{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.24,"body":"Oh, man, that little"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.24,"body":"voice, God so I've got like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":4.05,"endTime":7.47,"body":"I've got 1000 voices in my head."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":4.05,"endTime":7.47,"body":"But the most important one is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":7.47,"endTime":9.9,"body":"the most quiet. I don't know why"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":7.47,"endTime":9.9,"body":"that is why is he gotta be the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":9.9,"endTime":13.44,"body":"most quiet now. That little dude"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":9.9,"endTime":13.44,"body":"needs to speak up more. Because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":13.44,"endTime":17.94,"body":"I when I listened to it, great"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":13.44,"endTime":17.94,"body":"things happen. But the other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":17.94,"endTime":20.31,"body":"ones are so much louder, so much"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":17.94,"endTime":20.31,"body":"more like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":21.33,"endTime":23.04,"body":"seductive they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":21.33,"endTime":23.04,"body":"easier to listen to."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":25.11,"endTime":27.18,"body":"Little quiet ones tougher, right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":32.25,"endTime":37.41,"body":"welcome back. Well come back to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":32.25,"endTime":37.41,"body":"another episode of till the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":37.41,"endTime":40.53,"body":"wheels fall off. I'm Matt. I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":37.41,"endTime":40.53,"body":"paying you have to quit laughing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":40.53,"endTime":43.11,"body":"when I'm doing that. No, hold"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":40.53,"endTime":43.11,"body":"on. Whenever you did that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":43.11,"endTime":46.26,"body":"something buzzy came out of your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":43.11,"endTime":46.26,"body":"mouth. Something came buzzy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":47.1,"endTime":50.19,"body":"It's like a piece of something."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":47.1,"endTime":50.19,"body":"We'll take a small break and get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":50.19,"endTime":52.89,"body":"this checked out by a doctor."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":50.19,"endTime":52.89,"body":"That was wild. That's the only"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":52.89,"endTime":56.04,"body":"reason Okay, anyway. All right."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":52.89,"endTime":56.04,"body":"Happy to be back. Feels good to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":56.04,"endTime":60.69,"body":"be back in the chair. Here on a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":56.04,"endTime":60.69,"body":"what is it Monday night? I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":60.69,"endTime":64.8,"body":"so. Lost track recording. Feels"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":60.69,"endTime":64.8,"body":"good to be back. What's been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":64.8,"endTime":67.38,"body":"new? What's new in the life? How"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":64.8,"endTime":67.38,"body":"are you feeling? You sound a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":67.38,"endTime":70.11,"body":"little under the weather. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":67.38,"endTime":70.11,"body":"I feel like I've got a cold in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":70.11,"endTime":72.9,"body":"the summertime. It's a little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":70.11,"endTime":72.9,"body":"odd. You got some of that crud."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":72.93,"endTime":75.93,"body":"I guess some crud. That's the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":72.93,"endTime":75.93,"body":"worst. 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Anyway, we are just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":105.42,"endTime":109.26,"body":"fresh off of a little weekend"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":109.26,"endTime":112.44,"body":"trip we took with some friends."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":109.26,"endTime":112.44,"body":"It was awesome. Some people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":112.44,"endTime":115.05,"body":"we've known for a very long"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":112.44,"endTime":115.05,"body":"time. And we've all got kids at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":115.05,"endTime":120.24,"body":"an age now where they're not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":115.05,"endTime":120.24,"body":"like, completely. I don't want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":120.24,"endTime":122.61,"body":"to say useless isn't the right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":120.24,"endTime":122.61,"body":"word because kids are handed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":122.64,"endTime":125.19,"body":"descendants. Wow, damn."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":126.24,"endTime":129.06,"body":"That's how a father refers to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":126.24,"endTime":129.06,"body":"kids being just useless. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":129.06,"endTime":131.85,"body":"can't do anything for him. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":129.06,"endTime":131.85,"body":"it's always asking for stuff or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":131.85,"endTime":134.34,"body":"crying. There's the age now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":131.85,"endTime":134.34,"body":"where they can run around and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":134.34,"endTime":137.46,"body":"play and interact with each"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":134.34,"endTime":137.46,"body":"other like some badass memory."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":137.46,"endTime":140.25,"body":"Yeah, it was really really fun."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":137.46,"endTime":140.25,"body":"We got an awesome hike in."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":141.3,"endTime":143.49,"body":"Got some time together. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":141.3,"endTime":143.49,"body":"actually ended up raining which"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":143.49,"endTime":146.28,"body":"was kind of nice. We chilled out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":143.49,"endTime":146.28,"body":"onto the patio and listen to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":146.28,"endTime":149.4,"body":"rain pitter patter on the metal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":146.28,"endTime":149.4,"body":"roof pitter patter though it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":149.4,"endTime":150.93,"body":"greatness it was greatness man."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":153.84,"endTime":157.17,"body":"So we were talking about this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":153.84,"endTime":157.17,"body":"episode. And I was trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":157.17,"endTime":159.93,"body":"think of all these examples of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":157.17,"endTime":159.93,"body":"how this stuff is applied to my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":159.93,"endTime":163.74,"body":"life. And I just had this one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":159.93,"endTime":163.74,"body":"that came to me right as I press"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":163.74,"endTime":168.51,"body":"record. So before I tell anyone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":163.74,"endTime":168.51,"body":"we're talking about, just see if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":168.51,"endTime":172.35,"body":"you can relate to this story. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":168.51,"endTime":172.35,"body":"whenever we bought our house, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":172.35,"endTime":175.14,"body":"had very little plans on like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":172.35,"endTime":175.14,"body":"where everything would go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":175.14,"endTime":177.6,"body":"because we were moving from a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":175.14,"endTime":177.6,"body":"really small home into a much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":177.6,"endTime":181.14,"body":"bigger home. And so what we did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":177.6,"endTime":181.14,"body":"was we packed up a moving truck,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":181.14,"endTime":184.02,"body":"and we put all the boxes in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":181.14,"endTime":184.02,"body":"moving truck. And then we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":184.02,"endTime":188.04,"body":"unloaded them into the garage."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":184.02,"endTime":188.04,"body":"And then we basically unpacked"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":188.04,"endTime":191.58,"body":"what we needed for like that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":188.04,"endTime":191.58,"body":"first weekend. Like we got our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":191.58,"endTime":194.76,"body":"dishes out in the kitchen stuff"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":191.58,"endTime":194.76,"body":"and they got organized fairly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":194.76,"endTime":198.54,"body":"quickly. But you staring at me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":194.76,"endTime":198.54,"body":"I don't know where you're going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":198.54,"endTime":201.36,"body":"with this. So stick with me for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":198.54,"endTime":201.36,"body":"listening."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":203.97,"endTime":208.89,"body":"So then the mattresses came in."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":203.97,"endTime":208.89,"body":"But what happened is in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":208.89,"endTime":214.68,"body":"garage, there were just so many"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":208.89,"endTime":214.68,"body":"boxes. 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So little by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":223.62,"endTime":227.73,"body":"slowly started to move boxes in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":227.76,"endTime":231.18,"body":"but then some boxes never made"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":227.76,"endTime":231.18,"body":"it in the freaking house."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":231.51,"endTime":234.24,"body":"They're probably still boxes out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":231.51,"endTime":234.24,"body":"there to this day from whenever"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":234.24,"endTime":239.52,"body":"we moved in May V, which was a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":234.24,"endTime":239.52,"body":"decade ago. Uh huh. And what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":239.52,"endTime":244.86,"body":"happened over time was more junk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":239.52,"endTime":244.86,"body":"started to pile up. It was at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":244.86,"endTime":247.29,"body":"one point, I'm not even kidding"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":244.86,"endTime":247.29,"body":"you guys, we've been in a house"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":247.29,"endTime":251.4,"body":"for about a year, you couldn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":247.29,"endTime":251.4,"body":"even walk to the garage door"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":251.43,"endTime":255.03,"body":"from our back door. It was so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":251.43,"endTime":255.03,"body":"full of crap. There wasn't even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":255.03,"endTime":260.16,"body":"a path. 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And each time a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":274.95,"endTime":277.89,"body":"couple of more boxes get added"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":274.95,"endTime":277.89,"body":"or something else gets thrown"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":277.89,"endTime":281.43,"body":"out there a kid's toy or box of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":277.89,"endTime":281.43,"body":"blankets. You just kind of look"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":281.43,"endTime":284.79,"body":"at it like it's normal. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":281.43,"endTime":284.79,"body":"just a garage. Yeah, whatever."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":285.03,"endTime":287.52,"body":"But before you know it, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":285.03,"endTime":287.52,"body":"whole thing is overflowing to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":287.52,"endTime":289.74,"body":"the point where it is just like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":287.52,"endTime":289.74,"body":"it looks like Hoarders live"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":289.74,"endTime":292.59,"body":"here. Yeah, it's an absolute"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":289.74,"endTime":292.59,"body":"mess. And what does that do to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":292.59,"endTime":295.47,"body":"your mental health? Oh, it just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":292.59,"endTime":295.47,"body":"destroys it right? Yeah. So that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":295.47,"endTime":299.07,"body":"garage did get cleaned out but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":295.47,"endTime":299.07,"body":"not without some effort. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":299.1,"endTime":300.0,"body":"recognizing that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":300.0,"endTime":303.63,"body":"Holy crap like this is sick. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":300.0,"endTime":303.63,"body":"remember, actually one of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":303.63,"endTime":306.72,"body":"guys that we went on the trip"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":303.63,"endTime":306.72,"body":"with my good buddies, I remember"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":306.72,"endTime":309.33,"body":"opening the door to show him"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":306.72,"endTime":309.33,"body":"that he was like, let me see"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":309.33,"endTime":311.61,"body":"your garage, you know, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":309.33,"endTime":311.61,"body":"it was like a new house. He's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":311.61,"endTime":313.83,"body":"like, I'm gonna see how much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":311.61,"endTime":313.83,"body":"garage space you have. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":313.83,"endTime":318.27,"body":"opened the door and he just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":313.83,"endTime":318.27,"body":"goes, Oh, man, oh, man. Just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":318.27,"endTime":318.78,"body":"like that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":320.13,"endTime":323.22,"body":"Shaming pity, like a grandmother"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":320.13,"endTime":323.22,"body":"would show, you know, like, just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":323.22,"endTime":327.36,"body":"so disappointed gotten this way."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":323.22,"endTime":327.36,"body":"So when I think about toxic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":327.36,"endTime":331.29,"body":"situations, and our topic today,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":327.36,"endTime":331.29,"body":"that story just kind of came to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":331.29,"endTime":335.79,"body":"my mind like, you come sometimes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":331.29,"endTime":335.79,"body":"when we find ourselves in these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":335.79,"endTime":338.91,"body":"situations, we can look at our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":335.79,"endTime":338.91,"body":"lives like as they sit today and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":338.91,"endTime":344.76,"body":"be like, how the EFF did we get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":338.91,"endTime":344.76,"body":"here? But run the tape back? And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":344.76,"endTime":347.73,"body":"you'll see that didn't happen"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":344.76,"endTime":347.73,"body":"overnight. Yeah, and probably"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":347.73,"endTime":349.53,"body":"won't get fixed overnight. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":347.73,"endTime":349.53,"body":"know that we didn't clean that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":349.53,"endTime":354.45,"body":"garage out in one day. You so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":349.53,"endTime":354.45,"body":"toxic situation staying in them?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":354.45,"endTime":356.82,"body":"How did we end up there at all?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":354.45,"endTime":356.82,"body":"Because we've talked about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":356.82,"endTime":359.91,"body":"getting uncomfortable more times"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":356.82,"endTime":359.91,"body":"than I can count? Yeah, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":359.91,"endTime":363.6,"body":"benefits of doing that and how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":359.91,"endTime":363.6,"body":"it how it incites growth. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":363.6,"endTime":367.47,"body":"let's spin it the other way? Why"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":363.6,"endTime":367.47,"body":"do we get stuck in toxic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":367.47,"endTime":371.73,"body":"situations? And how do we change"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":367.47,"endTime":371.73,"body":"those situations? Why is this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":371.73,"endTime":376.44,"body":"even a thing? We have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":371.73,"endTime":376.44,"body":"experience? Being in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":376.44,"endTime":381.15,"body":"dysfunction? And we do it and we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":376.44,"endTime":381.15,"body":"live with it? Because it's just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":381.15,"endTime":385.35,"body":"familiar. Yes, the familiar for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":381.15,"endTime":385.35,"body":"no familiarity? Say it. Thank"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":385.35,"endTime":389.67,"body":"you knew I was gonna have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":385.35,"endTime":389.67,"body":"trouble with that. Familiar?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":392.64,"endTime":398.49,"body":"Okay, do it again. No, say that,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":392.64,"endTime":398.49,"body":"but keep going. And I think it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":398.49,"endTime":402.03,"body":"only natural to want to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":398.49,"endTime":402.03,"body":"things that are familiar in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":402.21,"endTime":406.08,"body":"comfort, right? And comfort is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":402.21,"endTime":406.08,"body":"relative. Like you might sleep"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":406.08,"endTime":408.33,"body":"on someone's bed and be like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":406.08,"endTime":408.33,"body":"This is the hardest piece of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":408.33,"endTime":411.33,"body":"crap I've ever laid on. