{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.82,"body":"The most important piece I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.82,"body":"think anyone can the fear of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2.82,"endTime":6.42,"body":"take one thing away from this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2.82,"endTime":6.42,"body":"episode. Forgiveness as a gift"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":6.45,"endTime":8.7,"body":"to give yourself, you're not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":6.45,"endTime":8.7,"body":"giving the other person"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":8.7,"endTime":12.27,"body":"necessarily anything. You're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":8.7,"endTime":12.27,"body":"freeing yourself from that. That"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":12.3,"endTime":16.65,"body":"ik that resentment and anger."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":12.3,"endTime":16.65,"body":"Yes. But we're like, programmed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":16.65,"endTime":20.16,"body":"to think that forgiveness is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":16.65,"endTime":20.16,"body":"like a gift. We're giving that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":20.31,"endTime":22.08,"body":"person instead of ourselves"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":27.03,"endTime":31.77,"body":"Welcome back. Well come"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":27.03,"endTime":31.77,"body":"back to another"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":31.77,"endTime":34.62,"body":"episode of till the wheels"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":31.77,"endTime":34.62,"body":"fall off. I'm Matt. I'm paying."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":34.65,"endTime":39.06,"body":"We're laughing at me. While I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":34.65,"endTime":39.06,"body":"starting to wear on YouTube now"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":39.06,"endTime":41.64,"body":"and I have to acknowledge the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":39.06,"endTime":41.64,"body":"fact that that things over there"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":41.64,"endTime":46.86,"body":"or I'll forget Hey, it's tough"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":41.64,"endTime":46.86,"body":"to do. Yeah. Anyway, we are back"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":47.49,"endTime":51.09,"body":"from a trip to the land of the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":47.49,"endTime":51.09,"body":"most glorious weather I've ever"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":51.09,"endTime":55.38,"body":"experienced this time of year."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":51.09,"endTime":55.38,"body":"It's like 110 degrees here and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":55.38,"endTime":61.05,"body":"up there. It was like in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":55.38,"endTime":61.05,"body":"daytime 72 Perfectly blue skies"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":61.08,"endTime":66.33,"body":"crisp air. In the evenings. It"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":61.08,"endTime":66.33,"body":"was like 55 degrees, which like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":66.33,"endTime":69.36,"body":"hoodie weather in the evenings."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":66.33,"endTime":69.36,"body":"I'm on the record of saying this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":69.39,"endTime":73.38,"body":"every every night should require"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":69.39,"endTime":73.38,"body":"a hoodie. That should just be a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":73.38,"endTime":73.8,"body":"thing."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":73.89,"endTime":75.51,"body":"We wear hoodies Anyway,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":73.89,"endTime":75.51,"body":"look,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":75.539,"endTime":78.869,"body":"we do but we keep the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":75.539,"endTime":78.869,"body":"house super cold to do it. God"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":78.869,"endTime":82.229,"body":"needs to rework his plan about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":78.869,"endTime":82.229,"body":"weather and just make sure that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":82.229,"endTime":84.869,"body":"no matter where you are in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":82.229,"endTime":84.869,"body":"world every night is 55 degrees."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":85.139,"endTime":87.509,"body":"Pretty weather so you can have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":85.139,"endTime":87.509,"body":"s'mores and campfires every"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":87.509,"endTime":90.449,"body":"night. Anyway, it was great. We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":87.509,"endTime":90.449,"body":"got up we got out of here"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":90.479,"endTime":94.229,"body":"at expensive oysters. Why"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":90.479,"endTime":94.229,"body":"oysters? $3.50 apiece."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":94.259,"endTime":95.909,"body":"Yeah, can you imagine"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":94.259,"endTime":95.909,"body":"that? The first guy that found"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":95.909,"endTime":99.059,"body":"an oyster was like, What is this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":95.909,"endTime":99.059,"body":"trash? Little did he know that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":99.059,"endTime":102.659,"body":"one day someone would charge us"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":99.059,"endTime":102.659,"body":"$3 a pop for that little thing?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":102.959,"endTime":107.039,"body":"Good. They were delicious. We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":102.959,"endTime":107.039,"body":"ate. I think we ate most of the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":107.039,"endTime":109.559,"body":"seafood in the Atlantic last"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":107.039,"endTime":109.559,"body":"week. Yeah, for sure."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":109.59,"endTime":111.42,"body":"We have a lot of mercury"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":109.59,"endTime":111.42,"body":"in our bodies right now."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":111.449,"endTime":115.019,"body":"Man. It was so good"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":111.449,"endTime":115.019,"body":"though. We ate. Let me tell you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":115.049,"endTime":122.849,"body":"we ate oysters. We ate crab. We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":115.049,"endTime":122.849,"body":"ate lobster. We ate pizza pasta."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":122.909,"endTime":129.299,"body":"We ate ice cream. All of it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":122.909,"endTime":129.299,"body":"Yeah, remember? You don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":129.299,"endTime":131.249,"body":"remember? Okay. Well,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":131.249,"endTime":133.499,"body":"we did. All right. Well,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":131.249,"endTime":133.499,"body":"it was a great trip. We ate a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":133.499,"endTime":134.519,"body":"lot of yummy food. Your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":134.52,"endTime":138.6,"body":"ice cream was blue. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":134.52,"endTime":138.6,"body":"remember it now? Super blue. No."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":138.81,"endTime":139.2,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":139.68,"endTime":140.76,"body":"I eat blue ice cream."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":139.68,"endTime":140.76,"body":"What"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":140.76,"endTime":143.61,"body":"are you even talking Ben"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":140.76,"endTime":143.61,"body":"and Jerry's up and man? Amazing."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":143.61,"endTime":143.85,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":143.85,"endTime":145.02,"body":"we went to Ben and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":143.85,"endTime":145.02,"body":"Jerry's. It was like a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":145.02,"endTime":147.93,"body":"marshmallow ice cream. Yeah, it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":145.02,"endTime":147.93,"body":"was good. Okay. Sorry,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":147.96,"endTime":148.77,"body":"call me back."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":149.34,"endTime":153.0,"body":"I forgot we went to Ben"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":149.34,"endTime":153.0,"body":"and Jerry's. My bad."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":153.42,"endTime":156.93,"body":"Yeah. Anyway, it was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":153.42,"endTime":156.93,"body":"amazing. It was amazing man."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":156.96,"endTime":161.07,"body":"Much needed. Yeah. And we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":156.96,"endTime":161.07,"body":"back to discuss what listeners"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":161.07,"endTime":164.91,"body":"have requested from us an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":161.07,"endTime":164.91,"body":"episode on forgiveness."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":165.03,"endTime":168.45,"body":"Mm hmm. I can't say it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":165.03,"endTime":168.45,"body":"without thinking it through it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":168.6,"endTime":174.0,"body":"Forgive this. More than say and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":168.6,"endTime":174.0,"body":"sorry."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":174.21,"endTime":177.27,"body":"If you guys have ever seen"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":174.21,"endTime":177.27,"body":"the movie. I think it's just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":177.27,"endTime":180.45,"body":"friends. Just friends Ryan Ryan"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":177.27,"endTime":180.45,"body":"Reynolds and Anna Faris. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":180.45,"endTime":181.92,"body":"love her. She's so"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":180.45,"endTime":181.92,"body":"freakin hilarious. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":181.92,"endTime":184.65,"body":"the moment you said I want"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":181.92,"endTime":184.65,"body":"to do an episode on forgiveness."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":184.8,"endTime":187.11,"body":"I was reading your message and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":184.8,"endTime":187.11,"body":"this has been playing in my head"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":187.11,"endTime":187.83,"body":"for a week now. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":187.83,"endTime":189.54,"body":"gonna be in my head. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":187.83,"endTime":189.54,"body":"thanks, Darren. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":189.54,"endTime":191.37,"body":"it was we talked about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":189.54,"endTime":191.37,"body":"this. I'm trying my best not to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":191.37,"endTime":193.44,"body":"go back there. And if you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":191.37,"endTime":193.44,"body":"haven't seen the movie, check it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":193.44,"endTime":196.41,"body":"out. But anyway, an episode on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":193.44,"endTime":196.41,"body":"forgiveness what forgiveness is,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":196.71,"endTime":201.93,"body":"how to achieve it. Do people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":196.71,"endTime":201.93,"body":"deserve it? Do you deserve it?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":201.93,"endTime":205.11,"body":"How do you give it what is it?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":201.93,"endTime":205.11,"body":"So we're gonna get into it?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":205.74,"endTime":209.97,"body":"Let's do it. All right. I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":205.74,"endTime":209.97,"body":"leaning on you heavy here. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":210.15,"endTime":214.44,"body":"because I'm the jerk that made"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":210.15,"endTime":214.44,"body":"you have to forgive. Therefore,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":214.44,"endTime":215.43,"body":"this is your episode."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":216.18,"endTime":219.06,"body":"Oh, forgive you right?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":216.18,"endTime":219.06,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":219.69,"endTime":221.79,"body":"I'm getting a look right"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":219.69,"endTime":221.79,"body":"now that she still has yet to do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":221.79,"endTime":222.3,"body":"this."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":223.65,"endTime":225.66,"body":"No, I would totally"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":223.65,"endTime":225.66,"body":"forgiven you. But it's a huge"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":225.66,"endTime":228.69,"body":"process of forgiveness is like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":225.66,"endTime":228.69,"body":"it's not what a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":228.69,"endTime":231.3,"body":"think. Do you think that when"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":228.69,"endTime":231.3,"body":"you forgive somebody you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":231.3,"endTime":234.63,"body":"like, condoning their behavior"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":231.3,"endTime":234.63,"body":"and everything is peachy keen."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":234.63,"endTime":237.54,"body":"And you're supposed to let go"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":234.63,"endTime":237.54,"body":"and whatever. But forgiveness is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":237.54,"endTime":239.91,"body":"totally different than that."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":237.54,"endTime":239.91,"body":"Yeah, it's not this nice wrapped"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":239.91,"endTime":243.12,"body":"up little package of just like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":239.91,"endTime":243.12,"body":"we're cool. Let's go back to the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":243.12,"endTime":246.45,"body":"way things were right. It is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":243.12,"endTime":246.45,"body":"very situational. Situ"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":246.6,"endTime":250.5,"body":"situational. Totally. Okay, got"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":246.6,"endTime":250.5,"body":"it. Nailed. Right, right. $5"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":250.5,"endTime":250.89,"body":"word."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":252.27,"endTime":254.82,"body":"Suck it vocabulary kiss my ass."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":254.97,"endTime":255.93,"body":"She actually doesn't."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":257.519,"endTime":260.459,"body":"Okay, well, this is just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":257.519,"endTime":260.459,"body":"something that's like, I want"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":260.459,"endTime":263.339,"body":"people to understand that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":260.459,"endTime":263.339,"body":"forgiveness just doesn't happen"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":263.339,"endTime":268.769,"body":"overnight. It's not like a one"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":263.339,"endTime":268.769,"body":"time event where you just like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":268.769,"endTime":271.319,"body":"say, Okay, I'm just gonna"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":268.769,"endTime":271.319,"body":"forgive somebody and everything"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":271.319,"endTime":274.529,"body":"is cool. I mean, it really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":271.319,"endTime":274.529,"body":"requires some like patience and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":274.529,"endTime":277.289,"body":"empathy and actual self"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":274.529,"endTime":277.289,"body":"reflection."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":278.55,"endTime":281.34,"body":"Yeah, yeah. No, it does. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":278.55,"endTime":281.34,"body":"think Do you agree with that?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":281.37,"endTime":284.1,"body":"Yes, absolutely. I think that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":281.37,"endTime":284.1,"body":"when most people think about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":284.1,"endTime":288.66,"body":"forgiveness, because I'm most"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":284.1,"endTime":288.66,"body":"people, I think, um, it's sort"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":288.66,"endTime":292.65,"body":"of like, forget about it, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":288.66,"endTime":292.65,"body":"you just move on, and you sweep"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":292.65,"endTime":295.8,"body":"that under the rug and let's go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":292.65,"endTime":295.8,"body":"about our business. There are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":295.8,"endTime":299.46,"body":"also times where you've been put"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":295.8,"endTime":299.46,"body":"into position where you might"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":299.7,"endTime":303.21,"body":"call Don't quote, forgive"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":299.7,"endTime":303.21,"body":"someone, and you can never"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":303.21,"endTime":307.74,"body":"really actually do it. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":303.21,"endTime":307.74,"body":"there's it's dynamic. There's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":307.74,"endTime":312.0,"body":"lot of moving parts to this, as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":307.74,"endTime":312.0,"body":"it pertains to our conversation,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":312.24,"endTime":315.84,"body":"this came from a group of people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":312.24,"endTime":315.84,"body":"that are dealing with a loved"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":315.84,"endTime":319.29,"body":"one. Generally a partner, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":315.84,"endTime":319.29,"body":"think, I don't think I'm at a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":319.29,"endTime":324.3,"body":"line saying naturally a partner"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":319.29,"endTime":324.3,"body":"of theirs, who has done them"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":324.3,"endTime":328.62,"body":"dirty, multiple times has done"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":324.3,"endTime":328.62,"body":"them wrong over the years, time"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":328.62,"endTime":333.84,"body":"and time again. And they want to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":328.62,"endTime":333.84,"body":"forgive. But they're not sure a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":333.84,"endTime":338.46,"body":"if they should be how to go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":333.84,"endTime":338.46,"body":"about it. And what does that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":338.46,"endTime":339.39,"body":"mean moving forward?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":339.42,"endTime":341.94,"body":"Yeah. And this is also"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":339.42,"endTime":341.94,"body":"for forgiving yourself as well."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":342.15,"endTime":344.79,"body":"A lot of people in our group"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":342.15,"endTime":344.79,"body":"that have asked about this,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":344.79,"endTime":347.01,"body":"they've had issues with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":344.79,"endTime":347.01,"body":"forgiving themselves."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":347.04,"endTime":349.89,"body":"Yeah, there's stuff that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":347.04,"endTime":349.89,"body":"we've done. It's tough to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":349.89,"endTime":350.94,"body":"forgive yourself for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":350.97,"endTime":352.71,"body":"right you hold on too"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":350.97,"endTime":352.71,"body":"tight. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":353.55,"endTime":355.5,"body":"I'm never letting that go."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":353.55,"endTime":355.5,"body":"You just live with the shame"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":355.5,"endTime":359.46,"body":"that goes along with it. Right,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":355.5,"endTime":359.46,"body":"which gets you stuck. Okay, so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":359.46,"endTime":362.22,"body":"tell me what forgiveness is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":359.46,"endTime":362.22,"body":"then. Okay. What is healthy"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":362.22,"endTime":363.18,"body":"forgiveness look like?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":363.21,"endTime":365.85,"body":"So letting go of anger"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":363.21,"endTime":365.85,"body":"and resentment towards someone"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":365.85,"endTime":368.07,"body":"who has wronged you wronged you?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":365.85,"endTime":368.07,"body":"That's like the whole point of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":368.07,"endTime":370.98,"body":"forgiveness. You want to let go"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":368.07,"endTime":370.98,"body":"of that anger when you are not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":371.01,"endTime":373.44,"body":"when you haven't forgiven?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":371.01,"endTime":373.44,"body":"Somebody? I was going to say"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":373.44,"endTime":376.02,"body":"something else, and it did not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":373.44,"endTime":376.02,"body":"pop out right in my mouth. I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":376.02,"endTime":379.17,"body":"sorry. When you haven't forgiven"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":376.02,"endTime":379.17,"body":"somebody, you're usually pretty"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":379.17,"endTime":381.96,"body":"frickin angry. Right? Like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":379.17,"endTime":381.96,"body":"you're so mad at this person"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":381.96,"endTime":384.24,"body":"that you want them to feel pain?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":384.6,"endTime":389.46,"body":"Yeah, this is the biatch"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":384.6,"endTime":389.46,"body":"of resentment, resent. I've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":389.46,"endTime":393.9,"body":"heard more, you know, quirky"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":389.46,"endTime":393.9,"body":"things about resentment and my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":394.11,"endTime":399.81,"body":"decade in AAA than you could"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":394.11,"endTime":399.81,"body":"ever imagine. But resentment is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":399.81,"endTime":405.75,"body":"like feeding a stray cat. I used"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":399.81,"endTime":405.75,"body":"to hate it when they go away"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":405.75,"endTime":409.77,"body":"when you stop feeding them."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":405.75,"endTime":409.77,"body":"Resentment is like drinking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":409.77,"endTime":413.43,"body":"poison and expecting the other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":409.77,"endTime":413.43,"body":"person to die. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":414.96,"endTime":417.81,"body":"We can rationally say"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":414.96,"endTime":417.81,"body":"these things. I know I've said"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":417.84,"endTime":419.82,"body":"that's why I'm like pausing"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":417.84,"endTime":419.82,"body":"because you know where I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":419.82,"endTime":421.29,"body":"going, Oh, leading you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":421.29,"endTime":423.3,"body":"into this. Ended up for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":421.29,"endTime":423.3,"body":"early."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":424.32,"endTime":426.87,"body":"Told me to do this for 10"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":426.9,"endTime":429.81,"body":"For Kinnear, tell me why I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":426.9,"endTime":429.81,"body":"was wrong and saying those"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":429.81,"endTime":430.62,"body":"things at the time."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":431.01,"endTime":435.36,"body":"I wasn't ready to forgive"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":431.01,"endTime":435.36,"body":"somebody or forgive their"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":435.39,"endTime":437.67,"body":"issues, because I thought I was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":435.39,"endTime":437.67,"body":"condoning something."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":438.33,"endTime":441.42,"body":"And the fact that this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":438.33,"endTime":441.42,"body":"behavior was still happening."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":441.42,"endTime":441.69,"body":"Yeah, that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":441.69,"endTime":444.75,"body":"was gonna say that, too,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":441.69,"endTime":444.75,"body":"is that the it's a continual"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":444.93,"endTime":448.35,"body":"pattern of behaviors that never"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":444.93,"endTime":448.35,"body":"change. So it's hard to forgive"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":448.35,"endTime":450.99,"body":"somebody who's continually doing"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":448.35,"endTime":450.99,"body":"the same thing over and over"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":450.99,"endTime":451.86,"body":"again and hurting you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":451.89,"endTime":455.22,"body":"forgive someone in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":451.89,"endTime":455.22,"body":"traditional sense that, that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":455.22,"endTime":458.61,"body":"we're just like, we're good."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":455.22,"endTime":458.61,"body":"shaking their hands. Hey, we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":458.61,"endTime":459.57,"body":"fine now. Right?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":459.93,"endTime":464.25,"body":"Because that's what"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":459.93,"endTime":464.25,"body":"forgiveness was. Yeah. But"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":464.28,"endTime":472.89,"body":"that's not what it is. So. So,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":464.28,"endTime":472.89,"body":"did you want me to say what else"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":472.89,"endTime":473.49,"body":"it is?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":473.58,"endTime":475.44,"body":"I teed that up for you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":473.58,"endTime":475.44,"body":"We've been doing this for a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":475.44,"endTime":478.74,"body":"minute now doing what we've got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":475.44,"endTime":478.74,"body":"10,000 people that listen to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":478.74,"endTime":480.36,"body":"this thing? We're not Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":481.98,"endTime":482.97,"body":"Goal is this."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":485.19,"endTime":487.59,"body":"Okay, so I'm just gonna"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":485.19,"endTime":487.59,"body":"say it's a process of healing"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":487.59,"endTime":491.01,"body":"and moving forward. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":487.59,"endTime":491.01,"body":"acknowledging the pain caused by"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":491.01,"endTime":494.7,"body":"someone's actions. Yeah. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":491.01,"endTime":494.7,"body":"empathizing with the person who"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":494.7,"endTime":499.32,"body":"wronged you. That's hard. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":494.7,"endTime":499.32,"body":"setting boundaries to protect"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":499.32,"endTime":503.13,"body":"yourself from further harm. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":499.32,"endTime":503.13,"body":"releasing uncomfortable emotions"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":503.13,"endTime":506.1,"body":"and finding peace. It's taking"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":503.13,"endTime":506.1,"body":"responsibility for your own"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":506.1,"endTime":509.37,"body":"healing and happiness. And it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":506.1,"endTime":509.37,"body":"a gift to yourself. It's a gift"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":509.37,"endTime":511.98,"body":"you give yourself not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":509.37,"endTime":511.98,"body":"necessarily the other person."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":512.01,"endTime":514.86,"body":"That right there. Yep. All"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":512.01,"endTime":514.86,"body":"right, their most important"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":514.86,"endTime":517.17,"body":"piece I think anyone can the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":514.86,"endTime":517.17,"body":"fear of taking one thing away"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":517.17,"endTime":520.83,"body":"from this episode. Forgiveness"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":517.17,"endTime":520.83,"body":"as a gift you give yourself"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":520.86,"endTime":523.11,"body":"you're not giving the other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":520.86,"endTime":523.11,"body":"person necessarily anything."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":523.44,"endTime":526.98,"body":"You're freeing yourself from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":523.44,"endTime":526.98,"body":"that. That ik that resentment"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":526.98,"endTime":527.91,"body":"and that anger,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":527.94,"endTime":530.55,"body":"yes. But we're, like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":527.94,"endTime":530.55,"body":"programmed to think that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":530.55,"endTime":534.66,"body":"forgiveness is like, a gift."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":530.55,"endTime":534.66,"body":"We're giving that person instead"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":534.66,"endTime":535.59,"body":"of ourselves."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":535.62,"endTime":539.37,"body":"Yeah, it's for you. Right."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":535.62,"endTime":539.37,"body":"Not for them. Right. Not for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":539.37,"endTime":543.15,"body":"them. Yeah. Like you make amends"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":539.37,"endTime":543.15,"body":"for other people. But letting go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":543.15,"endTime":544.5,"body":"of resentment is for you."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":544.53,"endTime":547.32,"body":"Yeah. So I'm gonna say"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":544.53,"endTime":547.32,"body":"these things that forgiveness"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":547.65,"endTime":550.71,"body":"isn't so that you can see that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":547.65,"endTime":550.71,"body":"this is not there's a gray area"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":550.71,"endTime":552.75,"body":"with all of this. It's not all"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":550.71,"endTime":552.75,"body":"or nothing black or white. You"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":552.75,"endTime":553.74,"body":"know, it's always a gray area."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":553.77,"endTime":555.84,"body":"Can I say something?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":553.77,"endTime":555.84,"body":"Yeah, no quick go for it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":555.93,"endTime":559.32,"body":"So before you get to what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":555.93,"endTime":559.32,"body":"forgiveness isn't, um, let me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":559.32,"endTime":561.75,"body":"just relate this back to the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":559.32,"endTime":561.75,"body":"things that I've worked through"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":561.75,"endTime":564.93,"body":"with. I don't know how many"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":561.75,"endTime":564.93,"body":"people over the years."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":565.86,"endTime":569.34,"body":"Generally, when people have a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":565.86,"endTime":569.34,"body":"drinking problem and addiction"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":569.34,"endTime":573.03,"body":"of some kind, it's tied to a lot"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":569.34,"endTime":573.03,"body":"of deep seated resentment. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":573.03,"endTime":577.11,"body":"so we work through a lot of this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":573.03,"endTime":577.11,"body":"stuff, and a list of resentments"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":577.11,"endTime":579.96,"body":"like what makes you angry, what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":577.11,"endTime":579.96,"body":"makes you tick? What do you stay"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":579.96,"endTime":583.86,"body":"mad at? Because a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":579.96,"endTime":583.86,"body":"when they feel that that feeling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":583.86,"endTime":587.46,"body":"that anger and that that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":583.86,"endTime":587.46,"body":"resentment, better term, they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":587.46,"endTime":590.97,"body":"want to go away and so they know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":587.46,"endTime":590.97,"body":"it takes tough to do it. Some of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":590.97,"endTime":593.67,"body":"them are like very justified"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":590.97,"endTime":593.67,"body":"like there's some people have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":593.67,"endTime":597.42,"body":"been physically or sexually"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":593.67,"endTime":597.42,"body":"abused, right. There's some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":597.42,"endTime":603.0,"body":"others where it's like, hate the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":597.42,"endTime":603.0,"body":"IRS. Okay, we all do, what are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":603.0,"endTime":605.31,"body":"we gonna do about that, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":603.0,"endTime":605.31,"body":"know, death and taxes, death in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":605.31,"endTime":610.08,"body":"taxes, two guarantees in life."