{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.25,"body":"I want this to come from"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.25,"body":"not a resentful place because"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2.25,"endTime":5.31,"body":"I'm not resentful about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2.25,"endTime":5.31,"body":"anything. I'm not a victim or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":5.31,"endTime":7.89,"body":"anything like that. I'm actually"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":5.31,"endTime":7.89,"body":"in a very healthy space. So this"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":7.89,"endTime":12.18,"body":"is for those that are angry in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":7.89,"endTime":12.18,"body":"the world right now with what"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":12.18,"endTime":14.34,"body":"they're going through. They're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":12.18,"endTime":14.34,"body":"right in the middle of it. Yes."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":14.34,"endTime":16.77,"body":"When you're right in the middle"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":14.34,"endTime":16.77,"body":"of it, because you I'm giving"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":16.77,"endTime":19.71,"body":"you permission to have those"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":16.77,"endTime":19.71,"body":"feelings, you are allowed to be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":19.71,"endTime":20.25,"body":"angry."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":24.69,"endTime":30.39,"body":"Welcome back. Well, come"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":24.69,"endTime":30.39,"body":"back to another episode of till"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":30.39,"endTime":33.99,"body":"the wheels fall off. I'm Matt."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":30.39,"endTime":33.99,"body":"I'm Paige. And we're gonna get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":33.99,"endTime":36.48,"body":"through this as best we can. I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":33.99,"endTime":36.48,"body":"dealing with a sibling over"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":36.48,"endTime":38.22,"body":"here. Tell them what you did."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":39.09,"endTime":41.64,"body":"I didn't go to the doctor"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":39.09,"endTime":41.64,"body":"in time. So my strep turned into"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":41.64,"endTime":42.63,"body":"bronchitis."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":44.73,"endTime":48.06,"body":"Notability they're mad."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":44.73,"endTime":48.06,"body":"Just out with it. That's exactly"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":48.06,"endTime":50.55,"body":"right. I live with an 80 year"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":48.06,"endTime":50.55,"body":"old man who doesn't believe in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":50.55,"endTime":51.15,"body":"doctors."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":51.18,"endTime":53.76,"body":"That's bullshit. I do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":51.18,"endTime":53.76,"body":"believe in doctors. When she"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":53.76,"endTime":57.81,"body":"gets sick. She's like, I thought"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":53.76,"endTime":57.81,"body":"it was viral. Okay, and when"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":57.81,"endTime":59.85,"body":"it's viral, they can't do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":57.81,"endTime":59.85,"body":"anything for you. But then Matt"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":59.85,"endTime":61.62,"body":"went, he started getting the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":59.85,"endTime":61.62,"body":"symptoms. He's like, I'm gonna"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":61.62,"endTime":64.53,"body":"go to the doctor. And he did and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":61.62,"endTime":64.53,"body":"they gave him a prescription"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":64.53,"endTime":67.08,"body":"because he has strep. So I was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":64.53,"endTime":67.08,"body":"like, Oh, well, shit. I'm way"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":67.08,"endTime":67.68,"body":"past it. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":67.68,"endTime":70.17,"body":"had strep because my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":67.68,"endTime":70.17,"body":"throat hurt just like yours did"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":70.17,"endTime":73.83,"body":"three days prior. If it's strep,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":70.17,"endTime":73.83,"body":"it's a great news because"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":73.83,"endTime":77.07,"body":"I had other stuff with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":73.83,"endTime":77.07,"body":"it, too. Okay, y'all, this is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":77.07,"endTime":78.9,"body":"just one of my character"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":77.07,"endTime":78.9,"body":"defects. Okay."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":79.02,"endTime":81.48,"body":"Anyway, if you're watching"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":79.02,"endTime":81.48,"body":"this on YouTube, you'll notice a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":81.48,"endTime":84.21,"body":"toilet paper roll. Oh, yeah. On"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":81.48,"endTime":84.21,"body":"our desk because"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":84.21,"endTime":86.82,"body":"I went there two boxes of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":84.21,"endTime":86.82,"body":"Kleenex is yesterday, y'all."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":86.82,"endTime":89.1,"body":"She filled up like yard"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":86.82,"endTime":89.1,"body":"garbage bags. Just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":89.1,"endTime":90.81,"body":"good toilet paper,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":89.1,"endTime":90.81,"body":"though. It's not like totally"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":90.81,"endTime":94.89,"body":"tearing up my nose. That's that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":90.81,"endTime":94.89,"body":"four ply. So I apologize in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":94.89,"endTime":98.67,"body":"advance that I sound ridiculous."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":94.89,"endTime":98.67,"body":"I don't know why y'all I used to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":98.67,"endTime":100.95,"body":"not ever get sick. I don't know"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":98.67,"endTime":100.95,"body":"what's going on this year. I've"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":100.95,"endTime":103.2,"body":"been getting sick a lot. If you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":100.95,"endTime":103.2,"body":"listen to some of the podcasts,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":103.2,"endTime":105.54,"body":"it's like I'm constantly getting"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":103.2,"endTime":105.54,"body":"a bug. So don't know what the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":105.54,"endTime":105.69,"body":"hell's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":105.69,"endTime":108.51,"body":"going on. It'll do that to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":105.69,"endTime":108.51,"body":"you. And maybe just kids, they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":108.51,"endTime":109.71,"body":"said, it'd be awesome."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":109.979,"endTime":113.429,"body":"It's fun. It'd be great."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":109.979,"endTime":113.429,"body":"Alright, so anyway, apologize in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":113.429,"endTime":115.559,"body":"advance. So what are we talking"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":113.429,"endTime":115.559,"body":"about today? Boo."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":115.62,"endTime":118.77,"body":"Okay, we're gonna get into"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":115.62,"endTime":118.77,"body":"a topic. I think that needs to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":118.77,"endTime":120.87,"body":"be addressed. And we've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":118.77,"endTime":120.87,"body":"addressed it here many times."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":120.87,"endTime":123.57,"body":"But we've got a lot of new"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":120.87,"endTime":123.57,"body":"listeners, a lot of new people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":123.57,"endTime":125.76,"body":"who are coming in. A lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":123.57,"endTime":125.76,"body":"people have just recently"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":125.76,"endTime":131.22,"body":"discovered us and what we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":125.76,"endTime":131.22,"body":"about. 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Okay."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":149.609,"endTime":152.159,"body":"Does he have like sort of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":149.609,"endTime":152.159,"body":"a feminine name or my?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":152.25,"endTime":155.52,"body":"No, he just doesn't. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":152.25,"endTime":155.52,"body":"there's at the end of the last,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":155.55,"endTime":156.99,"body":"the last name was like an S."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":157.14,"endTime":159.39,"body":"Oh, anyway, someone's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":157.14,"endTime":159.39,"body":"screaming in their car right"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":159.39,"endTime":159.66,"body":"now."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":160.17,"endTime":161.58,"body":"It's no,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":162.69,"endTime":167.22,"body":"sorry. Anyway, I'd seen"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":162.69,"endTime":167.22,"body":"that movie, where he portrays"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":167.22,"endTime":170.82,"body":"Bill Wilson. Bill Wilson is the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":167.22,"endTime":170.82,"body":"founder of Alcoholics Anonymous,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":171.18,"endTime":175.29,"body":"and he was married to Lois"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":171.18,"endTime":175.29,"body":"Wilson. And so the documentary"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":175.29,"endTime":178.98,"body":"covers the story of Bill Wilson."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":175.29,"endTime":178.98,"body":"Starting Alcoholics Anonymous,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":178.98,"endTime":183.03,"body":"it starts with him. Pre drinking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":178.98,"endTime":183.03,"body":"goes through his drinking sprees"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":183.03,"endTime":187.23,"body":"up until the time he starts a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":183.03,"endTime":187.23,"body":"and then and then post a and his"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":187.23,"endTime":192.03,"body":"wife, Lois Wilson is featured"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":187.23,"endTime":192.03,"body":"pretty prominently in this and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":192.21,"endTime":194.82,"body":"every time they talk about her,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":192.21,"endTime":194.82,"body":"your heart kind of breaks,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":195.3,"endTime":199.02,"body":"because they talk about her"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":195.3,"endTime":199.02,"body":"struggles as being the spouse of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":199.05,"endTime":202.59,"body":"the most famous alcoholic of all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":199.05,"endTime":202.59,"body":"time and what he endured to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":202.59,"endTime":207.51,"body":"this thing started. And just a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":202.59,"endTime":207.51,"body":"brief synopsis. He he was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":207.51,"endTime":213.15,"body":"unavailable to her while he was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":207.51,"endTime":213.15,"body":"a drunk, obviously, yeah. When"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":213.15,"endTime":218.34,"body":"he got sober, he dove into that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":213.15,"endTime":218.34,"body":"program as hard as one can and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":218.34,"endTime":221.97,"body":"became unavailable to her as he"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":218.34,"endTime":221.97,"body":"helped other people. And then he"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":221.97,"endTime":225.66,"body":"became unavailable as the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":221.97,"endTime":225.66,"body":"frontman of Alcoholics Anonymous"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":225.66,"endTime":228.87,"body":"and being caught up in, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":225.66,"endTime":228.87,"body":"know, all of that setting up the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":228.87,"endTime":231.72,"body":"traditions to make sure that the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":228.87,"endTime":231.72,"body":"fellowship, you know, would be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":231.72,"endTime":234.99,"body":"around long after he was gone."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":231.72,"endTime":234.99,"body":"And it's almost like right at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":234.99,"endTime":237.93,"body":"the very end of their life. She"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":234.99,"endTime":237.93,"body":"got a few good years with him"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":237.93,"endTime":241.74,"body":"before he passed away"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":237.93,"endTime":241.74,"body":"ultimately, yeah, of emphysema."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":241.8,"endTime":245.37,"body":"He's a big smoker. Yeah. But I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":241.8,"endTime":245.37,"body":"just she's like this tragic"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":245.37,"endTime":250.2,"body":"figure in this beautiful story"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":245.37,"endTime":250.2,"body":"about this famous alcoholic and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":250.2,"endTime":254.25,"body":"it's just like men, is that just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":250.2,"endTime":254.25,"body":"not the most is that that is the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":254.25,"endTime":258.27,"body":"best way to like surmise the way"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":254.25,"endTime":258.27,"body":"that codependence and spouses of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":258.27,"endTime":261.33,"body":"alcoholics are portrayed in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":258.27,"endTime":261.33,"body":"general. So we're talking about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":261.33,"endTime":265.05,"body":"the Forgotten partner today. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":261.33,"endTime":265.05,"body":"think it's a fitting topic. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":265.05,"endTime":267.78,"body":"think that it's something we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":265.05,"endTime":267.78,"body":"cover here and for new listeners"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":267.78,"endTime":270.24,"body":"and for old ones as well. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":267.78,"endTime":270.24,"body":"think this would be validating"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":270.24,"endTime":272.7,"body":"for you and I hope that you find"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":270.24,"endTime":272.7,"body":"something here that makes you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":272.7,"endTime":277.35,"body":"feel like you're not alone that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":272.7,"endTime":277.35,"body":"you do deserve a voice. Yeah. By"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":277.35,"endTime":279.99,"body":"all means, Oh, you were just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":277.35,"endTime":279.99,"body":"about to get going. I heard the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":279.99,"endTime":280.44,"body":"interview."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":281.85,"endTime":284.34,"body":"Yeah, you're letting me"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":281.85,"endTime":284.34,"body":"talk. Thank you. I'm sorry."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":285.27,"endTime":289.77,"body":"Okay, so after we watched this"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":285.27,"endTime":289.77,"body":"documentary, I thought it would"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":289.77,"endTime":293.4,"body":"be a good idea. Hey, let's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":289.77,"endTime":293.4,"body":"search for some documentaries on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":293.67,"endTime":297.09,"body":"the spouses, you know, so we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":293.67,"endTime":297.09,"body":"searched Al Anon or Lois or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":297.15,"endTime":301.23,"body":"codependent codependent and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":297.15,"endTime":301.23,"body":"there was no Not very many"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":301.38,"endTime":304.05,"body":"movies that popped up there was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":301.38,"endTime":304.05,"body":"a movie with Wynonna Ryder that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":304.05,"endTime":307.71,"body":"popped up that was about Lois"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":304.05,"endTime":307.71,"body":"was a call. When When love is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":307.71,"endTime":310.35,"body":"not enough, something like that."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":307.71,"endTime":310.35,"body":"So I think you're right. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":310.38,"endTime":314.28,"body":"And then there were, I couldn't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":310.38,"endTime":314.28,"body":"find like an actual documentary."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":314.79,"endTime":318.27,"body":"But it kept popping up with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":314.79,"endTime":318.27,"body":"adding documentaries. One after"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":318.27,"endTime":321.24,"body":"another one after another. There"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":318.27,"endTime":321.24,"body":"were there were several parades."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":321.24,"endTime":325.59,"body":"There were, you know, the show"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":321.24,"endTime":325.59,"body":"intervention, there were so many"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":325.59,"endTime":328.53,"body":"documentaries about how these"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":325.59,"endTime":328.53,"body":"addicts, you know about the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":328.53,"endTime":330.66,"body":"disease and how they got through"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":328.53,"endTime":330.66,"body":"it. And, and all this and that,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":330.66,"endTime":333.93,"body":"and I'm just like, it kind of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":330.66,"endTime":333.93,"body":"triggered me like it really did."