{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.58,"body":"alcohol is a drug. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.58,"body":"think it's a ridiculous thing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2.58,"endTime":6.63,"body":"that we just kind of put out in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2.58,"endTime":6.63,"body":"the world that it's normal. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":6.63,"endTime":9.48,"body":"okay. You should accept my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":6.63,"endTime":9.48,"body":"drinking, you should accept the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":9.48,"endTime":11.85,"body":"fact that I want to be effed up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":9.48,"endTime":11.85,"body":"and on drugs. It is a drug, I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":11.85,"endTime":15.33,"body":"going to call it a drug as it is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":11.85,"endTime":15.33,"body":"all the time. That is not normal"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":15.33,"endTime":18.63,"body":"behavior. And you shouldn't feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":15.33,"endTime":18.63,"body":"like you're crazy for telling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":18.63,"endTime":21.15,"body":"someone. It's not okay to be on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":18.63,"endTime":21.15,"body":"drugs all the time."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":26.19,"endTime":31.05,"body":"Welcome back. Welcome"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":26.19,"endTime":31.05,"body":"back to another episode until"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":31.05,"endTime":33.12,"body":"the wheels fall off. I'm Paige."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":31.05,"endTime":33.12,"body":"And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":33.12,"endTime":37.05,"body":"I'm Matt. And your cadence"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":33.12,"endTime":37.05,"body":"was just a little bit off there."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":37.05,"endTime":39.63,"body":"But we can work on it. I'll show"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":37.05,"endTime":39.63,"body":"you. Okay, thanks."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":40.05,"endTime":42.36,"body":"I think it's still pretty solid."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":40.05,"endTime":42.36,"body":"Like if I'm given gymnastic"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":42.36,"endTime":46.29,"body":"score here. I'm saying that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":42.36,"endTime":46.29,"body":"like that that one's like a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":46.29,"endTime":50.28,"body":"716 6.9 6.8 6.8."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":51.36,"endTime":54.42,"body":"Okay, well, you usually"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":51.36,"endTime":54.42,"body":"do the intro. And this time I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":54.42,"endTime":55.11,"body":"wanted to change it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":55.44,"endTime":57.42,"body":"She goes, Can I do the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":55.44,"endTime":57.42,"body":"intro? 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Yeah, yeah, no, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":101.97,"endTime":104.22,"body":"been but it's really cool when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":101.97,"endTime":104.22,"body":"you get an audience big enough"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":104.22,"endTime":107.49,"body":"where they can reach out so we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":104.22,"endTime":107.49,"body":"took just a handful of the the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":107.49,"endTime":110.16,"body":"questions that we gotten from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":107.49,"endTime":110.16,"body":"that from that post and the TIC"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":110.16,"endTime":112.26,"body":"TOCs actually been really lit"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":110.16,"endTime":112.26,"body":"and I wasn't so sure about tick"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":112.26,"endTime":114.12,"body":"tock and to me and you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":112.26,"endTime":114.12,"body":"not supposed to say lit with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":114.12,"endTime":115.86,"body":"your over 35 years old dear"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":115.98,"endTime":118.26,"body":"man, I come from I come"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":115.98,"endTime":118.26,"body":"from the streets. I can say what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":118.26,"endTime":118.59,"body":"I want."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":119.88,"endTime":124.26,"body":"So true. Yes, tick tock"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":119.88,"endTime":124.26,"body":"has been lit."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":124.38,"endTime":126.48,"body":"It's been great for us"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":124.38,"endTime":126.48,"body":"though. It's it's been a place"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":126.48,"endTime":128.91,"body":"where you get actually more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":126.48,"endTime":128.91,"body":"feedback and interaction than"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":128.94,"endTime":131.4,"body":"anywhere else, like Instagram is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":128.94,"endTime":131.4,"body":"a place where people go to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":131.4,"endTime":134.1,"body":"pretend that there's someone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":131.4,"endTime":134.1,"body":"there not. Facebook is a place"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":134.1,"endTime":136.92,"body":"where old people go to put"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":134.1,"endTime":136.92,"body":"inappropriate things on the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":136.92,"endTime":140.76,"body":"internet. And Tik Tok has been a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":136.92,"endTime":140.76,"body":"place where people will actually"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":140.76,"endTime":144.06,"body":"reach out and ask like, sincere"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":140.76,"endTime":144.06,"body":"questions, and I never I never"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":144.06,"endTime":145.32,"body":"thought that would be the case."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":144.06,"endTime":145.32,"body":"Right?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":145.59,"endTime":150.21,"body":"Yeah, we were kind of on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":145.59,"endTime":150.21,"body":"the we weren't going to get on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":150.21,"endTime":153.75,"body":"tick tock like we were not. What"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":150.21,"endTime":153.75,"body":"is the word I'm looking for?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":153.78,"endTime":154.47,"body":"Dammit."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":154.65,"endTime":156.78,"body":"I don't know. I don't know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":154.65,"endTime":156.78,"body":"what you're looking for there."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":156.9,"endTime":157.89,"body":"Nevermind. All right."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":156.9,"endTime":157.89,"body":"Let's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":157.89,"endTime":160.59,"body":"just keep going."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":157.89,"endTime":160.59,"body":"resistant, hesitant we were"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":160.59,"endTime":164.28,"body":"Yeah, we were hesitant."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":160.59,"endTime":164.28,"body":"Thank you. Okay. Got it. Thanks."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":164.28,"endTime":164.55,"body":"Got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":164.55,"endTime":167.94,"body":"it. Told you. I can read"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":164.55,"endTime":167.94,"body":"your mind. True. It's true."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":168.42,"endTime":170.49,"body":"All right. So we're gonna"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":168.42,"endTime":170.49,"body":"go through some questions that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":170.49,"endTime":173.67,"body":"people wanted us to answer. If"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":170.49,"endTime":173.67,"body":"you don't, if you're not on our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":173.67,"endTime":179.07,"body":"tick tock. It is mainly me"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":173.67,"endTime":179.07,"body":"discussing certain things of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":179.07,"endTime":181.8,"body":"what it's like being with an"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":179.07,"endTime":181.8,"body":"addict or an alcoholic. It kind"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":181.8,"endTime":183.75,"body":"of turned into something"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":181.8,"endTime":183.75,"body":"different than we had our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":183.75,"endTime":184.59,"body":"podcast."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":184.98,"endTime":187.5,"body":"Yeah. And you cover some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":184.98,"endTime":187.5,"body":"other stuff there as well. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":187.5,"endTime":192.18,"body":"you have a relationship stuff."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":187.5,"endTime":192.18,"body":"Yeah, some some good stuff. Life"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":192.18,"endTime":196.35,"body":"stuff in general, like you cover"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":192.18,"endTime":196.35,"body":"life stuff. Yeah. But how about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":196.38,"endTime":199.32,"body":"I read the questions, and then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":196.38,"endTime":199.32,"body":"you take the answers, especially"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":199.32,"endTime":200.4,"body":"the ones that are mostly"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":201.06,"endTime":203.34,"body":"around like, some of them"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":201.06,"endTime":203.34,"body":"are some of her for you. But if"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":203.34,"endTime":204.99,"body":"you want to go ahead and excuse"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":203.34,"endTime":204.99,"body":"me, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":204.99,"endTime":205.92,"body":"clear my throat there."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":206.22,"endTime":208.02,"body":"I don't know what's going"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":206.22,"endTime":208.02,"body":"on me clear my throat."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":209.04,"endTime":212.25,"body":"I forgot that. That's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":209.04,"endTime":212.25,"body":"good one. All right. No,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":212.25,"endTime":215.91,"body":"question one. All right. How do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":212.25,"endTime":215.91,"body":"I cope when he has actually"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":215.91,"endTime":219.72,"body":"started making progress after"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":215.91,"endTime":219.72,"body":"many years of trying? Can you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":219.72,"endTime":222.72,"body":"rekindle hope and passion after"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":219.72,"endTime":222.72,"body":"years of resentment?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":223.29,"endTime":228.12,"body":"Yes, as long as he is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":223.29,"endTime":228.12,"body":"still trying and making living"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":228.12,"endTime":232.56,"body":"amends, as you'd like to say,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":228.12,"endTime":232.56,"body":"right? Uh huh. So it there is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":232.56,"endTime":237.15,"body":"hope, that passion and that you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":232.56,"endTime":237.15,"body":"can get over the resentment, but"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":237.15,"endTime":241.8,"body":"it is going to take a long time."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":237.15,"endTime":241.8,"body":"Give yourself some grace, have"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":241.8,"endTime":246.48,"body":"some patience. And if you want"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":241.8,"endTime":246.48,"body":"to hear more on forgiveness, we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":246.48,"endTime":249.81,"body":"actually did an episode on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":246.48,"endTime":249.81,"body":"forgiveness that can help you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":250.05,"endTime":251.61,"body":"dig into this a little bit"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":250.05,"endTime":251.61,"body":"deeper."