{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":0.0,"endTime":1.95,"body":"My wife was telling me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":0.0,"endTime":1.95,"body":"things like you're a leader. I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1.95,"endTime":4.8,"body":"like the hell are you talking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1.95,"endTime":4.8,"body":"about a leader? Yeah, she's like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":4.8,"endTime":7.05,"body":"you're denying that credible,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":4.8,"endTime":7.05,"body":"like, I could see you speaking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":7.05,"endTime":9.99,"body":"to people one day like, you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":7.05,"endTime":9.99,"body":"inspirational. Like, I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":10.32,"endTime":12.99,"body":"what you're getting this stuff."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":10.32,"endTime":12.99,"body":"You saw me, I couldn't see"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":12.99,"endTime":15.99,"body":"myself because I didn't have a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":12.99,"endTime":15.99,"body":"good self esteem. Now, I didn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":16.02,"endTime":19.2,"body":"feel great about myself down. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":16.02,"endTime":19.2,"body":"don't believe any of that stuff."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":19.2,"endTime":21.93,"body":"But that's a gift if someone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":19.2,"endTime":21.93,"body":"believes in you, and that's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":21.93,"endTime":26.73,"body":"gift. And she deserves it. She"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":21.93,"endTime":26.73,"body":"deserves that person. 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But I want you to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":165.87,"endTime":168.96,"body":"know a couple things like I am"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":165.87,"endTime":168.96,"body":"not some bubbly Instagram want"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":168.96,"endTime":173.31,"body":"to be model bro. I'm not some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":168.96,"endTime":173.31,"body":"motivational preacher, speaker"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":173.31,"endTime":176.82,"body":"that, read a couple of books and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":173.31,"endTime":176.82,"body":"what's some classes and you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":176.82,"endTime":181.5,"body":"know, invested in the art of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":176.82,"endTime":181.5,"body":"like motivating people, I'm none"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":181.5,"endTime":184.14,"body":"of those things. I'm none of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":181.5,"endTime":184.14,"body":"those things. 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You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":263.52,"endTime":267.18,"body":"name it, like I had every fear"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":263.52,"endTime":267.18,"body":"wrapped up around it because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":267.18,"endTime":271.29,"body":"alcohol to me was the conduit to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":267.18,"endTime":271.29,"body":"good times. Right? Like it was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":271.29,"endTime":275.82,"body":"the, at the very least a good"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":271.29,"endTime":275.82,"body":"time had to include a buzz or I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":275.82,"endTime":279.72,"body":"wasn't having a good time. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":275.82,"endTime":279.72,"body":"also figured that I'd probably"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":279.72,"endTime":286.08,"body":"be bitter forever. Because they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":279.72,"endTime":286.08,"body":"can I can't that sucks. 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And I'm not gonna lie to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":321.18,"endTime":323.76,"body":"you, it wasn't like this right"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":323.76,"endTime":328.11,"body":"away. Those first 90 days were"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":323.76,"endTime":328.11,"body":"actually hell on earth. And that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":328.11,"endTime":331.05,"body":"first year was incredibly"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":328.11,"endTime":331.05,"body":"difficult. Yeah, it's really,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":331.05,"endTime":333.54,"body":"really, really tough. 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And I promise you, it'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":405.0,"endTime":407.76,"body":"be worth your time at the end."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":405.0,"endTime":407.76,"body":"If anything, it will have given"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":407.76,"endTime":412.35,"body":"you some perspective that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":407.76,"endTime":412.35,"body":"didn't have before. This last"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":412.35,"endTime":416.49,"body":"year, my wife and I have learned"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":412.35,"endTime":416.49,"body":"a lot about your partner. A ton."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":416.49,"endTime":420.72,"body":"Actually, we started our journey"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":416.49,"endTime":420.72,"body":"together. 22 years ago, we've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":420.72,"endTime":423.75,"body":"been together since we were 14"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":420.72,"endTime":423.75,"body":"years old. I think it's 22"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":423.75,"endTime":425.64,"body":"years, I always lose tracks 22"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":423.75,"endTime":425.64,"body":"or 23. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":425.64,"endTime":428.64,"body":"think it's 20. I think"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":425.64,"endTime":428.64,"body":"it's 22. I've said 23 before,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":428.64,"endTime":429.03,"body":"but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":429.45,"endTime":435.15,"body":"it's up there and I used I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":429.45,"endTime":435.15,"body":"was a big opiate guy that was my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":435.15,"endTime":439.74,"body":"big one, opiate pain pills, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":435.15,"endTime":439.74,"body":"alcohol. And then I did a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":439.74,"endTime":441.66,"body":"stuff on the side, too. I would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":439.74,"endTime":441.66,"body":"smoke weed, I would take"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":441.66,"endTime":444.93,"body":"Adderall. I would make sense and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":441.66,"endTime":444.93,"body":"benzos and some other things."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":444.93,"endTime":447.45,"body":"But for the most part, it was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":444.93,"endTime":447.45,"body":"those two, it was opiates and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":447.45,"endTime":450.75,"body":"alcohol for 10 years in our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":447.45,"endTime":450.75,"body":"relationship. And I hid this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":450.75,"endTime":453.66,"body":"from her. She didn't really know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":450.75,"endTime":453.66,"body":"what I was up to. I mean, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":453.66,"endTime":456.84,"body":"just suspected something's up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":453.66,"endTime":456.84,"body":"because this guy's a maniac."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":457.17,"endTime":461.04,"body":"He's unstable. He's all over the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":457.17,"endTime":461.04,"body":"place like intimacy. And I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":461.04,"endTime":463.38,"body":"just mean sexual intimacy. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":461.04,"endTime":463.38,"body":"mean, like closeness within the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":463.38,"endTime":468.12,"body":"relationship was gone. We were"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":463.38,"endTime":468.12,"body":"just roommates at one point. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":468.42,"endTime":472.32,"body":"life was, it was just not what I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":468.42,"endTime":472.32,"body":"remember looking in the mirror"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":472.32,"endTime":475.14,"body":"one day, I was like, This is not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":472.32,"endTime":475.14,"body":"what I intended. Yeah, I always"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":475.14,"endTime":476.94,"body":"thought that I would grow out of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":475.14,"endTime":476.94,"body":"it. I always thought there'd be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":476.94,"endTime":481.47,"body":"some event that occurred in my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":476.94,"endTime":481.47,"body":"life that got me sober. And all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":481.47,"endTime":484.2,"body":"those events came and went and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":481.47,"endTime":484.2,"body":"nothing ever changed. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":484.2,"endTime":486.57,"body":"graduating college didn't do it,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":484.2,"endTime":486.57,"body":"getting married, didn't do it,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":486.57,"endTime":489.63,"body":"having kids didn't do it. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":486.57,"endTime":489.63,"body":"know, starting new companies,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":489.63,"endTime":491.58,"body":"all this stuff like these big"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":489.63,"endTime":491.58,"body":"events that you would think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":491.58,"endTime":494.1,"body":"would be life changing. Like in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":491.58,"endTime":494.1,"body":"the moment, I'm a little excited"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":494.1,"endTime":497.19,"body":"about it. But then nothing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":494.1,"endTime":497.19,"body":"changes. I'm still the same guy,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":497.22,"endTime":500.25,"body":"I'm watching life pass me by."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":497.22,"endTime":500.25,"body":"And I had this moment suddenly,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":500.25,"endTime":502.86,"body":"where I was like, I can't be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":500.25,"endTime":502.86,"body":"doing this anymore, checks into"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":502.86,"endTime":505.68,"body":"a treatment center. And then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":502.86,"endTime":505.68,"body":"this last 10 years, I've been"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":506.04,"endTime":509.22,"body":"sober. And we have been working"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":506.04,"endTime":509.22,"body":"through a lot of the stuff that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":509.22,"endTime":514.44,"body":"we went through. There's so much"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":509.22,"endTime":514.44,"body":"trauma that takes place inside"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":514.44,"endTime":517.2,"body":"of a relationship when you're on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":514.44,"endTime":517.2,"body":"drugs and alcohol all the time"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":517.56,"endTime":520.95,"body":"that we don't realize. And so we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":517.56,"endTime":520.95,"body":"spent the last year talking with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":520.95,"endTime":524.64,"body":"your spouse's and having them"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":520.95,"endTime":524.64,"body":"share their experiences stuff"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":524.64,"endTime":527.37,"body":"that when I was in your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":524.64,"endTime":527.37,"body":"position, I didn't know what's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":527.37,"endTime":531.36,"body":"going on. I had no clue. I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":527.37,"endTime":531.36,"body":"just unaware, I was unaware that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":531.36,"endTime":535.5,"body":"I was causing damage to anybody."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":531.36,"endTime":535.5,"body":"But I want to I want you to know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":535.5,"endTime":539.97,"body":"something is that your partner"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":535.5,"endTime":539.97,"body":"loves you dearly. And you don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":539.97,"endTime":543.57,"body":"deserve it. Based on what I've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":539.97,"endTime":543.57,"body":"heard. And that's great. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":543.57,"endTime":546.27,"body":"that's a beautiful thing. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":543.57,"endTime":546.27,"body":"So it's not done, there's still"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":546.27,"endTime":549.99,"body":"a chance. I hope that someone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":546.27,"endTime":549.99,"body":"hears that and goes, Okay, so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":549.99,"endTime":552.78,"body":"what do I need to do? Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":549.99,"endTime":552.78,"body":"so that's where we can get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":552.78,"endTime":554.46,"body":"started. And I just wanna let"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":552.78,"endTime":554.46,"body":"you know that you've got someone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":554.46,"endTime":558.72,"body":"amazing that sent this to you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":554.46,"endTime":558.72,"body":"And I also know that all this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":558.72,"endTime":563.22,"body":"stuff that goes on behind the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":558.72,"endTime":563.22,"body":"scenes, takes a toll and you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":563.22,"endTime":567.27,"body":"good credit does have an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":563.22,"endTime":567.27,"body":"expiration date. It has an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":567.27,"endTime":572.64,"body":"expiration date. Yeah. So I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":567.27,"endTime":572.64,"body":"didn't make this up actually got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":572.64,"endTime":577.38,"body":"this from a doctor friend of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":572.64,"endTime":577.38,"body":"mine, a medical doctor. He he"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":577.38,"endTime":580.44,"body":"said he would spend years and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":577.38,"endTime":580.44,"body":"years and years with patients"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":580.44,"endTime":583.26,"body":"who had some kind of usually"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":580.44,"endTime":583.26,"body":"with heart troubles. I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":583.26,"endTime":587.64,"body":"that he did a lot of cardio type"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":583.26,"endTime":587.64,"body":"stuff, cardiovascular stuff. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":587.64,"endTime":589.53,"body":"he would tell them, he would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":587.64,"endTime":589.53,"body":"look at their blood work and be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":589.53,"endTime":591.72,"body":"like, Oh my God, this guy is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":589.53,"endTime":591.72,"body":"like a walking ball of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":591.72,"endTime":594.51,"body":"cholesterol, his blood pressures"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":591.72,"endTime":594.51,"body":"through the roof. He's 100"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":594.51,"endTime":596.34,"body":"pounds overweight and he would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":594.51,"endTime":596.34,"body":"tell them you need to lose"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":596.34,"endTime":599.7,"body":"weight, or else you're gonna die"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":596.34,"endTime":599.7,"body":"and people just kind of look at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":599.7,"endTime":603.63,"body":"you and You know, I know. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":599.7,"endTime":603.63,"body":"then they would come back in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":603.63,"endTime":606.21,"body":"ER, you know, with a heart"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":603.63,"endTime":606.21,"body":"attack six months later. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":606.21,"endTime":608.49,"body":"he's like, why don't they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":606.21,"endTime":608.49,"body":"listen? Like I told him this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":608.49,"endTime":611.52,"body":"would happen? Like, why aren't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":608.49,"endTime":611.52,"body":"they listening? So then he did"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":611.52,"endTime":613.5,"body":"something a little bit"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":611.52,"endTime":613.5,"body":"different. He appealed to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":613.5,"endTime":618.09,"body":"people's human side, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":613.5,"endTime":618.09,"body":"emotional side and started to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":618.09,"endTime":620.76,"body":"get better results out of his"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":618.09,"endTime":620.76,"body":"patients. I've done the same"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":620.76,"endTime":625.74,"body":"thing. And this is what I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":620.76,"endTime":625.74,"body":"going to do here. So 75% of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":625.74,"endTime":629.37,"body":"people with a substance abuse"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":625.74,"endTime":629.37,"body":"disorder are men. That's just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":629.4,"endTime":632.94,"body":"statistically speaking. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":629.4,"endTime":632.94,"body":"chances are most of the people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":632.94,"endTime":636.36,"body":"that were sent this are men. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":632.94,"endTime":636.36,"body":"this goes both ways. This goes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":636.36,"endTime":639.09,"body":"for women as well. There are a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":636.36,"endTime":639.09,"body":"lot of same sex partners that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":639.09,"endTime":642.51,"body":"deal with this. It's all over."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":639.09,"endTime":642.51,"body":"It's all over the place. Right?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":642.51,"endTime":645.9,"body":"So but I'm going to be speaking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":642.51,"endTime":645.9,"body":"to men, primarily, because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":645.9,"endTime":648.36,"body":"that's typically what I normally"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":645.9,"endTime":648.36,"body":"do when I work with people in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":648.36,"endTime":651.27,"body":"recovery is I'm working with men"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":648.36,"endTime":651.27,"body":"one on one. And that's your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":651.27,"endTime":653.88,"body":"experience, too. Yeah, this has"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":651.27,"endTime":653.88,"body":"been my experience. So I can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":653.88,"endTime":656.91,"body":"only speak to that. Right?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":653.88,"endTime":656.91,"body":"Right. So I'm going to appeal to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":656.91,"endTime":662.55,"body":"that. For men with daughters"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":656.91,"endTime":662.55,"body":"Listen up, I want you to know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":662.55,"endTime":664.95,"body":"that in the not too distant"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":662.55,"endTime":664.95,"body":"future, there's going to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":664.98,"endTime":670.02,"body":"another man walking your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":664.98,"endTime":670.02,"body":"daughter down the aisle, to give"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":670.02,"endTime":673.32,"body":"her away to her husband. And let"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":670.02,"endTime":673.32,"body":"that resonate for just a second,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":673.74,"endTime":677.49,"body":"there's going to be another man,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":673.74,"endTime":677.49,"body":"not you walking that beautiful"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":677.49,"endTime":680.82,"body":"girl down the aisle, he's going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":677.49,"endTime":680.82,"body":"to turn her over to her husband,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":680.97,"endTime":684.21,"body":"she's going to turn around and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":680.97,"endTime":684.21,"body":"give him a kiss, she's going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":684.21,"endTime":688.29,"body":"smile, and thank him, because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":684.21,"endTime":688.29,"body":"you won't be there. Either. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":688.29,"endTime":692.88,"body":"didn't make it out alive. Or you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":688.29,"endTime":692.88,"body":"burn the bridge so bad, that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":692.88,"endTime":695.73,"body":"you're not welcome at that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":692.88,"endTime":695.73,"body":"ceremony. I have seen this play"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":695.73,"endTime":699.78,"body":"out more times than I can count."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":695.73,"endTime":699.78,"body":"And I've got a little girl. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":699.78,"endTime":703.92,"body":"when she was born, I was never"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":699.78,"endTime":703.92,"body":"more grateful. Because I had the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":703.92,"endTime":708.27,"body":"opportunity to show her what a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":703.92,"endTime":708.27,"body":"man should be. I thought that my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":708.27,"endTime":712.14,"body":"daughter was going to get me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":708.27,"endTime":712.14,"body":"sober. I thought that when she"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":712.14,"endTime":715.77,"body":"was born, that was going to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":712.14,"endTime":715.77,"body":"the thing that rocketed me into"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":715.77,"endTime":718.47,"body":"the next dimension. And I will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":715.77,"endTime":718.47,"body":"start living the life that I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":718.47,"endTime":721.11,"body":"always intended. But when she"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":718.47,"endTime":721.11,"body":"was born, I don't need to tell"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":721.11,"endTime":724.17,"body":"you how stressful kids are."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":721.11,"endTime":724.17,"body":"Yeah, you're going to sleep less"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":724.17,"endTime":727.02,"body":"than ever. It's going to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":724.17,"endTime":727.02,"body":"incredibly mad around the house."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":727.02,"endTime":729.9,"body":"And you're probably going to use"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":727.02,"endTime":729.9,"body":"more, which is what I did. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":730.26,"endTime":732.87,"body":"our most difficult Yeah, it was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":730.26,"endTime":732.87,"body":"horrible. My use was all time"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":732.87,"endTime":736.89,"body":"bad. But when she was born, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":732.87,"endTime":736.89,"body":"remember looking at her. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":736.89,"endTime":739.71,"body":"there's a picture of this of me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":736.89,"endTime":739.71,"body":"staring at her and she's staring"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":739.71,"endTime":742.92,"body":"back at me, we both have the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":739.71,"endTime":742.92,"body":"same smile on our face. Like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":743.13,"endTime":747.42,"body":"and I'm just like, Man, this is,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":743.13,"endTime":747.42,"body":"this is an opportunity for me to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":747.42,"endTime":752.16,"body":"show to impact a life, to change"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":747.42,"endTime":752.16,"body":"a life to show her. She doesn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":752.16,"endTime":754.89,"body":"have to tolerate bs off of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":752.16,"endTime":754.89,"body":"anybody that she can do anything"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":754.89,"endTime":757.38,"body":"she wants in this world. Yep,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":754.89,"endTime":757.38,"body":"that was going to be my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":757.38,"endTime":761.55,"body":"opportunity as a father, that is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":757.38,"endTime":761.55,"body":"such an opportunity and a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":761.55,"endTime":766.11,"body":"responsibility that we carry. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":761.55,"endTime":766.11,"body":"if you've got a little girl that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":766.11,"endTime":768.81,"body":"should hit, you've got an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":766.11,"endTime":768.81,"body":"opportunity to model the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":768.81,"endTime":773.7,"body":"qualities that one day she will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":768.81,"endTime":773.7,"body":"look for in her partner. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":774.12,"endTime":777.24,"body":"So you get a chance to be soft"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":774.12,"endTime":777.24,"body":"when needed. And you get a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":777.24,"endTime":781.44,"body":"chance to be hard at other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":777.24,"endTime":781.44,"body":"times, and show her when each of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":781.44,"endTime":784.86,"body":"those is appropriate. You get to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":781.44,"endTime":784.86,"body":"validate her feelings and let"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":784.86,"endTime":788.43,"body":"her know that she's safe when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":784.86,"endTime":788.43,"body":"she's hurting. And you get to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":788.43,"endTime":792.06,"body":"show her how not to take shit"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":788.43,"endTime":792.06,"body":"off of anybody that doesn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":792.06,"endTime":794.52,"body":"think she can do things that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":792.06,"endTime":794.52,"body":"quote unquote women are supposed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":794.52,"endTime":798.72,"body":"to do. But I just I want guys to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":794.52,"endTime":798.72,"body":"realize that if you've got a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":798.72,"endTime":801.63,"body":"little girl around the house,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":798.72,"endTime":801.63,"body":"she's watching the way that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":801.63,"endTime":805.62,"body":"interact with her mother 100%."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":801.63,"endTime":805.62,"body":"She is watching that as the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":805.62,"endTime":808.47,"body":"example. And you're lying"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":805.62,"endTime":808.47,"body":"yourself if you think that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":808.47,"endTime":811.05,"body":"alcohol isn't affecting your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":808.47,"endTime":811.05,"body":"presence and the way that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":811.05,"endTime":814.14,"body":"show up. So maybe you can look"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":811.05,"endTime":814.14,"body":"at your use and say, well, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":814.14,"endTime":817.53,"body":"not that bad. I'm not always"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":814.14,"endTime":817.53,"body":"drunk. But are you your best?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":817.8,"endTime":823.2,"body":"Are you your absolute best at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":817.8,"endTime":823.2,"body":"all times? No, factually, no."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":823.41,"endTime":827.28,"body":"Objectively, no, you are not."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":823.41,"endTime":827.28,"body":"You're not your best. You're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":827.28,"endTime":830.16,"body":"just not. And I know how that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":827.28,"endTime":830.16,"body":"feels to hear that. Because I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":830.34,"endTime":833.01,"body":"pretty convinced I was great at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":830.34,"endTime":833.01,"body":"what I did when I was drinking."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":833.25,"endTime":835.53,"body":"But on the other side of it, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":833.25,"endTime":835.53,"body":"can tell you that I'm not my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":835.53,"endTime":839.34,"body":"best. Yeah. So it is a huge"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":835.53,"endTime":839.34,"body":"responsibility. Within the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":839.34,"endTime":842.61,"body":"relationship you have with your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":839.34,"endTime":842.61,"body":"partner. That's the example that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":842.64,"endTime":846.54,"body":"she will see your daughter will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":842.64,"endTime":846.54,"body":"see when she sees how you talk"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":846.54,"endTime":849.96,"body":"and how you fight. That's maybe"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":846.54,"endTime":849.96,"body":"the most important what are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":849.96,"endTime":854.01,"body":"fights like? You can we like my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":849.96,"endTime":854.01,"body":"wife and I we have some heated"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":854.07,"endTime":857.43,"body":"arguments at times. But the way"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":854.07,"endTime":857.43,"body":"that we handle it, we don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":857.43,"endTime":859.92,"body":"throw things we don't cuss at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":857.43,"endTime":859.92,"body":"each other. We don't call each"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":859.92,"endTime":862.92,"body":"other nasty names. We don't be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":859.92,"endTime":862.92,"body":"little each other. It doesn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":862.92,"endTime":866.22,"body":"get physical. We handle things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":862.92,"endTime":866.22,"body":"like adult and we make apologies"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":866.25,"endTime":869.91,"body":"and the kids see that stuff. We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":866.25,"endTime":869.91,"body":"model healthy behaviors. That's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":869.91,"endTime":873.09,"body":"the responsibility of being a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":869.91,"endTime":873.09,"body":"father. That's what being a man"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":873.09,"endTime":875.91,"body":"is about if you've got a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":873.09,"endTime":875.91,"body":"daughter in your house, and for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":875.91,"endTime":878.04,"body":"those of you with sons, let's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":875.91,"endTime":878.04,"body":"say that you've just got a house"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":878.04,"endTime":883.38,"body":"full of sons and God bless if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":878.04,"endTime":883.38,"body":"you do it's probably their"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":883.38,"endTime":888.6,"body":"little we had we had our son had"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":883.38,"endTime":888.6,"body":"a friend over last night and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":888.6,"endTime":891.06,"body":"like it's the most they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":888.6,"endTime":891.06,"body":"they're so disgusting. They're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":891.06,"endTime":894.69,"body":"so disgusting, gross, they will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":891.06,"endTime":894.69,"body":"fart on each other and just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":894.69,"endTime":895.89,"body":"think that is the funniest thing"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":895.92,"endTime":898.74,"body":"and they like to work and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":895.92,"endTime":898.74,"body":"stuff. There's just like torque"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":898.74,"endTime":899.1,"body":"around the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":899.55,"endTime":902.34,"body":"mess. when they're little,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":899.55,"endTime":902.34,"body":"they are such a mess, man. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":902.34,"endTime":904.47,"body":"they're, it's fun. They're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":902.34,"endTime":904.47,"body":"amazing. They're amazing by"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":904.47,"endTime":907.68,"body":"using every moment, I want you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":904.47,"endTime":907.68,"body":"to know that as men in general,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":908.88,"endTime":912.39,"body":"we are falling behind. This"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":908.88,"endTime":912.39,"body":"includes young boys. These are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":912.39,"endTime":917.46,"body":"just facts. In school, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":912.39,"endTime":917.46,"body":"professional world,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":917.55,"endTime":924.15,"body":"economically, socially, you name"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":917.55,"endTime":924.15,"body":"it. Being a man isn't just about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":924.15,"endTime":926.64,"body":"going to the factory with a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":924.15,"endTime":926.64,"body":"lunch pail anymore, and then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":926.64,"endTime":930.0,"body":"coming back home to crack a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":926.64,"endTime":930.0,"body":"beer. And your wife and her, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":930.0,"endTime":933.27,"body":"know, 1950s apron ask you how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":930.0,"endTime":933.27,"body":"your day was. That doesn't fly"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":933.27,"endTime":937.68,"body":"anymore that sailed long ago."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":933.27,"endTime":937.68,"body":"Here's the problem. We didn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":937.68,"endTime":944.16,"body":"get the memo. Yeah. So we've got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":937.68,"endTime":944.16,"body":"to be more well rounded. As men."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":944.64,"endTime":948.63,"body":"masculinity in the face of it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":944.64,"endTime":948.63,"body":"has changed, but many men have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":948.63,"endTime":953.37,"body":"not. We weren't told we had to."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":948.63,"endTime":953.37,"body":"All we've ever been told was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":953.37,"endTime":956.79,"body":"it's your job to go to work and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":953.37,"endTime":956.79,"body":"provide? Yeah, we were never it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":956.79,"endTime":959.04,"body":"was never really explained to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":956.79,"endTime":959.04,"body":"us. Hey, things have changed a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":959.04,"endTime":961.59,"body":"little bit. I don't know women"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":959.04,"endTime":961.59,"body":"are challenging y'all now. Well,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":961.59,"endTime":964.59,"body":"yeah. But as men, we're not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":961.59,"endTime":964.59,"body":"having these real conversations"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":964.59,"endTime":967.8,"body":"about what it is to be a man"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":964.59,"endTime":967.8,"body":"what it is to be masculine. We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":967.8,"endTime":972.6,"body":"think it's, you know, be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":967.8,"endTime":972.6,"body":"intimidating, be mean and go to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":972.6,"endTime":976.71,"body":"work. That's, I don't know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":972.6,"endTime":976.71,"body":"isn't that kind of sums up the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":976.74,"endTime":979.59,"body":"definition of like what a male"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":976.74,"endTime":979.59,"body":"has been? Yeah, like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":979.77,"endTime":984.33,"body":"aggressiveness, risk taking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":979.77,"endTime":984.33,"body":"behaviors and provide Yeah, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":984.33,"endTime":990.03,"body":"it's so much more than that. Be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":984.33,"endTime":990.03,"body":"well rounded, be able to lift"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":990.03,"endTime":994.23,"body":"weights, read books, know about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":990.03,"endTime":994.23,"body":"great poetry, have a killer"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":994.23,"endTime":998.64,"body":"instinct, did business, show up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":994.23,"endTime":998.64,"body":"authentically validate, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":998.67,"endTime":1002.0,"body":"empathize with the feelings of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":998.67,"endTime":1002.0,"body":"others, and be able to defend"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1002.0,"endTime":1005.87,"body":"yourself and your family with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1002.0,"endTime":1005.87,"body":"needed all at once? Yes, that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1005.87,"endTime":1008.57,"body":"encompasses what we're looking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1005.87,"endTime":1008.57,"body":"for today. This is this is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1008.57,"endTime":1011.99,"body":"what's required of men today. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1008.57,"endTime":1011.99,"body":"if no one told you, I'm telling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1011.99,"endTime":1014.72,"body":"you now, but if you're a one"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1011.99,"endTime":1014.72,"body":"dimensional male raising a one"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1014.72,"endTime":1017.81,"body":"dimensional male, then we're all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1014.72,"endTime":1017.81,"body":"in trouble. Yeah, the definition"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1017.81,"endTime":1021.98,"body":"of masculinity is changing. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1017.81,"endTime":1021.98,"body":"we have to keep up. And just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1021.98,"endTime":1024.44,"body":"like you are the role model to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1021.98,"endTime":1024.44,"body":"your daughter to what her future"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1024.44,"endTime":1029.18,"body":"husband will be your your son's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1024.44,"endTime":1029.18,"body":"role model. I'm sure that you've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1029.18,"endTime":1031.43,"body":"got a few highlight moments"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1029.18,"endTime":1031.43,"body":"where you're playing catch in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1031.43,"endTime":1034.43,"body":"the backyard like we all do. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1031.43,"endTime":1034.43,"body":"what about an average day or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1034.43,"endTime":1037.91,"body":"night? What about the fights"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1034.43,"endTime":1037.91,"body":"where you come home, and you've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1037.91,"endTime":1042.2,"body":"had one too many, and something"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1037.91,"endTime":1042.2,"body":"gets thrown or you scream, or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1042.2,"endTime":1045.74,"body":"you lose your mind? Or you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1042.2,"endTime":1045.74,"body":"short tempered? They remember"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1045.74,"endTime":1047.99,"body":"that stuff a lot more than they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1045.74,"endTime":1047.99,"body":"do playing catch with you out"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1047.99,"endTime":1050.51,"body":"back. Yeah, that's the stuff"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1047.99,"endTime":1050.51,"body":"they remember. They remember the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1050.51,"endTime":1054.23,"body":"lying, the cheating, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1050.51,"endTime":1054.23,"body":"dishonesty, all that stuff? They"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1054.23,"endTime":1058.52,"body":"will model that behavior. Little"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1054.23,"endTime":1058.52,"body":"kids are sponges. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1058.82,"endTime":1061.58,"body":"they are. That's how they"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1058.82,"endTime":1061.58,"body":"learn is by watching others."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1062.15,"endTime":1064.73,"body":"Yeah, I mean, it's just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1062.15,"endTime":1064.73,"body":"such a responsibility if you've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1064.73,"endTime":1068.36,"body":"got kids involved. And think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1064.73,"endTime":1068.36,"body":"about what Mama Bear is doing."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1068.36,"endTime":1070.97,"body":"When she's seen all this going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1068.36,"endTime":1070.97,"body":"on, she's got to protect her"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1070.97,"endTime":1073.76,"body":"cubs, amen, which generally"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1070.97,"endTime":1073.76,"body":"means getting away from guys"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1073.76,"endTime":1077.72,"body":"like me. And that's so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1073.76,"endTime":1077.72,"body":"unfortunate. They don't want to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1077.72,"endTime":1080.03,"body":"do that. But if you leave"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1077.72,"endTime":1080.03,"body":"someone with no choice,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1080.03,"endTime":1083.75,"body":"eventually they're gonna have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1080.03,"endTime":1083.75,"body":"do what they have to do. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1083.78,"endTime":1086.51,"body":"maybe you don't have kids, maybe"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1083.78,"endTime":1086.51,"body":"you're just starting your lives"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1086.51,"endTime":1091.22,"body":"together. I'm telling you, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1086.51,"endTime":1091.22,"body":"have an amazing person in your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1091.22,"endTime":1093.26,"body":"life, and you're letting a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1091.22,"endTime":1093.26,"body":"liquid get in between you and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1093.26,"endTime":1096.29,"body":"the greatest thing that could"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1093.26,"endTime":1096.29,"body":"ever happen to you. When you put"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1096.29,"endTime":1099.47,"body":"it in those terms. It is it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1096.29,"endTime":1099.47,"body":"just a liquid. It's a liquid in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1099.47,"endTime":1104.27,"body":"a bottle. Yeah. And somehow"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1099.47,"endTime":1104.27,"body":"that, that gets in the way of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1104.3,"endTime":1107.42,"body":"everything that we dream that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1104.3,"endTime":1107.42,"body":"gets in the way of the things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1107.42,"endTime":1109.64,"body":"that we wanted to do when we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1107.42,"endTime":1109.64,"body":"were little kids growing up at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1109.64,"endTime":1113.09,"body":"some point, a little liquid. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1109.64,"endTime":1113.09,"body":"it's just It's heavier than that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1113.09,"endTime":1115.94,"body":"man. And I know it's tough for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1113.09,"endTime":1115.94,"body":"spouses to, to hear that. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1115.94,"endTime":1119.12,"body":"like I'm here as an advocate for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1115.94,"endTime":1119.12,"body":"spouses and partners, but I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1119.12,"endTime":1121.64,"body":"also going to advocate what it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1119.12,"endTime":1121.64,"body":"like to be an alcoholic or an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1121.64,"endTime":1124.1,"body":"addict for a moment. Because it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1121.64,"endTime":1124.1,"body":"ain't easy. It ain't just the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1124.1,"endTime":1127.94,"body":"liquid. It's so much more than"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1124.1,"endTime":1127.94,"body":"that. At some point, I just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1127.94,"endTime":1130.97,"body":"didn't feel comfortable in my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1127.94,"endTime":1130.97,"body":"skin and and realized that if I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1130.97,"endTime":1134.45,"body":"drank alcohol, all the stress"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1130.97,"endTime":1134.45,"body":"would just melt away. If I took"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1134.45,"endTime":1138.38,"body":"a drug all the stress would just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1134.45,"endTime":1138.38,"body":"melt away. And I felt like a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1138.38,"endTime":1141.65,"body":"million bucks. I could handle"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1138.38,"endTime":1141.65,"body":"any problems. Stuff just kind of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1141.65,"endTime":1144.62,"body":"rolled off my shoulders, man, it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1141.65,"endTime":1144.62,"body":"was easy. And like those first,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1144.65,"endTime":1147.89,"body":"I don't know, dozen or so times."