers. And we'll get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":228.78,"endTime":232.32,"body":"into probably the the latter of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":232.32,"endTime":236.07,"body":"those moreso than the other two,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":232.32,"endTime":236.07,"body":"I know when it comes to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":236.52,"endTime":238.65,"body":"emotional deep scars and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":236.52,"endTime":238.65,"body":"whatnot."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":239.67,"endTime":243.09,"body":"I don't claim to be an expert on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":239.67,"endTime":243.09,"body":"dealing with really, really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":243.09,"endTime":247.53,"body":"tough trauma like that. And this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":243.09,"endTime":247.53,"body":"podcast is never been a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":247.53,"endTime":250.38,"body":"replacement for therapy. I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":247.53,"endTime":250.38,"body":"it's great when used in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":250.38,"endTime":253.17,"body":"conjunction with therapy, right"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":250.38,"endTime":253.17,"body":"in between sessions and whatnot."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":253.17,"endTime":255.24,"body":"But those are things that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":253.17,"endTime":255.24,"body":"really, really need to address"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":255.24,"endTime":260.34,"body":"with a professional. But so what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":255.24,"endTime":260.34,"body":"are some examples of triggers?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":260.37,"endTime":262.26,"body":"Okay, so I was gonna say"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":260.37,"endTime":262.26,"body":"that we're really going to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":262.26,"endTime":264.69,"body":"discuss basically our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":262.26,"endTime":264.69,"body":"experiences and things that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":264.69,"endTime":267.36,"body":"we've been through and that's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":264.69,"endTime":267.36,"body":"why we feel like it's an"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":267.36,"endTime":272.49,"body":"important topic to discuss. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":267.36,"endTime":272.49,"body":"we want to help people learn how"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":272.49,"endTime":276.93,"body":"to cope and how we coped with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":272.49,"endTime":276.93,"body":"it. But examples of triggers"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":276.93,"endTime":283.14,"body":"there are so many examples in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":276.93,"endTime":283.14,"body":"alcohol. Like for alcoholics, if"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":283.14,"endTime":289.29,"body":"you're going to bars holidays,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":283.14,"endTime":289.29,"body":"gas stations, sometimes coming"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":289.29,"endTime":291.69,"body":"home from work because that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":289.29,"endTime":291.69,"body":"would be a habit that you would"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":291.69,"endTime":294.6,"body":"come home from work and what do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":291.69,"endTime":294.6,"body":"you do you have a drink, right?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":294.66,"endTime":294.84,"body":"Oh,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":294.84,"endTime":297.42,"body":"I know guys that when you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":294.84,"endTime":297.42,"body":"say coming home from work, my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":297.42,"endTime":299.88,"body":"thought was there's some people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":297.42,"endTime":299.88,"body":"that have to drive by the same"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":299.88,"endTime":301.92,"body":"light Christopher they used to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":299.88,"endTime":301.92,"body":"visit when they were drinking."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":302.19,"endTime":304.35,"body":"And then they have had to change"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":302.19,"endTime":304.35,"body":"their route home."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":304.38,"endTime":306.81,"body":"Right. Yeah. Because it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":304.38,"endTime":306.81,"body":"was a trigger triggering. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":306.84,"endTime":308.31,"body":"Because it was a habit that they"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":306.84,"endTime":308.31,"body":"would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":308.64,"endTime":312.54,"body":"stop there. Yeah. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":308.64,"endTime":312.54,"body":"can speak to this. And I won't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":312.54,"endTime":314.64,"body":"spend too much time here on it,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":312.54,"endTime":314.64,"body":"because we'll get to more later."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":314.64,"endTime":318.0,"body":"But when it comes to triggers"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":314.64,"endTime":318.0,"body":"and addiction, that's a question"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":318.0,"endTime":321.0,"body":"that I get asked more than"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":318.0,"endTime":321.0,"body":"almost any other. What are your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":321.0,"endTime":324.72,"body":"triggers? Especially early on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":321.0,"endTime":324.72,"body":"when you're first getting sober?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":324.72,"endTime":327.48,"body":"Like, what are your triggers?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":324.72,"endTime":327.48,"body":"Like? Everything? Everything was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":327.48,"endTime":330.3,"body":"a trigger to me. Oh, yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":327.48,"endTime":330.3,"body":"Breathing when waking up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":330.6,"endTime":335.28,"body":"sleeping, not being able to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":330.6,"endTime":335.28,"body":"sleep. Stress, you name it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":335.31,"endTime":337.92,"body":"Yeah, everything was literally a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":335.31,"endTime":337.92,"body":"trigger when it came to that."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":337.95,"endTime":340.71,"body":"Yeah, it was part of your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":337.95,"endTime":340.71,"body":"habit. You had this everyday"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":341.04,"endTime":344.22,"body":"routine of doing these things."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":341.04,"endTime":344.22,"body":"So anytime you do anything. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":344.22,"endTime":348.24,"body":"like, oh, I used to do this high"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":344.22,"endTime":348.24,"body":"or drunk. Yeah. So those are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":348.24,"endTime":348.69,"body":"triggers."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":348.72,"endTime":352.17,"body":"Yeah. So they are triggers"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":348.72,"endTime":352.17,"body":"that lead to addictive and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":352.17,"endTime":355.8,"body":"destructive behavior. They're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":352.17,"endTime":355.8,"body":"also triggers like politics for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":355.8,"endTime":360.0,"body":"some people. Seeing the news"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":355.8,"endTime":360.0,"body":"seeing someone's opinion on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":360.0,"endTime":364.02,"body":"social media, hearing a friend's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":360.0,"endTime":364.02,"body":"opinion, hearing someone you can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":364.02,"endTime":368.37,"body":"overhear someone talking at your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":364.02,"endTime":368.37,"body":"kids soccer game, and it will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":368.4,"endTime":371.64,"body":"enrage you. Yeah, absolutely"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":368.4,"endTime":371.64,"body":"enraged you you're you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":371.64,"endTime":375.06,"body":"triggered by someone else's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":371.64,"endTime":375.06,"body":"opinion. Yep. What do you see in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":375.06,"endTime":379.11,"body":"social media? Usually? Other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":375.06,"endTime":379.11,"body":"people's opinions. You also see"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":379.17,"endTime":383.1,"body":"highlight reels. Yeah. Is there"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":379.17,"endTime":383.1,"body":"anything more triggering than"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":383.1,"endTime":387.03,"body":"someone you know? That, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":383.1,"endTime":387.03,"body":"know, they don't live the life"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":387.03,"endTime":390.72,"body":"that they portray, right? But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":387.03,"endTime":390.72,"body":"they want people to think that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":390.72,"endTime":393.69,"body":"they they're living this life?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":390.72,"endTime":393.69,"body":"Yes. That's a big trigger. It"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":393.69,"endTime":396.99,"body":"might be triggering the fakeness"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":393.69,"endTime":396.99,"body":"that exists in social media with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":396.99,"endTime":400.02,"body":"some people Yeah, yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":396.99,"endTime":400.02,"body":"that's a huge trigger. What are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":400.02,"endTime":400.77,"body":"some others?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":401.34,"endTime":404.91,"body":"Let's say your kind of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":401.34,"endTime":404.91,"body":"goes back to the addiction part."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":404.91,"endTime":408.6,"body":"So food if you're trying to lose"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":404.91,"endTime":408.6,"body":"weight, I my trigger when I was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":408.6,"endTime":411.42,"body":"trying to lose weight back in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":408.6,"endTime":411.42,"body":"the day was soft cheese tacos"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":411.42,"endTime":415.62,"body":"from El Fenix. Anytime they"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":411.42,"endTime":415.62,"body":"would come out, it would be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":415.62,"endTime":418.32,"body":"like, Oh, shit, I know. If I eat"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":415.62,"endTime":418.32,"body":"these. I'm going downhill and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":418.32,"endTime":421.77,"body":"I'm going to be screwed up all"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":418.32,"endTime":421.77,"body":"over. It's all over. It's done."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":421.77,"endTime":426.81,"body":"And it's true. It's like it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":421.77,"endTime":426.81,"body":"the same damn thing. Certain"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":426.84,"endTime":431.28,"body":"noises like loud kids, certain"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":426.84,"endTime":431.28,"body":"songs that come on will remind"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":431.28,"endTime":436.59,"body":"you of a time that was you know,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":431.28,"endTime":436.59,"body":"somewhat traumatic for you. I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":436.59,"endTime":439.8,"body":"gonna say one for Matt. That is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":436.59,"endTime":439.8,"body":"kind of triggering is when"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":439.8,"endTime":441.69,"body":"there's shit that's loose in the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":439.8,"endTime":441.69,"body":"car."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":442.2,"endTime":444.36,"body":"I feel seen man. Why did"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":442.2,"endTime":444.36,"body":"you put that in there? I just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":444.36,"endTime":447.03,"body":"saw that on your board. Yes. If"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":444.36,"endTime":447.03,"body":"you read the board says shit"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":447.03,"endTime":450.57,"body":"loose in a car. I've got this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":447.03,"endTime":450.57,"body":"thing where if I hear a note"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":450.57,"endTime":453.72,"body":"like a small rattle, we can be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":450.57,"endTime":453.72,"body":"driving in the car and I can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":453.72,"endTime":459.48,"body":"hear like oh my god, I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":453.72,"endTime":459.48,"body":"What is that noise? And he's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":459.87,"endTime":462.39,"body":"turned on the radio. I started"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":459.87,"endTime":462.39,"body":"to pull over start looking for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":462.39,"endTime":464.67,"body":"it. Like what is this noise? It"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":462.39,"endTime":464.67,"body":"just for some"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":464.67,"endTime":466.68,"body":"reason drives me nuts."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":464.67,"endTime":466.68,"body":"You get so mad, and I'm just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":466.68,"endTime":469.17,"body":"like, shut up. I don't hear"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":466.68,"endTime":469.17,"body":"anything. Just ignore it. Move"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":469.17,"endTime":472.26,"body":"on. Why are you so triggered by"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":469.17,"endTime":472.26,"body":"this loud noise? Or this subtle"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":472.26,"endTime":473.58,"body":"noise that nobody else can hear"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":473.61,"endTime":477.57,"body":"noises can be a huge one."