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":408.33,"endTime":411.33,"body":"but to that person. It's like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":411.33,"endTime":414.87,"body":"Dude, that's my bed. I love my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":411.33,"endTime":414.87,"body":"bed. Yeah, it's familiar. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":414.87,"endTime":418.68,"body":"comfortable. They like it. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":414.87,"endTime":418.68,"body":"it's relative to each and every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":418.68,"endTime":421.95,"body":"person, it's a little bit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":418.68,"endTime":421.95,"body":"different. So as we talk about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":421.95,"endTime":426.3,"body":"this, have these examples in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":421.95,"endTime":426.3,"body":"mind, because you can look at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":426.3,"endTime":428.97,"body":"your life in a relationship that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":426.3,"endTime":428.97,"body":"you're in. And when I say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":428.97,"endTime":433.02,"body":"relationship as a huge broad"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":428.97,"endTime":433.02,"body":"term, doesn't necessarily just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":433.02,"endTime":436.2,"body":"mean your marriage, it could be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":433.02,"endTime":436.2,"body":"your job. It could be your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":436.2,"endTime":440.97,"body":"family, extended family, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":436.2,"endTime":440.97,"body":"norms and the rituals that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":440.97,"endTime":444.57,"body":"guys have. It could be a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":440.97,"endTime":444.57,"body":"religious sect or denomination"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":444.57,"endTime":447.51,"body":"that you were raised in. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":444.57,"endTime":447.51,"body":"could be anything relationships"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":447.51,"endTime":451.23,"body":"in general, right? So we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":447.51,"endTime":451.23,"body":"talking about these types of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":451.26,"endTime":454.59,"body":"dysfunctional? I think toxic is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":451.26,"endTime":454.59,"body":"kind of a harsh word, but let's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":454.59,"endTime":459.24,"body":"just call it what it is. toxic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":454.59,"endTime":459.24,"body":"situation. How do how do we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":459.24,"endTime":462.93,"body":"freakin end up here? Like, what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":459.24,"endTime":462.93,"body":"why am I stuck here? How did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":462.93,"endTime":466.05,"body":"this happen? And what are some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":462.93,"endTime":466.05,"body":"examples of these? Because I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":466.05,"endTime":469.59,"body":"just mentioned a few but run me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":466.05,"endTime":469.59,"body":"through some examples of these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":469.59,"endTime":472.59,"body":"toxic relationship type"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":469.59,"endTime":472.59,"body":"situation? Well, you just hit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":472.59,"endTime":475.8,"body":"like four of them that I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":472.59,"endTime":475.8,"body":"gonna say them from you. She's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":475.83,"endTime":478.14,"body":"rude. No, but I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":475.83,"endTime":478.14,"body":"elaborate a little bit because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":478.14,"endTime":482.01,"body":"sometimes, we don't really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":478.14,"endTime":482.01,"body":"realize we're in a dysfunctional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":482.52,"endTime":487.83,"body":"situation until we look at it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":482.52,"endTime":487.83,"body":"from a different perspective. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":487.83,"endTime":491.97,"body":"let me just give you examples."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":487.83,"endTime":491.97,"body":"First toxic relationships. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":491.97,"endTime":495.9,"body":"they can involve emotional or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":491.97,"endTime":495.9,"body":"physical abuse, manipulation, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":495.9,"endTime":500.07,"body":"constant criticism, lack of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":495.9,"endTime":500.07,"body":"respect, and an imbalance of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":500.07,"endTime":503.22,"body":"power. So one partner may exert"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":500.07,"endTime":503.22,"body":"control and undermine the other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":503.22,"endTime":506.34,"body":"self esteem and well being this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":503.22,"endTime":506.34,"body":"is often this is number one,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":506.34,"endTime":509.46,"body":"because this is often what we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":506.34,"endTime":509.46,"body":"see. When we started the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":509.46,"endTime":512.31,"body":"podcast. When we started our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":509.46,"endTime":512.31,"body":"accounts, it was like, let's put"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":512.31,"endTime":515.91,"body":"this out there. See what comes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":512.31,"endTime":515.91,"body":"back. And this is what came back"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":515.91,"endTime":519.0,"body":"more than anything, were people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":515.91,"endTime":519.0,"body":"who resonated with this message"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":519.0,"endTime":522.24,"body":"that you were giving, which is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":519.0,"endTime":522.24,"body":"this my life look like. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":522.24,"endTime":524.94,"body":"never dreamed so many people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":522.24,"endTime":524.94,"body":"would be going through the exact"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":524.94,"endTime":527.7,"body":"same thing, and be willing to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":524.94,"endTime":527.7,"body":"share it, too. This is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":527.7,"endTime":530.22,"body":"number one is toxic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":527.7,"endTime":530.22,"body":"relationships. Our relationship"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":530.22,"endTime":533.43,"body":"was toxic. Dang, really, for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":530.22,"endTime":533.43,"body":"years."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":534.66,"endTime":537.9,"body":"I'm not saying it wasn't okay. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":534.66,"endTime":537.9,"body":"mean, what do you mean, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":537.9,"endTime":541.02,"body":"don't think we had a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":537.9,"endTime":541.02,"body":"dysfunctional relationship? No,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":541.02,"endTime":543.48,"body":"it was really we're gonna unpack"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":541.02,"endTime":543.48,"body":"this right now? No, I think it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":543.48,"endTime":546.24,"body":"was really dysfunctional. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":543.48,"endTime":546.24,"body":"It's crazy about it is that in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":546.24,"endTime":548.4,"body":"the moment, it didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":546.24,"endTime":548.4,"body":"necessarily feel though, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":548.4,"endTime":551.85,"body":"that has been part of my story"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":548.4,"endTime":551.85,"body":"that I've shared multiple times"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":551.85,"endTime":555.24,"body":"is that I was comfortable in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":551.85,"endTime":555.24,"body":"that discomfort because that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":555.24,"endTime":559.11,"body":"what I knew. That's all I knew"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":555.24,"endTime":559.11,"body":"it was normal for me. I didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":559.11,"endTime":561.96,"body":"know. And that's a theme that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":559.11,"endTime":561.96,"body":"we're very dysfunctional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":561.96,"endTime":564.96,"body":"throughout the episodes as well"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":561.96,"endTime":564.96,"body":"is that you don't know what you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":564.96,"endTime":567.72,"body":"don't know. Yeah. And you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":564.96,"endTime":567.72,"body":"exactly what's normal to you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":567.72,"endTime":570.54,"body":"It's just normal to you, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":567.72,"endTime":570.54,"body":"It's not until you get we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":570.54,"endTime":574.86,"body":"gonna help you realize why. Or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":570.54,"endTime":574.86,"body":"what, you know what I'm talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":575.28,"endTime":577.35,"body":"about the most common things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":575.28,"endTime":577.35,"body":"that people and healthy work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":577.35,"endTime":581.1,"body":"environments. Yeah, man. So like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":577.35,"endTime":581.1,"body":"workplaces with high levels of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":581.1,"endTime":585.15,"body":"stress or you have lack of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":581.1,"endTime":585.15,"body":"support from colleagues or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":585.15,"endTime":589.47,"body":"supervisors, poor communication"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":585.15,"endTime":589.47,"body":"favoritism, bullying,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":589.47,"endTime":593.64,"body":"harassment, or just a toxic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":589.47,"endTime":593.64,"body":"company culture that undermines"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":593.64,"endTime":597.21,"body":"employees. You know, well being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":593.64,"endTime":597.21,"body":"I think this one is more common"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":597.21,"endTime":600.0,"body":"than it's ever been. I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":597.21,"endTime":600.0,"body":"there was a time in American"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":600.0,"endTime":602.52,"body":"culture where you just went to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":600.0,"endTime":602.52,"body":"work, you did your job, and it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":602.52,"endTime":605.67,"body":"was understood that it was a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":602.52,"endTime":605.67,"body":"transaction. And then I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":605.67,"endTime":608.61,"body":"that over time, employees"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":605.67,"endTime":608.61,"body":"started requiring more of their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":608.61,"endTime":611.88,"body":"employers and they wanted more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":608.61,"endTime":611.88,"body":"of a culture. Like the idea of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":611.88,"endTime":616.41,"body":"culture. It wasn't discussed in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":611.88,"endTime":616.41,"body":"business rooms 50 years ago,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":616.59,"endTime":618.78,"body":"like in boardrooms, they weren't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":616.59,"endTime":618.78,"body":"talking about the company's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":618.78,"endTime":623.04,"body":"culture. Like this crap was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":618.78,"endTime":623.04,"body":"just, you'd put it on a wall,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":623.04,"endTime":626.19,"body":"but no one really ever followed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":623.04,"endTime":626.19,"body":"any of it. But I can relate to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":626.19,"endTime":630.84,"body":"this one a lot. A lot like, not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":626.19,"endTime":630.84,"body":"necessarily all of the the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":630.84,"endTime":634.77,"body":"bullet points or now that you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":630.84,"endTime":634.77,"body":"just just some all or nothing a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":634.77,"endTime":639.45,"body":"really rough relationship with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":634.77,"endTime":639.45,"body":"my profession. Yeah. And you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":639.45,"endTime":641.49,"body":"look at it, you complain about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":639.45,"endTime":641.49,"body":"it, then at some point, you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":641.49,"endTime":645.66,"body":"like, What am I doing? Oh, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":641.49,"endTime":645.66,"body":"God. Yeah, just crazy. I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":645.66,"endTime":648.66,"body":"that the great resignation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":645.66,"endTime":648.66,"body":"background COVID. A lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":648.66,"endTime":651.96,"body":"people have this realization."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":648.66,"endTime":651.96,"body":"Absolutely. So very relevant to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":651.96,"endTime":655.08,"body":"the discussion. Yep. All right."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":651.96,"endTime":655.08,"body":"Another one is addictive, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":655.08,"endTime":657.93,"body":"codependent relationships are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":655.08,"endTime":657.93,"body":"jam."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":658.98,"endTime":660.87,"body":"So it's just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":658.98,"endTime":660.87,"body":"relationships that revolve"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":660.87,"endTime":664.65,"body":"around the substance abuse or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":660.87,"endTime":664.65,"body":"other addictive behaviors. This"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":664.65,"endTime":667.38,"body":"is how codependency can be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":664.65,"endTime":667.38,"body":"developed with one person"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":667.38,"endTime":669.84,"body":"enabling and supporting the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":667.38,"endTime":669.84,"body":"destructive behavior of the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":669.84,"endTime":674.25,"body":"other, which is results in a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":669.84,"endTime":674.25,"body":"cycle of dysfunction. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":674.25,"endTime":677.49,"body":"cycle of dysfunction. Yeah, we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":674.25,"endTime":677.49,"body":"talked about this on the phone"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":677.49,"endTime":680.4,"body":"on my way home, I did treatment"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":677.49,"endTime":680.4,"body":"center, I went and spoke at a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":680.4,"endTime":682.8,"body":"treatment center tonight, which"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":680.4,"endTime":682.8,"body":"is always a privilege, oh, he"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":682.8,"endTime":686.64,"body":"always comes home in a better"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":682.8,"endTime":686.64,"body":"mood. Because it's service man,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":686.64,"endTime":688.17,"body":"you're just getting out of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":686.64,"endTime":688.17,"body":"yourself. And just like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":688.17,"endTime":690.84,"body":"volunteering your time. I love"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":688.17,"endTime":690.84,"body":"it when you go feel great when I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":690.84,"endTime":693.99,"body":"come back. But we talked about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":690.84,"endTime":693.99,"body":"this this very thing. Yes."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":694.17,"endTime":698.34,"body":"Because let's say that there was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":694.17,"endTime":698.34,"body":"50 people there. 50 of them are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":698.34,"endTime":701.49,"body":"dealing with this right now."