{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.07,"body":"But I think a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.07,"body":"people look at relationships and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2.07,"endTime":5.58,"body":"say that just basically"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2.07,"endTime":5.58,"body":"everything's a deal breaker. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":5.58,"endTime":9.06,"body":"it's not the case not everything"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":5.58,"endTime":9.06,"body":"is a deal breaker, right?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":9.09,"endTime":10.68,"body":"It's not let it go."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":10.83,"endTime":14.16,"body":"Just let some of the stuff"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":10.83,"endTime":14.16,"body":"go. Right. Some like the lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":14.16,"endTime":16.47,"body":"stuff we usually talk about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":14.16,"endTime":16.47,"body":"here. Those are deal breakers"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":16.5,"endTime":16.68,"body":"deal"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":16.68,"endTime":19.2,"body":"breakers. 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Like my ears"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":48.18,"endTime":51.3,"body":"are sensitive sometimes. But"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":51.3,"endTime":52.95,"body":"it's like, bam, right in your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":51.3,"endTime":52.95,"body":"face."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":53.13,"endTime":56.22,"body":"Because the room goes from"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":53.13,"endTime":56.22,"body":"quiet to just that. Probably no"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":56.22,"endTime":59.55,"body":"segue just boom. It could also"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":56.22,"endTime":59.55,"body":"be because this is the earliest"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":59.55,"endTime":62.76,"body":"we've ever recorded. Yeah, this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":59.55,"endTime":62.76,"body":"is weird. It's before 9am Our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":62.76,"endTime":63.21,"body":"time."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":63.24,"endTime":65.37,"body":"It's kind of nice,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":63.24,"endTime":65.37,"body":"though. I feel more like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":65.37,"endTime":66.27,"body":"refreshed."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":66.51,"endTime":68.13,"body":"You'd rather record early"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":66.51,"endTime":68.13,"body":"than late."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":68.34,"endTime":70.74,"body":"Yes, I'm tired at night."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":68.34,"endTime":70.74,"body":"You know me."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":70.77,"endTime":73.83,"body":"This is true. Usually I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":70.77,"endTime":73.83,"body":"start losing you by late. 20"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":73.83,"endTime":77.58,"body":"minute mark. Look over there."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":73.83,"endTime":77.58,"body":"It's yeah, you're gone. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":77.58,"endTime":77.76,"body":"And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":77.76,"endTime":80.97,"body":"it's really hard for me"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":77.76,"endTime":80.97,"body":"to like, collect myself. I just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":80.97,"endTime":84.96,"body":"want to go to bed like oh, and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":80.97,"endTime":84.96,"body":"today I've only had one cup of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":84.96,"endTime":86.58,"body":"coffee, which is not normal."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":86.64,"endTime":88.35,"body":"That's only because we ran"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":86.64,"endTime":88.35,"body":"out of coffee."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":88.38,"endTime":89.46,"body":"Yeah, I suck at that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":90.09,"endTime":91.17,"body":"Do what ordering coffee."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":91.2,"endTime":95.79,"body":"Yeah. Keeping it like in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":91.2,"endTime":95.79,"body":"line. I should have it in stock"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":95.82,"endTime":96.81,"body":"before we run out."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":96.84,"endTime":98.82,"body":"I think it's a failure on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":96.84,"endTime":98.82,"body":"both our parts because we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":98.82,"endTime":103.26,"body":"both addicted to coffee. And if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":98.82,"endTime":103.26,"body":"neither of us can maintain our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":103.26,"endTime":106.56,"body":"habit. That's a bad thing."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":103.26,"endTime":106.56,"body":"That's just addict fail."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":106.62,"endTime":108.48,"body":"Honestly, I think I only"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":106.62,"endTime":108.48,"body":"need one cup."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":109.68,"endTime":111.72,"body":"Technically, you don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":109.68,"endTime":111.72,"body":"need any. Okay."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":111.87,"endTime":115.83,"body":"I only my okay, I can"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":111.87,"endTime":115.83,"body":"only handle one cup. Okay, yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":116.85,"endTime":119.37,"body":"I like to do salt water in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":116.85,"endTime":119.37,"body":"the mornings. That actually"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":119.37,"endTime":120.18,"body":"works better than coffee."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":120.18,"endTime":121.92,"body":"Yeah, but the stuff you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":120.18,"endTime":121.92,"body":"have breaks are fast. I don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":121.92,"endTime":123.99,"body":"like that. It does. Yeah, it has"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":124.35,"endTime":127.62,"body":"stevia leaf in it. That's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":124.35,"endTime":127.62,"body":"right. needs all right."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":127.71,"endTime":129.78,"body":"No, you don't care. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":127.71,"endTime":129.78,"body":"all but it's a thing for me."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":129.81,"endTime":133.68,"body":"I won't even worry about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":129.81,"endTime":133.68,"body":"it. Okay, yeah, this last week's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":133.68,"endTime":137.52,"body":"been kind of wild. We've been"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":133.68,"endTime":137.52,"body":"just focusing really, really,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":137.64,"endTime":140.76,"body":"what are you doing? I guess, oh,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":137.64,"endTime":140.76,"body":"I got you're setting your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":140.76,"endTime":143.88,"body":"dandruff on me. So she's, she's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":140.76,"endTime":143.88,"body":"wiping me out. I was helping."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":143.88,"endTime":147.27,"body":"We've been working hard and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":143.88,"endTime":147.27,"body":"heavy on till the wheels fall"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":147.27,"endTime":150.54,"body":"off this last week. Yes. Got all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":147.27,"endTime":150.54,"body":"kinds of crazy stuff. We've got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":150.54,"endTime":152.97,"body":"a board with a to do list. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":150.54,"endTime":152.97,"body":"like a mile long. And we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":152.97,"endTime":156.54,"body":"gonna have every bit of this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":152.97,"endTime":156.54,"body":"stuff done. Which means more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":156.54,"endTime":160.26,"body":"resources for you exactly. More"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":156.54,"endTime":160.26,"body":"resources for you includes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":160.26,"endTime":164.4,"body":"online course and retreats. We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":160.26,"endTime":164.4,"body":"got some merch in the works. It"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":164.4,"endTime":169.02,"body":"is sweatshirt season. And we've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":164.4,"endTime":169.02,"body":"got some we took delivery of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":169.02,"endTime":172.59,"body":"like 20 samples we've got to go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":169.02,"endTime":172.59,"body":"through and but anyway, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":172.59,"endTime":176.07,"body":"it's getting for real. And we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":172.59,"endTime":176.07,"body":"have you listeners to thank for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":176.07,"endTime":180.6,"body":"that. The support we get is just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":176.07,"endTime":180.6,"body":"absolutely amazing. And since we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":180.6,"endTime":182.7,"body":"are on the topic of gratitude"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":180.6,"endTime":182.7,"body":"for just a moment with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":182.7,"endTime":185.67,"body":"Thanksgiving holiday upon us, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":182.7,"endTime":185.67,"body":"just want to say that I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":185.67,"endTime":188.16,"body":"thankful for everyone that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":185.67,"endTime":188.16,"body":"listens, the the DMS, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":188.16,"endTime":191.55,"body":"messages, we get the kind words,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":188.16,"endTime":191.55,"body":"we see just about all of them."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":191.55,"endTime":194.31,"body":"And it warms our heart, we do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":191.55,"endTime":194.31,"body":"not take it lightly that we have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":194.31,"endTime":197.97,"body":"a responsibility to our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":194.31,"endTime":197.97,"body":"followers to people that listen"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":197.97,"endTime":201.48,"body":"to people that you know, get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":197.97,"endTime":201.48,"body":"hope and inspiration from this."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":201.48,"endTime":203.49,"body":"And I just want to thank"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":201.48,"endTime":203.49,"body":"everybody. That's what I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":203.49,"endTime":206.97,"body":"thankful for this season. Is you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":203.49,"endTime":206.97,"body":"all the listeners. Yeah. Even as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":206.97,"endTime":208.83,"body":"you're walking through some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":206.97,"endTime":208.83,"body":"really dark moments in life"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":208.83,"endTime":211.77,"body":"sharing it with us. It's just,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":208.83,"endTime":211.77,"body":"it means the world to us that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":211.8,"endTime":213.39,"body":"you feel safe enough to do that."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":213.42,"endTime":215.58,"body":"Yes. And I hope you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":213.42,"endTime":215.58,"body":"becoming more empowered each"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":215.58,"endTime":217.29,"body":"time you listen. Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":217.32,"endTime":220.17,"body":"Yeah, that's our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":217.32,"endTime":220.17,"body":"overarching goal there. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":220.17,"endTime":223.44,"body":"anyway, we we kind of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":220.17,"endTime":223.44,"body":"interrupted our series on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":223.44,"endTime":227.37,"body":"communication with an episode of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":223.44,"endTime":227.37,"body":"Around the holidays, which I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":227.37,"endTime":231.03,"body":"hope people found helpful. As"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":227.37,"endTime":231.03,"body":"you're kind of walking into this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":231.03,"endTime":234.3,"body":"holiday season, and we are going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":231.03,"endTime":234.3,"body":"to pick back up where we left"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":234.3,"endTime":238.05,"body":"off a few weeks back with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":234.3,"endTime":238.05,"body":"communication. This series on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":238.05,"endTime":243.72,"body":"communication has been, I guess,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":238.05,"endTime":243.72,"body":"sort of like a like a 30,000"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":243.72,"endTime":246.84,"body":"foot view like a transition as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":243.72,"endTime":246.84,"body":"we go from like communicating"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":246.84,"endTime":249.99,"body":"with someone who's still"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":246.84,"endTime":249.99,"body":"actively using to that early"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":249.99,"endTime":254.01,"body":"recovery stage, which is fill of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":249.99,"endTime":254.01,"body":"just full of potholes and all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":254.01,"endTime":257.64,"body":"kinds of Yes, things you can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":254.01,"endTime":257.64,"body":"trip over and then sort of what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":257.64,"endTime":263.4,"body":"we get to in this isn't just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":257.64,"endTime":263.4,"body":"unique to relationships in later"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":263.4,"endTime":266.55,"body":"stages of recovery. I think this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":263.4,"endTime":266.55,"body":"is just healthy, healthy"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":266.55,"endTime":269.79,"body":"communication in general. Right."