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":473.61,"endTime":477.57,"body":"Yeah, I deal with things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":477.57,"endTime":481.59,"body":"differently. Now. I used to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":477.57,"endTime":481.59,"body":"triggered very badly by my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":481.59,"endTime":485.94,"body":"phone. When my phone would ring"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":481.59,"endTime":485.94,"body":"the sound of the ring would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":485.94,"endTime":489.0,"body":"trigger me into stress and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":485.94,"endTime":489.0,"body":"anxiety. And I would have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":489.0,"endTime":492.87,"body":"change my ringtone every 60 days"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":489.0,"endTime":492.87,"body":"or so. Yeah, because it would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":492.87,"endTime":495.36,"body":"straight trigger me every time"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":492.87,"endTime":495.36,"body":"it rang. It just this feeling of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":495.36,"endTime":496.65,"body":"dread came over me."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":496.77,"endTime":499.47,"body":"Yeah. And since I'm an"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":496.77,"endTime":499.47,"body":"empath, I always took on those"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":499.47,"endTime":500.46,"body":"emotions as well."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":500.789,"endTime":502.439,"body":"So on around this house,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":500.789,"endTime":502.439,"body":"y'all."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":503.43,"endTime":505.68,"body":"So when I heard those"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":503.43,"endTime":505.68,"body":"ringtones I'm like shit, that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":505.68,"endTime":508.62,"body":"means that Matt's gonna be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":505.68,"endTime":508.62,"body":"pissed off and he's gonna"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":508.62,"endTime":511.11,"body":"complain and something's wrong."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":508.62,"endTime":511.11,"body":"So I'm just going to take on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":511.11,"endTime":514.71,"body":"your emotions too, because of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":511.11,"endTime":514.71,"body":"that. That were great. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":514.95,"endTime":517.62,"body":"that's kind of funny. That's why"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":514.95,"endTime":517.62,"body":"I put that on there. Because I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":517.62,"endTime":521.73,"body":"know I know your shit. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":517.62,"endTime":521.73,"body":"Okay. And now certain sense,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":521.76,"endTime":524.28,"body":"we're gonna go on to something"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":521.76,"endTime":524.28,"body":"else like smells certain smells"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":524.28,"endTime":524.85,"body":"can be triggered"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":524.88,"endTime":528.18,"body":"olfactory senses can bring"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":524.88,"endTime":528.18,"body":"back all kinds of events that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":528.18,"endTime":530.73,"body":"you didn't even know you exist."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":528.18,"endTime":530.73,"body":"In your mind. It opens this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":530.73,"endTime":533.13,"body":"filing cabinet, sometimes of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":530.73,"endTime":533.13,"body":"some really painful thing,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":533.13,"endTime":535.56,"body":"sometimes good things, but a lot"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":533.13,"endTime":535.56,"body":"of times it's painful stuff."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":535.62,"endTime":540.9,"body":"Yeah. Public Places like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":535.62,"endTime":540.9,"body":"going to a grocery store. Like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":540.9,"endTime":543.3,"body":"for me, that was a trigger for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":540.9,"endTime":543.3,"body":"me. Because I used to have panic"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":543.3,"endTime":546.33,"body":"attacks. When I would go out in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":543.3,"endTime":546.33,"body":"public, it was very weird. Or I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":546.33,"endTime":549.66,"body":"get in the car and I would have"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":546.33,"endTime":549.66,"body":"panic attacks. And I would see"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":549.66,"endTime":553.68,"body":"something so like a tree, it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":549.66,"endTime":553.68,"body":"would just make me go into a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":553.68,"endTime":557.25,"body":"panic or trigger is very odd."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":553.68,"endTime":557.25,"body":"And I don't know why. Wow."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":557.819,"endTime":561.719,"body":"Wow. It's crazy. You think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":557.819,"endTime":561.719,"body":"of all the ways that these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":561.719,"endTime":565.559,"body":"things can affect us. And when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":561.719,"endTime":565.559,"body":"we're going through this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":565.559,"endTime":568.349,"body":"episode, we were talking a lot"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":565.559,"endTime":568.349,"body":"about Okay, so what is the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":568.379,"endTime":572.069,"body":"what's the goal here? And the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":568.379,"endTime":572.069,"body":"goal was to really learn how to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":572.069,"endTime":575.909,"body":"deal with these differently, not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":572.069,"endTime":575.909,"body":"avoid them. Yeah. Because like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":575.909,"endTime":578.459,"body":"we open this up with it's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":575.909,"endTime":578.459,"body":"the world's job to make sure"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":578.459,"endTime":581.189,"body":"that we're comfortable. We have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":578.459,"endTime":581.189,"body":"to learn how to deal with the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":581.189,"endTime":583.919,"body":"world. Yes, rather than"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":581.189,"endTime":583.919,"body":"concentrating on what needs to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":583.919,"endTime":586.799,"body":"be changed in the world. Let's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":583.919,"endTime":586.799,"body":"concentrate on us and our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":586.799,"endTime":590.819,"body":"attitude and our responses to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":586.799,"endTime":590.819,"body":"the world. Yeah, stimulus in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":590.819,"endTime":590.999,"body":"world."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":591.03,"endTime":593.4,"body":"There's always going to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":591.03,"endTime":593.4,"body":"be assholes around to you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":593.4,"endTime":596.34,"body":"always going to be exposed to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":593.4,"endTime":596.34,"body":"something that you don't like if"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":596.34,"endTime":599.7,"body":"we try to control what all of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":596.34,"endTime":599.7,"body":"these other external factors are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":599.7,"endTime":602.61,"body":"doing. meaning we're just going"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":599.7,"endTime":602.61,"body":"to constantly be miserable"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":602.61,"endTime":603.42,"body":"because it triggers"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":603.42,"endTime":607.08,"body":"us. Yeah, triggers show"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":603.42,"endTime":607.08,"body":"up. And whenever we overreact to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":607.08,"endTime":610.95,"body":"other people's opinions, at the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":607.08,"endTime":610.95,"body":"end of the day, that's when for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":610.95,"endTime":613.56,"body":"me, that's when I see these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":610.95,"endTime":613.56,"body":"things the most is when I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":613.56,"endTime":616.89,"body":"overreacting to someone else's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":613.56,"endTime":616.89,"body":"opinion or their take on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":616.89,"endTime":620.97,"body":"something. Or sometimes it is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":616.89,"endTime":620.97,"body":"this other stuff, like, not so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":620.97,"endTime":624.99,"body":"much anymore. I've gotten really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":620.97,"endTime":624.99,"body":"good at this, but the ringtones"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":624.99,"endTime":627.75,"body":"and the weird noises and like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":624.99,"endTime":627.75,"body":"yelling, yelling was a big one"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":627.75,"endTime":630.15,"body":"for me when people yelled, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":627.75,"endTime":630.15,"body":"brought back some really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":630.15,"endTime":633.78,"body":"traumatic experiences from my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":630.15,"endTime":633.78,"body":"childhood. I mean, crying, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":633.81,"endTime":638.82,"body":"you crying as well. I guess we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":633.81,"endTime":638.82,"body":"should get into our personal"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":638.82,"endTime":641.04,"body":"triggers. First, what triggers"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":638.82,"endTime":641.04,"body":"us because I think that some of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":641.04,"endTime":644.07,"body":"these are relatable. And I want"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":641.04,"endTime":644.07,"body":"to get people sort of some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":644.07,"endTime":648.24,"body":"insight onto. Listen, you're not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":644.07,"endTime":648.24,"body":"as crazy as you think you are."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":648.72,"endTime":651.36,"body":"You're not like, we're all."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":648.72,"endTime":651.36,"body":"We're all people. And everyone's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":651.36,"endTime":654.15,"body":"got their own stuff. And we may"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":651.36,"endTime":654.15,"body":"seem like we've got it all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":654.15,"endTime":656.25,"body":"together. But we deal with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":654.15,"endTime":656.25,"body":"stuff, too."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":656.339,"endTime":661.079,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. And living in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":656.339,"endTime":661.079,"body":"the social media world, when"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":661.079,"endTime":664.589,"body":"we're looking at things online."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":661.079,"endTime":664.589,"body":"They're telling us Oh, you know,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":664.589,"endTime":667.409,"body":"block out everything that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":664.589,"endTime":667.409,"body":"doesn't give you joy, get rid of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":667.409,"endTime":672.119,"body":"everything that doesn't bring"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":667.409,"endTime":672.119,"body":"you peace, let's be real. Life"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":672.119,"endTime":676.289,"body":"is about happiness and sadness,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":672.119,"endTime":676.289,"body":"you can't have one without the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":676.289,"endTime":679.619,"body":"other. So we can't just take"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":676.289,"endTime":679.619,"body":"everything out. That doesn't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":679.619,"endTime":683.429,"body":"give us joy. There's going to be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":679.619,"endTime":683.429,"body":"things such as triggers, that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":683.429,"endTime":685.949,"body":"don't give us joy. So we'll have"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":683.429,"endTime":685.949,"body":"to learn how to deal with them."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":687.059,"endTime":691.319,"body":"Some of my biggest triggers were"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":687.059,"endTime":691.319,"body":"Facebook, you know, social"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":691.319,"endTime":695.009,"body":"media, seeing highlight reels."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":691.319,"endTime":695.009,"body":"It used to irritate me very"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":695.009,"endTime":699.119,"body":"badly. What about you? What are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":695.009,"endTime":699.119,"body":"some another a trigger for you?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":699.69,"endTime":702.57,"body":"Work was a trigger. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":699.69,"endTime":702.57,"body":"mean, from the moment I walked"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":702.57,"endTime":706.2,"body":"in the door, I was triggered."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":702.57,"endTime":706.2,"body":"And it was the stress, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":706.2,"endTime":709.41,"body":"anxiety, the feelings of dread"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":706.2,"endTime":709.41,"body":"the feelings of this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":709.41,"endTime":712.8,"body":"overwhelming responsibility that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":709.41,"endTime":712.8,"body":"I had. And anytime I had to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":712.8,"endTime":714.93,"body":"answer someone's question, or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":712.8,"endTime":714.93,"body":"someone came to me with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":714.93,"endTime":718.14,"body":"something, it would trigger me."