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":698.34,"endTime":701.49,"body":"Yeah, it's very, very common for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":701.49,"endTime":704.43,"body":"sure. What else? All right, we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":701.49,"endTime":704.43,"body":"got dysfunctional family"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":704.43,"endTime":708.93,"body":"dynamics. So these can manifest"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":704.43,"endTime":708.93,"body":"in various ways. So constant"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":708.93,"endTime":713.67,"body":"conflicts, emotional or physical"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":708.93,"endTime":713.67,"body":"abuse, neglect, enabling our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":713.67,"endTime":718.2,"body":"heart of of harmful, enabling,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":713.67,"endTime":718.2,"body":"harmful, or harmful enabling of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":718.23,"endTime":722.16,"body":"that's, that happens a lot with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":718.23,"endTime":722.16,"body":"parents, or unhealthy patterns"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":722.16,"endTime":724.68,"body":"of communication and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":722.16,"endTime":724.68,"body":"interaction. You know, I don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":724.68,"endTime":729.42,"body":"think there's ever been a time"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":724.68,"endTime":729.42,"body":"in our history that a generation"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":729.42,"endTime":733.8,"body":"has been questioned more about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":729.42,"endTime":733.8,"body":"their parenting tactics"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":734.97,"endTime":737.55,"body":"than is going on right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":734.97,"endTime":737.55,"body":"now. And I'm not sure if that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":737.55,"endTime":739.98,"body":"because there's a generation of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":737.55,"endTime":739.98,"body":"people that are struggling with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":739.98,"endTime":744.6,"body":"mental health in the hat, to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":739.98,"endTime":744.6,"body":"what degree that generations,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":745.41,"endTime":748.29,"body":"you know, perspective of how to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":745.41,"endTime":748.29,"body":"raise a kid plays into that, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":748.29,"endTime":751.44,"body":"if it's a mixture of that, along"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":748.29,"endTime":751.44,"body":"with social media, and just the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":751.44,"endTime":755.4,"body":"change of Yeah, natural change"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":751.44,"endTime":755.4,"body":"in generations. But this one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":755.4,"endTime":759.27,"body":"comes up all the friggin time,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":755.4,"endTime":759.27,"body":"all the time when you look at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":759.27,"endTime":762.66,"body":"your family dynamics and what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":759.27,"endTime":762.66,"body":"exists within it. And some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":762.66,"endTime":766.17,"body":"people have incredible families,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":762.66,"endTime":766.17,"body":"like they have no problems"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":766.17,"endTime":769.38,"body":"whatsoever. This doesn't relate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":766.17,"endTime":769.38,"body":"but for, I think more now than"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":769.38,"endTime":772.08,"body":"ever, maybe just you hear about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":769.38,"endTime":772.08,"body":"it more. Yeah, there are people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":772.08,"endTime":777.15,"body":"out there who are struggling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":772.08,"endTime":777.15,"body":"with with this with an in law or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":778.17,"endTime":782.1,"body":"a mother or father or extended"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":778.17,"endTime":782.1,"body":"family or grandparent or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":782.1,"endTime":785.07,"body":"something like that, that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":782.1,"endTime":785.07,"body":"just kind of stuck in their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":785.07,"endTime":789.03,"body":"ways. And they want you to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":785.07,"endTime":789.03,"body":"okay with abuse. Exactly. They"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":789.03,"endTime":790.95,"body":"want you to be cool with it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":789.03,"endTime":790.95,"body":"man. It's just the way it is."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":791.46,"endTime":791.88,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":793.14,"endTime":797.13,"body":"Okay. All right. Now you share."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":793.14,"endTime":797.13,"body":"So we're trying to think of some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":797.13,"endTime":801.0,"body":"other so I guess in the extreme"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":797.13,"endTime":801.0,"body":"version of this, you have like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":801.0,"endTime":804.03,"body":"colts, right? Yeah, I am"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":801.0,"endTime":804.03,"body":"fascinated with cold"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":804.03,"endTime":807.45,"body":"documentaries. We've been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":804.03,"endTime":807.45,"body":"watching them. I'm fascinated"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":807.45,"endTime":810.69,"body":"with them. Like, there was one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":807.45,"endTime":810.69,"body":"on Netflix recently about about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":810.69,"endTime":814.17,"body":"Waco and the Branch Davidians."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":810.69,"endTime":814.17,"body":"Now, cold, whatever you want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":814.17,"endTime":818.7,"body":"call them, religious group,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":814.17,"endTime":818.7,"body":"religious sect, whatever it was,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":818.73,"endTime":823.14,"body":"it was a cult. They had a leader"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":818.73,"endTime":823.14,"body":"David Koresh, who had convinced"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":823.17,"endTime":826.59,"body":"all these people that he was the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":823.17,"endTime":826.59,"body":"second coming and he had them"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":826.59,"endTime":828.99,"body":"captivated. And they would do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":826.59,"endTime":828.99,"body":"anything that he said they were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":828.99,"endTime":831.84,"body":"extremely loyal. And I'm always"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":828.99,"endTime":831.84,"body":"just fascinated with the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.84,"endTime":836.25,"body":"psychology of that. Oh, yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.84,"endTime":836.25,"body":"And on both sides. Yeah. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":836.31,"endTime":839.16,"body":"What takes for someone to get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":836.31,"endTime":839.16,"body":"there? And then how do you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":839.19,"endTime":842.91,"body":"deliver that message? Like the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":839.19,"endTime":842.91,"body":"leader? with a straight face?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":842.94,"endTime":847.68,"body":"Yeah. And how do people listen?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":842.94,"endTime":847.68,"body":"And yeah, but in those types of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":847.68,"endTime":850.5,"body":"situations, individuals are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":847.68,"endTime":850.5,"body":"often manipulated, and they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":850.5,"endTime":854.01,"body":"isolated from their original"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":850.5,"endTime":854.01,"body":"support networks. So it's real"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":854.01,"endTime":857.13,"body":"easy to I guess, quote, unquote,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":854.01,"endTime":857.13,"body":"brainwash them. Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":857.19,"endTime":860.73,"body":"they're subjected to various"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":857.19,"endTime":860.73,"body":"types of psychological control"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":860.76,"endTime":865.11,"body":"and manipulation. Yeah, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":860.76,"endTime":865.11,"body":"very interesting. It is. So I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":865.11,"endTime":867.21,"body":"don't know if anyone's in a cult"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":865.11,"endTime":867.21,"body":"that's listening to this, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":867.63,"endTime":871.8,"body":"not too much different than your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":867.63,"endTime":871.8,"body":"marriage, possibly. Just saying,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":872.52,"endTime":874.95,"body":"disorganized or chaotic living"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":872.52,"endTime":874.95,"body":"environments. We covered this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":874.95,"endTime":876.6,"body":"one. In the beginning."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":877.8,"endTime":880.8,"body":"You watch the show hoarders and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":877.8,"endTime":880.8,"body":"you're like, how are they living"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":880.8,"endTime":883.5,"body":"there? Man? Can you believe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":880.8,"endTime":883.5,"body":"that? Can you believe it?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":883.5,"endTime":886.29,"body":"They're living in this? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":883.5,"endTime":886.29,"body":"that's their norm. These are all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":886.29,"endTime":889.32,"body":"the different ways that we can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":886.29,"endTime":889.32,"body":"convince ourselves that this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":889.32,"endTime":893.28,"body":"normal. And it happens in so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":889.32,"endTime":893.28,"body":"many different ways. We've got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":893.28,"endTime":895.65,"body":"like nine or 10 listed here. We"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":893.28,"endTime":895.65,"body":"could probably easily come up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":895.65,"endTime":899.43,"body":"with 50 of them. Yeah, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":895.65,"endTime":899.43,"body":"disorganized or chaotic, chaotic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":899.43,"endTime":900.0,"body":"living in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":900.0,"endTime":904.56,"body":"environment, like hoarding or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":900.0,"endTime":904.56,"body":"extreme clutter, unsanitary"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":904.56,"endTime":907.68,"body":"conditions, I guess you could"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":904.56,"endTime":907.68,"body":"say is just cat mess everywhere."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":908.58,"endTime":912.09,"body":"But it's disarray that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":908.58,"endTime":912.09,"body":"negatively impacts your physical"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":912.12,"endTime":915.6,"body":"and your mental well being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":912.12,"endTime":915.6,"body":"right. unhealthy coping"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":915.6,"endTime":921.6,"body":"mechanisms. So this is a little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":915.6,"endTime":921.6,"body":"deeper, I think, hold on. Can I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":921.6,"endTime":924.63,"body":"go back for a second? Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":921.6,"endTime":924.63,"body":"have a very dysfunctional room"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":924.63,"endTime":927.6,"body":"in our house. Were you do you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":924.63,"endTime":927.6,"body":"have that bedroom above us right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":927.6,"endTime":931.77,"body":"now I do. That is just a catch"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":927.6,"endTime":931.77,"body":"all catch all. And it's a guest"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":931.77,"endTime":934.92,"body":"room that set up for guestroom."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":931.77,"endTime":934.92,"body":"But there are boxes in there of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":934.92,"endTime":938.82,"body":"stuff that needs to be either"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":934.92,"endTime":938.82,"body":"tossed or into storage or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":938.82,"endTime":941.28,"body":"donated. If you needed to be a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":938.82,"endTime":941.28,"body":"guest of ours, you would be in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":941.31,"endTime":944.25,"body":"deep shit, try and be in trouble"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":941.31,"endTime":944.25,"body":"because there would be no abuse."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":944.4,"endTime":946.83,"body":"But I am acknowledging that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":944.4,"endTime":946.83,"body":"have a very dysfunctional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":946.83,"endTime":948.57,"body":"situation. You're not perfect,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":946.83,"endTime":948.57,"body":"you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":949.8,"endTime":953.07,"body":"unhealthy coping mechanism. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":949.8,"endTime":953.07,"body":"engaging in self destructive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":953.07,"endTime":957.39,"body":"behavior, like excessive alcohol"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":953.07,"endTime":957.39,"body":"or drug use, compulsive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":957.39,"endTime":961.89,"body":"gambling, eating disorders,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":957.39,"endTime":961.89,"body":"anything along these lines that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":961.89,"endTime":966.12,"body":"creates dysfunctional cycles"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":961.89,"endTime":966.12,"body":"that can lead to harm or harm to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":966.12,"endTime":970.23,"body":"your well being, I guess. Yep."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":966.12,"endTime":970.23,"body":"Financial dysfunction like this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":970.23,"endTime":972.78,"body":"one. I think a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":970.23,"endTime":972.78,"body":"live in this to mean I read"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":972.78,"endTime":976.38,"body":"economic reports as part of my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":972.78,"endTime":976.38,"body":"job. And I know that credit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":976.38,"endTime":980.67,"body":"usage is up to historic highs"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":976.38,"endTime":980.67,"body":"saving levels are at historic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":980.67,"endTime":984.9,"body":"lows. And people are strained"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":980.67,"endTime":984.9,"body":"financially. Some people just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":984.9,"endTime":987.72,"body":"live in this all the time. They"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":984.9,"endTime":987.72,"body":"don't know any different. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":987.72,"endTime":991.56,"body":"it is, you know, if they miss"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":987.72,"endTime":991.56,"body":"one paycheck misses and it all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":991.56,"endTime":994.2,"body":"comes crumbling down. I mean, a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":991.56,"endTime":994.2,"body":"lot of Americans live in that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":994.2,"endTime":997.41,"body":"reality. But it is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":994.2,"endTime":997.41,"body":"dysfunctional. Yeah. But we can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":997.41,"endTime":1001.1,"body":"make that okay, somehow. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":997.41,"endTime":1001.1,"body":"it's there. It's where they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.1,"endTime":1004.25,"body":"taking acceptance is the answer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.1,"endTime":1004.25,"body":"a little too far. lie a little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1004.25,"endTime":1008.06,"body":"bit. Staying anxious, depressed,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1004.25,"endTime":1008.06,"body":"overweight, even when you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1008.06,"endTime":1011.69,"body":"miserable. All this stuff is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1008.06,"endTime":1011.69,"body":"familiar. Like when you're in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1011.69,"endTime":1014.18,"body":"that you're, you're familiar"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1011.69,"endTime":1014.18,"body":"with the way that that feels so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1014.18,"endTime":1017.18,"body":"you're scared to change it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1014.18,"endTime":1017.18,"body":"Yeah, we can make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1018.23,"endTime":1021.92,"body":"lemonade out of lemons. Everyone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1018.23,"endTime":1021.92,"body":"has the ability to do this."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1021.95,"endTime":1024.29,"body":"Yeah, but a lot of times we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1021.95,"endTime":1024.29,"body":"choose to do it with the wrong"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1024.29,"endTime":1027.95,"body":"things. We can take a really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1024.29,"endTime":1027.95,"body":"dysfunctional living situation,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1028.31,"endTime":1032.27,"body":"mindset, whatever it might be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1028.31,"endTime":1032.27,"body":"and decide, this is fine. I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1032.27,"endTime":1035.27,"body":"just gonna look at the positive."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1032.27,"endTime":1035.27,"body":"No, that mean, my favorite meme"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1035.27,"endTime":1039.5,"body":"ever is that that dog sitting at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1035.27,"endTime":1039.5,"body":"the coffee table with a cup of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.5,"endTime":1043.61,"body":"coffee and the the his kitchens"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.5,"endTime":1043.61,"body":"on fire? And it just says this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1043.61,"endTime":1047.48,"body":"is fine. Now Yeah, I'm talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1043.61,"endTime":1047.48,"body":"about Yes. This is a summary of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1047.48,"endTime":1050.78,"body":"that time. This is fine. This is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1047.48,"endTime":1050.78,"body":"fine. And we're going to make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1050.78,"endTime":1052.43,"body":"everything go. If you haven't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1050.78,"endTime":1052.43,"body":"seen that meme, check it out."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1052.46,"endTime":1056.15,"body":"It's like my favorite actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1052.46,"endTime":1056.15,"body":"ordered it to get framed. via"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1056.15,"endTime":1059.18,"body":"Amazon. It's supposed to be here"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1056.15,"endTime":1059.18,"body":"pretty soon. I'm framing that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1059.18,"endTime":1061.28,"body":"thing. Oh my god, I'm putting it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1059.18,"endTime":1061.28,"body":"in my office. I love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1062.9,"endTime":1065.69,"body":"your office at the office or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1062.9,"endTime":1065.69,"body":"your office in here. The office"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1065.69,"endTime":1067.88,"body":"at the office. Okay, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1065.69,"endTime":1067.88,"body":"fine. This is fine. This is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1067.88,"endTime":1072.23,"body":"fine. I'm good. Okay, so we've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1067.88,"endTime":1072.23,"body":"covered some examples of what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1072.23,"endTime":1074.6,"body":"these might look like. I hope"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1072.23,"endTime":1074.6,"body":"that one of these has resonated,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1074.6,"endTime":1077.75,"body":"you can at least relate to it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1074.6,"endTime":1077.75,"body":"Right? Why do we do this to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1077.75,"endTime":1080.27,"body":"ourselves, right? Why are we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1077.75,"endTime":1080.27,"body":"stuck in this? Why do we do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1080.27,"endTime":1084.92,"body":"this? Alright, so I'm gonna go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1080.27,"endTime":1084.92,"body":"with a few first fear of change."