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1144.65,"endTime":1147.89,"body":"It worked. And I didn't have any"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1147.89,"endTime":1151.1,"body":"consequences. I was like, I'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1147.89,"endTime":1151.1,"body":"just do this from now on like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1151.1,"endTime":1152.9,"body":"this is simple. I see everyone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1151.1,"endTime":1152.9,"body":"else doing it. What's the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1152.9,"endTime":1156.68,"body":"problem? Because drinking become"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1152.9,"endTime":1156.68,"body":"it's become so acceptable. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1156.68,"endTime":1158.6,"body":"become so freakin acceptable"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1156.68,"endTime":1158.6,"body":"just to come home."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1158.63,"endTime":1160.7,"body":"Well, it's like, that's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1158.63,"endTime":1160.7,"body":"how people they've had a really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1160.7,"endTime":1164.21,"body":"stressful job. They come home"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1160.7,"endTime":1164.21,"body":"and that's what they do. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1164.33,"endTime":1165.83,"body":"it's just to decompress"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1165.86,"endTime":1169.4,"body":"man, and it gets hooks in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1165.86,"endTime":1169.4,"body":"you. And then it becomes a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1169.4,"endTime":1173.39,"body":"behavior and then it becomes an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1169.4,"endTime":1173.39,"body":"impulse and then it becomes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1173.39,"endTime":1176.84,"body":"compulsive or you can't even"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1173.39,"endTime":1176.84,"body":"control it anymore. Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1176.87,"endTime":1179.69,"body":"it's all bets are off. It's so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1176.87,"endTime":1179.69,"body":"much more than just a liquid."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1179.69,"endTime":1181.88,"body":"It's it's not just the liquid."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1179.69,"endTime":1181.88,"body":"It's what the liquid does to us"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1181.88,"endTime":1184.46,"body":"when we get it in our bodies."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1181.88,"endTime":1184.46,"body":"And for me, it was the only way"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1184.46,"endTime":1188.03,"body":"I felt safe. The thing I liked"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1184.46,"endTime":1188.03,"body":"most about drugs and alcohol. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1188.03,"endTime":1191.6,"body":"don't think I've ever said this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1188.03,"endTime":1191.6,"body":"out loud. Is that the the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1191.6,"endTime":1195.05,"body":"guarantee the guarantee of it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1191.6,"endTime":1195.05,"body":"all? I love that no matter what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1195.05,"endTime":1198.35,"body":"happened that day. Inside of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1195.05,"endTime":1198.35,"body":"that bottle was a guarantee that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1198.35,"endTime":1201.77,"body":"I would feel exactly how I want"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1198.35,"endTime":1201.77,"body":"To feel, yeah, I couldn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1201.77,"endTime":1205.37,"body":"control the world on an average"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1201.77,"endTime":1205.37,"body":"day, I couldn't control that,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1205.37,"endTime":1208.25,"body":"you know, some of my customers"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1205.37,"endTime":1208.25,"body":"were gonna say, Get out of here,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1208.25,"endTime":1210.89,"body":"I don't want anything to do with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1208.25,"endTime":1210.89,"body":"you anymore. Now I got tough"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1210.89,"endTime":1213.71,"body":"decisions to make, I couldn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1210.89,"endTime":1213.71,"body":"control. The fact that you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1213.71,"endTime":1216.11,"body":"someone got an accident and made"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1213.71,"endTime":1216.11,"body":"me an hour and a half late made"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1216.11,"endTime":1220.01,"body":"me look like an idiot like that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1216.11,"endTime":1220.01,"body":"stuff in each of those events,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1220.01,"endTime":1222.98,"body":"leaves feelings that I didn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1220.01,"endTime":1222.98,"body":"really know how to deal with the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1222.98,"endTime":1225.56,"body":"stress, the anxiety and all that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1222.98,"endTime":1225.56,"body":"stuff, man. But if I knew if I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1225.56,"endTime":1228.83,"body":"got drunk, I knew exactly how I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1225.56,"endTime":1228.83,"body":"feel. And it was exactly what I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1228.83,"endTime":1233.57,"body":"was after. just numb to it all."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1228.83,"endTime":1233.57,"body":"Nice and easy, easygoing, I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1233.57,"endTime":1238.37,"body":"happy now. I love the guarantee"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1233.57,"endTime":1238.37,"body":"of it all. It's just, I just, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1238.37,"endTime":1241.1,"body":"love that if there was a pill"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1238.37,"endTime":1241.1,"body":"they sold that would just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1241.1,"endTime":1244.31,"body":"guaranteed easy emotions, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1241.1,"endTime":1244.31,"body":"would have done that. But it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1244.31,"endTime":1249.23,"body":"just happened to be alcohol. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1244.31,"endTime":1249.23,"body":"anyway, um, if you're just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1249.23,"endTime":1252.41,"body":"starting your life together,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1249.23,"endTime":1252.41,"body":"that was kind of our story. So I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1252.41,"endTime":1257.0,"body":"started using before kids, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1252.41,"endTime":1257.0,"body":"then use for a short period of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1257.0,"endTime":1260.15,"body":"time with our daughter, she was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1257.0,"endTime":1260.15,"body":"nine months old when I finally"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1260.15,"endTime":1265.13,"body":"got sober. So I've had over 10"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1260.15,"endTime":1265.13,"body":"years now and in that time, my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1265.13,"endTime":1268.1,"body":"wife and I have become as close"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1265.13,"endTime":1268.1,"body":"as two people can possibly be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1268.1,"endTime":1274.01,"body":"like, she is my ride or die. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1268.1,"endTime":1274.01,"body":"she would do anything for me. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1274.01,"endTime":1277.85,"body":"mean, anything, but I almost"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1274.01,"endTime":1277.85,"body":"lost it all. I was taking on an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1277.85,"endTime":1281.72,"body":"average day, 20 pills per day,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1277.85,"endTime":1281.72,"body":"just to get by. And that's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1281.72,"endTime":1285.38,"body":"to, like have a great time and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1281.72,"endTime":1285.38,"body":"not often, you know, look high."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1285.56,"endTime":1289.13,"body":"That's just to get by so I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1285.56,"endTime":1289.13,"body":"didn't get sick. 60 pills on a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1289.13,"endTime":1295.04,"body":"bad day, drinking daily smoking."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1289.13,"endTime":1295.04,"body":"At one point, I think you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1295.04,"endTime":1298.91,"body":"thought that I was the man that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1295.04,"endTime":1298.91,"body":"you had always dreamed of. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1298.91,"endTime":1300.89,"body":"then something happened. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1298.91,"endTime":1300.89,"body":"suddenly now it's your worst"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1300.89,"endTime":1303.86,"body":"nightmare. Yeah, like I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1300.89,"endTime":1303.86,"body":"lying to you. I convinced you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1303.86,"endTime":1305.99,"body":"that you were crazy in arguments"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1303.86,"endTime":1305.99,"body":"and that you were the one with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1305.99,"endTime":1309.2,"body":"the problem. Yeah, I talked down"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1305.99,"endTime":1309.2,"body":"to you, I made you feel like you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1309.2,"endTime":1312.38,"body":"were two inches tall. And like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1309.2,"endTime":1312.38,"body":"for what? What was all that for?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1312.89,"endTime":1316.37,"body":"Two different. My fragile ego"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1312.89,"endTime":1316.37,"body":"was at stake. That's what it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1316.37,"endTime":1319.13,"body":"was, I couldn't possibly be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1316.37,"endTime":1319.13,"body":"wrong, I couldn't be the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1319.13,"endTime":1320.99,"body":"problem. Because that means I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1319.13,"endTime":1320.99,"body":"have to look at myself for a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1320.99,"endTime":1323.78,"body":"second. And I can't point out"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1320.99,"endTime":1323.78,"body":"your faults. I have to just look"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1323.78,"endTime":1327.89,"body":"at my own in it in a vacuum and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1323.78,"endTime":1327.89,"body":"say, what's going on with me?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1328.64,"endTime":1332.39,"body":"It's a scary thing to do. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1328.64,"endTime":1332.39,"body":"like I said, like, as men"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1332.39,"endTime":1335.06,"body":"generally, or anyone who's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1332.39,"endTime":1335.06,"body":"masculine, you don't. We're not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1335.06,"endTime":1338.42,"body":"taught how to do this stuff."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1335.06,"endTime":1338.42,"body":"Like I'm not saying it's an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1338.42,"endTime":1341.9,"body":"excuse. But consider the fact"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1338.42,"endTime":1341.9,"body":"that we've never really been"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1341.9,"endTime":1344.66,"body":"taught how to do this. Yeah, we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1341.9,"endTime":1344.66,"body":"were taught by a generation that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1344.72,"endTime":1347.48,"body":"literally told us to rub dirt on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1344.72,"endTime":1347.48,"body":"it. Get over it. Yeah, like from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1347.48,"endTime":1353.57,"body":"a very young age. I was smacked"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1347.48,"endTime":1353.57,"body":"for crying. Right. That's,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1353.87,"endTime":1356.93,"body":"that's how we dealt with stuff."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1353.87,"endTime":1356.93,"body":"You know, that's how we dealt"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1356.93,"endTime":1359.96,"body":"with stuff. You get hit harder."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1356.93,"endTime":1359.96,"body":"I'll give you something to cry"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1359.96,"endTime":1362.48,"body":"about. These are things we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1359.96,"endTime":1362.48,"body":"stayed a little boys. And that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1362.48,"endTime":1365.33,"body":"stuff. We grew up to be men."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1362.48,"endTime":1365.33,"body":"Some of that stuff has a place"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1365.33,"endTime":1368.12,"body":"don't get me wrong, like I'm not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1365.33,"endTime":1368.12,"body":"totally like, Oh, you poor baby."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1368.12,"endTime":1371.0,"body":"Like my son stuff just told the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1368.12,"endTime":1371.0,"body":"other night, came downstairs"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1371.0,"endTime":1374.24,"body":"limp and like carry struggle in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1371.0,"endTime":1374.24,"body":"the 1996 Olympics. Like his foot"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1374.24,"endTime":1377.42,"body":"was about to fall off. And I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1374.24,"endTime":1377.42,"body":"like, bro, you have to suck it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1377.42,"endTime":1380.18,"body":"up a little bit. I know that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1377.42,"endTime":1380.18,"body":"hurts. We don't need the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1380.18,"endTime":1384.86,"body":"theatrics. Right? He kind of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1380.18,"endTime":1384.86,"body":"looked at me. Like, what? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1384.86,"endTime":1388.4,"body":"get upstairs, you're fine."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1384.86,"endTime":1388.4,"body":"There's a balance. Here is what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1388.4,"endTime":1392.9,"body":"I mean. But this is how we were"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1388.4,"endTime":1392.9,"body":"treated all the time. All the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1392.9,"endTime":1398.09,"body":"time. Yeah, there was just Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1392.9,"endTime":1398.09,"body":"anything and one extreme or the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1398.09,"endTime":1403.67,"body":"other is not good. Yeah. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1398.09,"endTime":1403.67,"body":"anyway, um, my was defending my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1403.67,"endTime":1407.51,"body":"fragile ego. Anytime I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1403.67,"endTime":1407.51,"body":"acting like a fool. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1407.51,"endTime":1410.57,"body":"couldn't look my own actions in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1407.51,"endTime":1410.57,"body":"the face. I couldn't look myself"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1410.57,"endTime":1414.89,"body":"in the mirror for what I really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1410.57,"endTime":1414.89,"body":"was. I was everything I swore I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1414.89,"endTime":1417.98,"body":"would never be at one point. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1414.89,"endTime":1417.98,"body":"I realized that like in one of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1417.98,"endTime":1422.66,"body":"my lucid moments, I'm like, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1417.98,"endTime":1422.66,"body":"crap. And then I realized that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1422.81,"endTime":1425.48,"body":"you weren't trying to control my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1422.81,"endTime":1425.48,"body":"life, you were trying to save"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1425.48,"endTime":1429.8,"body":"it. I'm not saying that. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1425.48,"endTime":1429.8,"body":"didn't have things to work on."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1429.92,"endTime":1434.0,"body":"And like, that's the biggest"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1429.92,"endTime":1434.0,"body":"backlash I get from people who"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1434.0,"endTime":1436.34,"body":"are in addiction when their"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1434.0,"endTime":1436.34,"body":"spouses are telling them like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1436.34,"endTime":1440.18,"body":"you need to stop this. The first"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1436.34,"endTime":1440.18,"body":"thing they do is tell them,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1440.54,"endTime":1445.43,"body":"You're just as bad. You do this,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1440.54,"endTime":1445.43,"body":"you you yell, you're, you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1445.43,"endTime":1448.76,"body":"you're, you're unstable, you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1445.43,"endTime":1448.76,"body":"depressed. You've got your own"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1448.76,"endTime":1451.64,"body":"stuff. And sometimes they'll go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1448.76,"endTime":1451.64,"body":"as far as to say, You're the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1451.64,"endTime":1459.14,"body":"reason I do all this stuff. Man."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1451.64,"endTime":1459.14,"body":"Bullshit. Bull. Stop. No, that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1459.14,"endTime":1464.42,"body":"not true. And we both know that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1459.14,"endTime":1464.42,"body":"Yeah, you are not. You're not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1464.42,"endTime":1468.74,"body":"that flexible. You know what I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1464.42,"endTime":1468.74,"body":"mean? Like, you are not that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1468.86,"endTime":1473.15,"body":"moldable. Yeah, like, these are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1468.86,"endTime":1473.15,"body":"people I know. You're strong"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1473.15,"endTime":1476.69,"body":"people. We are strong people."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1473.15,"endTime":1476.69,"body":"And we go to the beat of our own"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1476.69,"endTime":1480.44,"body":"drum typically, like those are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1476.69,"endTime":1480.44,"body":"convenient excuses when you want"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1480.44,"endTime":1483.23,"body":"to get someone off your back."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1480.44,"endTime":1483.23,"body":"But that's not the truth. I know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1483.23,"endTime":1486.23,"body":"that you did have things to work"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1483.23,"endTime":1486.23,"body":"on. Yeah, but they paled in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1486.23,"endTime":1490.43,"body":"comparison to what I had to work"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1486.23,"endTime":1490.43,"body":"on. I mean, it was tiny. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1490.46,"endTime":1494.33,"body":"your stuff was tiny. And to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1490.46,"endTime":1494.33,"body":"honest, I cost a lot of the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1494.33,"endTime":1497.09,"body":"stuff that you that I have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1494.33,"endTime":1497.09,"body":"problems with, right? Like, oh,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1497.09,"endTime":1500.24,"body":"you're always depressed. Why do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1497.09,"endTime":1500.24,"body":"you think that is smart? Have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1501.44,"endTime":1502.55,"body":"you know could it be?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1502.58,"endTime":1505.16,"body":"Yeah, yeah, it was we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1502.58,"endTime":1505.16,"body":"were we had a very unstable"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1505.16,"endTime":1506.36,"body":"life. So yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1506.419,"endTime":1508.699,"body":"yeah. Like why are you so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1506.419,"endTime":1508.699,"body":"sensitive? You're always crying"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1508.699,"endTime":1511.609,"body":"it was Could it be because you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1508.699,"endTime":1511.609,"body":"snap and throw things and scream"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1511.609,"endTime":1512.269,"body":"at me a lot?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1512.3,"endTime":1514.85,"body":"Yeah. And tell me that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1512.3,"endTime":1514.85,"body":"I'm wrong all the time. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1514.85,"endTime":1515.63,"body":"And then I'm telling you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1515.63,"endTime":1518.3,"body":"that you need to fix that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1515.63,"endTime":1518.3,"body":"stuff. And I'm not moving until"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1518.3,"endTime":1521.03,"body":"you move. It doesn't work that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1518.3,"endTime":1521.03,"body":"way. In recovery, one of the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1521.03,"endTime":1523.22,"body":"most valuable things I've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1521.03,"endTime":1523.22,"body":"learned to do is just look at my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1523.22,"endTime":1525.74,"body":"side of the street, stop"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1523.22,"endTime":1525.74,"body":"worrying about my neighbor's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1525.74,"endTime":1528.65,"body":"grass, and what his house look"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1525.74,"endTime":1528.65,"body":"like and just worry about my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1528.65,"endTime":1532.52,"body":"such good advice, what's going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1528.65,"endTime":1532.52,"body":"on in my life that I can change"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1532.52,"endTime":1535.25,"body":"today. And what you'll come to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1532.52,"endTime":1535.25,"body":"see is that a lot of people you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1535.25,"endTime":1537.44,"body":"have problems with around you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1535.25,"endTime":1537.44,"body":"suddenly get better as soon as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1537.44,"endTime":1540.35,"body":"you do, which is a tongue in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1537.44,"endTime":1540.35,"body":"cheek way saying that we are the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1540.35,"endTime":1543.53,"body":"problem all along. Yeah. I hear"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1540.35,"endTime":1543.53,"body":"that all the time. It's like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1543.53,"endTime":1547.1,"body":"Dude, my wife is like, she's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1543.53,"endTime":1547.1,"body":"getting better. Like, my boss is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1547.1,"endTime":1549.74,"body":"nicer. Like, everything's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1547.1,"endTime":1549.74,"body":"better. I'm like, oh, that's one"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1551.03,"endTime":1552.05,"body":"common denominator."