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":251.64,"endTime":254.1,"body":"Yeah. So if you're hearing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":251.64,"endTime":254.1,"body":"this on a Friday, like when this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":254.1,"endTime":257.49,"body":"drops live, it would have been"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":254.1,"endTime":257.49,"body":"Wednesday, the previous episode,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":257.55,"endTime":259.71,"body":"and if you've never heard us"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":257.55,"endTime":259.71,"body":"before, and just happened to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":259.71,"endTime":262.2,"body":"land on this episode, just go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":259.71,"endTime":262.2,"body":"the one right before this. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":262.23,"endTime":265.17,"body":"to get context. Yeah. Um, so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":262.23,"endTime":265.17,"body":"yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":265.2,"endTime":269.85,"body":"give yourself grace and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":265.2,"endTime":269.85,"body":"patience. Yeah, it is possible"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":269.85,"endTime":274.11,"body":"because it happened with us. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":269.85,"endTime":274.11,"body":"don't hold resentment anymore."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":275.43,"endTime":279.75,"body":"I was gonna say I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":275.43,"endTime":279.75,"body":"that this question like my heart"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":279.75,"endTime":281.97,"body":"goes out to this person because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":279.75,"endTime":281.97,"body":"I'm, I'm imagining when this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":281.97,"endTime":285.18,"body":"question is being asked, it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":281.97,"endTime":285.18,"body":"could be off base here, but that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":285.18,"endTime":289.8,"body":"this person is in a relationship"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":285.18,"endTime":289.8,"body":"with someone who's fresh out of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":289.83,"endTime":292.74,"body":"rehab, or they're just starting"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":289.83,"endTime":292.74,"body":"their recovery journey. And,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":293.43,"endTime":297.63,"body":"man, that is a weird time in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":293.43,"endTime":297.63,"body":"life. Hell, yeah. And I know how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":297.63,"endTime":301.77,"body":"you feel and God bless you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":297.63,"endTime":301.77,"body":"Hanging on and hanging in there."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":301.8,"endTime":305.31,"body":"It does get better. As long as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":301.8,"endTime":305.31,"body":"they keep working toward it and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":305.31,"endTime":308.43,"body":"you keep working toward it. Yes."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":305.31,"endTime":308.43,"body":"And it does get better. And like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":308.43,"endTime":312.75,"body":"if I had to get you to write"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":308.43,"endTime":312.75,"body":"down what you wanted out of life"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":312.75,"endTime":316.5,"body":"today, and you both continue"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":312.75,"endTime":316.5,"body":"this journey, five years from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":316.5,"endTime":319.08,"body":"now, you would look back at that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":316.5,"endTime":319.08,"body":"list and you would be like, wow,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":319.08,"endTime":323.1,"body":"I've gotten 10 times that stuff,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":319.08,"endTime":323.1,"body":"right? There's no limit the sky"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":323.1,"endTime":327.18,"body":"is the limit to how great things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":323.1,"endTime":327.18,"body":"can get when you're both working"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":327.18,"endTime":331.5,"body":"toward growth. So yeah, it gets"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":327.18,"endTime":331.5,"body":"better. The passion comes back."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":331.68,"endTime":335.85,"body":"The hope comes back. The world"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":331.68,"endTime":335.85,"body":"has color again, there's light"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":335.85,"endTime":339.93,"body":"in life, like it's beautiful. It"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":335.85,"endTime":339.93,"body":"gets incredible. It gets so much"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":339.93,"endTime":342.9,"body":"better, exponentially better."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":339.93,"endTime":342.9,"body":"Doesn't mean you won't have ups"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":342.9,"endTime":347.79,"body":"and downs still, but it gets so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":342.9,"endTime":347.79,"body":"much better. Yep. Okay, question"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":347.79,"endTime":351.81,"body":"two, is actually a question for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":347.79,"endTime":351.81,"body":"both of us. Do you both suffer"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":351.81,"endTime":354.3,"body":"from high anxiety stem from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":351.81,"endTime":354.3,"body":"childhood?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":354.99,"endTime":355.89,"body":"No,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":356.16,"endTime":357.18,"body":"no, we don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":357.21,"endTime":361.14,"body":"know. I do write. Matt"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":357.21,"endTime":361.14,"body":"has no anxiety. I think the only"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":361.14,"endTime":364.56,"body":"time he ever had anxiety was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":361.14,"endTime":364.56,"body":"when you took mushrooms. That"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":364.56,"endTime":364.8,"body":"one"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":364.8,"endTime":367.62,"body":"time was really bad. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":364.8,"endTime":367.62,"body":"honestly like, Okay, you answer"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":367.62,"endTime":370.92,"body":"then. Then I'll go I'll I'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":367.62,"endTime":370.92,"body":"kind of provide some some color"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":370.92,"endTime":371.94,"body":"here. But yeah, go ahead."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":372.12,"endTime":375.18,"body":"Oh, no, I had I had"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":372.12,"endTime":375.18,"body":"anxiety. As a child, I used to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":375.18,"endTime":378.66,"body":"have these crazy stomach aches."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":375.18,"endTime":378.66,"body":"And I realized as an adult that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":378.66,"endTime":381.36,"body":"those were really it was really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":378.66,"endTime":381.36,"body":"anxiety. I don't know"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":381.36,"endTime":385.11,"body":"necessarily where it came from."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":381.36,"endTime":385.11,"body":"But yes, I have been an anxious"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":385.11,"endTime":390.87,"body":"person since I was a young"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":385.11,"endTime":390.87,"body":"child. But I know for Matt, this"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":390.87,"endTime":391.71,"body":"is not the case."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":392.22,"endTime":394.92,"body":"No, like anxiety. Like, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":392.22,"endTime":394.92,"body":"think I've said it in an episode"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":394.92,"endTime":397.53,"body":"before. Like, I did have an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":394.92,"endTime":397.53,"body":"anxiety attack one time when I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":397.53,"endTime":401.04,"body":"took too many mushrooms. And it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":397.53,"endTime":401.04,"body":"was awful. It was horrible. It"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":401.04,"endTime":403.59,"body":"was actually the first time that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":401.04,"endTime":403.59,"body":"I was able to talk to Paige"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":403.59,"endTime":406.53,"body":"about anxiety, because like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":403.59,"endTime":406.53,"body":"with experience, do you remember"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":406.53,"endTime":409.44,"body":"that? And I was like, I'm so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":406.53,"endTime":409.44,"body":"sorry that I've ever felt that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":409.44,"endTime":414.96,"body":"Yeah. But I live with like a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":409.44,"endTime":414.96,"body":"constant hum of anxiety now. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":414.96,"endTime":417.75,"body":"it usually revolves around"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":414.96,"endTime":417.75,"body":"career stuff like work stuff,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":418.05,"endTime":421.05,"body":"which is so silly. Think about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":418.05,"endTime":421.05,"body":"like anxieties."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":421.2,"endTime":424.23,"body":"Anxiety is a normal"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":421.2,"endTime":424.23,"body":"emotion. Everybody has anxiety."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":424.23,"endTime":427.32,"body":"Totally. I didn't have anxiety."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":424.23,"endTime":427.32,"body":"No,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":427.35,"endTime":431.01,"body":"no. I had no problem like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":427.35,"endTime":431.01,"body":"public speaking. I had no"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":431.01,"endTime":433.23,"body":"problem getting on a stage. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":431.01,"endTime":433.23,"body":"had no problem like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":433.26,"endTime":435.21,"body":"trying new thing. No"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":433.26,"endTime":435.21,"body":"getting out of your comfort"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":435.21,"endTime":439.68,"body":"zone. No, he actually helped me"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":435.21,"endTime":439.68,"body":"with my anxiety once he"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":439.68,"endTime":442.26,"body":"understood what I was going"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":439.68,"endTime":442.26,"body":"through. Yeah, no, neither. We"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":442.26,"endTime":443.1,"body":"didn't both."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":443.37,"endTime":444.9,"body":"Now I've been very"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":443.37,"endTime":444.9,"body":"fortunate. We are complete"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":444.9,"endTime":448.05,"body":"opposites. complete opposites."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":444.9,"endTime":448.05,"body":"So she's anxious. Just pretty"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":448.05,"endTime":452.67,"body":"much bet that I'm not. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":448.05,"endTime":452.67,"body":"it's true. Yeah. Wow. Okay."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":453.6,"endTime":456.72,"body":"Question three. My husband has"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":453.6,"endTime":456.72,"body":"been in recovery for a little"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":456.72,"endTime":459.66,"body":"less than a year. Congrats to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":456.72,"endTime":459.66,"body":"him. But I feel like I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":459.66,"endTime":462.84,"body":"definitely codependent because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":459.66,"endTime":462.84,"body":"of how controlling I am. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":462.84,"endTime":466.11,"body":"suffocating him now that he's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":462.84,"endTime":466.11,"body":"good. And I'm still super"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":466.11,"endTime":469.47,"body":"nagging and control finances and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":466.11,"endTime":469.47,"body":"don't give him breathing room."