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1084.95,"endTime":1088.91,"body":"Okay? What does that even mean?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1084.95,"endTime":1088.91,"body":"Fear of change. Change can be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1088.91,"endTime":1091.94,"body":"intimidating. Because you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1088.91,"endTime":1091.94,"body":"gonna stay you want to stay in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1091.94,"endTime":1095.66,"body":"familiar, but dysfunctional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1091.94,"endTime":1095.66,"body":"situation, rather than venture"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1095.66,"endTime":1100.1,"body":"into the unknown. It breaks my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1095.66,"endTime":1100.1,"body":"brain, but I totally understand"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1100.1,"endTime":1103.19,"body":"it. Yeah, me too. Because you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1100.1,"endTime":1103.19,"body":"worry about the uncertainties"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1103.22,"endTime":1106.55,"body":"and like the challenges that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1103.22,"endTime":1106.55,"body":"come with making a change. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1106.55,"endTime":1108.44,"body":"hard, y'all change can hard."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1110.21,"endTime":1113.9,"body":"Pick your heart, though. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1110.21,"endTime":1113.9,"body":"pick your heart. Because I know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1113.9,"endTime":1118.13,"body":"from both sides, it was harder"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1113.9,"endTime":1118.13,"body":"to stay stuck in the dysfunction"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1118.13,"endTime":1121.55,"body":"than it was to make an actual"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1118.13,"endTime":1121.55,"body":"change will not make the change,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1121.55,"endTime":1123.11,"body":"but like to get to the other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1121.55,"endTime":1123.11,"body":"side."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1124.43,"endTime":1127.91,"body":"But you don't know that before"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1124.43,"endTime":1127.91,"body":"you start? No, it's no, you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1127.91,"endTime":1129.65,"body":"live in that. Phil forever."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1127.91,"endTime":1129.65,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1131.66,"endTime":1134.27,"body":"Can you think of anything that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1131.66,"endTime":1134.27,"body":"you've been scared to change?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1134.66,"endTime":1137.48,"body":"And you stayed in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1134.66,"endTime":1137.48,"body":"dysfunctional situation? God,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1137.48,"endTime":1138.32,"body":"yes. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1139.49,"endTime":1144.35,"body":"all kinds of stuff, man. Is this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1139.49,"endTime":1144.35,"body":"anything? You know, like this? I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1144.35,"endTime":1146.72,"body":"feel like I'm you asking me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1144.35,"endTime":1146.72,"body":"questions, and you don't want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1146.72,"endTime":1150.29,"body":"answer. Can you know, I'm just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1146.72,"endTime":1150.29,"body":"debating if I should answer no,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1150.29,"endTime":1153.65,"body":"anything that's simple, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1150.29,"endTime":1153.65,"body":"anybody else can relate to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1153.83,"endTime":1155.09,"body":"simple stuff."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1156.95,"endTime":1158.84,"body":"I'm usually pretty good with the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1156.95,"endTime":1158.84,"body":"simple stuff. It's the bigger"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1158.84,"endTime":1161.48,"body":"things that I really struggle"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1158.84,"endTime":1161.48,"body":"with. Okay, so I'm going to also"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1161.48,"endTime":1166.46,"body":"think about whenever I did want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1161.48,"endTime":1166.46,"body":"to change my lifestyle of being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1166.49,"endTime":1169.88,"body":"unhealthy to healthy, I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1166.49,"endTime":1169.88,"body":"scared to lose weight. Like who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1169.91,"endTime":1172.97,"body":"who says that? Who's scared to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1169.91,"endTime":1172.97,"body":"lose weight, but a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1172.97,"endTime":1176.24,"body":"are at the root of it. All"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1172.97,"endTime":1176.24,"body":"right. I was like, I don't know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1176.24,"endTime":1178.28,"body":"how my body is going to change."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1176.24,"endTime":1178.28,"body":"I don't know if I'm gonna like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1178.28,"endTime":1182.63,"body":"it. I'm scared of the challenges"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1178.28,"endTime":1182.63,"body":"that go along with it. But you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1182.63,"endTime":1186.56,"body":"just do it and it you figure it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1182.63,"endTime":1186.56,"body":"out from there, but it sounds"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1186.56,"endTime":1189.89,"body":"wild to say it out loud. Like I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1186.56,"endTime":1189.89,"body":"was scared. I was scared to lose"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1189.89,"endTime":1193.37,"body":"weight. Yeah, I'm trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1189.89,"endTime":1193.37,"body":"think of a way to put this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1193.37,"endTime":1196.37,"body":"that's not going to like, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1193.37,"endTime":1196.37,"body":"don't want to compromise anyone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1196.37,"endTime":1199.97,"body":"else's identity that's been in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1196.37,"endTime":1199.97,"body":"this with me. But let's just say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1200.0,"endTime":1204.53,"body":"I have always been the person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1200.0,"endTime":1204.53,"body":"that ultimately stood up and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1204.53,"endTime":1208.28,"body":"held up my hand and I said, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1204.53,"endTime":1208.28,"body":"Emperor wears no clothes. I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1208.28,"endTime":1211.25,"body":"said that, and I've done that my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1208.28,"endTime":1211.25,"body":"entire life. Like when I sensed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1211.25,"endTime":1213.68,"body":"that this stuff was going on,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1211.25,"endTime":1213.68,"body":"I've been able to say like, this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.68,"endTime":1216.29,"body":"is BS. Yeah. Like even when I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.68,"endTime":1216.29,"body":"was using, like, I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1216.29,"endTime":1218.48,"body":"ultimately the one that decided"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1216.29,"endTime":1218.48,"body":"I had to do something about it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1218.48,"endTime":1219.47,"body":"Absolutely. I didn't."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1221.03,"endTime":1224.0,"body":"It's not a flex again, it's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1221.03,"endTime":1224.0,"body":"a flex kind of intuitively, I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1224.0,"endTime":1228.11,"body":"always done that. But in doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1224.0,"endTime":1228.11,"body":"that, like I would have said"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1228.11,"endTime":1231.65,"body":"these things years prior, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1228.11,"endTime":1231.65,"body":"there's a fear of upsetting the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1231.65,"endTime":1235.07,"body":"status quo. And there's a fear"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1231.65,"endTime":1235.07,"body":"of like, I'm going to people are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1235.07,"endTime":1237.47,"body":"going to be upset with me when I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1235.07,"endTime":1237.47,"body":"do this. Like, you aren't gonna"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1237.47,"endTime":1240.77,"body":"like me. Yeah. And that's always"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1237.47,"endTime":1240.77,"body":"been a fear of mine. Like I like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1240.77,"endTime":1243.59,"body":"to be liked, who doesn't like to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1240.77,"endTime":1243.59,"body":"be liked? Yeah, you know, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1243.59,"endTime":1245.57,"body":"there's always been a fear that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1243.59,"endTime":1245.57,"body":"if I were to stand up and say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1245.57,"endTime":1249.26,"body":"something, I was going to upset"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1245.57,"endTime":1249.26,"body":"someone. And so it's easier to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1249.26,"endTime":1252.41,"body":"not say anything, and just go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1249.26,"endTime":1252.41,"body":"with the flow. Yeah. Because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1252.41,"endTime":1255.08,"body":"once you do say something now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1252.41,"endTime":1255.08,"body":"you got a frickin scarlet letter"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1255.08,"endTime":1258.98,"body":"on your chest. Yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1255.08,"endTime":1258.98,"body":"tough. Yeah. But your future do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1258.98,"endTime":1260.84,"body":"it anyway, though. Exactly."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1258.98,"endTime":1260.84,"body":"Because your future self will."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1260.84,"endTime":1263.87,"body":"Thank you. Okay, another reason"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1260.84,"endTime":1263.87,"body":"why we get stuck in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1263.87,"endTime":1265.52,"body":"situation is low self esteem."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1266.75,"endTime":1269.75,"body":"you raising your hand right now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1266.75,"endTime":1269.75,"body":"is in my hand right now. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1269.75,"endTime":1273.71,"body":"suffered from that for a long"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1269.75,"endTime":1273.71,"body":"time. Because we believe that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1273.71,"endTime":1277.7,"body":"don't deserve better or you know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1273.71,"endTime":1277.7,"body":"that we won't find anything"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.7,"endTime":1280.34,"body":"better outside of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.7,"endTime":1280.34,"body":"dysfunctional situation. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1280.34,"endTime":1283.64,"body":"man. We hear that a lot. You're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1280.34,"endTime":1283.64,"body":"right. That's a very common one."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1283.64,"endTime":1286.82,"body":"Yep. boils down to low self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1283.64,"endTime":1286.82,"body":"esteem. Yeah, because we feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1286.82,"endTime":1288.98,"body":"like we're unworthy have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1286.82,"endTime":1288.98,"body":"healthier relationships or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1288.98,"endTime":1291.98,"body":"environments. And this can go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1288.98,"endTime":1291.98,"body":"back to childhood or trauma or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1291.98,"endTime":1294.05,"body":"anything that you've been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1291.98,"endTime":1294.05,"body":"through. I can't really tell you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1294.05,"endTime":1300.23,"body":"why. We're like that, but it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1294.05,"endTime":1300.23,"body":"definitely part of it. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1300.23,"endTime":1304.64,"body":"another one is dependency. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1300.23,"endTime":1304.64,"body":"some people may rely on these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1304.64,"endTime":1308.18,"body":"situations for financial support"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1304.64,"endTime":1308.18,"body":"or stability, or it's a sense of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1308.18,"endTime":1312.53,"body":"their identity. So like, oh, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1308.18,"endTime":1312.53,"body":"can't leave him because he pays"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1312.53,"endTime":1315.44,"body":"my bills. Yeah, so I'm just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1312.53,"endTime":1315.44,"body":"gonna deal with all this. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1315.86,"endTime":1318.83,"body":"What was that one movie with?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1315.86,"endTime":1318.83,"body":"The lady took off? I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1318.83,"endTime":1323.0,"body":"Richard Gere was in it. Maybe?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1318.83,"endTime":1323.0,"body":"Was he the crazy guy? No, she,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1323.0,"endTime":1324.08,"body":"like, faked her own death."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1325.22,"endTime":1329.18,"body":"Oh, that would be Julia Roberts."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1325.22,"endTime":1329.18,"body":"Yes. That was a great movie."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1329.21,"endTime":1332.27,"body":"Sleeping with the Enemy sleeping"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1329.21,"endTime":1332.27,"body":"with the enemy. Is that it?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1332.27,"endTime":1334.76,"body":"Yeah, that's it. Did you just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1332.27,"endTime":1334.76,"body":"recently watch that for the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1334.76,"endTime":1337.82,"body":"first time? No, you watch that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1334.76,"endTime":1337.82,"body":"when you were younger? I watched"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1337.82,"endTime":1340.55,"body":"that. Because you watched it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1337.82,"endTime":1340.55,"body":"over and over and over and over."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1340.55,"endTime":1341.24,"body":"It's a great one."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1342.44,"endTime":1345.62,"body":"I think of her. Very true, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1342.44,"endTime":1345.62,"body":"she freaking did it. She done"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1345.62,"endTime":1348.71,"body":"it. She did it. Alright, another"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1345.62,"endTime":1348.71,"body":"one is emotional attachment. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1348.71,"endTime":1352.52,"body":"you can develop an emotional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1348.71,"endTime":1352.52,"body":"attachment to these situations"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1352.52,"endTime":1354.26,"body":"or the individuals that are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1352.52,"endTime":1354.26,"body":"within them."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1355.91,"endTime":1359.63,"body":"Because you hold on to hope that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1355.91,"endTime":1359.63,"body":"things are going to improve,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1360.11,"endTime":1364.25,"body":"especially if they've had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1360.11,"endTime":1364.25,"body":"invested like a long time and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1364.25,"endTime":1368.18,"body":"energy into the relationship."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1364.25,"endTime":1368.18,"body":"Oh, goodness. Yes. Yes. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1368.18,"endTime":1371.12,"body":"We've been together for five"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1368.18,"endTime":1371.12,"body":"years, man like this has to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1371.12,"endTime":1374.36,"body":"work. Yeah. Like I've put a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1371.12,"endTime":1374.36,"body":"of energy I see the potential I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1374.36,"endTime":1377.93,"body":"can see that potential or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1374.36,"endTime":1377.93,"body":"potential. Oh, the potential."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1381.02,"endTime":1383.15,"body":"Looking at you. Yeah, no."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1384.59,"endTime":1387.11,"body":"All right. What else? Other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1384.59,"endTime":1387.11,"body":"Yeah, lack of resources. We kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1387.11,"endTime":1390.89,"body":"of covered it a moment ago,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1387.11,"endTime":1390.89,"body":"like, financially, I just, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1390.89,"endTime":1394.01,"body":"don't know another way I have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1390.89,"endTime":1394.01,"body":"stay here. This is the only job"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1394.01,"endTime":1396.89,"body":"that's gonna pay me what I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1394.01,"endTime":1396.89,"body":"getting paid. If I leave, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1396.89,"endTime":1400.04,"body":"screwed. So I'll just deal with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1396.89,"endTime":1400.04,"body":"the crap because it's worth the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1400.04,"endTime":1403.79,"body":"paycheck. Yeah. Or that person's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1400.04,"endTime":1403.79,"body":"worth a crap because they make a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1403.79,"endTime":1408.08,"body":"nice life for us. Yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1403.79,"endTime":1408.08,"body":"really common to cultural and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1408.08,"endTime":1411.74,"body":"societal norms. This one is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1408.08,"endTime":1411.74,"body":"actually more like hits. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1411.74,"endTime":1413.42,"body":"this one's like, more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1411.74,"endTime":1413.42,"body":"subversive. Like, it's kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1413.42,"endTime":1417.35,"body":"under the surface, but it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1413.42,"endTime":1417.35,"body":"always there. Like, you just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1417.35,"endTime":1419.84,"body":"don't get divorce because you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1417.35,"endTime":1419.84,"body":"just don't do that. You mean you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1419.84,"endTime":1422.87,"body":"get divorce? No, no, it's not an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1419.84,"endTime":1422.87,"body":"option. You don't get divorced."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1423.38,"endTime":1426.71,"body":"Man, like, we're not advocates"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1423.38,"endTime":1426.71,"body":"for divorce. Like, don't get me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1426.71,"endTime":1428.93,"body":"wrong, like we stayed together."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1426.71,"endTime":1428.93,"body":"There's some really, really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1428.93,"endTime":1432.32,"body":"tough stuff promised not to give"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1428.93,"endTime":1432.32,"body":"up on each other. But had things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.32,"endTime":1434.9,"body":"got to a certain point, I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.32,"endTime":1434.9,"body":"that you would have no choice,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1435.23,"endTime":1436.31,"body":"but to leave me Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1437.33,"endTime":1439.19,"body":"So you would have done the same"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1437.33,"endTime":1439.19,"body":"thing, then you would not have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1439.19,"endTime":1442.91,"body":"let a societal or cultural norm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1439.19,"endTime":1442.91,"body":"stand in the way of that? Or how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1442.91,"endTime":1445.97,"body":"people will say like, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1442.91,"endTime":1445.97,"body":"yeah, I understand that your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1445.97,"endTime":1450.23,"body":"father has, you know, never paid"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1445.97,"endTime":1450.23,"body":"child support. And he used to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1450.23,"endTime":1452.99,"body":"hit you when you're younger. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1450.23,"endTime":1452.99,"body":"he's been, you know, a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1452.99,"endTime":1457.37,"body":"womanizer, but he's still your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1452.99,"endTime":1457.37,"body":"father and what Miss mean with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1457.37,"endTime":1460.4,"body":"that, and yeah, like that's,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1457.37,"endTime":1460.4,"body":"that's society, that's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1460.4,"endTime":1463.37,"body":"cultural thing, right? That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1460.4,"endTime":1463.37,"body":"not rooted in fact, or the way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1463.37,"endTime":1466.25,"body":"that people treat you or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1463.37,"endTime":1466.25,"body":"evidence or anything else. That"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1466.25,"endTime":1469.76,"body":"is just bullcrap. You can rid"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1466.25,"endTime":1469.76,"body":"yourself of that. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1469.76,"endTime":1472.7,"body":"minimization or denial, so some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1469.76,"endTime":1472.7,"body":"people downplay the dysfunction,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.73,"endTime":1476.42,"body":"deny its severity, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.73,"endTime":1476.42,"body":"rationalize it and they make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1476.42,"endTime":1480.17,"body":"excuses and they try to convince"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1476.42,"endTime":1480.17,"body":"themselves and saying that bad,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1480.17,"endTime":1485.12,"body":"it's all good. We just our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1480.17,"endTime":1485.12,"body":"brains will are always"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1485.9,"endTime":1488.96,"body":"rationalizing, that's kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1485.9,"endTime":1488.96,"body":"where the toxic positivity comes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1488.96,"endTime":1491.21,"body":"in a big part of it and what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1488.96,"endTime":1491.21,"body":"we're talking about earlier,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1491.21,"endTime":1494.84,"body":"where you're just looking at the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1491.21,"endTime":1494.84,"body":"Oh, everything's okay, we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1494.84,"endTime":1497.48,"body":"good and you're not really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1494.84,"endTime":1497.48,"body":"looking at the big picture of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1497.66,"endTime":1499.97,"body":"what needs to change that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1497.66,"endTime":1499.97,"body":"dysfunctional, obviously."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1500.0,"endTime":1502.67,"body":"But he's important. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1500.0,"endTime":1502.67,"body":"absolutely worth it. But it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1502.67,"endTime":1507.08,"body":"not it's two people look at it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1502.67,"endTime":1507.08,"body":"209 Yeah, so it's all or nothing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1507.08,"endTime":1510.32,"body":"but you can minimize, you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1507.08,"endTime":1510.32,"body":"minimize some really tough"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1510.32,"endTime":1513.83,"body":"situations. I'm actually really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1510.32,"endTime":1513.83,"body":"good at this myself. Yes, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1513.83,"endTime":1516.08,"body":"really good at this. I can look"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1513.83,"endTime":1516.08,"body":"at things and be like, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1516.08,"endTime":1519.14,"body":"I always look for the best in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1516.08,"endTime":1519.14,"body":"people and situations. And a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1519.14,"endTime":1521.45,"body":"of ways. I think it's a gift,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1519.14,"endTime":1521.45,"body":"but it's also a curse of mine."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1521.45,"endTime":1525.32,"body":"Yes. Where I can let people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1521.45,"endTime":1525.32,"body":"mistreat me for a long periods"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1525.32,"endTime":1528.98,"body":"of time, because I will see the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1525.32,"endTime":1528.98,"body":"good in them. And I will, I will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1528.98,"endTime":1531.56,"body":"know their intentions. I'll know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1528.98,"endTime":1531.56,"body":"where their hearts at. And I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1531.56,"endTime":1534.65,"body":"also I mean, I've got it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1531.56,"endTime":1534.65,"body":"programmed in me that I treat"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1534.65,"endTime":1537.74,"body":"everyone like a sick friend. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1534.65,"endTime":1537.74,"body":"when I see someone doing that, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1537.74,"endTime":1539.96,"body":"think more like, what are they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1537.74,"endTime":1539.96,"body":"going through that's causing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1539.96,"endTime":1542.36,"body":"that. But at some point, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1539.96,"endTime":1542.36,"body":"have to draw the line. Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1542.36,"endTime":1546.14,"body":"it's okay, that's disengaging"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1542.36,"endTime":1546.14,"body":"with compassion. Yeah, I've done"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1546.14,"endTime":1548.54,"body":"all the things here. I've made"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1546.14,"endTime":1548.54,"body":"them aware of it. I've put up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1548.54,"endTime":1550.43,"body":"the boundaries. I've done all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1548.54,"endTime":1550.43,"body":"that crap, and they still don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1550.43,"endTime":1554.57,"body":"come around like, nothing I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1550.43,"endTime":1554.57,"body":"do. Right. All right. So we've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1554.57,"endTime":1558.26,"body":"talked about the examples. We've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1554.57,"endTime":1558.26,"body":"talked about the why do we end"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1558.26,"endTime":1562.07,"body":"up here? Now, I think that what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1558.26,"endTime":1562.07,"body":"anyone's Yeah, what anyone would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1562.07,"endTime":1564.26,"body":"be wondering at this point,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1562.07,"endTime":1564.26,"body":"alright, what the hell do I do,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1564.26,"endTime":1567.44,"body":"man? How do I fix this? Okay, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1564.26,"endTime":1567.44,"body":"I'm in a relationship. This is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1567.44,"endTime":1569.51,"body":"the most common one, I'm in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1567.44,"endTime":1569.51,"body":"relationship with an addict."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1570.35,"endTime":1573.44,"body":"They don't want to get help."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1570.35,"endTime":1573.44,"body":"What do I do? Like I've tried"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1573.44,"endTime":1575.93,"body":"everything. Or maybe they are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1573.44,"endTime":1575.93,"body":"trying to get help. What do I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1575.93,"endTime":1579.26,"body":"do? I've tried everything. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1575.93,"endTime":1579.26,"body":"Or my job has treated me like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1579.26,"endTime":1583.25,"body":"crap for so many years. But they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1579.26,"endTime":1583.25,"body":"pay me really well. Like, what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1583.25,"endTime":1585.74,"body":"do I do? Yeah, obviously,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1583.25,"endTime":1585.74,"body":"there's something that you need"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1585.74,"endTime":1588.83,"body":"to listen to. Within your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1585.74,"endTime":1588.83,"body":"intuition. There's a little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1588.83,"endTime":1591.92,"body":"voice in you that saying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1588.83,"endTime":1591.92,"body":"something is wrong, right, man,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1591.92,"endTime":1596.24,"body":"that little voice, God so I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1591.92,"endTime":1596.24,"body":"got like, I've got 1000 voices"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1596.24,"endTime":1599.33,"body":"in my head. But the most"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1596.24,"endTime":1599.33,"body":"important one is the most quiet."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1599.33,"endTime":1601.85,"body":"I don't know why that is. Why is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1599.33,"endTime":1601.85,"body":"he got to be the most quiet now."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1602.27,"endTime":1605.6,"body":"That little dude needs to speak"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1602.27,"endTime":1605.6,"body":"up more. Because I, when I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1605.63,"endTime":1609.17,"body":"listened to it, great things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1605.63,"endTime":1609.17,"body":"happen. Yeah. But the other ones"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1609.17,"endTime":1613.04,"body":"are so much louder. Yeah. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1609.17,"endTime":1613.04,"body":"much more like, seductive,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1613.07,"endTime":1614.48,"body":"they're easier to listen to, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1613.07,"endTime":1614.48,"body":"know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1616.16,"endTime":1620.51,"body":"a little quiet was tougher,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1616.16,"endTime":1620.51,"body":"right? Okay, so I'm gonna say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1620.51,"endTime":1623.72,"body":"like the first step of how to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1620.51,"endTime":1623.72,"body":"this, and it's in so many"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1623.72,"endTime":1627.14,"body":"processes and even our own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1623.72,"endTime":1627.14,"body":"personal process. Step one and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1627.14,"endTime":1632.39,"body":"eight. Yeah. And this is our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1627.14,"endTime":1632.39,"body":"process in Tufo is recognizing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1632.42,"endTime":1634.91,"body":"and acknowledging the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1632.42,"endTime":1634.91,"body":"dysfunction first step in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1634.91,"endTime":1639.23,"body":"recovery is admitting surely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1634.91,"endTime":1639.23,"body":"look at your situation from afar"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1639.29,"endTime":1645.44,"body":"and acknowledge and say that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1639.29,"endTime":1645.44,"body":"something is not right. Pretend"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1645.44,"endTime":1649.19,"body":"you were watching your life as a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1645.44,"endTime":1649.19,"body":"movie. Yeah. What would you say?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1649.22,"endTime":1651.26,"body":"Well, that all the time, what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1649.22,"endTime":1651.26,"body":"would you think about this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1651.26,"endTime":1655.01,"body":"character? Yes, yes, this is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1651.26,"endTime":1655.01,"body":"essential first step towards"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1655.01,"endTime":1658.55,"body":"making any kind of change. The"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1655.01,"endTime":1658.55,"body":"next one will be seek support,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1658.55,"endTime":1660.71,"body":"because a lot of us we don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1658.55,"endTime":1660.71,"body":"have the support we need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1660.71,"endTime":1664.79,"body":"reach out to, you know, our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1660.71,"endTime":1664.79,"body":"friends or family or groups that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1664.79,"endTime":1668.72,"body":"can provide some emotional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1664.79,"endTime":1668.72,"body":"support or even guidance and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1668.72,"endTime":1672.62,"body":"objective perspectives. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1668.72,"endTime":1672.62,"body":"huge to get objective objective"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1672.62,"endTime":1676.43,"body":"perspectives from others that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1672.62,"endTime":1676.43,"body":"are seeing your situation from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1677.12,"endTime":1680.6,"body":"far away. Yeah. And you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1677.12,"endTime":1680.6,"body":"what's, what wasn't number two,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1681.08,"endTime":1683.93,"body":"was just think yourself out of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1681.08,"endTime":1683.93,"body":"it and fix it yourself? Yep."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1684.35,"endTime":1687.89,"body":"Seek support man to foe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1684.35,"endTime":1687.89,"body":"community all yes, I'm gonna"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1687.89,"endTime":1690.47,"body":"plug one in there. Because we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1687.89,"endTime":1690.47,"body":"have a great support system"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1690.47,"endTime":1694.13,"body":"there. That's what it's for. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1690.47,"endTime":1694.13,"body":"is it is. I mean, you have to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1694.13,"endTime":1697.97,"body":"open and willing, though, to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1694.13,"endTime":1697.97,"body":"listen. And if somebody does"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1697.97,"endTime":1702.14,"body":"point out that maybe you have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1697.97,"endTime":1702.14,"body":"personal challenge that you need"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1702.14,"endTime":1702.95,"body":"to work on."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1704.0,"endTime":1707.72,"body":"Listen, you know, be open and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1704.0,"endTime":1707.72,"body":"honest with yourself as not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1707.72,"endTime":1711.44,"body":"being bullying or harassing or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1707.72,"endTime":1711.44,"body":"harsh. It's somebody literally"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1711.44,"endTime":1715.37,"body":"trying to help you get through a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1711.44,"endTime":1715.37,"body":"situation that is making you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1715.4,"endTime":1719.33,"body":"unhappy. I encourage everyone in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1715.4,"endTime":1719.33,"body":"there to gracefully give and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1719.33,"endTime":1722.75,"body":"receive feedback gracefully,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1719.33,"endTime":1722.75,"body":"gracefully, gracefully, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1722.78,"endTime":1724.85,"body":"hearing things from an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1722.78,"endTime":1724.85,"body":"outsider's perspective and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1724.85,"endTime":1727.64,"body":"split. That's interesting. Let"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1724.85,"endTime":1727.64,"body":"me think about that. Yep. Rather"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1727.64,"endTime":1730.16,"body":"than just be like, Oh, you don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1727.64,"endTime":1730.16,"body":"know me? Yeah. You don't know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1730.16,"endTime":1732.59,"body":"me? Yeah, yeah. But I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1730.16,"endTime":1732.59,"body":"different. I've heard it all."