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":333.93,"endTime":337.47,"body":"We were sitting in bed, and I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":333.93,"endTime":337.47,"body":"just kind of let loose, I was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":337.62,"endTime":341.37,"body":"cussing and, and I'm, I want"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":337.62,"endTime":341.37,"body":"this to come from not a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":341.37,"endTime":344.19,"body":"resentful place. Because I'm not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":341.37,"endTime":344.19,"body":"resentful about anything. I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":344.19,"endTime":346.89,"body":"not a victim, or anything like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":344.19,"endTime":346.89,"body":"that. I'm actually in a very"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":346.89,"endTime":350.94,"body":"healthy space. So this is for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":346.89,"endTime":350.94,"body":"those that are angry in the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":350.94,"endTime":353.31,"body":"world right now with what"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":350.94,"endTime":353.31,"body":"they're going through right in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":353.31,"endTime":355.29,"body":"the middle of it. Yes, when"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":353.31,"endTime":355.29,"body":"you're right in the middle of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":355.29,"endTime":357.81,"body":"it, because you I'm giving you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":355.29,"endTime":357.81,"body":"permission to have those"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":357.81,"endTime":361.71,"body":"feelings, you are allowed to be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":357.81,"endTime":361.71,"body":"angry. But it pissed me off"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":361.71,"endTime":366.6,"body":"because I feel like we have been"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":361.71,"endTime":366.6,"body":"forgotten. And we have gone"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":366.6,"endTime":372.57,"body":"through so much shit. By loving"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":366.6,"endTime":372.57,"body":"so hard. We love so hard in our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":372.57,"endTime":377.34,"body":"relationships. And we get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":372.57,"endTime":377.34,"body":"forgotten. There's nothing out"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":377.34,"endTime":379.08,"body":"there. Like there are some"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":377.34,"endTime":379.08,"body":"things out there. There are some"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":379.08,"endTime":381.54,"body":"resources out there. I'm not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":379.08,"endTime":381.54,"body":"going to downplay that there are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":381.54,"endTime":385.08,"body":"some, but not nearly as many as"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":381.54,"endTime":385.08,"body":"there are for the addicts."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":385.29,"endTime":388.23,"body":"Know, Like, I don't know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":385.29,"endTime":388.23,"body":"when the turn happened. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":388.23,"endTime":392.73,"body":"sometime in the last decade,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":388.23,"endTime":392.73,"body":"being in recovery kind of became"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":392.73,"endTime":395.19,"body":"like a badge of honor and like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":392.73,"endTime":395.19,"body":"something really cool and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":395.19,"endTime":397.98,"body":"something admired. And it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":395.19,"endTime":397.98,"body":"doesn't so much have the stigma"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":397.98,"endTime":402.6,"body":"that it used to. Because so many"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":397.98,"endTime":402.6,"body":"people have dealt with it like I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":402.63,"endTime":404.25,"body":"have we done the stats on this."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":402.63,"endTime":404.25,"body":"Yeah, we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":404.25,"endTime":406.68,"body":"did we have I mean, it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":404.25,"endTime":406.68,"body":"very common, obviously, like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":406.68,"endTime":409.08,"body":"there's a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":406.68,"endTime":409.08,"body":"struggling with that out there."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":409.2,"endTime":412.26,"body":"And I praise you. I think it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":409.2,"endTime":412.26,"body":"amazing what you went through. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":412.26,"endTime":417.27,"body":"think it's very, like you kudos"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":412.26,"endTime":417.27,"body":"to you. You deserve a fucking"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":417.27,"endTime":421.2,"body":"trophy. There's nothing wrong"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":417.27,"endTime":421.2,"body":"with that. But what about the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":421.2,"endTime":425.22,"body":"ones who suffered from your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":421.2,"endTime":425.22,"body":"hands? Yeah. What about the ones"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":425.22,"endTime":430.05,"body":"who 1000s had to deal with the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":425.22,"endTime":430.05,"body":"trauma? What about the ones who"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":430.05,"endTime":434.25,"body":"trust just we're doing the right"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":430.05,"endTime":434.25,"body":"thing as much as we could? And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":434.25,"endTime":437.76,"body":"we're getting shit on? Like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":434.25,"endTime":437.76,"body":"where's our voice? Where's our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":437.76,"endTime":439.98,"body":"trophy? Yes, I know, you can go"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":437.76,"endTime":439.98,"body":"to meetings, you can get it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":439.98,"endTime":444.48,"body":"safe. This is different. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":439.98,"endTime":444.48,"body":"not as big as it is for you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":444.48,"endTime":445.11,"body":"guys."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":445.38,"endTime":448.53,"body":"Yeah, it doesn't permeate"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":445.38,"endTime":448.53,"body":"society the same way. Like when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":448.53,"endTime":450.6,"body":"you tell someone that you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":448.53,"endTime":450.6,"body":"recovered addict, it's like you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":450.6,"endTime":456.39,"body":"get kudos and fist bumps and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":450.6,"endTime":456.39,"body":"things like that. And being the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":456.39,"endTime":460.11,"body":"spouse of someone in recovery,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":456.39,"endTime":460.11,"body":"or being the partner or spouse"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":460.14,"endTime":464.79,"body":"of someone who's still"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":460.14,"endTime":464.79,"body":"struggling, is something that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":464.79,"endTime":468.03,"body":"people just don't talk about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":464.79,"endTime":468.03,"body":"with a lot of pride in any way."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":468.06,"endTime":470.67,"body":"And I think it's something that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":468.06,"endTime":470.67,"body":"people are scared to talk about."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":470.67,"endTime":473.85,"body":"I think it's something that when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":470.67,"endTime":473.85,"body":"you look at your life, and you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":473.85,"endTime":477.18,"body":"say, Okay, who am I It has"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":473.85,"endTime":477.18,"body":"absolutely defined you in many"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":477.18,"endTime":479.85,"body":"ways. But that part of our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":477.18,"endTime":479.85,"body":"identity is left out of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":479.85,"endTime":482.76,"body":"conversations, and it's left out"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":479.85,"endTime":482.76,"body":"of certainly the mainstream"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":483.03,"endTime":486.78,"body":"world, like no one's really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":483.03,"endTime":486.78,"body":"discussing what what spouses and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":486.78,"endTime":490.53,"body":"family members go through. In"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":486.78,"endTime":490.53,"body":"alcoholism, addiction, they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":490.56,"endTime":494.79,"body":"often referred to as a family"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":490.56,"endTime":494.79,"body":"disease, a family illness. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":494.79,"endTime":498.36,"body":"that's because that the it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":494.79,"endTime":498.36,"body":"almost like, you know, you put a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":498.36,"endTime":500.88,"body":"rotten apple in a batch of good"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":498.36,"endTime":500.88,"body":"apples and all sudden, all of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":500.88,"endTime":504.3,"body":"them are rotten. That's sort of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":500.88,"endTime":504.3,"body":"what addiction does to family"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":504.3,"endTime":509.52,"body":"units, and companies and, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":504.3,"endTime":509.52,"body":"know, fellowships like churches"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":509.52,"endTime":511.5,"body":"and things like that, you get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":509.52,"endTime":511.5,"body":"someone like that in there, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":511.5,"endTime":513.63,"body":"they start to touch everyone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":511.5,"endTime":513.63,"body":"else. And suddenly everyone's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":513.63,"endTime":518.13,"body":"sick in some way. It's, it's, it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":513.63,"endTime":518.13,"body":"doesn't discriminate, and it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":518.16,"endTime":523.23,"body":"wrecks it absolutely. wrecks"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":518.16,"endTime":523.23,"body":"families. You guys go through"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":523.23,"endTime":525.93,"body":"this stuff. And when you come"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":523.23,"endTime":525.93,"body":"out the other end of it, there's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":525.93,"endTime":528.75,"body":"just not a hell of a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":525.93,"endTime":528.75,"body":"resources out there to talk"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":528.75,"endTime":532.05,"body":"about what you've been through,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":528.75,"endTime":532.05,"body":"that will hold space for you and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":532.05,"endTime":536.19,"body":"your resentment and your anger,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":532.05,"endTime":536.19,"body":"which is, I mean, you should be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":536.19,"endTime":539.16,"body":"validated, you should be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":536.19,"endTime":539.16,"body":"validated that it's okay to feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":539.16,"endTime":542.52,"body":"angry, like your life has been"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":539.16,"endTime":542.52,"body":"derailed by something that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":542.52,"endTime":545.94,"body":"wasn't your choosing. Right,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":542.52,"endTime":545.94,"body":"right. And addiction was at some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":545.94,"endTime":548.4,"body":"point. So when the disease"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":545.94,"endTime":548.4,"body":"concept of addiction came into"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":548.4,"endTime":553.02,"body":"play, one major benefit that it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":548.4,"endTime":553.02,"body":"had was it D stigmatized"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":553.05,"endTime":556.59,"body":"addiction as a moral failure."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":553.05,"endTime":556.59,"body":"And it started to look at it as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":556.59,"endTime":561.39,"body":"a disease of the brain a disease"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":556.59,"endTime":561.39,"body":"of the mind. And I look at okay,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":561.39,"endTime":564.93,"body":"so if a disease of the mind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":561.39,"endTime":564.93,"body":"exists in just this one person,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":565.35,"endTime":568.59,"body":"then how is it that everyone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":565.35,"endTime":568.59,"body":"else around them ends up just as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":568.59,"endTime":571.41,"body":"sick and we're not calling it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":568.59,"endTime":571.41,"body":"anything except for essentially"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":571.44,"endTime":574.35,"body":"a moral failing? Yeah, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":571.44,"endTime":574.35,"body":"should just leave him you should"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":574.35,"endTime":576.15,"body":"just go What's wrong with you?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":574.35,"endTime":576.15,"body":"Why"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":576.15,"endTime":578.82,"body":"would you study pick up"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":576.15,"endTime":578.82,"body":"put up with that? Yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":578.82,"endTime":579.45,"body":"And like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":580.14,"endTime":582.15,"body":"I don't want to get too"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":580.14,"endTime":582.15,"body":"too far off the rails to this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":582.15,"endTime":585.72,"body":"quickly, but going when you look"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":582.15,"endTime":585.72,"body":"at so love, I think can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":585.72,"endTime":592.47,"body":"universally be agreed as natural"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":585.72,"endTime":592.47,"body":"human biology. The capacity to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":592.47,"endTime":596.82,"body":"love is unique to us, and to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":592.47,"endTime":596.82,"body":"show affection for other people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":596.82,"endTime":600.45,"body":"and to self sacrifice for other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":596.82,"endTime":600.45,"body":"people against you. your best"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":600.45,"endTime":603.84,"body":"interest is love. That is true"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":600.45,"endTime":603.84,"body":"love. And what these people will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":603.84,"endTime":609.27,"body":"do for an addict and not get it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":603.84,"endTime":609.27,"body":"reciprocated does have effects"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":609.3,"endTime":613.59,"body":"that are far reaching and deep"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":609.3,"endTime":613.59,"body":"and dramatic. And no one's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":613.59,"endTime":617.19,"body":"discussing what's actually going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":613.59,"endTime":617.19,"body":"on in the codependent in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":617.19,"endTime":620.16,"body":"children in the family members"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":617.19,"endTime":620.16,"body":"have these people that are doing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":620.16,"endTime":623.52,"body":"this. It's just not discussed."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":620.16,"endTime":623.52,"body":"And we have, you know, several"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":623.52,"endTime":626.07,"body":"theories as to why it's not as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":623.52,"endTime":626.07,"body":"popular. But I think it sort of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":626.07,"endTime":629.46,"body":"goes back to that, that feeling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":626.07,"endTime":629.46,"body":"that it's sort of like a moral"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":629.46,"endTime":633.12,"body":"failing. Yeah. You're pretty"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":629.46,"endTime":633.12,"body":"emotional right now."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":634.02,"endTime":636.36,"body":"Oh, sorry. Yeah. No, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":637.14,"endTime":640.53,"body":"think it's important that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":637.14,"endTime":640.53,"body":"we, this is the side of it that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":640.53,"endTime":643.35,"body":"no one gets to see. And if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":640.53,"endTime":643.35,"body":"you're listening, you don't see"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":643.35,"endTime":645.72,"body":"it. But I mean, extremely"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":643.35,"endTime":645.72,"body":"emotional right now, because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":645.72,"endTime":647.7,"body":"this stuff, this is this was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":645.72,"endTime":647.7,"body":"your life."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":647.73,"endTime":651.15,"body":"But it's hard to speak up"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":647.73,"endTime":651.15,"body":"and say that I'm angry or that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":651.15,"endTime":654.99,"body":"I've been angry about it."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":651.15,"endTime":654.99,"body":"Because, like you said, people"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":654.99,"endTime":659.4,"body":"look at it. I'm the bad guy. I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":654.99,"endTime":659.4,"body":"wrong for feeling angry, like I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":659.4,"endTime":666.96,"body":"it's, the spouses get told and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":659.4,"endTime":666.96,"body":"judged that they're wrong for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":666.96,"endTime":670.92,"body":"feeling that way. And I think"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":666.96,"endTime":670.92,"body":"that's complete bullshit. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":671.13,"endTime":675.09,"body":"I think so I can feel this way,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":671.13,"endTime":675.09,"body":"right. And I think that spouses"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":675.09,"endTime":680.31,"body":"can feel this way. But they can"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":675.09,"endTime":680.31,"body":"also recover. And they can go"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":680.31,"endTime":684.03,"body":"and get help themselves to, they"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":680.31,"endTime":684.03,"body":"can get help with all the trauma"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":684.03,"endTime":687.48,"body":"that they've gone through. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":684.03,"endTime":687.48,"body":"I'm not saying this is like, sit"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":687.48,"endTime":690.24,"body":"in that anger. And it's all of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":687.48,"endTime":690.24,"body":"the addicts fault, because it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":690.24,"endTime":695.34,"body":"not all the addicts fault. But a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":690.24,"endTime":695.34,"body":"lot of a lot of it is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":695.7,"endTime":697.56,"body":"a lot of that stuff"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":695.7,"endTime":697.56,"body":"wouldn't have transpired. Had"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":697.56,"endTime":700.83,"body":"that person not been abusing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":697.56,"endTime":700.83,"body":"drugs and alcohol, let's just be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":700.83,"endTime":706.38,"body":"real about it. Right? Like, a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":700.83,"endTime":706.38,"body":"good friend of mine. The good"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":706.38,"endTime":713.31,"body":"doctor tells me that that's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":706.38,"endTime":713.31,"body":"show, is it. He says that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":713.7,"endTime":718.29,"body":"nature, loads the gun in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":713.7,"endTime":718.29,"body":"environment pulls the trigger."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":719.13,"endTime":722.43,"body":"So a lot of the things that were"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":719.13,"endTime":722.43,"body":"inside me, they were already"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":722.43,"endTime":724.74,"body":"there, I believe that they were"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":722.43,"endTime":724.74,"body":"already there, and my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":724.74,"endTime":728.67,"body":"environment unlocked them. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":724.74,"endTime":728.67,"body":"you had some of that same stuff,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":728.67,"endTime":734.73,"body":"perhaps. But your environment"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":728.67,"endTime":734.73,"body":"was a direct result of me. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":734.73,"endTime":737.82,"body":"it's not exactly the same thing."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":734.73,"endTime":737.82,"body":"Right? You know, like I have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":737.82,"endTime":741.57,"body":"caused this in people that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":737.82,"endTime":741.57,"body":"otherwise would have been fine."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":741.57,"endTime":744.18,"body":"Let's imagine in a different"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":741.57,"endTime":744.18,"body":"universe in a parallel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":744.18,"endTime":750.36,"body":"dimension. We never met, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":744.18,"endTime":750.36,"body":"probably be fine. Just being"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":750.36,"endTime":750.93,"body":"real, right?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":750.96,"endTime":755.1,"body":"Maybe, maybe I would have"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":750.96,"endTime":755.1,"body":"found somebody else. Similar"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":755.1,"endTime":759.06,"body":"that I thought I could love, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":755.1,"endTime":759.06,"body":"know, to change. Love them so"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":759.06,"endTime":761.73,"body":"hard that they would change"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":759.06,"endTime":761.73,"body":"because if they loved me as much"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":761.73,"endTime":764.43,"body":"as I love them, they would do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":761.73,"endTime":764.43,"body":"what I want them to do."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":764.49,"endTime":766.77,"body":"You did always like those"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":764.49,"endTime":766.77,"body":"project boys, didn't you?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":766.8,"endTime":770.04,"body":"Oh, yeah. Like that,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":766.8,"endTime":770.04,"body":"boys?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":770.1,"endTime":773.34,"body":"I know you do. I know you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":770.1,"endTime":773.34,"body":"do. And I'm grateful for that."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":773.67,"endTime":776.82,"body":"I did want to address"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":773.67,"endTime":776.82,"body":"something that I've noticed"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":776.85,"endTime":783.6,"body":"recently, too, that some"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":776.85,"endTime":783.6,"body":"recovering addicts say that it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":783.6,"endTime":789.09,"body":"is harder to love and add it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":783.6,"endTime":789.09,"body":"than it was to get sober. Wow."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":789.18,"endTime":794.43,"body":"And that's kind of that's kind"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":789.18,"endTime":794.43,"body":"of powerful. Because we just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":794.43,"endTime":797.82,"body":"love so fucking hard. And we're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":794.43,"endTime":797.82,"body":"just like trying to give you our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":797.82,"endTime":803.94,"body":"all we don't get it in return."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":797.82,"endTime":803.94,"body":"But you can take your alcohol"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":803.94,"endTime":806.64,"body":"away and you can work on a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":803.94,"endTime":806.64,"body":"program and better yourself and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":806.64,"endTime":811.17,"body":"it's very personal for us. We"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":806.64,"endTime":811.17,"body":"love you so much. We can't just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":811.35,"endTime":814.14,"body":"get rid of you. It's so freakin"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":814.14,"endTime":818.07,"body":"tricky. And I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":814.14,"endTime":818.07,"body":"messaging someone in the Tufo"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":818.07,"endTime":823.11,"body":"community today and I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":818.07,"endTime":823.11,"body":"this, this business of being"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":823.41,"endTime":827.52,"body":"enmeshed with someone and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":823.41,"endTime":827.52,"body":"addiction is so complicated."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":827.52,"endTime":831.27,"body":"It's so complex, it's not just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":827.52,"endTime":831.27,"body":"as easy as just take care of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":831.27,"endTime":834.75,"body":"yourself and leave are just make"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":831.27,"endTime":834.75,"body":"the decision to go. It's like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":834.75,"endTime":837.6,"body":"you can't help love, right? We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":834.75,"endTime":837.6,"body":"were talking about love and like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":837.6,"endTime":840.81,"body":"how that is something unique to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":837.6,"endTime":840.81,"body":"humans and how you can you love"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":840.81,"endTime":846.21,"body":"someone and you want to talk"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":840.81,"endTime":846.21,"body":"about people saying that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":846.21,"endTime":849.0,"body":"have no control over your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":846.21,"endTime":849.0,"body":"addiction. Like you can't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":849.0,"endTime":852.72,"body":"necessarily control who you love"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":849.0,"endTime":852.72,"body":"either. Like you can't, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":852.72,"endTime":856.2,"body":"can't help the fact that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":852.72,"endTime":856.2,"body":"love our children. You just you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":856.2,"endTime":860.04,"body":"love them. Yeah, you can't just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":856.2,"endTime":860.04,"body":"make that go away. When we talk"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":860.04,"endTime":862.83,"body":"about powerlessness. I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":860.04,"endTime":862.83,"body":"that love is a more I would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":862.83,"endTime":867.93,"body":"argue love is more powerless, of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":862.83,"endTime":867.93,"body":"an emotion than addiction ever"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":867.93,"endTime":871.65,"body":"was for me. So I can absolutely"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":867.93,"endTime":871.65,"body":"see that. Like, the way that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":871.65,"endTime":876.0,"body":"love somebody is it transcends"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":871.65,"endTime":876.0,"body":"everything. Yeah, it transcends"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":876.03,"endTime":879.09,"body":"everything. You know, I believe"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":876.03,"endTime":879.09,"body":"in the power of love and I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":879.09,"endTime":883.8,"body":"believe that there is something"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":879.09,"endTime":883.8,"body":"to that. And the way that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":883.8,"endTime":887.49,"body":"codependence display it it's,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":883.8,"endTime":887.49,"body":"it's the most beautiful thing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":887.49,"endTime":890.73,"body":"and it's the most tragic thing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":887.49,"endTime":890.73,"body":"in the world. Yeah. It really is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":890.73,"endTime":894.33,"body":"like it's this business of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":890.73,"endTime":894.33,"body":"dealing with a with an addict."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":894.33,"endTime":898.92,"body":"It's like on one hand, we should"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":894.33,"endTime":898.92,"body":"everyone should hold space for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":898.92,"endTime":904.02,"body":"you to say that I want you to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":898.92,"endTime":904.02,"body":"better than you are. And I wish"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":904.02,"endTime":906.84,"body":"you would just do the right"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":904.02,"endTime":906.84,"body":"thing. And at the same time"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":906.9,"endTime":910.2,"body":"understanding that I can't make"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":906.9,"endTime":910.2,"body":"you do the right thing, like all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":910.2,"endTime":912.48,"body":"those, those three thoughts are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":910.2,"endTime":912.48,"body":"going on in your head all at the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":912.48,"endTime":915.33,"body":"same time. How is that not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":912.48,"endTime":915.33,"body":"confusing? You know, it is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":915.33,"endTime":918.66,"body":"confusing, it is painful. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":915.33,"endTime":918.66,"body":"there's just not a whole lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":918.66,"endTime":923.4,"body":"people advocating that these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":918.66,"endTime":923.4,"body":"people have a voice. Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":923.4,"endTime":925.89,"body":"because at the end of the day,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":923.4,"endTime":925.89,"body":"there's not a clean cut solution"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":925.89,"endTime":928.38,"body":"for it. It's like for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":925.89,"endTime":928.38,"body":"alcoholics, you can you can work"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":928.38,"endTime":932.43,"body":"the 12 steps, a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":928.38,"endTime":932.43,"body":"recover because of it. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":932.43,"endTime":935.4,"body":"know Al Anon exists, I know a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":932.43,"endTime":935.4,"body":"ton of people find recovering Al"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":935.4,"endTime":939.18,"body":"Anon. But if you look at the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":935.4,"endTime":939.18,"body":"numbers in AAA groups versus the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":939.18,"endTime":943.41,"body":"numbers and Al Anon groups,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":939.18,"endTime":943.41,"body":"they're not even close, they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":943.41,"endTime":947.73,"body":"not even close. There are many"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":943.41,"endTime":947.73,"body":"more accessible AAA groups all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":947.73,"endTime":951.54,"body":"over the world. And there are Al"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":947.73,"endTime":951.54,"body":"Anon groups, which is striking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":951.54,"endTime":956.49,"body":"to me, because behind every"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":951.54,"endTime":956.49,"body":"alcoholic is a family unit that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":956.49,"endTime":959.73,"body":"was affected, that is also"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":956.49,"endTime":959.73,"body":"suffering, right? So there's,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":959.76,"endTime":962.22,"body":"you would think they'd be equal,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":959.76,"endTime":962.22,"body":"if not more allanon groups,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":962.22,"endTime":966.27,"body":"because for every one, like the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":962.22,"endTime":966.27,"body":"addict can touch 25 people on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":966.27,"endTime":969.81,"body":"average, that were affected by"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":966.27,"endTime":969.81,"body":"this addiction. Yeah, one person"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":969.81,"endTime":973.62,"body":"infects 25. Yet the numbers are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":969.81,"endTime":973.62,"body":"so much smaller, and the other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":973.65,"endTime":975.63,"body":"fellowship. And I don't think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":973.65,"endTime":975.63,"body":"it's because it's like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":975.63,"endTime":978.63,"body":"ineffective or whatever, I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":975.63,"endTime":978.63,"body":"that the, the conversation"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":978.63,"endTime":980.82,"body":"around what this really is, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":978.63,"endTime":980.82,"body":"what's going on is just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":980.82,"endTime":985.53,"body":"confusing. And there's so much"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":980.82,"endTime":985.53,"body":"of the heart involved. It's so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":985.53,"endTime":988.71,"body":"complex, and it takes so much"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":985.53,"endTime":988.71,"body":"time to recover from an educate"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":988.71,"endTime":994.44,"body":"yourself on. It's really, really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":988.71,"endTime":994.44,"body":"freaking difficult. So, uh,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":994.44,"endTime":998.79,"body":"something that we were talking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":994.44,"endTime":998.79,"body":"about, and perhaps a reason that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":999.3,"endTime":1004.01,"body":"this is so damn confusing is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":999.3,"endTime":1004.01,"body":"when I looked before I ever got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1004.01,"endTime":1007.13,"body":"sober. I knew what a happy life"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1004.01,"endTime":1007.13,"body":"look like I knew what happy"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1007.16,"endTime":1011.81,"body":"happily ever after look like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1007.16,"endTime":1011.81,"body":"for people in my shoes. Like I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1011.81,"endTime":1014.51,"body":"knew when addicts got sober what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1011.81,"endTime":1014.51,"body":"their life could look like, as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1014.51,"endTime":1020.36,"body":"Hollywood told me, so TV shows"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1014.51,"endTime":1020.36,"body":"told me so books told me so they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1020.36,"endTime":1022.7,"body":"would, they would talk about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1020.36,"endTime":1022.7,"body":"this, this, you know, this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1023.03,"endTime":1026.24,"body":"triumphant story of this person"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1023.03,"endTime":1026.24,"body":"that, you know, went to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1026.24,"endTime":1028.82,"body":"recovery, they hit rock bottom,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1026.24,"endTime":1028.82,"body":"they started working, and they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1028.82,"endTime":1031.67,"body":"got better. And then everything"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1028.82,"endTime":1031.67,"body":"was happily ever after in life"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1031.67,"endTime":1034.52,"body":"was beautiful. And that's just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1031.67,"endTime":1034.52,"body":"what it looked like. And so I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1034.52,"endTime":1037.55,"body":"like, okay, that's what it looks"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1034.52,"endTime":1037.55,"body":"like. But what does happily ever"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1037.55,"endTime":1043.82,"body":"after look like for the partner?