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":605.31,"endTime":610.08,"body":"So, but they can eat away as in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":610.08,"endTime":613.86,"body":"different ways. And the one"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":610.08,"endTime":613.86,"body":"thing that's that I wanted to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":613.86,"endTime":616.5,"body":"make the point of is that when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":613.86,"endTime":616.5,"body":"these people are angry when I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":616.5,"endTime":620.1,"body":"was doing this stuff, too, and I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":616.5,"endTime":620.1,"body":"had my anger and resentment, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":620.1,"endTime":623.94,"body":"only person that really suffered"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":620.1,"endTime":623.94,"body":"was me that you know, like, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":623.94,"endTime":627.09,"body":"was drinking at things and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":623.94,"endTime":627.09,"body":"drinking at people and I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":627.87,"endTime":630.69,"body":"trying to take it away but who"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":627.87,"endTime":630.69,"body":"suffered me and my loved ones,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":630.72,"endTime":633.45,"body":"right? It's it's a screwed up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":630.72,"endTime":633.45,"body":"cycle we put ourselves in, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":633.45,"endTime":633.6,"body":"no"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":633.6,"endTime":635.88,"body":"different for the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":633.6,"endTime":635.88,"body":"codependent, we get so normal"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":635.88,"endTime":639.9,"body":"into our anger, like that's the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":635.88,"endTime":639.9,"body":"only it's comfortable to be in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":639.9,"endTime":642.0,"body":"that anger and anger,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":639.9,"endTime":642.0,"body":"comfortable. Sometimes it is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":642.0,"endTime":644.46,"body":"because it's what you know, it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":642.0,"endTime":644.46,"body":"what you've normalized. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":644.46,"endTime":647.16,"body":"like that's your pattern of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":644.46,"endTime":647.16,"body":"behavior. And it's scary to get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":647.16,"endTime":649.38,"body":"out of it. Because you don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":647.16,"endTime":649.38,"body":"know what it's like on the other"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":649.38,"endTime":649.98,"body":"side."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":650.1,"endTime":652.62,"body":"Yeah, that's a you put it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":650.1,"endTime":652.62,"body":"perfectly there's such there's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":652.62,"endTime":655.53,"body":"something so comforting about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":652.62,"endTime":655.53,"body":"being in anger. Like for me, it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":655.53,"endTime":658.83,"body":"was always a, it felt like a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":655.53,"endTime":658.83,"body":"familiar place for me for some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":658.83,"endTime":660.84,"body":"reason, like, I don't know if I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":658.83,"endTime":660.84,"body":"was just wired that way from the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":660.84,"endTime":665.28,"body":"get go. But I just always felt"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":660.84,"endTime":665.28,"body":"like I was sharper when I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":665.28,"endTime":669.63,"body":"angry. And like I was more I had"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":665.28,"endTime":669.63,"body":"for all purpose. Yeah, you just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":669.63,"endTime":672.75,"body":"said it. Like, I felt like I had"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":669.63,"endTime":672.75,"body":"some semblance of control"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":672.75,"endTime":675.21,"body":"faculty when I was mad at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":672.75,"endTime":675.21,"body":"people. And I was doing things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":675.21,"endTime":679.29,"body":"to spite other people like it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":675.21,"endTime":679.29,"body":"It kind of feels good, in a way."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":679.29,"endTime":679.59,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":679.65,"endTime":682.11,"body":"it's like a release, but"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":679.65,"endTime":682.11,"body":"it's dangerous, very dangerous,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":682.11,"endTime":684.6,"body":"because it gets worse and worse"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":682.11,"endTime":684.6,"body":"and worse, and then it becomes a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":684.6,"endTime":685.92,"body":"very unhealthy outlet."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":686.13,"endTime":689.19,"body":"Alright, so I think that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":686.13,"endTime":689.19,"body":"I think those are those were"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":689.19,"endTime":692.46,"body":"nice, little subtext to that. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":689.19,"endTime":692.46,"body":"what was what you were about to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":692.46,"endTime":696.03,"body":"talk about, which is, what is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":692.46,"endTime":696.03,"body":"forgiveness? Not? forgiveness"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":696.06,"endTime":697.05,"body":"isn't what?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":697.74,"endTime":700.56,"body":"Ignoring or denying the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":697.74,"endTime":700.56,"body":"harm caused by someone's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":700.56,"endTime":701.88,"body":"actions? And that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":701.88,"endTime":704.55,"body":"deep was can we dig into"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":701.88,"endTime":704.55,"body":"that for just a second? Yeah. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":704.55,"endTime":708.66,"body":"when you forgive someone, you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":704.55,"endTime":708.66,"body":"not ignoring or denying yourself"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":708.66,"endTime":711.57,"body":"that these things happened?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":708.66,"endTime":711.57,"body":"Yeah. That's powerful, right?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":712.05,"endTime":712.71,"body":"That's huge."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":713.43,"endTime":716.49,"body":"It's not a one time event"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":713.43,"endTime":716.49,"body":"that erases the past. So what I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":716.49,"endTime":719.46,"body":"said earlier, it's like it's a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":716.49,"endTime":719.46,"body":"process. It's not something that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":719.46,"endTime":723.81,"body":"can be happened like that. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":719.46,"endTime":723.81,"body":"not that simple. excusing or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":723.81,"endTime":727.11,"body":"justifying the harm caused by"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":723.81,"endTime":727.11,"body":"someone's actions. That's not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":727.11,"endTime":730.98,"body":"what forgiveness is absolving"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":727.11,"endTime":730.98,"body":"the person of responsibility for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":730.98,"endTime":731.91,"body":"their actions."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":731.97,"endTime":733.62,"body":"You're not doing that when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":731.97,"endTime":733.62,"body":"you forgive."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":735.15,"endTime":738.18,"body":"But it feels like it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":735.15,"endTime":738.18,"body":"feels that way. I don't know."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":738.209,"endTime":740.699,"body":"Why do we feel like we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":738.209,"endTime":740.699,"body":"forgive someone, we're just it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":740.699,"endTime":742.799,"body":"was condoning like we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":740.699,"endTime":742.799,"body":"condoning. It's kind of like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":742.799,"endTime":744.689,"body":"that validation, verse condoning"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":742.799,"endTime":744.689,"body":"thing."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":744.72,"endTime":748.35,"body":"It's like we're allowing"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":744.72,"endTime":748.35,"body":"them to win when we know we've"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":748.35,"endTime":748.98,"body":"been harmed."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":749.01,"endTime":751.92,"body":"Oh, yeah. It's like you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":749.01,"endTime":751.92,"body":"just want on me? I just gave you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":751.92,"endTime":754.89,"body":"that. Yeah, it's an ego thing."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":751.92,"endTime":754.89,"body":"You get to chalk that one up on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":754.89,"endTime":757.77,"body":"your little list of people that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":754.89,"endTime":757.77,"body":"I've screwed over in life, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":757.8,"endTime":760.62,"body":"I'm that person. Yeah. Not on my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":757.8,"endTime":760.62,"body":"watch. Pow."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":760.65,"endTime":763.53,"body":"Right. So also, like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":760.65,"endTime":763.53,"body":"it's not allowing the person to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":763.53,"endTime":767.13,"body":"continue to hurt you. Did I say"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":763.53,"endTime":767.13,"body":"that before? No, no did the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":767.13,"endTime":769.26,"body":"other one because that was a big"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":767.13,"endTime":769.26,"body":"one, allowing the person to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":769.26,"endTime":771.75,"body":"continue to hurt you. Like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":769.26,"endTime":771.75,"body":"you're not this doesn't mean"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":771.75,"endTime":775.11,"body":"we're allowing this to happen."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":771.75,"endTime":775.11,"body":"It's all for you. It's not for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":775.11,"endTime":779.94,"body":"the other person. Yeah. I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":775.11,"endTime":779.94,"body":"relying on someone else to make"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":779.94,"endTime":783.21,"body":"things right for you. And then"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":779.94,"endTime":783.21,"body":"like we said earlier, a gift you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":783.21,"endTime":786.0,"body":"give to the person who wronged"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":783.21,"endTime":786.0,"body":"you. It's not your it's the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":786.0,"endTime":791.61,"body":"forgiveness is all about you."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":786.0,"endTime":791.61,"body":"It's almost, it's not selfish,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":791.61,"endTime":795.0,"body":"but it is a very big form of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":791.61,"endTime":795.0,"body":"self care. What's that?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":795.21,"endTime":796.05,"body":"Forgiving serving"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":796.05,"endTime":800.25,"body":"someone? Oh, it's huge."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":796.05,"endTime":800.25,"body":"Yes. It's vital, I think, to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":800.25,"endTime":802.77,"body":"release yourself of that anger"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":800.25,"endTime":802.77,"body":"so that you can live in peace"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":802.77,"endTime":805.77,"body":"and you can live without that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":802.77,"endTime":805.77,"body":"resentment that feels the anger"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":805.77,"endTime":810.18,"body":"and the spite and the the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":805.77,"endTime":810.18,"body":"thoughts like I'm one of these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":810.18,"endTime":813.93,"body":"people that I can have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":810.18,"endTime":813.93,"body":"conversations in my head, like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":813.93,"endTime":816.48,"body":"full blown conversations with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":813.93,"endTime":816.48,"body":"someone when I've been wronged"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":816.48,"endTime":820.77,"body":"by somebody. I can replay that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":816.48,"endTime":820.77,"body":"tape. And like, I will talk to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":820.77,"endTime":823.14,"body":"myself like if you filmed me my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":820.77,"endTime":823.14,"body":"car, you would think that I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":823.14,"endTime":826.65,"body":"insane. No, we all do that. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":823.14,"endTime":826.65,"body":"not just me here that went out"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":826.65,"endTime":828.69,"body":"on a limb. I was making"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":826.65,"endTime":828.69,"body":"sure no, that's pretty normal."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":829.05,"endTime":831.36,"body":"That we put these fake scenarios"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":829.05,"endTime":831.36,"body":"in our head, man,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":831.36,"endTime":833.7,"body":"I know we fight with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":831.36,"endTime":833.7,"body":"people and argue with people and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":833.7,"endTime":836.73,"body":"stand up for myself and I will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":833.7,"endTime":836.73,"body":"do all these things. But in that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":836.73,"endTime":839.37,"body":"moment, like I'm angry, like, if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":836.73,"endTime":839.37,"body":"you were to take my polls, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":839.37,"endTime":843.15,"body":"higher. Like I'm not I'm not at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":839.37,"endTime":843.15,"body":"peace. I'm not thinking about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":843.15,"endTime":845.82,"body":"being present. I'm not thinking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":843.15,"endTime":845.82,"body":"about what I need to do to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":845.82,"endTime":848.67,"body":"better today. I'm just freaking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":845.82,"endTime":848.67,"body":"angry. It's almost like an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":848.67,"endTime":852.06,"body":"addiction in itself. Exactly."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":848.67,"endTime":852.06,"body":"It's kind of good. Exactly. When"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":852.06,"endTime":856.8,"body":"we forgive, it's for us. Yep. Be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":852.06,"endTime":856.8,"body":"selfish about it. It is self"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":856.8,"endTime":860.97,"body":"care. Yes, it is self care. All"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":856.8,"endTime":860.97,"body":"right. So I think that's that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":860.97,"endTime":862.71,"body":"huge. We've kind of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":860.97,"endTime":862.71,"body":"distinguished what forgiveness"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":862.71,"endTime":866.37,"body":"actually is what it is. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":862.71,"endTime":866.37,"body":"think what it isn't is more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":866.37,"endTime":869.46,"body":"powerful than what it actually"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":866.37,"endTime":869.46,"body":"is great. Because what it isn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":869.46,"endTime":871.92,"body":"really defines all the things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":869.46,"endTime":871.92,"body":"that like the misnomers we have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":871.92,"endTime":874.89,"body":"about forgiveness in itself."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":871.92,"endTime":874.89,"body":"It's like, all these things you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":874.89,"endTime":877.44,"body":"think it is it's not it's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":874.89,"endTime":877.44,"body":"it's not just forgiving this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":877.44,"endTime":880.89,"body":"person for like continued abuse."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":877.44,"endTime":880.89,"body":"It's not forgiving them for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":880.95,"endTime":882.36,"body":"allowing to continue to hurt"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":882.39,"endTime":884.79,"body":"badly. It's not allowing"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":882.39,"endTime":884.79,"body":"them it's not excusing or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":884.79,"endTime":889.02,"body":"justifying. Right. Which I've"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":884.79,"endTime":889.02,"body":"always felt that way like no, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":889.41,"endTime":894.51,"body":"am. I'm supposed to be mad right"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":889.41,"endTime":894.51,"body":"now. Yeah, I deserved to be mad"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":894.51,"endTime":898.56,"body":"right now. I was treated poorly."