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1553.28,"endTime":1555.74,"body":"And that's something but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1553.28,"endTime":1555.74,"body":"it's true. Not saying that other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1555.74,"endTime":1560.84,"body":"people don't have stuff they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1555.74,"endTime":1560.84,"body":"need to work on but I'm just I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1560.84,"endTime":1564.41,"body":"tired of the poor me syndrome,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1560.84,"endTime":1564.41,"body":"the PMS. Yes. I don't know who"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1564.41,"endTime":1566.45,"body":"said it. But I love that I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1564.41,"endTime":1566.45,"body":"didn't say we're me syndrome."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1566.45,"endTime":1570.89,"body":"Poor me. Poor me. Like she's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1566.45,"endTime":1570.89,"body":"your partner's challenging you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1570.89,"endTime":1573.74,"body":"to be a better man because she"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1570.89,"endTime":1573.74,"body":"sees something in you that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1573.74,"endTime":1576.53,"body":"can't even see in yourself right"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1573.74,"endTime":1576.53,"body":"now. Think of her like a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1576.53,"endTime":1579.68,"body":"baseball Scout that's on some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1576.53,"endTime":1579.68,"body":"backfield in Iowa and sees the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1579.68,"endTime":1583.1,"body":"next great thing. And she's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1579.68,"endTime":1583.1,"body":"like, that one's got potential,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1583.1,"endTime":1588.08,"body":"I can see it in him. If he would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1583.1,"endTime":1588.08,"body":"just do XYZ, everything would be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1588.08,"endTime":1593.15,"body":"right. And she's right. You've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1588.08,"endTime":1593.15,"body":"got to know that. There's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1593.15,"endTime":1596.93,"body":"benefit in you listening to that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1593.15,"endTime":1596.93,"body":"message, believing that message"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1596.96,"endTime":1599.06,"body":"and doing the same thing,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1596.96,"endTime":1599.06,"body":"because that was my life for a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1599.06,"endTime":1601.88,"body":"long time. My wife was telling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1599.06,"endTime":1601.88,"body":"me things like you're a leader."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1601.88,"endTime":1604.82,"body":"I'm like, how you talk. I'm I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1601.88,"endTime":1604.82,"body":"not a leader. Yeah, she's like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1604.82,"endTime":1607.16,"body":"you're denying that credible,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1604.82,"endTime":1607.16,"body":"like, I can see you speaking to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1607.16,"endTime":1610.07,"body":"people one day, like, you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1607.16,"endTime":1610.07,"body":"inspirational. Like, I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1610.37,"endTime":1613.07,"body":"what you're getting the stuff"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1610.37,"endTime":1613.07,"body":"you saw in me, I couldn't see it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1613.07,"endTime":1616.01,"body":"myself, because I didn't have a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1613.07,"endTime":1616.01,"body":"good self esteem. Now, I didn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1616.04,"endTime":1620.51,"body":"feel great about myself. I would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1616.04,"endTime":1620.51,"body":"pretend I did. Like that whole,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1620.51,"endTime":1623.69,"body":"like narcissist persona we put"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1620.51,"endTime":1623.69,"body":"on but that wasn't real. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1623.69,"endTime":1627.44,"body":"all fake. It's fodder. That's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1623.69,"endTime":1627.44,"body":"just, that's for images and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1627.44,"endTime":1629.78,"body":"stuff, you know, but deep down,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1627.44,"endTime":1629.78,"body":"I didn't believe any of that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1629.78,"endTime":1632.54,"body":"stuff. But that's a gift if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1629.78,"endTime":1632.54,"body":"someone believes in you. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1632.54,"endTime":1637.07,"body":"that's a gift. And she deserves"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1632.54,"endTime":1637.07,"body":"it. She deserves that person."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1637.1,"endTime":1640.52,"body":"Your kids deserve that person."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1637.1,"endTime":1640.52,"body":"You deserve that person that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1640.52,"endTime":1646.4,"body":"right there. You deserve it. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1640.52,"endTime":1646.4,"body":"need to be that person to life"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1646.4,"endTime":1649.25,"body":"is so much better. And I just I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1646.4,"endTime":1649.25,"body":"want to get that out there. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1649.25,"endTime":1652.25,"body":"generally shy away from saying"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1649.25,"endTime":1652.25,"body":"direct things like this because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1653.03,"endTime":1655.58,"body":"I never want someone to stumble"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1653.03,"endTime":1655.58,"body":"across our content, like the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1655.61,"endTime":1660.86,"body":"their darkest moment and feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1655.61,"endTime":1660.86,"body":"like they're left out or that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1660.86,"endTime":1663.92,"body":"this message was too harsh, when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1660.86,"endTime":1663.92,"body":"they just needed someone to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1663.92,"endTime":1666.77,"body":"gentle. But it's like so be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1663.92,"endTime":1666.77,"body":"like, I have a little bit of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1666.77,"endTime":1668.84,"body":"edge in me. And this is just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1666.77,"endTime":1668.84,"body":"what I believe this is why I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1668.84,"endTime":1672.74,"body":"feel canceled me whatever it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1668.84,"endTime":1672.74,"body":"just this is these are the facts"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1672.74,"endTime":1672.95,"body":"right"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1672.95,"endTime":1675.02,"body":"authenticity, this is how"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1672.95,"endTime":1675.02,"body":"you roll. These are the facts."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1675.02,"endTime":1675.41,"body":"So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1676.7,"endTime":1679.07,"body":"I wanted to cover a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1676.7,"endTime":1679.07,"body":"handful of things. So when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1679.07,"endTime":1682.25,"body":"anytime I work with someone in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1679.07,"endTime":1682.25,"body":"sobriety, generally, here's how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1682.25,"endTime":1686.51,"body":"it rolls, I get a text or a DM"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1682.25,"endTime":1686.51,"body":"and it's like, Hey, I'm in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1686.51,"endTime":1688.7,"body":"crisis, I need to talk to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1686.51,"endTime":1688.7,"body":"somebody, do you have a moment?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1689.15,"endTime":1691.97,"body":"I'm like, Yeah, I got you. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1689.15,"endTime":1691.97,"body":"then it's sort of like the same"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1692.36,"endTime":1694.91,"body":"10 or 12 things that people will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1692.36,"endTime":1694.91,"body":"ask about. And so I've kind of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1694.94,"endTime":1698.69,"body":"gathered them. A lot of times, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1694.94,"endTime":1698.69,"body":"have to make a case for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1698.69,"endTime":1701.93,"body":"sobriety, which is kind of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1698.69,"endTime":1701.93,"body":"crazy. But think of it in, in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1701.93,"endTime":1706.04,"body":"business, we call this cost"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1701.93,"endTime":1706.04,"body":"benefit analysis. So let's say"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1706.04,"endTime":1708.26,"body":"that you wanted to buy a new"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1706.04,"endTime":1708.26,"body":"software and the new software"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1708.26,"endTime":1712.79,"body":"was $100,000. This new software"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1708.26,"endTime":1712.79,"body":"over the course of three years"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1712.97,"endTime":1715.4,"body":"would increase your productivity"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1712.97,"endTime":1715.4,"body":"and you would make an extra"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1715.73,"endTime":1720.47,"body":"$300,000 minus the cost of the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1715.73,"endTime":1720.47,"body":"software unit. 200 grand Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1720.5,"endTime":1723.68,"body":"it's a good decision. That's the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1720.5,"endTime":1723.68,"body":"cost benefit analysis, the cost"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1723.68,"endTime":1726.92,"body":"is worth the benefit. When it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1723.68,"endTime":1726.92,"body":"comes to alcohol. I have yet to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1726.92,"endTime":1730.73,"body":"see someone present to me a cost"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1726.92,"endTime":1730.73,"body":"benefit analysis that explains"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1730.73,"endTime":1734.3,"body":"why people stick to this. Wow,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1730.73,"endTime":1734.3,"body":"it doesn't make any sense."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1734.33,"endTime":1738.14,"body":"Right? So what does it actually"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1734.33,"endTime":1738.14,"body":"provide you like think about it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1738.14,"endTime":1741.59,"body":"for a moment? What is it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1738.14,"endTime":1741.59,"body":"actually providing you? And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1741.59,"endTime":1743.93,"body":"let's run a cost benefit"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1741.59,"endTime":1743.93,"body":"analysis on it for a moment."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1744.35,"endTime":1747.65,"body":"What's the cost? What's it going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1744.35,"endTime":1747.65,"body":"to cost? What what are you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1747.65,"endTime":1751.49,"body":"buying family problems?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1747.65,"endTime":1751.49,"body":"Sometimes you give up your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1751.49,"endTime":1758.51,"body":"freedom DWIs DUIs, domestic"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1751.49,"endTime":1758.51,"body":"disputes, where alcohol was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1758.51,"endTime":1761.48,"body":"involved, and suddenly you are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1758.51,"endTime":1761.48,"body":"on probation or you have lost"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1761.48,"endTime":1763.85,"body":"freedoms. Yeah, that is a real"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1761.48,"endTime":1763.85,"body":"cost that a lot of people deal"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1763.85,"endTime":1768.8,"body":"with jobs. How many times have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1763.85,"endTime":1768.8,"body":"you not come to work been fired?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1768.8,"endTime":1771.17,"body":"And you think it's your boss's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1768.8,"endTime":1771.17,"body":"fault? Alcohol was really at the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1771.17,"endTime":1774.47,"body":"bottom of it? Or where are you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1771.17,"endTime":1774.47,"body":"in your company right now?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1774.74,"endTime":1779.87,"body":"Compared to where you could be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1774.74,"endTime":1779.87,"body":"if you gave it 100%? Or What"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1779.87,"endTime":1782.63,"body":"business did you not start?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1779.87,"endTime":1782.63,"body":"Because you just can't get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1782.63,"endTime":1786.68,"body":"right. Yeah, think of that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1782.63,"endTime":1786.68,"body":"That's a cost. All the missing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1786.68,"endTime":1789.41,"body":"potential those things we talked"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1786.68,"endTime":1789.41,"body":"about the things the qualities"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1789.41,"endTime":1792.38,"body":"that people see in you that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1789.41,"endTime":1792.38,"body":"know, were deep down there"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1792.38,"endTime":1795.5,"body":"somewhere that you're just not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1792.38,"endTime":1795.5,"body":"getting NAFTA because it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1795.5,"endTime":1798.86,"body":"easier to get drunk today. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1795.5,"endTime":1798.86,"body":"that's a cost. How about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1798.86,"endTime":1801.98,"body":"hangovers mood I am grateful"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1798.86,"endTime":1801.98,"body":"that I have never had to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1801.98,"endTime":1806.45,"body":"experience a hangover my late"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1801.98,"endTime":1806.45,"body":"30s. But I hear they're awful."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1806.48,"endTime":1807.92,"body":"You know about that page? Yes."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1809.929,"endTime":1811.339,"body":"Once a year or deal,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1812.69,"endTime":1815.06,"body":"man, it didn't look fun."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1812.69,"endTime":1815.06,"body":"It was enough for me to be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1815.75,"endTime":1818.18,"body":"like, No, that's it's a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1815.75,"endTime":1818.18,"body":"reminder."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1818.21,"endTime":1821.93,"body":"That's a cost. That's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1818.21,"endTime":1821.93,"body":"cost. Arrested Development."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1822.23,"endTime":1823.37,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1823.4,"endTime":1827.0,"body":"So when you start using"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1823.4,"endTime":1827.0,"body":"heavily, you will stop"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1827.06,"endTime":1831.02,"body":"experiencing emotions from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1827.06,"endTime":1831.02,"body":"beginning to the end. For"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1831.02,"endTime":1834.71,"body":"instance, let's say that you are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1831.02,"endTime":1834.71,"body":"sad. Your favorite team lost. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1834.71,"endTime":1836.99,"body":"don't know, maybe it's bigger"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1834.71,"endTime":1836.99,"body":"than that. Maybe someone passed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1836.99,"endTime":1840.89,"body":"away and your family, you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1836.99,"endTime":1840.89,"body":"sad. Rather than dealing with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1840.89,"endTime":1845.24,"body":"the pain, the grief and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1840.89,"endTime":1845.24,"body":"processing the stuff you drink."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1845.6,"endTime":1848.03,"body":"And it goes away numbs you. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1845.6,"endTime":1848.03,"body":"wake up the next morning, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1848.03,"endTime":1850.79,"body":"you're still sad. Because you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1848.03,"endTime":1850.79,"body":"haven't dealt with it. What do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1850.79,"endTime":1854.27,"body":"you do you drink? You're just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1850.79,"endTime":1854.27,"body":"it's just like paying on a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1854.27,"endTime":1856.73,"body":"credit card. It's one day you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1854.27,"endTime":1856.73,"body":"got to pay that debt. Yeah, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1856.73,"endTime":1860.24,"body":"got to pay it off one day. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1856.73,"endTime":1860.24,"body":"when you don't, and you keep"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1860.27,"endTime":1863.72,"body":"putting it off, putting it off,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1860.27,"endTime":1863.72,"body":"get drunk putting it off, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1863.72,"endTime":1866.12,"body":"get what's called the rest of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1863.72,"endTime":1866.12,"body":"development. Your your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1866.15,"endTime":1869.42,"body":"development has been a rested,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1866.15,"endTime":1869.42,"body":"it has stopped it has seized"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1869.45,"endTime":1874.37,"body":"Yeah. When I got sober at 27. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1869.45,"endTime":1874.37,"body":"was the same dude. I was when I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1874.37,"endTime":1878.27,"body":"was like 17 Oh, yeah, mentally,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1874.37,"endTime":1878.27,"body":"you know, for sure I was. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1878.27,"endTime":1881.09,"body":"hadn't really gone through"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1878.27,"endTime":1881.09,"body":"anything in those 10 years, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1881.09,"endTime":1884.45,"body":"was just drinking. So I didn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1881.09,"endTime":1884.45,"body":"know how I didn't know how to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1884.45,"endTime":1887.36,"body":"adult. I didn't know how to deal"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1884.45,"endTime":1887.36,"body":"with anger or sadness, or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1887.36,"endTime":1891.38,"body":"depression, or any of these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1887.36,"endTime":1891.38,"body":"things. I had no clue. That's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1891.38,"endTime":1895.49,"body":"cost, divorced, another cost"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1891.38,"endTime":1895.49,"body":"loss of custody of your kids."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1895.64,"endTime":1899.48,"body":"Another cost, financial"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1895.64,"endTime":1899.48,"body":"consequences. All the great"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1899.48,"endTime":1902.09,"body":"decisions we make when we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1899.48,"endTime":1902.09,"body":"drinking are all the money that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1902.09,"endTime":1906.32,"body":"we spent on it. How many 10s of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1902.09,"endTime":1906.32,"body":"1000s of dollars have been spent"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1906.32,"endTime":1910.28,"body":"on booze? Yeah. So that you can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1906.32,"endTime":1910.28,"body":"just disappear. It's insane to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1910.28,"endTime":1914.12,"body":"think about, how about all the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1910.28,"endTime":1914.12,"body":"angst and drama that comes with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1914.12,"endTime":1917.12,"body":"it now. So why do people do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1914.12,"endTime":1917.12,"body":"this? Right, right, aside from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1917.12,"endTime":1919.85,"body":"the fact that it's an addictive"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1917.12,"endTime":1919.85,"body":"substance, and it does hijack"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1919.85,"endTime":1922.49,"body":"the mind. We're going to talk"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1919.85,"endTime":1922.49,"body":"about what's really behind it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1922.52,"endTime":1924.92,"body":"And this is my experience and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1922.52,"endTime":1924.92,"body":"the experience of people that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1924.92,"endTime":1928.97,"body":"I've worked with. It's just a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1924.92,"endTime":1928.97,"body":"cheat code to relax. That's what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1928.97,"endTime":1931.25,"body":"drugs and alcohol really are. At"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1928.97,"endTime":1931.25,"body":"the end of the day. They're a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1931.25,"endTime":1935.27,"body":"cheat code to relax. It's the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1931.25,"endTime":1935.27,"body":"fastest way to get from I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1935.27,"endTime":1940.16,"body":"uncomfortable to I'm good. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1935.27,"endTime":1940.16,"body":"it's boom, instant, right? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1940.19,"endTime":1943.85,"body":"it's so it's barely it's also a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1940.19,"endTime":1943.85,"body":"lazy solution for boredom. Yes."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1943.85,"endTime":1946.34,"body":"So it's a cure for boredom for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1943.85,"endTime":1946.34,"body":"many people. Yep. It's an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1946.34,"endTime":1951.74,"body":"instant cure for awkwardness."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1946.34,"endTime":1951.74,"body":"It's literally a crutch. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1951.74,"endTime":1954.26,"body":"it's not the fun thing it used"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1951.74,"endTime":1954.26,"body":"to be because that has long"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1954.26,"endTime":1957.35,"body":"since passed. But we just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1954.26,"endTime":1957.35,"body":"described some of the massive"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1957.35,"endTime":1961.22,"body":"costs versus the benefits. Now"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1957.35,"endTime":1961.22,"body":"most Okay, and here's here's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1961.22,"endTime":1965.66,"body":"another screwed up part. Is that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1961.22,"endTime":1965.66,"body":"the great obsession of every"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1965.66,"endTime":1968.81,"body":"abnormal drinkers to think that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1965.66,"endTime":1968.81,"body":"one day you can drink like other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1968.81,"endTime":1973.67,"body":"people? Yeah, it's to remember"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1968.81,"endTime":1973.67,"body":"and romanticize those handful of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1973.67,"endTime":1976.85,"body":"times that you got it just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1973.67,"endTime":1976.85,"body":"right. And like, man, remember"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1976.85,"endTime":1979.16,"body":"that time we had two glasses of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1976.85,"endTime":1979.16,"body":"wine, and we watched the sunset,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1979.16,"endTime":1983.21,"body":"and that was just perfect. At"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1979.16,"endTime":1983.21,"body":"some point, you crossed an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1983.21,"endTime":1986.06,"body":"invisible line, and there ain't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1983.21,"endTime":1986.06,"body":"no going back. Yeah, we're all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1986.06,"endTime":1990.17,"body":"born cucumbers. Drugs and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1986.06,"endTime":1990.17,"body":"alcohol. Turnus into Pickles."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1990.77,"endTime":1994.04,"body":"Pickles can't go back to being"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1990.77,"endTime":1994.04,"body":"cucumbers. Like if you think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1994.04,"endTime":1996.38,"body":"you're going to try to control"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1994.04,"endTime":1996.38,"body":"this deal. You're in for a long"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1996.38,"endTime":1999.77,"body":"ride. Yeah, I'm sure that people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1996.38,"endTime":1999.77,"body":"have learned and figured it out."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1999.77,"endTime":2002.47,"body":"I'm not gonna say no one has"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1999.77,"endTime":2002.47,"body":"I've yet to see anyone do it,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2002.47,"endTime":2005.53,"body":"though. But I've seen more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2002.47,"endTime":2005.53,"body":"people I can count try. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2005.56,"endTime":2009.01,"body":"And they end up right back."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2005.56,"endTime":2009.01,"body":"absolutely miserable to ask"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2009.01,"endTime":2011.17,"body":"kicked again. Go on what just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2009.01,"endTime":2011.17,"body":"happened? Man, everything's good"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2011.17,"endTime":2014.53,"body":"for a week. Now. It's not. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2011.17,"endTime":2014.53,"body":"it's yeah, we want to we want to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2014.53,"endTime":2017.23,"body":"romanticize those one or two"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2014.53,"endTime":2017.23,"body":"times and things which is great."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2017.23,"endTime":2020.98,"body":"It's like that's, that's what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2017.23,"endTime":2020.98,"body":"I'm after. That's gone. Man."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2021.01,"endTime":2023.65,"body":"That's gone. That ship sailed."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2021.01,"endTime":2023.65,"body":"It's long since past that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2023.65,"endTime":2027.49,"body":"Remember the costs? Look at the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2023.65,"endTime":2027.49,"body":"costs. So what are some of the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2027.49,"endTime":2030.76,"body":"benefits? Okay, we get rid of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2027.49,"endTime":2030.76,"body":"our crutch. How about just some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2030.76,"endTime":2034.87,"body":"of the health benefits? Your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2030.76,"endTime":2034.87,"body":"bloodwork? bloodwork looks good,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2034.87,"endTime":2036.31,"body":"all of a sudden, they're not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2034.87,"endTime":2036.31,"body":"saying hey, what's up with your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2036.31,"endTime":2039.76,"body":"liver, your filter is giving out"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2036.31,"endTime":2039.76,"body":"on you, dude, weight loss, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2039.76,"endTime":2044.59,"body":"sleep better? Stress levels"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2039.76,"endTime":2044.59,"body":"regulate. Normally, your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2044.59,"endTime":2049.21,"body":"emotions regulate, you actually"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2044.59,"endTime":2049.21,"body":"have increased in gray matter in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2049.21,"endTime":2053.44,"body":"your brain, you increase the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2049.21,"endTime":2053.44,"body":"amount of synapses and neural"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2053.44,"endTime":2057.34,"body":"connections in your mind when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2053.44,"endTime":2057.34,"body":"you remove alcohol. Yeah, like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2057.34,"endTime":2059.59,"body":"they say that addiction is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2057.34,"endTime":2059.59,"body":"disease because it changes the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2059.59,"endTime":2062.2,"body":"function of the brain, which is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2059.59,"endTime":2062.2,"body":"true up until a certain point,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2062.47,"endTime":2065.26,"body":"because people recovered, they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2062.47,"endTime":2065.26,"body":"can go back, they do brain scan"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2065.26,"endTime":2068.8,"body":"on you before you ever drink."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2065.26,"endTime":2068.8,"body":"measure how much gray matter you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2068.8,"endTime":2072.64,"body":"have in your brain. Then you use"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2068.8,"endTime":2072.64,"body":"for an extended period of time,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2072.67,"endTime":2076.3,"body":"years and years of addiction."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2072.67,"endTime":2076.3,"body":"Yeah, you will those areas"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2076.3,"endTime":2079.48,"body":"become inactive. They are dead."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2076.3,"endTime":2079.48,"body":"They're gone. So we look at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2079.48,"endTime":2081.79,"body":"that. And we say all right,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2079.48,"endTime":2081.79,"body":"well, what's the point? I'm just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2081.79,"endTime":2084.07,"body":"screwed, and you can damage it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2081.79,"endTime":2084.07,"body":"to the point where you can't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2084.67,"endTime":2087.76,"body":"regenerate but the brain is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2084.67,"endTime":2087.76,"body":"amazing. Yeah, they've done"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2087.76,"endTime":2090.31,"body":"studies on people who have been"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2087.76,"endTime":2090.31,"body":"sober for over a year and found"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2090.31,"endTime":2094.24,"body":"that the amount of gray matter"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2090.31,"endTime":2094.24,"body":"in their brain has increased"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2094.24,"endTime":2098.56,"body":"beyond even levels before they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2094.24,"endTime":2098.56,"body":"started. Sometimes in cases,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2099.79,"endTime":2103.96,"body":"too. Here's the percentages"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2099.79,"endTime":2103.96,"body":"points like 10 1215 20%. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2103.96,"endTime":2107.98,"body":"more, it's insane. Yeah, you can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2103.96,"endTime":2107.98,"body":"teach yourself how to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2107.98,"endTime":2111.91,"body":"through this. It's possible."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2107.98,"endTime":2111.91,"body":"It's possible. And then when you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2111.91,"endTime":2114.25,"body":"do that, all kinds of great"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2111.91,"endTime":2114.25,"body":"things happen. Your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2114.25,"endTime":2116.29,"body":"relationships improve,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2114.25,"endTime":2116.29,"body":"therefore, your stress is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2116.29,"endTime":2120.76,"body":"relieved even more. Your skin"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2116.29,"endTime":2120.76,"body":"gets better. It's just it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2120.76,"endTime":2123.34,"body":"amazing. Yeah, it's absolutely"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2120.76,"endTime":2123.34,"body":"amazing. Its benefits. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2123.37,"endTime":2125.92,"body":"like the the health benefits and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2123.37,"endTime":2125.92,"body":"then the relationship benefits."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2125.92,"endTime":2129.88,"body":"Oh, my God, like, go back and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2125.92,"endTime":2129.88,"body":"listen to our episodes. There's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2129.88,"endTime":2132.43,"body":"plenty I'm like, we're by no"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2129.88,"endTime":2132.43,"body":"means like a model for like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2132.43,"endTime":2135.1,"body":"hey, just be like us. But I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2132.43,"endTime":2135.1,"body":"think we've got a pretty healthy"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2135.1,"endTime":2138.01,"body":"freakin marriage. Yeah, healthy"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2135.1,"endTime":2138.01,"body":"relationships. In general, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2138.01,"endTime":2142.39,"body":"have intimacy in all of my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2138.01,"endTime":2142.39,"body":"relationships, close people. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2142.39,"endTime":2144.85,"body":"don't have a lot of just little"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2142.39,"endTime":2144.85,"body":"acquaintances because I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2144.85,"endTime":2147.85,"body":"have small talk stuff anymore."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2144.85,"endTime":2147.85,"body":"Like I'm, I want to know what's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2147.85,"endTime":2149.68,"body":"going on with people. I want to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2147.85,"endTime":2149.68,"body":"learn from them. I want to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2149.68,"endTime":2152.56,"body":"figure out how you fixed your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2149.68,"endTime":2152.56,"body":"problems, and see how I can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2152.56,"endTime":2156.34,"body":"apply that to my life. I want to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2152.56,"endTime":2156.34,"body":"know what's going on with you. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2156.34,"endTime":2161.59,"body":"want to peel back the onion. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2156.34,"endTime":2161.59,"body":"know? I'll come back to that the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2161.59,"endTime":2166.18,"body":"onion thing. It's just, you'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2161.59,"endTime":2166.18,"body":"see, it'll run feels full circle"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2166.18,"endTime":2169.3,"body":"here. Okay. Like, what does it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2166.18,"endTime":2169.3,"body":"really entail? Right? Because I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2169.3,"endTime":2171.04,"body":"think a lot of people think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2169.3,"endTime":2171.04,"body":"about sobriety, they're like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2171.04,"endTime":2174.46,"body":"man, what's the point? Like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2171.04,"endTime":2174.46,"body":"that sounds lame. You don't want"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2174.46,"endTime":2177.52,"body":"to do that. Let's throw aside"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2174.46,"endTime":2177.52,"body":"everything you think you know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2177.52,"endTime":2179.98,"body":"about it and just talk about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2177.52,"endTime":2179.98,"body":"some of the things that occur."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2180.4,"endTime":2185.17,"body":"When we are covered? Once we've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2180.4,"endTime":2185.17,"body":"gotten better. Okay. You're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2185.17,"endTime":2192.7,"body":"going to act your age to degree"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2185.17,"endTime":2192.7,"body":"I will always be I don't know, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2192.7,"endTime":2194.83,"body":"think I do this more. It's just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2192.7,"endTime":2194.83,"body":"a personality thing. Like I've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2194.83,"endTime":2197.44,"body":"always kind of just like, middle"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2194.83,"endTime":2197.44,"body":"fingers to the establishment."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2197.47,"endTime":2200.38,"body":"Oh, yeah, that's just part of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2197.47,"endTime":2200.38,"body":"you. But I've grown up to the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2200.38,"endTime":2203.74,"body":"point where I can act my age,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2200.38,"endTime":2203.74,"body":"and then some Yeah, carry on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2203.74,"endTime":2206.32,"body":"conversation. Gosh, I can handle"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2203.74,"endTime":2206.32,"body":"situations that used to just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2206.32,"endTime":2210.31,"body":"throw me for a loop. I can talk"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2206.32,"endTime":2210.31,"body":"to other people who are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2210.31,"endTime":2213.46,"body":"experiencing hardships and help"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2210.31,"endTime":2213.46,"body":"them get through it. I've grown"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2213.46,"endTime":2219.79,"body":"up. And I've I've really gained"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2213.46,"endTime":2219.79,"body":"a sense of accountability. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2219.82,"endTime":2224.23,"body":"then maybe the biggest game"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2219.82,"endTime":2224.23,"body":"changer for relationship. Your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2224.23,"endTime":2226.99,"body":"spouse is probably drawn to us"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2224.23,"endTime":2226.99,"body":"or your partner is drawn to us"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2226.99,"endTime":2229.42,"body":"because I'm a guy that talks"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2226.99,"endTime":2229.42,"body":"about the accountability"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2229.42,"endTime":2234.1,"body":"necessary to work on a marriage"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2229.42,"endTime":2234.1,"body":"after the the toughest part for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2234.1,"endTime":2237.91,"body":"someone. Because think about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2234.1,"endTime":2237.91,"body":"accountability, that's tricky is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2237.91,"endTime":2241.42,"body":"that asking someone to take"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2237.91,"endTime":2241.42,"body":"accountability is not ready is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2241.42,"endTime":2243.91,"body":"going to feel like an attack to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2241.42,"endTime":2243.91,"body":"them. They're gonna think you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2243.91,"endTime":2247.12,"body":"attacking them and like, You're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2243.91,"endTime":2247.12,"body":"belittling them, and you're,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2247.15,"endTime":2250.69,"body":"you're talking down on them, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2247.15,"endTime":2250.69,"body":"you're shaming them and all that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2250.69,"endTime":2254.86,"body":"stuff, like, the Piper has to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2250.69,"endTime":2254.86,"body":"get paid eventually. And I've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2254.86,"endTime":2258.34,"body":"done that now. But in doing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2254.86,"endTime":2258.34,"body":"that, and validating your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2258.34,"endTime":2261.4,"body":"experiences and taking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2258.34,"endTime":2261.4,"body":"accountability for them, you can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2261.4,"endTime":2264.25,"body":"now look yourself in the mirror"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2261.4,"endTime":2264.25,"body":"and be like, I knew I wasn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2264.25,"endTime":2267.67,"body":"crazy. My gut intuition is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2264.25,"endTime":2267.67,"body":"correct. And that empowers you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2267.7,"endTime":2270.49,"body":"Yep. which then in turn makes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2267.7,"endTime":2270.49,"body":"the relationship better. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2270.79,"endTime":2274.3,"body":"So accountability is something I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2270.79,"endTime":2274.3,"body":"learned through this process."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2274.3,"endTime":2276.82,"body":"Yeah, to validate people's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2274.3,"endTime":2276.82,"body":"emotions. I used to be a fixer."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2277.51,"endTime":2280.0,"body":"Males are typically like, we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2277.51,"endTime":2280.0,"body":"taught to be fixers. If someone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2280.0,"endTime":2283.84,"body":"has a problem. It's your job to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2280.0,"endTime":2283.84,"body":"fix it. No, it's not. It's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2283.84,"endTime":2286.24,"body":"your job to fix every problem."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2283.84,"endTime":2286.24,"body":"Nope. It's your job to validate"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2286.24,"endTime":2288.64,"body":"people's experiences, though."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2286.24,"endTime":2288.64,"body":"Just let them know that this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2288.67,"endTime":2291.1,"body":"it's okay to have those"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2288.67,"endTime":2291.1,"body":"emotions. It's okay to feel that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2291.1,"endTime":2294.43,"body":"way. You're safe. I understand."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2291.1,"endTime":2294.43,"body":"It's all you have to say. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2294.52,"endTime":2296.5,"body":"people are smart, they will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2294.52,"endTime":2296.5,"body":"figure these things out. And if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2296.5,"endTime":2299.98,"body":"they want advice, they'll ask"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2296.5,"endTime":2299.98,"body":"for it. Right? 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Man, that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2330.04,"endTime":2333.19,"body":"hard. We were not taught to do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2333.19,"endTime":2336.79,"body":"that. Taught, just push that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2333.19,"endTime":2336.79,"body":"crap down and figure it out?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2336.79,"endTime":2340.45,"body":"Yeah. We don't ever talk about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2336.79,"endTime":2340.45,"body":"it, unless we're drunk. Which is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2340.45,"endTime":2342.37,"body":"another reason I think a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2340.45,"endTime":2342.37,"body":"men like that, because it helps"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2342.37,"endTime":2345.07,"body":"open up. 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Which is tough."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2362.65,"endTime":2365.83,"body":"Like I said, like, I'd like to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2365.83,"endTime":2369.52,"body":"just explain why that's tough."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2365.83,"endTime":2369.52,"body":"And it is tough to and there's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2369.52,"endTime":2371.92,"body":"more than one way to skin this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2369.52,"endTime":2371.92,"body":"cat, right? Like, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2371.92,"endTime":2374.86,"body":"sitting here. I personally got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2371.92,"endTime":2374.86,"body":"sober through a 12 step program."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2374.86,"endTime":2377.86,"body":"But I've known people that got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2374.86,"endTime":2377.86,"body":"sober and many other ways. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2377.86,"endTime":2381.04,"body":"there's a new one I'm reading"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2377.86,"endTime":2381.04,"body":"about called Rational recovery,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2381.04,"endTime":2384.04,"body":"which is nothing more than"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2381.04,"endTime":2384.04,"body":"changing your behaviors,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2384.04,"endTime":2385.87,"body":"understanding that you have an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2384.04,"endTime":2385.87,"body":"addictive voice that lives"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2385.87,"endTime":2389.83,"body":"within you, that wants to drive"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2385.87,"endTime":2389.83,"body":"the behavior of addiction, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2389.83,"endTime":2391.75,"body":"it's a matter of identifying"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2389.83,"endTime":2391.75,"body":"that thing, taking new"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2391.75,"endTime":2394.81,"body":"behaviors, and over time, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2391.75,"endTime":2394.81,"body":"can fix it. There are medical"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2394.93,"endTime":2397.3,"body":"cures, not cures. There are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2394.93,"endTime":2397.3,"body":"medical solutions, I guess"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2397.3,"endTime":2401.56,"body":"treatments for this. Now, Trek's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2397.3,"endTime":2401.56,"body":"own village drawl and abuse are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2401.56,"endTime":2404.65,"body":"all drugs that can give to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2401.56,"endTime":2404.65,"body":"alcoholics, drug addicts to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2404.65,"endTime":2408.55,"body":"control, compulsive behavior."