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1037.55,"endTime":1043.82,"body":"It's not really clear to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1043.82,"endTime":1047.96,"body":"anybody. No, it's not because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1043.82,"endTime":1047.96,"body":"it's, it's also split. There's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1047.96,"endTime":1051.56,"body":"lot of people who don't make it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1047.96,"endTime":1051.56,"body":"out of this thing, right. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1051.56,"endTime":1054.83,"body":"their happily ever after, looks"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1051.56,"endTime":1054.83,"body":"like a journey of self"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1054.83,"endTime":1058.19,"body":"empowerment and learning who"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1054.83,"endTime":1058.19,"body":"they really are, and what really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1058.19,"endTime":1062.96,"body":"makes them happy. And they might"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1058.19,"endTime":1062.96,"body":"spend years without anyone else"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1062.96,"endTime":1066.68,"body":"in their life intimately as they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1062.96,"endTime":1066.68,"body":"just focus on themselves. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1066.68,"endTime":1070.25,"body":"then they come out of that way"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1066.68,"endTime":1070.25,"body":"stronger, right, way stronger."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1070.25,"endTime":1074.84,"body":"For others. It's It's like our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1070.25,"endTime":1074.84,"body":"story, which is, We're the lucky"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1074.84,"endTime":1077.75,"body":"ones. I think we worked through"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1074.84,"endTime":1077.75,"body":"this together. And we there"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1077.75,"endTime":1080.66,"body":"wasn't separately, together, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1077.75,"endTime":1080.66,"body":"separately, and there's an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1080.66,"endTime":1083.27,"body":"element of luck there too. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1080.66,"endTime":1083.27,"body":"I've seen the stats, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1083.27,"endTime":1085.19,"body":"going to sit here and say that,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1083.27,"endTime":1085.19,"body":"like I just have all the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1085.19,"endTime":1088.49,"body":"answers. Shit. Maybe we just got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1085.19,"endTime":1088.49,"body":"lucky to a degree. I don't know."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1088.49,"endTime":1091.31,"body":"I'm just grateful for it. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1088.49,"endTime":1091.31,"body":"but that's another version of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1091.31,"endTime":1095.84,"body":"happily ever after. And then for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1091.31,"endTime":1095.84,"body":"some others, happily ever after."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1095.84,"endTime":1099.08,"body":"Looks like learning how to live"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1095.84,"endTime":1099.08,"body":"with someone inactive addiction"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1099.08,"endTime":1101.54,"body":"in the same home in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1099.08,"endTime":1101.54,"body":"marriage. Yeah. And finding"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1101.54,"endTime":1105.05,"body":"serenity in that storm. Right."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1101.54,"endTime":1105.05,"body":"So it's not so much clear what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1105.05,"endTime":1108.38,"body":"it what it looks like. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1105.05,"endTime":1108.38,"body":"think it's so individual it is."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1108.56,"endTime":1111.92,"body":"It is so too for counselors,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1108.56,"endTime":1111.92,"body":"therapists for groups to sit out"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1111.92,"endTime":1114.77,"body":"here and talk about it. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1111.92,"endTime":1114.77,"body":"more about like, what are you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1114.77,"endTime":1117.68,"body":"wants? I know, I think that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1114.77,"endTime":1117.68,"body":"everyone if you ask them that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1117.68,"endTime":1119.84,"body":"like, I just want my freakin"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1117.68,"endTime":1119.84,"body":"partner back."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1120.02,"endTime":1122.96,"body":"Or yeah, I want them to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1120.02,"endTime":1122.96,"body":"stop using your drinking. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1122.96,"endTime":1125.75,"body":"like we all know that that's not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1122.96,"endTime":1125.75,"body":"going to fix the problems."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1125.78,"endTime":1129.08,"body":"Yeah, it's so I think that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1125.78,"endTime":1129.08,"body":"it's not quite defined. And then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1129.08,"endTime":1132.08,"body":"sometimes it's also unrealistic."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1129.08,"endTime":1132.08,"body":"I think that the story that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1132.11,"endTime":1136.79,"body":"Hollywood might sell about me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1132.11,"endTime":1136.79,"body":"and you would be unrealistic,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1136.82,"endTime":1140.12,"body":"because I don't think that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1136.82,"endTime":1140.12,"body":"typical. Right? It's possible,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1140.12,"endTime":1144.62,"body":"but it's not typical. Right? So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1140.12,"endTime":1144.62,"body":"it's confusing to people. Right,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1144.62,"endTime":1146.21,"body":"right. Like you're almost"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1144.62,"endTime":1146.21,"body":"preparing yourself for the wrong"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1146.21,"endTime":1148.46,"body":"things. Yeah. When you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1146.21,"endTime":1148.46,"body":"working through this,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1148.49,"endTime":1150.77,"body":"can I tell you what"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1148.49,"endTime":1150.77,"body":"recovery looks like for me?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1150.8,"endTime":1154.94,"body":"Yeah, please. So for me, it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1150.8,"endTime":1154.94,"body":"meant to build my self esteem,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1154.94,"endTime":1158.75,"body":"become empowered and be okay"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1154.94,"endTime":1158.75,"body":"with or without you. At any"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1158.75,"endTime":1164.54,"body":"time, you know, like, I love you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1158.75,"endTime":1164.54,"body":"to death, but not to death. That"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1164.54,"endTime":1166.97,"body":"phrase like I love you so much,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1164.54,"endTime":1166.97,"body":"but there are boundaries, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1166.97,"endTime":1172.31,"body":"know, like now I love myself"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1166.97,"endTime":1172.31,"body":"enough to know what I that I've"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1172.4,"endTime":1175.85,"body":"valued. Like, I mean, know, your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1172.4,"endTime":1175.85,"body":"worth, I know my worth. 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That's a constant"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1182.63,"endTime":1185.18,"body":"in any action that could be the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1185.18,"endTime":1185.72,"body":"cost"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1186.05,"endTime":1190.28,"body":"in any of them is that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1186.05,"endTime":1190.28,"body":"you love yourself enough to know"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1190.28,"endTime":1194.72,"body":"your worth, and what your values"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1190.28,"endTime":1194.72,"body":"are and how you deserve to be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1194.72,"endTime":1198.65,"body":"treated and what makes you happy"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1194.72,"endTime":1198.65,"body":"and self care and, you know,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1198.65,"endTime":1201.86,"body":"there's so much that goes into"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1198.65,"endTime":1201.86,"body":"Do it. 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I know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1213.62,"endTime":1215.96,"body":"you hate these on the scale,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1215.96,"endTime":1220.91,"body":"it's okay. Okay, but we did an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1215.96,"endTime":1220.91,"body":"episode back in January, I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1220.91,"endTime":1223.64,"body":"where you gave us the account of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1220.91,"endTime":1223.64,"body":"your story from the, from the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1223.67,"endTime":1228.17,"body":"start to the finish right up to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1223.67,"endTime":1228.17,"body":"where we are today. For loving"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1228.17,"endTime":1230.9,"body":"the addict to loving myself."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1228.17,"endTime":1230.9,"body":"Yeah, it's our most downloaded"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1230.9,"endTime":1233.36,"body":"episode of All Time. By the way,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1230.9,"endTime":1233.36,"body":"it's great. If you haven't heard"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1233.36,"endTime":1236.12,"body":"it, go back and listen to that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1233.36,"endTime":1236.12,"body":"one for sure. Yeah, excellent,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1236.15,"endTime":1240.5,"body":"excellent. But some people find"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1236.15,"endTime":1240.5,"body":"recovery through 12 Step"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1240.5,"endTime":1243.68,"body":"programs, some do it through"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1240.5,"endTime":1243.68,"body":"smart recovery, some do it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1243.68,"endTime":1247.22,"body":"through their church groups and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1243.68,"endTime":1247.22,"body":"some others on their own"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1247.22,"endTime":1252.98,"body":"personal journeys, whatever that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1247.22,"endTime":1252.98,"body":"might look like. But how did you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1252.98,"endTime":1257.33,"body":"figure this out? 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That was what I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1290.75,"endTime":1294.05,"body":"would have found that without"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1294.05,"endTime":1296.33,"body":"you in your program."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1296.51,"endTime":1298.07,"body":"I wouldn't have found it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1296.51,"endTime":1298.07,"body":"without a guy in the program"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1298.07,"endTime":1299.78,"body":"either. Right? Right. And that's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1299.78,"endTime":1306.23,"body":"been amazing. And then"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1299.78,"endTime":1306.23,"body":"therapy for the therapy like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1306.23,"endTime":1308.39,"body":"that's been my oh therapy is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1306.23,"endTime":1308.39,"body":"amazing."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1308.81,"endTime":1310.82,"body":"A quick break in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1308.81,"endTime":1310.82,"body":"action to let you know about an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1310.82,"endTime":1313.61,"body":"exciting development in the Tufo"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1310.82,"endTime":1313.61,"body":"universe. When we started this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1313.61,"endTime":1316.37,"body":"thing, we said we would never"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1313.61,"endTime":1316.37,"body":"work with an advertiser or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1316.37,"endTime":1319.04,"body":"company unless it's something"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1316.37,"endTime":1319.04,"body":"that we believed in, and we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1319.04,"endTime":1319.91,"body":"already use."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1320.27,"endTime":1322.46,"body":"If you're looking for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1320.27,"endTime":1322.46,"body":"professional affordable mental"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1322.46,"endTime":1325.07,"body":"health care, look no further"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1322.46,"endTime":1325.07,"body":"than Taylor counseling group"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1325.07,"endTime":1327.8,"body":"your trusted source for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1325.07,"endTime":1327.8,"body":"accessible therapy in Texas."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1328.1,"endTime":1330.65,"body":"Taylor counseling group believes"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1328.1,"endTime":1330.65,"body":"that everyone deserves premium"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1330.65,"endTime":1333.53,"body":"mental health care regardless of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1330.65,"endTime":1333.53,"body":"their income level. That's why"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1333.53,"endTime":1336.05,"body":"they offer reliable and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1333.53,"endTime":1336.05,"body":"affordable services at 12"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1336.05,"endTime":1339.74,"body":"locations across Texas. They've"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1336.05,"endTime":1339.74,"body":"made affordability a priority."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1339.83,"endTime":1342.59,"body":"They are in network with most"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1339.83,"endTime":1342.59,"body":"major insurance and the standard"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1342.59,"endTime":1346.46,"body":"private rate is only $100 per"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1342.59,"endTime":1346.46,"body":"session significantly lower than"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1346.46,"endTime":1349.64,"body":"many other practices offering"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1346.46,"endTime":1349.64,"body":"the same high quality therapy."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1349.94,"endTime":1352.1,"body":"They believe that getting the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1349.94,"endTime":1352.1,"body":"help you need shouldn't drain"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1352.1,"endTime":1355.16,"body":"your wallet. scheduling an"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1352.1,"endTime":1355.16,"body":"appointment is quick and easy"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1355.16,"endTime":1358.07,"body":"with their convenient online"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1355.16,"endTime":1358.07,"body":"booking tool. No complicated"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1358.07,"endTime":1361.31,"body":"processes or long wait times,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1358.07,"endTime":1361.31,"body":"they value your time and ensure"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1361.31,"endTime":1364.37,"body":"that you can access the care you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1361.31,"endTime":1364.37,"body":"deserve without any hassle."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1364.58,"endTime":1366.83,"body":"It tailor counseling group"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1364.58,"endTime":1366.83,"body":"they believe in a personalized"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1366.83,"endTime":1368.84,"body":"approach to therapy."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1366.83,"endTime":1368.84,"body":"professionally trained"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1368.84,"endTime":1371.93,"body":"counselors offer a diverse range"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1368.84,"endTime":1371.93,"body":"of services including individual"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1371.93,"endTime":1375.56,"body":"counseling, couples counseling,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1371.93,"endTime":1375.56,"body":"family therapy, play therapy for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1375.56,"endTime":1378.47,"body":"children, and even specialized"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1375.56,"endTime":1378.47,"body":"techniques like cognitive"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1378.47,"endTime":1381.62,"body":"processing and existential"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1378.47,"endTime":1381.62,"body":"psychotherapy. They're here to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1381.62,"endTime":1384.05,"body":"help you navigate life's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1381.62,"endTime":1384.05,"body":"challenges, and develop a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1384.05,"endTime":1386.72,"body":"personalized treatment plan"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1384.05,"endTime":1386.72,"body":"tailored to your unique goals."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1387.35,"endTime":1389.9,"body":"Tailor counseling group is your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1387.35,"endTime":1389.9,"body":"partner on the path of mental"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1389.9,"endTime":1392.45,"body":"wellness experienced"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1389.9,"endTime":1392.45,"body":"professional affordable care"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1392.45,"endTime":1395.78,"body":"that puts you first visit their"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1392.45,"endTime":1395.78,"body":"website, tailor counseling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1395.78,"endTime":1398.93,"body":"group.com or call them today to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1395.78,"endTime":1398.93,"body":"schedule an appointment and tell"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1398.93,"endTime":1401.54,"body":"them to vote couple sends you a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1398.93,"endTime":1401.54,"body":"link and phone number is going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1401.54,"endTime":1404.09,"body":"to be available in the show"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1401.54,"endTime":1404.09,"body":"notes and back to the action."