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":714.93,"endTime":718.14,"body":"Yeah, it would set me into like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":718.14,"endTime":720.9,"body":"this, this panic feeling and I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":718.14,"endTime":720.9,"body":"would get agitated. Now we get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":720.9,"endTime":724.8,"body":"short with people. And it took a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":720.9,"endTime":724.8,"body":"long time to get to the root of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":724.8,"endTime":727.8,"body":"that one. But for me, yelling is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":724.8,"endTime":727.8,"body":"a trigger for me. Yeah. So I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":727.8,"endTime":734.7,"body":"grew up in a home and it was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":727.8,"endTime":734.7,"body":"loud. My mom communicated, she"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":734.7,"endTime":738.03,"body":"had so there's three boys in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":734.7,"endTime":738.03,"body":"house. And for those of you that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":738.03,"endTime":743.31,"body":"have kids, you know what that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":738.03,"endTime":743.31,"body":"like, and my mom at her wit's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":743.31,"endTime":746.55,"body":"end a lot would scream and yell,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":743.31,"endTime":746.55,"body":"and I'm not a screaming yell"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":746.55,"endTime":749.91,"body":"kind of person. I'm a I'm a real"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":746.55,"endTime":749.91,"body":"quiet, calm guy. Yeah. And so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":749.91,"endTime":753.42,"body":"for me, it is like nails on a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":749.91,"endTime":753.42,"body":"chalkboard. And it's makes my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":753.42,"endTime":756.3,"body":"heart race. I mean, I can't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":753.42,"endTime":756.3,"body":"stand"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":756.3,"endTime":758.88,"body":"it, which is crazy,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":756.3,"endTime":758.88,"body":"because you marry me. And I have"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":758.88,"endTime":762.21,"body":"a very, very loud family. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":758.88,"endTime":762.21,"body":"you guys are sides of the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":762.21,"endTime":765.39,"body":"family. My dad's side. And my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":762.21,"endTime":765.39,"body":"mom's side were very loud"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":765.39,"endTime":769.29,"body":"people. Yeah. So I've had to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":765.39,"endTime":769.29,"body":"learn to really calm it down."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":769.53,"endTime":771.87,"body":"It's good. Some other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":769.53,"endTime":771.87,"body":"emotional triggers for me. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":771.87,"endTime":775.47,"body":"when I was getting sober, that I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":771.87,"endTime":775.47,"body":"did have some triggers. And some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":775.47,"endTime":779.82,"body":"of them were the simplest"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":775.47,"endTime":779.82,"body":"things. Boredom. Boredom was a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":779.82,"endTime":782.49,"body":"trigger for me. I didn't know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":779.82,"endTime":782.49,"body":"how to be bored. I understand"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":782.49,"endTime":785.61,"body":"that. I didn't know how to just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":782.49,"endTime":785.61,"body":"sit there in my in my fields and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":785.61,"endTime":788.58,"body":"in my thoughts and just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":785.61,"endTime":788.58,"body":"experience the world. Or just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":788.58,"endTime":792.09,"body":"watch TV. Like I didn't know how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":788.58,"endTime":792.09,"body":"to do that not being effed up on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":792.09,"endTime":795.3,"body":"something. Yeah. So boredom was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":792.09,"endTime":795.3,"body":"a huge trigger for me learning"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":795.3,"endTime":798.15,"body":"how to use that time,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":795.3,"endTime":798.15,"body":"productively or just being"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":798.15,"endTime":801.66,"body":"present and being okay with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":798.15,"endTime":801.66,"body":"being me. That was a big one for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":801.66,"endTime":806.01,"body":"me. Early on, especially really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":801.66,"endTime":806.01,"body":"early on Glee for the first"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":806.01,"endTime":809.16,"body":"month or two that I was sober."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":806.01,"endTime":809.16,"body":"Being around alcohol was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":809.16,"endTime":812.61,"body":"uncomfortable. Yeah, not so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":809.16,"endTime":812.61,"body":"much. Because I felt like I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":812.61,"endTime":815.22,"body":"needed to use like the craving"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":812.61,"endTime":815.22,"body":"didn't necessarily set in, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":815.22,"endTime":819.15,"body":"just, I didn't know how to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":815.22,"endTime":819.15,"body":"me. And it was I was really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":819.15,"endTime":822.72,"body":"insecure about that. And that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":819.15,"endTime":822.72,"body":"highlighted this thing I knew I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":822.72,"endTime":827.07,"body":"was lacking was that I didn't I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":822.72,"endTime":827.07,"body":"was, I wore a mask all the time."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":827.07,"endTime":829.14,"body":"I didn't know how to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":827.07,"endTime":829.14,"body":"authentic. And so it triggered"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":829.14,"endTime":833.49,"body":"me into like this depressive,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":829.14,"endTime":833.49,"body":"like shameful state that like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":833.52,"endTime":837.3,"body":"I'm not good enough, and I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":833.52,"endTime":837.3,"body":"belong. And no one's gonna like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":837.3,"endTime":840.03,"body":"me if they really know who I am."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":837.3,"endTime":840.03,"body":"And I'm not the fun guy anymore."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":840.03,"endTime":842.46,"body":"So just being around him brought"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":840.03,"endTime":842.46,"body":"up a lot of those feelings and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":842.46,"endTime":846.36,"body":"thoughts. It was tough. Yeah, it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":842.46,"endTime":846.36,"body":"was super tough. I can't think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":846.36,"endTime":848.07,"body":"of any of those off top my head."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":846.36,"endTime":848.07,"body":"I'm sure that I'll come up with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":848.07,"endTime":852.93,"body":"a couple here in a second. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":848.07,"endTime":852.93,"body":"dealing with triggers. There's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":852.99,"endTime":855.66,"body":"million ways to deal with this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":852.99,"endTime":855.66,"body":"stuff. We can tell you what we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":855.66,"endTime":860.28,"body":"did though. And so I think that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":855.66,"endTime":860.28,"body":"your your path to dealing with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":860.28,"endTime":863.88,"body":"these things has been really fun"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":860.28,"endTime":863.88,"body":"to watch. I say fun. It's been"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":864.12,"endTime":867.21,"body":"it's been admirable. No, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":864.12,"endTime":867.21,"body":"just it's been inspiring to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":867.21,"endTime":870.3,"body":"watch because you are truly"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":867.21,"endTime":870.3,"body":"them. You live with panic"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":870.3,"endTime":872.67,"body":"disorder, and you could get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":870.3,"endTime":872.67,"body":"triggered by literally anything."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":872.67,"endTime":872.91,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":872.91,"endTime":874.68,"body":"And it wasn't just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":872.91,"endTime":874.68,"body":"triggered to where I would be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":874.92,"endTime":878.91,"body":"angry or upset. It would put me"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":874.92,"endTime":878.91,"body":"into panic mode into a panic"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":878.91,"endTime":879.42,"body":"attack."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":879.45,"endTime":880.68,"body":"Yeah, completely."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":880.98,"endTime":884.34,"body":"I would go I would go"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":880.98,"endTime":884.34,"body":"from here all the way down. Like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":884.34,"endTime":885.15,"body":"it was crazy."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":885.569,"endTime":888.749,"body":"What was your first step"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":885.569,"endTime":888.749,"body":"in dealing with your triggers?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":888.749,"endTime":891.269,"body":"How do you where did you start?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":888.749,"endTime":891.269,"body":"Like someone's hearing this for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":891.269,"endTime":893.999,"body":"the first time they stumbled"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":891.269,"endTime":893.999,"body":"upon the episode? They know that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":893.999,"endTime":897.509,"body":"they get triggered a lot and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":893.999,"endTime":897.509,"body":"they don't like it. They don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":897.509,"endTime":899.129,"body":"know what to do though. Where do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":897.509,"endTime":899.129,"body":"you start"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":899.16,"endTime":904.17,"body":"the first step for me was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":899.16,"endTime":904.17,"body":"to acknowledge that it was a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":904.17,"endTime":908.1,"body":"problem within me. And it wasn't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":904.17,"endTime":908.1,"body":"an external issue."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":908.31,"endTime":910.56,"body":"How did you come to that,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":908.31,"endTime":910.56,"body":"though, because I think that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":911.43,"endTime":914.67,"body":"because I was miserable,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":911.43,"endTime":914.67,"body":"because I realized that I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":914.67,"endTime":917.04,"body":"couldn't change what was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":914.67,"endTime":917.04,"body":"happening. I couldn't change"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":917.04,"endTime":920.13,"body":"these triggers, it kept"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":917.04,"endTime":920.13,"body":"happening over and over and over"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":920.13,"endTime":922.95,"body":"again. And I'm like, okay,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":920.13,"endTime":922.95,"body":"obviously, I'm doing something"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":922.95,"endTime":926.4,"body":"wrong. So I need to change the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":922.95,"endTime":926.4,"body":"way I'm approaching this,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":926.43,"endTime":930.93,"body":"instead of trying to change how"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":926.43,"endTime":930.93,"body":"others are doing whatever"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":930.93,"endTime":931.41,"body":"they're doing."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":931.44,"endTime":934.65,"body":"Was that a process to come"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":931.44,"endTime":934.65,"body":"to that realization, though,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":934.65,"endTime":937.59,"body":"because I think for a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":934.65,"endTime":937.59,"body":"people, the simplest thing is,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":937.62,"endTime":942.09,"body":"I'll just block that person or I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":937.62,"endTime":942.09,"body":"will just not watch TV, or I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":942.09,"endTime":943.71,"body":"will just take a different way"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":942.09,"endTime":943.71,"body":"home."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":943.77,"endTime":947.1,"body":"Okay, well, that's the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":943.77,"endTime":947.1,"body":"second part of my process. Okay."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":947.13,"endTime":948.21,"body":"So that's the second part."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":949.59,"endTime":954.96,"body":"The second part is to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":949.59,"endTime":954.96,"body":"actually temporarily remove"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":954.96,"endTime":959.13,"body":"myself from these triggers. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":954.96,"endTime":959.13,"body":"say that Facebook, you know, the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":959.13,"endTime":963.09,"body":"highlight reels are irritating"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":959.13,"endTime":963.09,"body":"me. And it was caused me to be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":963.18,"endTime":967.32,"body":"angry, I deleted Facebook for a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":963.18,"endTime":967.32,"body":"long time, you were off for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":967.32,"endTime":970.71,"body":"quite some time I was off"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":967.32,"endTime":970.71,"body":"Facebook, because I could not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":970.71,"endTime":974.43,"body":"mentally handle it. Because"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":970.71,"endTime":974.43,"body":"every time I got on, I would see"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":974.43,"endTime":978.87,"body":"things that would piss me off."