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2404.65,"endTime":2408.55,"body":"Suboxone methadone or for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2408.55,"endTime":2411.43,"body":"opiates, there's there are ways"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2408.55,"endTime":2411.43,"body":"right there are also other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2411.43,"endTime":2417.04,"body":"programs refuge recovery, smart"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2411.43,"endTime":2417.04,"body":"recovery, life ring, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2417.34,"endTime":2419.89,"body":"forgetting several, but there"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2417.34,"endTime":2419.89,"body":"are a million different ways you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2419.89,"endTime":2424.39,"body":"can just run the course of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2419.89,"endTime":2424.39,"body":"therapy. There are solutions."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2424.42,"endTime":2426.43,"body":"Yeah, they all involve asking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2424.42,"endTime":2426.43,"body":"for help, though. And they all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2426.46,"endTime":2428.38,"body":"write ideas that come from the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2426.46,"endTime":2428.38,"body":"outside,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2428.41,"endTime":2430.42,"body":"right? Because there's a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2428.41,"endTime":2430.42,"body":"lot of people who will say, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2430.42,"endTime":2433.54,"body":"can do this myself, I got this,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2430.42,"endTime":2433.54,"body":"everyone says, got this, I can"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2433.54,"endTime":2436.45,"body":"do this. But it rarely ever"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2433.54,"endTime":2436.45,"body":"worked. You don't got this. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2436.45,"endTime":2440.95,"body":"like you said, you can't fix a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2436.45,"endTime":2440.95,"body":"problem with the same problem or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2440.98,"endTime":2443.29,"body":"same brain that you had you just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2440.98,"endTime":2443.29,"body":"you have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2443.29,"endTime":2445.63,"body":"to information is gonna"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2443.29,"endTime":2445.63,"body":"have to come from somewhere"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2445.63,"endTime":2448.15,"body":"else, your best thinking got you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2445.63,"endTime":2448.15,"body":"here. And this is no different"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2448.15,"endTime":2450.16,"body":"than a problem within a company."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2448.15,"endTime":2450.16,"body":"Let's say that your company has"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2450.16,"endTime":2453.07,"body":"been running at a loss for three"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2450.16,"endTime":2453.07,"body":"years straight. And you're like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2453.25,"endTime":2455.2,"body":"Oh, I'm just going to fix it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2453.25,"endTime":2455.2,"body":"No, you're not you're probably"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2455.2,"endTime":2457.06,"body":"going to hire a consultant to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2455.2,"endTime":2457.06,"body":"come in and be like, hey, what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2457.06,"endTime":2459.67,"body":"do I need to do different? And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2457.06,"endTime":2459.67,"body":"you're going to listen. But when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2459.67,"endTime":2463.39,"body":"it comes to our personal lives,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2459.67,"endTime":2463.39,"body":"it's like, no, I would never do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2463.39,"endTime":2469.06,"body":"that. I would never. It's crazy,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2463.39,"endTime":2469.06,"body":"though. Why not? Why not? There"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2469.06,"endTime":2471.46,"body":"are solutions out there. There"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2469.06,"endTime":2471.46,"body":"are people with great ideas."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2472.66,"endTime":2475.21,"body":"There are lots of smart ideas"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2472.66,"endTime":2475.21,"body":"and books you've never read."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2475.45,"endTime":2481.03,"body":"Yeah, Riedel watch it. Take this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2475.45,"endTime":2481.03,"body":"in Listen, there are wonderful"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2481.03,"endTime":2485.32,"body":"ideas and ways to make changes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2481.03,"endTime":2485.32,"body":"on your terms. But just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2485.32,"endTime":2488.8,"body":"understand that if your goal is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2485.32,"endTime":2488.8,"body":"ultimately to be able to keep"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2488.8,"endTime":2491.62,"body":"drinking, just learn how to do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2488.8,"endTime":2491.62,"body":"it, like a gentleman that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2491.62,"endTime":2494.86,"body":"probably going to go poorly. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2491.62,"endTime":2494.86,"body":"you can come back to me and say,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2494.86,"endTime":2498.16,"body":"I'm wrong. But I'm not seeing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2494.86,"endTime":2498.16,"body":"this fail more times than I can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2498.16,"endTime":2500.71,"body":"count. If you figure it out, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2498.16,"endTime":2500.71,"body":"will be a millionaire. Because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2500.71,"endTime":2502.54,"body":"everyone will want to know how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2500.71,"endTime":2502.54,"body":"you did. And that's true."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2502.6,"endTime":2505.18,"body":"Another challenge is that like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2502.6,"endTime":2505.18,"body":"at some point, the rubbers gonna"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2505.18,"endTime":2507.82,"body":"meet the road. And this gets"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2505.18,"endTime":2507.82,"body":"really, really, really, really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2507.82,"endTime":2510.91,"body":"hard. Something will happen,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2507.82,"endTime":2510.91,"body":"you'll have a death in your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2510.91,"endTime":2514.36,"body":"family, you'll have Yeah, you'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2510.91,"endTime":2514.36,"body":"get fired from a job, everything"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2514.36,"endTime":2516.79,"body":"will fall, it will happen, life"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2514.36,"endTime":2516.79,"body":"will happen, man. And in those"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2516.79,"endTime":2518.98,"body":"moments, the first thing you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2516.79,"endTime":2518.98,"body":"will want to do is what you used"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2518.98,"endTime":2521.38,"body":"to do, which is just get drunk."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2518.98,"endTime":2521.38,"body":"Yeah. I'm just gonna encourage"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2521.38,"endTime":2524.2,"body":"you to do something different"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2521.38,"endTime":2524.2,"body":"talk, somebody feel that stuff."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2524.2,"endTime":2527.05,"body":"It's okay. Like, you have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2524.2,"endTime":2527.05,"body":"want it for you as well, which"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2527.05,"endTime":2530.14,"body":"is a tough I think a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2527.05,"endTime":2530.14,"body":"people get desperate because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2530.14,"endTime":2533.44,"body":"their spouse has become educated"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2530.14,"endTime":2533.44,"body":"and empowered. And they're like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2533.68,"endTime":2536.29,"body":"You know what, I'm not going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2533.68,"endTime":2536.29,"body":"do this anymore. And they leave."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2536.35,"endTime":2538.78,"body":"Yeah. Now, now they get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2536.35,"endTime":2538.78,"body":"desperate. I want my wife back."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2538.78,"endTime":2541.15,"body":"I want my wife back. Okay, what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2538.78,"endTime":2541.15,"body":"happens if she never comes back?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2541.78,"endTime":2543.4,"body":"What happens? She never comes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2541.78,"endTime":2543.4,"body":"back? Well, then I'm probably"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2543.4,"endTime":2545.32,"body":"not going to stay sober. Well,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2543.4,"endTime":2545.32,"body":"you're doing it for the wrong"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2545.32,"endTime":2547.51,"body":"reasons, then. Because you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2545.32,"endTime":2547.51,"body":"never going to do the work"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2547.51,"endTime":2550.96,"body":"required how hard this stuff is,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2547.51,"endTime":2550.96,"body":"if it's not for you, and all the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2550.96,"endTime":2554.17,"body":"things that she saw on you, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2550.96,"endTime":2554.17,"body":"incredible person that you are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2554.32,"endTime":2558.67,"body":"deep down in their past this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2554.32,"endTime":2558.67,"body":"addictive personality can only"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2558.67,"endTime":2561.52,"body":"be found through self discovery."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2558.67,"endTime":2561.52,"body":"You can't do it for someone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2561.52,"endTime":2565.66,"body":"else. It's got to be for you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2561.52,"endTime":2565.66,"body":"Another thing I see a lot is the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2565.66,"endTime":2568.27,"body":"spouse will be drinking. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2565.66,"endTime":2568.27,"body":"it's like when the spouse"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2568.27,"endTime":2572.41,"body":"drinks. Yeah, well, you can't do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2568.27,"endTime":2572.41,"body":"that. Yeah, no, she can they can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2572.44,"endTime":2575.2,"body":"he can. They haven't lost a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2572.44,"endTime":2575.2,"body":"privilege to chemical peace of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2575.2,"endTime":2579.97,"body":"mind right there you have Paige"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2575.2,"endTime":2579.97,"body":"drinks like a normal person."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2580.87,"endTime":2584.26,"body":"Would you have like a margarita"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2580.87,"endTime":2584.26,"body":"and half last night? Yes. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2584.26,"endTime":2586.69,"body":"threw away half of the rest of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2584.26,"endTime":2586.69,"body":"it. Which in my opinion, is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2586.69,"endTime":2587.65,"body":"alcohol abuse? Yes."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2587.65,"endTime":2590.62,"body":"Anytime I spill out or I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2587.65,"endTime":2590.62,"body":"pour out any of my drinks, or I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2590.62,"endTime":2592.99,"body":"leave them on the table, he's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2590.62,"endTime":2592.99,"body":"like, that's alcohol abuse. Like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2594.43,"endTime":2597.4,"body":"encouraging this for you crazy"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2594.43,"endTime":2597.4,"body":"person joke,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2597.4,"endTime":2601.66,"body":"right? Who leaves? I know."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2597.4,"endTime":2601.66,"body":"Yeah, you've never you've never"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2601.66,"endTime":2603.91,"body":"I've lost my privilege. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2601.66,"endTime":2603.91,"body":"never at any point. I feel like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2603.91,"endTime":2608.74,"body":"I'm missing out anymore. I see"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2603.91,"endTime":2608.74,"body":"drunk people. I see I see you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2609.13,"endTime":2611.89,"body":"You out there spitting on people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2609.13,"endTime":2611.89,"body":"talking to clothes, talking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2611.89,"endTime":2615.13,"body":"forums, just from their face,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2611.89,"endTime":2615.13,"body":"saying the same story five or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2615.13,"endTime":2617.92,"body":"six times looking like a damn"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2615.13,"endTime":2617.92,"body":"fool. Your posture is all bad."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2617.92,"endTime":2621.7,"body":"And you're just laces. All"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2617.92,"endTime":2621.7,"body":"right. So red looks like oh, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2621.7,"endTime":2625.96,"body":"want to be that dude anymore."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2621.7,"endTime":2625.96,"body":"Not appealing to me damn bad at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2625.96,"endTime":2629.65,"body":"all. I don't want any part of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2625.96,"endTime":2629.65,"body":"it. I'm very much enjoy the way"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2629.65,"endTime":2633.52,"body":"I feel today. I wouldn't trade"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2629.65,"endTime":2633.52,"body":"it for anything. But you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2633.55,"endTime":2636.1,"body":"the benefits to all this. We've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2633.55,"endTime":2636.1,"body":"talked about some of them. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2636.1,"endTime":2638.41,"body":"literally, everything gets"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2636.1,"endTime":2638.41,"body":"better. And that's tongue in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2638.41,"endTime":2641.8,"body":"cheek. So true. We get better."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2638.41,"endTime":2641.8,"body":"Everything just gets better. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2641.8,"endTime":2644.98,"body":"I participate my life today I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2641.8,"endTime":2644.98,"body":"gave up control of everyone and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2644.98,"endTime":2648.19,"body":"everything around me in life got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2644.98,"endTime":2648.19,"body":"easier. I'm not saying like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2648.22,"endTime":2650.74,"body":"yeah, like a bill comes in. I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2648.22,"endTime":2650.74,"body":"gonna pay it right. Not like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2650.74,"endTime":2654.73,"body":"that. Yeah, not that extreme."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2650.74,"endTime":2654.73,"body":"But if someone's acting a fool,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2654.73,"endTime":2657.43,"body":"and it's nothing I've done done"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2654.73,"endTime":2657.43,"body":"to cause it. I just detach"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2657.43,"endTime":2659.65,"body":"myself from it. Yeah, I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2657.43,"endTime":2659.65,"body":"looking involved in that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2659.65,"endTime":2661.66,"body":"can't afford the rent in my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2659.65,"endTime":2661.66,"body":"head. Dude, I'm not giving you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2662.05,"endTime":2665.23,"body":"that. You're not getting that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2662.05,"endTime":2665.23,"body":"space in my mind that came as a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2665.23,"endTime":2668.14,"body":"result of this just giving up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2665.23,"endTime":2668.14,"body":"control and I don't have fear of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2668.14,"endTime":2671.71,"body":"everything anymore. I have more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2668.14,"endTime":2671.71,"body":"time now than I've ever dreamed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2671.71,"endTime":2675.4,"body":"of. I take risks still, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2671.71,"endTime":2675.4,"body":"they're calculated risks. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2675.46,"endTime":2678.16,"body":"they're not just like stupid"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2675.46,"endTime":2678.16,"body":"risks. You know, I asked for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2678.16,"endTime":2682.57,"body":"help. I have close friendships"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2678.16,"endTime":2682.57,"body":"based on real stuff. And I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2682.66,"endTime":2686.14,"body":"possibly the most the biggest"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2682.66,"endTime":2686.14,"body":"thing is I'm useful to other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2686.14,"endTime":2689.62,"body":"people now and I have purpose."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2686.14,"endTime":2689.62,"body":"Yeah, I'm just bringing home a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2689.62,"endTime":2693.52,"body":"check. Like, hey, I paid the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2689.62,"endTime":2693.52,"body":"bills today. That's it. No, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2694.84,"endTime":2698.02,"body":"I'm a person today I'm living my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2694.84,"endTime":2698.02,"body":"life. I'm living my best life."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2698.29,"endTime":2700.99,"body":"I'm living the life I was always"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2698.29,"endTime":2700.99,"body":"intended to live And the sky's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2700.99,"endTime":2703.78,"body":"the limit. It's gonna get better"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2700.99,"endTime":2703.78,"body":"than this. It can keep getting"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2703.78,"endTime":2706.66,"body":"better, but the other shoe"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2703.78,"endTime":2706.66,"body":"doesn't have to fall. Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2706.66,"endTime":2709.66,"body":"I've never sworn off of it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2706.66,"endTime":2709.66,"body":"forever. Don't. That's another"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2709.66,"endTime":2712.78,"body":"big one that a lot people will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2709.66,"endTime":2712.78,"body":"hear. And it's like, never"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2712.78,"endTime":2715.3,"body":"again, I can never have another"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2712.78,"endTime":2715.3,"body":"beer again. I don't even go that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2715.3,"endTime":2718.87,"body":"far my little hamster brain can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2715.3,"endTime":2718.87,"body":"handle today. I know I'm not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2718.87,"endTime":2721.33,"body":"drinking today. So someone that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2718.87,"endTime":2721.33,"body":"and someone asked me this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2721.33,"endTime":2722.83,"body":"question when times like so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2721.33,"endTime":2722.83,"body":"you're really never going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2722.83,"endTime":2725.89,"body":"drink again. I was like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2722.83,"endTime":2725.89,"body":"just not drinking today. They"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2725.89,"endTime":2727.63,"body":"kind of looked at me and like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2725.89,"endTime":2727.63,"body":"raise an eyebrow. They're like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2727.72,"endTime":2731.17,"body":"okay to Shay. Just not drinking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2727.72,"endTime":2731.17,"body":"today, man. Yeah, I don't make"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2731.17,"endTime":2735.4,"body":"promises or guarantees none of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2731.17,"endTime":2735.4,"body":"that. But what's the worst that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2735.4,"endTime":2738.04,"body":"could happen? If you decide to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2735.4,"endTime":2738.04,"body":"walk this path? Like I will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2738.04,"endTime":2741.16,"body":"refund your misery personally,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2738.04,"endTime":2741.16,"body":"you can have it back. But the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2741.16,"endTime":2744.55,"body":"other option as you get better,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2741.16,"endTime":2744.55,"body":"and everything gets better."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2744.85,"endTime":2747.34,"body":"And you deal with your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2744.85,"endTime":2747.34,"body":"problems a lot better than you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2747.34,"endTime":2748.3,"body":"did before."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2748.509,"endTime":2754.329,"body":"Yeah, man, and like, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2748.509,"endTime":2754.329,"body":"know that behind. What's out"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2754.329,"endTime":2759.039,"body":"there, man. Yeah, shouldn't want"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2754.329,"endTime":2759.039,"body":"a hoodie. I, I know that behind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2759.309,"endTime":2762.759,"body":"the addiction is often a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2759.309,"endTime":2762.759,"body":"pain, and a lot of trauma. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2762.759,"endTime":2765.159,"body":"people don't just decide to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2762.759,"endTime":2765.159,"body":"drunk just because they like the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2765.159,"endTime":2769.509,"body":"effects. Now, many do. But there"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2765.159,"endTime":2769.509,"body":"are many others that have a ton"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2769.509,"endTime":2773.169,"body":"of trauma. And I know that we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2769.509,"endTime":2773.169,"body":"were not taught how to handle"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2773.169,"endTime":2775.209,"body":"this. If you're a man listening,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2773.169,"endTime":2775.209,"body":"if you're a man listening to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2775.209,"endTime":2778.059,"body":"this, we weren't taught how to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2775.209,"endTime":2778.059,"body":"handle trauma. We were taught to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2778.059,"endTime":2782.199,"body":"stuff it down. And keep walking,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2778.059,"endTime":2782.199,"body":"stay strong, one foot in front"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2782.199,"endTime":2786.279,"body":"of the other. Pull yourself up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2782.199,"endTime":2786.279,"body":"by your bootstraps, quit crying,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2786.819,"endTime":2789.279,"body":"suck it up and go. That's what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2786.819,"endTime":2789.279,"body":"we were taught to do. Men don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2789.279,"endTime":2792.789,"body":"cry. Men don't have problems."