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":469.86,"endTime":471.15,"body":"How do I let it go?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":472.38,"endTime":473.43,"body":"Felt that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":474.54,"endTime":475.41,"body":"talk about that."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":477.42,"endTime":482.43,"body":"Um, basically, this is I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":477.42,"endTime":482.43,"body":"want to say kudos to you for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":482.43,"endTime":485.76,"body":"having awareness that you know"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":482.43,"endTime":485.76,"body":"that you have a part in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":485.76,"endTime":488.4,"body":"something and that you feel like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":485.76,"endTime":488.4,"body":"you are codependent and you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":488.4,"endTime":491.91,"body":"still nagging and you feel like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":488.4,"endTime":491.91,"body":"there is still a problem, within"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":491.94,"endTime":494.64,"body":"whatever's going on in your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":491.94,"endTime":494.64,"body":"relationship or within yourself,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":495.0,"endTime":499.26,"body":"I would definitely encourage you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":495.0,"endTime":499.26,"body":"to really look within you to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":499.26,"endTime":502.83,"body":"focus on you find out what it is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":499.26,"endTime":502.83,"body":"that's holding you back, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":502.83,"endTime":507.57,"body":"know, why are you nagging? Why"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":502.83,"endTime":507.57,"body":"do you feel like you still need"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":507.57,"endTime":511.53,"body":"to suffocate him because you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":507.57,"endTime":511.53,"body":"there's something going on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":511.53,"endTime":515.04,"body":"within you do something for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":511.53,"endTime":515.04,"body":"yourself, not focusing on him?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":515.699,"endTime":519.569,"body":"I would imagine. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":515.699,"endTime":519.569,"body":"know, professionals will agree"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":519.569,"endTime":522.959,"body":"that some of this is habitual,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":519.569,"endTime":522.959,"body":"because you've been doing it for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":522.959,"endTime":527.339,"body":"so long. It's sort of like a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":522.959,"endTime":527.339,"body":"learned habit to learn behavior"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":527.369,"endTime":530.159,"body":"where you've had to watch"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":527.369,"endTime":530.159,"body":"someone for so long feeling like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":530.159,"endTime":532.709,"body":"you're responsible for their"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":530.159,"endTime":532.709,"body":"actions or what they will do and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":532.709,"endTime":536.039,"body":"won't do. And then when they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":532.709,"endTime":536.039,"body":"recover, it's sort of like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":536.039,"endTime":538.769,"body":"Wait, that just stops all of a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":536.039,"endTime":538.769,"body":"sudden, this doesn't work that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":538.769,"endTime":542.669,"body":"way. That's a process and it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":538.769,"endTime":542.669,"body":"plays out over time. And I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":542.669,"endTime":546.869,"body":"the fact that you have awareness"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":542.669,"endTime":546.869,"body":"this early on, put you pretty"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":546.869,"endTime":549.359,"body":"far ahead of the game, be proud"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":546.869,"endTime":549.359,"body":"of yourself and pat yourself on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":549.359,"endTime":552.989,"body":"the back for that. And yeah, as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":549.359,"endTime":552.989,"body":"Paige said, you know, there's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":553.019,"endTime":555.779,"body":"we've got episodes on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":553.019,"endTime":555.779,"body":"codependency, we've got guides"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":555.779,"endTime":558.929,"body":"on codependency, more tick tock"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":555.779,"endTime":558.929,"body":"videos, and I can count on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":558.929,"endTime":562.829,"body":"codependency and tons of tips"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":558.929,"endTime":562.829,"body":"and tricks and, and okay, it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":562.83,"endTime":565.5,"body":"complex. It's not like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":562.83,"endTime":565.5,"body":"it's not a quick fix. It's not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":565.5,"endTime":568.14,"body":"something that I can tell you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":565.5,"endTime":568.14,"body":"specifically how to let go. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":568.14,"endTime":568.68,"body":"a process."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":568.68,"endTime":570.87,"body":"Yeah, you don't just let"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":568.68,"endTime":570.87,"body":"it go. You don't just make the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":570.87,"endTime":572.37,"body":"decision. Alright, I'm done. It"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":572.4,"endTime":575.13,"body":"takes your awareness."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":572.4,"endTime":575.13,"body":"That's the first step. Yes. The"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":575.13,"endTime":577.71,"body":"willingness to actually look"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":575.13,"endTime":577.71,"body":"within you to make the changes"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":577.71,"endTime":578.76,"body":"necessary for you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":578.79,"endTime":580.98,"body":"Right. It's been a learned"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":578.79,"endTime":580.98,"body":"behavior over quite some time."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":580.98,"endTime":584.04,"body":"And so getting them be be gentle"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":580.98,"endTime":584.04,"body":"with yourself and understand"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":584.04,"endTime":588.03,"body":"that and he shouldn't be upset"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":584.04,"endTime":588.03,"body":"about it either, because you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":588.03,"endTime":593.04,"body":"wouldn't have this behaviors if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":588.03,"endTime":593.04,"body":"he hadn't earned it. Right. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":593.07,"endTime":596.34,"body":"it's an earned behavior on his"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":593.07,"endTime":596.34,"body":"part, to some degree, some of it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":596.34,"endTime":599.37,"body":"was there was always there,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":596.34,"endTime":599.37,"body":"right? But some of it is also"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":599.4,"endTime":604.83,"body":"learned. Yeah, earned. Okay."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":599.4,"endTime":604.83,"body":"Question number four,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":604.86,"endTime":605.61,"body":"my favorite number."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":606.06,"endTime":608.67,"body":"This isn't fair to my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":606.06,"endTime":608.67,"body":"minds three bodily opposites."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":609.45,"endTime":612.54,"body":"Will the addict eventually see"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":609.45,"endTime":612.54,"body":"the boundary not as a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":612.54,"endTime":617.22,"body":"punishment? Hobby struggling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":612.54,"endTime":617.22,"body":"with my boundary of not living"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":617.22,"endTime":620.52,"body":"with us until on the path of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":617.22,"endTime":620.52,"body":"recovery. Now you take that one."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":621.12,"endTime":624.15,"body":"Okay? Well, the addict"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":621.12,"endTime":624.15,"body":"eventually see this boundary,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":624.15,"endTime":627.48,"body":"which is the boundary is not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":624.15,"endTime":627.48,"body":"living with us until they're in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":627.48,"endTime":631.32,"body":"recovery. And I think that that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":627.48,"endTime":631.32,"body":"is a fair boundary. from your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":631.32,"endTime":634.77,"body":"standpoint, I think that is not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":631.32,"endTime":634.77,"body":"too much to ask of a partner,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":635.28,"endTime":639.39,"body":"someone who's living under your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":635.28,"endTime":639.39,"body":"roof, to not be using drugs and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":639.39,"endTime":642.45,"body":"alcohol to access I don't think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":639.39,"endTime":642.45,"body":"that that's, it's not a wild"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":642.45,"endTime":647.13,"body":"ask, it's really not. And if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":642.45,"endTime":647.13,"body":"this is what you need to do to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":647.13,"endTime":649.8,"body":"protect yourself, I think that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":647.13,"endTime":649.8,"body":"that's valid. And I think that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":649.8,"endTime":653.79,"body":"that's fair. Will this addict"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":649.8,"endTime":653.79,"body":"eventually see this not as a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":653.79,"endTime":656.61,"body":"punishment. So here's the thing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":653.79,"endTime":656.61,"body":"about addiction in general, when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":656.61,"endTime":659.07,"body":"you're in it, like when you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":656.61,"endTime":659.07,"body":"really in it, and you're using"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":659.07,"endTime":664.86,"body":"actively. You don't really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":659.07,"endTime":664.86,"body":"process things rationally,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":664.89,"endTime":668.01,"body":"right? You're going to look"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":664.89,"endTime":668.01,"body":"outward. And you're going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":668.01,"endTime":671.13,"body":"look at why is this someone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":668.01,"endTime":671.13,"body":"else's fault before you look at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":671.13,"endTime":674.49,"body":"your own part in these things."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":671.13,"endTime":674.49,"body":"And it's really, really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":674.49,"endTime":678.3,"body":"difficult, I know, as an addict"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":674.49,"endTime":678.3,"body":"for to take responsibility. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":678.33,"endTime":681.54,"body":"they will probably for quite"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":678.33,"endTime":681.54,"body":"some time blame you for this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":681.54,"endTime":684.36,"body":"tell you that you're evil and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":681.54,"endTime":684.36,"body":"that you're cold and that you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":684.6,"endTime":687.93,"body":"ruthless. And who knows what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":684.6,"endTime":687.93,"body":"else, you know, price has some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":687.93,"endTime":692.25,"body":"really ugly things. But I would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":687.93,"endTime":692.25,"body":"stand firm that this isn't, this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":692.25,"endTime":698.52,"body":"is not a huge ask. Right? So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":692.25,"endTime":698.52,"body":"will they ever see it as not a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":698.52,"endTime":704.04,"body":"punishment? You know? Yes. Most"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":698.52,"endTime":704.04,"body":"likely, I can't say for sure."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":704.07,"endTime":708.45,"body":"But most likely, because we all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":704.07,"endTime":708.45,"body":"have moments of clarity, even in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":708.45,"endTime":712.5,"body":"addiction and use like you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":708.45,"endTime":712.5,"body":"not, you're not high 24/7 Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":712.5,"endTime":714.99,"body":"there are times when you will be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":712.5,"endTime":714.99,"body":"sitting with your own feelings"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":714.99,"endTime":718.53,"body":"sober for a period of time. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":714.99,"endTime":718.53,"body":"I had these I mean, else I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":718.53,"endTime":720.69,"body":"high most of the time or drunk"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":718.53,"endTime":720.69,"body":"most of the time. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":720.69,"endTime":724.47,"body":"really, honestly, maybe like, an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":720.69,"endTime":724.47,"body":"hour a day or something that I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":724.47,"endTime":726.78,"body":"wasn't didn't have like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":724.47,"endTime":726.78,"body":"something actively in my system."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":726.78,"endTime":731.4,"body":"If that. If that is in those"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":726.78,"endTime":731.4,"body":"moments, life gets really tough"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":731.4,"endTime":733.92,"body":"because you don't have your,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":731.4,"endTime":733.92,"body":"your substance to numb"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":733.92,"endTime":736.5,"body":"everything. And you have to kind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":733.92,"endTime":736.5,"body":"of sit with all this. And so I'd"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":736.5,"endTime":739.47,"body":"like to think that at some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":736.5,"endTime":739.47,"body":"moment, he's going to be sitting"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":739.47,"endTime":741.84,"body":"in a traffic light and thinking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":739.47,"endTime":741.84,"body":"about where he's at right now in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":741.84,"endTime":744.36,"body":"life and thinking about the fact"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":741.84,"endTime":744.36,"body":"that he can't drive home to his"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":744.36,"endTime":748.59,"body":"family. And the reason why is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":744.36,"endTime":748.59,"body":"because he can't control this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":748.59,"endTime":752.13,"body":"problem. And that's a really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":748.59,"endTime":752.13,"body":"sombering and sobering feeling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":752.13,"endTime":755.55,"body":"where you're like, Oh, crap, in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":752.13,"endTime":755.55,"body":"that moment, I think that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":755.55,"endTime":759.48,"body":"they'll, they're more than"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":755.55,"endTime":759.48,"body":"likely to see it for what it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":759.48,"endTime":762.96,"body":"really is. Whether or not they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":759.48,"endTime":762.96,"body":"ever give you the validation of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":762.96,"endTime":766.62,"body":"that. I don't know only time can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":762.96,"endTime":766.62,"body":"tell is waiting for that. Time"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":766.62,"endTime":767.49,"body":"can tell. But"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":768.48,"endTime":770.61,"body":"and honestly, it doesn't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":768.48,"endTime":770.61,"body":"matter if they feel like it's a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":770.61,"endTime":773.55,"body":"boundary or punishment. It What"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":770.61,"endTime":773.55,"body":"matters is that you're doing it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":773.55,"endTime":774.45,"body":"to protect yourself."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":774.48,"endTime":776.31,"body":"And that was a perfect"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":774.48,"endTime":776.31,"body":"cherry on top. That's yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":776.31,"endTime":778.44,"body":"that's exactly it. That's the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":776.31,"endTime":778.44,"body":"perfect way to end that one, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":778.44,"endTime":782.43,"body":"think. Okay, question five is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":778.44,"endTime":782.43,"body":"choosing not to live under the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":782.43,"endTime":786.93,"body":"same roof too harsh of a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":782.43,"endTime":786.93,"body":"boundary? Is it me giving up? Or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":786.93,"endTime":791.94,"body":"am I right? That's, it's for the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":786.93,"endTime":791.94,"body":"best. So similar, but it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":791.94,"endTime":794.28,"body":"really about the severity of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":791.94,"endTime":794.28,"body":"boundaries. And so I'd like for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":794.28,"endTime":795.81,"body":"you to take this one page. Well,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":794.28,"endTime":795.81,"body":"I thought"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":795.81,"endTime":799.08,"body":"this is the one that you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":795.81,"endTime":799.08,"body":"were gonna go off on? Or is that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":799.08,"endTime":799.71,"body":"the next one?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":801.09,"endTime":803.91,"body":"I think this is the one I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":801.09,"endTime":803.91,"body":"was gonna go off on. It is yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":803.91,"endTime":805.23,"body":"so you go ahead, and then I'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":803.91,"endTime":805.23,"body":"go off."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":805.62,"endTime":812.97,"body":"Okay. Because I did."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":805.62,"endTime":812.97,"body":"Okay, yeah. So it's hard to tell"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":812.97,"endTime":815.31,"body":"people how to set boundaries up."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":812.97,"endTime":815.31,"body":"And that's kind of where a lot"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":815.31,"endTime":817.26,"body":"of us spouses struggle with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":815.31,"endTime":817.26,"body":"this, because they're like, is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":817.26,"endTime":820.05,"body":"it too harsh? Is it not look at"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":817.26,"endTime":820.05,"body":"your values, y'all, you got to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":820.05,"endTime":822.57,"body":"look at your values, if"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":820.05,"endTime":822.57,"body":"everything if all of your values"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":822.57,"endTime":828.33,"body":"are being, you know, Val, oh, my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":822.57,"endTime":828.33,"body":"gosh, I cannot talk today."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":828.72,"endTime":830.01,"body":"Try it again. Start over."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":830.28,"endTime":835.26,"body":"If your values are being"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":830.28,"endTime":835.26,"body":"violated, thank you, because I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":835.26,"endTime":837.51,"body":"was gonna say validate it. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":835.26,"endTime":837.51,"body":"it's like, that doesn't make"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":837.51,"endTime":837.75,"body":"sense."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":837.78,"endTime":841.95,"body":"I got you. The other half"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":837.78,"endTime":841.95,"body":"of your brand. Five, Baby Go."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":841.98,"endTime":846.09,"body":"Yes. If your values are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":841.98,"endTime":846.09,"body":"being violated over and over"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":846.09,"endTime":850.2,"body":"again, you feel like this"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":846.09,"endTime":850.2,"body":"boundary is like, too harsh."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":850.2,"endTime":855.69,"body":"It's probably not too harsh."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":850.2,"endTime":855.69,"body":"Honestly, like, I don't think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":856.44,"endTime":859.38,"body":"no, it's not too much to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":856.44,"endTime":859.38,"body":"ask once again, like, it's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":859.38,"endTime":860.73,"body":"too much to ask, like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":862.11,"endTime":864.87,"body":"depending on how it is in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":862.11,"endTime":864.87,"body":"your home, like, what is it?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":864.9,"endTime":868.56,"body":"What's going on? Is it I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":864.9,"endTime":868.56,"body":"looking at this question as you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":868.56,"endTime":873.09,"body":"saying, Is it me giving up? No,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":868.56,"endTime":873.09,"body":"I don't think it's you given up"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":873.09,"endTime":874.65,"body":"I think it's you protecting"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":873.09,"endTime":874.65,"body":"yourself."