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":266.55,"endTime":269.79,"body":"And we've done a communication"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":269.79,"endTime":273.66,"body":"episode before. Oh, yeah, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":269.79,"endTime":273.66,"body":"been quite some time ago, which"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":273.66,"endTime":277.95,"body":"is about a year I think, and we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":273.66,"endTime":277.95,"body":"pulled like a real from it. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":277.98,"endTime":279.54,"body":"Tiktok got really mad."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":279.72,"endTime":281.67,"body":"Well, we had a lot of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":279.72,"endTime":281.67,"body":"listeners that were triggered by"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":281.67,"endTime":284.07,"body":"it as well. I received some"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":281.67,"endTime":284.07,"body":"messages from it, who were like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":284.1,"endTime":286.26,"body":"Oh, you made me look at"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":284.1,"endTime":286.26,"body":"something that I didn't want to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":286.26,"endTime":289.71,"body":"look at. And I think that the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":286.26,"endTime":289.71,"body":"wording I used was a little"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":289.71,"endTime":292.77,"body":"triggering. So we're going to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":289.71,"endTime":292.77,"body":"clarify some things today."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":292.8,"endTime":296.94,"body":"Okay. I think even though"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":292.8,"endTime":296.94,"body":"our intent was good, obviously"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":296.94,"endTime":301.02,"body":"it came off wrong and we are big"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":296.94,"endTime":301.02,"body":"on action. rather than intent,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":301.02,"endTime":304.11,"body":"So, apologies for that. We'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":301.02,"endTime":304.11,"body":"try to hit the point better this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":304.11,"endTime":304.74,"body":"time around. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":304.74,"endTime":308.94,"body":"maybe in a year, we will"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":304.74,"endTime":308.94,"body":"shift this one to, or we could"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":308.94,"endTime":311.79,"body":"get roasted for this one. Our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":308.94,"endTime":311.79,"body":"communication skills do change"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":311.79,"endTime":314.55,"body":"throughout our relationship."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":311.79,"endTime":314.55,"body":"Yeah, they do. Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":314.55,"endTime":317.01,"body":"As we as we grow and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":314.55,"endTime":317.01,"body":"mature and learn still more."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":317.52,"endTime":319.26,"body":"Yeah, it will always evolve."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":317.52,"endTime":319.26,"body":"Yes,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":319.29,"endTime":322.98,"body":"we are not perfect. Heck,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":319.29,"endTime":322.98,"body":"no, no, don't ever get that. No,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":322.98,"endTime":327.36,"body":"we're not perfect. We actually"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":322.98,"endTime":327.36,"body":"have a video or a clip from our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":327.36,"endTime":331.14,"body":"first recording. Oh, it was our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":327.36,"endTime":331.14,"body":"first podcast, each other. We"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":331.14,"endTime":334.77,"body":"were cussing, yelling, saying"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":331.14,"endTime":334.77,"body":"really ugly things to each"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":334.77,"endTime":337.17,"body":"other. And it was like a real"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":334.77,"endTime":337.17,"body":"life fight that we put out into"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":337.17,"endTime":339.63,"body":"the world to let you know that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":337.17,"endTime":339.63,"body":"we do struggle with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":339.63,"endTime":341.28,"body":"communication sometimes as well."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":342.21,"endTime":344.82,"body":"But apologies to me, I had"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":342.21,"endTime":344.82,"body":"some apologies to make after"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":344.82,"endTime":345.93,"body":"that one, too."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":345.93,"endTime":348.0,"body":"But that's the thing,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":345.93,"endTime":348.0,"body":"like we learn and we grow from"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":348.0,"endTime":351.36,"body":"it. And we I think this past"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":348.0,"endTime":351.36,"body":"year, we really learned a lot"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":351.39,"endTime":354.0,"body":"and how to communicate with each"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":351.39,"endTime":354.0,"body":"other better. Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":354.0,"endTime":357.15,"body":"We have. Okay, so Paige,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":354.0,"endTime":357.15,"body":"you're gonna, you're gonna"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":357.15,"endTime":361.02,"body":"basically run this. Sure. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":357.15,"endTime":361.02,"body":"get to sort of sit back and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":361.02,"endTime":364.5,"body":"enjoy and listen to your lovely"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":361.02,"endTime":364.5,"body":"voice and chime in. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":364.53,"endTime":367.65,"body":"well, it might go all"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":364.53,"endTime":367.65,"body":"over the place, but it should we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":367.65,"endTime":369.0,"body":"have some good tips for you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":369.03,"endTime":370.38,"body":"We've got an outline here."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":369.03,"endTime":370.38,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":370.89,"endTime":372.57,"body":"It's totally different"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":370.89,"endTime":372.57,"body":"than your outlines, though,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":372.57,"endTime":376.02,"body":"because I am all over the place."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":372.57,"endTime":376.02,"body":"Oh, really? Did you go through"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":376.02,"endTime":377.19,"body":"it? And were you did you did it?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":377.22,"endTime":379.56,"body":"I said, No, I didn't feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":377.22,"endTime":379.56,"body":"like at any point. It was all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":379.56,"endTime":380.91,"body":"over the place. Hey,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":380.91,"endTime":382.86,"body":"I'm just sick. I'm really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":380.91,"endTime":382.86,"body":"critical of myself. There's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":382.86,"endTime":385.98,"body":"probably some truth to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":382.86,"endTime":385.98,"body":"that. Yeah. Okay. Well, first, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":385.98,"endTime":388.53,"body":"just want to ask, like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":385.98,"endTime":388.53,"body":"what is communication?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":389.58,"endTime":395.07,"body":"Making noises, back and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":389.58,"endTime":395.07,"body":"forth? And grunts and nonverbal"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":395.07,"endTime":396.15,"body":"cues and things like that?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":396.63,"endTime":400.08,"body":"Yes. It's just the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":396.63,"endTime":400.08,"body":"process of exchanging expressing"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":400.08,"endTime":402.75,"body":"or conveying information and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":400.08,"endTime":402.75,"body":"ideas through writing, speaking"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":402.75,"endTime":406.53,"body":"and gesturing. That sums it up."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":402.75,"endTime":406.53,"body":"I mean, I think that we think"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":406.53,"endTime":408.3,"body":"way too hard about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":406.53,"endTime":408.3,"body":"communication. And that's why I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":408.3,"endTime":409.59,"body":"put the definition in there."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":410.04,"endTime":412.17,"body":"You think we think too"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":410.04,"endTime":412.17,"body":"hard about it or not enough?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":412.2,"endTime":413.64,"body":"Maybe not enough? Or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":413.64,"endTime":415.89,"body":"maybe it's just changed"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":413.64,"endTime":415.89,"body":"so much over the years that no"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":415.89,"endTime":418.32,"body":"one can communicate healthy"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":415.89,"endTime":418.32,"body":"anymore?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":419.43,"endTime":421.83,"body":"I don't want to derail"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":419.43,"endTime":421.83,"body":"this so early on, but I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":421.83,"endTime":425.1,"body":"that technology has drastically"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":421.83,"endTime":425.1,"body":"changed the way that we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":425.1,"endTime":428.16,"body":"communicate. Yeah, that plays a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":425.1,"endTime":428.16,"body":"huge role in the way that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":428.16,"endTime":430.98,"body":"communication has changed over"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":428.16,"endTime":430.98,"body":"even our even our lifetimes."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":431.43,"endTime":431.67,"body":"We're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":431.67,"endTime":434.22,"body":"going to have an episode"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":431.67,"endTime":434.22,"body":"on that. We can't get into that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":434.22,"endTime":434.73,"body":"right now."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":434.76,"endTime":438.54,"body":"It's episode because we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":434.76,"endTime":438.54,"body":"were I think the last generation"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":438.54,"endTime":443.07,"body":"of kids that grew up with and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":438.54,"endTime":443.07,"body":"without the Internet. Were for a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":443.28,"endTime":446.52,"body":"big part of our childhoods. We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":443.28,"endTime":446.52,"body":"didn't have technology. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":446.55,"endTime":449.1,"body":"And then it sort of came into"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":446.55,"endTime":449.1,"body":"into vogue. And I don't know, we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":449.1,"endTime":453.36,"body":"were probably in our teens. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":449.1,"endTime":453.36,"body":"I didn't I don't remember"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":453.36,"endTime":455.7,"body":"sending a text message until"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":453.36,"endTime":455.7,"body":"after high school. No,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":455.7,"endTime":457.95,"body":"yeah, that's true. We"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":455.7,"endTime":457.95,"body":"didn't have smartphones until"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":457.95,"endTime":459.63,"body":"after high school. But today"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":459.63,"endTime":462.24,"body":"is a younger generation,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":459.63,"endTime":462.24,"body":"even and some of our listeners"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":462.24,"endTime":464.28,"body":"communicate in a totally"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":462.24,"endTime":464.28,"body":"different fashion than we ever"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":464.28,"endTime":467.19,"body":"did. Yes. So I think there's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":464.28,"endTime":467.19,"body":"just so many more avenues to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":467.19,"endTime":471.84,"body":"communicate, and each one has"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":467.19,"endTime":471.84,"body":"its own set of like do's and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":471.84,"endTime":475.2,"body":"don'ts. And it's just, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":471.84,"endTime":475.2,"body":"gotten complicated, I would say,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":475.32,"endTime":477.72,"body":"yeah, yeah. Well, we're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":475.32,"endTime":477.72,"body":"gonna have an episode on that."