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2789.279,"endTime":2792.789,"body":"But once again, masculinity is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2792.789,"endTime":2796.659,"body":"changing it but we were not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2792.789,"endTime":2796.659,"body":"informed. That's the thing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2796.659,"endTime":2799.539,"body":"that's like, it's as much as I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2796.659,"endTime":2799.539,"body":"want to say it's like it's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2799.539,"endTime":2802.449,"body":"man's fault. Like, in some ways,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2799.539,"endTime":2802.449,"body":"like, I think that a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2802.449,"endTime":2804.729,"body":"failures in relationships in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2802.449,"endTime":2804.729,"body":"general boil down to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2804.729,"endTime":2805.539,"body":"communication."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2805.54,"endTime":2808.51,"body":"Well, yeah, that's why"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2805.54,"endTime":2808.51,"body":"you know, men don't validate"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2808.51,"endTime":2811.33,"body":"women, because y'all were taught"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2808.51,"endTime":2811.33,"body":"not to validate emotions."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2811.33,"endTime":2813.64,"body":"Yeah. But doesn't mean"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2811.33,"endTime":2813.64,"body":"it's not our responsibility to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2813.64,"endTime":2816.58,"body":"do it. Right. It's because I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2813.64,"endTime":2816.58,"body":"wasn't taught. Right, I have the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2816.58,"endTime":2820.3,"body":"responsibility still, to do it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2816.58,"endTime":2820.3,"body":"Yeah, I think that's a tough one"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2820.3,"endTime":2823.06,"body":"that we battle with. It's like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2820.3,"endTime":2823.06,"body":"I'm in my 40s or 50s. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2823.06,"endTime":2825.4,"body":"hearing this, I'm like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2823.06,"endTime":2825.4,"body":"supposed to change all this all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2825.4,"endTime":2827.62,"body":"of a sudden, not asking you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2825.4,"endTime":2827.62,"body":"change everything, all of a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2827.62,"endTime":2830.98,"body":"sudden, acknowledge it, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2827.62,"endTime":2830.98,"body":"start to walk the path a little"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2830.98,"endTime":2833.92,"body":"by slow, one foot in front the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2830.98,"endTime":2833.92,"body":"other each day a little bit"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2833.92,"endTime":2836.44,"body":"better. But the face of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2833.92,"endTime":2836.44,"body":"masculinity is changing. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2836.47,"endTime":2840.01,"body":"And we haven't been kept up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2836.47,"endTime":2840.01,"body":"with, you know, we've been"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2840.01,"endTime":2842.68,"body":"looking at how to advance women"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2840.01,"endTime":2842.68,"body":"for a very long time. And that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2842.68,"endTime":2844.87,"body":"a beautiful thing. And women"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2842.68,"endTime":2844.87,"body":"have gotten much better. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2844.87,"endTime":2847.63,"body":"we've gotten we've gotten left"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2844.87,"endTime":2847.63,"body":"out in a lot of this. And the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2847.63,"endTime":2850.93,"body":"trauma that underlies a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2847.63,"endTime":2850.93,"body":"this stuff. It's okay, I have it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2850.93,"endTime":2855.01,"body":"too. I have tons of trauma from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2850.93,"endTime":2855.01,"body":"my past. And it's okay to say"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2855.01,"endTime":2857.98,"body":"that I'm not okay. It doesn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2855.01,"endTime":2857.98,"body":"make you less of a man or less"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2857.98,"endTime":2861.01,"body":"of a woman to admit that you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2857.98,"endTime":2861.01,"body":"in pain. It's not your fault"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2861.04,"endTime":2863.83,"body":"that you're in pain there. If"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2861.04,"endTime":2863.83,"body":"you're if you're a child, you've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2863.83,"endTime":2866.74,"body":"got childhood trauma, you didn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2863.83,"endTime":2866.74,"body":"have a part in that. You didn't,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2867.01,"endTime":2869.83,"body":"you're only part of is that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2867.01,"endTime":2869.83,"body":"you're in your 40s. And you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2869.83,"endTime":2873.34,"body":"choosing to be a victim rather"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2869.83,"endTime":2873.34,"body":"than a survivor. And to learn to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2873.34,"endTime":2876.67,"body":"process this stuff and find some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2873.34,"endTime":2876.67,"body":"way for that to empower you. I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2876.67,"endTime":2879.22,"body":"not telling you, you need to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2876.67,"endTime":2879.22,"body":"just let this stuff slide"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2879.22,"endTime":2883.03,"body":"either. It's to look at it and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2879.22,"endTime":2883.03,"body":"own it. Yeah, look at it known"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2883.03,"endTime":2885.76,"body":"it's really tough, but it's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2883.03,"endTime":2885.76,"body":"your fault, but it is your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2885.76,"endTime":2889.18,"body":"responsibility to deal with it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2885.76,"endTime":2889.18,"body":"Here's the screwed up part about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2889.18,"endTime":2892.24,"body":"trauma is that alcoholics have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2889.18,"endTime":2892.24,"body":"been through trauma know how bad"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2892.24,"endTime":2895.48,"body":"trauma can be. But you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2892.24,"endTime":2895.48,"body":"what we do when we drink and use"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2895.81,"endTime":2898.75,"body":"your giving, we give it right"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2895.81,"endTime":2898.75,"body":"back to everyone around us. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2898.75,"endTime":2901.24,"body":"like we pass it out like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2898.75,"endTime":2901.24,"body":"stocking stuffers, like scratch"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2901.24,"endTime":2903.61,"body":"off lottery tickets at the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2901.24,"endTime":2903.61,"body":"holiday party. Here you have one"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2903.61,"endTime":2906.43,"body":"you have some trauma, we just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2903.61,"endTime":2906.43,"body":"give that stuff away everybody."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2906.79,"endTime":2910.78,"body":"So it's it's sad. It's it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2906.79,"endTime":2910.78,"body":"depressing. But the people who"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2910.78,"endTime":2913.18,"body":"have it the worst, give it right"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2910.78,"endTime":2913.18,"body":"back to everyone around them."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2913.18,"endTime":2916.72,"body":"And it just spreads the cancer."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2913.18,"endTime":2916.72,"body":"It just keeps going. It keeps"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2916.72,"endTime":2919.84,"body":"going. But you can break the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2916.72,"endTime":2919.84,"body":"cycle, right that cycle, break"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2919.84,"endTime":2923.35,"body":"it. It's tough to do, but you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2919.84,"endTime":2923.35,"body":"can do it is so again, like, my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2923.35,"endTime":2925.75,"body":"wife wasn't trying to control my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2923.35,"endTime":2925.75,"body":"life. She was actually trying to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2925.75,"endTime":2929.92,"body":"save it. Yours is probably"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2925.75,"endTime":2929.92,"body":"probably doing the same thing."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2930.73,"endTime":2933.58,"body":"The nagging and all that just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2930.73,"endTime":2933.58,"body":"listen for a moment. Just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2933.58,"endTime":2938.05,"body":"listen. You're gonna hear some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2933.58,"endTime":2938.05,"body":"hope in there. She's telling you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2938.08,"endTime":2943.57,"body":"what she sees in you what she"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2938.08,"endTime":2943.57,"body":"believes you can be. She's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2943.57,"endTime":2947.95,"body":"asking you to up and do it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2943.57,"endTime":2947.95,"body":"today. But these are not huge"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2947.95,"endTime":2951.34,"body":"requests most of the time. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2947.95,"endTime":2951.34,"body":"Like, could you just be sober"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2951.37,"endTime":2953.68,"body":"and be home and like enjoy a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2951.37,"endTime":2953.68,"body":"movie with me? Could you just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2953.68,"endTime":2956.62,"body":"talk to me about my day? Could"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2953.68,"endTime":2956.62,"body":"you ever wonder what's going on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2956.62,"endTime":2959.65,"body":"in my life? What about your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2956.62,"endTime":2959.65,"body":"kids? How about what's going on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2959.65,"endTime":2963.85,"body":"in your life? Tell me about how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2959.65,"endTime":2963.85,"body":"you feel. Participate in life."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2963.91,"endTime":2967.9,"body":"Yeah, but not asking for a lot."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2963.91,"endTime":2967.9,"body":"Yeah, they're just not. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2967.9,"endTime":2971.2,"body":"haven't seen that anyway, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2967.9,"endTime":2971.2,"body":"all fairness, maybe someone has"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2971.47,"endTime":2973.84,"body":"crossed that line and they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2971.47,"endTime":2973.84,"body":"asking for a lot but I've never"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2973.87,"endTime":2975.91,"body":"I've just seen someone trying to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2973.87,"endTime":2975.91,"body":"save someone else's life"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2975.91,"endTime":2980.35,"body":"generally is what we see. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2975.91,"endTime":2980.35,"body":"know that. You ever heard that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2980.35,"endTime":2984.55,"body":"saying be the person that your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2980.35,"endTime":2984.55,"body":"dog thinks you are? Yes. Be the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2984.55,"endTime":2987.7,"body":"person your dog thinks you are."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2984.55,"endTime":2987.7,"body":"Oh my god. We walk in the house"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2987.7,"endTime":2991.99,"body":"you could have just you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2987.7,"endTime":2991.99,"body":"you could have just like cut up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2991.99,"endTime":2994.39,"body":"a family of four and put them in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2991.99,"endTime":2994.39,"body":"barrels and dumped on the bomb"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2994.39,"endTime":2996.4,"body":"the ocean but when you walk in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2994.39,"endTime":2996.4,"body":"your front door, your dog is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2996.4,"endTime":3000.12,"body":"going to think you are the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2996.4,"endTime":3000.12,"body":"greatest human on the planet. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3000.63,"endTime":3003.24,"body":"don't care what you've done be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3000.63,"endTime":3003.24,"body":"the person your wife thinks you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3003.24,"endTime":3007.29,"body":"are. The person your dog thinks"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3003.24,"endTime":3007.29,"body":"you are. That's great. Have you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3007.29,"endTime":3009.75,"body":"ever heard that before? That was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3007.29,"endTime":3009.75,"body":"cracked me up? Because it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3009.75,"endTime":3013.83,"body":"true. I can be Yeah, I can come"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3009.75,"endTime":3013.83,"body":"in at the goofy dog will look at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3013.83,"endTime":3016.44,"body":"me and like he's just perfect."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3013.83,"endTime":3016.44,"body":"Look at him. He's beautiful."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3016.44,"endTime":3020.16,"body":"He's wonderful. I'm like, I love"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3016.44,"endTime":3020.16,"body":"your little dog. That's why dogs"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3020.16,"endTime":3023.85,"body":"are great, right? Don't call us"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3020.16,"endTime":3023.85,"body":"on our BS. Yeah, spouses will."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3023.97,"endTime":3029.85,"body":"Yeah, we've got a theory on that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3023.97,"endTime":3029.85,"body":"too. For why some people have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3029.85,"endTime":3031.44,"body":"too many pets. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3033.75,"endTime":3036.24,"body":"You're getting off track"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3033.75,"endTime":3036.24,"body":"now."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3037.29,"endTime":3040.74,"body":"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3037.29,"endTime":3040.74,"body":"sorry. There's no shame in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3040.74,"endTime":3044.37,"body":"having a problem, right. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3040.74,"endTime":3044.37,"body":"stay in your lane. Let's own our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3044.37,"endTime":3048.09,"body":"stuff, our stuff, stop worrying"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3044.37,"endTime":3048.09,"body":"about how miserable everyone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3048.09,"endTime":3053.49,"body":"else needs to be. Just so that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3048.09,"endTime":3053.49,"body":"we can make progress. Like I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3053.49,"endTime":3056.91,"body":"will only I will only change if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3053.49,"endTime":3056.91,"body":"you agree to change to like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3056.91,"endTime":3059.34,"body":"this, not how this works. Let's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3056.91,"endTime":3059.34,"body":"just look at our side of the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3059.34,"endTime":3062.46,"body":"street and figure out what we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3059.34,"endTime":3062.46,"body":"can change. Let's own that. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3062.46,"endTime":3066.03,"body":"my hope is that someone hears"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3062.46,"endTime":3066.03,"body":"this and they hear maybe one"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3066.03,"endTime":3069.15,"body":"thing they're like, Okay, when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3066.03,"endTime":3069.15,"body":"he said that, I felt hope."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3069.42,"endTime":3072.27,"body":"That's all I that's all I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3069.42,"endTime":3072.27,"body":"hoping for here. I'm using hope"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3072.3,"endTime":3075.75,"body":"too much. But that's only word"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3072.3,"endTime":3075.75,"body":"think it's great word. It's it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3075.75,"endTime":3078.54,"body":"important. And it's vital. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3075.75,"endTime":3078.54,"body":"it's powerful. Because many"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3078.54,"endTime":3081.3,"body":"people didn't know that this is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3078.54,"endTime":3081.3,"body":"an option. You could be happy"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3081.3,"endTime":3083.55,"body":"and sober. Are you kidding me?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3081.3,"endTime":3083.55,"body":"For real? Didn't know that was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3083.55,"endTime":3086.28,"body":"possible. I worked with a guy"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3083.55,"endTime":3086.28,"body":"who told me that he's like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3086.58,"endTime":3089.01,"body":"wait, I can be happy. And so"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3089.82,"endTime":3093.12,"body":"yeah, yeah, like way"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3089.82,"endTime":3093.12,"body":"happier than you can ever"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3093.15,"endTime":3093.69,"body":"imagine if you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3093.69,"endTime":3095.64,"body":"could show me how to do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3093.69,"endTime":3095.64,"body":"that I'm in because the bottom"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3095.64,"endTime":3098.01,"body":"line is that if you don't find a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3095.64,"endTime":3098.01,"body":"sufficient substitute for the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3098.01,"endTime":3101.79,"body":"joy that drinking gave you,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3098.01,"endTime":3101.79,"body":"you're gonna go back. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3101.79,"endTime":3105.66,"body":"reinvent yourself, reinvent"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3101.79,"endTime":3105.66,"body":"yourself, you can do that today."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3106.17,"endTime":3108.48,"body":"A lot of times when we get sober"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3106.17,"endTime":3108.48,"body":"suddenly, we have this midlife"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3108.48,"endTime":3111.87,"body":"crisis. And we're like, Okay,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3108.48,"endTime":3111.87,"body":"I'm divorcing my wife, I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3111.87,"endTime":3114.72,"body":"moving to Canada. I'm gonna"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3111.87,"endTime":3114.72,"body":"start a PhD program from the guy"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3114.72,"endTime":3117.21,"body":"with the high school education."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3114.72,"endTime":3117.21,"body":"I'm like, well, we'll back up."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3117.72,"endTime":3120.06,"body":"Let's not make any massive"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3117.72,"endTime":3120.06,"body":"changes, at least for a year."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3120.09,"endTime":3122.46,"body":"Yeah. And I'm like, learn how to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3120.09,"endTime":3122.46,"body":"walk again. And then we'll go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3122.46,"endTime":3125.64,"body":"there. But if you want to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3122.46,"endTime":3125.64,"body":"fit, that's wonderful. Start"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3125.67,"endTime":3128.76,"body":"eating healthier. That's good."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3125.67,"endTime":3128.76,"body":"reading more books. Okay, cool."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3128.97,"endTime":3131.88,"body":"Maybe start going to church or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3128.97,"endTime":3131.88,"body":"doing something for you. Okay."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3132.63,"endTime":3135.75,"body":"Chill on the big stuff, though,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3132.63,"endTime":3135.75,"body":"for a moment run by somebody"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3135.75,"endTime":3140.52,"body":"before you up and have a midlife"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3135.75,"endTime":3140.52,"body":"crisis, right. So I just, I hope"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3140.52,"endTime":3143.16,"body":"that someone heard something"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3140.52,"endTime":3143.16,"body":"from this, I hope that you've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3143.16,"endTime":3146.7,"body":"listened to this point this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3143.16,"endTime":3146.7,"body":"long, and thought, okay, there's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3146.7,"endTime":3149.34,"body":"something to that. And this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3146.7,"endTime":3149.34,"body":"thing that my wife had found is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3149.37,"endTime":3152.28,"body":"probably not all BS. Because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3149.37,"endTime":3152.28,"body":"what we're doing at the end of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3152.28,"endTime":3156.45,"body":"the day, I hate to say this,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3152.28,"endTime":3156.45,"body":"we're educating. And we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3156.45,"endTime":3159.33,"body":"empowering. And we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3156.45,"endTime":3159.33,"body":"validating. And we're helping"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3159.33,"endTime":3163.59,"body":"your partner in their recovery,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3159.33,"endTime":3163.59,"body":"their own recovery journey, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3163.59,"endTime":3166.32,"body":"will have yours if you choose,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3163.59,"endTime":3166.32,"body":"but they've chosen to have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3166.32,"endTime":3168.9,"body":"theirs. And that's why they come"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3166.32,"endTime":3168.9,"body":"here. And listen, that's why"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3168.9,"endTime":3171.36,"body":"they come to the content,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3168.9,"endTime":3171.36,"body":"because they have their own."