{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.85,"body":"A trigger is essentially"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.85,"body":"an open wound. It's an open"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2.85,"endTime":5.22,"body":"wound that hasn't healed yet. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2.85,"endTime":5.22,"body":"think about having an open"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":5.22,"endTime":7.74,"body":"wound, like I've got one on my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":5.22,"endTime":7.74,"body":"hand right now, anytime that I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":7.74,"endTime":11.07,"body":"rub it up against anything, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":7.74,"endTime":11.07,"body":"feel it. That's what a trigger"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":11.07,"endTime":13.92,"body":"is like. It's an emotional"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":11.07,"endTime":13.92,"body":"wound. It's still open, it has"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":13.92,"endTime":24.21,"body":"not healed yet. Welcome back,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":13.92,"endTime":24.21,"body":"well come back to another"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":24.21,"endTime":28.71,"body":"episode of till the wheels fall"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":24.21,"endTime":28.71,"body":"off. I am Matt. We are talking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":28.71,"endTime":32.19,"body":"triggers today. We've actually"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":28.71,"endTime":32.19,"body":"done an episode on this. And if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":32.19,"endTime":34.59,"body":"you haven't ever heard that one,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":32.19,"endTime":34.59,"body":"I would suggest you go back and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":34.59,"endTime":38.07,"body":"check that one out. Our first"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":34.59,"endTime":38.07,"body":"episode on triggers was more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":38.07,"endTime":41.49,"body":"general about life triggers,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":38.07,"endTime":41.49,"body":"social media triggers, things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":41.49,"endTime":44.61,"body":"that happen in your day to day"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":41.49,"endTime":44.61,"body":"world. Today, we're going to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":44.61,"endTime":47.97,"body":"discussing more of what we focus"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":44.61,"endTime":47.97,"body":"on here lately anyway, maybe"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":47.97,"endTime":50.94,"body":"what we focus on from here on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":47.97,"endTime":50.94,"body":"out as because back then we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":50.94,"endTime":53.52,"body":"didn't really know what we were"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":50.94,"endTime":53.52,"body":"doing when we started a podcast."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":53.64,"endTime":56.91,"body":"Yeah, but we're talking more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":53.64,"endTime":56.91,"body":"about triggers in a relationship"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":56.91,"endTime":59.7,"body":"where there drugs and alcohol"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":56.91,"endTime":59.7,"body":"involved over a long period of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":59.7,"endTime":62.76,"body":"time, and I know that coming"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":59.7,"endTime":62.76,"body":"from me is not going to mean"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":62.76,"endTime":65.97,"body":"nearly as much. So I love these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":62.76,"endTime":65.97,"body":"episodes where"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":66.09,"endTime":69.09,"body":"Paige gets to talk. You"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":66.09,"endTime":69.09,"body":"say like that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":69.12,"endTime":71.64,"body":"I love it. I love your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":69.12,"endTime":71.64,"body":"input. And I like being able to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":71.64,"endTime":73.47,"body":"riff off of you versus the other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":71.64,"endTime":73.47,"body":"way around."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":73.5,"endTime":75.21,"body":"All right, well, let's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":73.5,"endTime":75.21,"body":"get into it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":75.45,"endTime":77.94,"body":"Let's do it. Okay, so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":75.45,"endTime":77.94,"body":"first of all, tell us where this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":77.94,"endTime":79.2,"body":"came from. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":81.18,"endTime":83.64,"body":"okay, what where the idea"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":81.18,"endTime":83.64,"body":"came from? Yeah, okay. So we got"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":83.64,"endTime":86.61,"body":"a lot of, we got a lot of DMS."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":83.64,"endTime":86.61,"body":"And we've gotten a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":86.61,"endTime":89.58,"body":"in the community that have"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":86.61,"endTime":89.58,"body":"brought up the fact that they're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":89.61,"endTime":92.52,"body":"triggered. And this is for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":89.61,"endTime":92.52,"body":"people who are like in recovery,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":92.55,"endTime":96.84,"body":"their partner is sober. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":92.55,"endTime":96.84,"body":"they're working on, you know,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":96.84,"endTime":100.68,"body":"sobriety and recovery. So we've"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":96.84,"endTime":100.68,"body":"had people reach out to us and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":100.68,"endTime":104.52,"body":"ask us, How do you cope with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":100.68,"endTime":104.52,"body":"these triggers? And that's where"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":104.52,"endTime":106.08,"body":"I got the idea. I made a tick"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":104.52,"endTime":106.08,"body":"tock."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":106.92,"endTime":109.02,"body":"Oh, you did? Yeah. You had"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":106.92,"endTime":109.02,"body":"a really good Tiktok on this."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":109.02,"endTime":109.41,"body":"Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":109.41,"endTime":113.37,"body":"then, and I felt like I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":109.41,"endTime":113.37,"body":"wanted to really elaborate on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":113.37,"endTime":116.19,"body":"it. So that's where this idea"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":113.37,"endTime":116.19,"body":"came back. I was like, I had a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":116.19,"endTime":117.63,"body":"lot to say about this. Behind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":117.63,"endTime":121.71,"body":"the scenes, y'all. Oh, my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":117.63,"endTime":121.71,"body":"God spent hours going through"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":121.71,"endTime":125.01,"body":"this tic tock video, trying to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":121.71,"endTime":125.01,"body":"condense it into just a couple"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":125.01,"endTime":128.37,"body":"of minutes. And I don't even"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":125.01,"endTime":128.37,"body":"know how you finally got it out."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":128.37,"endTime":131.58,"body":"Because you were so frustrated."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":128.37,"endTime":131.58,"body":"Like it's too long. It's too"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":131.58,"endTime":134.79,"body":"much. Should have just been an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":131.58,"endTime":134.79,"body":"episode all along, I guess."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":135.18,"endTime":137.58,"body":"Oh, yeah. Yeah. Cuz I had"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":135.18,"endTime":137.58,"body":"a lot of experience that I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":137.58,"endTime":140.64,"body":"wanted to like, share. And some"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":137.58,"endTime":140.64,"body":"of it was like six minutes long."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":140.91,"endTime":143.55,"body":"And I'm like, no one's watching"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":140.91,"endTime":143.55,"body":"that. No one's gonna watch this."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":143.55,"endTime":146.25,"body":"And then I got it down to like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":143.55,"endTime":146.25,"body":"three minutes. And it's pretty"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":146.25,"endTime":146.73,"body":"still pretty"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":146.73,"endTime":149.37,"body":"long. Yeah. It's really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":146.73,"endTime":149.37,"body":"hard to get the stuff we talked"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":149.37,"endTime":151.2,"body":"about down in like, one minute."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":149.37,"endTime":151.2,"body":"Yeah, but"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":151.2,"endTime":153.36,"body":"then sometimes I'll do a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":151.2,"endTime":153.36,"body":"video and it's like the first"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":153.36,"endTime":155.55,"body":"recording. I'm like, That's it."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":153.36,"endTime":155.55,"body":"That's perfect. I'm letting it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":155.55,"endTime":155.79,"body":"out."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":155.79,"endTime":157.38,"body":"That's the best. Those are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":155.79,"endTime":157.38,"body":"the best. Yeah, whenever you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":157.38,"endTime":158.76,"body":"just like let it out from the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":157.38,"endTime":158.76,"body":"heart."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":158.79,"endTime":162.75,"body":"I did have a lot to say"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":158.79,"endTime":162.75,"body":"about this, though. So you want"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":162.75,"endTime":166.17,"body":"to get started? Yeah, it's good"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":162.75,"endTime":166.17,"body":"to ask you questions like you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":166.17,"endTime":167.25,"body":"the boss. I'm not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":167.25,"endTime":169.68,"body":"the boss of the show."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":167.25,"endTime":169.68,"body":"That's so more this relationship"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":169.68,"endTime":170.16,"body":"is a matter."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":170.91,"endTime":173.94,"body":"That's true. All right."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":170.91,"endTime":173.94,"body":"So what is a trigger? A trigger"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":173.94,"endTime":177.0,"body":"is something that prompts a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":173.94,"endTime":177.0,"body":"strong emotional reaction, often"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":177.0,"endTime":180.45,"body":"related to a past traumatic"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":177.0,"endTime":180.45,"body":"experience. So think of like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":180.66,"endTime":183.66,"body":"thunder, it might be a trigger"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":180.66,"endTime":183.66,"body":"for someone who has experienced"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":183.69,"endTime":186.12,"body":"a traumatic event involving"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":183.69,"endTime":186.12,"body":"their home catching on fire due"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":186.12,"endTime":186.69,"body":"to lightning."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":187.14,"endTime":188.49,"body":"That sounds awfully"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":187.14,"endTime":188.49,"body":"familiar."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":188.52,"endTime":192.54,"body":"Yes, it does. Because we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":188.52,"endTime":192.54,"body":"had in June, yes. Back in June,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":192.54,"endTime":197.19,"body":"our neighbor's house caught on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":192.54,"endTime":197.19,"body":"fire after a storm. So now when"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":197.19,"endTime":199.62,"body":"it storms we do we get pretty"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":197.19,"endTime":199.62,"body":"triggered, our kids get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":199.62,"endTime":203.55,"body":"triggered, triggered, and they"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":199.62,"endTime":203.55,"body":"get a little scared. But this"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":203.55,"endTime":206.97,"body":"triggers like, usually, when we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":203.55,"endTime":206.97,"body":"talk about triggers, or thinking"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":206.97,"endTime":209.34,"body":"about the addict or alcoholics"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":206.97,"endTime":209.34,"body":"trigger,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":209.4,"endTime":211.56,"body":"right, yeah. When in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":209.4,"endTime":211.56,"body":"context of triggers, and we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":211.56,"endTime":214.05,"body":"talking about addiction in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":211.56,"endTime":214.05,"body":"general. That's like the number"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":214.05,"endTime":216.6,"body":"one question I get asked when I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":214.05,"endTime":216.6,"body":"go to treatment centers, like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":216.9,"endTime":219.15,"body":"what are your triggers? And how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":216.9,"endTime":219.15,"body":"you cope with those, but no"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":219.15,"endTime":220.98,"body":"one's really talking about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":219.15,"endTime":220.98,"body":"triggers from the other side of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":220.98,"endTime":221.37,"body":"this?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":221.399,"endTime":226.349,"body":"No. So I didn't know what"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":221.399,"endTime":226.349,"body":"a trigger was until I went to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":226.349,"endTime":229.289,"body":"the family education program at"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":226.349,"endTime":229.289,"body":"your treatment center, which was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":229.289,"endTime":232.679,"body":"only like two days long. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":229.289,"endTime":232.679,"body":"right. So only got two days."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":233.519,"endTime":237.779,"body":"Yes, they did. But it was about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":233.519,"endTime":237.779,"body":"your triggers, and how I needed"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":237.779,"endTime":239.849,"body":"to prepare for you to come home"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":237.779,"endTime":239.849,"body":"with your trigger. And I was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":239.849,"endTime":244.109,"body":"like, what, okay, that's kind of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":239.849,"endTime":244.109,"body":"weird, but whatever. So I didn't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":244.109,"endTime":247.769,"body":"know that I was going to have"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":244.109,"endTime":247.769,"body":"triggers until down the line."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":248.07,"endTime":251.1,"body":"Can I say something"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":248.07,"endTime":251.1,"body":"quickly about family education,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":251.1,"endTime":252.93,"body":"treatment centers and things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":251.1,"endTime":252.93,"body":"like that? Are you about to go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":252.93,"endTime":257.07,"body":"off? Just No, not really, I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":252.93,"endTime":257.07,"body":"gonna do my best not to. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":257.07,"endTime":261.45,"body":"anyway, so treatment centers,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":257.07,"endTime":261.45,"body":"the the treatment industry in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":261.45,"endTime":264.48,"body":"general, I think that this is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":261.45,"endTime":264.48,"body":"really important for spouses"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":264.48,"endTime":268.05,"body":"family members to understand is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":264.48,"endTime":268.05,"body":"that the treatment industry is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":268.05,"endTime":273.06,"body":"geared toward getting your loved"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":268.05,"endTime":273.06,"body":"one sober, the end, they have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":273.36,"endTime":276.66,"body":"very little concern about the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":273.36,"endTime":276.66,"body":"health of the family or the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":276.66,"endTime":280.86,"body":"spouse afterward, they can say"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":276.66,"endTime":280.86,"body":"that they care but oftentimes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":280.86,"endTime":283.05,"body":"what you will find even if like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":280.86,"endTime":283.05,"body":"there's some treatment centers"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":283.05,"endTime":286.23,"body":"that give you access to your,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":283.05,"endTime":286.23,"body":"your loved ones, counselor, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":286.26,"endTime":288.33,"body":"families feel really secure"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":286.26,"endTime":288.33,"body":"about that. In the beginning,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":288.33,"endTime":290.82,"body":"they're like, wow, like this is,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":288.33,"endTime":290.82,"body":"this is great. And some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":290.82,"endTime":293.4,"body":"treatment centers do a pretty"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":290.82,"endTime":293.4,"body":"good job about staying in touch,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":293.67,"endTime":295.68,"body":"letting you know what's going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":293.67,"endTime":295.68,"body":"on, allowing you to express"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":295.68,"endTime":298.29,"body":"concerns that they will in turn,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":295.68,"endTime":298.29,"body":"bring up to your loved one who's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":298.29,"endTime":301.89,"body":"in treatment and work through"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":298.29,"endTime":301.89,"body":"are some things. But inevitably"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":301.89,"endTime":305.22,"body":"what happens is that something"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":301.89,"endTime":305.22,"body":"will occur, the spouse will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":305.22,"endTime":308.67,"body":"reach out. And then you get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":305.22,"endTime":308.67,"body":"crickets or something that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":308.67,"endTime":311.55,"body":"really didn't want to hear come"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":308.67,"endTime":311.55,"body":"back. And we get questions about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":311.55,"endTime":314.82,"body":"that all the time. Like, they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":311.55,"endTime":314.82,"body":"said this and it seems really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":314.82,"endTime":316.53,"body":"like they're not thinking about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":314.82,"endTime":316.53,"body":"me. And I'm like, No, you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":316.53,"endTime":319.68,"body":"right. They're not. But they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":316.53,"endTime":319.68,"body":"paid by insurance companies like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":319.68,"endTime":323.25,"body":"10s of 1000s of dollars to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":319.68,"endTime":323.25,"body":"someone sober. That is their"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":323.25,"endTime":326.82,"body":"focus is to get someone sober"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":323.25,"endTime":326.82,"body":"like they are. While they can be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":326.82,"endTime":329.52,"body":"advocates for spouses, they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":326.82,"endTime":329.52,"body":"very poor ones at best, I would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":329.52,"endTime":332.1,"body":"say, and they're not really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":329.52,"endTime":332.1,"body":"there for you."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":333.12,"endTime":337.08,"body":"They're trying to help us"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":333.12,"endTime":337.08,"body":"help you. In a way I often say"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":337.08,"endTime":341.31,"body":"not enable you like how do we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":337.08,"endTime":341.31,"body":"not enable you? How do we stop"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":341.31,"endTime":343.65,"body":"being codependent? How do we do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":341.31,"endTime":343.65,"body":"things like that, but it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":343.65,"endTime":345.48,"body":"really it's mostly about the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":343.65,"endTime":345.48,"body":"addict. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":345.51,"endTime":347.52,"body":"a lot of the stuff that I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":345.51,"endTime":347.52,"body":"hear about comes from counselors"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":347.52,"endTime":351.06,"body":"like addiction counselors,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":347.52,"endTime":351.06,"body":"lctcs, even some of the the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":351.09,"endTime":353.52,"body":"licensed therapists in these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":351.09,"endTime":353.52,"body":"places makes me want to throw a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":353.52,"endTime":357.42,"body":"chair. Because it's a, it's a,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":353.52,"endTime":357.42,"body":"because I know what it's doing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":357.42,"endTime":359.82,"body":"from the other sides, like they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":357.42,"endTime":359.82,"body":"are concerned with getting the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":359.82,"endTime":362.16,"body":"addict sober. So they're going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":359.82,"endTime":362.16,"body":"to create an environment and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":362.16,"endTime":364.32,"body":"encourage you to get on the same"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":362.16,"endTime":364.32,"body":"page about creating an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":364.32,"endTime":367.29,"body":"environment that makes it as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":364.32,"endTime":367.29,"body":"easy as possible for them,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":367.29,"endTime":370.8,"body":"because that is their job. Part"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":367.29,"endTime":370.8,"body":"of it because I come from kind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":370.8,"endTime":373.38,"body":"of like the roof of school of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":370.8,"endTime":373.38,"body":"accountability is I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":373.38,"endTime":375.51,"body":"believe in that I don't Well,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":373.38,"endTime":375.51,"body":"it's not that I don't believe in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":375.51,"endTime":377.76,"body":"helping people get sober. Like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":375.51,"endTime":377.76,"body":"I think you can support someone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":377.76,"endTime":381.57,"body":"in sobriety. There are limits to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":377.76,"endTime":381.57,"body":"that gray area. And sometimes I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":381.57,"endTime":384.51,"body":"feel like they, they go way too"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":381.57,"endTime":384.51,"body":"far. And they're really not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":384.51,"endTime":387.39,"body":"considering the other person's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":384.51,"endTime":387.39,"body":"needs. And it becomes like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":387.45,"endTime":390.03,"body":"like, as a professional, how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":387.45,"endTime":390.03,"body":"could you provide that advice,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":390.03,"endTime":392.85,"body":"knowing what it's going to do to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":390.03,"endTime":392.85,"body":"them? Like you are creating an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":392.85,"endTime":395.31,"body":"environment where they now feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":392.85,"endTime":395.31,"body":"responsible for their loved ones"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":395.31,"endTime":399.12,"body":"sobriety or you have made them"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":395.31,"endTime":399.12,"body":"like the guardian of it, where"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":399.12,"endTime":401.58,"body":"you've told them like you need"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":399.12,"endTime":401.58,"body":"to breathalyze this person you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":401.58,"endTime":404.16,"body":"need to drug test this person,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":401.58,"endTime":404.16,"body":"you need to ask them questions"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":404.16,"endTime":405.39,"body":"you need, like do know, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":405.39,"endTime":406.71,"body":"know where they're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":405.39,"endTime":406.71,"body":"located. Now,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":406.71,"endTime":409.05,"body":"you've created a role in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":406.71,"endTime":409.05,"body":"the relationship, this really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":409.05,"endTime":412.98,"body":"strange dynamic where the spouse"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":409.05,"endTime":412.98,"body":"is like the caretaker, and which"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":413.01,"endTime":415.8,"body":"further instills exactly the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":413.01,"endTime":415.8,"body":"stuff we talked about trying to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":415.8,"endTime":418.95,"body":"get away from here. Yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":415.8,"endTime":418.95,"body":"So it's I don't know, like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":418.95,"endTime":421.29,"body":"we're not enemies by any means."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":418.95,"endTime":421.29,"body":"But some of the stuff that comes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":421.29,"endTime":424.89,"body":"out of there is detrimental to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":421.29,"endTime":424.89,"body":"spousal recovery."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":425.46,"endTime":428.4,"body":"Yeah. Okay. Thank you for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":425.46,"endTime":428.4,"body":"that. Yeah. All right. So we're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":428.4,"endTime":433.02,"body":"gonna touch on what's going to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":428.4,"endTime":433.02,"body":"trigger you the partner. What"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":433.02,"endTime":436.41,"body":"triggers a partner, whenever"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":433.02,"endTime":436.41,"body":"their partner, their spouse or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":436.41,"endTime":440.73,"body":"partner is actually sober and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":436.41,"endTime":440.73,"body":"working on a recovery. So the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":440.73,"endTime":443.94,"body":"one thing that I hear the most"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":440.73,"endTime":443.94,"body":"is the opening of cans. That's a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":443.94,"endTime":446.85,"body":"big one, people hear a can"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":443.94,"endTime":446.85,"body":"opening it, they equate it to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":446.85,"endTime":450.03,"body":"beer, glasses hitting the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":446.85,"endTime":450.03,"body":"counter, like when you put a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":450.03,"endTime":452.73,"body":"class clown on my grant account."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":450.03,"endTime":452.73,"body":"Yeah, that's, I remember that."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":452.73,"endTime":455.28,"body":"And that's, oh, yeah, I threw"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":452.73,"endTime":455.28,"body":"away all of our shot glasses"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":455.28,"endTime":457.08,"body":"when we moved to this house,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":455.28,"endTime":457.08,"body":"because I was like, I don't like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":457.08,"endTime":459.99,"body":"the sound on counters. And I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":457.08,"endTime":459.99,"body":"thought, you know, we don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":459.99,"endTime":462.72,"body":"really need those. So I'm going"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":459.99,"endTime":462.72,"body":"to trash them. It's true. We"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":462.72,"endTime":465.57,"body":"used to get them at vacation"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":462.72,"endTime":465.57,"body":"spots, too. So I think that we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":465.57,"endTime":470.49,"body":"had some that was like that."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":465.57,"endTime":470.49,"body":"Yeah, yeah. mementos."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":470.969,"endTime":473.639,"body":"I can replace. I'm good"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":470.969,"endTime":473.639,"body":"with that. We do coffee cups"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":473.639,"endTime":474.239,"body":"now. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":475.38,"endTime":477.87,"body":"The sound of a freezer"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":475.38,"endTime":477.87,"body":"door opening the sound of pill"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":477.87,"endTime":482.1,"body":"bottles. Whenever your partner"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":477.87,"endTime":482.1,"body":"runs errands and they take too"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":482.1,"endTime":486.99,"body":"long. ATM withdrawal alerts,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":482.1,"endTime":486.99,"body":"people going to work or dinner"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":487.02,"endTime":491.31,"body":"like work dinners and events."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":487.02,"endTime":491.31,"body":"Certain ringtones you get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":491.31,"endTime":492.48,"body":"triggered by certain ringtones"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":492.51,"endTime":495.03,"body":"get triggered by the phone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":492.51,"endTime":495.03,"body":"in general, I think rings too"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":495.03,"endTime":496.56,"body":"much over it."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":497.04,"endTime":500.34,"body":"Walking into the garage,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":497.04,"endTime":500.34,"body":"maybe your partner's sleeping in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":500.76,"endTime":507.21,"body":"all of these are they we equate"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":500.76,"endTime":507.21,"body":"these to a time when it was very"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":507.21,"endTime":508.05,"body":"uncomfortable?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":508.11,"endTime":511.32,"body":"Yeah, these are reminders"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":508.11,"endTime":511.32,"body":"of behaviors that when these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":511.32,"endTime":515.58,"body":"occurred, typically you knew"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":511.32,"endTime":515.58,"body":"what was going on? And it wasn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":515.58,"endTime":516.0,"body":"good."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":516.059,"endTime":517.949,"body":"Yeah, there was usually"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":516.059,"endTime":517.949,"body":"lies, there were Trump, there"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":517.949,"endTime":520.829,"body":"was trauma, there was yelling,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":517.949,"endTime":520.829,"body":"there was so much going on in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":520.829,"endTime":522.989,"body":"that time. And some people may"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":520.829,"endTime":522.989,"body":"think that we're crazy when we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":522.989,"endTime":526.649,"body":"think of like, Oh, I'm triggered"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":522.989,"endTime":526.649,"body":"by can opening. Like, I haven't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":526.649,"endTime":528.779,"body":"personally been triggered by"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":526.649,"endTime":528.779,"body":"account opening. I mean, it did"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":528.779,"endTime":531.689,"body":"like it would bring back"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":528.779,"endTime":531.689,"body":"memories, but it wasn't a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":531.689,"endTime":534.809,"body":"trigger. But there are a lot of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":531.689,"endTime":534.809,"body":"people who deal with that. And I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":534.809,"endTime":537.899,"body":"completely understand that the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":534.809,"endTime":537.899,"body":"outsiders will look at that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":537.899,"endTime":540.389,"body":"thinking. What's your problem?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":537.899,"endTime":540.389,"body":"Are the big Oh, you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":540.389,"endTime":543.299,"body":"obsessive? A little bit? Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":540.389,"endTime":543.299,"body":"Yeah. But it was a it was about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":543.299,"endTime":546.659,"body":"a time when we were hurt. So you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":543.299,"endTime":546.659,"body":"know, it's like when you smell a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":546.659,"endTime":549.329,"body":"certain scent, and it takes you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":546.659,"endTime":549.329,"body":"back in time. Oh, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":549.33,"endTime":553.29,"body":"man, I smelled curve"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":549.33,"endTime":553.29,"body":"cologne. Remember that? And it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":553.29,"endTime":557.7,"body":"took me it took me back to sixth"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":553.29,"endTime":557.7,"body":"grade. Yeah, immediately. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":557.7,"endTime":560.97,"body":"could like see myself in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":557.7,"endTime":560.97,"body":"hallway. It was everywhere when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":560.97,"endTime":561.9,"body":"we were little kids."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":561.93,"endTime":565.59,"body":"Yeah. And like when I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":561.93,"endTime":565.59,"body":"smell crayons, it takes me back"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":565.59,"endTime":570.6,"body":"to this time when I was sitting"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":565.59,"endTime":570.6,"body":"in front of my door at my house"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":570.6,"endTime":573.72,"body":"and when it was raining, I would"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":570.6,"endTime":573.72,"body":"have this big old bucket of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":573.72,"endTime":577.2,"body":"crayons and I would color so it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":573.72,"endTime":577.2,"body":"just hit me it was a nice time"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":577.2,"endTime":579.24,"body":"you know and the smell of fire"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":577.2,"endTime":579.24,"body":"burning will make you think of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":579.24,"endTime":583.17,"body":"fall and smores sure and being"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":579.24,"endTime":583.17,"body":"outside by the campfire and then"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":583.17,"endTime":585.51,"body":"the smell of pine makes you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":583.17,"endTime":585.51,"body":"think of Christmas like these"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":585.51,"endTime":588.99,"body":"are all you know nice memories"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":585.51,"endTime":588.99,"body":"but triggers. Yeah, they're good"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":588.99,"endTime":592.74,"body":"triggers but the other things"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":588.99,"endTime":592.74,"body":"will take us back to a really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":592.74,"endTime":596.49,"body":"dark time. So you want me to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":592.74,"endTime":596.49,"body":"talk about my triggers. Please"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":596.49,"endTime":600.3,"body":"do tell some stories. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":596.49,"endTime":600.3,"body":"well, pill bottles this Sounds"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":600.3,"endTime":603.33,"body":"of pill bottles can't really get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":600.3,"endTime":603.33,"body":"away from the sounds of pill"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":603.33,"endTime":605.79,"body":"bottles. But, Matt,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":605.82,"endTime":607.74,"body":"I mean, I've got a goal"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":605.82,"endTime":607.74,"body":"not to take any pills at all,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":607.74,"endTime":610.02,"body":"but some stuff you have to take,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":607.74,"endTime":610.02,"body":"right?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":610.14,"endTime":612.24,"body":"Well, you took them a lot"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":610.14,"endTime":612.24,"body":"even in, you know, early"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":612.24,"endTime":614.97,"body":"recovery. So Matt had a back"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":612.24,"endTime":614.97,"body":"injury when he was around 17 or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":614.97,"endTime":620.31,"body":"18 years old. Yeah. And he ended"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":614.97,"endTime":620.31,"body":"up on hydrocodone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":620.34,"endTime":623.55,"body":"pain, boxy, hydrocodone,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":620.34,"endTime":623.55,"body":"Valium, like all kinds of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":623.55,"endTime":626.46,"body":"stuff. Yes. And then like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":623.55,"endTime":626.46,"body":"all of his drugs, choices, its"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":626.46,"endTime":630.93,"body":"main drugs choices were like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":626.46,"endTime":630.93,"body":"all these different pills. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":630.96,"endTime":635.22,"body":"pill bottles were around the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":630.96,"endTime":635.22,"body":"house all the time. And when he"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":635.22,"endTime":640.5,"body":"was in recovery, he would take a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":635.22,"endTime":640.5,"body":"lot of Tylenol or ibuprofen, or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":640.5,"endTime":643.17,"body":"he would have pills and he wears"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":640.5,"endTime":643.17,"body":"a man purse. So if you know"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":643.17,"endTime":646.14,"body":"Matt, he has a man purse. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":643.17,"endTime":646.14,"body":"And he carries it around. And if"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":646.14,"endTime":650.31,"body":"I would pick it up, I would hear"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":646.14,"endTime":650.31,"body":"pills. And all my little leave"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":650.31,"endTime":654.27,"body":"bottles. Having a leaf bottle in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":650.31,"endTime":654.27,"body":"there. Yeah, yeah. So I would"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":654.27,"endTime":656.64,"body":"pick it up and it would take me"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":654.27,"endTime":656.64,"body":"to a time of,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":657.42,"endTime":660.54,"body":"hey, by the way, it's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":657.42,"endTime":660.54,"body":"sling bag. Okay, just, it's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":660.54,"endTime":664.41,"body":"Patagonia Sling Bag. Like, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":660.54,"endTime":664.41,"body":"great. I got the image of like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":664.41,"endTime":666.75,"body":"me walk around like some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":664.41,"endTime":666.75,"body":"designer handbag. It's not it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":666.75,"endTime":667.2,"body":"like a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":667.35,"endTime":670.74,"body":"nice little outdoor like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":667.35,"endTime":670.74,"body":"you do get them. But you get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":670.74,"endTime":673.26,"body":"them for different seasons. Like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":670.74,"endTime":673.26,"body":"he gets different colors for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":673.5,"endTime":677.43,"body":"Fuji about it. And it's the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":673.5,"endTime":677.43,"body":"cutest thing ever. Typically the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":677.43,"endTime":677.91,"body":"woman"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":680.37,"endTime":685.29,"body":"Okay. I'll take it. Okay."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":680.37,"endTime":685.29,"body":"Okay, well, with that it's fine."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":685.29,"endTime":685.77,"body":"Whatever."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":685.92,"endTime":688.35,"body":"Anyway, and you say he"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":685.92,"endTime":688.35,"body":"would take he would, I could"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":688.35,"endTime":690.69,"body":"heal it here, pill bottles, it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":688.35,"endTime":690.69,"body":"would take me back to a time"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":690.69,"endTime":693.42,"body":"whenever, you know, our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":690.69,"endTime":693.42,"body":"relationship was very toxic. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":693.42,"endTime":696.18,"body":"that was a trigger. Running"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":693.42,"endTime":696.18,"body":"errands."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":696.51,"endTime":698.1,"body":"Yeah, that was a big one."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":696.51,"endTime":698.1,"body":"Man."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":698.13,"endTime":700.71,"body":"This one was, this one"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":698.13,"endTime":700.71,"body":"really hit me this one would"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":700.71,"endTime":704.34,"body":"really be like, oh, ooh,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":700.71,"endTime":704.34,"body":"something's going on. When Matt"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":704.34,"endTime":707.67,"body":"was an active addiction, and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":704.34,"endTime":707.67,"body":"obviously, we've talked about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":707.67,"endTime":711.81,"body":"him being a closet addict. So I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":707.67,"endTime":711.81,"body":"didn't really know that he was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":711.84,"endTime":718.44,"body":"on drugs. He lied a lot. But"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":711.84,"endTime":718.44,"body":"every weekend, or even in the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":718.5,"endTime":721.17,"body":"evening times, he was saying I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":718.5,"endTime":721.17,"body":"gotta go run some errands. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":721.17,"endTime":724.89,"body":"gotta go to the store. Matt's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":721.17,"endTime":724.89,"body":"running errands to the store"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":724.89,"endTime":728.82,"body":"wasn't a 30 minute trip to go"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":724.89,"endTime":728.82,"body":"grab milk. Two hours meant Oh,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":728.82,"endTime":733.35,"body":"God, I was gonna say, two hours,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":728.82,"endTime":733.35,"body":"like, minimum half a day,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":733.38,"endTime":736.23,"body":"typically. And I knew that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":733.38,"endTime":736.23,"body":"whenever he said he had to go"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":736.23,"endTime":738.45,"body":"run errands, it was going to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":736.23,"endTime":738.45,"body":"take forever for him to come"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":738.45,"endTime":743.97,"body":"back. And he would he lied to me"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":738.45,"endTime":743.97,"body":"like you were constantly lying"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":743.97,"endTime":748.23,"body":"to me. We would our whole entire"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":743.97,"endTime":748.23,"body":"day would be ruined, you would"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":748.23,"endTime":751.41,"body":"come home being you know, you'd"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":748.23,"endTime":751.41,"body":"be effed up the rest of the day."