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":477.75,"endTime":479.55,"body":"So that'd be fun for derailing"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":477.75,"endTime":479.55,"body":"us."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":479.58,"endTime":480.63,"body":"Okay, sorry, no, it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":480.63,"endTime":484.8,"body":"this. So, um, so"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":480.63,"endTime":484.8,"body":"sometimes we forget that what it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":484.8,"endTime":486.81,"body":"is, and we think that our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":484.8,"endTime":486.81,"body":"partner should be able to read"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":486.81,"endTime":489.54,"body":"our minds. Do you feel that? Do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":486.81,"endTime":489.54,"body":"you feel like I should, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":489.54,"endTime":492.54,"body":"should be able to read my mind"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":489.54,"endTime":492.54,"body":"sometimes? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":492.6,"endTime":496.92,"body":"yeah. You know, okay, I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":492.6,"endTime":496.92,"body":"just gonna put it out there. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":496.92,"endTime":499.38,"body":"know, how men always say, like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":496.92,"endTime":499.38,"body":"we can't read your minds. We're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":499.38,"endTime":502.71,"body":"not supposed to read your minds."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":499.38,"endTime":502.71,"body":"That's true sometimes. But I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":502.71,"endTime":505.59,"body":"think, in general, when you when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":502.71,"endTime":505.59,"body":"you've been in a long term"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":505.59,"endTime":509.1,"body":"relationship, you can read"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":505.59,"endTime":509.1,"body":"people pretty well. But it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":509.1,"endTime":511.95,"body":"really convenient to say, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":509.1,"endTime":511.95,"body":"can't read your mind right now."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":512.43,"endTime":516.42,"body":"And full disclosure, I have used"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":512.43,"endTime":516.42,"body":"that when I definitely knew what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":516.42,"endTime":521.67,"body":"you wanted. But I didn't. Don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":516.42,"endTime":521.67,"body":"look at me like, but I just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":521.67,"endTime":522.06,"body":"said,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":522.089,"endTime":526.109,"body":"your, your body language"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":522.089,"endTime":526.109,"body":"is like this. This is why don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":526.109,"endTime":528.059,"body":"hit me. I'm not going to hit"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":526.109,"endTime":528.059,"body":"you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":528.24,"endTime":531.15,"body":"But yeah, I think a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":528.24,"endTime":531.15,"body":"guys have used that trick before"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":531.15,"endTime":534.24,"body":"was I can't read your mind. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":531.15,"endTime":534.24,"body":"I totally could have assumed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":534.24,"endTime":537.54,"body":"what you need to do that moment."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":534.24,"endTime":537.54,"body":"But I just didn't do it because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":537.54,"endTime":540.84,"body":"I didn't feel like it. But there"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":537.54,"endTime":540.84,"body":"have also been other times where"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":540.84,"endTime":543.39,"body":"I truly couldn't read your mind."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":540.84,"endTime":543.39,"body":"I'm like, what do you expect"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":543.39,"endTime":546.57,"body":"from me? So it's been used as a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":543.39,"endTime":546.57,"body":"convenient excuse. It's also"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":546.57,"endTime":550.02,"body":"been used as a valid excuse. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":546.57,"endTime":550.02,"body":"just admitted that every guy"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":550.02,"endTime":553.83,"body":"right now is like, slamming the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":550.02,"endTime":553.83,"body":"dash and they are at adults tell"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":553.83,"endTime":556.41,"body":"them that thanks for that, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":553.83,"endTime":556.41,"body":"it's true. It's true. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":556.44,"endTime":560.43,"body":"okay, listen, like think about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":556.44,"endTime":560.43,"body":"it. Your dog, your dog can't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":560.43,"endTime":564.06,"body":"communicate verbally. Well, some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":560.43,"endTime":564.06,"body":"can I know some dogs that will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":564.06,"endTime":566.97,"body":"like memorable dog. Are you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":564.06,"endTime":566.97,"body":"serious? Like the dog would like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":567.0,"endTime":570.51,"body":"chomp at you and that is the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":567.0,"endTime":570.51,"body":"time I need to go outside but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":570.51,"endTime":573.72,"body":"body language nonverbal cues"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":570.51,"endTime":573.72,"body":"time of the day like you know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":573.72,"endTime":576.33,"body":"what your animal needs and it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":573.72,"endTime":576.33,"body":"can't talk you can sort of you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":576.33,"endTime":579.78,"body":"could argue I can read its mind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":576.33,"endTime":579.78,"body":"yeah, you know, so okay, like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":579.81,"endTime":583.26,"body":"yeah, we're smart enough to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":579.81,"endTime":583.26,"body":"assume what people need at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":583.26,"endTime":585.42,"body":"certain times but not all the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":583.26,"endTime":585.42,"body":"time."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":586.08,"endTime":589.41,"body":"I was just I need to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":586.08,"endTime":589.41,"body":"change this entire episodes. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":589.41,"endTime":590.52,"body":"just blow the whole thing."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":589.41,"endTime":590.52,"body":"Oh,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":590.52,"endTime":591.87,"body":"you did? We"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":591.87,"endTime":594.18,"body":"can we can be real about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":591.87,"endTime":594.18,"body":"this. Just move."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":595.53,"endTime":598.32,"body":"Well, thank you for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":595.53,"endTime":598.32,"body":"admitting that you do going back"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":598.32,"endTime":601.02,"body":"the curtain on that just a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":598.32,"endTime":601.02,"body":"moment. Uh, thank you for that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":601.02,"endTime":604.89,"body":"accountability. So whenever we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":601.02,"endTime":604.89,"body":"communicate typically like we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":604.89,"endTime":606.99,"body":"don't listen to the other"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":604.89,"endTime":606.99,"body":"person's perspective, we just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":606.99,"endTime":610.92,"body":"want to win. Right? It's wrapped"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":606.99,"endTime":610.92,"body":"up in ego. Yeah, there's a ton"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":610.92,"endTime":615.69,"body":"of ego that's wrapped up in it."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":610.92,"endTime":615.69,"body":"Yeah. And whenever you want to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":615.69,"endTime":619.5,"body":"have healthy communication, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":615.69,"endTime":619.5,"body":"have to have trust and mutual"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":619.5,"endTime":622.05,"body":"respect. It boils down to that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":622.11,"endTime":625.11,"body":"I agree with that. 100% is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":622.11,"endTime":625.11,"body":"that has to be the underlying"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":625.11,"endTime":626.31,"body":"foundation. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":626.34,"endTime":628.98,"body":"So I mean, it's about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":626.34,"endTime":628.98,"body":"listening and finding solutions"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":628.98,"endTime":633.36,"body":"based on logic and you know,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":628.98,"endTime":633.36,"body":"reasoning with not much emotion"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":633.39,"endTime":636.45,"body":"in it, like you can have emotion"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":633.39,"endTime":636.45,"body":"in it. But whenever you are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":636.45,"endTime":639.48,"body":"reasoning with somebody who you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":636.45,"endTime":639.48,"body":"trust, it's so much easier to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":639.48,"endTime":644.34,"body":"communicate. Yeah, absolutely."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":639.48,"endTime":644.34,"body":"So when we have something to get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":644.34,"endTime":647.85,"body":"off our chest or need to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":644.34,"endTime":647.85,"body":"communicate our needs, it's so"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":647.85,"endTime":652.98,"body":"much healthier than it used to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":647.85,"endTime":652.98,"body":"be. We actually actively listen"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":652.98,"endTime":655.95,"body":"to each other intentional on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":652.98,"endTime":655.95,"body":"what we're saying what we're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":655.95,"endTime":659.07,"body":"listening to, we stick to one"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":655.95,"endTime":659.07,"body":"topic at a time, and we pick our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":659.07,"endTime":659.76,"body":"battles."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":660.48,"endTime":662.7,"body":"Do you think we do all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":660.48,"endTime":662.7,"body":"those things pretty well? I do."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":663.12,"endTime":665.13,"body":"Okay, I guess I'm a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":663.12,"endTime":665.13,"body":"perfectionist. I look at it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":665.13,"endTime":671.85,"body":"Like I could do better at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":665.13,"endTime":671.85,"body":"probably all the above. But I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":671.85,"endTime":673.68,"body":"a much better listener than I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":671.85,"endTime":673.68,"body":"used to be. Sure."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":673.71,"endTime":676.71,"body":"Okay. That's Yes. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":673.71,"endTime":676.71,"body":"that's probably your downfall is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":676.71,"endTime":679.68,"body":"actively listening. Like you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":676.71,"endTime":679.68,"body":"just listening because you get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":679.68,"endTime":680.7,"body":"very distracted."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":680.73,"endTime":685.8,"body":"I have ADHD, and it's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":680.73,"endTime":685.8,"body":"an excuse, but it's my blind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":685.8,"endTime":688.74,"body":"brain goes all over the place."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":685.8,"endTime":688.74,"body":"It's hard to keep it focused. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":688.74,"endTime":691.8,"body":"have to like, sometimes I'll be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":688.74,"endTime":691.8,"body":"staring at you and like, don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":691.8,"endTime":694.77,"body":"look at anything else. Just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":691.8,"endTime":694.77,"body":"listen, just listen. It's it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":694.77,"endTime":696.63,"body":"takes a lot of intention. The"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":696.63,"endTime":701.16,"body":"thing that I have to work"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":696.63,"endTime":701.16,"body":"on, mostly in our relationship"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":701.16,"endTime":705.42,"body":"with communication is not being"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":701.16,"endTime":705.42,"body":"defensive. I do get defensive"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":705.45,"endTime":707.85,"body":"pretty quickly. So that's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":705.45,"endTime":707.85,"body":"something that I've been"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":707.85,"endTime":710.31,"body":"intentional about on trying to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":707.85,"endTime":710.31,"body":"correct."