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1732.62,"endTime":1736.55,"body":"Now. Yeah. Just listen for a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1732.62,"endTime":1736.55,"body":"moment. Yes. And another one's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1736.55,"endTime":1739.34,"body":"going to be developed a safety"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1736.55,"endTime":1739.34,"body":"plan. So this is going to be for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1739.34,"endTime":1743.39,"body":"people who are basically in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1739.34,"endTime":1743.39,"body":"abusive or, you know, violent"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1743.39,"endTime":1746.51,"body":"situations. It's very important"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1743.39,"endTime":1746.51,"body":"for you to prioritize your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1746.51,"endTime":1751.46,"body":"safety. This includes, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1746.51,"endTime":1751.46,"body":"steps to protect yourself. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1751.46,"endTime":1755.45,"body":"you have to look at places that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1751.46,"endTime":1755.45,"body":"are safe. You know, maybe a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1755.45,"endTime":1759.26,"body":"family member. Yeah. Put your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1755.45,"endTime":1759.26,"body":"mom on notice. Hey, hi, my call,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1759.26,"endTime":1762.02,"body":"you know, on a whim, I'm gonna"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1759.26,"endTime":1762.02,"body":"need to be there, get a go back"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1762.02,"endTime":1766.34,"body":"together. Yes. Have emergency"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1762.02,"endTime":1766.34,"body":"contacts in place? You know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1766.34,"endTime":1770.6,"body":"that's some friends that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1766.34,"endTime":1770.6,"body":"might trust, and then involve"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1770.6,"endTime":1773.12,"body":"local authorities if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1770.6,"endTime":1773.12,"body":"absolutely have to. There's no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1773.12,"endTime":1777.29,"body":"shame in that. No, like, We're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1773.12,"endTime":1777.29,"body":"not advocating that you end up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1777.29,"endTime":1780.62,"body":"on cops, which is a show that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1777.29,"endTime":1780.62,"body":"love. It's a great show. I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1780.62,"endTime":1783.86,"body":"think everybody likes it is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1780.62,"endTime":1783.86,"body":"important that you have that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1783.86,"endTime":1788.0,"body":"safety net there if you need it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1783.86,"endTime":1788.0,"body":"Yeah. So if your situation is is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1788.0,"endTime":1790.4,"body":"tough, and you've got abuse in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1788.0,"endTime":1790.4,"body":"it, that's no joke at all."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1790.43,"endTime":1793.07,"body":"Develop a safety plan, prepare"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1790.43,"endTime":1793.07,"body":"yourself if it's a pattern, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1793.07,"endTime":1796.46,"body":"going to happen again. Yep. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1793.07,"endTime":1796.46,"body":"this one's going to be kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1796.46,"endTime":1799.04,"body":"similar to seek support. This is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1796.46,"endTime":1799.04,"body":"actually just building a support"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1799.04,"endTime":1799.73,"body":"network."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1800.0,"endTime":1802.7,"body":"Yeah, which is like more about,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1800.0,"endTime":1802.7,"body":"it's not so much like just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1802.7,"endTime":1806.51,"body":"seeking a friend. It's like a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1802.7,"endTime":1806.51,"body":"friend is someone who you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1806.51,"endTime":1808.43,"body":"trust because you trust their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1806.51,"endTime":1808.43,"body":"opinion, because you've known"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1808.43,"endTime":1811.64,"body":"each other for a long time and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1808.43,"endTime":1811.64,"body":"you value their perspective, a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1811.64,"endTime":1815.75,"body":"support network is other people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1811.64,"endTime":1815.75,"body":"going through the exact same"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1815.75,"endTime":1818.72,"body":"thing. Yes. So it's other people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1815.75,"endTime":1818.72,"body":"who have done this before who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1818.72,"endTime":1821.33,"body":"were walking through it right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1818.72,"endTime":1821.33,"body":"now currently who are interested"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1821.39,"endTime":1824.81,"body":"interested in it. And there's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1821.39,"endTime":1824.81,"body":"million different, you name it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1824.81,"endTime":1827.93,"body":"there's a support group for it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1824.81,"endTime":1827.93,"body":"Yeah. And they can encourage you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1827.96,"endTime":1830.69,"body":"to make the best decisions for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1827.96,"endTime":1830.69,"body":"yourself. Yeah, give us that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1830.69,"endTime":1833.66,"body":"movie Fight Club. That was my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1830.69,"endTime":1833.66,"body":"first experience with the 12"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1833.66,"endTime":1836.33,"body":"steps. Actually, it was Fight"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1833.66,"endTime":1836.33,"body":"Club. For those of you haven't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1836.33,"endTime":1839.72,"body":"seen Fight Club, it's about this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1836.33,"endTime":1839.72,"body":"guy. Who will I don't wanna get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1839.72,"endTime":1841.49,"body":"too far into it. But there's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1839.72,"endTime":1841.49,"body":"part in the movie where he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1841.49,"endTime":1844.91,"body":"cannot sleep, he has insomnia."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1841.49,"endTime":1844.91,"body":"And what he finds is that if he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1844.91,"endTime":1848.3,"body":"goes to 12 step meetings,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1844.91,"endTime":1848.3,"body":"doesn't matter what they're for,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1848.33,"endTime":1853.1,"body":"he will cry and embrace somebody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1848.33,"endTime":1853.1,"body":"else. And then he sleeps like a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1853.1,"endTime":1855.65,"body":"baby. So he ends up getting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1853.1,"endTime":1855.65,"body":"addicted to different 12 Step"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1855.65,"endTime":1859.94,"body":"groups and he goes to one for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1855.65,"endTime":1859.94,"body":"like, like carcinoma survivors,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1859.94,"endTime":1863.06,"body":"he goes to one for like broken"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1859.94,"endTime":1863.06,"body":"leg survivors. He goes to one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1863.06,"endTime":1867.23,"body":"for like, men with hair loss. He"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1863.06,"endTime":1867.23,"body":"like men's breast cancer, like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1867.23,"endTime":1870.56,"body":"you name it. There's a support"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1867.23,"endTime":1870.56,"body":"group for it. Yeah. That was my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1870.56,"endTime":1873.74,"body":"first experience of 12 steps. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1870.56,"endTime":1873.74,"body":"was like, I'm never doing that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1874.07,"endTime":1878.0,"body":"No way, man. What does that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1874.07,"endTime":1878.0,"body":"crap. But there are groups for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1878.0,"endTime":1880.4,"body":"every Yeah, I mean, I don't mean"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1878.0,"endTime":1880.4,"body":"to demean it by any means. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1880.4,"endTime":1883.34,"body":"there are support groups out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1880.4,"endTime":1883.34,"body":"there, no matter what it is."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1883.34,"endTime":1886.37,"body":"Yeah. Like we've got one for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1883.34,"endTime":1886.37,"body":"people who are trying to better"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1886.37,"endTime":1889.28,"body":"their relationships, better"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1886.37,"endTime":1889.28,"body":"their life. A lot of people who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1889.28,"endTime":1891.68,"body":"happen to be in codependent"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1889.28,"endTime":1891.68,"body":"relationships with addicts, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1891.68,"endTime":1894.2,"body":"it's not just for that it's sort"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1891.68,"endTime":1894.2,"body":"of all encompassing, I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1894.2,"endTime":1896.48,"body":"it's a good place to start. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1894.2,"endTime":1896.48,"body":"there are plenty out there. They"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1896.48,"endTime":1899.75,"body":"get even more specific than"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1896.48,"endTime":1899.75,"body":"that. Yeah, it can get like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1900.02,"endTime":1905.36,"body":"super niche it can get like, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1900.02,"endTime":1905.36,"body":"know, people living on Cape Cod"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1905.39,"endTime":1909.44,"body":"with kids under four with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1905.39,"endTime":1909.44,"body":"autism. Like they're probably"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1909.44,"endTime":1912.71,"body":"groups like that. Like they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1909.44,"endTime":1912.71,"body":"probably out there. Yeah, find"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1912.71,"endTime":1915.95,"body":"them. In network with those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1912.71,"endTime":1915.95,"body":"people. You'll find a lot of be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1915.95,"endTime":1918.89,"body":"careful with the mom groups in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1915.95,"endTime":1918.89,"body":"your city. So just saying, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1918.89,"endTime":1919.67,"body":"they get wild."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1920.87,"endTime":1924.05,"body":"Yeah, I'm not animals. Why would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1920.87,"endTime":1924.05,"body":"I know? Okay, tell me stories."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1924.08,"endTime":1927.35,"body":"No, I'm not I have to block and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1924.08,"endTime":1927.35,"body":"unfollow those groups a lot. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1927.35,"endTime":1929.96,"body":"man, I want to hear about the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1927.35,"endTime":1929.96,"body":"story. All right, we're getting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1929.96,"endTime":1932.87,"body":"off track. Another one is going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1929.96,"endTime":1932.87,"body":"to be set clear boundaries. Of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1932.87,"endTime":1934.58,"body":"course, we're always talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1932.87,"endTime":1934.58,"body":"about that b word."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1936.08,"endTime":1938.78,"body":"When you establish and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1936.08,"endTime":1938.78,"body":"communicate your personal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1938.78,"endTime":1941.42,"body":"boundaries to those that are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1938.78,"endTime":1941.42,"body":"like involved in these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1941.42,"endTime":1946.28,"body":"situations, you got to be firm,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1941.42,"endTime":1946.28,"body":"like assert it, assert what's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1946.88,"endTime":1948.92,"body":"acceptable, and what's not."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1950.72,"endTime":1953.09,"body":"And be prepared to enforce those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1950.72,"endTime":1953.09,"body":"boundaries and not make it a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1953.09,"endTime":1956.15,"body":"threat. Yeah, make sure your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1953.09,"endTime":1956.15,"body":"boundaries are enforceable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1956.15,"endTime":1959.48,"body":"everybody, because you can come"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1956.15,"endTime":1959.48,"body":"up with all these great ideas"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1959.48,"endTime":1961.25,"body":"for boundaries. But if you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1959.48,"endTime":1961.25,"body":"not willing to enforce them,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1961.25,"endTime":1962.63,"body":"they're basically meaningless."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1961.25,"endTime":1962.63,"body":"Yep."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1964.28,"endTime":1966.8,"body":"We talked about this a little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1964.28,"endTime":1966.8,"body":"bit, but developing an exit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1966.8,"endTime":1969.92,"body":"strategy. It's sort of like it'd"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1966.8,"endTime":1969.92,"body":"be different for like, just the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1970.43,"endTime":1973.49,"body":"Yeah, I think developing an exit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1970.43,"endTime":1973.49,"body":"strategy is sort of like the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1973.49,"endTime":1976.31,"body":"logical way you look at like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1973.49,"endTime":1976.31,"body":"Okay, what would my life look"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1976.31,"endTime":1980.24,"body":"like, if I didn't if I had to go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1976.31,"endTime":1980.24,"body":"today? And you have to kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1980.24,"endTime":1982.94,"body":"get, I mean, it's like the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1980.24,"endTime":1982.94,"body":"logistics of it, right? Like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1982.94,"endTime":1986.6,"body":"where am I going to live? Where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1982.94,"endTime":1986.6,"body":"would I? How would I get a job"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1986.6,"endTime":1990.23,"body":"there? Am I going to end this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1986.6,"endTime":1990.23,"body":"relationship? What would that be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1990.23,"endTime":1992.84,"body":"like? What kind of people in my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1990.23,"endTime":1992.84,"body":"life will I lose because of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1992.84,"endTime":1997.22,"body":"that? Maybe mutual friends you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1992.84,"endTime":1997.22,"body":"have? Like, there's practical"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1997.22,"endTime":2001.0,"body":"aspects of this, like finances,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1997.22,"endTime":2001.0,"body":"logistics, legal considerations,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2001.33,"endTime":2003.67,"body":"but start to develop an exit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2001.33,"endTime":2003.67,"body":"strategy and start to think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2003.67,"endTime":2005.56,"body":"about what your life would look"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2003.67,"endTime":2005.56,"body":"like. Because those are some of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2005.56,"endTime":2007.69,"body":"the questions that we can't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2005.56,"endTime":2007.69,"body":"necessarily answer for you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2007.72,"endTime":2010.18,"body":"Yeah, they're very individual"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2007.72,"endTime":2010.18,"body":"people come to us, like, hey, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2010.18,"endTime":2012.97,"body":"want to leave him but like, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2010.18,"endTime":2012.97,"body":"haven't worked in 12 years,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2013.0,"endTime":2015.61,"body":"like, well, we're gonna give"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2013.0,"endTime":2015.61,"body":"that some thought. Yeah, like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2015.61,"endTime":2017.92,"body":"really give us what are your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2015.61,"endTime":2017.92,"body":"options? Yes. Look at your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2017.92,"endTime":2019.66,"body":"options. Like that's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2017.92,"endTime":2019.66,"body":"something that just gets taken"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2019.66,"endTime":2022.57,"body":"care of. This is important"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2019.66,"endTime":2022.57,"body":"places like right out pros and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2022.57,"endTime":2026.32,"body":"cons, right? Yeah, for sure."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2022.57,"endTime":2026.32,"body":"Cons of staying where you are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2026.32,"endTime":2027.04,"body":"unhappy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2028.06,"endTime":2031.03,"body":"And leaving? Yeah, what does"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2028.06,"endTime":2031.03,"body":"that I was screw this quote up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2031.06,"endTime":2035.35,"body":"when the the pain of change is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2036.55,"endTime":2037.72,"body":"less than a man that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2039.01,"endTime":2043.15,"body":"you will change, right? That was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2039.01,"endTime":2043.15,"body":"it the other way around? Gosh, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2043.15,"endTime":2045.91,"body":"was make sense because I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2043.15,"endTime":2045.91,"body":"understood what you were saying."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2046.06,"endTime":2048.94,"body":"We could just be tired. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2046.06,"endTime":2048.94,"body":"usually I'm not good at that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2048.97,"endTime":2051.7,"body":"Okay, so I think you've got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2048.97,"endTime":2051.7,"body":"this, but we'll let you listen"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2051.7,"endTime":2052.63,"body":"to this and see and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2053.8,"endTime":2056.74,"body":"see, seek, seek help from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2053.8,"endTime":2056.74,"body":"someone that's done this before"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2056.74,"endTime":2060.31,"body":"or from a mental health"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2056.74,"endTime":2060.31,"body":"professional. So whether it's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2060.31,"endTime":2063.76,"body":"therapist, counselor, coach,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2060.31,"endTime":2063.76,"body":"some sort of professional that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2063.76,"endTime":2067.12,"body":"specializes in dealing with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2063.76,"endTime":2067.12,"body":"these dysfunctional situations,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2067.12,"endTime":2070.0,"body":"whichever one you're in, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2067.12,"endTime":2070.0,"body":"they'll provide guidance,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2070.0,"endTime":2073.15,"body":"support, and maybe even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2070.0,"endTime":2073.15,"body":"therapeutic intervention, to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2073.15,"endTime":2075.01,"body":"help you navigate those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2073.15,"endTime":2075.01,"body":"challenges that you're gonna"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2075.01,"endTime":2079.45,"body":"face like our good friend Nasim"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2075.01,"endTime":2079.45,"body":"has become like, you know, her"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2079.45,"endTime":2082.9,"body":"podcast started out with, like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2079.45,"endTime":2082.9,"body":"her realizations about life"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2082.9,"endTime":2086.5,"body":"after her great resignation. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2082.9,"endTime":2086.5,"body":"she's actually gotten the point"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2086.5,"endTime":2089.41,"body":"where people are reaching out to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2086.5,"endTime":2089.41,"body":"her. And this is a super nice"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2089.41,"endTime":2093.7,"body":"topic about like, what do I do?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2089.41,"endTime":2093.7,"body":"How did you go through this? And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2093.7,"endTime":2095.98,"body":"she's professional at this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2093.7,"endTime":2095.98,"body":"point. She's a professional."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2096.01,"endTime":2099.19,"body":"Yes, yeah. So it's out there no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2096.01,"endTime":2099.19,"body":"matter what it is, whether it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2099.19,"endTime":2100.0,"body":"career, fam"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2100.0,"endTime":2102.31,"body":"linear relationships, addiction,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2100.0,"endTime":2102.31,"body":"you name it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2103.36,"endTime":2105.7,"body":"Something we've talked about and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2103.36,"endTime":2105.7,"body":"cannot be stated enough because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2105.7,"endTime":2108.76,"body":"you gotta take care of yourself,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2105.7,"endTime":2108.76,"body":"man. Self care, so freakin"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2108.76,"endTime":2112.33,"body":"important prioritize it. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2108.76,"endTime":2112.33,"body":"that's a self care self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2112.33,"endTime":2115.06,"body":"compassion, oh my god, it's so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2112.33,"endTime":2115.06,"body":"huge. When you look at your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2115.06,"endTime":2118.54,"body":"situation, you're watching that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2115.06,"endTime":2118.54,"body":"movie of that person going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2118.54,"endTime":2122.71,"body":"through all this stuff. Have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2118.54,"endTime":2122.71,"body":"little compassion for that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2122.71,"endTime":2125.92,"body":"person, that's you. It's you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2122.71,"endTime":2125.92,"body":"have some compassion with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2125.92,"endTime":2128.26,"body":"yourself through the process,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2125.92,"endTime":2128.26,"body":"eliminate the word should, from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2128.26,"endTime":2131.89,"body":"your vocabulary, absolutely."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2128.26,"endTime":2131.89,"body":"Start to engage in activities"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2131.89,"endTime":2135.31,"body":"that promote your physical and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2131.89,"endTime":2135.31,"body":"emotional well being. So whether"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2135.31,"endTime":2139.66,"body":"that's exercise, hiking, walking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2135.31,"endTime":2139.66,"body":"your dog gardening, you name it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2139.66,"endTime":2141.37,"body":"whatever it is, is therapeutic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2139.66,"endTime":2141.37,"body":"for you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2142.51,"endTime":2145.45,"body":"Healthy Eating mindfulness"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2142.51,"endTime":2145.45,"body":"practicing that in some way,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2145.45,"endTime":2148.78,"body":"whether that's meditation,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2145.45,"endTime":2148.78,"body":"spiritual practices, whatever"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2148.78,"endTime":2151.27,"body":"that looks like for you. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2148.78,"endTime":2151.27,"body":"dancing for us, like always been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2151.27,"endTime":2155.14,"body":"your thing. And other ones stay"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2151.27,"endTime":2155.14,"body":"committed and persistent. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2155.17,"endTime":2158.56,"body":"leaving one of these situations,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2155.17,"endTime":2158.56,"body":"these dysfunctional situations,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2159.01,"endTime":2162.79,"body":"it's, in my experience, a very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2159.01,"endTime":2162.79,"body":"gradual process. Absolutely. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2162.79,"endTime":2167.53,"body":"was not something that just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2162.79,"endTime":2167.53,"body":"happened overnight. So I had, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2167.53,"endTime":2171.19,"body":"had some, like career type"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2167.53,"endTime":2171.19,"body":"epiphanies in the last three or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2171.19,"endTime":2175.21,"body":"four years, like I had this plan"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2171.19,"endTime":2175.21,"body":"in place, and it was like, Man,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2175.21,"endTime":2177.85,"body":"this is not gonna happen"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2175.21,"endTime":2177.85,"body":"overnight. Like, there's just no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2177.85,"endTime":2182.47,"body":"way like, this could take a I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2177.85,"endTime":2182.47,"body":"don't know how many years this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2182.47,"endTime":2184.9,"body":"is gonna take some time, though."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2182.47,"endTime":2184.9,"body":"You don't just like cut those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2184.9,"endTime":2188.38,"body":"routes overnight. You don't just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2184.9,"endTime":2188.38,"body":"start to tear anything down. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2188.38,"endTime":2192.4,"body":"it's like, okay, maybe that's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2188.38,"endTime":2192.4,"body":"goal eventually, but it could"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2192.4,"endTime":2194.32,"body":"take time to get there. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2192.4,"endTime":2194.32,"body":"you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2195.64,"endTime":2199.39,"body":"what I ultimately found was that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2195.64,"endTime":2199.39,"body":"working with Tufo has really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2199.39,"endTime":2202.9,"body":"filled the hole that I, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2199.39,"endTime":2202.9,"body":"know, it's always there, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2203.77,"endTime":2206.95,"body":"it's not as big anymore. So it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2203.77,"endTime":2206.95,"body":"helped. So this is part of that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2206.95,"endTime":2209.68,"body":"process, it did not happen"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2206.95,"endTime":2209.68,"body":"overnight. And it wasn't a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2209.68,"endTime":2212.35,"body":"switch for some situations, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2209.68,"endTime":2212.35,"body":"will have a switch, like flip"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2212.35,"endTime":2215.32,"body":"it, right, gone. Yep. But I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2212.35,"endTime":2215.32,"body":"think for others, it's more of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2215.32,"endTime":2218.2,"body":"like an educational experience"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2215.32,"endTime":2218.2,"body":"that takes place over a period"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2218.2,"endTime":2221.08,"body":"of time. And so you're going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2218.2,"endTime":2221.08,"body":"have to stay committed,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2221.11,"endTime":2223.69,"body":"persistent. And give yourself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2221.11,"endTime":2223.69,"body":"plenty of grace as you go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2223.69,"endTime":2227.2,"body":"through it. Be mindful of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2223.69,"endTime":2227.2,"body":"goal that you want, ultimately,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2227.2,"endTime":2229.78,"body":"but understand it's going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2227.2,"endTime":2229.78,"body":"take a lot to get there. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2229.78,"endTime":2232.36,"body":"it'll take a bunch of little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2229.78,"endTime":2232.36,"body":"bitty steps to get there. Yep,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2232.39,"endTime":2235.57,"body":"not happening overnight, most of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2232.39,"endTime":2235.57,"body":"the time. I think ultimately,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2235.57,"endTime":2237.46,"body":"you have to be willing to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2235.57,"endTime":2237.46,"body":"something different. Like it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2237.46,"endTime":2240.16,"body":"okay to be scared of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2237.46,"endTime":2240.16,"body":"unknown. It's okay to not know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2240.16,"endTime":2242.23,"body":"what's going to happen. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2240.16,"endTime":2242.23,"body":"okay to be scared about what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2242.23,"endTime":2244.27,"body":"your life is going to look like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2242.23,"endTime":2244.27,"body":"without the super comfortable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2244.27,"endTime":2246.97,"body":"thing, even though it's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2244.27,"endTime":2246.97,"body":"healthy. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2248.53,"endTime":2252.58,"body":"But how are you ever going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2248.53,"endTime":2252.58,"body":"know if you don't try it? You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2252.58,"endTime":2255.85,"body":"know, you've talked about making"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2252.58,"endTime":2255.85,"body":"a pros and cons list. Yeah. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2255.85,"endTime":2258.31,"body":"talked about picking your heart,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2255.85,"endTime":2258.31,"body":"like it's going to be hard to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2258.31,"endTime":2262.09,"body":"change. In most cases, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2258.31,"endTime":2262.09,"body":"harder to stay where you're at."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2262.12,"endTime":2265.72,"body":"Yeah, so choose your heart. What"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2262.12,"endTime":2265.72,"body":"do you want to do? You get one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2265.72,"endTime":2269.62,"body":"life to live, what are you going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2265.72,"endTime":2269.62,"body":"to do? You know, I think that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2269.62,"endTime":2273.58,"body":"ultimately, like when we talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2269.62,"endTime":2273.58,"body":"about change, what gets us to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2273.58,"endTime":2278.68,"body":"change is pain. I had this good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2273.58,"endTime":2278.68,"body":"friend who passed away. And he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2278.68,"endTime":2283.3,"body":"used to always say time plus"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2278.68,"endTime":2283.3,"body":"pain equals change. If you get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2283.3,"endTime":2286.48,"body":"it along, if you get in enough"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2283.3,"endTime":2286.48,"body":"pain for a long enough period of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2286.48,"endTime":2291.28,"body":"time, you will change. And those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2286.48,"endTime":2291.28,"body":"two, time and pain are variable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2291.28,"endTime":2294.58,"body":"too, you can, you can get in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2291.28,"endTime":2294.58,"body":"lot of pain for a really short"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2294.58,"endTime":2297.4,"body":"period of time and change. Or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2294.58,"endTime":2297.4,"body":"you can get in a little bit of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2297.4,"endTime":2302.56,"body":"pain for a really long time to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2297.4,"endTime":2302.56,"body":"get to change. But I think that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2302.59,"endTime":2305.05,"body":"the pain piece of it, if you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2306.16,"endTime":2310.21,"body":"sort of stir up more pain,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2306.16,"endTime":2310.21,"body":"you'll change much quicker."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2310.33,"endTime":2313.9,"body":"Yeah. So if you're in a tough"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2310.33,"endTime":2313.9,"body":"relationship, I'm not saying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2313.9,"endTime":2317.08,"body":"necessarily poke the bear, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2313.9,"endTime":2317.08,"body":"start asking questions. And you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2317.08,"endTime":2319.36,"body":"will get to a place where you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2317.08,"endTime":2319.36,"body":"like, Man, this really doesn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2319.36,"endTime":2323.68,"body":"make sense anymore. Yeah, like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2319.36,"endTime":2323.68,"body":"that fight that we just had. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2323.68,"endTime":2326.89,"body":"will never let someone talk to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2323.68,"endTime":2326.89,"body":"me that way. So increasing the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2326.89,"endTime":2330.25,"body":"level of pain decreases the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2326.89,"endTime":2330.25,"body":"amount of time, which gets you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2330.25,"endTime":2332.95,"body":"to change quicker. Or you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2330.25,"endTime":2332.95,"body":"just deal with a little bit of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2332.95,"endTime":2335.92,"body":"dysfunction for a really long"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2332.95,"endTime":2335.92,"body":"time to hear a call, which I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2335.92,"endTime":2339.28,"body":"done both I know how this works."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2335.92,"endTime":2339.28,"body":"But I tend to side with the pain"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2339.28,"endTime":2341.53,"body":"piece of it when I look at my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2339.28,"endTime":2341.53,"body":"life, and I'm like, I've got to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2341.53,"endTime":2345.49,"body":"make a change. A lot of times I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2341.53,"endTime":2345.49,"body":"want to make the change, but I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2345.49,"endTime":2348.58,"body":"know deep down that I'm just not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2345.49,"endTime":2348.58,"body":"in enough pain yet, man. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2348.61,"endTime":2351.37,"body":"what's it gonna take to get me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2348.61,"endTime":2351.37,"body":"there? You know, if you want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2351.37,"endTime":2353.35,"body":"lose weight, go get some blood"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2351.37,"endTime":2353.35,"body":"work done and see what that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2353.35,"endTime":2356.47,"body":"looks like. See if that? See if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2353.35,"endTime":2356.47,"body":"that gets you in some pain. Yep."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2356.8,"endTime":2360.52,"body":"You know, if you want to. If you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2356.8,"endTime":2360.52,"body":"have these huge aspirational"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2360.52,"endTime":2362.89,"body":"career goals, go talk to your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2360.52,"endTime":2362.89,"body":"boss and see what they say about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2362.89,"endTime":2365.11,"body":"your future with the company"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2362.89,"endTime":2365.11,"body":"that might increase some pain."