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":875.58,"endTime":880.23,"body":"So I, I've always looked"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":875.58,"endTime":880.23,"body":"at life and like the way that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":880.23,"endTime":882.63,"body":"things are traditionally done,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":880.23,"endTime":882.63,"body":"and I've always kind of like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":882.63,"endTime":886.38,"body":"shot my middle fingers at that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":882.63,"endTime":886.38,"body":"And so I think probably what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":886.38,"endTime":889.5,"body":"you're feeling here about like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":886.38,"endTime":889.5,"body":"is it me giving up is that like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":889.5,"endTime":892.23,"body":"this thought that a husband and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":889.5,"endTime":892.23,"body":"wife or partners have to live"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":892.23,"endTime":895.92,"body":"under the same roof? Okay, why"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":892.23,"endTime":895.92,"body":"who made that rule? Show me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":895.92,"endTime":898.62,"body":"where in the rulebook that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":895.92,"endTime":898.62,"body":"that's that show me what rule"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":898.62,"endTime":901.02,"body":"number that is because that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":898.62,"endTime":901.02,"body":"the Let's there's there's no"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":901.02,"endTime":905.22,"body":"rule that says that this giving"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":901.02,"endTime":905.22,"body":"up is equated with not living"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":905.22,"endTime":908.16,"body":"together, absolutely not, your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":905.22,"endTime":908.16,"body":"relationship can look however"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":908.16,"endTime":911.19,"body":"you need it to look, it's your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":908.16,"endTime":911.19,"body":"relationship, it doesn't need to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":911.19,"endTime":914.01,"body":"look like Hollywood's version of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":911.19,"endTime":914.01,"body":"it, or your friend's version of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":914.01,"endTime":917.31,"body":"it, or anyone else's version of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":914.01,"endTime":917.31,"body":"it. But once again, like it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":917.31,"endTime":919.59,"body":"not asking too much, and like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":917.31,"endTime":919.59,"body":"this is where I was going to go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":919.59,"endTime":923.82,"body":"off on is that I think that the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":919.59,"endTime":923.82,"body":"way that alcohol culturally is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":923.82,"endTime":926.46,"body":"presented to us is that this is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":923.82,"endTime":926.46,"body":"something that you should be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":926.46,"endTime":929.67,"body":"doing. This is a drug that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":926.46,"endTime":929.67,"body":"everyone should take it is the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":929.67,"endTime":933.78,"body":"only drug in existence that I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":929.67,"endTime":933.78,"body":"aware of, or you are criticized"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":933.78,"endTime":937.41,"body":"or questioned for not doing it,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":933.78,"endTime":937.41,"body":"I have been sober for longer"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":937.41,"endTime":940.41,"body":"than I ever used. So I've had a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":937.41,"endTime":940.41,"body":"lot of time to reflect on this."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":940.59,"endTime":943.98,"body":"And I'm not anti alcohol by any"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":940.59,"endTime":943.98,"body":"means. Like, I don't mind it, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":943.98,"endTime":946.74,"body":"have friends that love it. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":943.98,"endTime":946.74,"body":"will hang out with them while"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":946.74,"endTime":949.95,"body":"they drink, I will meet at bars"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":946.74,"endTime":949.95,"body":"for meetings like I will be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":949.95,"endTime":951.84,"body":"right, it doesn't bother me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":949.95,"endTime":951.84,"body":"smell that doesn't bother me, it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":951.84,"endTime":956.34,"body":"is not triggering for me. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":951.84,"endTime":956.34,"body":"don't care. I don't. But when I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":956.34,"endTime":960.0,"body":"think about what it really is,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":956.34,"endTime":960.0,"body":"it's an escape, it's a release."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":960.0,"endTime":963.51,"body":"And for most adults, it's just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":960.0,"endTime":963.51,"body":"about conviviality. And enjoying"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":963.51,"endTime":966.39,"body":"the moment, most adults can do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":963.51,"endTime":966.39,"body":"that. But I have lost my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":966.51,"endTime":969.36,"body":"privilege to chemical peace of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":966.51,"endTime":969.36,"body":"mind. And I accepted that and I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":969.36,"endTime":973.65,"body":"have no problem with it. What I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":969.36,"endTime":973.65,"body":"do have a problem with is people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":973.65,"endTime":977.07,"body":"that thinking that they are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":973.65,"endTime":977.07,"body":"entitled to take drugs all the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":977.07,"endTime":979.98,"body":"time, because alcohol is a drug."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":977.07,"endTime":979.98,"body":"And I think it's a ridiculous"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":979.98,"endTime":983.61,"body":"thing that we just kind of put"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":979.98,"endTime":983.61,"body":"out in the world that it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":983.61,"endTime":986.7,"body":"normal, it's okay, you should"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":983.61,"endTime":986.7,"body":"accept my drinking, you should"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":986.7,"endTime":989.1,"body":"accept the fact that I want to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":986.7,"endTime":989.1,"body":"be effed up and on drugs, it is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":989.1,"endTime":991.86,"body":"a drug, I'm going to call it a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":989.1,"endTime":991.86,"body":"drug as it is all the time. That"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":991.86,"endTime":995.82,"body":"is not normal behavior. And you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":991.86,"endTime":995.82,"body":"shouldn't feel like you're crazy"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":995.82,"endTime":998.49,"body":"for telling someone, it's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":995.82,"endTime":998.49,"body":"okay to be on drugs all the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":998.49,"endTime":1001.85,"body":"time. And if that means that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":998.49,"endTime":1001.85,"body":"don't want them under your roof,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1001.88,"endTime":1005.63,"body":"then great. That's fine. I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1001.88,"endTime":1005.63,"body":"that's fair. At what point do we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1005.66,"endTime":1009.32,"body":"as a society, we become so weak,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1005.66,"endTime":1009.32,"body":"that we have to put something in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1009.32,"endTime":1012.68,"body":"our bodies all the time to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1009.32,"endTime":1012.68,"body":"by day to day, and that's coming"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1012.68,"endTime":1015.86,"body":"from a drug addict that's coming"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1012.68,"endTime":1015.86,"body":"from someone who did this for 10"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1015.86,"endTime":1018.98,"body":"years of my life. Third of my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1015.86,"endTime":1018.98,"body":"life I spent doing this well,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1018.98,"endTime":1021.53,"body":"actually a quarter now I'm at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1018.98,"endTime":1021.53,"body":"40. So or close to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1022.97,"endTime":1024.44,"body":"that passion. Either way,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1022.97,"endTime":1024.44,"body":"this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1024.44,"endTime":1026.63,"body":"is my opinion on this,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1024.44,"endTime":1026.63,"body":"this is where I'm at with it, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1026.63,"endTime":1029.18,"body":"think that you should just stand"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1026.63,"endTime":1029.18,"body":"firm and that this is your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1029.18,"endTime":1031.58,"body":"relationship, it can look"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1029.18,"endTime":1031.58,"body":"however you want it to look. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1031.58,"endTime":1034.67,"body":"I think that you are entitled to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1031.58,"endTime":1034.67,"body":"live life with a partner that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1034.67,"endTime":1037.61,"body":"values and has the mental"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1034.67,"endTime":1037.61,"body":"capacity and bandwidth and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1037.61,"endTime":1041.18,"body":"sobriety to value you for what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1037.61,"endTime":1041.18,"body":"you are. And if they can't do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1041.18,"endTime":1044.87,"body":"that says all you need to know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1041.18,"endTime":1044.87,"body":"about them. And a fucking story"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1045.14,"endTime":1047.78,"body":"was I would drop this mic but it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1045.14,"endTime":1047.78,"body":"was kind of pricey."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1052.28,"endTime":1057.32,"body":"Oh my gosh, okay. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1052.28,"endTime":1057.32,"body":"that was awesome. I'm gonna go"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1057.32,"endTime":1062.63,"body":"to the next one. The next one. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1057.32,"endTime":1062.63,"body":"can add to that. Number six. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1062.63,"endTime":1065.27,"body":"what are some boundaries that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1062.63,"endTime":1065.27,"body":"you had with Matt while he was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1065.27,"endTime":1069.59,"body":"an active addiction? Um, well, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1065.27,"endTime":1069.59,"body":"didn't have anything that was a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1069.59,"endTime":1070.31,"body":"second part though."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1070.37,"endTime":1072.44,"body":"Right. The second part, so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1070.37,"endTime":1072.44,"body":"we have to go back to Matt, what"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1072.44,"endTime":1075.47,"body":"boundaries did you find"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1072.44,"endTime":1075.47,"body":"most impactful for you two part"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1075.47,"endTime":1076.52,"body":"question. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1076.55,"endTime":1078.56,"body":"yeah, so y'all go ahead. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1076.55,"endTime":1078.56,"body":"just wanted to make sure because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1078.56,"endTime":1082.37,"body":"otherwise, it'd be like another"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1078.56,"endTime":1082.37,"body":"question. Their minds by me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1082.37,"endTime":1084.56,"body":"being nitpicky. Go ahead answer"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1082.37,"endTime":1084.56,"body":"you were just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1084.56,"endTime":1087.53,"body":"trying to control mom"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1084.56,"endTime":1087.53,"body":"trying to control it. That was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1087.53,"endTime":1092.51,"body":"messed up. Anyway, no. Um, so I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1087.53,"endTime":1092.51,"body":"didn't like verbalize my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1092.51,"endTime":1097.07,"body":"boundaries. Technically. I got"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1092.51,"endTime":1097.07,"body":"to a point where I basically"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1097.07,"endTime":1104.69,"body":"stopped nagging and I stopped"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1097.07,"endTime":1104.69,"body":"really giving a shit and I guess"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1104.69,"endTime":1110.84,"body":"what the first boundary that I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1104.69,"endTime":1110.84,"body":"set was me deciding to live my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1110.84,"endTime":1116.33,"body":"life and make choices without"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1110.84,"endTime":1116.33,"body":"him. So I would go to my mom's I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1116.33,"endTime":1120.77,"body":"would go enjoy other people's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1116.33,"endTime":1120.77,"body":"company without him and I would"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1120.77,"endTime":1124.19,"body":"leave him at home and to suffer"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1120.77,"endTime":1124.19,"body":"and do whatever he wanted to do."