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":710.67,"endTime":713.88,"body":"Yeah, yeah, you do get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":710.67,"endTime":713.88,"body":"defensive pretty quick. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":713.91,"endTime":716.61,"body":"You agree? Yeah. Is it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":713.91,"endTime":716.61,"body":"weird that I'm owning something,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":716.61,"endTime":717.09,"body":"or I was trying"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":717.09,"endTime":718.86,"body":"to bait you into getting"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":717.09,"endTime":718.86,"body":"defensive just now and you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":718.86,"endTime":719.43,"body":"didn't take it?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":722.49,"endTime":727.44,"body":"Grow? Right. Okay, so"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":722.49,"endTime":727.44,"body":"we're gonna dig deep into this"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":727.44,"endTime":730.38,"body":"in just a second. But I wanted"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":727.44,"endTime":730.38,"body":"to talk about how stress can"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":730.38,"endTime":734.16,"body":"make communication way more"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":730.38,"endTime":734.16,"body":"difficult. Yeah, because I have"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":734.16,"endTime":737.04,"body":"to say, like, within the past"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":734.16,"endTime":737.04,"body":"week, when we have been"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":737.04,"endTime":739.53,"body":"stressful, a little stress,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":737.04,"endTime":739.53,"body":"we've had a little extra stress"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":739.53,"endTime":743.16,"body":"on our plate. Our communication"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":739.53,"endTime":743.16,"body":"kind of goes back to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":743.16,"endTime":745.65,"body":"what it used to be breaks"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":743.16,"endTime":745.65,"body":"down a bit. It does."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":746.82,"endTime":750.09,"body":"So like we revert to our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":746.82,"endTime":750.09,"body":"old ways, with the defending the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":750.09,"endTime":752.67,"body":"reacting, the justifying the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":750.09,"endTime":752.67,"body":"blaming the raising of our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":752.67,"endTime":756.06,"body":"voices, but each time we become"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":752.67,"endTime":756.06,"body":"aware of what we're doing, and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":756.06,"endTime":759.3,"body":"we make an effort to change it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":756.06,"endTime":759.3,"body":"the next time. Yes, so it's like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":759.3,"endTime":762.6,"body":"this, obviously, like anything"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":759.3,"endTime":762.6,"body":"in life that has to grow, your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":762.6,"endTime":764.79,"body":"communication skills go up and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":762.6,"endTime":764.79,"body":"down. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":764.79,"endTime":766.86,"body":"I think that the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":764.79,"endTime":766.86,"body":"expectation should never be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":766.86,"endTime":768.54,"body":"perfection. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":768.57,"endTime":772.95,"body":"yeah. But we trust each"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":768.57,"endTime":772.95,"body":"other. So when this stuff"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":772.95,"endTime":776.88,"body":"happens, we don't take what the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":772.95,"endTime":776.88,"body":"other saying, personally,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":777.27,"endTime":779.76,"body":"because we know is an issue"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":777.27,"endTime":779.76,"body":"within them. And that just needs"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":779.76,"endTime":783.39,"body":"to be processed. But we also"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":779.76,"endTime":783.39,"body":"hold ourselves accountable when"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":783.39,"endTime":785.88,"body":"they are addressing something"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":783.39,"endTime":785.88,"body":"that we did that affected them."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":786.06,"endTime":789.24,"body":"You know, you own it, apologize,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":786.06,"endTime":789.24,"body":"and promise to do better going"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":789.24,"endTime":792.45,"body":"forward. So let's say you need"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":789.24,"endTime":792.45,"body":"to be held accountable for when"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":792.45,"endTime":794.79,"body":"it happens again, say something"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":792.45,"endTime":794.79,"body":"along the lines of if I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":794.79,"endTime":797.1,"body":"communicate in a way that hurts"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":794.79,"endTime":797.1,"body":"your feelings, do you mind"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":797.1,"endTime":799.98,"body":"pausing for a moment and telling"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":797.1,"endTime":799.98,"body":"me so I can be aware?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":800.4,"endTime":803.4,"body":"Oh, this happens in just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":800.4,"endTime":803.4,"body":"general not even just in basic"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":803.4,"endTime":808.2,"body":"communication. But like, quick,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":803.4,"endTime":808.2,"body":"personal story, I've got this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":808.2,"endTime":813.78,"body":"terrible habit of like, just, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":808.2,"endTime":813.78,"body":"just moved too quickly through"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":813.78,"endTime":818.22,"body":"life. If we're in public, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":813.78,"endTime":818.22,"body":"let's say that we leave our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":818.22,"endTime":822.09,"body":"seats from an event and go to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":818.22,"endTime":822.09,"body":"the restroom, I will be I will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":822.09,"endTime":825.15,"body":"walk in front of you, like 20 to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":822.09,"endTime":825.15,"body":"30 steps, like as fast as I can,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":825.15,"endTime":827.7,"body":"because I were going to the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":825.15,"endTime":827.7,"body":"restroom, I want to get that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":827.7,"endTime":830.34,"body":"done as fast as possible and get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":827.7,"endTime":830.34,"body":"back to where I'm going. I have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":830.34,"endTime":834.27,"body":"a really hard time. Not all the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":830.34,"endTime":834.27,"body":"time. But most of the time, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":834.27,"endTime":837.72,"body":"would say just being present."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":834.27,"endTime":837.72,"body":"And everything to me is like a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":837.72,"endTime":840.03,"body":"task. And it's like how can I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":837.72,"endTime":840.03,"body":"get this task done as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":840.03,"endTime":843.81,"body":"efficiently as possible? But in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":840.03,"endTime":843.81,"body":"doing that, I leave you behind."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":843.84,"endTime":847.8,"body":"Yes. And for you. It's like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":843.84,"endTime":847.8,"body":"it's sort of disrespectful. It"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":847.8,"endTime":852.75,"body":"bothers me. You take it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":847.8,"endTime":852.75,"body":"Personally. I do. Yes. Like this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":852.75,"endTime":856.14,"body":"last week. And you even said to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":852.75,"endTime":856.14,"body":"me, I like and you were"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":856.14,"endTime":858.54,"body":"triggered when you said like I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":856.14,"endTime":858.54,"body":"hate when you do this stop"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":858.54,"endTime":861.81,"body":"walking in front of me. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":858.54,"endTime":861.81,"body":"It's like it's embarrassing. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":862.05,"endTime":864.54,"body":"my first thought is like to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":862.05,"endTime":864.54,"body":"react and get mad at you and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":864.54,"endTime":866.61,"body":"tell you that you shouldn't feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":864.54,"endTime":866.61,"body":"that way. And it's not that big"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":866.61,"endTime":870.48,"body":"of a deal. But now I can stop"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":866.61,"endTime":870.48,"body":"and pause and you're just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":870.48,"endTime":874.02,"body":"letting me know basically that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":870.48,"endTime":874.02,"body":"That hurts my feelings when you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":874.02,"endTime":877.14,"body":"do that. Could you be more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":874.02,"endTime":877.14,"body":"considerate? Yeah. And then I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":877.14,"endTime":879.81,"body":"don't know two minutes later, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":877.14,"endTime":879.81,"body":"did it again. And then you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":879.81,"endTime":883.05,"body":"reminded me again, or maybe I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":879.81,"endTime":883.05,"body":"even caught myself. You caught"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":883.05,"endTime":885.57,"body":"yourself but that turned around"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":883.05,"endTime":885.57,"body":"and I'm like, I'm sorry. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":885.57,"endTime":887.88,"body":"when you catch me doing that to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":885.57,"endTime":887.88,"body":"say something? Yeah. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":887.88,"endTime":890.25,"body":"promise you I'm going to work at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":887.88,"endTime":890.25,"body":"it right. It just takes time to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":890.25,"endTime":891.63,"body":"train myself to do it. Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":891.63,"endTime":895.5,"body":"I'm I apologize for going"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":891.63,"endTime":895.5,"body":"at you I it was a reaction"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":895.5,"endTime":899.22,"body":"instead of saying hey, do you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":895.5,"endTime":899.22,"body":"mind you know, stop walking with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":899.22,"endTime":901.17,"body":"me instead of going laying in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":899.22,"endTime":901.17,"body":"front of me, because it does"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":901.17,"endTime":903.87,"body":"kind of hurt my feelings. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":901.17,"endTime":903.87,"body":"like I could have totally"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":903.87,"endTime":906.03,"body":"handled that better. But this is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":903.87,"endTime":906.03,"body":"kind of what I was talking about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":906.03,"endTime":909.21,"body":"with stress like I had been,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":906.03,"endTime":909.21,"body":"there was a lot going on. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":909.21,"endTime":912.63,"body":"not an excuse. And it is not an"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":909.21,"endTime":912.63,"body":"excuse for the way that I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":912.66,"endTime":916.59,"body":"reacted. But that I know that me"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":912.66,"endTime":916.59,"body":"I don't always react like that."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":916.59,"endTime":920.04,"body":"But I know when I do react that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":916.59,"endTime":920.04,"body":"way, or I come at you that way."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":920.04,"endTime":922.2,"body":"There's usually something going"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":920.04,"endTime":922.2,"body":"on within me. Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":922.2,"endTime":923.25,"body":"I realize that too."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":924.39,"endTime":927.18,"body":"It's a two way street."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":924.39,"endTime":927.18,"body":"Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":928.26,"endTime":930.96,"body":"yeah, so good. But there's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":928.26,"endTime":930.96,"body":"there's a foundation of trust"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":930.96,"endTime":934.8,"body":"and understanding there. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":930.96,"endTime":934.8,"body":"think that that's maybe"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":934.8,"endTime":937.59,"body":"something the preface this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":934.8,"endTime":937.59,"body":"entire conversation with is I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":937.59,"endTime":941.76,"body":"think healthy communication"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":937.59,"endTime":941.76,"body":"takes place when there's trust"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":942.09,"endTime":945.27,"body":"in the relationship, and there's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":942.09,"endTime":945.27,"body":"safety in the relationship. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":945.27,"endTime":949.32,"body":"it becomes very hard to build"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":945.27,"endTime":949.32,"body":"that. But once you do, it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":949.32,"endTime":953.16,"body":"becomes you're capable of having"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":949.32,"endTime":953.16,"body":"this type of communication."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":953.28,"endTime":958.59,"body":"Yeah. And so during your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":953.28,"endTime":958.59,"body":"early recovery, I had a lot of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":958.59,"endTime":960.66,"body":"patience for you to rewire your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":958.59,"endTime":960.66,"body":"brain and how you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":960.66,"endTime":963.66,"body":"communicating, right? You've"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":960.66,"endTime":963.66,"body":"been pretty patient with me,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":963.66,"endTime":967.98,"body":"because I've had to change my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":963.66,"endTime":967.98,"body":"communication style as well. I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":967.98,"endTime":970.59,"body":"a little bit behind you in my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":967.98,"endTime":970.59,"body":"recovery. Obviously, it took me"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":970.59,"endTime":975.0,"body":"a lot longer. But I'm not as"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":970.59,"endTime":975.0,"body":"impulsive as I used to be. Even"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":975.0,"endTime":978.78,"body":"though that was an example of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":975.0,"endTime":978.78,"body":"how I did revert to my old ways,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":978.78,"endTime":982.02,"body":"and you still have patience for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":978.78,"endTime":982.02,"body":"me. Which is kind. Thank you."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":982.26,"endTime":987.81,"body":"I mean, why wouldn't I? I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":982.26,"endTime":987.81,"body":"mean, I look at it as like, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":987.81,"endTime":994.77,"body":"both of our first time being"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":987.81,"endTime":994.77,"body":"alive on this planet. And like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":994.77,"endTime":998.22,"body":"no one's perfect. And we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":994.77,"endTime":998.22,"body":"trying and I think that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":998.22,"endTime":1000.92,"body":"everyone's suffering from the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":998.22,"endTime":1000.92,"body":"pains of growing up at varying"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1000.92,"endTime":1005.12,"body":"degrees. And never forget that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1000.92,"endTime":1005.12,"body":"Yeah, like have compassion and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1005.12,"endTime":1007.49,"body":"empathy for people as they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1005.12,"endTime":1007.49,"body":"trying to figure things out."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1007.52,"endTime":1011.15,"body":"Even if it hurts you, in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1007.52,"endTime":1011.15,"body":"moment understand. They're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1011.15,"endTime":1014.3,"body":"trying to figure something out."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1011.15,"endTime":1014.3,"body":"But since you trust me, because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1014.3,"endTime":1017.72,"body":"I trust what you're going I'm I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1014.3,"endTime":1017.72,"body":"trust that we're essentially on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1017.72,"endTime":1020.93,"body":"the same page. Right? And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1017.72,"endTime":1020.93,"body":"trust that you're, you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1020.93,"endTime":1024.08,"body":"actually working on it, right? I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1020.93,"endTime":1024.08,"body":"guess it'd be a lot more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1024.08,"endTime":1026.63,"body":"frustrating to have this kind of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1024.08,"endTime":1026.63,"body":"conversation if someone wasn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1026.63,"endTime":1028.82,"body":"working at it. Yes. I'm just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1026.63,"endTime":1028.82,"body":"thinking about our listeners,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1028.82,"endTime":1031.88,"body":"like, well, that'd be sounds"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1028.82,"endTime":1031.88,"body":"great. And all but it's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1031.88,"endTime":1033.8,"body":"really possible for me right"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1031.88,"endTime":1033.8,"body":"now. Right?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1033.8,"endTime":1036.08,"body":"But this could later on,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1033.8,"endTime":1036.08,"body":"this is what you can look"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1036.08,"endTime":1039.53,"body":"forward to in any type of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1036.08,"endTime":1039.53,"body":"relationship you're in, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1039.53,"endTime":1041.72,"body":"know, that's kind of the basis"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1039.53,"endTime":1041.72,"body":"of this or even think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1041.72,"endTime":1044.12,"body":"about it, maybe not with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1041.72,"endTime":1044.12,"body":"your spouse or significant other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1044.15,"endTime":1047.12,"body":"partner, just other people in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1044.15,"endTime":1047.12,"body":"your life. Yes. So you've got an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1047.12,"endTime":1051.02,"body":"adult child. So you've got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1047.12,"endTime":1051.02,"body":"friends, co workers, think about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1051.02,"endTime":1055.19,"body":"this. Yep. It's applicable for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1051.02,"endTime":1055.19,"body":"those types of relationships?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1055.22,"endTime":1055.37,"body":"For"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1055.37,"endTime":1059.93,"body":"sure. Alright, so I asked"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1055.37,"endTime":1059.93,"body":"our wheelies, what some issues"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1059.93,"endTime":1063.53,"body":"they're struggling with with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1059.93,"endTime":1063.53,"body":"within communication. Oh, yes. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1063.53,"endTime":1065.6,"body":"just pulled out a few. Thank you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1063.53,"endTime":1065.6,"body":"for the feedback on that as"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1065.6,"endTime":1068.48,"body":"well. Yes. Oh, my gosh, there"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1065.6,"endTime":1068.48,"body":"was so much feedback. And it was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1068.51,"endTime":1071.93,"body":"everyone felt less alone. And I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1068.51,"endTime":1071.93,"body":"think that was a great little"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1071.93,"endTime":1076.16,"body":"process. But some of the main"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1071.93,"endTime":1076.16,"body":"issues are trust, communicating"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1076.16,"endTime":1078.98,"body":"feelings without a fight"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1076.16,"endTime":1078.98,"body":"actively listening. So like if"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1078.98,"endTime":1081.32,"body":"someone's watching TV or on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1078.98,"endTime":1081.32,"body":"their phone or doing you know,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1081.32,"endTime":1085.28,"body":"has HD ADHD, taking things"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1081.32,"endTime":1085.28,"body":"personally when feelings are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1085.28,"endTime":1089.18,"body":"being addressed, expectations"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1085.28,"endTime":1089.18,"body":"and mind reading, and then other"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1089.18,"endTime":1093.95,"body":"person shutting down and getting"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1089.18,"endTime":1093.95,"body":"defensive. So how do we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1093.95,"endTime":1097.46,"body":"communicate better? Let's get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1093.95,"endTime":1097.46,"body":"some solutions here."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1097.49,"endTime":1100.97,"body":"Let's do it based on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1097.49,"endTime":1100.97,"body":"those, so she's Yes, yes,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1101.0,"endTime":1106.64,"body":"it's kind of going to go"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1101.0,"endTime":1106.64,"body":"in a little work, you'll see. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1106.64,"endTime":1109.43,"body":"the whole trust thing we've"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1106.64,"endTime":1109.43,"body":"discussed multiple times. So you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1109.43,"endTime":1111.8,"body":"both have to have mutual trust,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1109.43,"endTime":1111.8,"body":"since living events have been"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1111.8,"endTime":1115.07,"body":"made. That's what we have, we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1111.8,"endTime":1115.07,"body":"respect each other. And like he"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1115.07,"endTime":1118.1,"body":"just said, this is during later"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1115.07,"endTime":1118.1,"body":"recovery, or with somebody who's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1118.1,"endTime":1121.76,"body":"not an act of addiction. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1118.1,"endTime":1121.76,"body":"that's going to be if you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1121.76,"endTime":1123.56,"body":"with someone an act of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1121.76,"endTime":1123.56,"body":"addiction, there's not going to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1123.56,"endTime":1126.14,"body":"be trust there. So it is going"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1123.56,"endTime":1126.14,"body":"to be hard to communicate. You"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1126.14,"endTime":1128.99,"body":"can do your part, but your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1126.14,"endTime":1128.99,"body":"expectations have to be very low"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1128.99,"endTime":1133.46,"body":"on the other person's heart."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1128.99,"endTime":1133.46,"body":"Yeah, right. So communicating"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1133.46,"endTime":1138.2,"body":"feelings without a fight, so you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1133.46,"endTime":1138.2,"body":"can't control or you can't know"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1138.2,"endTime":1141.08,"body":"if your partner is going to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1138.2,"endTime":1141.08,"body":"fight you or not. So this is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1141.08,"endTime":1143.81,"body":"when you go in with little"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1141.08,"endTime":1143.81,"body":"explicit expectations and know"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1143.81,"endTime":1148.04,"body":"how to handle yourself if a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1143.81,"endTime":1148.04,"body":"fight does start. So you go with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1148.04,"endTime":1151.79,"body":"I feel statements. Here's an"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1148.04,"endTime":1151.79,"body":"example. I feel unheard when you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1151.79,"endTime":1154.1,"body":"watch TV while I'm trying to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1151.79,"endTime":1154.1,"body":"have a conversation."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1155.3,"endTime":1159.41,"body":"That's not how you say."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1155.3,"endTime":1159.41,"body":"It's not No, how do I say get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1159.41,"endTime":1161.21,"body":"off your damn phone. Hey, I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1161.21,"endTime":1164.36,"body":"gotten more better at"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1161.21,"endTime":1164.36,"body":"this. That's usually how it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1164.36,"endTime":1170.9,"body":"goes. No. Are you serious? Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1164.36,"endTime":1170.9,"body":"I'm gaslighting you right now."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1170.93,"endTime":1171.14,"body":"For"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1171.14,"endTime":1175.1,"body":"sure. That's okay. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1171.14,"endTime":1175.1,"body":"I know the point. And I know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1175.1,"endTime":1178.49,"body":"that when you say that what you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1175.1,"endTime":1178.49,"body":"mean is, I don't feel heard when"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1178.49,"endTime":1179.69,"body":"you're not paying attention to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1178.49,"endTime":1179.69,"body":"me."