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1408.2,"endTime":1414.2,"body":"self help books and then"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1408.2,"endTime":1414.2,"body":"self care. So finding what"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1414.2,"endTime":1418.76,"body":"brings me joy and taking care of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1414.2,"endTime":1418.76,"body":"myself physically, you know,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1418.76,"endTime":1423.47,"body":"working out dancing, eating"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1418.76,"endTime":1423.47,"body":"whole foods, doing things that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1423.47,"endTime":1426.68,"body":"make me uncomfortable trying new"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1423.47,"endTime":1426.68,"body":"things like all of that as part"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1426.68,"endTime":1429.05,"body":"of my recovery, confidence"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1426.68,"endTime":1429.05,"body":"building that goes with that."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1429.08,"endTime":1431.69,"body":"Yes, a lot of confidence"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1429.08,"endTime":1431.69,"body":"building that goes with that. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1431.69,"endTime":1434.54,"body":"basically just building up my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1431.69,"endTime":1434.54,"body":"self esteem, and actually"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1434.54,"endTime":1438.23,"body":"putting a lot of things aside a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1434.54,"endTime":1438.23,"body":"lot of things on the backburner"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1438.47,"endTime":1441.05,"body":"and focusing on me like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1438.47,"endTime":1441.05,"body":"blinders,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1441.38,"endTime":1444.26,"body":"you sort of had to force"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1441.38,"endTime":1444.26,"body":"yourself to be selfish."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1444.53,"endTime":1446.72,"body":"I did it. I don't think"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1444.53,"endTime":1446.72,"body":"that's I don't think that's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1446.72,"endTime":1447.47,"body":"selfish."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1447.89,"endTime":1451.61,"body":"I hate how selfish is like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1447.89,"endTime":1451.61,"body":"a bad I don't think it is the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1451.61,"endTime":1452.27,"body":"best way"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1452.3,"endTime":1454.88,"body":"selfish means something"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1452.3,"endTime":1454.88,"body":"differently than what society"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1454.88,"endTime":1458.09,"body":"has weighed selfish to be. And I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1454.88,"endTime":1458.09,"body":"haven't done the research on it."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1458.09,"endTime":1461.45,"body":"But I did learn in therapy many"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1458.09,"endTime":1461.45,"body":"years ago, when I first started,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1461.69,"endTime":1464.27,"body":"she gave me a paper about the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1461.69,"endTime":1464.27,"body":"word selfish and it really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1464.27,"endTime":1468.44,"body":"opened my eyes to what it really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1464.27,"endTime":1468.44,"body":"means. And self care is not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1468.44,"endTime":1471.35,"body":"selfish, what we think in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1468.44,"endTime":1471.35,"body":"society, what selfish is is not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1471.35,"endTime":1471.89,"body":"what it is."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1474.23,"endTime":1476.78,"body":"For you, what you are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1474.23,"endTime":1476.78,"body":"doing is not selfish, because"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1476.78,"endTime":1480.2,"body":"all I try to do is help"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1476.78,"endTime":1480.2,"body":"you you will accept it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1482.18,"endTime":1486.8,"body":"Okay, something else is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1482.18,"endTime":1486.8,"body":"just on my mind. We talked about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1486.8,"endTime":1489.8,"body":"the disease concept of addiction"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1486.8,"endTime":1489.8,"body":"and when that was developed, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1489.8,"endTime":1493.97,"body":"how that really changed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1489.8,"endTime":1493.97,"body":"addiction treatment as a whole"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1494.24,"endTime":1497.15,"body":"because they started to look at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1494.24,"endTime":1497.15,"body":"it not as a moral failing but as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1497.15,"endTime":1500.18,"body":"something that people need a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1497.15,"endTime":1500.18,"body":"treatment for. So right Other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1500.18,"endTime":1502.64,"body":"than locking everyone up in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1500.18,"endTime":1502.64,"body":"prison who had a drug or an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1502.64,"endTime":1507.14,"body":"alcohol problem, they opened up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1502.64,"endTime":1507.14,"body":"treatment centers and they felt"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1507.14,"endTime":1510.47,"body":"different ways for them to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1507.14,"endTime":1510.47,"body":"recover, you know, the 12 steps"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1510.68,"endTime":1514.94,"body":"are still around. And still, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1510.68,"endTime":1514.94,"body":"mean, the most effective form of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1514.97,"endTime":1518.96,"body":"treatment for, I guess, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1514.97,"endTime":1518.96,"body":"know, addiction in general. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1519.02,"endTime":1522.86,"body":"in a is essentially the same"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1519.02,"endTime":1522.86,"body":"thing, Alcoholics Anonymous, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1523.1,"endTime":1526.43,"body":"it also birth other movements."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1523.1,"endTime":1526.43,"body":"So, refuge recovery is a newer"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1526.43,"endTime":1528.71,"body":"one that I just found out about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1526.43,"endTime":1528.71,"body":"that I think's awesome, smart"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1528.71,"endTime":1534.32,"body":"recovery. Life ring, there's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1528.71,"endTime":1534.32,"body":"several others. There's there's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1534.35,"endTime":1539.9,"body":"tons of different ways to work"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1534.35,"endTime":1539.9,"body":"it. Because science as a whole"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1539.9,"endTime":1542.66,"body":"started to look at this thing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1539.9,"endTime":1542.66,"body":"and figure how can we tackle"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1542.66,"endTime":1545.66,"body":"this? And so I'm a bit of a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1542.66,"endTime":1545.66,"body":"conspiracy theorist when it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1545.66,"endTime":1549.71,"body":"comes to medicine. I don't I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1545.66,"endTime":1549.71,"body":"don't, I don't get on conspiracy"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1549.71,"endTime":1552.11,"body":"theories about anything else."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1549.71,"endTime":1552.11,"body":"But I do believe in the power of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1552.11,"endTime":1555.89,"body":"business and lobbyists. Yeah. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1552.11,"endTime":1555.89,"body":"when I look at codependency,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1556.04,"endTime":1559.28,"body":"what are the symptoms of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1556.04,"endTime":1559.28,"body":"codependency? And why is this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1559.28,"endTime":1562.97,"body":"not looked at like a medical"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1559.28,"endTime":1562.97,"body":"issue that can be treated with a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1562.97,"endTime":1566.84,"body":"combination of therapeutics,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1562.97,"endTime":1566.84,"body":"maybe medicines, maybe some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1566.84,"endTime":1570.47,"body":"other things? Why have we not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1566.84,"endTime":1570.47,"body":"agreed on a course of treatment"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1570.47,"endTime":1573.89,"body":"for this, and I think that it's,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1570.47,"endTime":1573.89,"body":"it's complex in its nature, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1573.89,"endTime":1575.51,"body":"I understand that it's very"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1573.89,"endTime":1575.51,"body":"complex, and it's very"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1575.51,"endTime":1580.16,"body":"individual. But I can't help but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1575.51,"endTime":1580.16,"body":"think about the stats that we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1580.19,"endTime":1583.31,"body":"we've gone through before where,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1580.19,"endTime":1583.31,"body":"you know, one addict can affect"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1583.31,"endTime":1591.35,"body":"25 people, and the chances of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1583.31,"endTime":1591.35,"body":"children of an alcoholic or an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1591.35,"endTime":1594.29,"body":"addict becoming addicts or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1591.35,"endTime":1594.29,"body":"alcoholics themselves, or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1594.62,"endTime":1600.17,"body":"engaging in some kind of self"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1594.62,"endTime":1600.17,"body":"harm activity like, like cutting"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1600.2,"endTime":1604.82,"body":"or eating disorders, or things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1600.2,"endTime":1604.82,"body":"like that. It's much higher than"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1604.82,"endTime":1607.55,"body":"people who were in a control"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1604.82,"endTime":1607.55,"body":"group who didn't deal with this."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1607.91,"endTime":1612.05,"body":"So this thing has far reaching"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1607.91,"endTime":1612.05,"body":"effects. Why is no one looking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1612.05,"endTime":1616.28,"body":"at this and saying, We've got to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1612.05,"endTime":1616.28,"body":"help these people. Think What's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1616.28,"endTime":1618.98,"body":"your theory? I would love so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1616.28,"endTime":1618.98,"body":"another summer for it. So I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1618.98,"endTime":1623.06,"body":"would love to see documentation"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1618.98,"endTime":1623.06,"body":"and stats on rates of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1623.06,"endTime":1629.45,"body":"depression, obesity, self harm,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1623.06,"endTime":1629.45,"body":"suicide amongst partners and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1629.45,"endTime":1633.83,"body":"spouses of alcoholics and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1629.45,"endTime":1633.83,"body":"addicts, sometime after either"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1633.83,"endTime":1636.74,"body":"separating or being in that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1633.83,"endTime":1636.74,"body":"relationship when no one's in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1636.74,"endTime":1641.78,"body":"recovery, and I would guess they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1636.74,"endTime":1641.78,"body":"are higher than a control group."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1641.93,"endTime":1644.48,"body":"Yeah, like it's at people's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1641.93,"endTime":1644.48,"body":"interest to treat this stuff."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1644.48,"endTime":1648.5,"body":"But I don't know. Is it because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1644.48,"endTime":1648.5,"body":"they sell more pharmaceuticals"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1648.5,"endTime":1650.99,"body":"like anti depression meds to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1648.5,"endTime":1650.99,"body":"people who haven't dealt with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1650.99,"endTime":1653.57,"body":"it? Yeah. Is it because it keeps"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1650.99,"endTime":1653.57,"body":"people's pockets full? I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1653.57,"endTime":1656.27,"body":"know. But it makes no sense why"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1653.57,"endTime":1656.27,"body":"addiction has been looked at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1656.27,"endTime":1658.04,"body":"this way. But this hasn't."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1658.07,"endTime":1660.5,"body":"Yeah. Such a good point."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1661.159,"endTime":1663.859,"body":"Like it just it's crazy."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1661.159,"endTime":1663.859,"body":"Your environment can cause"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1663.859,"endTime":1666.379,"body":"issues like this. We've agreed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1663.859,"endTime":1666.379,"body":"on that. Everyone's agreed on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1666.379,"endTime":1670.519,"body":"that the environment can cause"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1666.379,"endTime":1670.519,"body":"issues. Yes. And that some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1670.519,"endTime":1672.709,"body":"people aren't just born with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1670.519,"endTime":1672.709,"body":"depression, they develop it over"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1672.709,"endTime":1676.489,"body":"time from trauma. Right. So why"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1672.709,"endTime":1676.489,"body":"aren't we looking at this? Why"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1676.489,"endTime":1679.429,"body":"is no one looking at this? I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1676.489,"endTime":1679.429,"body":"just I don't know. We're putting"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1679.429,"endTime":1683.059,"body":"it out there. Yeah, maybe? And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1679.429,"endTime":1683.059,"body":"like, I don't know, one of my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1683.059,"endTime":1687.379,"body":"dreams in life is to run a study"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1683.059,"endTime":1687.379,"body":"on this stuff. Yeah. And to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1687.379,"endTime":1690.169,"body":"insurance to start paying for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1687.379,"endTime":1690.169,"body":"this crap. Yeah. Pay for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1690.169,"endTime":1691.249,"body":"treatment. Well, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1691.4,"endTime":1693.23,"body":"get Yeah, cuz y'all get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1691.4,"endTime":1693.23,"body":"it paid for?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1693.26,"endTime":1694.97,"body":"Yeah, they pay for ours,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1693.26,"endTime":1694.97,"body":"but they look at the spouse and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1694.97,"endTime":1698.33,"body":"be like, no, sorry, you're fine."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1694.97,"endTime":1698.33,"body":"You You made a decision. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1698.33,"endTime":1701.15,"body":"what do you have a moral"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1698.33,"endTime":1701.15,"body":"failing? Just go back to the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1701.15,"endTime":1704.84,"body":"drawing board on that. So that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1701.15,"endTime":1704.84,"body":"what that same old Wild I would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1704.87,"endTime":1707.78,"body":"that is a mission of mine in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1704.87,"endTime":1707.78,"body":"life before I die. I would love"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1707.78,"endTime":1711.11,"body":"to be part of the group, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1707.78,"endTime":1711.11,"body":"cause that changes that. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1711.35,"endTime":1716.03,"body":"that would be huge, powerful. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1711.35,"endTime":1716.03,"body":"let's talk about when people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1716.03,"endTime":1718.91,"body":"talk about the moral failing of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1716.03,"endTime":1718.91,"body":"it all. And I think that we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1718.91,"endTime":1721.04,"body":"talked about, you know, why is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1718.91,"endTime":1721.04,"body":"this not discussed in Hollywood?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1721.04,"endTime":1723.17,"body":"Why are there no documentaries?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1721.04,"endTime":1723.17,"body":"We haven't talked about that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1723.17,"endTime":1726.26,"body":"yet. Oh, that was oh, that was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1723.17,"endTime":1726.26,"body":"before we cut. This is. This is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1726.26,"endTime":1726.95,"body":"part two."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1727.34,"endTime":1730.04,"body":"We did actually cut edit."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1727.34,"endTime":1730.04,"body":"Well, we did edit."