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":894.51,"endTime":898.56,"body":"Yeah. How dare you. I need to be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":898.56,"endTime":901.77,"body":"angry. I don't want to forgive"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":898.56,"endTime":901.77,"body":"you. How dare you I allow that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":901.77,"endTime":903.99,"body":"happen? Why would I let you win?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":901.77,"endTime":903.99,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":904.05,"endTime":906.54,"body":"like we're sitting here"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":904.05,"endTime":906.54,"body":"bashing anger, like really bad,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":906.54,"endTime":911.67,"body":"like, angry and all bad. Anger"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":906.54,"endTime":911.67,"body":"serves a purpose. I think that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":911.7,"endTime":915.0,"body":"it's a red flag. Yeah, anger"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":911.7,"endTime":915.0,"body":"serves a purpose. It's I mean, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":915.0,"endTime":918.09,"body":"think that all emotions are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":915.0,"endTime":918.09,"body":"created equally. And so like, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":918.09,"endTime":920.79,"body":"look at them all, at least they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":918.09,"endTime":920.79,"body":"serve a purpose in me. So like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":920.79,"endTime":923.97,"body":"when I'm angry, it's obvious"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":920.79,"endTime":923.97,"body":"that I've been harmed. Sometimes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":923.97,"endTime":927.72,"body":"it's sometimes I'm in I'm in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":923.97,"endTime":927.72,"body":"wrong and it's my ego. But other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":927.72,"endTime":930.33,"body":"times it's it's there to let me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":927.72,"endTime":930.33,"body":"know that like someone's crossed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":930.33,"endTime":933.48,"body":"a boundary that maybe I didn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":930.33,"endTime":933.48,"body":"even know existed there, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":933.63,"endTime":938.16,"body":"know? Yep. So it is important,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":933.63,"endTime":938.16,"body":"it is important, but if you keep"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":938.16,"endTime":941.64,"body":"it around too long, it will just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":938.16,"endTime":941.64,"body":"rot you from the inside. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":941.67,"endTime":947.01,"body":"man. It's like, it's terrible."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":941.67,"endTime":947.01,"body":"So when it comes to forgiveness,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":947.91,"endTime":951.9,"body":"possibly the most difficult"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":947.91,"endTime":951.9,"body":"thing, and let me provide some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":951.9,"endTime":954.78,"body":"context. So I'm thinking about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":951.9,"endTime":954.78,"body":"the way that I've worked through"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":954.78,"endTime":957.45,"body":"this myself and the way that I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":954.78,"endTime":957.45,"body":"work other people through this,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":957.78,"endTime":961.23,"body":"when I'm working through the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":957.78,"endTime":961.23,"body":"steps with them, coaching them"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":961.26,"endTime":964.89,"body":"sobriety and whatnot. There have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":961.26,"endTime":964.89,"body":"been people that I've worked"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":964.89,"endTime":971.46,"body":"with who have been deeply harmed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":964.89,"endTime":971.46,"body":"by others. And I say that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":971.46,"endTime":977.01,"body":"because I can pretty much always"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":971.46,"endTime":977.01,"body":"find someone's part in a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":977.01,"endTime":980.49,"body":"disagreement where they have a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":977.01,"endTime":980.49,"body":"resentment. Like, if you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":980.49,"endTime":984.06,"body":"resentful at the IRS, like that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":980.49,"endTime":984.06,"body":"stupid example. Yeah. Because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":984.06,"endTime":986.67,"body":"you didn't file your taxes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":984.06,"endTime":986.67,"body":"correctly, you're mad because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":986.67,"endTime":991.71,"body":"you hit income? Like, come on."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":986.67,"endTime":991.71,"body":"You have a part in that? Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":991.95,"endTime":994.89,"body":"What about when you're a child"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":991.95,"endTime":994.89,"body":"and you're abused? Yeah, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":994.89,"endTime":997.74,"body":"don't have a part in that. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":994.89,"endTime":997.74,"body":"so you sit there, and your heart"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":997.74,"endTime":1000.17,"body":"just breaks for this person,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":997.74,"endTime":1000.17,"body":"because it's like, they didn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1000.17,"endTime":1003.29,"body":"do anything wrong. They didn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1000.17,"endTime":1003.29,"body":"do anything wrong. This person"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1003.29,"endTime":1007.34,"body":"is just, you know, revealing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1003.29,"endTime":1007.34,"body":"their soul and like, what this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1007.34,"endTime":1011.09,"body":"has done to them. And then in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1007.34,"endTime":1011.09,"body":"that moment, I'm like, the only"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1011.09,"endTime":1013.94,"body":"part that you have in this is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1011.09,"endTime":1013.94,"body":"that you are now in your 40s."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1014.06,"endTime":1017.15,"body":"And this defines you, and that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1014.06,"endTime":1017.15,"body":"you're not a survivor, you are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1017.15,"endTime":1021.2,"body":"still living in this. And so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1017.15,"endTime":1021.2,"body":"when we, when I worked through"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1021.2,"endTime":1024.62,"body":"this stuff, how do you forgive"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1021.2,"endTime":1024.62,"body":"something like that? How do you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1024.62,"endTime":1027.74,"body":"forgive someone that has"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1024.62,"endTime":1027.74,"body":"gaslight you into insanity? And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1027.74,"endTime":1030.8,"body":"stolen 10 years of your life?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1027.74,"endTime":1030.8,"body":"How do you forgive someone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1030.8,"endTime":1033.74,"body":"that's lied to your face? How do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1030.8,"endTime":1033.74,"body":"you forgive someone that's put"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1033.74,"endTime":1036.92,"body":"your children in danger? Or your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1033.74,"endTime":1036.92,"body":"lives in danger? How do you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1036.92,"endTime":1040.1,"body":"forgive someone that's just, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1036.92,"endTime":1040.1,"body":"know, done you wrong for years,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1040.1,"endTime":1044.57,"body":"and years and years. So a way"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1040.1,"endTime":1044.57,"body":"that I found effective is you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1044.57,"endTime":1052.37,"body":"have to separate the abuse from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1044.57,"endTime":1052.37,"body":"the abuser. So the abuse cannot"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1052.61,"endTime":1056.72,"body":"be forgotten, nor do I think it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1052.61,"endTime":1056.72,"body":"should be forgotten. But the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1056.72,"endTime":1062.84,"body":"abuser is different. You can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1056.72,"endTime":1062.84,"body":"forgive an abuser. And the way"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1062.84,"endTime":1066.68,"body":"you do that is you have to look"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1062.84,"endTime":1066.68,"body":"at someone who is causing abuse."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1067.25,"endTime":1070.13,"body":"As someone who is deeply hurt"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1067.25,"endTime":1070.13,"body":"themselves, like the old saying,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1070.13,"endTime":1073.52,"body":"hurt people hurt people. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1070.13,"endTime":1073.52,"body":"very much like that, where"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1073.52,"endTime":1076.73,"body":"you've got someone who is rather"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1073.52,"endTime":1076.73,"body":"than looking at them as a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1076.73,"endTime":1079.4,"body":"monster who has just caused you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1076.73,"endTime":1079.4,"body":"harm, you have to think of that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1079.4,"endTime":1085.76,"body":"person is incredibly sick and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1079.4,"endTime":1085.76,"body":"form some sort of empathy. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1085.79,"endTime":1088.07,"body":"now in the situation where"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1085.79,"endTime":1088.07,"body":"you've been sexually abused as a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1088.07,"endTime":1091.49,"body":"child, that's incredibly effing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1088.07,"endTime":1091.49,"body":"difficult, right? That's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1091.49,"endTime":1094.76,"body":"incredibly difficult to know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1091.49,"endTime":1094.76,"body":"that this person is so sick,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1094.76,"endTime":1097.37,"body":"that they would harm a child,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1094.76,"endTime":1097.37,"body":"but they're out there. And these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1097.37,"endTime":1099.68,"body":"people are sick, you have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1097.37,"endTime":1099.68,"body":"realize that normal people don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1099.68,"endTime":1103.16,"body":"act this way. Sick people act"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1099.68,"endTime":1103.16,"body":"this way sick people cause"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1103.16,"endTime":1107.75,"body":"abuse, people who are deeply"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1103.16,"endTime":1107.75,"body":"disturbed, cause abuse and in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1107.75,"endTime":1111.38,"body":"just maybe a glimmer of that I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1107.75,"endTime":1111.38,"body":"can find some empathy sometimes,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1111.68,"endTime":1116.12,"body":"just enough to say, I can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1111.68,"endTime":1116.12,"body":"forgive you, but I will never"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1116.12,"endTime":1120.35,"body":"forgive the abuse nor forget it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1116.12,"endTime":1120.35,"body":"And nor do I have to, you don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1120.35,"endTime":1123.62,"body":"have to forgive the abuse."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1120.35,"endTime":1123.62,"body":"That's what boundaries are for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1123.65,"endTime":1127.91,"body":"right moving forward. Are rules"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1123.65,"endTime":1127.91,"body":"of engagement for what it's like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1127.91,"endTime":1132.17,"body":"to be in a relationship with me."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1127.91,"endTime":1132.17,"body":"And I can see your face now and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1132.17,"endTime":1134.75,"body":"you're kind of reflecting on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1132.17,"endTime":1134.75,"body":"this stuff and like, living"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1134.75,"endTime":1139.94,"body":"through this like I would How"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1134.75,"endTime":1139.94,"body":"did you know? I know you man."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1142.16,"endTime":1145.07,"body":"I'm sorry, keep going. I know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1142.16,"endTime":1145.07,"body":"what you're gonna say before you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1145.07,"endTime":1149.06,"body":"say it live together for like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1145.07,"endTime":1149.06,"body":"ever. Hold eyes like raised in a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1149.06,"endTime":1154.88,"body":"cage together, basically, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1149.06,"endTime":1154.88,"body":"know, like a quick break in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1154.88,"endTime":1157.64,"body":"action to let you know about an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1154.88,"endTime":1157.64,"body":"exciting development in the Tufo"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1157.64,"endTime":1160.16,"body":"universe. 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That's why"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1178.79,"endTime":1181.31,"body":"they offer reliable and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1178.79,"endTime":1181.31,"body":"affordable services at 12"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1181.31,"endTime":1185.0,"body":"locations across Texas. 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Tailor counseling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1233.3,"endTime":1235.67,"body":"group is your partner on the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1233.3,"endTime":1235.67,"body":"path of mental wellness"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1235.73,"endTime":1238.34,"body":"experienced professional"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1235.73,"endTime":1238.34,"body":"affordable care that puts you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1238.34,"endTime":1242.39,"body":"first visit their website,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1238.34,"endTime":1242.39,"body":"tailor counseling group.com, or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1242.39,"endTime":1244.52,"body":"call them today to schedule an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1242.39,"endTime":1244.52,"body":"appointment and tell them to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1244.52,"endTime":1246.98,"body":"focus I'll send you a link and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1244.52,"endTime":1246.98,"body":"phone number is going to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1246.98,"endTime":1252.92,"body":"available in the show notes and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1246.98,"endTime":1252.92,"body":"back to the action. But anyway,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1253.4,"endTime":1257.72,"body":"I would love for you to open up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1253.4,"endTime":1257.72,"body":"a little bit and talk about what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1257.72,"endTime":1262.1,"body":"we went through and what I put"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1257.72,"endTime":1262.1,"body":"you through and how you were"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1262.1,"endTime":1265.79,"body":"able to forgive or Have you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1262.1,"endTime":1265.79,"body":"forgiven at all? I don't know."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1265.82,"endTime":1267.59,"body":"Like Have you forgiven it all?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1267.95,"endTime":1271.1,"body":"Yes, I have forgiven I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1267.95,"endTime":1271.1,"body":"have forgiven you because you've"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1271.16,"endTime":1274.28,"body":"changed your ways. That's the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1271.16,"endTime":1274.28,"body":"difference. You have been able"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1274.28,"endTime":1279.32,"body":"to show me that you don't treat"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1274.28,"endTime":1279.32,"body":"me how you treated me before."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1280.31,"endTime":1284.75,"body":"That's kind of different. So how"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1280.31,"endTime":1284.75,"body":"do you if the hard part is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1284.75,"endTime":1288.32,"body":"forgiving people who are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1284.75,"endTime":1288.32,"body":"continually hurting you? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1288.47,"endTime":1293.45,"body":"that's the hard part. Yeah, so"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1288.47,"endTime":1293.45,"body":"how can you do that? I have some"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1293.45,"endTime":1296.75,"body":"guides on that. But yeah, but"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1293.45,"endTime":1296.75,"body":"for me personally, like within"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1296.75,"endTime":1300.71,"body":"our situation, it did take a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1296.75,"endTime":1300.71,"body":"long time for me to forgive you."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1301.97,"endTime":1307.1,"body":"But I, I just admired you for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1301.97,"endTime":1307.1,"body":"being open and honest and, and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1307.52,"endTime":1312.5,"body":"working on what you've done to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1307.52,"endTime":1312.5,"body":"hurt me that you don't do that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1312.5,"endTime":1315.89,"body":"anymore. So yeah, I forgave you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1312.5,"endTime":1315.89,"body":"forgive you for the lies and the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1316.76,"endTime":1319.16,"body":"manipulation and all of it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1319.28,"endTime":1322.73,"body":"And as the abuser, I had"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1319.28,"endTime":1322.73,"body":"to come to terms with the fact"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1322.73,"endTime":1326.51,"body":"that I had done these things and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1322.73,"endTime":1326.51,"body":"make amends proper amends, which"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1326.51,"endTime":1330.41,"body":"is, you know, proper apology has"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1326.51,"endTime":1330.41,"body":"three parts. Yeah, three parts."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1330.95,"endTime":1334.61,"body":"What I did was wrong, I feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1330.95,"endTime":1334.61,"body":"terribly that I've hurt you, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1334.61,"endTime":1338.3,"body":"what can I do to make that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1334.61,"endTime":1338.3,"body":"right. And in our case, it was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1338.6,"endTime":1341.18,"body":"living amends. It's like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1338.6,"endTime":1341.18,"body":"there's nothing you can do to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1341.18,"endTime":1343.85,"body":"take back what you did, like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1341.18,"endTime":1343.85,"body":"there's nothing you can do that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1343.85,"endTime":1346.61,"body":"will make me feel okay about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1343.85,"endTime":1346.61,"body":"putting our daughter in danger,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1347.06,"endTime":1350.75,"body":"taking her to drug dealers"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1347.06,"endTime":1350.75,"body":"houses, and driving drunk and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1350.75,"endTime":1353.9,"body":"then with the family in the car,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1350.75,"endTime":1353.9,"body":"like I could never make that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1353.9,"endTime":1359.3,"body":"right. But the one thing I could"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1353.9,"endTime":1359.3,"body":"do is make a solemn oath to you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1360.29,"endTime":1364.82,"body":"to be better every single day,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1360.29,"endTime":1364.82,"body":"and to make living amends for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1364.82,"endTime":1367.79,"body":"that damage. That's all he can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1364.82,"endTime":1367.79,"body":"do you hurt someone that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1367.79,"endTime":1377.18,"body":"terribly hard thing? Well,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1367.79,"endTime":1377.18,"body":"you're worth it. You are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1377.18,"endTime":1378.05,"body":"worth it there."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1378.92,"endTime":1384.47,"body":"So separating abuse from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1378.92,"endTime":1384.47,"body":"the abuser does not mean that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1384.47,"endTime":1391.01,"body":"you excuse or justify their"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1384.47,"endTime":1391.01,"body":"actions. In the slightest, it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1391.01,"endTime":1394.79,"body":"means you're recognizing that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1391.01,"endTime":1394.79,"body":"people are incredibly complex,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1395.33,"endTime":1400.31,"body":"and that the person who hurt you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1395.33,"endTime":1400.31,"body":"is dealing with their own"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1400.31,"endTime":1403.79,"body":"struggles as well. Yep. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1400.31,"endTime":1403.79,"body":"their own challenges, their own"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1403.79,"endTime":1407.78,"body":"difficulties. That's, that's how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1403.79,"endTime":1407.78,"body":"you do it. And in that moment,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1407.78,"endTime":1411.47,"body":"you will be able to find some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1407.78,"endTime":1411.47,"body":"glimmer of empathy. Yes. To say,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1411.65,"endTime":1416.27,"body":"I can forgive that person. The"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1411.65,"endTime":1416.27,"body":"actions though. I will not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1416.27,"endTime":1421.04,"body":"tolerate, right. That's how you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1416.27,"endTime":1421.04,"body":"moving forward. That's that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1421.07,"endTime":1423.92,"body":"essentially draws your boundary"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1421.07,"endTime":1423.92,"body":"for you. Yeah, like I can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1423.92,"endTime":1427.25,"body":"forgive you. But this app is he"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1423.92,"endTime":1427.25,"body":"can't he be kidding me. Dude. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1427.25,"endTime":1432.86,"body":"will cut you. Damn. So if you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1427.25,"endTime":1432.86,"body":"struggling to separate the abuse"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1432.86,"endTime":1437.06,"body":"from the abuser, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1432.86,"endTime":1437.06,"body":"legitimately, it may be helpful"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1437.06,"endTime":1440.96,"body":"to seek the advice of a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1437.06,"endTime":1440.96,"body":"therapist or counselor Yep."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1440.96,"endTime":1443.72,"body":"Coach, someone who has been"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1440.96,"endTime":1443.72,"body":"through this before? Because it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1443.72,"endTime":1447.44,"body":"is every every issue like this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1443.72,"endTime":1447.44,"body":"is incredibly complex, and no"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1447.44,"endTime":1451.85,"body":"one can, it may be tough for you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1447.44,"endTime":1451.85,"body":"to just look at your situation"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1451.94,"endTime":1454.91,"body":"with your own eyes and say, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1451.94,"endTime":1454.91,"body":"that's that's what you do. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1454.91,"endTime":1456.83,"body":"have to have different set of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1454.91,"endTime":1456.83,"body":"eyes to look at that. Yeah, for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1456.83,"endTime":1461.21,"body":"sure. Okay, so when we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1456.83,"endTime":1461.21,"body":"talking about like the how of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1461.21,"endTime":1466.07,"body":"this, how in the world do you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1461.21,"endTime":1466.07,"body":"forgive someone who is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1466.07,"endTime":1469.28,"body":"continuing to hurt you or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1466.07,"endTime":1469.28,"body":"someone who has hurt you badly"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1469.28,"endTime":1472.28,"body":"and has not really made that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1469.28,"endTime":1472.28,"body":"right? How do you how do you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1472.31,"endTime":1474.08,"body":"cope with this? How do you deal"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1472.31,"endTime":1474.08,"body":"with this stuff?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1474.11,"endTime":1477.56,"body":"Okay, so we actually have"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1474.11,"endTime":1477.56,"body":"a guide on our website to help"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1477.56,"endTime":1482.09,"body":"people go through this process"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1477.56,"endTime":1482.09,"body":"and I've I've actually done"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1482.09,"endTime":1484.97,"body":"something similar to this with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1482.09,"endTime":1484.97,"body":"some situations in my life and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1485.33,"endTime":1488.24,"body":"it's been very beneficial"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1485.33,"endTime":1488.24,"body":"because it helps you really look"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1488.24,"endTime":1490.91,"body":"at the situation and different"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1488.24,"endTime":1490.91,"body":"perspectives, so I'm just gonna"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1490.91,"endTime":1492.83,"body":"kind of go through this quickly."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1494.12,"endTime":1497.81,"body":"I was the big guy. This"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1494.12,"endTime":1497.81,"body":"thing's like I knew it was like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1497.93,"endTime":1498.95,"body":"I think it's on a computer. You"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1498.95,"endTime":1501.41,"body":"don't know what our guys"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1498.95,"endTime":1501.41,"body":"look Like damn on a computer."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1502.37,"endTime":1504.26,"body":"This happened to me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1502.37,"endTime":1504.26,"body":"earlier to I printed out some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1504.29,"endTime":1508.73,"body":"emails to send letters out to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1504.29,"endTime":1508.73,"body":"the kids. And it was like four"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1508.73,"endTime":1511.76,"body":"pages. 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So it could be a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1522.32,"endTime":1525.65,"body":"specific person who has wronged"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1522.32,"endTime":1525.65,"body":"you or a situation that has"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1525.65,"endTime":1526.97,"body":"caused you pain or trauma."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1527.06,"endTime":1530.42,"body":"It can also be an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1527.06,"endTime":1530.42,"body":"institution, people places"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1530.42,"endTime":1535.1,"body":"things, nouns, any of those,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1530.42,"endTime":1535.1,"body":"okay? Just saying Yeah, cuz"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1535.1,"endTime":1537.05,"body":"there's some people like they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1535.1,"endTime":1537.05,"body":"not mad necessarily the person"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1537.05,"endTime":1540.59,"body":"they're mad at a whole like a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1537.05,"endTime":1540.59,"body":"group a thing. And it's, I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1540.59,"endTime":1542.3,"body":"mean to make light of this, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1540.59,"endTime":1542.3,"body":"want to hear a funny one that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1542.3,"endTime":1547.07,"body":"was on mine. Insurance. Your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1542.3,"endTime":1547.07,"body":"stupid insurance. Oh my god,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1547.1,"endTime":1550.49,"body":"they're the only people who are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1547.1,"endTime":1550.49,"body":"allowed to be racist, sexist in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1550.49,"endTime":1552.08,"body":"ages, and they call it risk."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1552.11,"endTime":1554.6,"body":"This is I don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1552.11,"endTime":1554.6,"body":"understand, you get so bent out"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1554.6,"endTime":1558.89,"body":"of shape over the dumbest"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1554.6,"endTime":1558.89,"body":"things, but like serious shit in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1558.89,"endTime":1561.83,"body":"our lives, where it's like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1558.89,"endTime":1561.83,"body":"really affecting you, you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1561.83,"endTime":1565.88,"body":"just like, oh, no, you know,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1561.83,"endTime":1565.88,"body":"patriots, hell can grind an axe"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1565.88,"endTime":1566.57,"body":"there. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1566.57,"endTime":1567.32,"body":"not true."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1568.01,"endTime":1570.95,"body":"I get mad about those"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1568.01,"endTime":1570.95,"body":"things. 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I'm a dummy. You are not."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1598.46,"endTime":1602.63,"body":"Thanks. I like how you saved by"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1598.46,"endTime":1602.63,"body":"simpleton. You are know a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1602.63,"endTime":1603.95,"body":"the times your brain works a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1602.63,"endTime":1603.95,"body":"hell of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1604.19,"endTime":1606.95,"body":"a relationship. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1604.19,"endTime":1606.95,"body":"always been like Paige get over"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1606.95,"endTime":1611.03,"body":"it. You You know, you like I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1606.95,"endTime":1611.03,"body":"said earlier grind an axe? I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1611.03,"endTime":1613.07,"body":"still don't understand what the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1611.03,"endTime":1613.07,"body":"fuck that means. But you've said"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1613.07,"endTime":1616.04,"body":"that to me in our relationship"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1613.07,"endTime":1616.04,"body":"probably 100 times you don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1616.04,"endTime":1616.4,"body":"understand"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1616.4,"endTime":1618.98,"body":"what that means? No. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1616.4,"endTime":1618.98,"body":"so like think of like the old"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1618.98,"endTime":1622.4,"body":"blacksmiths. You know, like the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1618.98,"endTime":1622.4,"body":"dude. Yeah, thing. Yeah, those"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1622.4,"endTime":1626.18,"body":"guys would grind an axe to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1622.4,"endTime":1626.18,"body":"sharpen it. Okay. And so as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1626.18,"endTime":1628.28,"body":"you're grinding the axe, you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1626.18,"endTime":1628.28,"body":"sharpening it, you're thinking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1628.28,"endTime":1630.71,"body":"about who you're going to kill"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1628.28,"endTime":1630.71,"body":"with it. You're like, Oh, yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1630.8,"endTime":1635.06,"body":"Okay, so that bears head off for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1630.8,"endTime":1635.06,"body":"stealing my food. Understand"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1635.06,"endTime":1637.97,"body":"me when it comes to like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1635.06,"endTime":1637.97,"body":"resentment and things. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1637.97,"endTime":1643.07,"body":"like, No, I'm just not allowing"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1637.97,"endTime":1643.07,"body":"people to, you know, step all"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1643.07,"endTime":1645.38,"body":"over me. I'm not going to be a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1643.07,"endTime":1645.38,"body":"doormat anymore."