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":751.41,"endTime":753.78,"body":"Like that's what I equated long"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":751.41,"endTime":753.78,"body":"errands with."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":753.84,"endTime":755.67,"body":"Yeah, like I would get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":753.84,"endTime":755.67,"body":"home and you would have been"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":755.67,"endTime":758.01,"body":"ready for hours, we're late to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":755.67,"endTime":758.01,"body":"what we were going to the days"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":758.01,"endTime":760.62,"body":"basically ruin now. And that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":758.01,"endTime":760.62,"body":"how that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":760.77,"endTime":763.41,"body":"I felt like I was on the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":760.77,"endTime":763.41,"body":"back burner at that time. Right?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":763.44,"endTime":767.49,"body":"Yeah. Because you were you did"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":763.44,"endTime":767.49,"body":"not give a rat's ass about my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":767.49,"endTime":770.55,"body":"feelings. At that point. You"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":767.49,"endTime":770.55,"body":"were like, okay, she'll be fine"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":770.55,"endTime":773.94,"body":"with it, I'll be able to lie my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":770.55,"endTime":773.94,"body":"way out of this like I usually"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":773.94,"endTime":778.95,"body":"do, she'll get over it,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":773.94,"endTime":778.95,"body":"everything will be fine. So in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":779.19,"endTime":782.79,"body":"recovery, whenever he would run"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":779.19,"endTime":782.79,"body":"errands, and he would be gone"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":782.79,"endTime":785.7,"body":"for a long time, it would"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":782.79,"endTime":785.7,"body":"trigger me and I don't have or I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":785.7,"endTime":788.31,"body":"do have the location app on my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":785.7,"endTime":788.31,"body":"phone. But I don't track Matt. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":788.31,"endTime":790.86,"body":"use it for my kids. I didn't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":788.31,"endTime":790.86,"body":"have it back in the day either."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":790.86,"endTime":793.02,"body":"Because for my mental health, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":790.86,"endTime":793.02,"body":"don't want to track my husband."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":793.08,"endTime":794.67,"body":"I'm just throwing that out"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":793.08,"endTime":794.67,"body":"there. I don't want to do it."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":794.67,"endTime":797.25,"body":"Even if it was going to build up"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":794.67,"endTime":797.25,"body":"back trust. It was too much for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":797.25,"endTime":800.61,"body":"me. So I had to build back trust"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":797.25,"endTime":800.61,"body":"in another way. But if he was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":800.61,"endTime":804.78,"body":"gone for long periods of time,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":800.61,"endTime":804.78,"body":"it would make me feel like I was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":804.78,"endTime":807.75,"body":"on the backburner or he was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":804.78,"endTime":807.75,"body":"going to go he was at a drug"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":807.75,"endTime":810.18,"body":"dealers house or maybe he was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":807.75,"endTime":810.18,"body":"going somewhere he wasn't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":810.18,"endTime":813.18,"body":"supposed to be. So it would"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":810.18,"endTime":813.18,"body":"scare me."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":813.209,"endTime":815.549,"body":"Yeah, just doing something"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":813.209,"endTime":815.549,"body":"selfish. Basic, right. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":815.579,"endTime":816.029,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":816.599,"endTime":822.419,"body":"And then ATM alerts."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":816.599,"endTime":822.419,"body":"Whenever I had ATM alerts on my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":822.419,"endTime":822.959,"body":"phone,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":823.08,"endTime":826.5,"body":"yeah, these were set up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":823.08,"endTime":826.5,"body":"over. It took a little while for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":826.5,"endTime":829.17,"body":"us to get there. But you would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":826.5,"endTime":829.17,"body":"log into the account like okay,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":829.17,"endTime":831.63,"body":"we're broke. Why? What happened"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":829.17,"endTime":831.63,"body":"here and she would see all these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":831.63,"endTime":835.44,"body":"ATM withdrawals. And so I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":831.63,"endTime":835.44,"body":"one of your earlier financial"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":835.44,"endTime":837.72,"body":"boundaries, but you set up these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":835.44,"endTime":837.72,"body":"alerts and we had to discuss"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":837.72,"endTime":840.63,"body":"what they were for what it was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":837.72,"endTime":840.63,"body":"about. And it made me more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":840.63,"endTime":844.11,"body":"accountable. To show you what I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":840.63,"endTime":844.11,"body":"was doing with the money. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":844.11,"endTime":846.69,"body":"this is back when I was still"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":844.11,"endTime":846.69,"body":"using Yes. And it was a pain in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":846.69,"endTime":849.57,"body":"the butt for me because I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":846.69,"endTime":849.57,"body":"just trying to get high. But it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":849.57,"endTime":851.76,"body":"was yeah, it made it rather"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":849.57,"endTime":851.76,"body":"difficult, but they would pop"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":851.76,"endTime":856.44,"body":"up. And then yeah, it just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":851.76,"endTime":856.44,"body":"brought that doom of, oh my God,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":856.44,"endTime":857.58,"body":"here goes the money again."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":857.67,"endTime":860.4,"body":"Right? Because we were in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":857.67,"endTime":860.4,"body":"the process of saving for our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":860.4,"endTime":864.15,"body":"house. We wanted to move out and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":860.4,"endTime":864.15,"body":"get our own place. We were"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":864.18,"endTime":871.32,"body":"newlyweds with a new baby. I was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":864.18,"endTime":871.32,"body":"working full time. And our we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":871.32,"endTime":874.86,"body":"were like in negative we didn't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":871.32,"endTime":874.86,"body":"have money. We weren't any"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":874.86,"endTime":876.81,"body":"strangers to overdraft fees,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":874.86,"endTime":876.81,"body":"right. And we've talked about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":876.81,"endTime":880.5,"body":"this before on episodes where we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":876.81,"endTime":880.5,"body":"did not like we had to ask for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":881.31,"endTime":887.19,"body":"extensions on our rent. And it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":881.31,"endTime":887.19,"body":"was when I started to detach"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":887.19,"endTime":890.97,"body":"from you because I was that was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":887.19,"endTime":890.97,"body":"like the last straw for me. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":890.97,"endTime":893.7,"body":"was like financially like I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":890.97,"endTime":893.7,"body":"working my ass off dude and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":893.7,"endTime":895.5,"body":"you're not going to be spending"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":893.7,"endTime":895.5,"body":"all of our money. That's not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":895.5,"endTime":902.43,"body":"okay. So in early recovery, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":895.5,"endTime":902.43,"body":"still had the ATM alerts on my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":902.43,"endTime":906.18,"body":"phone. Yeah. And anytime they"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":902.43,"endTime":906.18,"body":"would pop up, I would be very"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":906.18,"endTime":909.21,"body":"triggered. I was like, Holy"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":906.18,"endTime":909.21,"body":"crap, like, are we going back"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":909.21,"endTime":911.88,"body":"down this road? It would take me"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":909.21,"endTime":911.88,"body":"back to a very, you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":912.15,"endTime":914.76,"body":"dark time you still have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":912.15,"endTime":914.76,"body":"those alerts on your phone to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":914.76,"endTime":916.5,"body":"this day, don't you? I do."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":916.53,"endTime":920.13,"body":"And I get it now too."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":916.53,"endTime":920.13,"body":"Well, I turned on Wi Fi turned"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":920.13,"endTime":924.15,"body":"them off. But I think that we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":920.13,"endTime":924.15,"body":"don't do it anymore. So I don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":924.15,"endTime":924.75,"body":"see it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":924.78,"endTime":927.21,"body":"Man. I think in the last"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":924.78,"endTime":927.21,"body":"10 years, I've probably gotten"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":927.21,"endTime":928.68,"body":"cash out 10 times or less."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":928.71,"endTime":931.56,"body":"Yeah, like in before it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":928.71,"endTime":931.56,"body":"was multiple times a day"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":931.56,"endTime":934.38,"body":"sometimes. Yep. And it was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":931.56,"endTime":934.38,"body":"hundreds of dollars. It was not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":934.38,"endTime":938.25,"body":"like it wasn't like 2020 bucks."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":934.38,"endTime":938.25,"body":"It was excessive. Oh my gosh."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":938.25,"endTime":940.8,"body":"Yeah. My habit near the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":938.25,"endTime":940.8,"body":"end was I mean, there were some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":940.8,"endTime":944.07,"body":"days it was $300 a day to get by"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":940.8,"endTime":944.07,"body":"and then on average, they'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":944.07,"endTime":945.33,"body":"probably 120 bucks."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":945.36,"endTime":948.45,"body":"Yeah, yeah. So like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":945.36,"endTime":948.45,"body":"okay, those were my main"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":948.45,"endTime":952.62,"body":"triggers. And whenever we feel"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":948.45,"endTime":952.62,"body":"triggered, we may want to react."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":952.74,"endTime":956.16,"body":"We go into this like survival"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":952.74,"endTime":956.16,"body":"mode. Our hearts start pounding,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":956.16,"endTime":959.31,"body":"we get sweaty, our brain doesn't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":956.16,"endTime":959.31,"body":"stay present. We may want to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":959.31,"endTime":963.42,"body":"lash out yell blame, tell our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":959.31,"endTime":963.42,"body":"partner how they triggered us."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":964.26,"endTime":968.76,"body":"It releases a hormone a stress"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":964.26,"endTime":968.76,"body":"hormone, cortisol and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":968.76,"endTime":973.62,"body":"adrenaline, which over time can"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":968.76,"endTime":973.62,"body":"cause long term stress, heart"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":973.62,"endTime":976.95,"body":"problems weakened, weakened"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":973.62,"endTime":976.95,"body":"immune system. Like we were just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":976.95,"endTime":979.8,"body":"talking about how you know some"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":976.95,"endTime":979.8,"body":"of the wheelies. And some of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":980.01,"endTime":982.8,"body":"even myself whenever I met was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":980.01,"endTime":982.8,"body":"an act of addiction like our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":982.8,"endTime":984.57,"body":"health suffered"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":984.72,"endTime":987.9,"body":"a lot. Oh, man cortisol"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":984.72,"endTime":987.9,"body":"like, oh my god, it cortisol"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":987.9,"endTime":991.86,"body":"release is terrible for your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":987.9,"endTime":991.86,"body":"health. Yeah, so bad for your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":991.86,"endTime":996.3,"body":"health like it. It affects like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":991.86,"endTime":996.3,"body":"your ability to lose weight. It"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":996.3,"endTime":998.76,"body":"affects like the types of foods"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":996.3,"endTime":998.76,"body":"that you'll eat. Like it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":998.76,"endTime":1001.55,"body":"basically it puts you into like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":998.76,"endTime":1001.55,"body":"like, you know, around the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1001.55,"endTime":1003.23,"body":"holidays, everyone gets"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1001.55,"endTime":1003.23,"body":"stressed. And like everyone puts"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1003.23,"endTime":1005.78,"body":"on about 15 pounds. Like that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1003.23,"endTime":1005.78,"body":"what it's like all the time all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1005.78,"endTime":1007.55,"body":"the time when you've got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1005.78,"endTime":1007.55,"body":"cortisol flowing through your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1007.55,"endTime":1011.24,"body":"system. Always. Yeah, it's bad"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1007.55,"endTime":1011.24,"body":"man. So bad for you. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1011.72,"endTime":1016.58,"body":"So the triggers that we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1011.72,"endTime":1016.58,"body":"have may be caused by our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1016.58,"endTime":1019.7,"body":"partners. Yeah, they are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1016.58,"endTime":1019.7,"body":"typically Yes. But it's our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1019.7,"endTime":1024.65,"body":"responsibility to manage them."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1019.7,"endTime":1024.65,"body":"So like I said, if you were"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1024.65,"endTime":1028.04,"body":"traumatized by a storm, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1024.65,"endTime":1028.04,"body":"cannot completely avoid storms."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1028.069,"endTime":1029.869,"body":"Yeah, you can't write"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1028.069,"endTime":1029.869,"body":"Mother Nature letter like, could"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1029.869,"endTime":1032.899,"body":"you like, really bothers me, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1029.869,"endTime":1032.899,"body":"can really appreciate you, could"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1032.899,"endTime":1033.259,"body":"you please"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1033.26,"endTime":1036.44,"body":"stop, you know, but when"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1033.26,"endTime":1036.44,"body":"we learn to manage them without"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1036.44,"endTime":1038.72,"body":"making it, someone else's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1036.44,"endTime":1038.72,"body":"responsibility, we can level it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1038.72,"endTime":1041.75,"body":"up, like in our recovery, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1038.72,"endTime":1041.75,"body":"know, people are going to open"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1041.75,"endTime":1044.18,"body":"cans, people are going to run"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1041.75,"endTime":1044.18,"body":"errands, people are going to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1044.18,"endTime":1047.63,"body":"open freezer doors people are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1044.18,"endTime":1047.63,"body":"going to sleep in, you know,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1047.66,"endTime":1052.31,"body":"that's just what's going to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1047.66,"endTime":1052.31,"body":"happen. And I can show you and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1052.31,"endTime":1056.6,"body":"teach you how I deal dealt with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1052.31,"endTime":1056.6,"body":"my deal. I dealt with my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1056.6,"endTime":1061.49,"body":"triggers. And I hope that y'all"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1056.6,"endTime":1061.49,"body":"can, you know, utilize it and it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1061.49,"endTime":1063.5,"body":"will be beneficial for you."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1061.49,"endTime":1063.5,"body":"Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1063.65,"endTime":1067.67,"body":"caveat and derailing us"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1063.65,"endTime":1067.67,"body":"for just a moment here. We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1067.67,"endTime":1069.92,"body":"mentioned that this is this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1067.67,"endTime":1069.92,"body":"information is going to be the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1069.92,"endTime":1073.82,"body":"most helpful for anyone who's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1069.92,"endTime":1073.82,"body":"got a partner in early sobriety,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1073.82,"endTime":1076.31,"body":"or even maybe in sobriety, long"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1073.82,"endTime":1076.31,"body":"term sobriety and just haven't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1076.31,"endTime":1078.98,"body":"really talked about the trigger"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1076.31,"endTime":1078.98,"body":"stuff. You haven't talked about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1078.98,"endTime":1081.56,"body":"any of this stuff, maybe like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1078.98,"endTime":1081.56,"body":"the trigger is essentially an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1081.56,"endTime":1084.89,"body":"open wound. It's an open wound"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1081.56,"endTime":1084.89,"body":"that hasn't healed yet. So think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1084.89,"endTime":1087.14,"body":"about having an open wound, like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1084.89,"endTime":1087.14,"body":"I've got one on my hand right"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1087.14,"endTime":1090.02,"body":"now. Anytime that I rub it up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1087.14,"endTime":1090.02,"body":"against anything, I feel it,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1090.35,"endTime":1093.2,"body":"like, that's what it triggers"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1090.35,"endTime":1093.2,"body":"like, it's an emotional wound,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1093.23,"endTime":1097.13,"body":"it's still open, it has not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1093.23,"endTime":1097.13,"body":"healed yet. We can help them"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1097.13,"endTime":1100.7,"body":"heal. But your environment has a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1097.13,"endTime":1100.7,"body":"great deal to do with how it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1100.7,"endTime":1104.33,"body":"heals. If you're if you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1100.7,"endTime":1104.33,"body":"wanting the solution of, hey, my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1104.33,"endTime":1107.69,"body":"partner still is still on drugs"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1104.33,"endTime":1107.69,"body":"today. And they still drink"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1107.69,"endTime":1111.2,"body":"today, and things are still a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1107.69,"endTime":1111.2,"body":"mess today. And you want the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1111.2,"endTime":1114.32,"body":"freedom of healing your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1111.2,"endTime":1114.32,"body":"triggers, it's it's going to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1114.74,"endTime":1118.58,"body":"nearly impossible, if not just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1114.74,"endTime":1118.58,"body":"impossible to do that. Because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1118.76,"endTime":1120.95,"body":"you're still in an environment"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1118.76,"endTime":1120.95,"body":"where you're being cut every"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1120.95,"endTime":1124.97,"body":"day, this stuff is still"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1120.95,"endTime":1124.97,"body":"happening. It's ongoing. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1124.97,"endTime":1127.52,"body":"that's what's so freaking hard."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1124.97,"endTime":1127.52,"body":"And like, let's just talk about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1127.52,"endTime":1129.92,"body":"the elephant in the room here"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1127.52,"endTime":1129.92,"body":"for a moment, let's just kind of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1129.92,"endTime":1135.92,"body":"pull back the curtain. This is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1129.92,"endTime":1135.92,"body":"tough to say but and I'll just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1135.92,"endTime":1138.23,"body":"relate to my own experiences. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1135.92,"endTime":1138.23,"body":"don't ever want to speak like to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1138.23,"endTime":1140.57,"body":"people and give direct advice."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1138.23,"endTime":1140.57,"body":"But this is something that I've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1140.57,"endTime":1143.18,"body":"done. I've been in some really,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1140.57,"endTime":1143.18,"body":"really, really tough situations"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1143.18,"endTime":1147.68,"body":"in my life, some really toxic"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1143.18,"endTime":1147.68,"body":"situations. And I have used just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1147.68,"endTime":1151.22,"body":"about every psychological trick"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1147.68,"endTime":1151.22,"body":"that I know spiritual trick as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1151.22,"endTime":1154.46,"body":"well, to learn how to find peace"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1151.22,"endTime":1154.46,"body":"in a storm, which is ultimately"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1154.46,"endTime":1156.41,"body":"what I've challenged myself to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1154.46,"endTime":1156.41,"body":"do. And sobriety is kind of a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1156.41,"endTime":1160.55,"body":"sobriety is like, inside of my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1156.41,"endTime":1160.55,"body":"head is it's crazy. It's like a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1160.55,"endTime":1163.4,"body":"lightning storm all the time."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1160.55,"endTime":1163.4,"body":"Like it's nuts in here, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1163.4,"endTime":1165.95,"body":"promise you it is if you ever"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1163.4,"endTime":1165.95,"body":"feel crazy, just remember then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1165.95,"endTime":1169.19,"body":"probably 10 times crazier. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1165.95,"endTime":1169.19,"body":"feel good about that, that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1169.19,"endTime":1172.4,"body":"you're not as bad as me. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1169.19,"endTime":1172.4,"body":"I've had to learn how to just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1172.4,"endTime":1175.16,"body":"cope with day to day life. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1172.4,"endTime":1175.16,"body":"took those same principles and I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1175.16,"endTime":1179.42,"body":"started to apply them to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1175.16,"endTime":1179.42,"body":"situations when I was sober. Of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1179.42,"endTime":1181.76,"body":"how Okay, so I'm in a really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1179.42,"endTime":1181.76,"body":"tough situation right now how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1181.76,"endTime":1185.09,"body":"can I find serenity in it right?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1181.76,"endTime":1185.09,"body":"So I practice all the things we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1185.09,"endTime":1188.63,"body":"know how to do. Acceptance is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1185.09,"endTime":1188.63,"body":"probably the highest form of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1188.63,"endTime":1191.45,"body":"spirituality for me. And that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1188.63,"endTime":1191.45,"body":"essentially states that when I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1191.45,"endTime":1195.89,"body":"disturbed by some person, place,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1191.45,"endTime":1195.89,"body":"thing or situation. What I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1195.89,"endTime":1198.95,"body":"really saying is that I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1195.89,"endTime":1198.95,"body":"accept reality for what it truly"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1198.95,"endTime":1201.89,"body":"is. And if I'm going To find"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1198.95,"endTime":1201.89,"body":"happiness, anytime I have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1201.89,"endTime":1206.0,"body":"accept my reality for what it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1201.89,"endTime":1206.0,"body":"really is. Now, I'm not talking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1206.0,"endTime":1208.25,"body":"about someone using drugs and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1206.0,"endTime":1208.25,"body":"physically and emotionally"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1208.25,"endTime":1211.67,"body":"abusing me, I'm not talking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1208.25,"endTime":1211.67,"body":"about that kind of stuff. And it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1211.67,"endTime":1214.97,"body":"was tough for me to even find"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1211.67,"endTime":1214.97,"body":"days where I could get by. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1215.03,"endTime":1218.42,"body":"just what I'm talking about,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1215.03,"endTime":1218.42,"body":"which is some more relationship"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1218.66,"endTime":1222.86,"body":"related stuff. It's incredibly"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1218.66,"endTime":1222.86,"body":"difficult, if not impossible,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1222.86,"endTime":1225.65,"body":"because what's going to happen"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1222.86,"endTime":1225.65,"body":"is that you can spend all day"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1225.65,"endTime":1228.38,"body":"talking yourself off the cliff,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1225.65,"endTime":1228.38,"body":"getting to a place of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1228.38,"endTime":1231.02,"body":"acceptance, you can you can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1228.38,"endTime":1231.02,"body":"pray, you can use mindfulness"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1231.02,"endTime":1233.12,"body":"techniques, you can use"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1231.02,"endTime":1233.12,"body":"grounding techniques, you can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1233.12,"endTime":1235.97,"body":"get yourself in a good place."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1233.12,"endTime":1235.97,"body":"And then what's going to happen"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1235.97,"endTime":1237.59,"body":"the next day is that the trigger"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1235.97,"endTime":1237.59,"body":"is going to happen again,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1237.59,"endTime":1239.81,"body":"because that person is still"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1237.59,"endTime":1239.81,"body":"using, they're still doing all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1239.81,"endTime":1243.26,"body":"this stuff. And so what you'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1239.81,"endTime":1243.26,"body":"find is, at some point, what I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1243.26,"endTime":1246.95,"body":"found was backup, not you, what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1243.26,"endTime":1246.95,"body":"I found was that I ultimately"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1246.95,"endTime":1249.35,"body":"had to make the decision to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1246.95,"endTime":1249.35,"body":"the hell out of that situation,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1249.35,"endTime":1252.29,"body":"or it was never going to stop,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1249.35,"endTime":1252.29,"body":"because I couldn't change other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1252.29,"endTime":1256.94,"body":"people. But I did have a choice"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1252.29,"endTime":1256.94,"body":"in what I exposed myself to. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1256.94,"endTime":1260.36,"body":"had a choice every single day"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1256.94,"endTime":1260.36,"body":"and what I was going to allow in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1260.36,"endTime":1264.44,"body":"my life and what I was going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1260.36,"endTime":1264.44,"body":"allow to affect my piece. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1264.44,"endTime":1268.58,"body":"had a choice in some of that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1264.44,"endTime":1268.58,"body":"stuff. And like I hate to tell"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1268.58,"endTime":1272.99,"body":"people this, but it's it's a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1268.58,"endTime":1272.99,"body":"fact is that this relationship"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1272.99,"endTime":1275.6,"body":"if it doesn't work out, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1272.99,"endTime":1275.6,"body":"won't be because you didn't try."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1275.63,"endTime":1279.08,"body":"Yeah, it's not all up to you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1275.63,"endTime":1279.08,"body":"It's not, it's not all up to the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1279.08,"endTime":1282.8,"body":"listener who wants someone to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1279.08,"endTime":1282.8,"body":"get sober, the larger burden is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1282.8,"endTime":1286.94,"body":"on them to get sober. The fact"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1282.8,"endTime":1286.94,"body":"matters, and most people don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1286.94,"endTime":1289.46,"body":"do it, they just don't get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1286.94,"endTime":1289.46,"body":"sober. They either don't want to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1289.46,"endTime":1291.65,"body":"see that they have a problem, or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1289.46,"endTime":1291.65,"body":"they see they have a problem."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1291.65,"endTime":1294.86,"body":"But they're convinced nothing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1291.65,"endTime":1294.86,"body":"will work for them. And maybe"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1294.86,"endTime":1297.38,"body":"they'll try to control it in a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1294.86,"endTime":1297.38,"body":"million different ways. But it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1297.38,"endTime":1300.41,"body":"a process of trial and error"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1297.38,"endTime":1300.41,"body":"that could take decades before"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1300.41,"endTime":1304.52,"body":"they finally see. Okay, I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1300.41,"endTime":1304.52,"body":"I really do need to stop and get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1304.52,"endTime":1307.43,"body":"serious about this. But in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1304.52,"endTime":1307.43,"body":"meantime, you're going to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1307.43,"endTime":1311.18,"body":"exposed to this stuff day in day"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1307.43,"endTime":1311.18,"body":"out every single day. So you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1311.18,"endTime":1313.25,"body":"might have a couple good days,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1311.18,"endTime":1313.25,"body":"but it's coming back. If you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1313.25,"endTime":1315.38,"body":"still in that environment. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1313.25,"endTime":1315.38,"body":"it's really hard, if not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1315.38,"endTime":1317.9,"body":"impossible to heal in the same"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1315.38,"endTime":1317.9,"body":"environment that got you sick."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1318.47,"endTime":1321.32,"body":"So I just want before we go any"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1318.47,"endTime":1321.32,"body":"further for people that are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1321.32,"endTime":1324.62,"body":"like, Okay, what's the answer to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1321.32,"endTime":1324.62,"body":"be happy while he's still"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1324.62,"endTime":1327.98,"body":"drinking and still emotionally"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1324.62,"endTime":1327.98,"body":"abusive, and he's using drugs"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1327.98,"endTime":1331.7,"body":"and the ATM, the money's gone,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1327.98,"endTime":1331.7,"body":"like, That situation is not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1331.7,"endTime":1334.34,"body":"going to get a whole hell of a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1331.7,"endTime":1334.34,"body":"lot better while you're inside"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1334.34,"endTime":1337.97,"body":"of it. 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And we've even"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1340.04,"endTime":1341.84,"body":"covered some mindfulness"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1340.04,"endTime":1341.84,"body":"techniques and some of our early"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1341.84,"endTime":1344.84,"body":"episodes about spirituality and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1341.84,"endTime":1344.84,"body":"some other things that that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1344.84,"endTime":1348.05,"body":"could be helpful to you like I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1344.84,"endTime":1348.05,"body":"have found, I have found"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1348.05,"endTime":1350.72,"body":"gratitude to be an extremely"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1348.05,"endTime":1350.72,"body":"effective way to get me out of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1350.72,"endTime":1354.14,"body":"some funks when people are not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1350.72,"endTime":1354.14,"body":"not acting right, when they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1354.44,"endTime":1359.33,"body":"not treating me right. 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As long as I allow"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1369.05,"endTime":1373.1,"body":"them to even have access to me."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1373.37,"endTime":1375.71,"body":"I'm going to keep getting the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1373.37,"endTime":1375.71,"body":"same thing, right? Like it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1375.71,"endTime":1377.84,"body":"unlikely that some magical"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1375.71,"endTime":1377.84,"body":"moments going to occur where"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1377.84,"endTime":1381.05,"body":"they just go, Oh, hey, I've been"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1377.84,"endTime":1381.05,"body":"treating you poorly. We should I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1381.05,"endTime":1384.53,"body":"should stop doing that. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1381.05,"endTime":1384.53,"body":"Some people do it like I did"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1384.53,"endTime":1388.16,"body":"that. 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But if you're out of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1506.09,"endTime":1509.06,"body":"it and you hear the sound of a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1506.09,"endTime":1509.06,"body":"Ken opening, it's going to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1509.06,"endTime":1511.97,"body":"probably be a sparkling water so"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1509.06,"endTime":1511.97,"body":"you want to look at the reality"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1511.97,"endTime":1514.82,"body":"of that situation it doesn't the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1511.97,"endTime":1514.82,"body":"abuse is not going to go along"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1514.82,"endTime":1515.63,"body":"with that. Yeah, like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1515.63,"endTime":1518.21,"body":"like all the like, your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1515.63,"endTime":1518.21,"body":"feelings around this are valid."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1518.51,"endTime":1521.72,"body":"Like even today with Paige gets"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1518.51,"endTime":1521.72,"body":"upset about like an ATM"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1521.72,"endTime":1525.77,"body":"withdrawal alert. Man, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1521.72,"endTime":1525.77,"body":"completely get why. Yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1525.77,"endTime":1529.82,"body":"a valid feeling. Because for so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1525.77,"endTime":1529.82,"body":"long this happened. But now it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1529.91,"endTime":1532.88,"body":"the ball is more in your court"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1529.91,"endTime":1532.88,"body":"than it is in mine. Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1532.88,"endTime":1535.52,"body":"it's more your responsibility to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1532.88,"endTime":1535.52,"body":"learn how to manage your piece."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1535.55,"endTime":1537.98,"body":"Yep. Than it is my job to change"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1535.55,"endTime":1537.98,"body":"that."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1538.01,"endTime":1538.85,"body":"Exactly. You know, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1538.85,"endTime":1541.31,"body":"can certainly help. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1538.85,"endTime":1541.31,"body":"let's say we're still in it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1541.37,"endTime":1543.95,"body":"Right? The responsibility is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1541.37,"endTime":1543.95,"body":"more on me. And you have little"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1543.95,"endTime":1546.53,"body":"to no control. Yeah, you've got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1543.95,"endTime":1546.53,"body":"to play mind games with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1546.53,"endTime":1549.14,"body":"yourself. You've got to get,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1546.53,"endTime":1549.14,"body":"you've got to work really,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1549.14,"endTime":1552.17,"body":"really, really hard to find"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1549.14,"endTime":1552.17,"body":"peace in the storm. Yep. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1552.2,"endTime":1555.14,"body":"It's damn near impossible. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1552.2,"endTime":1555.14,"body":"what I'm saying is that, for me,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1555.14,"endTime":1557.06,"body":"anyway, it's more trouble than"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1555.14,"endTime":1557.06,"body":"it was worth."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1557.09,"endTime":1560.93,"body":"Right. Right. Okay, so I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1557.09,"endTime":1560.93,"body":"want to talk about what to do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1560.96,"endTime":1563.48,"body":"whenever you do feel like you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1560.96,"endTime":1563.48,"body":"have that trigger. Come on. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1563.48,"endTime":1565.88,"body":"I'm going to say what I did in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1563.48,"endTime":1565.88,"body":"my experience, and what has"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1565.88,"endTime":1568.16,"body":"helped me throughout the years."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1565.88,"endTime":1568.16,"body":"Yeah. So once you feel that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1568.16,"endTime":1570.17,"body":"trigger, take a deep breath,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1568.16,"endTime":1570.17,"body":"it's going to regulate your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1570.17,"endTime":1573.2,"body":"nervous system. It'll help"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1570.17,"endTime":1573.2,"body":"reduce the levels of the stress"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1573.2,"endTime":1576.26,"body":"hormones that we talked about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1573.2,"endTime":1576.26,"body":"earlier. And your body and when"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1576.26,"endTime":1578.63,"body":"you're stressed or you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1576.26,"endTime":1578.63,"body":"anxious, your body releases"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1578.63,"endTime":1581.45,"body":"these hormones, and the deep"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1578.63,"endTime":1581.45,"body":"breathing can help counter"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1581.66,"endTime":1584.03,"body":"counteract this response."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1584.21,"endTime":1587.0,"body":"Yeah, man deep breathing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1584.21,"endTime":1587.0,"body":"like the oh my gosh, flow of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1587.0,"endTime":1590.78,"body":"oxygen to your brain like like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1587.0,"endTime":1590.78,"body":"do I do these big four second in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1591.14,"endTime":1595.64,"body":"four second, hold four seconds"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1591.14,"endTime":1595.64,"body":"out. And I do that, at minimum"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1595.73,"endTime":1598.55,"body":"six times. But as many times as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1595.73,"endTime":1598.55,"body":"I need to start to feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1598.55,"endTime":1599.18,"body":"regulated?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1599.21,"endTime":1601.34,"body":"Yes. It starts to feel"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1599.21,"endTime":1601.34,"body":"peaceful. It brings you to the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1601.34,"endTime":1604.04,"body":"present moment. Yeah. So because"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1601.34,"endTime":1604.04,"body":"what triggers do, it takes you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1604.04,"endTime":1607.25,"body":"to a time another time, right?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1604.04,"endTime":1607.25,"body":"It takes your body to another"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1607.25,"endTime":1609.92,"body":"time. So what do you breathe,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1607.25,"endTime":1609.92,"body":"you focus on that breath, it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1609.92,"endTime":1612.95,"body":"going to bring you more back to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1609.92,"endTime":1612.95,"body":"the present. And that's what's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1613.28,"endTime":1617.45,"body":"so important. And it seems so"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1613.28,"endTime":1617.45,"body":"simple, but it's like, it's it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1617.45,"endTime":1619.55,"body":"incredible, the breathing"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1617.45,"endTime":1619.55,"body":"techniques really worked for me."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1619.94,"endTime":1623.03,"body":"Now, the next part will be if"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1619.94,"endTime":1623.03,"body":"you feel comfortable bringing it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1623.03,"endTime":1625.55,"body":"up to your partner, like we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1623.03,"endTime":1625.55,"body":"said, If this is your sober"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1625.55,"endTime":1628.85,"body":"partner, approach the subject"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1625.55,"endTime":1628.85,"body":"from a non judgmental, calm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1628.85,"endTime":1632.03,"body":"manner. Remember, this is about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1628.85,"endTime":1632.03,"body":"how you're feeling not about how"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1632.03,"endTime":1635.3,"body":"your partner in what they did to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1632.03,"endTime":1635.3,"body":"cause the the trigger. This is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1635.3,"endTime":1639.05,"body":"where healthy communication"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1635.3,"endTime":1639.05,"body":"comes into play. Oh, yeah. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1639.08,"endTime":1642.62,"body":"when I know that a lot of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1639.08,"endTime":1642.62,"body":"people, because I know how I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1642.62,"endTime":1645.14,"body":"felt when I was triggered, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1642.62,"endTime":1645.14,"body":"would want to respond in a way"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1645.14,"endTime":1648.56,"body":"like in a blame full way to say,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1645.14,"endTime":1648.56,"body":"look, would you you know, look"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1648.56,"endTime":1650.9,"body":"at your dealings, like would you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1648.56,"endTime":1650.9,"body":"did you I just mean, how dare"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1650.9,"endTime":1654.02,"body":"you make me feel this way. But I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1650.9,"endTime":1654.02,"body":"didn't do that. Matt. And I had"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1654.02,"endTime":1655.88,"body":"a discussion about this."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1654.02,"endTime":1655.88,"body":"Recently, I asked you I was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1655.88,"endTime":1659.39,"body":"like, Did I ever come at you?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1655.88,"endTime":1659.39,"body":"Because I felt like I didn't I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1659.39,"endTime":1662.36,"body":"know that I might have wanted to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1659.39,"endTime":1662.36,"body":"come at you. But I don't think I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1662.36,"endTime":1662.84,"body":"did."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1662.87,"endTime":1665.27,"body":"No. Okay. No, you didn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1662.87,"endTime":1665.27,"body":"like come in like a spider"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1665.27,"endTime":1668.96,"body":"monkey. Like no, like, not with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1665.27,"endTime":1668.96,"body":"my trigger also, like screaming"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1668.96,"endTime":1669.89,"body":"anything like that, right?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1669.89,"endTime":1672.32,"body":"Because I knew that you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1669.89,"endTime":1672.32,"body":"were in a place of trying to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1672.32,"endTime":1676.04,"body":"build back trust. So I have to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1672.32,"endTime":1676.04,"body":"give that to you. So whenever I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1676.04,"endTime":1677.87,"body":"would have it, I would take that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1676.04,"endTime":1677.87,"body":"moment. Take the breath, I'd"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1677.87,"endTime":1680.06,"body":"call Matt and I'd say something"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1677.87,"endTime":1680.06,"body":"along the lines of like, Hey, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1680.06,"endTime":1681.8,"body":"saw you took money out of the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1680.06,"endTime":1681.8,"body":"account, you know, what's this"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1681.8,"endTime":1685.04,"body":"for? And he would tell me"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1681.8,"endTime":1685.04,"body":"specifically what it says. And I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1685.04,"endTime":1688.52,"body":"would be like, Okay, this is a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1685.04,"endTime":1688.52,"body":"trigger for me. And I just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1688.52,"endTime":1693.17,"body":"wanted to let you know how I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1688.52,"endTime":1693.17,"body":"feel. And he would, we would"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1693.17,"endTime":1695.84,"body":"like talk it out. And he would"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1693.17,"endTime":1695.84,"body":"just let me know, it's okay."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1695.84,"endTime":1698.84,"body":"Sometimes we would laugh about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1695.84,"endTime":1698.84,"body":"it too. You know, we would kind"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1698.84,"endTime":1701.6,"body":"of go back and be like, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1698.84,"endTime":1701.6,"body":"that's funny. You're triggered"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1701.6,"endTime":1704.18,"body":"about this. But I mean, I'm here"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1701.6,"endTime":1704.18,"body":"for you. I understand it, you'd"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1704.18,"endTime":1707.9,"body":"give me space? Or I would laugh"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1704.18,"endTime":1707.9,"body":"about it. You know? Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1707.9,"endTime":1708.95,"body":"don't think I ever made"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1707.9,"endTime":1708.95,"body":"funny. No,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1710.0,"endTime":1712.07,"body":"no, no, no, no, but I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1710.0,"endTime":1712.07,"body":"would laugh about it. Like, oh"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1712.07,"endTime":1714.83,"body":"my gosh, this is silly. But then"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1712.07,"endTime":1714.83,"body":"I realized that we would talk it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1714.83,"endTime":1718.1,"body":"out. And it's just how we would"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1714.83,"endTime":1718.1,"body":"communicate. He would always"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1718.1,"endTime":1722.66,"body":"give me space because he knew"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1718.1,"endTime":1722.66,"body":"that it was earned distrust."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1722.72,"endTime":1728.96,"body":"Yes. Like, did you stop getting"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1722.72,"endTime":1728.96,"body":"money out of the ATM? No, not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1728.96,"endTime":1731.0,"body":"totally. No. Did you stop"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1728.96,"endTime":1731.0,"body":"running errands?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1731.03,"endTime":1731.99,"body":"No. So gotta do that."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1732.02,"endTime":1734.03,"body":"Did you stop taking"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1732.02,"endTime":1734.03,"body":"Tylenol? Because it was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1734.03,"endTime":1736.58,"body":"triggering? No, I'm still gonna"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1734.03,"endTime":1736.58,"body":"do that some time. Right. So he"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1736.58,"endTime":1740.09,"body":"notifies me before he gets money"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1736.58,"endTime":1740.09,"body":"out. Like he'll discuss the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1740.09,"endTime":1743.72,"body":"length of the errands. Now if"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1740.09,"endTime":1743.72,"body":"he's going somewhere, and I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1743.72,"endTime":1745.79,"body":"don't fault like I said, I don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1743.72,"endTime":1745.79,"body":"follow him on an app or anything"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1745.79,"endTime":1751.43,"body":"like that. But we have open"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1745.79,"endTime":1751.43,"body":"communication and we don't judge"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1751.43,"endTime":1756.11,"body":"each other. So what would you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1751.43,"endTime":1756.11,"body":"say to the addict partner? How"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1756.11,"endTime":1759.77,"body":"would you tell them to react to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1756.11,"endTime":1759.77,"body":"somebody who to their partner"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1759.77,"endTime":1760.76,"body":"who brings up a trigger?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1760.79,"endTime":1763.28,"body":"This comes up all the time"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1760.79,"endTime":1763.28,"body":"with people that I'm working"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1763.28,"endTime":1766.82,"body":"with in early sobriety. I heard"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1763.28,"endTime":1766.82,"body":"it first. I'm like, again, like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1766.82,"endTime":1769.7,"body":"I'm not some kind of like genius"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1766.82,"endTime":1769.7,"body":"to figure this out on my own. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1769.7,"endTime":1773.18,"body":"heard it from somebody when I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1769.7,"endTime":1773.18,"body":"was in treatment. He was talking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1773.18,"endTime":1777.56,"body":"about triggers and things that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1773.18,"endTime":1777.56,"body":"happened. And he he coined this,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1777.56,"endTime":1781.91,"body":"this, this phrase earned"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1777.56,"endTime":1781.91,"body":"distrust and that there's earned"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1781.94,"endTime":1786.14,"body":"distrust and that the reason"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1781.94,"endTime":1786.14,"body":"that you don't have any trust"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1786.2,"endTime":1788.81,"body":"between you and your partner is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1786.2,"endTime":1788.81,"body":"because you earned it you earned"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1788.81,"endTime":1792.59,"body":"that distrust. And now the balls"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1788.81,"endTime":1792.59,"body":"in your court learn how to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1792.59,"endTime":1797.48,"body":"manage yourself out of that. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1792.59,"endTime":1797.48,"body":"so I remember early on maybe"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1797.48,"endTime":1800.0,"body":"even day one I came out and I'd"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1797.48,"endTime":1800.0,"body":"let you know that like you can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1800.0,"endTime":1803.96,"body":"Feel however you need to feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1800.0,"endTime":1803.96,"body":"about my recovery, and the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1803.96,"endTime":1806.99,"body":"triggers that will pop up and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1803.96,"endTime":1806.99,"body":"things that will happen and I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1806.99,"endTime":1810.2,"body":"always held space for you to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1806.99,"endTime":1810.2,"body":"feel however you needed to feel."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1810.59,"endTime":1813.17,"body":"Even if you jumped on me like I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1810.59,"endTime":1813.17,"body":"remember there was, I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1813.17,"endTime":1816.35,"body":"maybe one of the earlier ATM"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1813.17,"endTime":1816.35,"body":"withdrawals, like you had the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1816.35,"endTime":1818.96,"body":"alert and you let me know like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1816.35,"endTime":1818.96,"body":"I think he even said like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1818.96,"endTime":1822.08,"body":"that's a major trigger for me,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1818.96,"endTime":1822.08,"body":"like I saw this. And as I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1822.08,"endTime":1825.47,"body":"hearing it, and you weren't, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1822.08,"endTime":1825.47,"body":"weren't like being aggressive,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1825.47,"endTime":1827.18,"body":"but I could hear your tone in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1825.47,"endTime":1827.18,"body":"your voice like you were"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1827.18,"endTime":1829.43,"body":"definitely hurt. And you were"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1827.18,"endTime":1829.43,"body":"coming at me from a place of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1829.43,"endTime":1834.38,"body":"stress and anxiety and I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1829.43,"endTime":1834.38,"body":"hearing it and like my you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1834.98,"endTime":1838.55,"body":"just don't fight back like don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1834.98,"endTime":1838.55,"body":"like I know you'll you'll want"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1838.55,"endTime":1840.83,"body":"to defend yourself but do your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1838.55,"endTime":1840.83,"body":"best just to sit there and just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1840.83,"endTime":1845.09,"body":"let them listen just listen, let"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1840.83,"endTime":1845.09,"body":"them talk and hear them out. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1845.09,"endTime":1847.25,"body":"I would always just say I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1845.09,"endTime":1847.25,"body":"completely understand why you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1847.25,"endTime":1850.61,"body":"would feel that way I totally"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1847.25,"endTime":1850.61,"body":"get it because for X amount of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1850.61,"endTime":1854.03,"body":"years I was doing this and then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1850.61,"endTime":1854.03,"body":"lying you about it but this time"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1854.03,"endTime":1856.97,"body":"I'm buying a pair of Yeezys or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1854.03,"endTime":1856.97,"body":"whatever I'd be doing buying a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1856.97,"endTime":1859.4,"body":"pair of Jordans or sneakers or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1856.97,"endTime":1859.4,"body":"something like that you know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1859.4,"endTime":1864.41,"body":"next addiction Yeah, so I would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1859.4,"endTime":1864.41,"body":"be doing something like that and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1864.41,"endTime":1866.93,"body":"then I would say so in order to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1864.41,"endTime":1866.93,"body":"make this easier I will let you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1866.93,"endTime":1869.63,"body":"know long before I make this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1866.93,"endTime":1869.63,"body":"purchase and then I'll let you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1869.63,"endTime":1873.41,"body":"know before I get the money out"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1869.63,"endTime":1873.41,"body":"so that you're not just you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1873.41,"endTime":1876.35,"body":"know, like I don't know writing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1873.41,"endTime":1876.35,"body":"an episode hanging out around"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1876.35,"endTime":1878.69,"body":"the house or running your own"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1876.35,"endTime":1878.69,"body":"errands and all sudden you get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1878.69,"endTime":1883.52,"body":"this alert that takes you back"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1878.69,"endTime":1883.52,"body":"to 2010 it's like oh my god here"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1883.52,"endTime":1887.24,"body":"we go again. This way at least"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1883.52,"endTime":1887.24,"body":"you'll know and I will also come"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1887.24,"endTime":1891.38,"body":"home with shoes to show you like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1887.24,"endTime":1891.38,"body":"where the money really are. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1891.38,"endTime":1893.81,"body":"you'll say those are ugly Why'd"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1891.38,"endTime":1893.81,"body":"you buy those but anyway it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1894.53,"endTime":1897.35,"body":"communication around it and just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1894.53,"endTime":1897.35,"body":"holding space for people's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1897.38,"endTime":1899.87,"body":"emotions I think is the most"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1897.38,"endTime":1899.87,"body":"important thing like even"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1899.87,"endTime":1903.53,"body":"Aaron's there have been like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1899.87,"endTime":1903.53,"body":"there was one not long ago where"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1904.01,"endTime":1908.45,"body":"I had to get Nicorette gum. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1904.01,"endTime":1908.45,"body":"that's like something that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1908.48,"endTime":1911.6,"body":"every so often like she's so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1908.48,"endTime":1911.6,"body":"yeah, it's like my thing like I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1911.6,"endTime":1913.97,"body":"have two biases. One of them is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1911.6,"endTime":1913.97,"body":"like Nicorette gum and the other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1913.97,"endTime":1919.94,"body":"one is black coffee. Yeah. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1913.97,"endTime":1919.94,"body":"had to go get Nicorette gum, we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1919.94,"endTime":1924.08,"body":"had a storm, and knocked the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1919.94,"endTime":1924.08,"body":"power out the drugstore. So I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1924.08,"endTime":1926.96,"body":"like, Oh, I gotta go with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1924.08,"endTime":1926.96,"body":"another one. And I, I used to do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1926.96,"endTime":1928.97,"body":"this crap all the time when I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1926.96,"endTime":1928.97,"body":"was using like, oh, well, they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1928.97,"endTime":1931.19,"body":"didn't have it. So I had to go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1928.97,"endTime":1931.19,"body":"to a different one. I had to go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1931.19,"endTime":1933.56,"body":"to like three places to find it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1931.19,"endTime":1933.56,"body":"And I was calling you each time"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1933.56,"endTime":1937.07,"body":"and I was laughing. I'm like, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1933.56,"endTime":1937.07,"body":"know how this sounds like I know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1937.07,"endTime":1939.8,"body":"exactly. I use like, I totally"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1937.07,"endTime":1939.8,"body":"get it. If you're upset about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1939.8,"endTime":1942.35,"body":"this. If you got your doubts,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1939.8,"endTime":1942.35,"body":"yeah, I completely understand"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1942.35,"endTime":1945.92,"body":"where you're at. And then once I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1942.35,"endTime":1945.92,"body":"give you once I've validated I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1945.92,"endTime":1949.04,"body":"let you know that it's okay to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1945.92,"endTime":1949.04,"body":"feel the way you feel. Then you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1949.04,"endTime":1952.49,"body":"usually laugh about it. You're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1949.04,"endTime":1952.49,"body":"like, Yeah, this is this is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1952.49,"endTime":1954.77,"body":"tough, not gonna lie. So it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1952.49,"endTime":1954.77,"body":"easier for me to process a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1954.77,"endTime":1956.93,"body":"little weird for me. And then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1954.77,"endTime":1956.93,"body":"we're like, we kind of joke"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1956.93,"endTime":1959.06,"body":"about it, then. Yeah. And then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1956.93,"endTime":1959.06,"body":"it's like, okay, well, I'll be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1959.06,"endTime":1961.97,"body":"home in you know, 1015 minutes,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1959.06,"endTime":1961.97,"body":"right? Stay in touch with you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1961.97,"endTime":1965.21,"body":"And communication helps a ton"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1961.97,"endTime":1965.21,"body":"around this stuff. But you've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1965.21,"endTime":1968.09,"body":"got to understand that if this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1965.21,"endTime":1968.09,"body":"trust exists, you don't get to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1968.09,"endTime":1970.49,"body":"be defensive over it. You get to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1968.09,"endTime":1970.49,"body":"sit there and just listen to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1970.49,"endTime":1972.92,"body":"them. Let them process it. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1970.49,"endTime":1972.92,"body":"have this come up with people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1972.92,"endTime":1975.41,"body":"that I work with too. They'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1972.92,"endTime":1975.41,"body":"call me and it's like, Hey, man,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1975.41,"endTime":1978.32,"body":"I've been sober for nine months,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1975.41,"endTime":1978.32,"body":"I've been working really hard."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1978.32,"endTime":1980.81,"body":"I've been doing everything I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1978.32,"endTime":1980.81,"body":"supposed to be doing. And my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1980.81,"endTime":1985.01,"body":"wife jumped on me today for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1980.81,"endTime":1985.01,"body":"there was a guy who was like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1985.04,"endTime":1987.17,"body":"wanting to make a purchase of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1985.04,"endTime":1987.17,"body":"some kind. I forgot what it was,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1987.17,"endTime":1990.29,"body":"but didn't really discuss it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1987.17,"endTime":1990.29,"body":"with her. And he didn't make the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1990.29,"endTime":1992.99,"body":"purchase. But he was like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1990.29,"endTime":1992.99,"body":"basically on the fence about he"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1992.99,"endTime":1994.85,"body":"had already done all the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1992.99,"endTime":1994.85,"body":"research. He just needed her to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1994.85,"endTime":1998.12,"body":"say okay, yeah. And it was a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1994.85,"endTime":1998.12,"body":"huge trigger for her because in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1998.12,"endTime":2000.28,"body":"her in her mind, it was like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1998.12,"endTime":2000.28,"body":"this is what you did when we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2000.28,"endTime":2002.62,"body":"were in you were using it was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2000.28,"endTime":2002.62,"body":"like the selfishness you never"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2002.62,"endTime":2005.56,"body":"involved in me even even your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2002.62,"endTime":2005.56,"body":"thoughts leading up to it. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2005.56,"endTime":2008.05,"body":"would just come to me and say"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2005.56,"endTime":2008.05,"body":"I'm doing this thing. And it was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2008.05,"endTime":2010.12,"body":"triggering. He's like, Well, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2008.05,"endTime":2010.12,"body":"think at this point, I've urns"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2010.12,"endTime":2013.63,"body":"back then I was like, oh,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2010.12,"endTime":2013.63,"body":"timeout, hell, no, no, like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2013.66,"endTime":2016.78,"body":"they could be there for years."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2013.66,"endTime":2016.78,"body":"It might always be there. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2016.81,"endTime":2019.36,"body":"but you have to understand why"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2016.81,"endTime":2019.36,"body":"it is. And so your part in all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2019.36,"endTime":2022.63,"body":"of this is just to let them know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2019.36,"endTime":2022.63,"body":"that you understand why that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2022.63,"endTime":2025.18,"body":"exists. And then if you really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2022.63,"endTime":2025.18,"body":"want to be a gentleman about it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2025.18,"endTime":2028.18,"body":"go the extra mile and how about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2025.18,"endTime":2028.18,"body":"have a have a you know, have a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2028.21,"endTime":2031.21,"body":"healthy communication or have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2028.21,"endTime":2031.21,"body":"healthy communication around?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2031.63,"endTime":2033.91,"body":"How can I make that easier for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2031.63,"endTime":2033.91,"body":"them? How can I involve them"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2033.91,"endTime":2036.94,"body":"more in my thoughts and in sort"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2033.91,"endTime":2036.94,"body":"of eliminated in the first place"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2036.94,"endTime":2039.4,"body":"so you can nip it in the bud"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2036.94,"endTime":2039.4,"body":"before it ever gets there? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2039.52,"endTime":2041.71,"body":"and I think that that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2039.52,"endTime":2041.71,"body":"something that we've done, like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2041.71,"endTime":2044.47,"body":"now that's what it looks like."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2041.71,"endTime":2044.47,"body":"Yeah, like the ATM withdrawals"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2044.47,"endTime":2047.2,"body":"like even like, like sleeping in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2044.47,"endTime":2047.2,"body":"like I don't do it a whole heck"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2047.2,"endTime":2049.9,"body":"of a lot. But I know that was a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2047.2,"endTime":2049.9,"body":"big one for us that sleep till"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2049.9,"endTime":2052.9,"body":"noon or one o'clock, three"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2049.9,"endTime":2052.9,"body":"o'clock somedays. And that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2052.96,"endTime":2056.83,"body":"such a waste of time, but right"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2052.96,"endTime":2056.83,"body":"now it's like you let me do it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2056.98,"endTime":2059.8,"body":"I think early on you probably"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2056.98,"endTime":2059.8,"body":"felt really weird about it and,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2060.13,"endTime":2062.11,"body":"and but now it's like I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2060.13,"endTime":2062.11,"body":"you're like okay, you need to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2062.11,"endTime":2063.52,"body":"sleep like it's been really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2062.11,"endTime":2063.52,"body":"hard."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2063.61,"endTime":2066.28,"body":"Even think much about it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2063.61,"endTime":2066.28,"body":"anymore. Yeah, but it's to a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2066.28,"endTime":2067.57,"body":"point where the trust is built"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2067.6,"endTime":2070.87,"body":"I think that you work"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2067.6,"endTime":2070.87,"body":"really hard at something is like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2071.26,"endTime":2073.93,"body":"you expect to see something come"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2071.26,"endTime":2073.93,"body":"back from that and in recovery,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2073.93,"endTime":2077.35,"body":"you expect your partner your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2073.93,"endTime":2077.35,"body":"spouse to be okay with things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2077.56,"endTime":2081.79,"body":"way before they will be and that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2077.56,"endTime":2081.79,"body":"works both ways. We come out of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2081.79,"endTime":2085.27,"body":"treatment and our partners and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2081.79,"endTime":2085.27,"body":"spouses think we're gonna go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2085.27,"endTime":2087.64,"body":"back to being a family again,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2085.27,"endTime":2087.64,"body":"like right like we're totally"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2087.64,"endTime":2090.61,"body":"cool. No, you're gonna get a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2087.64,"endTime":2090.61,"body":"zombie who sits around doesn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2090.61,"endTime":2093.19,"body":"know how to navigate anything"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2090.61,"endTime":2093.19,"body":"doesn't talk to you? Because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2093.19,"endTime":2096.46,"body":"they don't know how yet yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2093.19,"endTime":2096.46,"body":"it's like a brand new person"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2096.46,"endTime":2099.19,"body":"like right, you're not going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2096.46,"endTime":2099.19,"body":"get back the same person."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2099.49,"endTime":2102.22,"body":"They'll let have to. But here's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2099.49,"endTime":2102.22,"body":"my question why why would you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2102.22,"endTime":2105.7,"body":"want that person back? Right?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2102.22,"endTime":2105.7,"body":"That's the person that screwed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2105.7,"endTime":2108.61,"body":"the whole deal up in the first"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2105.7,"endTime":2108.61,"body":"place. Yeah. You know, like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2109.81,"endTime":2113.8,"body":"there's this. There's this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2109.81,"endTime":2113.8,"body":"artists. It's on Instagram at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2113.8,"endTime":2119.95,"body":"BLKSMT H at, like a blacksmith."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2113.8,"endTime":2119.95,"body":"Oh yeah, he does his balloon."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2120.73,"endTime":2123.85,"body":"Art. I love it. And there's this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2120.73,"endTime":2123.85,"body":"one that I always thought was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2123.85,"endTime":2127.09,"body":"greatness. It says, What's wrong"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2123.85,"endTime":2127.09,"body":"babe? You're not acting like the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2127.09,"endTime":2130.45,"body":"romanticized version of you, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2127.09,"endTime":2130.45,"body":"thought you were. And like that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2130.45,"endTime":2133.0,"body":"happens, like, underlying a lot"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2130.45,"endTime":2133.0,"body":"of the stuff like that happens."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2133.03,"endTime":2135.31,"body":"It's like we expect people to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2133.03,"endTime":2135.31,"body":"act a certain way, because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2135.31,"endTime":2138.25,"body":"that's how they are in our head."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2135.31,"endTime":2138.25,"body":"Yeah, created like their own"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2138.25,"endTime":2141.82,"body":"personality and like, who they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2138.25,"endTime":2141.82,"body":"can be based on their potential."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2142.12,"endTime":2145.45,"body":"And a couple of situations or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2142.12,"endTime":2145.45,"body":"actions where they were really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2145.45,"endTime":2148.36,"body":"awesome. It's like, oh, that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2145.45,"endTime":2148.36,"body":"my boo. Yeah, that's the person"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2148.36,"endTime":2151.66,"body":"I want. Yeah, that's the dude I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2148.36,"endTime":2151.66,"body":"want like, no, like, it starts"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2151.66,"endTime":2153.97,"body":"over in recovery. It does. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2151.66,"endTime":2153.97,"body":"get a new person,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2153.97,"endTime":2156.46,"body":"literally, you're totally"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2153.97,"endTime":2156.46,"body":"different. Like, I mean, there's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2156.46,"endTime":2159.1,"body":"some things like that there's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2156.46,"endTime":2159.1,"body":"some quirky things that you have"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2159.1,"endTime":2161.53,"body":"from when I first met you, but"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2159.1,"endTime":2161.53,"body":"still there, you're Yeah, but"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2161.53,"endTime":2164.83,"body":"you're still pretty much like a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2161.53,"endTime":2164.83,"body":"totally different person. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2164.83,"endTime":2165.76,"body":"And you got sober."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2165.82,"endTime":2168.07,"body":"And the danger in that is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2165.82,"endTime":2168.07,"body":"that sometimes this person that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2168.07,"endTime":2170.83,"body":"comes out and even, like, even"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2168.07,"endTime":2170.83,"body":"after, like a year or so you'd"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2170.83,"endTime":2174.22,"body":"be like, Look at each other and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2170.83,"endTime":2174.22,"body":"say, we don't really get along"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2174.22,"endTime":2178.0,"body":"that, well. We're just not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2174.22,"endTime":2178.0,"body":"really freaking compatible. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2178.0,"endTime":2180.7,"body":"want to make that I want to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2178.0,"endTime":2180.7,"body":"honest about that make that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2180.7,"endTime":2183.19,"body":"clear that I've seen that happen"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2180.7,"endTime":2183.19,"body":"many times as well, where"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2183.52,"endTime":2186.7,"body":"someone comes out of treatment,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2183.52,"endTime":2186.7,"body":"it's just like, Man, I'm totally"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2186.7,"endTime":2188.8,"body":"different person, like the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2186.7,"endTime":2188.8,"body":"person that you knew wasn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2188.8,"endTime":2191.8,"body":"really me at all. Like, if I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2188.8,"endTime":2191.8,"body":"being real and authentic about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2191.8,"endTime":2195.37,"body":"it. This is who I really am. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2191.8,"endTime":2195.37,"body":"you'll, as a partner be like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2195.4,"endTime":2198.73,"body":"that's not what I signed up for."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2195.4,"endTime":2198.73,"body":"I kind of liked some of the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2198.73,"endTime":2201.37,"body":"stuff before but if this is what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2198.73,"endTime":2201.37,"body":"we're talking about, now, maybe"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2201.37,"endTime":2203.98,"body":"I'm not interested either,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2201.37,"endTime":2203.98,"body":"right? Like it's a scary time."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2203.98,"endTime":2207.91,"body":"There's no guarantees in this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2203.98,"endTime":2207.91,"body":"game. Yeah. Like, I hate that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2207.91,"endTime":2210.61,"body":"about us, though. Because I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2207.91,"endTime":2210.61,"body":"think people will see us and the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2210.61,"endTime":2212.74,"body":"first thing they're attracted to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2210.61,"endTime":2212.74,"body":"is like, Oh, we could be just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2212.74,"endTime":2216.82,"body":"like them. And you're right. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2212.74,"endTime":2216.82,"body":"could, but it's, it's possible."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2216.82,"endTime":2220.51,"body":"But there are also several other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2216.82,"endTime":2220.51,"body":"possibilities. Yeah, that it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2220.54,"endTime":2223.09,"body":"it's like, I don't know, maybe"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2220.54,"endTime":2223.09,"body":"like a roulette wheel, like, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2223.09,"endTime":2225.82,"body":"yes. Or you could get something"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2223.09,"endTime":2225.82,"body":"totally different, right? Or it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2225.82,"endTime":2229.57,"body":"could be, what I think most"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2225.82,"endTime":2229.57,"body":"people do is that they, they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2229.57,"endTime":2232.27,"body":"become so empowered, that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2229.57,"endTime":2232.27,"body":"they're like, You know what, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2232.27,"endTime":2235.27,"body":"can be truly happy living"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2232.27,"endTime":2235.27,"body":"authentic life on my own with or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2235.27,"endTime":2237.76,"body":"without this person. But I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2235.27,"endTime":2237.76,"body":"I want to do it without them."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2237.76,"endTime":2240.67,"body":"Because it's easier. I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2237.76,"endTime":2240.67,"body":"have to deal with the triggers"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2240.67,"endTime":2244.15,"body":"the back and forth and like, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2240.67,"endTime":2244.15,"body":"love them. But if I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2244.15,"endTime":2246.37,"body":"have to leave them in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2244.15,"endTime":2246.37,"body":"reality that they've chosen for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2246.37,"endTime":2251.14,"body":"themselves. And I love you, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2246.37,"endTime":2251.14,"body":"I can't do this anymore. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2251.14,"endTime":2254.35,"body":"they walk their own path. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2251.14,"endTime":2254.35,"body":"that's another possibility."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2254.35,"endTime":2254.68,"body":"Yeah, but"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2254.68,"endTime":2257.77,"body":"these triggers are still"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2254.68,"endTime":2257.77,"body":"gonna come up in other"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2257.77,"endTime":2260.59,"body":"relationships. Probably too."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2257.77,"endTime":2260.59,"body":"Yeah, you'll find someone who"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2260.59,"endTime":2263.32,"body":"had nothing to do with it. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2260.59,"endTime":2263.32,"body":"then you're gonna hear Ken and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2263.32,"endTime":2267.22,"body":"think, oh, yeah, that's why we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2263.32,"endTime":2267.22,"body":"have to learn to cope with them."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2267.28,"endTime":2269.77,"body":"Yes, no, it's not typically,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2267.28,"endTime":2269.77,"body":"it's not the other person's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2269.77,"endTime":2271.72,"body":"responsibility. Yes, they may"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2269.77,"endTime":2271.72,"body":"have caused it. But we're the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2271.72,"endTime":2273.34,"body":"ones that are responsible for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2271.72,"endTime":2273.34,"body":"coping, which kind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2273.34,"endTime":2275.11,"body":"of sucks. It's like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2273.34,"endTime":2275.11,"body":"someone like through baggage on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2275.11,"endTime":2277.3,"body":"your front porch. It's like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2275.11,"endTime":2277.3,"body":"Hey, this is your problem. It"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2277.3,"endTime":2279.94,"body":"totally sucks. It totally"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2277.3,"endTime":2279.94,"body":"sucks. But so in our part, it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2279.94,"endTime":2284.59,"body":"going to be coming at it in a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2279.94,"endTime":2284.59,"body":"calm manner. And in an open"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2285.1,"endTime":2288.46,"body":"communication, where you just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2285.1,"endTime":2288.46,"body":"talk about how it made you feel"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2288.46,"endTime":2291.79,"body":"and not how the other person was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2288.46,"endTime":2291.79,"body":"really triggering you. It's just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2291.79,"endTime":2294.64,"body":"like, This is how I feel when"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2291.79,"endTime":2294.64,"body":"this happens. And that's just,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2294.85,"endTime":2297.19,"body":"that's just healthy"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2294.85,"endTime":2297.19,"body":"communication in a marriage, it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2297.19,"endTime":2301.87,"body":"just is I agree. So if you feel"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2297.19,"endTime":2301.87,"body":"like you cannot really talk with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2301.9,"endTime":2306.19,"body":"this person, or maybe your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2301.9,"endTime":2306.19,"body":"triggers are even, they won't go"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2306.19,"endTime":2308.83,"body":"away after you've discussed it."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2306.19,"endTime":2308.83,"body":"Here are some other techniques"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2308.83,"endTime":2313.33,"body":"that you can use to kind of kind"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2308.83,"endTime":2313.33,"body":"of manage the trigger. So like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2313.33,"endTime":2316.48,"body":"we talked about earlier, the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2313.33,"endTime":2316.48,"body":"grounding techniques, self care"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2316.48,"endTime":2318.58,"body":"and make sure you're taking care"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2316.48,"endTime":2318.58,"body":"of yourself because it does"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2318.58,"endTime":2321.61,"body":"create resilience, and it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2318.58,"endTime":2321.61,"body":"reduces the stress over time. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2321.61,"endTime":2325.6,"body":"okay, like exercising and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2321.61,"endTime":2325.6,"body":"eating, right? It's, it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2325.6,"endTime":2328.9,"body":"important because it is going to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2325.6,"endTime":2328.9,"body":"help your levels like your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2328.9,"endTime":2329.89,"body":"stress levels,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2330.129,"endTime":2332.139,"body":"it'll help your stress"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2330.129,"endTime":2332.139,"body":"levels and it also helps you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2332.139,"endTime":2334.179,"body":"become proud of the person that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2332.139,"endTime":2334.179,"body":"you see in the mirror. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2334.269,"endTime":2337.209,"body":"like not not just physically not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2334.269,"endTime":2337.209,"body":"just physically, the physical"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2337.209,"endTime":2340.779,"body":"benefits. Like, it's so small,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2337.209,"endTime":2340.779,"body":"like that part is like That's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2340.779,"endTime":2343.209,"body":"neat. And all like when I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2340.779,"endTime":2343.209,"body":"started to get fit, I wasn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2343.209,"endTime":2345.999,"body":"doing it because I wanted to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2343.209,"endTime":2345.999,"body":"look like a like a men's health"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2346.179,"endTime":2350.619,"body":"cover guy. Like, I look like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2346.179,"endTime":2350.619,"body":"that now, but that's just been a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2350.619,"endTime":2353.589,"body":"byproduct of just trying to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2350.619,"endTime":2353.589,"body":"my mind. Right, right. Like I go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2353.589,"endTime":2356.439,"body":"to the gym now. And it's, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2353.589,"endTime":2356.439,"body":"truly it's self care. It's like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2356.439,"endTime":2361.029,"body":"Man, I'm stressed. I feel like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2356.439,"endTime":2361.029,"body":"my self esteem is crap. Like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2361.029,"endTime":2364.209,"body":"I'm not feeling myself at all."