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1730.07,"endTime":1732.05,"body":"I asked a question earlier"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1730.07,"endTime":1732.05,"body":"about five minutes ago, and she"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1732.05,"endTime":1733.79,"body":"just stared at me. Oh, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1732.05,"endTime":1733.79,"body":"didn't? You did?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1733.79,"endTime":1735.44,"body":"Because we were talking"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1733.79,"endTime":1735.44,"body":"about something that I was like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1735.44,"endTime":1738.35,"body":"wait, wait. Because that was a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1735.44,"endTime":1738.35,"body":"stupid thing."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1738.35,"endTime":1740.63,"body":"So when we were on the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1738.35,"endTime":1740.63,"body":"documentaries about built up you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1740.63,"endTime":1742.55,"body":"and whatnot, and you were"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1740.63,"endTime":1742.55,"body":"talking about Yeah, the whole"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1742.55,"endTime":1742.88,"body":"point"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1742.88,"endTime":1746.03,"body":"of this was that I wanted"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1742.88,"endTime":1746.03,"body":"to dive into some research on to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1746.03,"endTime":1749.57,"body":"why there aren't documentaries."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1746.03,"endTime":1749.57,"body":"Why are these families? Why are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1749.57,"endTime":1752.63,"body":"these not successful? Why are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1749.57,"endTime":1752.63,"body":"there really resources? You"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1752.63,"endTime":1755.6,"body":"know, this is what I came up"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1752.63,"endTime":1755.6,"body":"with? I actually asked some"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1755.6,"endTime":1759.89,"body":"people on social media to give"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1755.6,"endTime":1759.89,"body":"me their input on it. And then I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1759.89,"endTime":1763.43,"body":"did some research. So first,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1759.89,"endTime":1763.43,"body":"it's limited audience appeal. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1763.43,"endTime":1767.06,"body":"what does that mean? So I make a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1763.43,"endTime":1767.06,"body":"new talk because I want to talk."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1768.92,"endTime":1772.73,"body":"I want to talk like ever really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1768.92,"endTime":1772.73,"body":"what is this? This topic y'all"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1772.73,"endTime":1777.11,"body":"I'm so passionate about like it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1772.73,"endTime":1777.11,"body":"is a cat it puts a flav it'd be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1777.41,"endTime":1779.96,"body":"like I could talk all day but"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1777.41,"endTime":1779.96,"body":"like do this because"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1779.96,"endTime":1780.74,"body":"documentaries"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1780.74,"endTime":1784.55,"body":"attract a wide audience in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1780.74,"endTime":1784.55,"body":"general, or they are so niche"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1784.55,"endTime":1787.64,"body":"that they've got a following. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1784.55,"endTime":1787.64,"body":"it might be like a cult"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1787.64,"endTime":1790.34,"body":"following of some kind. Let's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1787.64,"endTime":1790.34,"body":"say you made a documentary about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1790.34,"endTime":1793.22,"body":"Dungeons and Dragons. People who"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1790.34,"endTime":1793.22,"body":"love Dungeons and Dragons would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1793.22,"endTime":1796.22,"body":"certainly watch that and they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1793.22,"endTime":1796.22,"body":"out there in numbers. Yeah. When"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1796.22,"endTime":1798.98,"body":"it comes to addiction. It's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1796.22,"endTime":1798.98,"body":"just addicts watching these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1798.98,"endTime":1801.89,"body":"things. I would guess that Less"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1798.98,"endTime":1801.89,"body":"addicts are watching him. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1801.89,"endTime":1804.68,"body":"more about people who love"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1801.89,"endTime":1804.68,"body":"stories of triumph over"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1804.68,"endTime":1807.71,"body":"adversity. Just like the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1804.68,"endTime":1807.71,"body":"documentary I watched on the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1807.71,"endTime":1810.56,"body":"people that ran the marathons. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1807.71,"endTime":1810.56,"body":"don't run at all I don't run"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1810.56,"endTime":1813.23,"body":"with I'm being chased by a bear."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1810.56,"endTime":1813.23,"body":"Yeah, but I watched because it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1813.23,"endTime":1816.53,"body":"was like this awesome story"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1813.23,"endTime":1816.53,"body":"about this thing. So when it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1816.53,"endTime":1821.12,"body":"comes to codependency limited"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1816.53,"endTime":1821.12,"body":"audience appeal in the sense"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1821.12,"endTime":1826.1,"body":"that since we don't know what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1821.12,"endTime":1826.1,"body":"happily ever happily ever after"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1826.1,"endTime":1829.61,"body":"looks like, what story do you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1826.1,"endTime":1829.61,"body":"tell? And how do you make that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1829.61,"endTime":1832.97,"body":"appealing? Does that make sense?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1829.61,"endTime":1832.97,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1833.0,"endTime":1836.09,"body":"So So can I do that? How"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1833.0,"endTime":1836.09,"body":"I described it in the other"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1836.09,"endTime":1840.8,"body":"episode. Thank you. Because"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1836.09,"endTime":1840.8,"body":"obviously, I was way off. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1841.43,"endTime":1843.8,"body":"I think that there are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1841.43,"endTime":1843.8,"body":"certain networks that do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1843.8,"endTime":1847.13,"body":"specialize and things like that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1843.8,"endTime":1847.13,"body":"And people will rag on like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1847.13,"endTime":1852.44,"body":"Hallmark channel and like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1847.13,"endTime":1852.44,"body":"lifetime a lot. But dude, great,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1852.47,"endTime":1855.5,"body":"I love it. lifetime love it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1852.47,"endTime":1855.5,"body":"Like they're great stories on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1855.5,"endTime":1858.29,"body":"there, man. I've sat down with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1855.5,"endTime":1858.29,"body":"you and like what's on TV? And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1858.29,"endTime":1860.6,"body":"like, what do you watch it? And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1858.29,"endTime":1860.6,"body":"you'd like some movie on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1860.6,"endTime":1861.41,"body":"Lifetime, whatever"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1861.41,"endTime":1863.18,"body":"daughters, David came"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1861.41,"endTime":1863.18,"body":"from a Lifetime movie,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1863.21,"endTime":1867.08,"body":"boom, there you go. We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1863.21,"endTime":1867.08,"body":"love the channel. But networks"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1867.08,"endTime":1869.63,"body":"like that. But you know, maybe"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1867.08,"endTime":1869.63,"body":"it ends up on something like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1869.63,"endTime":1873.5,"body":"that. But as far as a wider"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1869.63,"endTime":1873.5,"body":"audience, someone who has dealt"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1873.5,"endTime":1876.83,"body":"with this a celebrity someone of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1873.5,"endTime":1876.83,"body":"note has not come out and told"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1876.83,"endTime":1880.13,"body":"their story yet. They haven't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1876.83,"endTime":1880.13,"body":"come out and told their story"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1880.13,"endTime":1883.07,"body":"and made others interested"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1880.13,"endTime":1883.07,"body":"because here's the fact is that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1883.07,"endTime":1887.3,"body":"more people deal with this than"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1883.07,"endTime":1887.3,"body":"they deal with addiction. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1887.36,"endTime":1891.47,"body":"that's a fact. Yes, it is. If"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1887.36,"endTime":1891.47,"body":"one addict affects 25 people,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1891.89,"endTime":1895.97,"body":"there are 25 times the amount of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1891.89,"endTime":1895.97,"body":"people who deal with this than"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1895.97,"endTime":1898.7,"body":"deal with actual addiction in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1895.97,"endTime":1898.7,"body":"itself. Yeah, it's just not as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1898.7,"endTime":1900.98,"body":"sexy of a story because it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1898.7,"endTime":1900.98,"body":"hasn't been told yet in a way"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1900.98,"endTime":1904.07,"body":"that resonates with people. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1900.98,"endTime":1904.07,"body":"and I hope that we do that. Hell"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1904.07,"endTime":1907.58,"body":"yes, I hope that we do go."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1904.07,"endTime":1907.58,"body":"Another thing is stigma and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1907.58,"endTime":1909.83,"body":"privacy concerns. It's another"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1907.58,"endTime":1909.83,"body":"reason that it's just not out"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1909.83,"endTime":1912.47,"body":"there, we think and that we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1909.83,"endTime":1912.47,"body":"talked about the stigma related"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1912.47,"endTime":1914.66,"body":"to this and how it's sort of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1912.47,"endTime":1914.66,"body":"looked at as a moral failing."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1915.17,"endTime":1918.05,"body":"And I think that that is true."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1915.17,"endTime":1918.05,"body":"It's like addiction was once"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1918.11,"endTime":1920.54,"body":"accompanied with this major"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1918.11,"endTime":1920.54,"body":"social stigma. But that's sort"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1920.54,"endTime":1924.38,"body":"of been alleviated, like tattoos"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1920.54,"endTime":1924.38,"body":"used to be the same way. Now,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1924.83,"endTime":1927.74,"body":"everyone's got two tattoos, your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1924.83,"endTime":1927.74,"body":"doctor might have tattoos, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1927.74,"endTime":1930.47,"body":"guy that runs finance at your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1927.74,"endTime":1930.47,"body":"company probably has a sleeve of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1930.47,"endTime":1933.08,"body":"some kind. Yeah, yeah, it's just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1930.47,"endTime":1933.08,"body":"out there. It's becoming more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1933.08,"endTime":1936.5,"body":"and more accepted. This is a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1933.08,"endTime":1936.5,"body":"conversation people still aren't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1936.5,"endTime":1939.41,"body":"having. And it's one that some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1936.5,"endTime":1939.41,"body":"people are probably"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1939.41,"endTime":1941.87,"body":"uncomfortable having, because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1939.41,"endTime":1941.87,"body":"they would be the only one"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1941.87,"endTime":1944.99,"body":"saying it. Yeah, you know, so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1941.87,"endTime":1944.99,"body":"it's just not as many people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1944.99,"endTime":1948.17,"body":"willing to speak about it. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1944.99,"endTime":1948.17,"body":"then I think you should talk"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1948.17,"endTime":1949.79,"body":"about the next one, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1948.17,"endTime":1949.79,"body":"sensitivity."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1952.52,"endTime":1956.33,"body":"Oh, well, it would be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1952.52,"endTime":1956.33,"body":"really hard. Because it's,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1956.42,"endTime":1960.32,"body":"we're, it's deeply personal and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1956.42,"endTime":1960.32,"body":"emotional for us. And filming"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1960.32,"endTime":1963.38,"body":"these kinds of stories would be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1960.32,"endTime":1963.38,"body":"really challenging for people"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1963.38,"endTime":1969.23,"body":"to, you know, interview us"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1963.38,"endTime":1969.23,"body":"because you have to come in with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1969.26,"endTime":1973.76,"body":"respect and empathy and really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1969.26,"endTime":1973.76,"body":"talk to us in a manner that is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1973.76,"endTime":1977.36,"body":"it's so direct, because we're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1973.76,"endTime":1977.36,"body":"sensitive. We've been beat up,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1977.39,"endTime":1978.05,"body":"you know, like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1978.08,"endTime":1979.79,"body":"don't have some general"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1978.08,"endTime":1979.79,"body":"right, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1979.79,"endTime":1984.71,"body":"don't come at me with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1979.79,"endTime":1984.71,"body":"your blood. bluntness, you know,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1984.71,"endTime":1986.27,"body":"come at me with more compassion."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1984.71,"endTime":1986.27,"body":"You're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1986.27,"endTime":1988.46,"body":"asked why didn't just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1986.27,"endTime":1988.46,"body":"leave them? Right, right, right,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1988.46,"endTime":1990.5,"body":"dude. Right. I should just choke"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1988.46,"endTime":1990.5,"body":"you."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1990.68,"endTime":1993.5,"body":"Right? Yeah. Don't come"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1990.68,"endTime":1993.5,"body":"out. Don't we're scared to be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1993.5,"endTime":1997.13,"body":"judged. You know, we're judged"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1993.5,"endTime":1997.13,"body":"by everybody. So come come at"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1997.13,"endTime":2000.1,"body":"this with compassion. And it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1997.13,"endTime":2000.1,"body":"might be better. But a lot of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2000.13,"endTime":2001.66,"body":"filmmakers, we don't know how to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2000.13,"endTime":2001.66,"body":"do that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2001.96,"endTime":2004.03,"body":"Yeah. And then the other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2001.96,"endTime":2004.03,"body":"ones we came up with, were sort"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2004.03,"endTime":2008.05,"body":"of like a hodgepodge of like, a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2004.03,"endTime":2008.05,"body":"lack of access, because so many"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2008.05,"endTime":2011.62,"body":"people aren't talking about it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2008.05,"endTime":2011.62,"body":"Yeah. You know, think about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2011.62,"endTime":2014.92,"body":"going out on a, on a weekend"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2011.62,"endTime":2014.92,"body":"trip with the girlfriends,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2014.92,"endTime":2018.73,"body":"right? Maybe five or six of you,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2014.92,"endTime":2018.73,"body":"you know, maybe one of them. The"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2018.73,"endTime":2021.04,"body":"other ones you kind of know by"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2018.73,"endTime":2021.04,"body":"proxy because your kids or go to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2021.04,"endTime":2024.07,"body":"the same school, whatever. They"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2021.04,"endTime":2024.07,"body":"all sit down the talking about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2024.07,"endTime":2026.71,"body":"life and things like that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2024.07,"endTime":2026.71,"body":"They're probably not talking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2026.71,"endTime":2029.98,"body":"about this man. And you would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2026.71,"endTime":2029.98,"body":"feel like you were on an island"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2029.98,"endTime":2030.76,"body":"by yourself."