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1645.41,"endTime":1650.03,"body":"And that's why I respect"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1645.41,"endTime":1650.03,"body":"you. That's why I've always"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1650.03,"endTime":1653.39,"body":"valued the way that you look at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1650.03,"endTime":1653.39,"body":"principles and values and you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1653.39,"endTime":1657.98,"body":"like, this, these are the rules,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1653.39,"endTime":1657.98,"body":"okay? And you just take biome,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1658.22,"endTime":1662.33,"body":"my role, where I have these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1658.22,"endTime":1662.33,"body":"like, sometimes flexible morals"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1662.36,"endTime":1663.86,"body":"and I struggle with flexible"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1663.86,"endTime":1666.83,"body":"moral you are when you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1663.86,"endTime":1666.83,"body":"told me that my moral compass is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1666.83,"endTime":1667.46,"body":"too high,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1667.49,"endTime":1669.5,"body":"too strong, man."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1667.49,"endTime":1669.5,"body":"Sometimes, sometimes you gotta"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1669.5,"endTime":1671.63,"body":"cheat a little bit. Sometimes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1669.5,"endTime":1671.63,"body":"you gotta cross the crosswalk"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1671.63,"endTime":1675.23,"body":"when that little white walking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1671.63,"endTime":1675.23,"body":"dudes not on the thing, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1675.23,"endTime":1678.71,"body":"know? No one's gonna care. No"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1675.23,"endTime":1678.71,"body":"one around here, okay?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1678.74,"endTime":1681.17,"body":"I'm not gonna give you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1678.74,"endTime":1681.17,"body":"shit. But I've forgiven you for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1681.17,"endTime":1683.69,"body":"all the shit and I still love"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1681.17,"endTime":1683.69,"body":"you. And I'm still here for you."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1683.69,"endTime":1689.03,"body":"And I'm like, You still live up"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1683.69,"endTime":1689.03,"body":"to my values. So kiss my ass"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1689.03,"endTime":1691.82,"body":"when you keep telling me that I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1689.03,"endTime":1691.82,"body":"grind an axe or whatever, then"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1691.82,"endTime":1692.3,"body":"I'll quit"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1692.3,"endTime":1694.64,"body":"saying it. Apparently,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1692.3,"endTime":1694.64,"body":"this is a triggering topic."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1694.67,"endTime":1697.46,"body":"I'm sorry. I told you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1694.67,"endTime":1697.46,"body":"this was a triggering topic."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1697.49,"endTime":1697.91,"body":"Yeah, she"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1697.91,"endTime":1700.01,"body":"did going into this. She's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1697.91,"endTime":1700.01,"body":"like, get ready, because I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1700.01,"endTime":1700.97,"body":"like, snap. Okay, so"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1700.97,"endTime":1705.38,"body":"you tried to get me to do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1700.97,"endTime":1705.38,"body":"a forgiveness episode. God since"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1705.38,"endTime":1707.63,"body":"like, the very beginning, like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1705.38,"endTime":1707.63,"body":"from the very beginning, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1707.63,"endTime":1710.15,"body":"like, I'm not ready for that."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1707.63,"endTime":1710.15,"body":"I'm just gonna be real with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1710.15,"endTime":1715.4,"body":"everybody. I'm not ready for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1710.15,"endTime":1715.4,"body":"that. Because it is a difficult"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1715.43,"endTime":1717.23,"body":"topic. It's an intense"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1715.43,"endTime":1717.23,"body":"man,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1717.62,"endTime":1723.5,"body":"for a lot of reasons. But"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1717.62,"endTime":1723.5,"body":"anyway, so I'll go back and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1723.5,"endTime":1725.63,"body":"let's go back into the steps"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1723.5,"endTime":1725.63,"body":"because I checked here"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1725.93,"endTime":1728.42,"body":"for about how I did that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1725.93,"endTime":1728.42,"body":"I'm sorry, I had this I had this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1728.42,"endTime":1731.69,"body":"gift about sidetracking. I did"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1728.42,"endTime":1731.69,"body":"it. Oh, you did? Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1737.63,"endTime":1739.79,"body":"Anyway, okay, so you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1737.63,"endTime":1739.79,"body":"identifying the person or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1739.79,"endTime":1743.42,"body":"situation or place as Matt says,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1739.79,"endTime":1743.42,"body":"Next, you're going to reflect on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1743.42,"endTime":1746.15,"body":"the harm that was caused, like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1743.42,"endTime":1746.15,"body":"how has it impacted you, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1746.15,"endTime":1749.21,"body":"know, write down your thoughts"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1746.15,"endTime":1749.21,"body":"and feelings. With no judgment,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1749.3,"endTime":1752.96,"body":"or censorship, like put it all"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1749.3,"endTime":1752.96,"body":"on paper, I'll be honest with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1752.96,"endTime":1755.81,"body":"yourself about the pain and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1752.96,"endTime":1755.81,"body":"anger you may be feeling, y'all."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1755.81,"endTime":1760.28,"body":"I've did this for years in my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1755.81,"endTime":1760.28,"body":"journal, my pain and my anger"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1760.28,"endTime":1764.84,"body":"and my feelings here are all"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1760.28,"endTime":1764.84,"body":"over a journal that I have in my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1764.84,"endTime":1768.65,"body":"room that I wrote probably a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1764.84,"endTime":1768.65,"body":"year straight, actually. And it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1768.65,"endTime":1772.07,"body":"may not make sense, but I was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1768.65,"endTime":1772.07,"body":"very open with how I felt on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1772.07,"endTime":1772.67,"body":"things."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1773.6,"endTime":1775.88,"body":"Hugely important. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1773.6,"endTime":1775.88,"body":"there really is just like it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1775.88,"endTime":1778.4,"body":"cathartic when you're doing that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1775.88,"endTime":1778.4,"body":"stuff it is and don't hold back"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1778.4,"endTime":1781.01,"body":"how you process don't hold back"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1778.4,"endTime":1781.01,"body":"have to feel it. Yep."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1781.49,"endTime":1783.11,"body":"Alright, next, you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1781.49,"endTime":1783.11,"body":"gonna practice empathy, which is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1783.11,"endTime":1785.33,"body":"what we've been talking about,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1783.11,"endTime":1785.33,"body":"you know, try to put yourself in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1785.33,"endTime":1789.02,"body":"the shoes of the person who hurt"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1785.33,"endTime":1789.02,"body":"you, and consider what may have"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1789.02,"endTime":1791.48,"body":"motivated their actions. Were"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1789.02,"endTime":1791.48,"body":"they struggling with their own"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1791.48,"endTime":1795.26,"body":"pain or trauma? Or are they"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1791.48,"endTime":1795.26,"body":"acting out of fear, insecurity?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1795.5,"endTime":1799.31,"body":"You know, just look, try. I try"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1795.5,"endTime":1799.31,"body":"to do that and I try to put"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1799.31,"endTime":1803.72,"body":"myself in other People shoes all"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1799.31,"endTime":1803.72,"body":"the time. It's almost a it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1803.72,"endTime":1806.96,"body":"almost it almost goes too far"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1803.72,"endTime":1806.96,"body":"for me, you know, in a curse"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1806.96,"endTime":1810.14,"body":"where it's like, I'll put myself"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1806.96,"endTime":1810.14,"body":"in the other person's empathy,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1810.14,"endTime":1813.17,"body":"maybe where it's like, oh, man,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1810.14,"endTime":1813.17,"body":"was I really wrong in this?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1813.17,"endTime":1815.72,"body":"Maybe they are right about this."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1813.17,"endTime":1815.72,"body":"And you know, I question"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1815.72,"endTime":1818.78,"body":"everything and then I really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1815.72,"endTime":1818.78,"body":"lose myself because I'm putting"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1818.78,"endTime":1822.23,"body":"myself into their shoes too"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1818.78,"endTime":1822.23,"body":"much. Yeah, there's a line. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1822.29,"endTime":1822.68,"body":"it is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1822.68,"endTime":1825.11,"body":"like, so once again,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1822.68,"endTime":1825.11,"body":"separating the abuser from the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1825.11,"endTime":1828.26,"body":"abuse, write down what the abuse"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1825.11,"endTime":1828.26,"body":"was in the previous steps. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1828.26,"endTime":1831.35,"body":"you can see that and you feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1828.26,"endTime":1831.35,"body":"that you remember that. And then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1831.35,"endTime":1835.61,"body":"you go to the abuser. And like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1831.35,"endTime":1835.61,"body":"this is a common one for a lot"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1835.61,"endTime":1840.56,"body":"of people. When it comes to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1835.61,"endTime":1840.56,"body":"parents like, I mean, no one's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1840.56,"endTime":1843.38,"body":"parents are perfect, right? I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1840.56,"endTime":1843.38,"body":"think that probably the most"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1843.38,"endTime":1845.78,"body":"common thing that people end up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1843.38,"endTime":1845.78,"body":"in therapy over is like their"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1845.78,"endTime":1848.48,"body":"parents. That's like the whole"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1845.78,"endTime":1848.48,"body":"joke, right? Like, when you mess"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1848.48,"endTime":1851.3,"body":"with your kids, you like that,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1848.48,"endTime":1851.3,"body":"that's gonna cost me 20 years of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1851.3,"endTime":1854.96,"body":"therapy one day, you know, stuff"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1851.3,"endTime":1854.96,"body":"like that. Like when you mess"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1854.96,"endTime":1860.39,"body":"with them. And anyway, so it's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1854.96,"endTime":1860.39,"body":"joke, but it's not. So when you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1860.39,"endTime":1863.18,"body":"think about your parents."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1860.39,"endTime":1863.18,"body":"Remember, these are people too,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1863.21,"endTime":1867.26,"body":"and there's no telling what kind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1863.21,"endTime":1867.26,"body":"of upbringing they had to cause"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1867.26,"endTime":1871.82,"body":"them to display the type of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1867.26,"endTime":1871.82,"body":"behavior that has led to you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1871.82,"endTime":1873.11,"body":"being and they're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1873.14,"endTime":1875.72,"body":"just treatment, just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1873.14,"endTime":1875.72,"body":"remember, this is not you can"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1875.72,"endTime":1878.54,"body":"doning their behavior, no"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1875.72,"endTime":1878.54,"body":"literally having empathy for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1878.54,"endTime":1883.22,"body":"somebody and just seeing sure it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1878.54,"endTime":1883.22,"body":"might, where they might have"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1883.22,"endTime":1883.46,"body":"wronged"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1883.79,"endTime":1886.43,"body":"why, like, why the abuse"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1883.79,"endTime":1886.43,"body":"isn't okay, we're just trying to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1886.46,"endTime":1890.36,"body":"just have some empathy, because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1886.46,"endTime":1890.36,"body":"empathy is essential in order to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1890.36,"endTime":1891.29,"body":"forgive it is,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1891.53,"endTime":1894.29,"body":"it is. All right. Next,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1891.53,"endTime":1894.29,"body":"you're gonna write a love letter"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1894.29,"endTime":1897.65,"body":"to the person that you need to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1894.29,"endTime":1897.65,"body":"forgive. And this is for your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1897.65,"endTime":1901.16,"body":"benefit, no one sees this, but"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1897.65,"endTime":1901.16,"body":"it is not necessarily for the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1901.16,"endTime":1904.31,"body":"other person to see, you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1901.16,"endTime":1904.31,"body":"going to express your feelings"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1904.31,"endTime":1907.97,"body":"about what happened, how it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1904.31,"endTime":1907.97,"body":"impacted you and be clear and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1908.0,"endTime":1911.93,"body":"specific. But don't blame or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1908.0,"endTime":1911.93,"body":"attack."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1912.23,"endTime":1914.75,"body":"Just owning your feelings"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1912.23,"endTime":1914.75,"body":"like this is how I felt when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1914.75,"endTime":1917.78,"body":"this right, right state the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1914.75,"endTime":1917.78,"body":"facts, and this is how I felt"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1917.81,"endTime":1920.69,"body":"Yes. And then you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1917.81,"endTime":1920.69,"body":"going to focus on forgiveness."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1920.69,"endTime":1922.94,"body":"So in the letter, express your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1920.69,"endTime":1922.94,"body":"willingness to forgive the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1922.94,"endTime":1925.25,"body":"person who hurt you, this"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1922.94,"endTime":1925.25,"body":"doesn't mean that you forget"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1925.25,"endTime":1928.7,"body":"what happened. Or that you can"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1925.25,"endTime":1928.7,"body":"tell on their actions, it simply"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1928.7,"endTime":1931.13,"body":"just means that you're ready to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1928.7,"endTime":1931.13,"body":"let go of the anger and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1931.13,"endTime":1933.92,"body":"resentment and move forward with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1931.13,"endTime":1933.92,"body":"your life. That's the whole"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1933.92,"endTime":1935.15,"body":"point and purpose of this."