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1179.72,"endTime":1181.82,"body":"Yeah, but that's messed"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1179.72,"endTime":1181.82,"body":"up on my part. I need to come in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1181.82,"endTime":1184.34,"body":"and with a little bit more"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1181.82,"endTime":1184.34,"body":"compassion. If you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1184.34,"endTime":1186.83,"body":"said it this way. I can"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1184.34,"endTime":1186.83,"body":"tell you right now I would feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1186.86,"endTime":1190.25,"body":"awful and I'd be like, Oh crap,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1186.86,"endTime":1190.25,"body":"I'm sorry. Get off your damn"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1190.25,"endTime":1193.73,"body":"phone sounds more like an order"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1190.25,"endTime":1193.73,"body":"from like a parent or something."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1194.78,"endTime":1198.62,"body":"Damn. But I'm just telling you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1194.78,"endTime":1198.62,"body":"like, yeah, it's much more"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1198.62,"endTime":1200.75,"body":"effective to use I feel"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1198.62,"endTime":1200.75,"body":"statements because you don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1200.75,"endTime":1203.48,"body":"feel attacked in that moment."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1200.75,"endTime":1203.48,"body":"Yeah, just letting someone know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1203.48,"endTime":1207.86,"body":"how you feel. Okay. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1203.48,"endTime":1207.86,"body":"usually jump My ass is what you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1207.86,"endTime":1208.04,"body":"do."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1209.389,"endTime":1211.699,"body":"It's probably not gonna"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1209.389,"endTime":1211.699,"body":"Okay, you're right. I'm not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1211.699,"endTime":1214.249,"body":"going to justify it. I'm trying"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1211.699,"endTime":1214.249,"body":"to justify this with a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1214.25,"endTime":1217.97,"body":"really smart remark you'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1214.25,"endTime":1217.97,"body":"say something like, or you'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1217.97,"endTime":1221.66,"body":"just hop and pop and say, I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1217.97,"endTime":1221.66,"body":"gonna talk to you right now."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1221.69,"endTime":1223.88,"body":"Or I'll just say, Can you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1221.69,"endTime":1223.88,"body":"please get off your phone? I've"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1223.88,"endTime":1226.91,"body":"said that before. Can you please"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1223.88,"endTime":1226.91,"body":"pay attention? Can you please do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1226.91,"endTime":1228.17,"body":"this? Yeah, it might"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1228.17,"endTime":1230.51,"body":"be my tone. That's always"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1228.17,"endTime":1230.51,"body":"do you have a tone? Yeah, the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1230.51,"endTime":1231.65,"body":"kids say you have a main voice."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1231.68,"endTime":1235.04,"body":"I do have a main voice."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1231.68,"endTime":1235.04,"body":"Apparently. I think that this"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1235.07,"endTime":1237.92,"body":"episode is going to be very"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1235.07,"endTime":1237.92,"body":"beneficial for me."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1238.1,"endTime":1241.13,"body":"Okay, you're learning"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1238.1,"endTime":1241.13,"body":"here? That's processing your own"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1241.13,"endTime":1242.18,"body":"issues. Oh, yeah. Because"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1242.18,"endTime":1245.0,"body":"I was going to justify"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1242.18,"endTime":1245.0,"body":"why I react that way. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1245.0,"endTime":1247.28,"body":"not going to justify it. Because"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1245.0,"endTime":1247.28,"body":"you're right. I'm just going to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1247.28,"endTime":1250.16,"body":"own it and say, I can do better"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1247.28,"endTime":1250.16,"body":"with the way that I approach"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1250.16,"endTime":1250.37,"body":"this."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1250.4,"endTime":1255.29,"body":"As Can I ask and I should"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1250.4,"endTime":1255.29,"body":"get for tat Here we go. No, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1255.47,"endTime":1258.17,"body":"I'm terrible at limiting"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1255.47,"endTime":1258.17,"body":"distractions. Knowing what I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1258.17,"endTime":1261.08,"body":"know about myself and how my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1258.17,"endTime":1261.08,"body":"brain works. I shouldn't have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1261.11,"endTime":1264.23,"body":"distractions around me. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1261.11,"endTime":1264.23,"body":"when I when I have to do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1264.26,"endTime":1267.71,"body":"intensive work. I put my phone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1264.26,"endTime":1267.71,"body":"in a different room. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1267.71,"endTime":1272.42,"body":"yes. That's a new thing."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1267.71,"endTime":1272.42,"body":"But yeah, but also recently, we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1272.42,"endTime":1275.45,"body":"had, I was trying to have an"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1272.42,"endTime":1275.45,"body":"important conversation with you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1275.45,"endTime":1279.05,"body":"and you just like change the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1275.45,"endTime":1279.05,"body":"subject pretty quickly. And it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1279.05,"endTime":1283.52,"body":"irritates me so much. My brain"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1279.05,"endTime":1283.52,"body":"just went oh my god, it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1283.52,"endTime":1286.76,"body":"irritates me because I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1283.52,"endTime":1286.76,"body":"I'm I'm really trying to have a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1286.76,"endTime":1292.16,"body":"conversation with you. And you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1286.76,"endTime":1292.16,"body":"made me feel unheard and felt"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1292.16,"endTime":1295.28,"body":"disregarded when you is that a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1292.16,"endTime":1295.28,"body":"word? That sounded weird"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1295.28,"endTime":1299.12,"body":"disregard? Yeah. Yeah. Senator,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1295.28,"endTime":1299.12,"body":"that story of my life anyway."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1299.6,"endTime":1303.44,"body":"And you started talking about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1299.6,"endTime":1303.44,"body":"something completely opposite."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1303.44,"endTime":1306.41,"body":"I'm like, Okay, does my do my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1303.44,"endTime":1306.41,"body":"feelings not matter right now,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1306.41,"endTime":1309.32,"body":"like, this doesn't feel good. It"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1306.41,"endTime":1309.32,"body":"sucks."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1311.03,"endTime":1313.58,"body":"And these types of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1311.03,"endTime":1313.58,"body":"conversations are possible. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1313.58,"endTime":1315.71,"body":"just want to say, I know this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1313.58,"endTime":1315.71,"body":"sounds weird. It's like who"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1315.71,"endTime":1320.09,"body":"actually talks this way? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1315.71,"endTime":1320.09,"body":"we do. Yeah, we do. And we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1320.09,"endTime":1325.22,"body":"learned this in therapy, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1320.09,"endTime":1325.22,"body":"marriage counseling. This is,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1325.58,"endTime":1328.64,"body":"this is what it looks like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1325.58,"endTime":1328.64,"body":"using I feel statements just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1328.85,"endTime":1332.09,"body":"being out there with things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1328.85,"endTime":1332.09,"body":"rather than just letting it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1332.09,"endTime":1335.54,"body":"slide and ignoring it, and then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1332.09,"endTime":1335.54,"body":"hoping it's going to get better"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1335.54,"endTime":1338.48,"body":"or having the expectation is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1335.54,"endTime":1338.48,"body":"going to be different. And then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1338.48,"endTime":1342.38,"body":"that creates a resentment and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1338.48,"endTime":1342.38,"body":"then it just snowballs. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1342.41,"endTime":1345.14,"body":"just address these things in a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1342.41,"endTime":1345.14,"body":"kind, loving manner. Own your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1345.14,"endTime":1348.47,"body":"feelings in it. Let someone know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1345.14,"endTime":1348.47,"body":"how it makes you feel when they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1348.47,"endTime":1351.59,"body":"do XYZ. And you start to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1348.47,"endTime":1351.59,"body":"somewhere,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1351.8,"endTime":1355.4,"body":"yes, no, but if the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1351.8,"endTime":1355.4,"body":"person still becomes defensive,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1355.46,"endTime":1359.57,"body":"and you know, ugly about it, or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1355.46,"endTime":1359.57,"body":"something, then step away and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1359.57,"endTime":1362.48,"body":"address it at another time, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1359.57,"endTime":1362.48,"body":"might need to go to a therapist"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1362.48,"endTime":1364.04,"body":"and talk to them about that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1362.48,"endTime":1364.04,"body":"counseling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1364.04,"endTime":1366.44,"body":"is great. It really is. It"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1364.04,"endTime":1366.44,"body":"really is like, it's it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1366.44,"endTime":1366.92,"body":"wonderful."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1366.95,"endTime":1369.95,"body":"Yeah, we I think we say"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1366.95,"endTime":1369.95,"body":"that, like every episode, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1369.95,"endTime":1372.71,"body":"hope people recognize that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1369.95,"endTime":1372.71,"body":"it's really beneficial. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1372.71,"endTime":1374.3,"body":"seriously. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1374.3,"endTime":1377.81,"body":"so the next one is it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1374.3,"endTime":1377.81,"body":"kind of sensitive, because it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1377.81,"endTime":1381.26,"body":"what we discussed in the last"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1377.81,"endTime":1381.26,"body":"communication expectations"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1381.26,"endTime":1383.72,"body":"in mind reading. Yeah, so"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1383.72,"endTime":1387.2,"body":"this is going to, in our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1383.72,"endTime":1387.2,"body":"last episode about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1387.2,"endTime":1390.53,"body":"communication, we made comments"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1387.2,"endTime":1390.53,"body":"about how you can ask your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1390.53,"endTime":1396.83,"body":"partner to help you around the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1390.53,"endTime":1396.83,"body":"house. And I think that we need"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1396.83,"endTime":1399.95,"body":"to use the term you know, pull"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1396.83,"endTime":1399.95,"body":"their weight instead of help,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1399.98,"endTime":1403.22,"body":"because it's not like you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1399.98,"endTime":1403.22,"body":"helping me do household things"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1403.22,"endTime":1407.48,"body":"around the house. It's you live"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1403.22,"endTime":1407.48,"body":"here, too. It's your part to do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1407.63,"endTime":1410.84,"body":"your part in the home. Right."