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2365.44,"endTime":2368.08,"body":"You might hear we don't think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2365.44,"endTime":2368.08,"body":"that you are anything that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2368.08,"endTime":2371.47,"body":"will that you say you are and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2368.08,"endTime":2371.47,"body":"I'm not interested in promoting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2371.47,"endTime":2374.11,"body":"you. You can stay right here."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2371.47,"endTime":2374.11,"body":"That might lead to a decision"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2374.11,"endTime":2377.23,"body":"where you go that hurt. I'm out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2374.11,"endTime":2377.23,"body":"of here. Yeah. You know, like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2377.23,"endTime":2381.13,"body":"you can drum up pain in all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2377.23,"endTime":2381.13,"body":"sorts of ways. Yeah, you can."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2381.61,"endTime":2383.47,"body":"Something is the word I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2381.61,"endTime":2383.47,"body":"looking for. I can't think of it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2383.47,"endTime":2386.44,"body":"right now. What's it called when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2383.47,"endTime":2386.44,"body":"the washing machine like starts"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2386.47,"endTime":2388.33,"body":"moving stuff around? Or they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2386.47,"endTime":2388.33,"body":"call that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2390.37,"endTime":2393.13,"body":"unbalanced? What do you mean no,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2390.37,"endTime":2393.13,"body":"the washing machine where it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2393.13,"endTime":2398.14,"body":"like it's stirring up things."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2393.13,"endTime":2398.14,"body":"It's like, I wish I could see my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2398.14,"endTime":2398.89,"body":"face right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2400.0,"endTime":2402.61,"body":"I don't know what the hell"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2400.0,"endTime":2402.61,"body":"you're talking about out."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2402.97,"endTime":2405.49,"body":"Somebody might know, I'll be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2402.97,"endTime":2405.49,"body":"like about it laid, you're an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2405.49,"endTime":2407.71,"body":"idiot. You don't know what he's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2405.49,"endTime":2407.71,"body":"saying, I'll think about it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2407.71,"endTime":2410.35,"body":"later. But either way, this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2407.71,"endTime":2410.35,"body":"process will take time. So be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2410.35,"endTime":2413.44,"body":"patient, give yourself some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2410.35,"endTime":2413.44,"body":"compassion. And remember that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2413.44,"endTime":2417.22,"body":"nothing changes. If nothing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2413.44,"endTime":2417.22,"body":"changes, you will remain in this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2417.22,"endTime":2421.03,"body":"muck your garage will remain an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2417.22,"endTime":2421.03,"body":"absolute mess. If you do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2421.03,"endTime":2425.11,"body":"nothing. That's a fact. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2421.03,"endTime":2425.11,"body":"that's a fact. So the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2425.11,"endTime":2429.13,"body":"willingness to change your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2425.11,"endTime":2429.13,"body":"behavior is so important, just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2429.13,"endTime":2431.35,"body":"to be willing and open to what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2429.13,"endTime":2431.35,"body":"that would look like. And we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2431.35,"endTime":2434.29,"body":"just walked you through a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2431.35,"endTime":2434.29,"body":"process to get you there. We"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2434.29,"endTime":2438.82,"body":"just had 30 different examples"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2434.29,"endTime":2438.82,"body":"of the examples of them the how,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2438.85,"endTime":2441.46,"body":"and the why, or the why and the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2438.85,"endTime":2441.46,"body":"how, right the other why the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2441.46,"endTime":2443.62,"body":"hell yeah. So we've just walked"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2441.46,"endTime":2443.62,"body":"you through it. We've given you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2443.62,"endTime":2446.59,"body":"a blueprint for it. And I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2443.62,"endTime":2446.59,"body":"it's pretty helpful. Yeah. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2446.59,"endTime":2449.5,"body":"know it's easier said than done."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2446.59,"endTime":2449.5,"body":"But damn, we've done a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2449.5,"endTime":2452.02,"body":"this. Yeah. So listen to that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2449.5,"endTime":2452.02,"body":"quiet little voice the one you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2452.02,"endTime":2454.48,"body":"don't want to listen to the one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2452.02,"endTime":2454.48,"body":"that so much quieter than than"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2454.48,"endTime":2457.45,"body":"all the others. And what is it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2454.48,"endTime":2457.45,"body":"telling you? What is your gut"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2457.45,"endTime":2460.93,"body":"saying? What is your intuition"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2457.45,"endTime":2460.93,"body":"saying? Yeah, and listen, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2460.93,"endTime":2464.71,"body":"then act. And if you don't know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2460.93,"endTime":2464.71,"body":"where to start popping the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2464.71,"endTime":2467.17,"body":"community start asking some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2464.71,"endTime":2467.17,"body":"questions. We can probably point"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2467.17,"endTime":2470.11,"body":"you in the right direction at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2467.17,"endTime":2470.11,"body":"the very least for sure. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2470.11,"endTime":2473.59,"body":"is that is that is that covered?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2470.11,"endTime":2473.59,"body":"Guys still thinking of that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2473.59,"endTime":2474.91,"body":"word? And I can't remember it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2473.59,"endTime":2474.91,"body":"man."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2475.96,"endTime":2479.77,"body":"I'm so past that. You're past"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2475.96,"endTime":2479.77,"body":"it. Yeah, I was on it for a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2479.77,"endTime":2483.19,"body":"moment. And then I changed my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2479.77,"endTime":2483.19,"body":"brain. It's not aggravate. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2483.19,"endTime":2486.7,"body":"it's similar to aggravate to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2483.19,"endTime":2486.7,"body":"aggravate the pain like poke it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2488.05,"endTime":2493.36,"body":"Was it called when you stoke"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2488.05,"endTime":2493.36,"body":"stoke a fire? It's not a thing."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2493.42,"endTime":2495.73,"body":"What the hell, man and you don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2493.42,"endTime":2495.73,"body":"talk about the little bags that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2495.73,"endTime":2499.03,"body":"you'd like to cartoons like you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2495.73,"endTime":2499.03,"body":"pump in the fire. Stokes the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2499.03,"endTime":2502.42,"body":"fire. That's what that means."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2499.03,"endTime":2502.42,"body":"Oh, my gosh, y'all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2506.98,"endTime":2508.66,"body":"still got the word, but I'll"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2506.98,"endTime":2508.66,"body":"think of it at some of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2508.66,"endTime":2511.42,"body":"points. Anyway, we're gonna have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2508.66,"endTime":2511.42,"body":"a conversation after this. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2511.42,"endTime":2513.28,"body":"I'm gonna go straight to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2511.42,"endTime":2513.28,"body":"Wikipedia and look it up. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2513.28,"endTime":2516.55,"body":"either way. If you haven't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2513.28,"endTime":2516.55,"body":"already followed the show left a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2516.55,"endTime":2519.34,"body":"review, we would very much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2516.55,"endTime":2519.34,"body":"appreciate you doing that helps"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2519.34,"endTime":2521.77,"body":"us move up the rankings. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2519.34,"endTime":2521.77,"body":"which by the case, the rankings."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2522.61,"endTime":2525.37,"body":"I was looking at the rankings"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2522.61,"endTime":2525.37,"body":"today. You know, we depending on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2525.37,"endTime":2527.53,"body":"which category you're looking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2525.37,"endTime":2527.53,"body":"at, we score on the top anywhere"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2527.53,"endTime":2532.93,"body":"between the top 20 and 30% of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2527.53,"endTime":2532.93,"body":"all podcast periods. Cool. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2532.96,"endTime":2535.09,"body":"that also tells me that like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2532.96,"endTime":2535.09,"body":"there's a lot of really bad"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2535.09,"endTime":2537.64,"body":"podcasts out there. Because our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2535.09,"endTime":2537.64,"body":"numbers aren't huge by any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2537.64,"endTime":2542.41,"body":"means. But we have any freaking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2537.64,"endTime":2542.41,"body":"proud of it. I'm proud of it. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2542.41,"endTime":2546.13,"body":"just enjoy it. I hope that the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2542.41,"endTime":2546.13,"body":"listener enjoys it. Oh, yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2548.83,"endTime":2550.09,"body":"I'm glad you're having fun bait."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2553.12,"endTime":2554.8,"body":"But anyway, if you haven't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2553.12,"endTime":2554.8,"body":"already, follow the show left a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2554.8,"endTime":2556.54,"body":"review, we'd very much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2554.8,"endTime":2556.54,"body":"appreciate it. If you get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2556.54,"endTime":2558.55,"body":"something from this. Let a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2556.54,"endTime":2558.55,"body":"friend know share it out on your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2558.55,"endTime":2561.34,"body":"social media, tag us and your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2558.55,"endTime":2561.34,"body":"stories. And let us know that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2561.34,"endTime":2563.29,"body":"you are listening, let us know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2561.34,"endTime":2563.29,"body":"that you're out there and that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2563.29,"endTime":2565.57,"body":"you exist, we would love to know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2563.29,"endTime":2565.57,"body":"we'd love to send you some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2565.57,"endTime":2567.31,"body":"stickers too. We've got some."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2568.48,"endTime":2570.34,"body":"If you haven't already checked"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2568.48,"endTime":2570.34,"body":"out our new website, we've got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2570.34,"endTime":2577.0,"body":"that up and running www.tufo.com"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2570.34,"endTime":2577.0,"body":"TW fo TW fo.com where you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2577.0,"endTime":2579.61,"body":"find out more about us check out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2577.0,"endTime":2579.61,"body":"some of our free guides that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2579.61,"endTime":2583.36,"body":"we've got available. 100% free,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2579.61,"endTime":2583.36,"body":"not asking for anything at all,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2583.36,"endTime":2585.55,"body":"you don't even have to give us"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2583.36,"endTime":2585.55,"body":"your email address. Just go on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2585.55,"endTime":2587.83,"body":"there and check it out. And we'd"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2585.55,"endTime":2587.83,"body":"love for them to be helpful to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2587.83,"endTime":2591.67,"body":"you. We've got our Facebook"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2587.83,"endTime":2591.67,"body":"community to pho couple. We've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2591.67,"endTime":2593.62,"body":"also talked about this in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2591.67,"endTime":2593.62,"body":"last few episodes about a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2593.62,"endTime":2596.08,"body":"foundation that we very much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2593.62,"endTime":2596.08,"body":"believe in the counseling for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2596.08,"endTime":2599.08,"body":"the Future Foundation, we are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2596.08,"endTime":2599.08,"body":"raising money to put therapists"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2599.08,"endTime":2603.25,"body":"through their graduate level"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2599.08,"endTime":2603.25,"body":"programs debt free. So if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2603.25,"endTime":2606.43,"body":"know a therapist, if you are a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2603.25,"endTime":2606.43,"body":"therapist, if you believe in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2606.43,"endTime":2611.2,"body":"power of therapy, check us out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2606.43,"endTime":2611.2,"body":"counselling futures.org, you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2611.2,"endTime":2615.49,"body":"give a donation there doesn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2611.2,"endTime":2615.49,"body":"matter how small it is, or big"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2615.49,"endTime":2619.06,"body":"it is whatever you want to give"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2615.49,"endTime":2619.06,"body":"goes to a great cause. Imagine a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2619.06,"endTime":2621.88,"body":"world where when you needed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2619.06,"endTime":2621.88,"body":"somebody when you needed a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2621.88,"endTime":2624.97,"body":"mental health professional, a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2621.88,"endTime":2624.97,"body":"therapist, they would be there."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2625.12,"endTime":2627.91,"body":"There's not enough of them in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2625.12,"endTime":2627.91,"body":"the field to meet the growing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2628.0,"endTime":2630.46,"body":"demand for mental health"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2628.0,"endTime":2630.46,"body":"problems that we have in this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2630.46,"endTime":2633.31,"body":"country. And in the next 10"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2630.46,"endTime":2633.31,"body":"years. It's gonna get even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2633.31,"endTime":2636.19,"body":"worse. We have more therapists"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2633.31,"endTime":2636.19,"body":"in school right now to become"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2636.19,"endTime":2640.03,"body":"therapists and it's still not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2636.19,"endTime":2640.03,"body":"enough or do you have to pee or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2640.03,"endTime":2642.82,"body":"something if you are bouncing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2640.03,"endTime":2642.82,"body":"all over the place."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2644.17,"endTime":2647.26,"body":"So let me just go ahead and get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2644.17,"endTime":2647.26,"body":"through this. I've been given"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2647.26,"endTime":2648.16,"body":"you a look"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2649.78,"endTime":2653.56,"body":"at counseling for the futures."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2649.78,"endTime":2653.56,"body":"Oh, you hate it when I have to."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2654.25,"endTime":2656.44,"body":"Oh just bounces all over the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2654.25,"endTime":2656.44,"body":"place y'all. It's like nerve"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2656.44,"endTime":2658.6,"body":"racking. Now the corner miles up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2656.44,"endTime":2658.6,"body":"and down."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2659.62,"endTime":2662.71,"body":"If you go to our website at the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2659.62,"endTime":2662.71,"body":"very bottom, you can find links"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2662.71,"endTime":2665.38,"body":"to all of our social media"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2662.71,"endTime":2665.38,"body":"accounts. We are on everything I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2665.38,"endTime":2668.47,"body":"think on just about everything."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2665.38,"endTime":2668.47,"body":"It's at Tufo underscore couple"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2669.16,"endTime":2672.52,"body":"that's at TW fo underscore"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2669.16,"endTime":2672.52,"body":"couple. We keep them all pretty"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2672.52,"endTime":2675.7,"body":"well fed up now. You're doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2672.52,"endTime":2675.7,"body":"this on purpose. Yeah. What else"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2675.7,"endTime":2676.39,"body":"can we talk about?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2677.62,"endTime":2678.16,"body":"They"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2679.99,"endTime":2683.47,"body":"All right, so next time I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2679.99,"endTime":2683.47,"body":"Matt, I'm Hey, we'll see you"}]}