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2361.029,"endTime":2364.209,"body":"Like I just I've got to lift"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2364.209,"endTime":2365.799,"body":"some heavy crap, set it back"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2364.209,"endTime":2365.799,"body":"down. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2365.83,"endTime":2368.59,"body":"if you break a sweat, if"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2365.83,"endTime":2368.59,"body":"you have that trigger, like go"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2368.59,"endTime":2372.19,"body":"do something like turn up some"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2368.59,"endTime":2372.19,"body":"loud music and get your heart"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2372.19,"endTime":2375.04,"body":"rate going and get that anger"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2372.19,"endTime":2375.04,"body":"out on something and you will"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2375.1,"endTime":2377.68,"body":"feel a little bit better when"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2375.1,"endTime":2377.68,"body":"you're done you absolutely well,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2377.71,"endTime":2381.58,"body":"yeah. Meditation, like we talked"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2377.71,"endTime":2381.58,"body":"about earlier to meditation"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2381.58,"endTime":2385.96,"body":"helped me throughout a lot of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2381.58,"endTime":2385.96,"body":"triggers. When the first year of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2385.96,"endTime":2389.32,"body":"my recovery just gets you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2385.96,"endTime":2389.32,"body":"practicing and being in the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2389.32,"endTime":2392.92,"body":"present moment. cognitive"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2389.32,"endTime":2392.92,"body":"distortions. We've talked about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2392.92,"endTime":2395.5,"body":"this a little bit, but if you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2392.92,"endTime":2395.5,"body":"change your thought patterns, we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2395.5,"endTime":2397.45,"body":"actually have a website for a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2395.5,"endTime":2397.45,"body":"worksheet that will help you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2397.45,"endTime":2400.18,"body":"with those specific trigger if"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2397.45,"endTime":2400.18,"body":"you want to write it down. We"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2400.18,"endTime":2405.01,"body":"have how you can work through it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2400.18,"endTime":2405.01,"body":"and process it on your own to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2405.01,"endTime":2407.71,"body":"kind of shift your mind to where"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2405.01,"endTime":2407.71,"body":"it'll be a little bit more"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2407.71,"endTime":2409.9,"body":"positive and help you get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2407.71,"endTime":2409.9,"body":"through it. So if you want to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2409.9,"endTime":2415.0,"body":"check out twf.com, I think it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2409.9,"endTime":2415.0,"body":"called Change your patterns or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2415.0,"endTime":2418.87,"body":"something like that your thought"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2415.0,"endTime":2418.87,"body":"patterns, okay? And then journal"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2418.9,"endTime":2421.15,"body":"to identify your triggers."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2418.9,"endTime":2421.15,"body":"Because a lot of the times like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2421.39,"endTime":2424.63,"body":"I, there were some triggers that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2421.39,"endTime":2424.63,"body":"I have that had that I didn't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2424.63,"endTime":2428.83,"body":"identify until I went into"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2424.63,"endTime":2428.83,"body":"therapy. So if you can just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2428.83,"endTime":2431.62,"body":"identify them, it's easier to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2428.83,"endTime":2431.62,"body":"manage them. So write them down,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2431.95,"endTime":2433.72,"body":"talk with a support group,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2431.95,"endTime":2433.72,"body":"people who are going through the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2433.72,"endTime":2436.24,"body":"same thing. So you don't feel so"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2433.72,"endTime":2436.24,"body":"crazy. Like in our community,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2436.24,"endTime":2438.37,"body":"people will go in there and talk"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2436.24,"endTime":2438.37,"body":"about their triggers. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2438.37,"endTime":2440.47,"body":"they're like, I know, I sound"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2438.37,"endTime":2440.47,"body":"crazy, but this is what's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2440.47,"endTime":2443.44,"body":"happening. And we're all like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2440.47,"endTime":2443.44,"body":"Oh, you're not crazy. This is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2443.44,"endTime":2448.33,"body":"very common. It is part of the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2443.44,"endTime":2448.33,"body":"the situation and experience,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2448.33,"endTime":2451.9,"body":"we're all going through it. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2448.33,"endTime":2451.9,"body":"we totally understand. If your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2451.9,"endTime":2454.87,"body":"triggers are completely"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2451.9,"endTime":2454.87,"body":"unmanageable, and you feel like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2454.87,"endTime":2458.86,"body":"you need extra help, like panic"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2454.87,"endTime":2458.86,"body":"attacks and stuff, and your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2458.86,"endTime":2461.74,"body":"stress is getting in the way of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2458.86,"endTime":2461.74,"body":"your daily life. Get with a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2461.74,"endTime":2463.54,"body":"therapist that specializes in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2461.74,"endTime":2463.54,"body":"trauma."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2464.08,"endTime":2467.89,"body":"Yeah, that's man, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2464.08,"endTime":2467.89,"body":"power of therapy is just, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2467.92,"endTime":2470.65,"body":"it doesn't it's not a quick fix."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2467.92,"endTime":2470.65,"body":"And I think that that might"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2470.65,"endTime":2474.43,"body":"frustrate people at times, it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2470.65,"endTime":2474.43,"body":"takes time, it takes time, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2474.43,"endTime":2478.48,"body":"you will take one step forward"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2474.43,"endTime":2478.48,"body":"to back but over time, it's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2478.48,"endTime":2482.44,"body":"a linear path, right? It's, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2478.48,"endTime":2482.44,"body":"up and down, up and down, up and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2482.44,"endTime":2485.8,"body":"down. But if you stick with it,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2482.44,"endTime":2485.8,"body":"one to two years, consistently"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2485.8,"endTime":2489.16,"body":"going in wanting to get better"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2485.8,"endTime":2489.16,"body":"as you're going, you'll have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2489.16,"endTime":2490.78,"body":"breakthroughs along the way."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2489.16,"endTime":2490.78,"body":"Don't get me wrong, it's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2490.78,"endTime":2493.48,"body":"like it takes two years before"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2490.78,"endTime":2493.48,"body":"you feel better, you'll feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2493.48,"endTime":2495.97,"body":"better, but to really, really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2493.48,"endTime":2495.97,"body":"heal and process through some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2495.97,"endTime":2498.64,"body":"things. Yeah, you got to invest"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2495.97,"endTime":2498.64,"body":"some time in it. But it's so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2498.64,"endTime":2501.43,"body":"worth it. It's so worth it. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2498.64,"endTime":2501.43,"body":"know, like, we'll sign up for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2501.97,"endTime":2505.09,"body":"loans on crap that we don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2501.97,"endTime":2505.09,"body":"need, like, we'll finance a TV."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2505.63,"endTime":2509.11,"body":"But we won't spend the money on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2505.63,"endTime":2509.11,"body":"therapy or mental health or any"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2509.11,"endTime":2511.51,"body":"of that kind of stuff. It's just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2509.11,"endTime":2511.51,"body":"kind of wild, but it should be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2511.51,"endTime":2513.91,"body":"backwards backwards. Right? We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2511.51,"endTime":2513.91,"body":"should really focus on that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2513.91,"endTime":2516.94,"body":"stuff first. Yeah. Like I know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2513.91,"endTime":2516.94,"body":"it's a commitment, because it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2516.94,"endTime":2520.18,"body":"not tangible. Yeah, it's not but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2516.94,"endTime":2520.18,"body":"it hot man is so worth"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2520.21,"endTime":2523.18,"body":"is like amazing, human"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2520.21,"endTime":2523.18,"body":"only one life to live in."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2523.33,"endTime":2529.6,"body":"Yeah. It's huge. And any"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2523.33,"endTime":2529.6,"body":"advice that I would give to, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2529.6,"endTime":2532.96,"body":"guess the the addict out there"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2529.6,"endTime":2532.96,"body":"in your life, or the the person"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2532.96,"endTime":2536.17,"body":"who's in recovery, and they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2532.96,"endTime":2536.17,"body":"aren't so kind about your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2536.17,"endTime":2540.37,"body":"triggers, stop being an ass."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2536.17,"endTime":2540.37,"body":"That's my word, you can tell him"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2540.37,"endTime":2542.95,"body":"I said that. I don't care. I can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2540.37,"endTime":2542.95,"body":"take the punches, arguments,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2542.95,"endTime":2547.63,"body":"whatever. But there's earned"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2542.95,"endTime":2547.63,"body":"distrust. And these things exist"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2547.63,"endTime":2552.97,"body":"because of a situation that I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2547.63,"endTime":2552.97,"body":"put us in, I put us here, I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2552.97,"endTime":2556.24,"body":"the one who I was the one that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2552.97,"endTime":2556.24,"body":"derail this, the addiction"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2556.24,"endTime":2559.42,"body":"derail this, and I have to deal"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2556.24,"endTime":2559.42,"body":"with and I have to clean up a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2559.42,"endTime":2561.49,"body":"lot of that stuff, which means"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2559.42,"endTime":2561.49,"body":"that I have to become a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2561.49,"endTime":2565.3,"body":"participant in your mental"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2561.49,"endTime":2565.3,"body":"health journey. And any way that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2565.3,"endTime":2567.88,"body":"I can be helpful, I want to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2565.3,"endTime":2567.88,"body":"helpful, I never want you to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2567.88,"endTime":2570.4,"body":"feel like you're not allowed to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2567.88,"endTime":2570.4,"body":"feel certain way. I never want"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2570.4,"endTime":2573.85,"body":"you to feel like you're alone in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2570.4,"endTime":2573.85,"body":"this deal. And I want partners"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2573.85,"endTime":2576.97,"body":"to start supporting, I really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2573.85,"endTime":2576.97,"body":"do. And I cannot wait until the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2576.97,"endTime":2580.6,"body":"day that we get workshops where"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2576.97,"endTime":2580.6,"body":"we've got, you know, 20 to 30"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2580.6,"endTime":2583.36,"body":"couples together. And we can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2580.6,"endTime":2583.36,"body":"have these kinds of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2583.36,"endTime":2586.57,"body":"conversations. And we can have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2583.36,"endTime":2586.57,"body":"these live and we can do some,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2587.92,"endTime":2590.68,"body":"some some work where it's like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2587.92,"endTime":2590.68,"body":"okay, I want you to validate"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2590.68,"endTime":2593.11,"body":"that feeling and tell me what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2590.68,"endTime":2593.11,"body":"that felt like. And how's that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2593.11,"endTime":2596.53,"body":"feel? And what I'm having a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2593.11,"endTime":2596.53,"body":"thought, what, give me a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2596.53,"endTime":2596.95,"body":"thought."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2597.58,"endTime":2598.6,"body":"Are you ready for this?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2598.63,"endTime":2601.9,"body":"Sure. I don't know if I am"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2598.63,"endTime":2601.9,"body":"actually you. Look, you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2601.9,"endTime":2605.44,"body":"getting me right now. Okay, so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2601.9,"endTime":2605.44,"body":"and that's all we have on this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2605.44,"endTime":2605.89,"body":"episode."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2606.82,"endTime":2609.22,"body":"All right. So you've"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2606.82,"endTime":2609.22,"body":"always allowed me to have space"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2609.22,"endTime":2611.35,"body":"for my triggers and stuff,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2609.22,"endTime":2611.35,"body":"right? Like, it's never really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2611.35,"endTime":2618.01,"body":"been a problem. But oh, okay,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2611.35,"endTime":2618.01,"body":"validating my feelings on like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2618.04,"endTime":2621.76,"body":"stuff that don't necessarily"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2618.04,"endTime":2621.76,"body":"have to do with you. I guess,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2622.06,"endTime":2626.5,"body":"that took a lot longer. It did."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2622.06,"endTime":2626.5,"body":"Think about that, like you were,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2626.56,"endTime":2629.2,"body":"I guess whenever you were"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2626.56,"endTime":2629.2,"body":"validating me with my trigger,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2629.23,"endTime":2631.0,"body":"or with the triggers and stuff."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2629.23,"endTime":2631.0,"body":"It's like, it's totally"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2631.0,"endTime":2634.21,"body":"validating. You could tell"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2631.0,"endTime":2634.21,"body":"you're like, oh, I can I can"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2634.21,"endTime":2637.27,"body":"accept this I can understand but"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2634.21,"endTime":2637.27,"body":"actually validating my feelings"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2637.27,"endTime":2640.15,"body":"on anything else that you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2637.27,"endTime":2640.15,"body":"thought was like stupid things"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2640.15,"endTime":2642.67,"body":"that I wasn't responsible for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2640.15,"endTime":2642.67,"body":"you weren't responsible for and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2642.67,"endTime":2645.1,"body":"you'd be like, Oh, you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2642.67,"endTime":2645.1,"body":"sensitive. That's stupid that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2645.1,"endTime":2647.65,"body":"I would I would basically"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2645.1,"endTime":2647.65,"body":"write you, you know, like a,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2647.68,"endTime":2651.43,"body":"like a peer review. Paper. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2647.68,"endTime":2651.43,"body":"like, oh, here's here's how you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2651.46,"endTime":2652.0,"body":"here's why you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2653.44,"endTime":2658.42,"body":"This is how here's my fix"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2653.44,"endTime":2658.42,"body":"it. Yeah. Think about I just I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2658.42,"endTime":2660.04,"body":"don't know, I don't know why"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2658.42,"endTime":2660.04,"body":"connected that. But it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2660.04,"endTime":2661.75,"body":"Yeah, that's interesting."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2660.04,"endTime":2661.75,"body":"Let's explore that for just a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2661.75,"endTime":2663.73,"body":"moment, such as the end of the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2661.75,"endTime":2663.73,"body":"episode. Most people have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2663.73,"endTime":2667.99,"body":"already checked out. But it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2663.73,"endTime":2667.99,"body":"interesting. So I guess if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2668.14,"endTime":2670.75,"body":"you're right, you're absolutely"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2668.14,"endTime":2670.75,"body":"right. This this did occur. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2670.75,"endTime":2674.14,"body":"my first, my first thought about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2670.75,"endTime":2674.14,"body":"the response would be something"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2674.14,"endTime":2677.62,"body":"along the lines of so when I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2674.14,"endTime":2677.62,"body":"responsible for it. It was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2677.65,"endTime":2681.82,"body":"easier for me to see a solution"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2677.65,"endTime":2681.82,"body":"to getting past that it was also"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2681.82,"endTime":2685.9,"body":"easier to see for me why it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2681.82,"endTime":2685.9,"body":"existed in the first place. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2685.9,"endTime":2690.94,"body":"when it didn't concern me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2685.9,"endTime":2690.94,"body":"directly. I would offer"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2690.94,"endTime":2695.41,"body":"solutions I would offer fixes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2690.94,"endTime":2695.41,"body":"and I would show you how to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2695.41,"endTime":2699.55,"body":"apply that same logic to get out"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2695.41,"endTime":2699.55,"body":"of that thought. And that was my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2699.55,"endTime":2703.0,"body":"biggest pro Um, for so very long"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2699.55,"endTime":2703.0,"body":"anyway, is that it's like you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2703.0,"endTime":2705.73,"body":"didn't need a coach, you needed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2703.0,"endTime":2705.73,"body":"a husband? Yeah. It's like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2705.73,"endTime":2708.31,"body":"dude, I'm not one of your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2705.73,"endTime":2708.31,"body":"clients or one of these people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2708.31,"endTime":2711.22,"body":"that you work with, like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2708.31,"endTime":2711.22,"body":"your, I'm your wife like I have,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2711.55,"endTime":2713.68,"body":"I just need to know that I'm not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2711.55,"endTime":2713.68,"body":"crazy. I need to know that I can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2713.68,"endTime":2714.76,"body":"have these feelings,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2714.79,"endTime":2717.31,"body":"right? Where, even if you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2714.79,"endTime":2717.31,"body":"didn't agree with them, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2717.4,"endTime":2721.06,"body":"this is this is one of my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2717.4,"endTime":2721.06,"body":"just in general, one of my flaws"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2721.06,"endTime":2725.26,"body":"is that I'm a fixer. And anytime"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2721.06,"endTime":2725.26,"body":"someone brings me a problem I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2725.59,"endTime":2728.98,"body":"my brain automatically goes to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2725.59,"endTime":2728.98,"body":"like, even before you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2728.98,"endTime":2731.89,"body":"finished talking, I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2728.98,"endTime":2731.89,"body":"constructing a solution for you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2732.22,"endTime":2736.15,"body":"I'm already going through like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2732.22,"endTime":2736.15,"body":"okay, yeah, yeah. Active"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2736.15,"endTime":2736.87,"body":"listening. No, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2736.87,"endTime":2739.48,"body":"did not. I'm terrible"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2736.87,"endTime":2739.48,"body":"activists. We've talked about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2739.48,"endTime":2743.38,"body":"that. I'm already creating"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2739.48,"endTime":2743.38,"body":"solutions to get you out of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2743.38,"endTime":2745.99,"body":"that. Because I mean, I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2743.38,"endTime":2745.99,"body":"want you to feel this way. Let"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2745.99,"endTime":2749.2,"body":"me come up with a solution that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2745.99,"endTime":2749.2,"body":"will get you past that, which is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2749.23,"endTime":2752.95,"body":"totally wrong. And is, the worst"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2749.23,"endTime":2752.95,"body":"thing you can do for someone is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2752.95,"endTime":2756.46,"body":"just show them the way out, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2752.95,"endTime":2756.46,"body":"best thing you can do is love"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2756.46,"endTime":2759.94,"body":"them, support the validate them,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2756.46,"endTime":2759.94,"body":"and then let them figure out how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2759.94,"endTime":2762.25,"body":"to give them advice. If they ask"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2759.94,"endTime":2762.25,"body":"for it. Like, if you don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2762.25,"endTime":2764.59,"body":"figure it out yourself. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2762.25,"endTime":2764.59,"body":"never really learned it anyway."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2764.59,"endTime":2767.17,"body":"You know, like, if you wanted"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2764.59,"endTime":2767.17,"body":"advice, you would ask me for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2767.17,"endTime":2770.53,"body":"advice. And I think that I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2767.17,"endTime":2770.53,"body":"always assumed anytime you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2770.53,"endTime":2773.29,"body":"brought me into a problem, it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2770.53,"endTime":2773.29,"body":"comes from like work stuff. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2773.29,"endTime":2777.34,"body":"think it's like, yeah, if you've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2773.29,"endTime":2777.34,"body":"been a boss or manager anywhere,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2777.34,"endTime":2779.56,"body":"like that's what people do they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2777.34,"endTime":2779.56,"body":"come to you and they say here,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2779.56,"endTime":2782.62,"body":"here's a problem. I need a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2779.56,"endTime":2782.62,"body":"solution here. Yeah. And I guess"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2782.62,"endTime":2784.75,"body":"I started to apply that in my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2782.62,"endTime":2784.75,"body":"own relationship, which is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2784.87,"endTime":2789.04,"body":"terrible. Don't do that. Don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2784.87,"endTime":2789.04,"body":"do that is does not make for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2789.04,"endTime":2794.08,"body":"happy marriage at all. Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2789.04,"endTime":2794.08,"body":"think that gets kind of where my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2794.2,"endTime":2798.34,"body":"thought process was. But it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2794.2,"endTime":2798.34,"body":"much easier now that just Just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2798.34,"endTime":2801.22,"body":"shut up. Listen, shut my mind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2798.34,"endTime":2801.22,"body":"off and listen to exactly what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2801.22,"endTime":2802.99,"body":"you're saying and just validate"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2801.22,"endTime":2802.99,"body":"you along the way."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2803.05,"endTime":2805.21,"body":"I just had to connect the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2803.05,"endTime":2805.21,"body":"two because it was kind of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2805.21,"endTime":2807.73,"body":"interesting. How because I feel"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2805.21,"endTime":2807.73,"body":"like the opposite would be for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2807.73,"endTime":2811.18,"body":"me. Like if you were triggered"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2807.73,"endTime":2811.18,"body":"by something that I would that I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2811.18,"endTime":2812.56,"body":"did. I think it would kind of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2812.56,"endTime":2815.59,"body":"pissed me off. You would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2812.56,"endTime":2815.59,"body":"get defensive about it. Right? I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2815.59,"endTime":2817.63,"body":"would get I would get defensive."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2815.59,"endTime":2817.63,"body":"But like when"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2817.63,"endTime":2820.27,"body":"you come to me with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2817.63,"endTime":2820.27,"body":"problems that don't direct,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2821.05,"endTime":2824.29,"body":"very, like, I'm just I mean, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2821.05,"endTime":2824.29,"body":"sometimes I'll throw in my two"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2824.35,"endTime":2826.51,"body":"cents, but I'm not trying to fix"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2824.35,"endTime":2826.51,"body":"it for you. It's more of my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2826.51,"endTime":2829.24,"body":"opinion. It's like like, well,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2826.51,"endTime":2829.24,"body":"this is what I would do you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2829.24,"endTime":2832.72,"body":"know, but I'm not judging you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2829.24,"endTime":2832.72,"body":"for what you're going through or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2832.72,"endTime":2833.92,"body":"telling you how to fix it. I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2834.46,"endTime":2838.12,"body":"just there for any any"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2834.46,"endTime":2838.12,"body":"thing that is like, hey, I need"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2838.12,"endTime":2840.19,"body":"to do that. This is how I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2838.12,"endTime":2840.19,"body":"would I think I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2840.19,"endTime":2843.13,"body":"would start gaslighting me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2840.19,"endTime":2843.13,"body":"and telling me no Oh."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2845.35,"endTime":2847.45,"body":"Yeah, I wonder what"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2845.35,"endTime":2847.45,"body":"that's about?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2847.54,"endTime":2848.59,"body":"I don't know, man. We're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2847.54,"endTime":2848.59,"body":"crazy. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2848.59,"endTime":2851.11,"body":"don't know. We just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2848.59,"endTime":2851.11,"body":"process this though. Maybe like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2851.14,"endTime":2853.66,"body":"I'll do better. If you ever come"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2851.14,"endTime":2853.66,"body":"up with something that's true."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2853.66,"endTime":2856.48,"body":"Like yelling was always a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2853.66,"endTime":2856.48,"body":"trigger for you. Yeah. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2856.48,"endTime":2859.27,"body":"like, I know why it was a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2856.48,"endTime":2859.27,"body":"trigger. But it would make me"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2859.27,"endTime":2861.7,"body":"mad because I'm like, That's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2859.27,"endTime":2861.7,"body":"just who I am. You know, it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2861.7,"endTime":2862.66,"body":"kind of stupid."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2863.5,"endTime":2866.56,"body":"Man. We're never finished"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2863.5,"endTime":2866.56,"body":"projects. Are we? No matter how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2866.56,"endTime":2869.62,"body":"squared away you think anyone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2866.56,"endTime":2869.62,"body":"is? We're never finished"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2869.62,"endTime":2872.56,"body":"projects. And that's, I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2869.62,"endTime":2872.56,"body":"know. I kind of love that. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2872.56,"endTime":2875.29,"body":"love that. This is a game with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2872.56,"endTime":2875.29,"body":"no end. I know. Right? You just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2875.29,"endTime":2877.33,"body":"have to be good at playing the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2875.29,"endTime":2877.33,"body":"game. It's fine. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2877.36,"endTime":2879.82,"body":"I love it. At this point."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2877.36,"endTime":2879.82,"body":"It wasn't before. Like for a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2879.82,"endTime":2880.72,"body":"while. It wasn't fun. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2880.72,"endTime":2883.06,"body":"the beginning of the game"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2880.72,"endTime":2883.06,"body":"is not very fun. reading the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2883.06,"endTime":2885.46,"body":"instructions, setting it up. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2883.06,"endTime":2885.46,"body":"once you start getting it like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2885.46,"endTime":2889.6,"body":"get into Awesome. Yeah, there's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2885.46,"endTime":2889.6,"body":"no end and I never see. And the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2889.6,"endTime":2892.39,"body":"benefits aren't like, like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2889.6,"endTime":2892.39,"body":"there's no diminishing returns"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2892.39,"endTime":2894.7,"body":"on the benefits either. It just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2892.39,"endTime":2894.7,"body":"keeps getting better and better"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2894.7,"endTime":2897.82,"body":"and better and better. And keeps"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2894.7,"endTime":2897.82,"body":"leveling up. Like there's no end"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2897.82,"endTime":2900.64,"body":"like, sky's the limit, man."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2897.82,"endTime":2900.64,"body":"Yeah, it's good stuff. All"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2900.64,"endTime":2902.74,"body":"right. Well think that doesn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2900.64,"endTime":2902.74,"body":"hear right. Yeah, you got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2902.74,"endTime":2905.92,"body":"anything else? No, no, no, man."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2902.74,"endTime":2905.92,"body":"Just be be gentle with your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2905.92,"endTime":2907.84,"body":"triggers. Be gentle with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2905.92,"endTime":2907.84,"body":"yourself as you're processing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2907.84,"endTime":2909.82,"body":"those things. And just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2907.84,"endTime":2909.82,"body":"understand, like Paige said that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2910.21,"endTime":2914.35,"body":"if you've got someone in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2910.21,"endTime":2914.35,"body":"recovery, like I would, I would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2914.35,"endTime":2916.45,"body":"wish I could just shake them and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2914.35,"endTime":2916.45,"body":"tell them like, hey, you need to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2916.45,"endTime":2918.79,"body":"be more cognizant of this stuff."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2916.45,"endTime":2918.79,"body":"And you need to be hold space."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2918.79,"endTime":2921.88,"body":"But if they don't, there's still"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2918.79,"endTime":2921.88,"body":"work that you can do to get past"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2921.88,"endTime":2924.64,"body":"these things. And, you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2921.88,"endTime":2924.64,"body":"Paige gave some really awesome"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2924.64,"endTime":2927.43,"body":"suggestions that are really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2924.64,"endTime":2927.43,"body":"effective, and they actually"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2927.43,"endTime":2930.07,"body":"work. These aren't just guesses"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2927.43,"endTime":2930.07,"body":"like, oh, you could probably do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2930.07,"endTime":2932.89,"body":"that. No, no, no, this is stuff"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2930.07,"endTime":2932.89,"body":"that we do. We actually practice"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2933.16,"endTime":2936.7,"body":"worked in our lives. We wouldn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2933.16,"endTime":2936.7,"body":"be sharing it. Exactly. This is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2936.7,"endTime":2939.91,"body":"this stuff's effective, truly"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2936.7,"endTime":2939.91,"body":"effective. Yep. So we appreciate"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2939.91,"endTime":2941.44,"body":"you guys being here. We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2939.91,"endTime":2941.44,"body":"appreciate all the support"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2941.47,"endTime":2943.69,"body":"support we've been getting like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2941.47,"endTime":2943.69,"body":"the podcast is growing, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2943.69,"endTime":2946.6,"body":"community is growing like the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2943.69,"endTime":2946.6,"body":"word is getting out. Like we're,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2947.02,"endTime":2950.32,"body":"we're getting referred out from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2947.02,"endTime":2950.32,"body":"all different places. And it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2950.35,"endTime":2952.9,"body":"awesome watching this, this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2950.35,"endTime":2952.9,"body":"movement grow, which is really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2952.9,"endTime":2956.11,"body":"it's it's a movement at this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2952.9,"endTime":2956.11,"body":"point. It's not just, hey, these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2956.11,"endTime":2958.6,"body":"these two people have got some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2956.11,"endTime":2958.6,"body":"good things to say. Like they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2958.6,"endTime":2961.09,"body":"really saying some stuff. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2958.6,"endTime":2961.09,"body":"there could be some, like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2961.09,"endTime":2964.63,"body":"sizable change in industries"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2961.09,"endTime":2964.63,"body":"that don't even know what's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2964.63,"endTime":2968.5,"body":"coming yet. But it's common, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2964.63,"endTime":2968.5,"body":"I can't wait to like I said, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2968.5,"endTime":2970.99,"body":"just I always look forward and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2968.5,"endTime":2970.99,"body":"I'm always hopeful, I believe in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2970.99,"endTime":2973.27,"body":"brighter tomorrow's and I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2970.99,"endTime":2973.27,"body":"believe in a brighter tomorrow"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2973.51,"endTime":2976.69,"body":"for spousal and family recovery."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2973.51,"endTime":2976.69,"body":"When it comes to addiction. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2976.69,"endTime":2978.82,"body":"look forward to the day where"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2976.69,"endTime":2978.82,"body":"we've got you know, we've got a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2978.82,"endTime":2982.51,"body":"convention we've got 1000s of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2978.82,"endTime":2982.51,"body":"people attending and like, these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2982.51,"endTime":2985.3,"body":"conversations look much"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2982.51,"endTime":2985.3,"body":"different than they do today."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2986.08,"endTime":2988.57,"body":"Before people discover us,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2986.08,"endTime":2988.57,"body":"because the first time they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2988.57,"endTime":2990.58,"body":"discover us, it's generally like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2988.57,"endTime":2990.58,"body":"holy crap. I didn't know I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2990.58,"endTime":2992.8,"body":"allowed to say this kind of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2990.58,"endTime":2992.8,"body":"stuff or feel this kind of way"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2992.8,"endTime":2995.5,"body":"or any of that, right. Like I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2992.8,"endTime":2995.5,"body":"want this to be the standard"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2995.5,"endTime":2998.59,"body":"man. And then I want some other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2995.5,"endTime":2998.59,"body":"people to take what we've done"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2998.59,"endTime":3001.59,"body":"here and then take that el de"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2998.59,"endTime":3001.59,"body":"Yes, yeah, like just let's,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3001.62,"endTime":3003.93,"body":"let's grow this, let's blow this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3001.62,"endTime":3003.93,"body":"thing up. We can really help"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3003.93,"endTime":3006.99,"body":"people, we can save people years"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3003.93,"endTime":3006.99,"body":"of misery, if we really start to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3006.99,"endTime":3009.36,"body":"have these discussions and get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3006.99,"endTime":3009.36,"body":"people to help they need. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3009.42,"endTime":3011.49,"body":"So thank you all for being here."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3009.42,"endTime":3011.49,"body":"And thank you for the support."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3011.49,"endTime":3013.92,"body":"Like, I can't tell you how much"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3011.49,"endTime":3013.92,"body":"it means to us. Like, we do our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3013.92,"endTime":3016.44,"body":"best to get back to DMS emails"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3013.92,"endTime":3016.44,"body":"and things like that. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3016.44,"endTime":3018.9,"body":"there's a lot of them and like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3016.44,"endTime":3018.9,"body":"we tried to pick a couple of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3018.9,"endTime":3021.39,"body":"days to respond to. So we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3018.9,"endTime":3021.39,"body":"haven't responded to that. We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3021.39,"endTime":3025.14,"body":"just don't care. Like we just,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3021.39,"endTime":3025.14,"body":"it's just a lot. So we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3025.14,"endTime":3027.03,"body":"appreciate it. I can't tell you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3025.14,"endTime":3027.03,"body":"how much it means to us. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3027.03,"endTime":3031.05,"body":"it's, it's nuts. It's awesome."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3027.03,"endTime":3031.05,"body":"We love you all. And like we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3031.05,"endTime":3033.15,"body":"always say that we will love you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3031.05,"endTime":3033.15,"body":"until you can love yourself."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3033.18,"endTime":3036.81,"body":"We're here for you. You're not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3033.18,"endTime":3036.81,"body":"alone in any of this stuff. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3037.02,"endTime":3039.96,"body":"if you're not in our community,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3037.02,"endTime":3039.96,"body":"please check it out. If you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3039.96,"endTime":3042.72,"body":"click any of our social media"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3039.96,"endTime":3042.72,"body":"profiles, it'll bring up a bunch"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3042.72,"endTime":3045.15,"body":"of Tufo links. And one of those"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3042.72,"endTime":3045.15,"body":"is the community, you can check"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3045.15,"endTime":3049.62,"body":"us out there. And it's a great"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3045.15,"endTime":3049.62,"body":"place to stay in touch with us."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3050.85,"endTime":3053.28,"body":"Not on a one on one basis, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3050.85,"endTime":3053.28,"body":"it's great place to just know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3053.28,"endTime":3057.18,"body":"what's happening and in our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3053.28,"endTime":3057.18,"body":"world and with two FFO. We have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3057.51,"endTime":3059.97,"body":"community calls, which I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3057.51,"endTime":3059.97,"body":"we've got coming up this week."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3059.97,"endTime":3062.64,"body":"We should have one nothing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3059.97,"endTime":3062.64,"body":"definite yet, but keep an eye"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3062.64,"endTime":3065.25,"body":"out. If it's announced, it'll be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3062.64,"endTime":3065.25,"body":"announced in the community."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3066.0,"endTime":3068.01,"body":"That's where you get access to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3066.0,"endTime":3068.01,"body":"it. That's where the link is in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3068.01,"endTime":3071.58,"body":"the password and all that good"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3068.01,"endTime":3071.58,"body":"stuff. Awesome. Page. Thanks for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3071.58,"endTime":3072.39,"body":"carrying us through this thing."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3072.87,"endTime":3075.99,"body":"Thanks for chiming in."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3072.87,"endTime":3075.99,"body":"Thanks for letting me boss."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3076.29,"endTime":3081.18,"body":"Oh, sure. All right, till"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3076.29,"endTime":3081.18,"body":"next time, Ironman. Bye."}]}