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1407.63,"endTime":1410.84,"body":"Like it's your responsibility of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1410.84,"endTime":1413.27,"body":"the work and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1410.84,"endTime":1413.27,"body":"responsibility for keeping up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1413.27,"endTime":1414.71,"body":"with the home. Yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1414.71,"endTime":1418.67,"body":"So when your partner"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1414.71,"endTime":1418.67,"body":"doesn't do what we think they"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1418.67,"endTime":1420.95,"body":"should be doing automatically,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1418.67,"endTime":1420.95,"body":"we're expecting them to be mind"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1420.95,"endTime":1424.82,"body":"reader's, which is a cognitive"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1420.95,"endTime":1424.82,"body":"distortion. We take it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1424.82,"endTime":1427.1,"body":"personally. And then we get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1424.82,"endTime":1427.1,"body":"angry when they don't do what we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1427.1,"endTime":1430.61,"body":"think they should be doing. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1427.1,"endTime":1430.61,"body":"in a perfect world, we marry"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1430.61,"endTime":1433.1,"body":"someone who knows how to take"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1430.61,"endTime":1433.1,"body":"care of themselves and pull"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1433.1,"endTime":1435.71,"body":"their weight in the home. But"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1433.1,"endTime":1435.71,"body":"this isn't a perfect world in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1435.71,"endTime":1438.77,"body":"our society is in the middle of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1435.71,"endTime":1438.77,"body":"shifting roles to be more equal."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1439.67,"endTime":1444.44,"body":"Yeah, better. Men are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1439.67,"endTime":1444.44,"body":"primarily bad at this. I would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1444.44,"endTime":1447.56,"body":"say I think that this is echoed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1444.44,"endTime":1447.56,"body":"with just about every man I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1447.56,"endTime":1450.44,"body":"know. I think I think of my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1447.56,"endTime":1450.44,"body":"friend group and everything"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1450.44,"endTime":1452.84,"body":"else, like maybe some are better"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1450.44,"endTime":1452.84,"body":"than others. But for the most"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1452.84,"endTime":1455.69,"body":"part, this is something I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1452.84,"endTime":1455.69,"body":"struggle with. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1455.72,"endTime":1461.39,"body":"yeah. And for years, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1455.72,"endTime":1461.39,"body":"had I took it personally because"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1461.42,"endTime":1465.74,"body":"I felt like you were taking"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1461.42,"endTime":1465.74,"body":"advantage or you were"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1465.74,"endTime":1469.34,"body":"neglecting? Or you know, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1465.74,"endTime":1469.34,"body":"just weren't really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1470.0,"endTime":1473.6,"body":"acknowledging that I was doing"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1470.0,"endTime":1473.6,"body":"things. So it made me feel very"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1473.6,"endTime":1476.03,"body":"alone, because I was doing"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1473.6,"endTime":1476.03,"body":"everything around the house and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1476.03,"endTime":1478.91,"body":"you weren't helping me. But I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1476.03,"endTime":1478.91,"body":"got to a point where I was like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1479.06,"endTime":1482.51,"body":"in multiple therapy sessions,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1479.06,"endTime":1482.51,"body":"actually it was with my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1482.51,"endTime":1486.56,"body":"individual and with our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1482.51,"endTime":1486.56,"body":"counseling, is that or marriage"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1487.19,"endTime":1491.18,"body":"is that you can ask for somebody"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1487.19,"endTime":1491.18,"body":"to do something. And it's not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1491.18,"endTime":1494.06,"body":"asking for help. It's just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1491.18,"endTime":1494.06,"body":"asking to do something around"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1494.06,"endTime":1498.23,"body":"the house. It's okay. Like we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1494.06,"endTime":1498.23,"body":"put this aside thinking that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1498.23,"endTime":1501.41,"body":"they need to do this and they"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1498.23,"endTime":1501.41,"body":"should do No, and it makes us"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1501.41,"endTime":1504.14,"body":"feel bad. But men, honestly, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1501.41,"endTime":1504.14,"body":"could do a little bit better."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1505.25,"endTime":1507.95,"body":"We could but I think that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1505.25,"endTime":1507.95,"body":"the issue comes from the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1507.95,"endTime":1511.55,"body":"expectation that's probably not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1507.95,"endTime":1511.55,"body":"communicated. And that's what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1511.55,"endTime":1516.38,"body":"the whole segment was about the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1511.55,"endTime":1516.38,"body":"last time that this is my belief"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1516.38,"endTime":1520.19,"body":"and I stand by this, I'll die on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1516.38,"endTime":1520.19,"body":"the Hill that uncommunicative"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1520.22,"endTime":1524.12,"body":"expectations are resentments in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1520.22,"endTime":1524.12,"body":"the making apps, they are, they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1524.12,"endTime":1528.17,"body":"are the the architecture that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1524.12,"endTime":1528.17,"body":"will set up huge rifts in a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1528.17,"endTime":1531.89,"body":"relationship later down the line"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1528.17,"endTime":1531.89,"body":"if they're not addressed. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1531.89,"endTime":1534.53,"body":"this issue of household chores"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1531.89,"endTime":1534.53,"body":"and what's to be done, what's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1534.53,"endTime":1539.0,"body":"not, there are some people who"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1534.53,"endTime":1539.0,"body":"will do these things. And if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1539.0,"endTime":1541.19,"body":"they're not getting help, rather"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1539.0,"endTime":1541.19,"body":"than addressing it, they'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1541.19,"endTime":1544.13,"body":"just, they'll get hurt by that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1541.19,"endTime":1544.13,"body":"They'll get angry by that."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1544.61,"endTime":1548.21,"body":"Rather than communicating it,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1544.61,"endTime":1548.21,"body":"they'll just get mad, they'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1548.24,"endTime":1551.54,"body":"start to feel like someone's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1548.24,"endTime":1551.54,"body":"absolutely worthless, that they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1551.54,"endTime":1556.61,"body":"don't respect me. And like I see"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1551.54,"endTime":1556.61,"body":"both sides of this. I completely"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1556.61,"endTime":1559.04,"body":"understand it was it's primarily"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1556.61,"endTime":1559.04,"body":"women that were that I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1559.04,"endTime":1562.58,"body":"getting roasted by Yeah. That"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1559.04,"endTime":1562.58,"body":"said, like, you're you're an"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1562.58,"endTime":1564.65,"body":"adult, like you're telling me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1562.58,"endTime":1564.65,"body":"that you can't walk by the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1564.65,"endTime":1568.07,"body":"trash? No, it needs to be taken"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1564.65,"endTime":1568.07,"body":"out. Like that's supposed to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1568.07,"endTime":1571.37,"body":"my job. Right. And I that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1568.07,"endTime":1571.37,"body":"completely valid. I totally"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1571.37,"endTime":1575.36,"body":"understand that. Yeah. My only"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1571.37,"endTime":1575.36,"body":"contention to that at all is in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1575.36,"endTime":1578.63,"body":"the context of communication. If"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1575.36,"endTime":1578.63,"body":"there's an issue, we should talk"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1578.63,"endTime":1581.75,"body":"about it, we should address it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1578.63,"endTime":1581.75,"body":"Yes. Is it bad that you have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1581.75,"endTime":1586.34,"body":"ask someone to take the trash"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1581.75,"endTime":1586.34,"body":"out? Yes, yeah. Yes, yeah. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1586.37,"endTime":1588.98,"body":"how do we solve that problem,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1586.37,"endTime":1588.98,"body":"right, we communicate, they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1588.98,"endTime":1592.82,"body":"communicate. Now we can get into"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1588.98,"endTime":1592.82,"body":"why men are this way. Now? We're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1592.82,"endTime":1596.63,"body":"not gonna get to that. I think,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1592.82,"endTime":1596.63,"body":"just on a, you know, on a small"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1596.63,"endTime":1600.65,"body":"tangent, I think that the way"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1596.63,"endTime":1600.65,"body":"that boys are raised by their"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1600.65,"endTime":1604.88,"body":"mothers, yes. Think back, think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1600.65,"endTime":1604.88,"body":"back a generation or two. It was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1604.88,"endTime":1607.28,"body":"primarily the men was the head"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1604.88,"endTime":1607.28,"body":"of household. We talked about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1607.28,"endTime":1609.2,"body":"this when it comes to men's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1607.28,"endTime":1609.2,"body":"purpose. And like what's going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1609.2,"endTime":1613.1,"body":"on with men? Women were the head"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1609.2,"endTime":1613.1,"body":"of household women took care of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1613.1,"endTime":1617.21,"body":"these things. Like it's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1613.1,"endTime":1617.21,"body":"uncommon to find men who don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1617.21,"endTime":1620.15,"body":"really know how to do laundry,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1617.21,"endTime":1620.15,"body":"or have never really cleaned up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1620.15,"endTime":1622.34,"body":"because their mothers did this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1620.15,"endTime":1622.34,"body":"for them. I'm talking about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1622.34,"endTime":1624.89,"body":"like, like younger 20s males."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1622.34,"endTime":1624.89,"body":"Yeah, like they go out in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1624.89,"endTime":1627.44,"body":"world without really knowing how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1624.89,"endTime":1627.44,"body":"to do a lot of this stuff. Some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1627.44,"endTime":1631.37,"body":"of its cultural, depending on"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1627.44,"endTime":1631.37,"body":"where you're from, or, you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1631.4,"endTime":1636.98,"body":"the background that you have."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1631.4,"endTime":1636.98,"body":"But it's, you know, in a lot of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1636.98,"endTime":1639.77,"body":"cases, I think that women think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1636.98,"endTime":1639.77,"body":"that they are getting in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1639.77,"endTime":1643.58,"body":"relationships with like, these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1639.77,"endTime":1643.58,"body":"finished products when it's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1643.58,"endTime":1646.76,"body":"the case. Yeah, never basically"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1643.58,"endTime":1646.76,"body":"getting, because in a perfect"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1646.76,"endTime":1650.27,"body":"world, this teenager, this like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1646.76,"endTime":1650.27,"body":"young boy, comes to domestic"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1650.27,"endTime":1653.84,"body":"household duties and whatnot."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1650.27,"endTime":1653.84,"body":"Yeah. And I think that the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1653.84,"endTime":1657.2,"body":"communication is the, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1653.84,"endTime":1657.2,"body":"what's going to solve this."