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2031.15,"endTime":2033.73,"body":"Yeah, I definitely do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2031.15,"endTime":2033.73,"body":"bring it up there. I've had many"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2033.73,"endTime":2036.4,"body":"people who bring it up with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2033.73,"endTime":2036.4,"body":"their friends. And they don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2036.4,"endTime":2039.16,"body":"like to talk about it anymore."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2036.4,"endTime":2039.16,"body":"Because they don't understand"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2039.16,"endTime":2040.0,"body":"them at all."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2040.03,"endTime":2042.01,"body":"Yeah, it's just hard to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2040.03,"endTime":2042.01,"body":"relate if you have been there"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2042.01,"endTime":2044.65,"body":"before. Yeah. And then a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2042.01,"endTime":2044.65,"body":"misunderstanding or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2044.65,"endTime":2048.28,"body":"misrepresentation I think is,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2044.65,"endTime":2048.28,"body":"you know, kind of along the same"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2048.28,"endTime":2050.71,"body":"lines, that if you if you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2048.28,"endTime":2050.71,"body":"haven't been there, and you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2050.71,"endTime":2053.98,"body":"don't know what it's like, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2050.71,"endTime":2053.98,"body":"you're in it, it's difficult to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2053.98,"endTime":2056.38,"body":"articulate as well, to really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2053.98,"endTime":2056.38,"body":"explain what this is like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2056.41,"endTime":2060.49,"body":"right? It's like this forgotten"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2056.41,"endTime":2060.49,"body":"syndrome and this forgotten"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2060.49,"endTime":2064.69,"body":"partner, it's, it's tough to,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2060.49,"endTime":2064.69,"body":"to, I think, portray that in a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2064.69,"endTime":2068.44,"body":"way that that pays respect and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2064.69,"endTime":2068.44,"body":"homage to those that suffer with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2068.44,"endTime":2073.12,"body":"this and deal with this. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2068.44,"endTime":2073.12,"body":"know, the last thing I wanted to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2073.12,"endTime":2079.18,"body":"cover is this concept of loyalty"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2073.12,"endTime":2079.18,"body":"to a fault. And where that comes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2079.18,"endTime":2082.57,"body":"from. And we talked about love"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2079.18,"endTime":2082.57,"body":"being a primary driver of a lot"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2082.57,"endTime":2085.96,"body":"of this, right. But there are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2082.57,"endTime":2085.96,"body":"some people that I have spoken"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2085.96,"endTime":2089.47,"body":"with and that you've interacted"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2085.96,"endTime":2089.47,"body":"with as well, who will tell you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2089.5,"endTime":2093.73,"body":"in so many words that like they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2089.5,"endTime":2093.73,"body":"can't stand their spouse, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2093.73,"endTime":2096.4,"body":"they haven't wanted to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2093.73,"endTime":2096.4,"body":"married for a very long time."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2096.55,"endTime":2099.67,"body":"But they're together because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2096.55,"endTime":2099.67,"body":"they're loyal, right? They're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2099.67,"endTime":2104.62,"body":"just oil to a fault in some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2099.67,"endTime":2104.62,"body":"ways. And till the wheels fall"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2104.62,"endTime":2107.89,"body":"off is like our battle cry for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2104.62,"endTime":2107.89,"body":"it was our thing. This is our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2107.89,"endTime":2111.22,"body":"thing, right? That's the name of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2107.89,"endTime":2111.22,"body":"our story. Yeah. But I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2111.22,"endTime":2113.65,"body":"that you can apply that in so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2111.22,"endTime":2113.65,"body":"many different ways. Like I love"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2113.65,"endTime":2116.74,"body":"for people to apply that in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2113.65,"endTime":2116.74,"body":"in the realm of self development"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2116.74,"endTime":2120.19,"body":"and to say like I'm never giving"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2116.74,"endTime":2120.19,"body":"up on on, I'm never going to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2120.19,"endTime":2123.37,"body":"a finished product. I'm always"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2120.19,"endTime":2123.37,"body":"going to be a work in progress."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2123.52,"endTime":2126.82,"body":"I will keep working till the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2123.52,"endTime":2126.82,"body":"wheels fall off. Yep. But I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2126.82,"endTime":2129.55,"body":"think people will hear that and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2126.82,"endTime":2129.55,"body":"think that that's the only right"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2129.55,"endTime":2132.79,"body":"answer to things like this. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2129.55,"endTime":2132.79,"body":"it's like, I'm just not given up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2132.79,"endTime":2137.17,"body":"period right at the detriment of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2132.79,"endTime":2137.17,"body":"themselves and their children."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2137.56,"endTime":2140.35,"body":"And then they feel shame for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2137.56,"endTime":2140.35,"body":"that. You know, it's like God,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2140.35,"endTime":2143.11,"body":"man, like, I just want to give"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2140.35,"endTime":2143.11,"body":"you a hug. Like, there's no"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2143.11,"endTime":2145.93,"body":"shame in this game, right?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2143.11,"endTime":2145.93,"body":"There's no shame in that. I feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2145.93,"endTime":2149.29,"body":"shame for wanting to stick by"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2145.93,"endTime":2149.29,"body":"somebody. Yeah, it just comes to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2149.29,"endTime":2152.8,"body":"a point where you have to ask"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2149.29,"endTime":2152.8,"body":"yourself like, what am I costing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2152.8,"endTime":2157.42,"body":"myself? Exactly? What am I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2152.8,"endTime":2157.42,"body":"costing myself every time I go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2157.42,"endTime":2160.75,"body":"back, or I enable or I do this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2157.42,"endTime":2160.75,"body":"or that, you know? Yeah, that's,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2160.78,"endTime":2164.11,"body":"that's the most difficult part."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2160.78,"endTime":2164.11,"body":"Yeah. So what's the actual cost"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2164.11,"endTime":2167.65,"body":"of that, than the opportunity"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2164.11,"endTime":2167.65,"body":"cost of that? So what are you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2167.65,"endTime":2170.35,"body":"not able to do with your life"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2167.65,"endTime":2170.35,"body":"because you were doing the other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2170.35,"endTime":2174.19,"body":"thing instead, like the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2170.35,"endTime":2174.19,"body":"opportunity cost of codependency"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2174.19,"endTime":2177.52,"body":"is massive. And that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2174.19,"endTime":2177.52,"body":"eventually what gets people to a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2177.52,"endTime":2180.64,"body":"point where they either figure"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2177.52,"endTime":2180.64,"body":"out a way to work through"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2180.64,"endTime":2183.94,"body":"recovery with their partner, or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2180.64,"endTime":2183.94,"body":"they decide, You know what, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2183.94,"endTime":2186.97,"body":"can't do this for the rest of my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2183.94,"endTime":2186.97,"body":"life. Right? I just can't. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2187.0,"endTime":2189.01,"body":"like, I'm not gonna sit around"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2187.0,"endTime":2189.01,"body":"here. Watch you kill yourself. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2189.01,"endTime":2193.3,"body":"can't I love you. But I cannot"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2189.01,"endTime":2193.3,"body":"do powerful because I have a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2193.3,"endTime":2196.33,"body":"life to like, life is not a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2193.3,"endTime":2196.33,"body":"dress rehearsal. Like there's no"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2196.33,"endTime":2200.17,"body":"reset button can just start over"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2196.33,"endTime":2200.17,"body":"tomorrow. Like before you know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2200.17,"endTime":2203.35,"body":"it, you'll be, you know, in your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2200.17,"endTime":2203.35,"body":"60s or 70s. Wondering where the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2203.35,"endTime":2205.6,"body":"hell the time went. Yeah, that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2203.35,"endTime":2205.6,"body":"happens. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2205.69,"endTime":2206.59,"body":"I got a great scene."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2206.65,"endTime":2208.99,"body":"I got a great beard, man."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2206.65,"endTime":2208.99,"body":"Like I was tweeting yesterday."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2208.99,"endTime":2213.04,"body":"Yeah, it happens quick. Crap"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2208.99,"endTime":2213.04,"body":"goes by fast."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2213.7,"endTime":2217.96,"body":"So true. So anyway, did I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2213.7,"endTime":2217.96,"body":"talk about the vulnerable part"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2217.96,"endTime":2221.17,"body":"in this episode? I don't think"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2217.96,"endTime":2221.17,"body":"so. run us through it. Where I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2221.17,"endTime":2227.68,"body":"said that. You know, it's very,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2221.17,"endTime":2227.68,"body":"we're stigma to this. And we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2227.68,"endTime":2233.65,"body":"don't talk. Hold on, let me"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2227.68,"endTime":2233.65,"body":"think about this. We try to be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2233.65,"endTime":2234.91,"body":"vulnerable in our marriage."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2234.94,"endTime":2237.4,"body":"Oh, yeah. This was a good"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2234.94,"endTime":2237.4,"body":"one. Did I say this in here?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2237.46,"endTime":2239.35,"body":"Just go ahead. Run it."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2239.379,"endTime":2241.719,"body":"Okay. So we try to be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2239.379,"endTime":2241.719,"body":"vulnerable in our marriage, but"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2241.719,"endTime":2245.229,"body":"we get shit on by the addict,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2241.719,"endTime":2245.229,"body":"right? Like, we over and over"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2245.229,"endTime":2247.629,"body":"again, we try to be vulnerable."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2245.229,"endTime":2247.629,"body":"So why are we how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2247.63,"endTime":2250.24,"body":"you feel? And I will tell"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2247.63,"endTime":2250.24,"body":"you that stupid? Yes, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2250.24,"endTime":2253.03,"body":"shouldn't feel that way. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2250.24,"endTime":2253.03,"body":"Dom here's why it's wrong"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2253.06,"endTime":2256.27,"body":"or blame, you know,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2253.06,"endTime":2256.27,"body":"victim blame, all that so much"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2256.27,"endTime":2259.57,"body":"crap. So why would we want to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2256.27,"endTime":2259.57,"body":"expose ourselves? Or why would"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2259.57,"endTime":2262.09,"body":"we want to be vulnerable"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2259.57,"endTime":2262.09,"body":"somewhere else in other"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2262.09,"endTime":2267.55,"body":"territories? So we're so scared"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2262.09,"endTime":2267.55,"body":"of that backlash? I really don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2267.55,"endTime":2269.35,"body":"know if we discussed this or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2267.55,"endTime":2269.35,"body":"this. So I don't think I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2269.35,"endTime":2271.99,"body":"apologize if we doubled this."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2272.02,"endTime":2274.12,"body":"So here's what happened."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2272.02,"endTime":2274.12,"body":"We started recording this. We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2274.12,"endTime":2276.88,"body":"just said that. Well, I just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2274.12,"endTime":2276.88,"body":"want to make it super clear in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2276.88,"endTime":2278.56,"body":"case someone's listening on this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2276.88,"endTime":2278.56,"body":"idiots."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2279.46,"endTime":2282.76,"body":"We will recordings. Why"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2279.46,"endTime":2282.76,"body":"we don't do this. We have to get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2282.82,"endTime":2284.14,"body":"wood shot. Yeah, we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2284.14,"endTime":2286.3,"body":"don't really edit or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2284.14,"endTime":2286.3,"body":"anything. So we were talking."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2286.66,"endTime":2289.99,"body":"And then there was some stuff"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2286.66,"endTime":2289.99,"body":"there was we we make notes and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2289.99,"endTime":2292.6,"body":"we print out copies. And she"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2289.99,"endTime":2292.6,"body":"gave me the copy. And there was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2292.6,"endTime":2295.0,"body":"a huge section she's asked out"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2292.6,"endTime":2295.0,"body":"and didn't want to cover but we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2295.0,"endTime":2297.64,"body":"didn't discuss it first. So I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2295.0,"endTime":2297.64,"body":"started covering it. She just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2297.64,"endTime":2301.72,"body":"looks at me like I'm an idiot."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2297.64,"endTime":2301.72,"body":"I'm sorry. She's like, dude,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2302.319,"endTime":2304.299,"body":"turn it off. My mind"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2302.319,"endTime":2304.299,"body":"dammit."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2306.13,"endTime":2310.03,"body":"But anyway, what she had"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2306.13,"endTime":2310.03,"body":"this awesome. It's awesome take"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2310.03,"endTime":2313.75,"body":"on vulnerability and how you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2310.03,"endTime":2313.75,"body":"essentially trained throughout"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2313.75,"endTime":2317.38,"body":"the course of marriage in your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2313.75,"endTime":2317.38,"body":"relationship, that it's not okay"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2317.38,"endTime":2319.63,"body":"to be vulnerable. And in fact,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2317.38,"endTime":2319.63,"body":"you should just avoid that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2319.66,"endTime":2323.11,"body":"altogether. Yeah. So when it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2319.66,"endTime":2323.11,"body":"comes time for you to recover"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2323.14,"endTime":2326.17,"body":"and work through this stuff,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2323.14,"endTime":2326.17,"body":"it's really tough to be story"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2326.17,"endTime":2330.97,"body":"and I just want to shout out"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2326.17,"endTime":2330.97,"body":"every person that has messaged"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2330.97,"endTime":2334.99,"body":"us left a comment, who has"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2330.97,"endTime":2334.99,"body":"posted in the community and has"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2334.99,"endTime":2338.59,"body":"shared the deepest, darkest part"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2334.99,"endTime":2338.59,"body":"of your closet with us like that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2338.59,"endTime":2341.5,"body":"vulnerability. Man, that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2338.59,"endTime":2341.5,"body":"powerful."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2341.5,"endTime":2343.54,"body":"It is powerful. And it is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2341.5,"endTime":2343.54,"body":"healing for you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2343.84,"endTime":2346.99,"body":"It is it's beautiful. It"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2343.84,"endTime":2346.99,"body":"is appreciated. Others see it. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2346.99,"endTime":2347.35,"body":"know it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2347.35,"endTime":2351.04,"body":"sucks. But damn, it's,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2347.35,"endTime":2351.04,"body":"it's huge for you to get it out"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2351.04,"endTime":2351.37,"body":"there."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2351.49,"endTime":2353.56,"body":"Yeah, some people are just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2351.49,"endTime":2353.56,"body":"willing to stand up there and be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2353.56,"endTime":2356.83,"body":"like, Yeah, this is what I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2353.56,"endTime":2356.83,"body":"going through. And it's so hard"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2356.83,"endTime":2360.31,"body":"to do. And for those of you that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2356.83,"endTime":2360.31,"body":"aren't there yet, not criticize."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2361.12,"endTime":2364.78,"body":"Okay, totally. Okay, understand"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2361.12,"endTime":2364.78,"body":"why, why it's not comfortable to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2364.78,"endTime":2367.99,"body":"talk about, and I totally get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2364.78,"endTime":2367.99,"body":"it. Especially on social media,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2367.99,"endTime":2372.07,"body":"you know, it's like, you've got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2367.99,"endTime":2372.07,"body":"a picture of your family, like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2372.07,"endTime":2375.79,"body":"from the fall photo shoot, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2372.07,"endTime":2375.79,"body":"everyone's all happy. And then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2375.79,"endTime":2378.61,"body":"you're talking about, like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2375.79,"endTime":2378.61,"body":"what's really going on, which is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2378.61,"endTime":2381.07,"body":"kind of like this dichotomy of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2378.61,"endTime":2381.07,"body":"this life that we live. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2381.07,"endTime":2383.77,"body":"like this life that we want"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2381.07,"endTime":2383.77,"body":"everyone to see. And then we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2383.77,"endTime":2386.35,"body":"have the actual life behind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2383.77,"endTime":2386.35,"body":"closed doors, and it looks"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2386.35,"endTime":2389.26,"body":"nothing like the photos that we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2386.35,"endTime":2389.26,"body":"present. You know, I used to say"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2389.26,"endTime":2392.95,"body":"all the time when I was like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2389.26,"endTime":2392.95,"body":"newly sober that like, Oh, I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2392.95,"endTime":2395.95,"body":"around. Yeah, I made sure that I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2392.95,"endTime":2395.95,"body":"was in the Facebook photo. So it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2395.95,"endTime":2398.83,"body":"looked like I was a present"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2395.95,"endTime":2398.83,"body":"father and a present husband. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2398.83,"endTime":2401.47,"body":"would I'd be there and smile."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2398.83,"endTime":2401.47,"body":"And then I and then I was off to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2401.47,"endTime":2405.22,"body":"the races yep I can fake"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2401.47,"endTime":2405.22,"body":"anything in a photo yeah you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2405.22,"endTime":2408.28,"body":"know but what I see when I see"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2405.22,"endTime":2408.28,"body":"these photos primarily from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2408.28,"endTime":2412.6,"body":"women men as well but I see is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2408.28,"endTime":2412.6,"body":"like this is what is being"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2412.6,"endTime":2414.97,"body":"stolen from them and I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2412.6,"endTime":2414.97,"body":"they have every right in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2414.97,"endTime":2418.15,"body":"world to be destroyed and hurt"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2414.97,"endTime":2418.15,"body":"and hold space for them while"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2418.15,"endTime":2421.6,"body":"they're angry about this yeah"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2418.15,"endTime":2421.6,"body":"I'm resentful yes like this is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2421.63,"endTime":2425.32,"body":"it's okay to feel that way it is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2421.63,"endTime":2425.32,"body":"okay man it is thing has ripped"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2425.32,"endTime":2429.85,"body":"your family apart. Okay? Yes it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2425.32,"endTime":2429.85,"body":"is it love every one of you."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2429.97,"endTime":2434.17,"body":"But do not put all that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2429.97,"endTime":2434.17,"body":"hate it blame it to other people"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2434.17,"endTime":2438.16,"body":"either. Like we there's a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2434.17,"endTime":2438.16,"body":"process to this right. It is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2438.16,"endTime":2441.46,"body":"okay for you to feel this way."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2438.16,"endTime":2441.46,"body":"Give yourself space and time."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2441.7,"endTime":2443.95,"body":"It's such a process. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2441.7,"endTime":2443.95,"body":"think it's one that's measured."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2443.95,"endTime":2445.27,"body":"We can help Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2445.3,"endTime":2448.0,"body":"and but we can help guide"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2445.3,"endTime":2448.0,"body":"you through that. You know, he"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2448.0,"endTime":2449.59,"body":"league to get through it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2449.8,"endTime":2451.69,"body":"Yeah, we'll keep we'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2449.8,"endTime":2451.69,"body":"keep bringing our story. We'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2451.69,"endTime":2453.67,"body":"keep bringing the content. We'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2451.69,"endTime":2453.67,"body":"keep doing the research. We'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2453.67,"endTime":2455.71,"body":"keep putting stuff out there."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2453.67,"endTime":2455.71,"body":"And we are working on some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2455.71,"endTime":2458.71,"body":"really, really cool stuff behind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2455.71,"endTime":2458.71,"body":"the scenes that we hope to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2458.71,"endTime":2461.98,"body":"present to you guys this fall."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2458.71,"endTime":2461.98,"body":"Yeah. In an effort to help as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2461.98,"endTime":2466.15,"body":"many people as possible on a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2461.98,"endTime":2466.15,"body":"scale, so I can't wait. I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2466.15,"endTime":2468.91,"body":"sorry. She's yawning. I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2466.15,"endTime":2468.91,"body":"I'm loose. Did you take NyQuil"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2468.91,"endTime":2471.61,"body":"again? On the Nyquil."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2472.84,"endTime":2476.95,"body":"I've got it. I'll take it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2472.84,"endTime":2476.95,"body":"around night. 30. Close another"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2476.95,"endTime":2480.22,"body":"Nyquil. Oh my gosh. Okay. See,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2476.95,"endTime":2480.22,"body":"Matt used to be the guy who"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2480.22,"endTime":2483.76,"body":"chugged the DayQuil. And I'm the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2480.22,"endTime":2483.76,"body":"one who has the little measuring"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2483.76,"endTime":2487.78,"body":"cup, making sure it's perfectly"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2483.76,"endTime":2487.78,"body":"30 This weird, man. He's like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2487.78,"endTime":2488.83,"body":"go, go, go."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2489.76,"endTime":2491.71,"body":"I don't mess with that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2489.76,"endTime":2491.71,"body":"crap. Unless I have to. And to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2491.71,"endTime":2493.96,"body":"this day, I still won't drink"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2491.71,"endTime":2493.96,"body":"the stuff with the alcohol in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2493.96,"endTime":2494.14,"body":"it."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2494.44,"endTime":2496.48,"body":"I know. But that's just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2494.44,"endTime":2496.48,"body":"how it used to be those. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2496.48,"endTime":2496.84,"body":"yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2496.84,"endTime":2498.52,"body":"used to just take this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2496.84,"endTime":2498.52,"body":"stuff to the straight to the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2498.52,"endTime":2501.88,"body":"dome and take it down. Yeah, it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2498.52,"endTime":2501.88,"body":"tastes like crap. I'm gonna want"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2501.88,"endTime":2503.95,"body":"to enjoy it. But liquor did,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2501.88,"endTime":2503.95,"body":"too."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2504.67,"endTime":2509.29,"body":"I want you partners to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2504.67,"endTime":2509.29,"body":"have a voice. Y'all speak up"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2509.32,"endTime":2511.48,"body":"when you can or just know that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2509.32,"endTime":2511.48,"body":"you're not alone."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2511.72,"endTime":2515.68,"body":"Yeah, this this episode"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2511.72,"endTime":2515.68,"body":"was constructed by Paige, this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2515.68,"endTime":2518.23,"body":"is something that she's been on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2515.68,"endTime":2518.23,"body":"for she'd been on, you've been"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2518.23,"endTime":2521.59,"body":"on a tear with this for four or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2518.23,"endTime":2521.59,"body":"five days now feel like, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2521.59,"endTime":2525.25,"body":"just really, really in it. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2521.59,"endTime":2525.25,"body":"she really wanted everyone to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2525.25,"endTime":2530.5,"body":"have this message, this voice"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2525.25,"endTime":2530.5,"body":"out there that you matter, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2530.5,"endTime":2536.17,"body":"matter? Yep. All right, well,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2530.5,"endTime":2536.17,"body":"um, we've mentioned it before,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2536.17,"endTime":2539.23,"body":"but we haven't mentioned it for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2536.17,"endTime":2539.23,"body":"a bit now. But we are part of a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2539.23,"endTime":2542.71,"body":"foundation called the counseling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2539.23,"endTime":2542.71,"body":"for the Future Foundation. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2542.71,"endTime":2545.68,"body":"the counseling for the Future"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2542.71,"endTime":2545.68,"body":"Foundation is raising money to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2545.68,"endTime":2548.83,"body":"put therapists would be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2545.68,"endTime":2548.83,"body":"therapists through school debt"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2548.83,"endTime":2553.0,"body":"free. So many, many therapists"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2548.83,"endTime":2553.0,"body":"are out there, working their"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2553.0,"endTime":2556.57,"body":"butt off in school working two"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2553.0,"endTime":2556.57,"body":"jobs. And then they graduate"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2556.57,"endTime":2559.6,"body":"with a ton of student debt. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2556.57,"endTime":2559.6,"body":"then they go to be an associate"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2560.14,"endTime":2563.05,"body":"in their field, which they have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2560.14,"endTime":2563.05,"body":"to do is mandatory, and they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2563.05,"endTime":2565.66,"body":"unable to make ends meet. So a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2563.05,"endTime":2565.66,"body":"lot of them end up leaving the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2565.66,"endTime":2569.2,"body":"field because the student debt"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2565.66,"endTime":2569.2,"body":"just paralyzes their budget. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2569.2,"endTime":2572.29,"body":"the counseling for the Future"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2569.2,"endTime":2572.29,"body":"Foundation is working to change"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2572.29,"endTime":2575.5,"body":"that we have actually just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2572.29,"endTime":2575.5,"body":"graduated our very first"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2576.01,"endTime":2580.93,"body":"therapist debt free. That's so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2576.01,"endTime":2580.93,"body":"awesome. So we have a website"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2580.93,"endTime":2584.26,"body":"counseling futures.org, where"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2580.93,"endTime":2584.26,"body":"you can go and donate in any"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2584.26,"endTime":2587.44,"body":"amount is fine. If you have a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2584.26,"endTime":2587.44,"body":"penny to give a penny would be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2587.44,"endTime":2591.1,"body":"appreciated. Literally every"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2587.44,"endTime":2591.1,"body":"dollar that you donate goes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2591.13,"endTime":2594.28,"body":"straight to the scholarship. We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2591.13,"endTime":2594.28,"body":"don't have any administrative"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2594.28,"endTime":2597.79,"body":"fees. We are all volunteers. No"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2594.28,"endTime":2597.79,"body":"one on the board gets paid for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2597.79,"endTime":2601.03,"body":"anything. This is truly an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2597.79,"endTime":2601.03,"body":"altruistic movement to help"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2601.03,"endTime":2604.06,"body":"people get into the field so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2601.03,"endTime":2604.06,"body":"that whenever you need help,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2604.39,"endTime":2606.79,"body":"when you pick up the phone,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2604.39,"endTime":2606.79,"body":"there's a therapist there"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2606.82,"endTime":2609.25,"body":"because there just aren't enough"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2606.82,"endTime":2609.25,"body":"to meet demand. The stats are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2609.25,"endTime":2611.86,"body":"out there. You can read them."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2609.25,"endTime":2611.86,"body":"They're on the website. This is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2611.86,"endTime":2616.78,"body":"all factual. I'm not trying to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2611.86,"endTime":2616.78,"body":"skip you for a penny. This is us"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2616.78,"endTime":2619.48,"body":"trying to help people. So if you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2616.78,"endTime":2619.48,"body":"haven't checked out counseling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2619.48,"endTime":2622.12,"body":"for Future Foundation, please"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2619.48,"endTime":2622.12,"body":"head over the website and check"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2622.12,"endTime":2625.69,"body":"that out. It's also available on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2622.12,"endTime":2625.69,"body":"our website. Yeah. Okay. I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2625.69,"endTime":2629.17,"body":"that's all we've got for this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2625.69,"endTime":2629.17,"body":"time. Are we going to be back"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2629.17,"endTime":2629.77,"body":"Friday?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2630.73,"endTime":2634.09,"body":"I don't know. Are we?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2630.73,"endTime":2634.09,"body":"Maybe Oh, you're making me talk"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2634.09,"endTime":2634.54,"body":"again."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2636.82,"endTime":2639.07,"body":"If we get enough people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2636.82,"endTime":2639.07,"body":"saying they want to Friday"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2639.07,"endTime":2641.92,"body":"episode this week, we will dump"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2639.07,"endTime":2641.92,"body":"a Friday episode, let us know."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2642.34,"endTime":2645.61,"body":"Okay, thank you to everyone who"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2642.34,"endTime":2645.61,"body":"has interacted with us. If"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2645.61,"endTime":2648.13,"body":"you've just found us. Welcome."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2645.61,"endTime":2648.13,"body":"If you've been with us for a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2648.13,"endTime":2651.16,"body":"while. Thank you so much for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2648.13,"endTime":2651.16,"body":"your support, and we'll keep"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2651.16,"endTime":2655.36,"body":"bringing it. Until next time I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2651.16,"endTime":2655.36,"body":"am Matt. I will see you"}]}