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":974.43,"endTime":978.87,"body":"So but my goal was not to stay"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":978.87,"endTime":983.55,"body":"off Facebook, the goal was to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":978.87,"endTime":983.55,"body":"deal with the problems and to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":983.55,"endTime":987.06,"body":"deal with those emotions so that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":983.55,"endTime":987.06,"body":"I could get back on Facebook and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":987.06,"endTime":992.22,"body":"cope better. So I think that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":987.06,"endTime":992.22,"body":"removing yourself from these"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":992.22,"endTime":995.31,"body":"things that are triggering is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":992.22,"endTime":995.31,"body":"important, because it allows you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":995.31,"endTime":998.94,"body":"to focus on you, and you know"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":995.31,"endTime":998.94,"body":"that you can get back into it in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":998.94,"endTime":999.99,"body":"a healthier mindset."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1000.02,"endTime":1003.29,"body":"So the goal is to learn"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1000.02,"endTime":1003.29,"body":"how to deal with things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1003.38,"endTime":1007.76,"body":"eventually. But in the early"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1003.38,"endTime":1007.76,"body":"process, it's best to remove"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1007.76,"endTime":1012.44,"body":"yourself from those things. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1007.76,"endTime":1012.44,"body":"just focus on so if it's social"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1012.44,"endTime":1015.08,"body":"media, that's the example you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1012.44,"endTime":1015.08,"body":"gave, but it could also be a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1015.08,"endTime":1018.14,"body":"person in your life. Yes. If"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1015.08,"endTime":1018.14,"body":"you've got a friend or family"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1018.14,"endTime":1022.37,"body":"member that constantly triggers"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1018.14,"endTime":1022.37,"body":"you, guess what? You don't have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1022.37,"endTime":1024.92,"body":"to deal with these people. No,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1022.37,"endTime":1024.92,"body":"you don't. If you've got crappy"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1024.92,"endTime":1028.1,"body":"friends that don't pick you up,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1024.92,"endTime":1028.1,"body":"and they're always on you, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1028.1,"endTime":1032.54,"body":"they're berating you and beating"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1028.1,"endTime":1032.54,"body":"you down and belittling you find"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1032.54,"endTime":1033.35,"body":"new friends,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1033.38,"endTime":1037.19,"body":"right? You have control"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1033.38,"endTime":1037.19,"body":"over that. And that's okay,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1037.19,"endTime":1038.93,"body":"we're you know, we're not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1037.19,"endTime":1038.93,"body":"talking about those types of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1038.93,"endTime":1041.39,"body":"triggers that you have control"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1038.93,"endTime":1041.39,"body":"over. These are things that are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1041.39,"endTime":1043.43,"body":"literally in your face"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1041.39,"endTime":1043.43,"body":"constantly."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1043.49,"endTime":1046.01,"body":"So these are boundaries,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1043.49,"endTime":1046.01,"body":"these are examples of boundaries"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1046.01,"endTime":1048.68,"body":"that you put into place to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1046.01,"endTime":1048.68,"body":"protect yourself until you could"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1048.68,"endTime":1056.69,"body":"heal. Yes. So you identify what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1048.68,"endTime":1056.69,"body":"you need to heal from. It is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1056.69,"endTime":1059.54,"body":"that a process of elimination as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1056.69,"endTime":1059.54,"body":"these things come into your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1059.54,"endTime":1063.47,"body":"life, you're sort of taking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1059.54,"endTime":1063.47,"body":"mental notes. It's kind of kind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1063.47,"endTime":1065.99,"body":"of where I remember with you was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1063.47,"endTime":1065.99,"body":"taking mental notes as these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1065.99,"endTime":1068.84,"body":"things are coming up. And like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1065.99,"endTime":1068.84,"body":"there's one, there's another"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1068.84,"endTime":1071.72,"body":"one, there's another one. And so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1068.84,"endTime":1071.72,"body":"you create this like laundry"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1071.72,"endTime":1073.97,"body":"list of these different things."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1071.72,"endTime":1073.97,"body":"But there's usually a common"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1073.97,"endTime":1077.57,"body":"theme in them. Yeah, for sure."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1073.97,"endTime":1077.57,"body":"And then you start to work on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1077.57,"endTime":1080.9,"body":"them by first removing yourself"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1077.57,"endTime":1080.9,"body":"from the situation. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1081.02,"endTime":1084.23,"body":"identifying them, removing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1081.02,"endTime":1084.23,"body":"yourself from the situation, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1084.23,"endTime":1086.69,"body":"then what so you've removed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1084.23,"endTime":1086.69,"body":"yourself, you've blocked"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1086.69,"endTime":1088.19,"body":"Facebook, whatever."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1088.22,"endTime":1091.04,"body":"This is where self help"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1088.22,"endTime":1091.04,"body":"comes or self care comes into"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1091.04,"endTime":1096.86,"body":"play. This is where you can"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1091.04,"endTime":1096.86,"body":"actually get therapy you can. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1096.86,"endTime":1100.04,"body":"read a lot of self help books"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1096.86,"endTime":1100.04,"body":"like David Goggins books, things"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1100.04,"endTime":1104.54,"body":"that told me was that other one,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1100.04,"endTime":1104.54,"body":"Mark Manson, subtle art of not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1104.54,"endTime":1107.87,"body":"giving a fuck, he's got like a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1104.54,"endTime":1107.87,"body":"whole section, or he's got a few"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1107.87,"endTime":1112.13,"body":"books that I just wanted to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1107.87,"endTime":1112.13,"body":"learn how to not give a rat's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1112.13,"endTime":1114.38,"body":"ass, I didn't want to have these"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1112.13,"endTime":1114.38,"body":"feelings. So that's where the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1114.38,"endTime":1120.8,"body":"self help books come in therapy."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1114.38,"endTime":1120.8,"body":"Ask for help. That's that next"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1120.8,"endTime":1121.7,"body":"step. listen to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1121.7,"endTime":1125.21,"body":"podcasts. Yeah, listen to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1121.7,"endTime":1125.21,"body":"podcasts. That is something"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1125.21,"endTime":1132.38,"body":"actually did. What what do you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1125.21,"endTime":1132.38,"body":"do? Once you've focused on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1132.38,"endTime":1135.11,"body":"yourself, and once you've,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1132.38,"endTime":1135.11,"body":"you've done kind of what you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1135.11,"endTime":1136.22,"body":"just described, and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1136.91,"endTime":1140.66,"body":"then what, that's when I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1136.91,"endTime":1140.66,"body":"slowly start to try to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1140.84,"endTime":1143.9,"body":"reintroduce myself to the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1140.84,"endTime":1143.9,"body":"triggers. So I was slowly get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1143.9,"endTime":1144.62,"body":"back on Facebook."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1144.62,"endTime":1146.99,"body":"So you learn a few things."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1144.62,"endTime":1146.99,"body":"And then you slowly introduce"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1146.99,"endTime":1150.02,"body":"yourself back in what do you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1146.99,"endTime":1150.02,"body":"remember what that felt like?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1150.02,"endTime":1152.09,"body":"early on? Was it scary fearful?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1152.33,"endTime":1154.61,"body":"Yeah, it was scary. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1152.33,"endTime":1154.61,"body":"mean, it was like, Okay, well,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1154.67,"endTime":1157.55,"body":"I, I don't want to be triggered,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1154.67,"endTime":1157.55,"body":"but I probably am going to be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1157.55,"endTime":1159.86,"body":"triggered. So how am I going to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1157.55,"endTime":1159.86,"body":"deal with this? I mean, it's a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1159.86,"endTime":1160.79,"body":"scary feeling."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1161.18,"endTime":1164.45,"body":"Yeah. And when you do get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1161.18,"endTime":1164.45,"body":"triggered, then like, this is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1164.45,"endTime":1169.16,"body":"something I want to bring up as."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1164.45,"endTime":1169.16,"body":"This is not a process of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1169.16,"endTime":1169.91,"body":"perfection."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1170.48,"endTime":1172.88,"body":"It's a process of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1170.48,"endTime":1172.88,"body":"progress. Yes. Practice,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1172.88,"endTime":1173.87,"body":"practice, practice."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1173.9,"endTime":1176.39,"body":"Because at no point in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1173.9,"endTime":1176.39,"body":"your life, are you going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1176.45,"endTime":1180.14,"body":"arrive at a point where you note"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1176.45,"endTime":1180.14,"body":"do not get triggered? You have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1180.14,"endTime":1182.9,"body":"no more problems. There's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1180.14,"endTime":1182.9,"body":"nothing else to work on. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1182.9,"endTime":1183.71,"body":"and I'm fixed."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1183.74,"endTime":1186.95,"body":"This is a lifetime of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1183.74,"endTime":1186.95,"body":"intentions like of being"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1186.95,"endTime":1187.67,"body":"intentional. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1187.67,"endTime":1190.55,"body":"like we talked about, like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1187.67,"endTime":1190.55,"body":"triggers or their open wounds,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1190.61,"endTime":1193.13,"body":"and I think that you should"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1190.61,"endTime":1193.13,"body":"approach them compassionately"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1193.52,"endTime":1196.61,"body":"with that feeling that this is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1193.52,"endTime":1196.61,"body":"this is something that's hurt."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1196.61,"endTime":1199.97,"body":"This is something in me that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1196.61,"endTime":1199.97,"body":"needs to be healed. Let me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1200.0,"endTime":1203.66,"body":"approach it with care non"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1200.0,"endTime":1203.66,"body":"judgmental? Yeah, like, be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1203.66,"endTime":1207.2,"body":"gentle with yourself. Yeah, as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1203.66,"endTime":1207.2,"body":"you go through this, because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1207.2,"endTime":1210.23,"body":"it's people joke about him or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1207.2,"endTime":1210.23,"body":"he's triggered, she's triggered,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1210.23,"endTime":1213.32,"body":"you know, but it's not funny."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1210.23,"endTime":1213.32,"body":"The day it's really not right."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1213.35,"endTime":1216.74,"body":"Like, these are deep emotional"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1213.35,"endTime":1216.74,"body":"wounds that people have. I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1216.74,"endTime":1220.52,"body":"the the issue comes when we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1216.74,"endTime":1220.52,"body":"decide that it's the world's job"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1220.52,"endTime":1222.89,"body":"to fix these, right. And I'm not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1220.52,"endTime":1222.89,"body":"going to get into like the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1222.89,"endTime":1225.8,"body":"politics of all this and like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1222.89,"endTime":1225.8,"body":"safe spaces that exist on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1225.8,"endTime":1228.2,"body":"college campuses and things like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1225.8,"endTime":1228.2,"body":"that. I have no opinion on that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1228.2,"endTime":1232.16,"body":"stuff one way or the other. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1228.2,"endTime":1232.16,"body":"can only speak for myself. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1232.16,"endTime":1234.89,"body":"what has triggered me in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1232.16,"endTime":1234.89,"body":"past, every time I'm triggered,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1235.46,"endTime":1238.88,"body":"I see an opportunity. Yes. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1235.46,"endTime":1238.88,"body":"that sounds kind of weird, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1238.91,"endTime":1242.66,"body":"just stick with me, when I get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1238.91,"endTime":1242.66,"body":"triggered. I take note of that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1242.69,"endTime":1245.96,"body":"And it's an opportunity for me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1242.69,"endTime":1245.96,"body":"to grow. When something's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1245.96,"endTime":1250.25,"body":"hurting me, I look at myself and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1245.96,"endTime":1250.25,"body":"I say, Okay, what is that? Why"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1250.25,"endTime":1252.98,"body":"is that? Why did that just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1250.25,"endTime":1252.98,"body":"happen? Why did I just get so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1252.98,"endTime":1258.11,"body":"upset over that? And then I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1252.98,"endTime":1258.11,"body":"spend time in my mind. And I dig"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1258.11,"endTime":1261.65,"body":"deep and figure out what is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1258.11,"endTime":1261.65,"body":"being harmed. It's not just the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1261.65,"endTime":1265.19,"body":"guy that said the thing. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1261.65,"endTime":1265.19,"body":"it's, it's something deep inside"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1265.19,"endTime":1268.16,"body":"me. It's an insecurity or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1265.19,"endTime":1268.16,"body":"something, some something I have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1268.16,"endTime":1271.13,"body":"or a belief that I have. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1268.16,"endTime":1271.13,"body":"they've just accentuated it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1271.16,"endTime":1276.23,"body":"exactly. Like if if you upset"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1271.16,"endTime":1276.23,"body":"me, today, I have to give you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1276.23,"endTime":1279.92,"body":"permission to do that. I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1276.23,"endTime":1279.92,"body":"get upset by people's opinions"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1279.92,"endTime":1282.83,"body":"or their thoughts or their"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1279.92,"endTime":1282.83,"body":"whatever. I don't get upset by"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1282.83,"endTime":1287.33,"body":"that stuff. Because the rent in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1282.83,"endTime":1287.33,"body":"my head is way too expensive."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1287.33,"endTime":1290.78,"body":"You can't afford it. But it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1287.33,"endTime":1290.78,"body":"didn't start that way. No, it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1290.78,"endTime":1293.63,"body":"didn't start that way. And you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1290.78,"endTime":1293.63,"body":"get to that point, I think the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1293.63,"endTime":1297.8,"body":"goal is ultimately to get to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1293.63,"endTime":1297.8,"body":"that point, but you have to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1297.8,"endTime":1303.2,"body":"through the beginning stages."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1297.8,"endTime":1303.2,"body":"And so like, get off social"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1303.2,"endTime":1308.63,"body":"media, you watched less news."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1303.2,"endTime":1308.63,"body":"Yep. Like, for me, the first 90"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1308.63,"endTime":1311.57,"body":"days that I was sober. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1308.63,"endTime":1311.57,"body":"didn't see me at bars. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1311.57,"endTime":1314.45,"body":"didn't see me like a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1311.57,"endTime":1314.45,"body":"stuff I stayed in, I protected"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1314.45,"endTime":1317.66,"body":"myself. And I tried to figure"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1314.45,"endTime":1317.66,"body":"out what it was going to be like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1317.66,"endTime":1321.53,"body":"walking with my new legs. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1317.66,"endTime":1321.53,"body":"sort of Exactly. Exactly."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1321.56,"endTime":1324.2,"body":"Getting the point where I felt"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1321.56,"endTime":1324.2,"body":"comfortable enough to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1324.2,"endTime":1328.16,"body":"reintroduce myself. And it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1324.2,"endTime":1328.16,"body":"wasn't perfect. Right away knew"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1328.19,"endTime":1330.32,"body":"and it's not going to be perfect"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1328.19,"endTime":1330.32,"body":"right away. And I'd kind of hope"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1330.32,"endTime":1332.87,"body":"people to hear anything. They"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1330.32,"endTime":1332.87,"body":"hear that and it's okay, if it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1332.87,"endTime":1335.57,"body":"not perfect right away doesn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1332.87,"endTime":1335.57,"body":"mean you failed. No, this is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1335.57,"endTime":1338.66,"body":"just such a process like these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1335.57,"endTime":1338.66,"body":"things didn't form overnight."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1339.08,"endTime":1341.12,"body":"And they're not going to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1339.08,"endTime":1341.12,"body":"healed overnight. Yeah. But if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1341.12,"endTime":1343.61,"body":"you continue to work on them, if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1341.12,"endTime":1343.61,"body":"you continue to work on your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1343.61,"endTime":1346.91,"body":"responses, then things get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1343.61,"endTime":1346.91,"body":"better. And just working on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1346.91,"endTime":1350.27,"body":"responses. It's it sounds"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1346.91,"endTime":1350.27,"body":"abstract, and it's sort of hard"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1350.27,"endTime":1352.73,"body":"to explain. But when I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1350.27,"endTime":1352.73,"body":"about getting triggered by"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1352.73,"endTime":1356.18,"body":"something, I truly do, I have a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1352.73,"endTime":1356.18,"body":"conversation in my mind. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1356.18,"endTime":1359.0,"body":"put a little checkmark next to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1356.18,"endTime":1359.0,"body":"whatever it was that upset me."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1359.39,"endTime":1363.41,"body":"The other day we were driving"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1359.39,"endTime":1363.41,"body":"and someone did Yeah, I had to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1363.41,"endTime":1366.02,"body":"get over it get over because the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1363.41,"endTime":1366.02,"body":"lane was the lane was blocked."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1366.02,"endTime":1368.57,"body":"And we didn't know and I didn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1366.02,"endTime":1368.57,"body":"know as blocks minutes. So I had"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1368.57,"endTime":1372.56,"body":"to get over and this guy wasn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1368.57,"endTime":1372.56,"body":"letting me over. And then he he"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1372.56,"endTime":1376.01,"body":"honked at me like laying on the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1372.56,"endTime":1376.01,"body":"horn. And my first thought was,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1376.04,"endTime":1379.31,"body":"this is anger. First of all,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1376.04,"endTime":1379.31,"body":"what the hell, man? I had no"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1379.31,"endTime":1382.67,"body":"choice and why you mad at me."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1379.31,"endTime":1382.67,"body":"And then as we were driving, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1382.67,"endTime":1385.25,"body":"had the conversation with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1382.67,"endTime":1385.25,"body":"myself. Okay, he honked and I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1385.25,"endTime":1390.02,"body":"got upset. Why, though? Because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1385.25,"endTime":1390.02,"body":"I felt less than I felt like he"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1390.02,"endTime":1392.66,"body":"thought I was an idiot. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1390.02,"endTime":1392.66,"body":"And if he actually knew me, he"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1392.66,"endTime":1395.45,"body":"wouldn't think I'm an idiot. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1392.66,"endTime":1395.45,"body":"he thought I was an idiot. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1395.45,"endTime":1398.51,"body":"that hurt my feelings. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1395.45,"endTime":1398.51,"body":"that's really what it boiled"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1398.51,"endTime":1401.9,"body":"down to. My ego was hurt. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1398.51,"endTime":1401.9,"body":"because someone didn't like me."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1402.32,"endTime":1405.11,"body":"So I explore that further. Well,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1402.32,"endTime":1405.11,"body":"why do I get bothered when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1405.11,"endTime":1408.8,"body":"someone doesn't like me? That's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1405.11,"endTime":1408.8,"body":"an insecurity that I have. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1408.8,"endTime":1411.98,"body":"I allowed him to hurt me. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1408.8,"endTime":1411.98,"body":"him honking. He's just honking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1412.01,"endTime":1414.68,"body":"right? He's just doing it. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1412.01,"endTime":1414.68,"body":"wasn't doing it do me probably"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1414.68,"endTime":1417.38,"body":"got over it within a second. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1414.68,"endTime":1417.38,"body":"then I also think it from a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1417.38,"endTime":1419.57,"body":"compassionate standpoint, what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1417.38,"endTime":1419.57,"body":"could someone else be going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1419.57,"endTime":1423.74,"body":"through in their day to cause"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1419.57,"endTime":1423.74,"body":"that, that I had nothing to do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1423.74,"endTime":1426.5,"body":"with? It wasn't my fault. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1423.74,"endTime":1426.5,"body":"didn't cause it right. Um, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1426.5,"endTime":1429.56,"body":"just caught them at the wrong"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1426.5,"endTime":1429.56,"body":"time. There's no telling. But I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1429.56,"endTime":1433.25,"body":"was reading in that same article"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1429.56,"endTime":1433.25,"body":"I was reading. There's this,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1433.4,"endTime":1438.98,"body":"this acronym that I use a lot is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1433.4,"endTime":1438.98,"body":"q tip. Quit taking it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1439.01,"endTime":1442.88,"body":"personally. When someone says"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1439.01,"endTime":1442.88,"body":"something on Facebook that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1442.88,"endTime":1446.03,"body":"disagrees with your political"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1442.88,"endTime":1446.03,"body":"perspective, or how you feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1446.03,"endTime":1449.84,"body":"about any given issue, that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1446.03,"endTime":1449.84,"body":"just their opinion. They're not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1449.84,"endTime":1453.95,"body":"doing it to you. Yeah. And it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1449.84,"endTime":1453.95,"body":"not for me anyway, I won't speak"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1453.95,"endTime":1456.29,"body":"for everyone. But for me, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1453.95,"endTime":1456.29,"body":"not my job to make sure that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1456.29,"endTime":1459.47,"body":"everyone feels the same way I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1456.29,"endTime":1459.47,"body":"feel. We live in a world with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1459.47,"endTime":1462.59,"body":"people that have a multitude of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1459.47,"endTime":1462.59,"body":"opinions and thoughts about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1462.59,"endTime":1465.29,"body":"things. And it's unrealistic to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1462.59,"endTime":1465.29,"body":"think that everyone's going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1465.29,"endTime":1470.12,"body":"think just like I do, and I know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1465.29,"endTime":1470.12,"body":"plenty of people and they live"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1470.12,"endTime":1473.18,"body":"off this stuff like fuel. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1470.12,"endTime":1473.18,"body":"like, man, everyone's just an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1473.21,"endTime":1476.87,"body":"idiot. Everyone's an idiot. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1473.21,"endTime":1476.87,"body":"they it's like it they get they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1476.87,"endTime":1479.09,"body":"get the rocks off on that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1476.87,"endTime":1479.09,"body":"thinking that everyone's just a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1479.09,"endTime":1481.52,"body":"dummy. And if they thought like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1479.09,"endTime":1481.52,"body":"them, the world would be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1481.52,"endTime":1484.46,"body":"perfect. Yeah. And they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1481.52,"endTime":1484.46,"body":"triggered constantly because of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1484.46,"endTime":1490.49,"body":"it. Yeah, everything triggers"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1484.46,"endTime":1490.49,"body":"them. When it comes to triggers,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1490.49,"endTime":1495.29,"body":"we mentioned it earlier. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1490.49,"endTime":1495.29,"body":"this disproportionate reaction"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1495.29,"endTime":1499.49,"body":"to present events. So you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1495.29,"endTime":1499.49,"body":"mentioned it earlier being"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1499.49,"endTime":1503.9,"body":"present. was a big part of how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1499.49,"endTime":1503.9,"body":"you fixed triggers. How do you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1503.9,"endTime":1506.51,"body":"get present? How the hell do you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1503.9,"endTime":1506.51,"body":"get present when you feel like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1506.51,"endTime":1507.83,"body":"the world spinning out of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1506.51,"endTime":1507.83,"body":"control,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1507.86,"endTime":1510.98,"body":"breathing, breathing for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1507.86,"endTime":1510.98,"body":"you? Yes, I do a breathing"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1510.98,"endTime":1514.58,"body":"exercise. And it takes practice."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1510.98,"endTime":1514.58,"body":"And it doesn't always work, but"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1514.58,"endTime":1518.84,"body":"it's something that I have to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1514.58,"endTime":1518.84,"body":"think about is to do the breathe"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1518.84,"endTime":1521.81,"body":"in and then breathe out. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1518.84,"endTime":1521.81,"body":"that takes you just to your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1521.81,"endTime":1525.68,"body":"breath and not what's going out,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1521.81,"endTime":1525.68,"body":"going on outside of whatever's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1525.68,"endTime":1531.56,"body":"happening. And also, I was told"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1525.68,"endTime":1531.56,"body":"to have a safe word for myself"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1531.56,"endTime":1534.44,"body":"that would remind me to stay"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1531.56,"endTime":1534.44,"body":"present or to remind me that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1534.44,"endTime":1535.79,"body":"this is not reality. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1535.79,"endTime":1537.62,"body":"when the world feels out"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1535.79,"endTime":1537.62,"body":"of control, and you feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1537.62,"endTime":1540.68,"body":"triggered, you feel that feeling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1537.62,"endTime":1540.68,"body":"in your stomach, you would say"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1540.68,"endTime":1544.22,"body":"you would you would just whisper"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1540.68,"endTime":1544.22,"body":"your safe word to yourself, in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1544.22,"endTime":1548.03,"body":"my head in my head. And that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1544.22,"endTime":1548.03,"body":"would remind you, I am safe."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1548.06,"endTime":1550.79,"body":"Yes, everything is okay. Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1548.06,"endTime":1550.79,"body":"am safe. Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1550.79,"endTime":1555.56,"body":"then I when I don't react"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1550.79,"endTime":1555.56,"body":"to it is when I know that I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1555.59,"endTime":1558.71,"body":"practicing. Because there are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1555.59,"endTime":1558.71,"body":"times when I really want to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1558.71,"endTime":1562.07,"body":"react to something. But I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1558.71,"endTime":1562.07,"body":"stopped myself. And I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1562.07,"endTime":1565.19,"body":"Okay, I'm not going to react to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1562.07,"endTime":1565.19,"body":"this, because it's not going to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1565.19,"endTime":1567.62,"body":"get me anywhere. And that's not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1565.19,"endTime":1567.62,"body":"the reality of the situation"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1567.62,"endTime":1570.74,"body":"right now. And it's not worth"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1567.62,"endTime":1570.74,"body":"it. So just shut your mouth and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1570.74,"endTime":1573.38,"body":"move on. And it usually works. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1570.74,"endTime":1573.38,"body":"do something"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1573.38,"endTime":1575.84,"body":"really similar. I love the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1573.38,"endTime":1575.84,"body":"breathing one, I should try to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1575.84,"endTime":1579.44,"body":"incorporate things that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1575.84,"endTime":1579.44,"body":"incorporate that sometime. I do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1579.44,"endTime":1584.48,"body":"this mental imagery, where, in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1579.44,"endTime":1584.48,"body":"my mind, I put myself in a movie"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1584.48,"endTime":1587.66,"body":"theater in a movie theater that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1584.48,"endTime":1587.66,"body":"only I am in. I'm sitting in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1587.66,"endTime":1591.2,"body":"theater, and I'm watching a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1587.66,"endTime":1591.2,"body":"movie. And the movie is me in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1591.2,"endTime":1595.55,"body":"that moment. And I'm watching"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1591.2,"endTime":1595.55,"body":"myself from an outsider's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1595.55,"endTime":1599.03,"body":"perspective about what's really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1595.55,"endTime":1599.03,"body":"going on. Yeah. And it gives me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1599.06,"endTime":1602.03,"body":"a sense of perception and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1599.06,"endTime":1602.03,"body":"reality of what's really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1602.03,"endTime":1606.47,"body":"happening. As oppose, as opposed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1602.03,"endTime":1606.47,"body":"to what I'm feeling, which is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1606.65,"endTime":1611.0,"body":"often not reality. My feelings"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1606.65,"endTime":1611.0,"body":"say, You're in danger. My"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1611.0,"endTime":1614.3,"body":"feelings say, This person just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1611.0,"endTime":1614.3,"body":"cuts you down. There's my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1614.3,"endTime":1617.87,"body":"feeling say they're laughing at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1614.3,"endTime":1617.87,"body":"you. But in reality, I can look"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1617.9,"endTime":1621.17,"body":"at it and say it's not that so I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1617.9,"endTime":1621.17,"body":"put myself sort of outside of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1621.17,"endTime":1623.84,"body":"myself and I can I think of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1621.17,"endTime":1623.84,"body":"myself in a movie theater,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1623.87,"endTime":1627.59,"body":"watching watching a film. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1623.87,"endTime":1627.59,"body":"watching my life. And what's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1627.59,"endTime":1630.68,"body":"really happening here. And it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1627.59,"endTime":1630.68,"body":"helps me gain perspective and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1630.68,"endTime":1633.95,"body":"stay present in that moment."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1630.68,"endTime":1633.95,"body":"Yes. So breathing, play that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1633.95,"endTime":1635.72,"body":"play the tape. Yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1633.95,"endTime":1635.72,"body":"yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1635.75,"endTime":1637.61,"body":"no, that's great. I love"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1635.75,"endTime":1637.61,"body":"that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1638.57,"endTime":1643.61,"body":"Alright, so steps to heal."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1638.57,"endTime":1643.61,"body":"What's the what's what's the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1643.61,"endTime":1646.22,"body":"last piece of this thing? Once"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1643.61,"endTime":1646.22,"body":"you reintroduce yourself to the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1646.22,"endTime":1650.66,"body":"world? In learning how to cope"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1646.22,"endTime":1650.66,"body":"with this differently, what was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1650.66,"endTime":1655.1,"body":"your experience? And how long"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1650.66,"endTime":1655.1,"body":"did it take for you to not get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1655.1,"endTime":1656.81,"body":"triggered by things used to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1655.1,"endTime":1656.81,"body":"triggered by?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1656.99,"endTime":1659.18,"body":"Well, I mean, I still get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1656.99,"endTime":1659.18,"body":"triggered by some things. But"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1660.08,"endTime":1663.05,"body":"it's gotten better. It really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1660.08,"endTime":1663.05,"body":"started to get better. When I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1663.05,"endTime":1665.96,"body":"built my confidence up when I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1663.05,"endTime":1665.96,"body":"started working on my health."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1665.99,"endTime":1669.29,"body":"Glad you said that, and my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1665.99,"endTime":1669.29,"body":"physical health, because I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1669.29,"endTime":1672.98,"body":"couldn't really work on my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1669.29,"endTime":1672.98,"body":"physical health until I got my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1672.98,"endTime":1676.04,"body":"mental health, right. That was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1672.98,"endTime":1676.04,"body":"the big piece that clicked."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1676.04,"endTime":1681.35,"body":"That's why the physical part"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1676.04,"endTime":1681.35,"body":"worked this time. But having"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1681.35,"endTime":1685.79,"body":"that confidence, and doing the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1681.35,"endTime":1685.79,"body":"hard things helped me realize"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1685.79,"endTime":1688.76,"body":"that I can cope with this stuff"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1685.79,"endTime":1688.76,"body":"so much better. I don't I don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1688.76,"endTime":1692.63,"body":"know if it's science, like we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1688.76,"endTime":1692.63,"body":"were talking about a car. Like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1692.63,"endTime":1696.08,"body":"there's got to be some type of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1692.63,"endTime":1696.08,"body":"science with your body and how"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1696.32,"endTime":1699.41,"body":"you put all of your energy"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1696.32,"endTime":1699.41,"body":"towards a workout. Instead of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1699.41,"endTime":1702.23,"body":"all these triggers, you put your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1699.41,"endTime":1702.23,"body":"energy towards taking care of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1702.23,"endTime":1705.74,"body":"yourself, and becoming a better"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1702.23,"endTime":1705.74,"body":"version of yourself that you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1705.74,"endTime":1709.52,"body":"don't have the time or the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1705.74,"endTime":1709.52,"body":"energy to put it towards those"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1709.7,"endTime":1710.63,"body":"triggers."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1710.99,"endTime":1714.08,"body":"You go from this place of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1710.99,"endTime":1714.08,"body":"feeling like everyone's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1714.08,"endTime":1718.19,"body":"triggering you to go into then a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1714.08,"endTime":1718.19,"body":"place of I have to give you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1718.19,"endTime":1721.7,"body":"permission to trigger me now."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1718.19,"endTime":1721.7,"body":"Yes, that right? There you go."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1721.73,"endTime":1724.16,"body":"You build that with self esteem."