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3172.41,"endTime":3175.44,"body":"What will happen eventually, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3172.41,"endTime":3175.44,"body":"hate to say this, this is just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3175.44,"endTime":3178.83,"body":"what typically happens is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3175.44,"endTime":3178.83,"body":"education is a powerful thing."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3179.25,"endTime":3182.34,"body":"And once someone becomes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3179.25,"endTime":3182.34,"body":"educated, we can't go back once"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3182.34,"endTime":3185.25,"body":"you learn certain things, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3182.34,"endTime":3185.25,"body":"can't go back once they learned"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3185.25,"endTime":3188.52,"body":"that they could be happy without"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3185.25,"endTime":3188.52,"body":"their addiction, which is you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3190.26,"endTime":3193.02,"body":"You're on your own. Yeah. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3190.26,"endTime":3193.02,"body":"you have a chance still, if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3193.02,"endTime":3195.63,"body":"you're listening to this. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3193.02,"endTime":3195.63,"body":"And that's a beautiful thing."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3195.75,"endTime":3200.13,"body":"It's not too late. It's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3195.75,"endTime":3200.13,"body":"gonna say it's easy. It is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3200.13,"endTime":3202.41,"body":"incredibly hard. It's the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3200.13,"endTime":3202.41,"body":"hardest thing you've ever done."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3202.98,"endTime":3206.13,"body":"But she's going to figure this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3202.98,"endTime":3206.13,"body":"out, she's going to become"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3206.13,"endTime":3207.78,"body":"empowered enough to say, You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3206.13,"endTime":3207.78,"body":"know what, I don't have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3207.78,"endTime":3210.84,"body":"tolerate this stuff. And you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3207.78,"endTime":3210.84,"body":"would have missed out on the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3210.84,"endTime":3213.51,"body":"most amazing relationship that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3210.84,"endTime":3213.51,"body":"you would have ever had with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3213.51,"endTime":3218.55,"body":"somebody. It's just not worth"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3213.51,"endTime":3218.55,"body":"it. It's not worth it. And I've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3218.55,"endTime":3221.16,"body":"seen this a million times when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3218.55,"endTime":3221.16,"body":"someone gets empowered enough to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3221.16,"endTime":3225.36,"body":"make the toughest decision in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3221.16,"endTime":3225.36,"body":"their life. The partner who's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3225.36,"endTime":3229.17,"body":"being left the the drinker, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3225.36,"endTime":3229.17,"body":"drug person who's gonna close"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3229.17,"endTime":3231.93,"body":"this damn thing. person who's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3229.17,"endTime":3231.93,"body":"taking drugs, drinking is gonna"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3231.93,"endTime":3235.14,"body":"blame them. They're gonna blame"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3231.93,"endTime":3235.14,"body":"us. Yeah, we got to insurance"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3235.14,"endTime":3237.96,"body":"for that. But they're gonna"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3235.14,"endTime":3237.96,"body":"they're gonna say it's your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3237.96,"endTime":3242.16,"body":"fault. It's, it's all you I've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3237.96,"endTime":3242.16,"body":"seen it a million times. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3242.88,"endTime":3247.11,"body":"once again, you can't fix your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3242.88,"endTime":3247.11,"body":"problem with the same mind that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3247.11,"endTime":3250.95,"body":"created it. And if you if you if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3247.11,"endTime":3250.95,"body":"you do split and you go get in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3250.95,"endTime":3253.17,"body":"another relationship, you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3250.95,"endTime":3253.17,"body":"it's gonna happen. Same same"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3253.17,"endTime":3255.12,"body":"thing, same thing. Are you going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3253.17,"endTime":3255.12,"body":"to find someone as sick as you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3255.12,"endTime":3258.0,"body":"are? Yeah, that's like Bonnie"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3255.12,"endTime":3258.0,"body":"and Clyde right and up, shot up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3258.0,"endTime":3260.43,"body":"on the side of the road"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3258.0,"endTime":3260.43,"body":"somewhere in Louisiana, front of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3260.43,"endTime":3264.48,"body":"an old 40 Ford, whatever, they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3260.43,"endTime":3264.48,"body":"were dying. That's what happens"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3264.48,"endTime":3267.36,"body":"in those relationships. But it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3264.48,"endTime":3267.36,"body":"will follow you around. It'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3267.36,"endTime":3270.06,"body":"just rinse and repeat. It'll be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3267.36,"endTime":3270.06,"body":"a cycle of your life. And maybe"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3270.06,"endTime":3273.51,"body":"one day you'll figure it out."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3270.06,"endTime":3273.51,"body":"Maybe I should have done"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3273.51,"endTime":3276.03,"body":"something about that. So maybe"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3273.51,"endTime":3276.03,"body":"this is the intervention, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3276.03,"endTime":3278.28,"body":"need to hear something. Maybe"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3276.03,"endTime":3278.28,"body":"this is what you need to hear."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3278.64,"endTime":3282.36,"body":"Listen, I'm gentle. I've walked"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3278.64,"endTime":3282.36,"body":"that line between, do no harm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3282.36,"endTime":3286.41,"body":"and take no shit as best I can."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3282.36,"endTime":3286.41,"body":"But sometimes you gotta let"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3286.41,"endTime":3289.44,"body":"people know what's really at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3286.41,"endTime":3289.44,"body":"stake here. Yeah, but on the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3289.44,"endTime":3294.18,"body":"other hand, that deep that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3289.44,"endTime":3294.18,"body":"are loved deeply. There's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3294.57,"endTime":3298.08,"body":"brilliance within you. Yes. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3294.57,"endTime":3298.08,"body":"we can unlock it. You can get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3298.08,"endTime":3301.29,"body":"better. You can become 10 And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3298.08,"endTime":3301.29,"body":"times better than you ever word"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3301.29,"endTime":3304.17,"body":"you can be remembered with a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3301.29,"endTime":3304.17,"body":"legacy of being an incredible"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3304.17,"endTime":3308.28,"body":"person. But if you keep this up,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3304.17,"endTime":3308.28,"body":"it's not going to happen. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3308.28,"endTime":3311.43,"body":"just not. It's not. It's going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3308.28,"endTime":3311.43,"body":"to be an awkward funeral where"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3311.43,"endTime":3313.38,"body":"they're going to beat around the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3311.43,"endTime":3313.38,"body":"bush. And no one talks about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3313.38,"endTime":3316.35,"body":"what the real problem was. I've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3313.38,"endTime":3316.35,"body":"been to those two, I've seen"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3316.35,"endTime":3320.55,"body":"more people. I've lost more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3316.35,"endTime":3320.55,"body":"people from this thing. And the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3320.55,"endTime":3323.1,"body":"10 years I've been sober than"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3320.55,"endTime":3323.1,"body":"the previous 20 plus years of my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3323.1,"endTime":3327.84,"body":"life combined. In the short 10"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3323.1,"endTime":3327.84,"body":"year span. People with great"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3327.84,"endTime":3331.2,"body":"potential amazing people loving"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3327.84,"endTime":3331.2,"body":"beautiful people who just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3331.2,"endTime":3334.53,"body":"wouldn't listen and heed the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3331.2,"endTime":3334.53,"body":"warnings and do anything I took."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3335.28,"endTime":3337.47,"body":"And it breaks my heart. If we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3335.28,"endTime":3337.47,"body":"not here today, with the same"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3337.47,"endTime":3340.71,"body":"time it also I see that and I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3337.47,"endTime":3340.71,"body":"like, well, could have been me."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3340.77,"endTime":3342.96,"body":"I'm just gonna work harder."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3340.77,"endTime":3342.96,"body":"Every time I see that. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3342.96,"endTime":3345.75,"body":"like, it's reassurance that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3342.96,"endTime":3345.75,"body":"doesn't get better, man. Just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3345.78,"endTime":3348.21,"body":"keep going. This thing is like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3345.78,"endTime":3348.21,"body":"it's progressive. It gets worse"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3348.21,"endTime":3351.84,"body":"over time. Yeah, never better"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3348.21,"endTime":3351.84,"body":"and it gets worse. And it's, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3351.84,"endTime":3356.25,"body":"just want you to know, recovery"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3351.84,"endTime":3356.25,"body":"is possible. And you know, if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3356.25,"endTime":3359.01,"body":"you feel like she's nagging, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3356.25,"endTime":3359.01,"body":"then she's, she's wearing you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3359.01,"endTime":3362.13,"body":"out, and she's right on the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3359.01,"endTime":3362.13,"body":"money, let's just be real. Like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3362.13,"endTime":3363.72,"body":"maybe there's some stuff in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3362.13,"endTime":3363.72,"body":"there that came off a little"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3363.72,"endTime":3366.54,"body":"ugly. I'll give you that. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3363.72,"endTime":3366.54,"body":"spouses can be really hurtful"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3366.54,"endTime":3369.96,"body":"sometimes. But when you've been"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3366.54,"endTime":3369.96,"body":"backed into a corner, and left"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3369.96,"endTime":3372.36,"body":"with no options, you don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3369.96,"endTime":3372.36,"body":"you're out of you're out of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3372.36,"endTime":3374.67,"body":"tricks, you just start getting"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3372.36,"endTime":3374.67,"body":"ugly with each other. Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3374.67,"endTime":3377.28,"body":"I know that I know that I know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3374.67,"endTime":3377.28,"body":"that stuff hurts. A lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3377.28,"endTime":3380.01,"body":"things have been said on both"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3377.28,"endTime":3380.01,"body":"sides that we're not meant. 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Yeah, they're eventually"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3392.49,"endTime":3394.47,"body":"going to figure it out for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3394.47,"endTime":3398.25,"body":"themselves. But if you're like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3394.47,"endTime":3398.25,"body":"me, it's okay. There's millions"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3398.25,"endTime":3402.57,"body":"of us. There's million more in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3398.25,"endTime":3402.57,"body":"the ground, though. You can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3402.57,"endTime":3406.98,"body":"recover or you can run that well"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3402.57,"endTime":3406.98,"body":"worn path straight into the dirt"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3407.31,"endTime":3410.31,"body":"through call. I hope it was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3407.31,"endTime":3410.31,"body":"helpful. Yeah, that's all I've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3410.31,"endTime":3413.46,"body":"got really good. You think so?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3410.31,"endTime":3413.46,"body":"Yeah. Is there anything I didn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3413.46,"endTime":3414.69,"body":"cover? No,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3414.72,"endTime":3418.47,"body":"you covered everything."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3414.72,"endTime":3418.47,"body":"Okay. If I think of anything"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3418.47,"endTime":3419.55,"body":"else, and we'll do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3420.06,"endTime":3422.58,"body":"a heavy episode, and I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3420.06,"endTime":3422.58,"body":"hope that someone listened to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3422.58,"endTime":3424.74,"body":"this all the way through, at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3422.58,"endTime":3424.74,"body":"least one person did. But it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3424.74,"endTime":3426.81,"body":"designed for you to share with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3424.74,"endTime":3426.81,"body":"somebody in your life who's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3426.81,"endTime":3428.28,"body":"struggling, and you don't really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3426.81,"endTime":3428.28,"body":"know how to have that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3428.28,"endTime":3432.09,"body":"conversation. It's a tough"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3428.28,"endTime":3432.09,"body":"conversation to have. And I get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3432.09,"endTime":3435.9,"body":"that question a lot is like, how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3432.09,"endTime":3435.9,"body":"do I bring this up? Like how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3435.9,"endTime":3438.51,"body":"serious this is what because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3435.9,"endTime":3438.51,"body":"when I as soon as I do they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3438.51,"endTime":3442.77,"body":"freak out on me? Yeah, mad gets"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3438.51,"endTime":3442.77,"body":"turned around, well, I can have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3442.77,"endTime":3445.74,"body":"it. They can't yell at me. Maybe"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3442.77,"endTime":3445.74,"body":"I get a nasty email or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3445.74,"endTime":3449.37,"body":"something. That's fine. I'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3445.74,"endTime":3449.37,"body":"delete it. But whatever. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3449.4,"endTime":3452.13,"body":"yell at me, but it's got thick"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3449.4,"endTime":3452.13,"body":"skin. Yeah, I don't care, man."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3452.16,"endTime":3455.37,"body":"You can yell at me yell at me,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3452.16,"endTime":3455.37,"body":"that's fine. Yell at me. I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3455.37,"endTime":3458.91,"body":"care. But when it comes to these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3455.37,"endTime":3458.91,"body":"conversations, they're tough to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3458.91,"endTime":3462.3,"body":"have. Because it's really not a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3458.91,"endTime":3462.3,"body":"nice way to say that our life is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3462.3,"endTime":3464.25,"body":"falling apart. And I feel like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3462.3,"endTime":3464.25,"body":"you're drinking has something to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3464.25,"endTime":3467.79,"body":"do with it without you feeling a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3464.25,"endTime":3467.79,"body":"little bit shamed, and a little"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3467.79,"endTime":3470.82,"body":"bit victimized, and bashed and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3467.79,"endTime":3470.82,"body":"battered. And I totally get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3470.82,"endTime":3474.06,"body":"that. But take a couple deep"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3470.82,"endTime":3474.06,"body":"breaths and sit here with me and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3474.06,"endTime":3477.72,"body":"be like, Yeah, okay, maybe I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3474.06,"endTime":3477.72,"body":"have maybe a half to some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3477.72,"endTime":3481.83,"body":"degree, that's fine. And I've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3477.72,"endTime":3481.83,"body":"never met a to this day, I have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3481.83,"endTime":3484.11,"body":"not met someone who's in a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3481.83,"endTime":3484.11,"body":"relationship with an active"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3484.38,"endTime":3488.43,"body":"drinker or drug user, who"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3484.38,"endTime":3488.43,"body":"doesn't want to work some sort"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3488.43,"endTime":3491.22,"body":"of collaborative recovery where"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3488.43,"endTime":3491.22,"body":"they want to like, hey, I want"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3491.22,"endTime":3494.49,"body":"to work on my stuff. And I want"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3491.22,"endTime":3494.49,"body":"you to work on your stuff, too."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3494.52,"endTime":3497.7,"body":"Yeah. And when people do that,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3494.52,"endTime":3497.7,"body":"man, you can't separate those"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3497.7,"endTime":3500.94,"body":"two, that is a force. That's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3497.7,"endTime":3500.94,"body":"beautiful thing. That's what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3500.94,"endTime":3503.67,"body":"we've done. I've worked my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3500.94,"endTime":3503.67,"body":"recovery. You've worked yours."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3503.67,"endTime":3506.91,"body":"We work it together, together"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3503.67,"endTime":3506.91,"body":"separately. And that's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3506.91,"endTime":3509.49,"body":"beautiful thing. That's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3506.91,"endTime":3509.49,"body":"powerful thing. Some people get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3509.49,"endTime":3511.65,"body":"to that point. But the other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3509.49,"endTime":3511.65,"body":"side of this, the more common is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3511.65,"endTime":3516.21,"body":"that someone's going to recover."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3511.65,"endTime":3516.21,"body":"And the other one I Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3516.21,"endTime":3519.96,"body":"that's tough to watch. But hey,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3516.21,"endTime":3519.96,"body":"man, we're here to we're held"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3520.14,"endTime":3526.59,"body":"here to help spouses, Vir. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3520.14,"endTime":3526.59,"body":"validate, empower, educate, work"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3526.59,"endTime":3529.11,"body":"their own recovery journey."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3526.59,"endTime":3529.11,"body":"Yeah. And that's what we're here"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3529.11,"endTime":3532.29,"body":"to do. But I'm your friend. I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3529.11,"endTime":3532.29,"body":"not your enemy. You may think of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3532.29,"endTime":3536.67,"body":"this that way. Amen. I'm just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3532.29,"endTime":3536.67,"body":"just educating people. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3536.7,"endTime":3539.07,"body":"that's all Yeah, their own"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3536.7,"endTime":3539.07,"body":"decisions. Don't tell anyone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3539.07,"endTime":3541.17,"body":"what to do, but they can figure"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3539.07,"endTime":3541.17,"body":"it out. They're not dummies."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3541.98,"endTime":3545.88,"body":"Alright, well, that's it for our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3541.98,"endTime":3545.88,"body":"first episode of fall. pumped"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3545.88,"endTime":3548.64,"body":"about the season coming up. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3545.88,"endTime":3548.64,"body":"your first cold front."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3550.29,"endTime":3551.55,"body":"82 degrees."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3551.91,"endTime":3555.09,"body":"Low is gonna be in the 50s"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3551.91,"endTime":3555.09,"body":"It's gonna be great. having"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3555.09,"endTime":3558.36,"body":"coffee on the porch. Oh, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3555.09,"endTime":3558.36,"body":"gonna be wonderful. Things we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3558.36,"endTime":3561.33,"body":"get to do now. Once again,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3558.36,"endTime":3561.33,"body":"another benefit. Yeah. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3561.33,"endTime":3564.78,"body":"beautiful life, man. It's out"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3561.33,"endTime":3564.78,"body":"there for you. All right. Well,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3564.81,"endTime":3566.61,"body":"until next time, I am Matt."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3566.64,"endTime":3567.39,"body":"I'm Paige."}]}