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1935.48,"endTime":1938.06,"body":"So you said something you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1935.48,"endTime":1938.06,"body":"said a really crucial word in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1938.06,"endTime":1942.05,"body":"there. But willingness is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1938.06,"endTime":1942.05,"body":"different than the action of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1942.05,"endTime":1946.91,"body":"actually forgiving, right? And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1942.05,"endTime":1946.91,"body":"the process of becoming willing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1946.91,"endTime":1950.0,"body":"to forgive someone to actually"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1946.91,"endTime":1950.0,"body":"forgiving someone can take quite"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1950.0,"endTime":1953.63,"body":"some time. Oh, yeah. But just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1950.0,"endTime":1953.63,"body":"being willing to forgive them."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1953.63,"endTime":1957.35,"body":"Just give yourself that I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1953.63,"endTime":1957.35,"body":"willing to forgive. Yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1957.35,"endTime":1960.56,"body":"so freeing, and it's non"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1957.35,"endTime":1960.56,"body":"committal. You don't have to go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1960.56,"endTime":1964.01,"body":"out and do it necessarily. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1960.56,"endTime":1964.01,"body":"being willing, takes a huge"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1964.01,"endTime":1968.72,"body":"burden off of your heart. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1964.01,"endTime":1968.72,"body":"then time leads to the act of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1968.72,"endTime":1970.07,"body":"actually forgetting them. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1971.21,"endTime":1975.74,"body":"Yep. So after that, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1971.21,"endTime":1975.74,"body":"just take the time to reflect on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1975.74,"endTime":1982.67,"body":"the process. Reflect on your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1975.74,"endTime":1982.67,"body":"feelings? Yeah. And you may want"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1982.67,"endTime":1985.91,"body":"to revisit this letter and make"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1982.67,"endTime":1985.91,"body":"changes as you continue to work"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1985.91,"endTime":1989.27,"body":"through your emotions. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1985.91,"endTime":1989.27,"body":"Because things can change over"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1989.27,"endTime":1990.89,"body":"time and stuff. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1990.95,"endTime":1995.42,"body":"complex. It's so complex."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1990.95,"endTime":1995.42,"body":"And if it's someone that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1995.42,"endTime":1998.96,"body":"interact with on a regular"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1995.42,"endTime":1998.96,"body":"basis, then it's going to change"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1999.02,"endTime":2005.65,"body":"over time. Absolutely. The guide"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1999.02,"endTime":2005.65,"body":"on our website does, it's got a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2005.65,"endTime":2007.6,"body":"ton of good information here."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2005.65,"endTime":2007.6,"body":"And I want to dissect every"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2007.6,"endTime":2012.61,"body":"piece of it. But we've talked"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2007.6,"endTime":2012.61,"body":"about boundaries before. And so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2012.61,"endTime":2015.73,"body":"when we talk about abuse, when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2012.61,"endTime":2015.73,"body":"we talk about needing to forgive"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2015.73,"endTime":2018.94,"body":"someone, I think that sort of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2015.73,"endTime":2018.94,"body":"like this elephant in the room"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2018.94,"endTime":2023.38,"body":"is like, what if this person,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2018.94,"endTime":2023.38,"body":"like lives in my house with me,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2023.41,"endTime":2026.83,"body":"and like they do this crap every"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2023.41,"endTime":2026.83,"body":"day, but I want to forgive them."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2026.83,"endTime":2028.99,"body":"I don't want to be sick. I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2026.83,"endTime":2028.99,"body":"want to live with this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2028.99,"endTime":2032.29,"body":"resentment. It's eating me away"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2028.99,"endTime":2032.29,"body":"from the inside. How do I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2032.29,"endTime":2035.29,"body":"forgive that person? I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2032.29,"endTime":2035.29,"body":"that you've got to start with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2035.29,"endTime":2038.59,"body":"boundaries. Yep, you have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2035.29,"endTime":2038.59,"body":"start with boundaries or the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2038.77,"endTime":2040.63,"body":"you're never going to get to the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2038.77,"endTime":2040.63,"body":"point where you're able to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2040.63,"endTime":2044.08,"body":"forgive because it's still"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2040.63,"endTime":2044.08,"body":"ongoing abuse. You give"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2044.11,"endTime":2047.92,"body":"forgiveness happens when it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2044.11,"endTime":2047.92,"body":"stops when the abuse stopped"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2047.95,"endTime":2051.16,"body":"when you've either put an end to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2047.95,"endTime":2051.16,"body":"it. Or you've put a boundary up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2051.16,"endTime":2054.28,"body":"so firm that you're not able to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2051.16,"endTime":2054.28,"body":"touch you anymore. Remember,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2054.28,"endTime":2056.71,"body":"boundaries are for you. Yep."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2054.28,"endTime":2056.71,"body":"They're not for the other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2056.71,"endTime":2059.5,"body":"person. They're for you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2056.71,"endTime":2059.5,"body":"Forgiveness is also for you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2059.53,"endTime":2063.52,"body":"These are self care tools. Yes."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2059.53,"endTime":2063.52,"body":"These aren't like bullets to use"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2063.52,"endTime":2066.91,"body":"against somebody, right? This is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2063.52,"endTime":2066.91,"body":"how to save yourself, save your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2066.91,"endTime":2069.88,"body":"mind, save your peace. You know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2066.91,"endTime":2069.88,"body":"get to the point where it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2069.88,"endTime":2073.57,"body":"like, you can't afford the rent"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2069.88,"endTime":2073.57,"body":"in my head. As a matter of fact,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2073.57,"endTime":2077.14,"body":"I'm evicting you from it. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2073.57,"endTime":2077.14,"body":"get out of my head. But that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2077.14,"endTime":2080.17,"body":"not possible without boundaries."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2077.14,"endTime":2080.17,"body":"I think it's, we've got an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2080.17,"endTime":2083.2,"body":"episode on that. We've got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2080.17,"endTime":2083.2,"body":"guides on that as well. And they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2083.2,"endTime":2086.08,"body":"go hand in hand. Yes. Because I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2083.2,"endTime":2086.08,"body":"think that's the obvious"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2086.08,"endTime":2088.09,"body":"question we're going to get is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2086.08,"endTime":2088.09,"body":"like, Well, how do you forgive"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2088.09,"endTime":2090.04,"body":"someone that still does this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2088.09,"endTime":2090.04,"body":"every day and they're gonna do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2090.04,"endTime":2091.3,"body":"it again tomorrow, right?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2091.72,"endTime":2093.49,"body":"You don't where you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2091.72,"endTime":2093.49,"body":"putting your boundaries up and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2093.49,"endTime":2094.6,"body":"you can change that but you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2094.6,"endTime":2096.31,"body":"can still do a piece of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2094.6,"endTime":2096.31,"body":"this thing. I think you can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2096.31,"endTime":2100.54,"body":"still find the empathy piece of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2096.31,"endTime":2100.54,"body":"it. But you don't have tolerate"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2100.54,"endTime":2100.6,"body":"it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2100.6,"endTime":2102.85,"body":"that's very similar to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2100.6,"endTime":2102.85,"body":"detaching with love as well."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2102.88,"endTime":2109.48,"body":"Yes, it is. Yeah. It all all."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2102.88,"endTime":2109.48,"body":"They all go in the same sort of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2109.48,"endTime":2113.23,"body":"realm. Yeah, yes. And I, we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2109.48,"endTime":2113.23,"body":"really didn't touch on how to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2113.23,"endTime":2117.28,"body":"forgive yourself and things. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2113.23,"endTime":2117.28,"body":"I think this is all very it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2117.31,"endTime":2119.47,"body":"very similar process. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2119.5,"endTime":2122.65,"body":"it is it is like when you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2119.5,"endTime":2122.65,"body":"look at okay, forgiving myself,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2122.68,"endTime":2125.47,"body":"what did I do? What did I do to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2122.68,"endTime":2125.47,"body":"myself? What did I do to other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2125.47,"endTime":2130.21,"body":"people that I can't forgive"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2125.47,"endTime":2130.21,"body":"myself for? And I think that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2130.27,"endTime":2134.95,"body":"that empathy piece, you have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2130.27,"endTime":2134.95,"body":"look at who who that who that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2134.95,"endTime":2137.68,"body":"person was in that moment when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2134.95,"endTime":2137.68,"body":"that when that happened?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2138.1,"endTime":2141.49,"body":"Speak for yourself, what"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2138.1,"endTime":2141.49,"body":"is your experience with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2142.15,"endTime":2143.29,"body":"forgiveness of yourself?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2143.319,"endTime":2145.839,"body":"It's been really tough."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2143.319,"endTime":2145.839,"body":"Like, I'm really so I thought"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2145.839,"endTime":2148.299,"body":"about this. I was like, Have I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2145.839,"endTime":2148.299,"body":"forgiven myself? Like, remember,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2148.299,"endTime":2154.239,"body":"we had this? God, man have I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2148.299,"endTime":2154.239,"body":"actually, I think in some ways,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2154.659,"endTime":2157.869,"body":"I have never forgiven myself for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2154.659,"endTime":2157.869,"body":"the actual actions. Like when I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2157.869,"endTime":2161.109,"body":"think about them, I cringe."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2157.869,"endTime":2161.109,"body":"Like, it makes me want to cry"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2161.109,"endTime":2165.699,"body":"thinking about the shit that I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2161.109,"endTime":2165.699,"body":"did. But like, am I'm able to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2165.699,"endTime":2169.089,"body":"forgive myself in that moment."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2165.699,"endTime":2169.089,"body":"Yeah, because that was a really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2169.089,"endTime":2172.779,"body":"sick person who had a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2169.089,"endTime":2172.779,"body":"pain they hadn't processed or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2172.779,"endTime":2177.459,"body":"dealt with. And I have empathy"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2172.779,"endTime":2177.459,"body":"for that. I can deal with that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2177.699,"endTime":2183.699,"body":"But the actions know, like, how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2177.699,"endTime":2183.699,"body":"can you you know? So in some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2183.699,"endTime":2188.589,"body":"ways, I think I've forgiven"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2183.699,"endTime":2188.589,"body":"myself. Because I was able to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2189.429,"endTime":2192.189,"body":"understand that time in my life"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2189.429,"endTime":2192.189,"body":"that I was incredibly sick. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2192.189,"endTime":2194.079,"body":"I was dealing with a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2192.189,"endTime":2194.079,"body":"really difficult stuff. I just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2194.079,"endTime":2196.899,"body":"didn't know how no one taught me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2194.079,"endTime":2196.899,"body":"how to deal with this stuff. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2196.899,"endTime":2199.749,"body":"know, it wasn't like, I didn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2196.899,"endTime":2199.749,"body":"have people around me, like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2199.779,"endTime":2202.179,"body":"telling me like, here's how you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2199.779,"endTime":2202.179,"body":"deal with anger. Here's how you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2202.179,"endTime":2204.219,"body":"deal with sadness. Here's how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2202.179,"endTime":2204.219,"body":"you deal with depression. Like I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2204.219,"endTime":2208.239,"body":"didn't have that. So I can have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2204.219,"endTime":2208.239,"body":"empathy for that guy. And I can,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2208.359,"endTime":2211.449,"body":"I can deal with that. Like, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2208.359,"endTime":2211.449,"body":"can understand that I've met"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2211.449,"endTime":2214.479,"body":"people the same way, who don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2211.449,"endTime":2214.479,"body":"mean to hurt other people. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2214.479,"endTime":2217.149,"body":"you do. Because you were really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2214.479,"endTime":2217.149,"body":"sick in the moment like, well,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2217.149,"endTime":2219.519,"body":"not a bad person, just a sick"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2217.149,"endTime":2219.519,"body":"person. And that's how I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2219.519,"endTime":2223.089,"body":"able to forgive myself. But I've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2219.519,"endTime":2223.089,"body":"never forgiven and I don't think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2223.089,"endTime":2225.969,"body":"I'll ever forgive myself. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2223.089,"endTime":2225.969,"body":"for the specific actions like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2225.969,"endTime":2228.879,"body":"that? Nah, probably not."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2229.48,"endTime":2234.46,"body":"That's deep baby. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2229.48,"endTime":2234.46,"body":"forgiven you for your stuff."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2235.6,"endTime":2237.88,"body":"I mean, I appreciate that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2235.6,"endTime":2237.88,"body":"And like I'm extremely grateful"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2237.88,"endTime":2241.75,"body":"for but the same time it's like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2237.88,"endTime":2241.75,"body":"yeah, but this never should have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2241.75,"endTime":2242.35,"body":"happened."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2242.529,"endTime":2243.639,"body":"Yeah, I understand."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2245.23,"endTime":2249.55,"body":"That stuff, man, in coming"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2245.23,"endTime":2249.55,"body":"from an abuser, like I hope that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2249.61,"endTime":2252.85,"body":"someone listening can hear this."