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1721.73,"endTime":1724.16,"body":"A lot of this stuff is self"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1724.16,"endTime":1730.19,"body":"esteem, like, I've heard it put"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1724.16,"endTime":1730.19,"body":"that you can't hurt my feelings"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1730.19,"endTime":1732.56,"body":"with anything that I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1730.19,"endTime":1732.56,"body":"already believe to be true,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1732.59,"endTime":1735.65,"body":"right? And those are my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1732.59,"endTime":1735.65,"body":"insecurities. And I know about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1735.65,"endTime":1738.53,"body":"those. So when you say those"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1735.65,"endTime":1738.53,"body":"things, it's really not hurting"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1738.53,"endTime":1740.84,"body":"my feelings. Like yeah, I know."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1738.53,"endTime":1740.84,"body":"But a lot of the things that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1740.84,"endTime":1744.74,"body":"hear they're just not true."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1740.84,"endTime":1744.74,"body":"Yeah. So you can't tell me. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1744.74,"endTime":1746.75,"body":"have ugly shoes, because I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1747.23,"endTime":1749.78,"body":"sell your shoes. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1747.23,"endTime":1749.78,"body":"don't know what you're talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1749.78,"endTime":1750.83,"body":"about. Like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1750.89,"endTime":1753.5,"body":"you can't say things about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1750.89,"endTime":1753.5,"body":"me or to me that are going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1753.5,"endTime":1755.87,"body":"hurt my feelings because I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1753.5,"endTime":1755.87,"body":"believe those to be true."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1755.9,"endTime":1758.36,"body":"Because you're confident it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1755.9,"endTime":1758.36,"body":"because of confidence and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1758.36,"endTime":1763.01,"body":"competence comes getting fit"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1758.36,"endTime":1763.01,"body":"does build confidence. And it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1763.01,"endTime":1766.22,"body":"not about the mirror. The mirror"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1763.01,"endTime":1766.22,"body":"No, no, it's about what's in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1766.22,"endTime":1770.09,"body":"your brain. It's about biology,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1766.22,"endTime":1770.09,"body":"overcoming challenges and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1770.09,"endTime":1773.09,"body":"overcoming adversity, that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1770.09,"endTime":1773.09,"body":"builds competence. Exactly. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1773.12,"endTime":1775.85,"body":"don't have to do it necessarily"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1773.12,"endTime":1775.85,"body":"in the gym. You could do this."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1776.06,"endTime":1779.09,"body":"In the boardroom, you could do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1776.06,"endTime":1779.09,"body":"this. You could do this at home"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1779.09,"endTime":1781.82,"body":"with your children, you could do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1779.09,"endTime":1781.82,"body":"this anywhere. Anytime that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1781.82,"endTime":1784.58,"body":"you're putting yourself into a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1781.82,"endTime":1784.58,"body":"difficult situation, and you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1784.58,"endTime":1787.76,"body":"coming out on top. That's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1784.58,"endTime":1787.76,"body":"victory and it's a victory for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1787.76,"endTime":1790.76,"body":"your self esteem. You get better"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1787.76,"endTime":1790.76,"body":"every time you do stuff like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1790.76,"endTime":1793.19,"body":"that. Yeah, that's why we're so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1790.76,"endTime":1793.19,"body":"big on challenge yourself."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1793.19,"endTime":1796.07,"body":"Challenge yourself do hard"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1793.19,"endTime":1796.07,"body":"things. Yes. Do what's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1796.07,"endTime":1799.34,"body":"difficult, you know, lean into"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1796.07,"endTime":1799.34,"body":"adversity lean into this stuff."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1799.37,"endTime":1801.89,"body":"Yeah, because Once you do, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1799.37,"endTime":1801.89,"body":"you come out the other side of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1801.89,"endTime":1804.2,"body":"it, you're gonna have a newfound"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1801.89,"endTime":1804.2,"body":"confidence that I can handle"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1804.26,"endTime":1807.41,"body":"anything. Yeah. And then these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1804.26,"endTime":1807.41,"body":"triggers don't seem so scary"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1807.41,"endTime":1807.95,"body":"anymore."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1808.13,"endTime":1811.43,"body":"Right? And that just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1808.13,"endTime":1811.43,"body":"reminded me to have one thing"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1811.43,"endTime":1816.5,"body":"that I do in my head whenever."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1811.43,"endTime":1816.5,"body":"It's, it's, there's a trigger,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1816.5,"endTime":1820.37,"body":"and I asked myself, is this"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1816.5,"endTime":1820.37,"body":"going to kill you? Like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1820.4,"endTime":1823.82,"body":"whatever's happening? Is it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1820.4,"endTime":1823.82,"body":"going to kill you? Like, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1824.33,"endTime":1827.03,"body":"dang, no, it's not. It just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1824.33,"endTime":1827.03,"body":"makes me uncomfortable. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1827.03,"endTime":1828.83,"body":"just like working out eating"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1827.03,"endTime":1828.83,"body":"healthy and doing all these"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1828.83,"endTime":1832.64,"body":"things that are uncomfortable."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1828.83,"endTime":1832.64,"body":"No, it's not gonna kill me."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1832.669,"endTime":1836.119,"body":"Yeah. temporary"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1832.669,"endTime":1836.119,"body":"discomfort. Life is a series of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1836.119,"endTime":1841.099,"body":"temporary pleasure and temporary"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1836.119,"endTime":1841.099,"body":"discomfort. We go through phases"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1841.099,"endTime":1843.979,"body":"of pleasure and discomfort over"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1841.099,"endTime":1843.979,"body":"and over. And you mentioned"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1843.979,"endTime":1846.439,"body":"earlier, you don't know what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1843.979,"endTime":1846.439,"body":"peace and serenity feels like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1846.439,"endTime":1849.559,"body":"until you know what turmoil"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1846.439,"endTime":1849.559,"body":"feels like. One and the other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1849.559,"endTime":1853.339,"body":"yin and yang, but they have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1849.559,"endTime":1853.339,"body":"exist. It can't just always be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1853.369,"endTime":1856.369,"body":"good, good, good. So when we try"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1853.369,"endTime":1856.369,"body":"to run from our triggers, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1856.369,"endTime":1860.569,"body":"create this, this false sense"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1856.369,"endTime":1860.569,"body":"of, of peace in this false world"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1860.569,"endTime":1865.279,"body":"that is catered to how we feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1860.569,"endTime":1865.279,"body":"in that moment, we're not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1865.279,"endTime":1867.649,"body":"actually fixing anything,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1865.279,"endTime":1867.649,"body":"although temporarily, you may"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1867.649,"endTime":1871.549,"body":"feel okay. You're not really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1867.649,"endTime":1871.549,"body":"ever dealing with the issue. No,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1871.549,"endTime":1874.459,"body":"and it'll get worse. It will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1871.549,"endTime":1874.459,"body":"over time. You, you let these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1874.459,"endTime":1877.069,"body":"things stack up and you and they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1874.459,"endTime":1877.069,"body":"get worse and worse and worse."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1877.069,"endTime":1880.009,"body":"Yes, it's like sweeping it under"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1877.069,"endTime":1880.009,"body":"the rug. And we've already"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1880.009,"endTime":1883.459,"body":"mentioned that once but you said"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1880.009,"endTime":1883.459,"body":"it to like, you still get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1883.459,"endTime":1885.919,"body":"triggered there's still some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1883.459,"endTime":1885.919,"body":"things that trigger you. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1885.919,"endTime":1887.689,"body":"the guy that haunted me hurt my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1885.919,"endTime":1887.689,"body":"feelings of the day."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1887.899,"endTime":1890.179,"body":"You know, like so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1887.899,"endTime":1890.179,"body":"weird, but it's so funny what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1890.179,"endTime":1891.319,"body":"happens to you, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1891.35,"endTime":1897.95,"body":"I'm I am famous, and in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1891.35,"endTime":1897.95,"body":"our circle for saying like, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1897.95,"endTime":1900.86,"body":"rent is so expensive in my head."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1897.95,"endTime":1900.86,"body":"You can't afford it. Don't even"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1900.86,"endTime":1903.29,"body":"try it. You can't afford to live"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1900.86,"endTime":1903.29,"body":"here. And this guy honked and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1903.29,"endTime":1906.8,"body":"got in. Yeah, like I still I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1903.29,"endTime":1906.8,"body":"think I'm once you think you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1906.8,"endTime":1908.93,"body":"bulletproof. You're not, there's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1906.8,"endTime":1908.93,"body":"still some stuff I need to work"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1908.93,"endTime":1910.49,"body":"on. I need to work through"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1908.93,"endTime":1910.49,"body":"something have"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1910.52,"endTime":1913.82,"body":"awareness though. The"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1910.52,"endTime":1913.82,"body":"goal is to have awareness and to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1913.82,"endTime":1917.63,"body":"look at reality, and try to grow"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1913.82,"endTime":1917.63,"body":"from the discomfort that you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1917.63,"endTime":1918.26,"body":"feeling."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1918.38,"endTime":1922.64,"body":"Yeah. So identify these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1918.38,"endTime":1922.64,"body":"things. And don't judge yourself"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1922.64,"endTime":1926.87,"body":"because you have them. No. Okay."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1922.64,"endTime":1926.87,"body":"Like they're it's trauma. It's,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1927.08,"endTime":1931.16,"body":"it's a wound. How would you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1927.08,"endTime":1931.16,"body":"treat a sick friend that was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1931.16,"endTime":1933.14,"body":"going through something like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1931.16,"endTime":1933.14,"body":"this, you wouldn't berate them"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1933.14,"endTime":1935.63,"body":"and tell them that they're weak"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1933.14,"endTime":1935.63,"body":"and that they they get they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1935.63,"endTime":1939.56,"body":"too sensitive? Right? You would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1935.63,"endTime":1939.56,"body":"treat yourself the same way."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1939.59,"endTime":1942.17,"body":"Yeah. So as these things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1939.59,"endTime":1942.17,"body":"continue to come up, look at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1942.17,"endTime":1944.57,"body":"them as opportunities to grow,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1942.17,"endTime":1944.57,"body":"look at these things as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1944.57,"endTime":1948.41,"body":"opportunities to say, thank you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1944.57,"endTime":1948.41,"body":"for triggering me, because now I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1948.41,"endTime":1952.07,"body":"know what I need to work on."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1948.41,"endTime":1952.07,"body":"Yes, exactly. As opposed to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1952.43,"endTime":1955.76,"body":"running and running and hiding"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1952.43,"endTime":1955.76,"body":"mad. And it doesn't mean you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1955.76,"endTime":1957.83,"body":"not going to react, it doesn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1955.76,"endTime":1957.83,"body":"mean you're not going to feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1957.83,"endTime":1960.2,"body":"anxiety, it doesn't mean that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1957.83,"endTime":1960.2,"body":"everything's gonna be perfect."