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1124.19,"endTime":1128.51,"body":"And I got very indifferent with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1124.19,"endTime":1128.51,"body":"his actions and I would just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1128.51,"endTime":1132.56,"body":"kind of sit back and just keep"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1128.51,"endTime":1132.56,"body":"to myself unless it came to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1132.56,"endTime":1136.82,"body":"money. And I said, I'm I started"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1132.56,"endTime":1136.82,"body":"putting up boundaries with my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1136.82,"endTime":1140.6,"body":"ATM, your ATM withdrawals. So I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1136.82,"endTime":1140.6,"body":"read financial boundaries, for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1140.6,"endTime":1143.48,"body":"sure. Yeah, I would start"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1140.6,"endTime":1143.48,"body":"putting alerts on and stuff like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1143.48,"endTime":1148.04,"body":"that. But I didn't have I didn't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1143.48,"endTime":1148.04,"body":"know about boundaries, when he"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1148.04,"endTime":1151.52,"body":"was actively using. These are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1148.04,"endTime":1151.52,"body":"just things that I started to do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1151.55,"endTime":1156.02,"body":"naturally. And I'm going to let"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1151.55,"endTime":1156.02,"body":"him tell y'all what he found"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1156.02,"endTime":1157.13,"body":"most impactful."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1157.699,"endTime":1160.369,"body":"Yeah, like as she kind of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1157.699,"endTime":1160.369,"body":"described just now, I think that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1160.699,"endTime":1165.289,"body":"you nailed it. Like at that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1160.699,"endTime":1165.289,"body":"point in our lives. There"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1165.289,"endTime":1168.439,"body":"weren't a whole lot of like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1165.289,"endTime":1168.439,"body":"verbalize boundaries. And that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1168.829,"endTime":1172.519,"body":"partly due, I think, to be the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1168.829,"endTime":1172.519,"body":"fact that I was hiding my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1172.519,"endTime":1176.959,"body":"addiction and you weren't 100%"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1172.519,"endTime":1176.959,"body":"sure how much I was doing or if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1176.959,"endTime":1180.049,"body":"I was really doing it all the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1176.959,"endTime":1180.049,"body":"time. Like it was."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1180.56,"endTime":1183.47,"body":"Like I said, I thought I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1180.56,"endTime":1183.47,"body":"was just married to a relative"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1183.47,"endTime":1184.34,"body":"asshole. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1184.37,"endTime":1188.99,"body":"And the other part of is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1184.37,"endTime":1188.99,"body":"the fact that I was I was 26"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1188.99,"endTime":1194.99,"body":"years old when I got sober and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1188.99,"endTime":1194.99,"body":"at 26 years old. You can kind of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1194.99,"endTime":1199.4,"body":"hide some like, party behavior,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1194.99,"endTime":1199.4,"body":"you know, like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1199.58,"endTime":1204.02,"body":"yeah, cuz it was normal"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1199.58,"endTime":1204.02,"body":"for us to party with a 35 year"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1204.02,"endTime":1204.47,"body":"old,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1204.62,"endTime":1209.09,"body":"right? So, like 26 It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1204.62,"endTime":1209.09,"body":"still my opinion, probably a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1209.09,"endTime":1211.28,"body":"little late to be party."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1211.58,"endTime":1214.73,"body":"I was ready for it. You"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1211.58,"endTime":1214.73,"body":"agree four years earlier,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1214.76,"endTime":1217.13,"body":"I think the girls grow up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1214.76,"endTime":1217.13,"body":"faster than boys anyway. But you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1217.13,"endTime":1223.88,"body":"grew up like, way faster than"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1217.13,"endTime":1223.88,"body":"me. Yeah. But for me, what I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1223.88,"endTime":1229.28,"body":"found the most impactful was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1223.88,"endTime":1229.28,"body":"when she started to detach from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1229.61,"endTime":1233.39,"body":"me and what I wanted to do, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1229.61,"endTime":1233.39,"body":"how I wanted to kind of keep her"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1233.39,"endTime":1238.19,"body":"around, and have her in my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1233.39,"endTime":1238.19,"body":"misery and like, drink with me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1238.19,"endTime":1240.56,"body":"and smoke with me and do all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1238.19,"endTime":1240.56,"body":"those things. And she would look"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1240.56,"endTime":1244.49,"body":"at me like, do like, That's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1240.56,"endTime":1244.49,"body":"pathetic, like, I'm ready to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1244.49,"endTime":1247.7,"body":"grow up, and I'm ready to kind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1244.49,"endTime":1247.7,"body":"of like live life and do things."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1248.03,"endTime":1250.43,"body":"And she didn't make any"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1248.03,"endTime":1250.43,"body":"apologies for it. Either. She,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1250.46,"endTime":1253.19,"body":"she started to look at me with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1250.46,"endTime":1253.19,"body":"indifference. And that's like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1253.19,"endTime":1256.67,"body":"the scariest thing in the world"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1253.19,"endTime":1256.67,"body":"is like when your partner looks"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1256.67,"endTime":1258.74,"body":"at you, and they're just like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1256.67,"endTime":1258.74,"body":"sort of disappointed, but at the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1258.74,"endTime":1263.75,"body":"same time, they're like, Man,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1258.74,"endTime":1263.75,"body":"I'm just kind of done with you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1264.23,"endTime":1266.45,"body":"that and then you would just go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1264.23,"endTime":1266.45,"body":"do your own thing. Like you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1266.45,"endTime":1268.4,"body":"would tell me for instance, hey,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1266.45,"endTime":1268.4,"body":"we're going to my mom's on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1268.4,"endTime":1272.69,"body":"Sunday for dinner, and complain"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1268.4,"endTime":1272.69,"body":"and bitch and moan. And a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1272.69,"endTime":1275.45,"body":"times, I could get you to cancel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1272.69,"endTime":1275.45,"body":"and stay at home with me and do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1275.45,"endTime":1279.65,"body":"what I wanted to do. And then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1275.45,"endTime":1279.65,"body":"you started just doing it on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1279.65,"endTime":1281.9,"body":"your own, you would start"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1279.65,"endTime":1281.9,"body":"packing the bag, you wouldn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1281.9,"endTime":1284.96,"body":"even say anything, you wouldn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1281.9,"endTime":1284.96,"body":"be like arguing with me, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1284.96,"endTime":1286.82,"body":"would just pack the stuff. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1284.96,"endTime":1286.82,"body":"then at five o'clock, you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1286.82,"endTime":1289.37,"body":"just like, alright, well, I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1286.82,"endTime":1289.37,"body":"leaving, I'll see you and go."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1289.7,"endTime":1292.16,"body":"And I'd have to sit there and my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1289.7,"endTime":1292.16,"body":"filth and misery and sit with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1292.16,"endTime":1295.4,"body":"that. And over time, it really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1292.16,"endTime":1295.4,"body":"started to eat away at me. It"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1295.4,"endTime":1299.48,"body":"was her way of saying, I will be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1295.4,"endTime":1299.48,"body":"fine with or without you. I will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1299.48,"endTime":1302.69,"body":"take care of myself if I have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1299.48,"endTime":1302.69,"body":"to. I will do whatever I have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1302.69,"endTime":1305.99,"body":"do. But this is these are the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1302.69,"endTime":1305.99,"body":"things that we both at one time"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1305.99,"endTime":1309.77,"body":"agreed to do in life. And now in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1305.99,"endTime":1309.77,"body":"her own way, she was kind of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1309.77,"endTime":1312.14,"body":"saying like, whatever it is,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1309.77,"endTime":1312.14,"body":"whatever it is going on with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1312.14,"endTime":1315.29,"body":"you. This is not what we talked"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1312.14,"endTime":1315.29,"body":"about. And I'm going to do me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1315.32,"endTime":1319.34,"body":"and you do you? Yep. That was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1315.32,"endTime":1319.34,"body":"the most effective was like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1319.34,"endTime":1322.25,"body":"living living well is the best"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1319.34,"endTime":1322.25,"body":"revenge they say, you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1322.28,"endTime":1324.83,"body":"yeah, like living well,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1322.28,"endTime":1324.83,"body":"sometimes the best boundary as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1324.83,"endTime":1330.62,"body":"well. Right. Okay, last one. How"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1324.83,"endTime":1330.62,"body":"do you live with a functioning"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1330.62,"endTime":1335.0,"body":"alcoholic with children? Dang,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1330.62,"endTime":1335.0,"body":"yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1336.11,"endTime":1339.35,"body":"This one's kind of hard"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1336.11,"endTime":1339.35,"body":"because we haven't. Sydney, our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1339.35,"endTime":1343.34,"body":"oldest daughter was nine months"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1339.35,"endTime":1343.34,"body":"old. When Matt went to rehab, so"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1343.34,"endTime":1346.43,"body":"we only had nine months of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1343.34,"endTime":1346.43,"body":"functioning."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1346.699,"endTime":1349.279,"body":"alcoholic. Yeah, quote,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1346.699,"endTime":1349.279,"body":"unquote. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1350.45,"endTime":1352.82,"body":"And I have to say there"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1350.45,"endTime":1352.82,"body":"were a lot of red flags whenever"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1353.03,"endTime":1356.81,"body":"he would take Sydney to do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1353.03,"endTime":1356.81,"body":"something or stay up late with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1356.81,"endTime":1359.42,"body":"her being around like, I was not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1356.81,"endTime":1359.42,"body":"fully comfortable with him being"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1359.42,"endTime":1365.18,"body":"with her. But I don't think that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1359.42,"endTime":1365.18,"body":"we can talk too much on this. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1365.18,"endTime":1370.88,"body":"mean, Matt can based on Yeah, so"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1365.18,"endTime":1370.88,"body":"um, thing, but like for us? We"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1370.88,"endTime":1372.83,"body":"don't I don't really know how to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1370.88,"endTime":1372.83,"body":"touch that one."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1372.98,"endTime":1377.39,"body":"Yeah, so like personal"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1372.98,"endTime":1377.39,"body":"experiences. I wasn't a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1377.39,"endTime":1380.72,"body":"functioning alcoholic or drug"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1377.39,"endTime":1380.72,"body":"addict for a very long time with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1380.72,"endTime":1386.63,"body":"kids. Thank God. I wasn't, I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1380.72,"endTime":1386.63,"body":"just unlucky. Lucky that I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1386.66,"endTime":1389.33,"body":"happen to figure it out then."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1386.66,"endTime":1389.33,"body":"But I've got a really, really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1389.33,"endTime":1394.4,"body":"close friend who grew up in a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1389.33,"endTime":1394.4,"body":"home with functioning"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1394.4,"endTime":1399.5,"body":"alcoholism, and addiction. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1394.4,"endTime":1399.5,"body":"can think back like, so super"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1399.5,"endTime":1401.96,"body":"close, we've talked about this a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1399.5,"endTime":1401.96,"body":"ton and process a lot of issues"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1401.96,"endTime":1406.1,"body":"about it. And being raised with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1401.96,"endTime":1406.1,"body":"an alcoholic parent and an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1406.1,"endTime":1408.83,"body":"alcoholic home. Or if you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1406.1,"endTime":1408.83,"body":"listening, and you come from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1408.83,"endTime":1412.16,"body":"that background, you know what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1408.83,"endTime":1412.16,"body":"it was like, you know what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1412.16,"endTime":1415.43,"body":"that's like, you know, what it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1412.16,"endTime":1415.43,"body":"like to have emotionally"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1415.43,"endTime":1420.89,"body":"volatile and emotionally"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1415.43,"endTime":1420.89,"body":"immature parents. Also, what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1420.89,"endTime":1426.08,"body":"it's like to be around substance"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1420.89,"endTime":1426.08,"body":"use and substance abuse, and how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1426.08,"endTime":1430.16,"body":"scary that feels as a kid and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1426.08,"endTime":1430.16,"body":"not at the same time. Being"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1430.16,"endTime":1433.19,"body":"raised in it, you feel like it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1430.16,"endTime":1433.19,"body":"just normal. And I think that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1433.19,"endTime":1435.32,"body":"possibly the most dangerous"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1433.19,"endTime":1435.32,"body":"thing that he and I've talked"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1435.32,"endTime":1438.86,"body":"about was that it was it was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1435.32,"endTime":1438.86,"body":"totally acceptable to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1438.86,"endTime":1442.37,"body":"blasted on a Tuesday night. As"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1438.86,"endTime":1442.37,"body":"long as you were at work the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1442.37,"endTime":1444.59,"body":"next morning, and there was bank"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1442.37,"endTime":1444.59,"body":"and there's money in the bank."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1444.86,"endTime":1447.11,"body":"That's all that mattered. It"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1444.86,"endTime":1447.11,"body":"didn't matter what you said that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1447.11,"endTime":1450.14,"body":"night, it didn't matter how much"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1447.11,"endTime":1450.14,"body":"you drank, or where you drove"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1450.14,"endTime":1452.24,"body":"while you were drinking or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1450.14,"endTime":1452.24,"body":"anything else. That's all that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1452.24,"endTime":1456.95,"body":"mattered. So it really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1452.24,"endTime":1456.95,"body":"normalizes the behavior. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1456.95,"endTime":1460.4,"body":"since alcoholism and addiction"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1456.95,"endTime":1460.4,"body":"have scientifically been shown"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1460.4,"endTime":1462.74,"body":"to have a genetic component to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1460.4,"endTime":1462.74,"body":"them, you think about how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1462.77,"endTime":1466.01,"body":"dangerous that is for your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1462.77,"endTime":1466.01,"body":"children. So if you're living"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1466.01,"endTime":1468.71,"body":"with someone who isn't an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1466.01,"endTime":1468.71,"body":"addict, there's a there's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1468.92,"endTime":1472.16,"body":"likelihood that your children"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1468.92,"endTime":1472.16,"body":"could carry the same thing. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1472.16,"endTime":1474.95,"body":"their environment could very"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1472.16,"endTime":1474.95,"body":"well unlock it when they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1474.95,"endTime":1478.61,"body":"around that person. So I can't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1474.95,"endTime":1478.61,"body":"speak from experience here. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1478.61,"endTime":1480.89,"body":"so I'm not going to go on a limb"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1478.61,"endTime":1480.89,"body":"and tell anyone what to do. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1480.89,"endTime":1483.02,"body":"would just say you have to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1480.89,"endTime":1483.02,"body":"incredibly careful. And I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1483.02,"endTime":1485.24,"body":"that boundaries are probably"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1483.02,"endTime":1485.24,"body":"part of that conversation that I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1485.24,"endTime":1489.56,"body":"can't quite have. And I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1485.24,"endTime":1489.56,"body":"that that's incredibly complex"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1489.56,"endTime":1492.2,"body":"to like, you know, we're talking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1489.56,"endTime":1492.2,"body":"about parents that both have a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1492.2,"endTime":1495.68,"body":"right to their children. But if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1492.2,"endTime":1495.68,"body":"it's not a safe environment, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1495.68,"endTime":1498.74,"body":"think that that's a probably"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1495.68,"endTime":1498.74,"body":"illegal discussion session."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1498.77,"endTime":1499.4,"body":"Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1500.0,"endTime":1501.68,"body":"You know, something that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1500.0,"endTime":1501.68,"body":"you're really going to have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1501.68,"endTime":1505.01,"body":"process and make some really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1501.68,"endTime":1505.01,"body":"tough decisions on. But I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1505.01,"endTime":1509.69,"body":"that, in my mind, my belief is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1505.01,"endTime":1509.69,"body":"there's no such thing as a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1509.69,"endTime":1513.41,"body":"functioning alcoholic. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1509.69,"endTime":1513.41,"body":"like, it's like the most"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1513.41,"endTime":1516.32,"body":"ridiculous thing ever. It's like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1513.41,"endTime":1516.32,"body":"saying that, you know, I have a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1516.32,"endTime":1518.63,"body":"truck with a blown motor and I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1516.32,"endTime":1518.63,"body":"get to work every day, you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1518.78,"endTime":1521.21,"body":"fine everyday, like, No, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1518.78,"endTime":1521.21,"body":"don't like you're taking Uber,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1521.24,"endTime":1523.43,"body":"like you own a vehicle, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1521.24,"endTime":1523.43,"body":"doesn't really work. Yeah, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1523.43,"endTime":1525.74,"body":"on a tow truck all the time and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1523.43,"endTime":1525.74,"body":"doesn't make a difference. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1525.74,"endTime":1529.88,"body":"it's just a horrible example"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1525.74,"endTime":1529.88,"body":"there. But it's just what is the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1529.88,"endTime":1532.73,"body":"point like you're a functioning"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1529.88,"endTime":1532.73,"body":"alcoholic just be a functioning"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1532.73,"endTime":1535.07,"body":"human. Like there's no such"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1532.73,"endTime":1535.07,"body":"thing as a functioning"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1535.07,"endTime":1539.18,"body":"alcoholic. Like, you can just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1535.07,"endTime":1539.18,"body":"think about someone who's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1539.24,"endTime":1541.4,"body":"quote unquote functioning"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1539.24,"endTime":1541.4,"body":"alcoholic, how much more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1541.4,"endTime":1546.77,"body":"productive and intimate and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1541.4,"endTime":1546.77,"body":"amazing and creative they could"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1546.77,"endTime":1550.64,"body":"be if they weren't an alcoholic."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1546.77,"endTime":1550.64,"body":"So you can't say your function"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1550.64,"endTime":1553.1,"body":"alcoholic, that's like, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1550.64,"endTime":1553.1,"body":"know, that's like a, that's like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1553.1,"endTime":1556.43,"body":"the minor leagues man, like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1553.1,"endTime":1556.43,"body":"you're selling yourself short,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1556.43,"endTime":1558.14,"body":"you're selling your family"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1556.43,"endTime":1558.14,"body":"short, you're selling your job"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1558.14,"endTime":1560.69,"body":"short, you're selling everyone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1558.14,"endTime":1560.69,"body":"around, you're short, because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1560.69,"endTime":1565.55,"body":"you choose this path and this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1560.69,"endTime":1565.55,"body":"life. And, you know, I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1565.58,"endTime":1567.68,"body":"necessarily believe that whole"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1565.58,"endTime":1567.68,"body":"term functioning alcoholic. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1567.68,"endTime":1570.14,"body":"that's a really popular thing."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1567.68,"endTime":1570.14,"body":"And I believe that for myself"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1570.14,"endTime":1573.17,"body":"for some time, too. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1570.14,"endTime":1573.17,"body":"because you can, because people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1573.17,"endTime":1576.71,"body":"think that alcoholics are the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1573.17,"endTime":1576.71,"body":"dude under the bridge with the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1576.71,"endTime":1579.77,"body":"paper bag. That's what people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1576.71,"endTime":1579.77,"body":"think alcoholics are they think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1579.77,"endTime":1582.44,"body":"that they're homeless, they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1579.77,"endTime":1582.44,"body":"think, no, we're walking amongst"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1582.44,"endTime":1585.98,"body":"you, everywhere. Yeah, we're all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1582.44,"endTime":1585.98,"body":"over the place where you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1586.07,"endTime":1589.22,"body":"where your bosses, where your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1586.07,"endTime":1589.22,"body":"friends where your kids,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1589.25,"endTime":1593.48,"body":"teachers. There's a ton, we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1589.25,"endTime":1593.48,"body":"everywhere, all walks of life,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1593.48,"endTime":1596.87,"body":"and we appear normal, but we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1593.48,"endTime":1596.87,"body":"dying on the inside. Some of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1596.87,"endTime":1600.08,"body":"them just don't know it yet."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1596.87,"endTime":1600.08,"body":"They just don't know it yet. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1600.08,"endTime":1602.66,"body":"we're all selling ourselves"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1600.08,"endTime":1602.66,"body":"short. If you're not able to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1602.66,"endTime":1605.66,"body":"experience your emotions from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1602.66,"endTime":1605.66,"body":"beginning, all the way to the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1605.66,"endTime":1608.45,"body":"end, that means that you're not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1605.66,"endTime":1608.45,"body":"processing, which means that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1608.45,"endTime":1611.72,"body":"you're not learning, which means"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1608.45,"endTime":1611.72,"body":"you're not maturing, and over"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1611.72,"endTime":1614.51,"body":"time, that will bite you in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1611.72,"endTime":1614.51,"body":"ass and you won't be a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1614.51,"endTime":1617.78,"body":"functioning quote unquote,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1614.51,"endTime":1617.78,"body":"alcoholic anymore. You will be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1617.78,"endTime":1620.81,"body":"the dude under the bridge, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1617.78,"endTime":1620.81,"body":"will be the guy six feet under"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1620.84,"endTime":1623.81,"body":"you will be the guy in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1620.84,"endTime":1623.81,"body":"institution. That's what happens"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1623.81,"endTime":1625.43,"body":"when it's left uncapped. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1623.81,"endTime":1625.43,"body":"let's just say you're a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1625.46,"endTime":1628.64,"body":"functioning alcoholic. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1625.46,"endTime":1628.64,"body":"like, Are you kind of pregnant?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1628.64,"endTime":1632.24,"body":"Are you pregnant? Yeah. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1628.64,"endTime":1632.24,"body":"know, like, right. Yeah, you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1632.24,"endTime":1635.42,"body":"an alcoholic. Yeah, just because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1632.24,"endTime":1635.42,"body":"you go to work. No, alcohol was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1635.42,"endTime":1638.33,"body":"go to work. Yeah, there's just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1635.42,"endTime":1638.33,"body":"it's a spectrum. There varying"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1638.33,"endTime":1640.85,"body":"degrees of it. But at the end of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1638.33,"endTime":1640.85,"body":"the day, we all have to end up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1640.85,"endTime":1644.03,"body":"at the same place. If we don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1640.85,"endTime":1644.03,"body":"deal with it. You will, your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1644.03,"endTime":1647.99,"body":"life will end sooner than it was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1644.03,"endTime":1647.99,"body":"supposed to. Point blank, man."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1648.02,"endTime":1651.74,"body":"So how do you live with one with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1648.02,"endTime":1651.74,"body":"children? Incredibly carefully,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1651.74,"endTime":1655.58,"body":"I suppose. Yeah. It's really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1651.74,"endTime":1655.58,"body":"tough. This was fun. You said"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1655.58,"endTime":1656.72,"body":"Good. Did I?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1656.869,"endTime":1659.779,"body":"You're great at answering"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1656.869,"endTime":1659.779,"body":"questions like on a whim?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1660.409,"endTime":1663.499,"body":"No, no, maybe it's a gift"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1660.409,"endTime":1663.499,"body":"of mine. ask us more questions."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1663.499,"endTime":1665.659,"body":"I'm more than happy to ask what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1663.499,"endTime":1665.659,"body":"your answer questions about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1665.659,"endTime":1668.089,"body":"anything, anything relationship"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1665.659,"endTime":1668.089,"body":"stuff, whatever."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1668.659,"endTime":1672.259,"body":"Yeah, that was our last"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1668.659,"endTime":1672.259,"body":"question. From what we pulled"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1672.259,"endTime":1672.949,"body":"out. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1673.129,"endTime":1675.619,"body":"yeah, it was a fun one."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1673.129,"endTime":1675.619,"body":"Okay. You want me to recap it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1675.619,"endTime":1677.869,"body":"and get it off? Yeah. And close"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1675.619,"endTime":1677.869,"body":"us out here."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1677.899,"endTime":1679.909,"body":"Yeah, obviously, I can't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1677.899,"endTime":1679.909,"body":"talk today."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1681.5,"endTime":1685.52,"body":"Yeah, Obama said there'd"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1681.5,"endTime":1685.52,"body":"be days like this, right? I have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1685.91,"endTime":1689.24,"body":"way too often. You're awesome"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1685.91,"endTime":1689.24,"body":"what you're talking about."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1689.57,"endTime":1696.05,"body":"Alright, so happenings. You guys"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1689.57,"endTime":1696.05,"body":"have heard in the last episode,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1696.38,"endTime":1700.46,"body":"I just drew a picture of me."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1696.38,"endTime":1700.46,"body":"That's awesome. My beard, my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1700.46,"endTime":1704.78,"body":"curly hair. She drew a funny"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1700.46,"endTime":1704.78,"body":"doodle of me. You should take it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1704.78,"endTime":1706.73,"body":"up there and show the camera."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1704.78,"endTime":1706.73,"body":"And that's actually kind of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1706.73,"endTime":1710.39,"body":"funny. Anyway, a picture of it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1706.73,"endTime":1710.39,"body":"and posted we've got. So if you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1710.39,"endTime":1713.06,"body":"have more questions about any of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1710.39,"endTime":1713.06,"body":"this stuff, you can reach us via"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1713.06,"endTime":1716.57,"body":"social media, you can reach us"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1713.06,"endTime":1716.57,"body":"via email. And you can find all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1716.57,"endTime":1722.96,"body":"of those things at our website."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1716.57,"endTime":1722.96,"body":"www.tufo.com. That's T w fo.com."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1723.2,"endTime":1726.68,"body":"You can find us there. Reach out"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1723.2,"endTime":1726.68,"body":"ask questions on a personal"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1726.68,"endTime":1731.21,"body":"basis, whatever you want. And we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1726.68,"endTime":1731.21,"body":"try to get to everybody as soon"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1731.21,"endTime":1733.7,"body":"as we can. So if I haven't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1731.21,"endTime":1733.7,"body":"gotten to yet or page hasn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1733.7,"endTime":1737.75,"body":"gotten to yet, we will I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1733.7,"endTime":1737.75,"body":"promise. Check out old episodes."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1737.75,"endTime":1741.08,"body":"Check us out on YouTube, Tiktok,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1737.75,"endTime":1741.08,"body":"Instagram, Facebook, you name"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1741.08,"endTime":1743.3,"body":"it. We've also got an awesome"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1741.08,"endTime":1743.3,"body":"Facebook community now called"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1743.3,"endTime":1747.35,"body":"Tufo community. And you get a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1743.3,"endTime":1747.35,"body":"chance to get in there and not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1747.35,"endTime":1750.32,"body":"just interact with us but other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1747.35,"endTime":1750.32,"body":"wheelies other people who are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1750.32,"endTime":1752.06,"body":"dealing with this stuff, other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1750.32,"endTime":1752.06,"body":"people who are going through the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1752.06,"endTime":1754.28,"body":"same things and they have the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1752.06,"endTime":1754.28,"body":"same mindset that you're in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1754.28,"endTime":1757.85,"body":"right now, which is how do I get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1754.28,"endTime":1757.85,"body":"better? How do I grow? How do I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1757.85,"endTime":1760.58,"body":"get out of this crap that I'm in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1757.85,"endTime":1760.58,"body":"whatever it might be? We'd love"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1760.58,"endTime":1766.19,"body":"to have you. Until next time, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1760.58,"endTime":1766.19,"body":"am Matt. We'll see you"}]}