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2249.61,"endTime":2252.85,"body":"And like, I hope that one day"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2252.85,"endTime":2256.24,"body":"you get this from your abuser. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2252.85,"endTime":2256.24,"body":"do. Like, I hope I'm not like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2257.17,"endTime":2259.42,"body":"tooting my own horn over here."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2257.17,"endTime":2259.42,"body":"Like, I'm not like proud of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2259.42,"endTime":2262.75,"body":"myself for this, I just hope one"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2259.42,"endTime":2262.75,"body":"day you get the closure that the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2262.75,"endTime":2267.49,"body":"person that has harmed you truly"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2262.75,"endTime":2267.49,"body":"wants to be different, and they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2267.49,"endTime":2269.65,"body":"want to make right by you. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2267.49,"endTime":2269.65,"body":"they respect you enough to do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2269.65,"endTime":2275.02,"body":"that. And if they don't, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2269.65,"endTime":2275.02,"body":"we've got, you know, we've got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2275.02,"endTime":2277.96,"body":"options for there, too. But I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2275.02,"endTime":2277.96,"body":"hope that everyone gets that,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2277.99,"endTime":2280.99,"body":"like I, I think if there's any"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2277.99,"endTime":2280.99,"body":"gift I can give my family it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2280.99,"endTime":2286.75,"body":"that. It's that like, Man, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2280.99,"endTime":2286.75,"body":"really, really, really, really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2286.75,"endTime":2289.75,"body":"am sorry for doing that. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2286.75,"endTime":2289.75,"body":"living amends. Yeah, I'm living"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2289.75,"endTime":2292.09,"body":"and living amends every single"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2289.75,"endTime":2292.09,"body":"day. You know, that's, that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2292.09,"endTime":2294.43,"body":"what I'm after. Now. It's it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2292.09,"endTime":2294.43,"body":"incredibly tough to think about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2294.43,"endTime":2297.49,"body":"stuff that you did, like, Nah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2294.43,"endTime":2297.49,"body":"man, and I don't think I should"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2297.49,"endTime":2299.8,"body":"forgive myself for that stuff."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2297.49,"endTime":2299.8,"body":"Because if I do, like, lest I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2299.8,"endTime":2302.89,"body":"forget and do it again. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2299.8,"endTime":2302.89,"body":"know, like, I need to keep that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2302.89,"endTime":2306.22,"body":"crap fresh, sometimes, like gray"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2302.89,"endTime":2306.22,"body":"area there remind myself with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2306.22,"endTime":2310.36,"body":"the stuff that happened? Right?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2306.22,"endTime":2310.36,"body":"It's important, right? But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2310.9,"endTime":2311.29,"body":"anyway, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2311.29,"endTime":2312.73,"body":"think thank you for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2311.29,"endTime":2312.73,"body":"sharing that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2313.299,"endTime":2316.539,"body":"That's tough. Um, thank"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2313.299,"endTime":2316.539,"body":"you for asking. I think it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2316.569,"endTime":2319.209,"body":"something I've never really,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2316.569,"endTime":2319.209,"body":"really explored, like out loud."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2321.67,"endTime":2324.07,"body":"All right. Said it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2321.67,"endTime":2324.07,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2324.85,"endTime":2325.87,"body":"I'm just giving you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2324.85,"endTime":2325.87,"body":"space."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2325.9,"endTime":2329.68,"body":"Okay. Um, I think it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2325.9,"endTime":2329.68,"body":"worth mentioning that today."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2330.46,"endTime":2337.51,"body":"June 26. Is pages birthday. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2330.46,"endTime":2337.51,"body":"real quick, funny story"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2337.51,"endTime":2341.08,"body":"storytime. So this, this is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2337.51,"endTime":2341.08,"body":"like, five years ago or so was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2341.08,"endTime":2344.47,"body":"about five years ago. This"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2341.08,"endTime":2344.47,"body":"happened, right? You probably"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2344.47,"endTime":2348.43,"body":"know exactly. Right, about five"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2344.47,"endTime":2348.43,"body":"years. Five years ago, y'all."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2349.39,"endTime":2351.88,"body":"Like we're super close and like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2349.39,"endTime":2351.88,"body":"great relationship and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2351.88,"endTime":2355.36,"body":"everything. And, like, I am such"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2351.88,"endTime":2355.36,"body":"a creature of habit. Like I wake"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2355.36,"endTime":2358.39,"body":"up every morning about four and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2355.36,"endTime":2358.39,"body":"I go to the gym and like I do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2358.39,"endTime":2361.81,"body":"the same thing. It's like, I go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2358.39,"endTime":2361.81,"body":"get my coffee. I sit there and I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2361.81,"endTime":2366.49,"body":"scan the news. Three cups of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2361.81,"endTime":2366.49,"body":"coffee. I'm out the door. And on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2366.49,"endTime":2371.71,"body":"June 26. Like 2018 I got up and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2366.49,"endTime":2371.71,"body":"I did this. And I left the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2371.71,"endTime":2376.96,"body":"house. And you were up at the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2371.71,"endTime":2376.96,"body":"time. Yeah, you're up and she"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2376.96,"endTime":2379.84,"body":"didn't say a word to me. She"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2376.96,"endTime":2379.84,"body":"didn't give me a look like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2379.84,"endTime":2383.86,"body":"nothing. I just like, kissed her"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2379.84,"endTime":2383.86,"body":"happy smile like walked out the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2383.86,"endTime":2387.25,"body":"door. And I got about 10 minutes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2383.86,"endTime":2387.25,"body":"down the road. I think I forgot"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2387.25,"endTime":2393.34,"body":"my phone. I came back in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2387.25,"endTime":2393.34,"body":"house. And she she sees the door"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2393.34,"endTime":2396.04,"body":"open up and she'll be like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2393.34,"endTime":2396.04,"body":"lights up and she sees me and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2396.04,"endTime":2400.87,"body":"I'm like, I forgot my phone and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2396.04,"endTime":2400.87,"body":"she just looks at me. You To say"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2400.87,"endTime":2405.61,"body":"an effing word just looked at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2400.87,"endTime":2405.61,"body":"me, smiled and kind of goes,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2405.64,"endTime":2412.63,"body":"okay. I get back to the office."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2405.64,"endTime":2412.63,"body":"And I sit down at my desk and I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2412.63,"endTime":2418.45,"body":"opened my my computer and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2412.63,"endTime":2418.45,"body":"Windows. It's Tuesday, May or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2418.48,"endTime":2422.74,"body":"June 26. And I mean, you talk"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2418.48,"endTime":2422.74,"body":"about like wanting to scream"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2422.74,"endTime":2427.54,"body":"vomit in that moment. Like just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2422.74,"endTime":2427.54,"body":"feeling so disgusted with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2427.54,"endTime":2430.81,"body":"yourself and like, I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2427.54,"endTime":2430.81,"body":"forget things like that,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2430.81,"endTime":2433.99,"body":"especially with you, but it just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2430.81,"endTime":2433.99,"body":"happened. So today anyway, get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2433.99,"endTime":2437.98,"body":"to this point of the story"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2433.99,"endTime":2437.98,"body":"today. I woke up and I had a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2437.98,"endTime":2439.93,"body":"really hectic morning as we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2437.98,"endTime":2439.93,"body":"coming off vacation. I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2439.93,"endTime":2445.96,"body":"kind of out of routine. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2439.93,"endTime":2445.96,"body":"played it kind of so woke up,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2445.96,"endTime":2449.38,"body":"she was still asleep. She gets"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2445.96,"endTime":2449.38,"body":"up and she goes in the bathroom"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2449.62,"endTime":2451.42,"body":"to freshen up and stuff like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2449.62,"endTime":2451.42,"body":"that and just kind of wait"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2451.42,"endTime":2454.84,"body":"outside on the other side of the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2451.42,"endTime":2454.84,"body":"door. And I'm sitting there and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2454.84,"endTime":2457.72,"body":"I go, Alright, I'm out of here."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2454.84,"endTime":2457.72,"body":"I love you buy and use go. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2457.72,"endTime":2460.87,"body":"love you too. And then I walked"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2457.72,"endTime":2460.87,"body":"around the corner and just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2460.87,"endTime":2465.55,"body":"waited, waited and I waited and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2460.87,"endTime":2465.55,"body":"I waited. And then I was like oh"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2465.55,"endTime":2467.74,"body":"crap. Like this is gonna be one"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2465.55,"endTime":2467.74,"body":"of those jokes. It turns into"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2467.74,"endTime":2470.59,"body":"like a really painful moment for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2467.74,"endTime":2470.59,"body":"you when you turn the corner"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2470.59,"endTime":2474.01,"body":"crying. She sat there for like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2470.59,"endTime":2474.01,"body":"10 minutes, because I guess she"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2474.01,"endTime":2476.2,"body":"was just resolute the fact that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2474.01,"endTime":2476.2,"body":"I'd forgotten again."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2476.2,"endTime":2479.23,"body":"I did, but I sat there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2476.2,"endTime":2479.23,"body":"feeling it was gonna turn the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2479.23,"endTime":2481.84,"body":"corner. I go happy birthday"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2481.87,"endTime":2486.04,"body":"and she was not effing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2481.87,"endTime":2486.04,"body":"amused. She was like, I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2486.04,"endTime":2488.71,"body":"pretty sure you forgot again."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2486.04,"endTime":2488.71,"body":"Like just very like resolute in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2488.71,"endTime":2490.93,"body":"the fact that like, Yeah, you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2488.71,"endTime":2490.93,"body":"a POS and you would do that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2491.38,"endTime":2497.17,"body":"Dale? a one time deal, but okay."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2491.38,"endTime":2497.17,"body":"So yeah, I've got reminders that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2497.17,"endTime":2500.2,"body":"buzzer my phone now let me know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2497.17,"endTime":2500.2,"body":"like off the bat, like, Hey,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2500.23,"endTime":2504.04,"body":"it's your wife's birthday, dude."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2500.23,"endTime":2504.04,"body":"So anyway, happy birthday. Hey,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2505.12,"endTime":2507.82,"body":"I am. I think everyone that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2505.12,"endTime":2507.82,"body":"knows you and everyone that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2507.82,"endTime":2510.58,"body":"hears you and listens to you and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2507.82,"endTime":2510.58,"body":"interact with you is better for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2510.58,"endTime":2513.19,"body":"it. You're an amazing person."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2510.58,"endTime":2513.19,"body":"Thanks for Happy birthday. Thank"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2513.19,"endTime":2517.24,"body":"you. All right. Well, I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2513.19,"endTime":2517.24,"body":"that's all we've got. Yes, those"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2517.24,"endTime":2521.29,"body":"guys we mentioned, by the way,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2517.24,"endTime":2521.29,"body":"you can find those@www.tufo.com"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2521.29,"endTime":2526.12,"body":"That's TW fo.com. And there you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2521.29,"endTime":2526.12,"body":"can also find plenty of other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2526.12,"endTime":2529.78,"body":"guides you can find links to our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2526.12,"endTime":2529.78,"body":"social media accounts that we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2529.78,"endTime":2533.41,"body":"keep pretty fed page has been"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2529.78,"endTime":2533.41,"body":"pretty lit on tick tock lately,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2533.41,"endTime":2536.32,"body":"actually. Yeah, he's figured"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2533.41,"endTime":2536.32,"body":"this thing out in some great"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2536.32,"endTime":2539.74,"body":"interaction, some great"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2536.32,"endTime":2539.74,"body":"questions, and by which we will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2539.74,"endTime":2544.81,"body":"have a fun episode. Coming soon."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2539.74,"endTime":2544.81,"body":"I forgot about that. An extra"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2544.81,"endTime":2549.49,"body":"episode this week coming out on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2544.81,"endTime":2549.49,"body":"Friday. We will answer listener"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2549.52,"endTime":2553.54,"body":"and engagement questions people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2549.52,"endTime":2553.54,"body":"have asked us questions about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2553.54,"endTime":2556.84,"body":"dealing with a number of things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2553.54,"endTime":2556.84,"body":"via Tik Tok. So if you're not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2556.84,"endTime":2560.05,"body":"checking us out there, check us"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2556.84,"endTime":2560.05,"body":"out there interact with us. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2560.05,"endTime":2562.12,"body":"be looking forward to that one."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2560.05,"endTime":2562.12,"body":"I think that's all we've got."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2563.2,"endTime":2566.02,"body":"It's been a good episode. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2563.2,"endTime":2566.02,"body":"really enjoyed this one. It was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2566.02,"endTime":2569.59,"body":"awesome. It's good. It's been a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2566.02,"endTime":2569.59,"body":"long time in the making this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2569.59,"endTime":2570.01,"body":"episode."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2571.78,"endTime":2575.68,"body":"Okay, well, until next"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2571.78,"endTime":2575.68,"body":"time, I am Matt and we'll see"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2575.68,"endTime":2575.89,"body":"you"}]}