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1960.2,"endTime":1962.9,"body":"Yeah. But once you know what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1960.2,"endTime":1962.9,"body":"your triggers are, you identify"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1962.9,"endTime":1966.32,"body":"them, and you start to work on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1962.9,"endTime":1966.32,"body":"that piece of yourself. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1966.32,"endTime":1970.07,"body":"build a self esteem to go along"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1966.32,"endTime":1970.07,"body":"with it. These things don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1970.07,"endTime":1973.07,"body":"affect you as much as they used"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1970.07,"endTime":1973.07,"body":"to. Right. New triggers will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1973.07,"endTime":1977.12,"body":"come up though. New things will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1973.07,"endTime":1977.12,"body":"happen. It is a bring it. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1977.15,"endTime":1980.18,"body":"bring it it's a it's a process"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1977.15,"endTime":1980.18,"body":"that we work for the rest of our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1980.18,"endTime":1983.81,"body":"lives. So for me, I meditate I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1980.18,"endTime":1983.81,"body":"eat right, yes, meditate"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1983.81,"endTime":1989.78,"body":"exercise. I read, I listened to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1983.81,"endTime":1989.78,"body":"tons of different podcasts and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1989.78,"endTime":1992.66,"body":"authors and books and things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1989.78,"endTime":1992.66,"body":"like that. And I'm addicted to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1992.66,"endTime":1995.75,"body":"getting better now addicted to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1992.66,"endTime":1995.75,"body":"working on myself and like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1995.75,"endTime":1999.08,"body":"mastering my mind staying"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1995.75,"endTime":1999.08,"body":"present to and that's the goal,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1999.08,"endTime":2000.94,"body":"even though I know I'm never"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1999.08,"endTime":2000.94,"body":"gonna get there. It's a really,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2000.94,"endTime":2003.67,"body":"really fun experience and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2000.94,"endTime":2003.67,"body":"process to watch yourself grow"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2003.67,"endTime":2006.34,"body":"and to get better and know that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2003.67,"endTime":2006.34,"body":"you're not going to fly off the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2006.34,"endTime":2009.85,"body":"handle any little thing. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2006.34,"endTime":2009.85,"body":"like even at work. I've fixed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2009.85,"endTime":2012.46,"body":"that piece that I thought was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2009.85,"endTime":2012.46,"body":"never going to get fixed. But I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2012.46,"endTime":2015.46,"body":"was just going to be miserable"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2012.46,"endTime":2015.46,"body":"at work forever. But I it was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2015.46,"endTime":2017.86,"body":"just a matter of changing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2015.46,"endTime":2017.86,"body":"expectations. Now when I go into"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2017.86,"endTime":2022.63,"body":"the office, I expect nothing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2017.86,"endTime":2022.63,"body":"less than insanity to ensue."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2022.66,"endTime":2026.08,"body":"Yeah. And I embrace it. I lean"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2022.66,"endTime":2026.08,"body":"into it. And I say, okay, how am"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2026.08,"endTime":2028.09,"body":"I going to how am I going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2026.08,"endTime":2028.09,"body":"solve this challenge today?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2028.12,"endTime":2030.25,"body":"Yeah, it's a guarantee. Every"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2028.12,"endTime":2030.25,"body":"day I walk into work, something"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2030.25,"endTime":2032.68,"body":"weird is going to happen that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2030.25,"endTime":2032.68,"body":"going to that used to just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2032.68,"endTime":2034.84,"body":"derail me and the rest of the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2032.68,"endTime":2034.84,"body":"day, my day is ruined."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2034.87,"endTime":2036.76,"body":"I just like whenever I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2034.87,"endTime":2036.76,"body":"get on social media, it's the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2036.76,"endTime":2038.59,"body":"same thing. I do the same thing,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2038.65,"endTime":2041.5,"body":"some deep breaths, putting"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2038.65,"endTime":2041.5,"body":"myself in a position where I can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2041.5,"endTime":2045.1,"body":"see my movie, watch myself and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2041.5,"endTime":2045.1,"body":"see that this is just another"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2045.1,"endTime":2049.24,"body":"day. And it's okay. And I love"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2045.1,"endTime":2049.24,"body":"the term you mentioned I am"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2049.24,"endTime":2053.71,"body":"safe, close your eyes and say I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2049.24,"endTime":2053.71,"body":"am safe. Yes. When we're when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2053.71,"endTime":2057.01,"body":"our eyes are closed, we're at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2053.71,"endTime":2057.01,"body":"our most vulnerable, you are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2057.01,"endTime":2061.21,"body":"completely exposed to the world."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2057.01,"endTime":2061.21,"body":"So to close your eyes and softly"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2061.21,"endTime":2065.71,"body":"say to yourself, I am safe. I am"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2061.21,"endTime":2065.71,"body":"safe. It will make you feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2065.71,"endTime":2068.74,"body":"better, you will start to feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2065.71,"endTime":2068.74,"body":"comforted. You'll start to feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2069.01,"endTime":2073.18,"body":"I am safe. Everything is okay."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2069.01,"endTime":2073.18,"body":"These feelings I have inside of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2073.18,"endTime":2079.24,"body":"me. They may be uncomfortable,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2073.18,"endTime":2079.24,"body":"but they're it's a it's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2079.24,"endTime":2081.97,"body":"haywire fight or flight"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2079.24,"endTime":2081.97,"body":"response. That's all it is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2082.0,"endTime":2084.13,"body":"exactly. And we can get these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2082.0,"endTime":2084.13,"body":"things under control with some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2084.13,"endTime":2087.13,"body":"effort and some work working on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2084.13,"endTime":2087.13,"body":"ourselves and the desire to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2087.13,"endTime":2092.14,"body":"better. But I do love that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2087.13,"endTime":2092.14,"body":"are okay with saying I need"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2092.14,"endTime":2094.45,"body":"boundaries for a while. So if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2092.14,"endTime":2094.45,"body":"you have to step away from the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2094.45,"endTime":2096.97,"body":"person if you have to step away"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2094.45,"endTime":2096.97,"body":"from social media if you have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2096.97,"endTime":2101.5,"body":"step away from a job or whatever"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2096.97,"endTime":2101.5,"body":"it may be Throw while while"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2101.53,"endTime":2102.4,"body":"you're worth it,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2102.49,"endTime":2105.43,"body":"you're worth it. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2102.49,"endTime":2105.43,"body":"But just make sure you can get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2105.43,"endTime":2106.21,"body":"back in there. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2106.24,"endTime":2108.37,"body":"don't run away with the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2106.24,"endTime":2108.37,"body":"goal. You're never coming back,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2108.4,"endTime":2110.2,"body":"run away with the goal that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2108.4,"endTime":2110.2,"body":"you're coming back pounding your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2110.2,"endTime":2114.13,"body":"chest saying Bring it. Bring it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2110.2,"endTime":2114.13,"body":"on, man, what you got next?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2114.31,"endTime":2117.07,"body":"Yeah, I think that about covers"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2114.31,"endTime":2117.07,"body":"it. What do you got anything"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2117.07,"endTime":2119.71,"body":"else? Yeah, I think we covered"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2117.07,"endTime":2119.71,"body":"it. We're good. Okay, awesome."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2119.71,"endTime":2123.25,"body":"Well, we hope that that that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2119.71,"endTime":2123.25,"body":"the listener got something out"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2123.25,"endTime":2126.61,"body":"of this. And that the next time"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2123.25,"endTime":2126.61,"body":"you are triggered that you can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2126.61,"endTime":2129.25,"body":"use some of these tools to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2126.61,"endTime":2129.25,"body":"out of it. And you can use some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2129.25,"endTime":2132.25,"body":"of these tools to continue to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2129.25,"endTime":2132.25,"body":"grow and to get better. For"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2132.25,"endTime":2134.74,"body":"those of you that haven't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2132.25,"endTime":2134.74,"body":"already done it. We do have a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2134.74,"endTime":2137.35,"body":"YouTube channel that is up and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2134.74,"endTime":2137.35,"body":"running, please head over there."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2137.35,"endTime":2141.91,"body":"If you want to watch us talk."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2137.35,"endTime":2141.91,"body":"And subscribe. If you haven't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2141.91,"endTime":2144.7,"body":"already, as well on the podcast"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2141.91,"endTime":2144.7,"body":"that helps us more than you'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2144.7,"endTime":2149.74,"body":"ever know. Please follow. Please"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2144.7,"endTime":2149.74,"body":"follow leave us a review. Share"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2149.74,"endTime":2153.07,"body":"it with your friends, help us"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2149.74,"endTime":2153.07,"body":"grow. The more we grow, the more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2153.07,"endTime":2155.92,"body":"people we can help. At the end"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2153.07,"endTime":2155.92,"body":"of the day. That's the mission"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2155.92,"endTime":2158.62,"body":"here. Yep. But if people don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2155.92,"endTime":2158.62,"body":"know they don't know. I know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2158.62,"endTime":2161.17,"body":"some people feel really cheesy"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2158.62,"endTime":2161.17,"body":"sharing stuff like this and they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2161.17,"endTime":2164.8,"body":"don't they think it's corny or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2161.17,"endTime":2164.8,"body":"whatever. Whatever. If it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2164.8,"endTime":2168.01,"body":"helping you it could be helping"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2164.8,"endTime":2168.01,"body":"someone else too. And we're the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2168.01,"endTime":2170.62,"body":"ones who decided to sit up here"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2168.01,"endTime":2170.62,"body":"and you know bear our soul"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2170.62,"endTime":2172.45,"body":"because it could help someone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2170.62,"endTime":2172.45,"body":"the least you could do is you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2172.45,"endTime":2176.41,"body":"know help someone as well. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2172.45,"endTime":2176.41,"body":"So you can check us out on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2176.41,"endTime":2180.13,"body":"Instagram at to pho underscore"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2176.41,"endTime":2180.13,"body":"couple it's TW fo underscore"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2180.13,"endTime":2183.34,"body":"couple. You can check us out on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2180.13,"endTime":2183.34,"body":"Facebook at Tufo couple you can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2183.34,"endTime":2186.61,"body":"check us out on Tik Tok at Tufo"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2183.34,"endTime":2186.61,"body":"underscore Kabul speaking of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2186.67,"endTime":2190.12,"body":"getting triggered trigger"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2186.67,"endTime":2190.12,"body":"central in that place if you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2190.12,"endTime":2197.71,"body":"not careful. And our website at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2190.12,"endTime":2197.71,"body":"WWW dot Tufo couple.com I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2197.71,"endTime":2199.96,"body":"that's all we've got. Thank you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2197.71,"endTime":2199.96,"body":"all for being here. And until"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2199.96,"endTime":2203.08,"body":"next time, I am Matt and we'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2199.96,"endTime":2203.08,"body":"see you"}]}