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1657.29,"endTime":1659.6,"body":"Well, yeah. But there's so many"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1657.29,"endTime":1659.6,"body":"other people that are so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1659.6,"endTime":1662.15,"body":"resentful, so angry about this,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1659.6,"endTime":1662.15,"body":"that they're basically just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1662.15,"endTime":1666.17,"body":"saying, I shouldn't have to ask"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1662.15,"endTime":1666.17,"body":"you, right, you shouldn't. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1666.17,"endTime":1667.07,"body":"what if you did"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1667.22,"endTime":1671.27,"body":"try it? It made my life"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1667.22,"endTime":1671.27,"body":"so much easier. When he brought"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1671.27,"endTime":1674.87,"body":"it up. What happened? You, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1671.27,"endTime":1674.87,"body":"helped me and then yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1674.87,"endTime":1677.45,"body":"was, I was embarrassed by"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1674.87,"endTime":1677.45,"body":"it. I was like, Oh, help wrap"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1677.45,"endTime":1680.78,"body":"like Holly. Yeah, absolutely."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1677.45,"endTime":1680.78,"body":"Oh, you're right. Well, I say"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1680.78,"endTime":1682.91,"body":"that because I was a stay"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1680.78,"endTime":1682.91,"body":"at home mom. So this was really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1682.91,"endTime":1686.48,"body":"hard for me to navigate. That"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1682.91,"endTime":1686.48,"body":"was our things that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1687.05,"endTime":1690.05,"body":"I worked, who stayed at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1687.05,"endTime":1690.05,"body":"home to care the kids and it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1690.05,"endTime":1693.5,"body":"not, we didn't really sit down"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1690.05,"endTime":1693.5,"body":"and go over the piece of paper."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1693.5,"endTime":1695.54,"body":"It's like, okay, this is what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1693.5,"endTime":1695.54,"body":"I'm supposed to do. And this is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1695.54,"endTime":1696.23,"body":"what you're supposed to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1696.26,"endTime":1698.03,"body":"write. And there's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1696.26,"endTime":1698.03,"body":"nothing wrong with doing that."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1698.06,"endTime":1698.48,"body":"Well,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1698.51,"endTime":1701.66,"body":"I think it could be even"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1698.51,"endTime":1701.66,"body":"helpful to understand like, this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1701.66,"endTime":1704.39,"body":"is what I would need help with,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1701.66,"endTime":1704.39,"body":"here's what I will take care of,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1704.39,"endTime":1708.05,"body":"here's what you will take care"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1704.39,"endTime":1708.05,"body":"of, I think in the 1950s sort of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1708.41,"endTime":1711.44,"body":"way I we looked at this when we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1708.41,"endTime":1711.44,"body":"first started this arrangement"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1711.44,"endTime":1715.94,"body":"was that domestic duties you'd"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1711.44,"endTime":1715.94,"body":"handle running the kids around"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1715.94,"endTime":1717.89,"body":"and everything else, and I would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1715.94,"endTime":1717.89,"body":"handle everything outside of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1717.89,"endTime":1721.52,"body":"that finances and all that good"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1717.89,"endTime":1721.52,"body":"stuff. Right? And I would mow"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1721.52,"endTime":1724.46,"body":"the yard if that was my thing."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1721.52,"endTime":1724.46,"body":"Yeah, you did yard stuff would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1724.46,"endTime":1728.48,"body":"mow the yard. But we never"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1724.46,"endTime":1728.48,"body":"really discussed, there will be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1728.48,"endTime":1730.64,"body":"certain times where I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1728.48,"endTime":1730.64,"body":"need help one way or the other."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1730.73,"endTime":1733.4,"body":"Right. And I did the same thing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1730.73,"endTime":1733.4,"body":"where I would take on like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1733.4,"endTime":1736.64,"body":"there was a lot of stuff. When"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1733.4,"endTime":1736.64,"body":"it came to setting up accounts"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1736.64,"endTime":1740.33,"body":"for I don't know, like phone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1736.64,"endTime":1740.33,"body":"bills, or cable or whatever else"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1740.33,"endTime":1746.0,"body":"like technically that's in my,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1740.33,"endTime":1746.0,"body":"my arena. Right. But I think you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1746.0,"endTime":1748.31,"body":"helped with that stuff. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1746.0,"endTime":1748.31,"body":"absolutely. It was a matter of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1748.31,"endTime":1751.52,"body":"me asking for help. I think a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1748.31,"endTime":1751.52,"body":"lot of time this other it's not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1751.52,"endTime":1753.59,"body":"getting communicated the other"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1751.52,"endTime":1753.59,"body":"way around. And you're right,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1753.59,"endTime":1757.43,"body":"you shouldn't have to ask, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1753.59,"endTime":1757.43,"body":"if you want the whole point of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1757.43,"endTime":1759.2,"body":"that episode, and I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1757.43,"endTime":1759.2,"body":"communication in general, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1759.2,"endTime":1762.11,"body":"still believe in this is that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1759.2,"endTime":1762.11,"body":"it's an excellent way to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1762.11,"endTime":1764.21,"body":"what you need out of a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1762.11,"endTime":1764.21,"body":"relationship is just communicate"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1764.21,"endTime":1768.17,"body":"what you need. Yes, this is what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1764.21,"endTime":1768.17,"body":"I need. Yeah, here's why would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1768.17,"endTime":1770.57,"body":"you help me with this? Right?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1768.17,"endTime":1770.57,"body":"Most people are going to say,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1770.57,"endTime":1774.11,"body":"Yeah, I got you. They might even"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1770.57,"endTime":1774.11,"body":"moan about it for a moment, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1774.11,"endTime":1776.78,"body":"the end of the day, you're gonna"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1774.11,"endTime":1776.78,"body":"get the help you need. I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1776.78,"endTime":1778.97,"body":"that a lot of people's like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1776.78,"endTime":1778.97,"body":"feel that there's just sort of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1778.97,"endTime":1781.1,"body":"ego thing. It's like, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1778.97,"endTime":1781.1,"body":"shouldn't have to ask that's how"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1781.1,"endTime":1784.97,"body":"I felt. It was very weird. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1781.1,"endTime":1784.97,"body":"understand it, but at the end of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1784.97,"endTime":1787.25,"body":"the day, like what is that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1784.97,"endTime":1787.25,"body":"benefiting? If you're not going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1787.25,"endTime":1790.79,"body":"to ask and then stay upset with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1787.25,"endTime":1790.79,"body":"this person. It's almost like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1790.79,"endTime":1796.28,"body":"you're agreeing at that point."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1790.79,"endTime":1796.28,"body":"To pick up that load and the I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1796.28,"endTime":1800.3,"body":"guess your your actions that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1796.28,"endTime":1800.3,"body":"you're just gonna stay angry"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1800.3,"endTime":1803.21,"body":"with him, and you're just gonna"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1800.3,"endTime":1803.21,"body":"live in this unhappy environment"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1803.24,"endTime":1806.39,"body":"and nothing gets resolved."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1803.24,"endTime":1806.39,"body":"Because you feel like you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1806.39,"endTime":1808.52,"body":"shouldn't have to say anything"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1806.39,"endTime":1808.52,"body":"and like, you can do that that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1808.52,"endTime":1811.73,"body":"fine and well, but it's just not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1808.52,"endTime":1811.73,"body":"going anywhere. And that was our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1811.73,"endTime":1813.89,"body":"entire point was that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1811.73,"endTime":1813.89,"body":"communication can solve these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1813.89,"endTime":1814.67,"body":"problems right"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1814.67,"endTime":1817.97,"body":"now, if you do bring this"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1814.67,"endTime":1817.97,"body":"up to your partner, and they"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1817.97,"endTime":1820.28,"body":"say, No, that's your job, I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1817.97,"endTime":1820.28,"body":"not helping you, then you need"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1820.28,"endTime":1822.83,"body":"to reevaluate, you know, we got"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1820.28,"endTime":1822.83,"body":"a problem. That's a problem,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1822.86,"endTime":1823.16,"body":"right?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1823.16,"endTime":1825.35,"body":"Yeah, you're right. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1823.16,"endTime":1825.35,"body":"said it. And of course, valuate"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1825.35,"endTime":1828.17,"body":"the whole relationship, we have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1825.35,"endTime":1828.17,"body":"a fundamental issue here,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1828.17,"endTime":1831.17,"body":"right? Yeah. Like I had"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1828.17,"endTime":1831.17,"body":"always, when in active"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1831.17,"endTime":1834.2,"body":"addiction, it was difficult for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1831.17,"endTime":1834.2,"body":"me to ask for things because it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1834.2,"endTime":1836.87,"body":"didn't get done. If I did ask"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1834.2,"endTime":1836.87,"body":"for things, it's likely not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1836.87,"endTime":1839.63,"body":"going to do it, write about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1836.87,"endTime":1839.63,"body":"something else or say you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1839.63,"endTime":1842.72,"body":"gonna do it. So that was a very"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1839.63,"endTime":1842.72,"body":"unhealthy situation. But now"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1842.72,"endTime":1846.08,"body":"outside of that, it is okay to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1842.72,"endTime":1846.08,"body":"ask, Hey, pull your weight."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1846.23,"endTime":1850.46,"body":"Okay. So that will, we're done"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1846.23,"endTime":1850.46,"body":"with that part. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1850.49,"endTime":1854.27,"body":"as far as mind reading"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1850.49,"endTime":1854.27,"body":"goes, now, now that we've had"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1854.27,"endTime":1857.87,"body":"some in depth discussions about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1854.27,"endTime":1857.87,"body":"responsibilities that you need"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1857.87,"endTime":1860.0,"body":"help with, because it is too"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1857.87,"endTime":1860.0,"body":"much for especially when you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1860.0,"endTime":1862.7,"body":"have kids, it's too much for one"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1860.0,"endTime":1862.7,"body":"person to handle you've got,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1863.18,"endTime":1866.03,"body":"like, obviously, we all make our"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1863.18,"endTime":1866.03,"body":"own little messes, but you've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1866.03,"endTime":1870.02,"body":"got two little kids and their"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1866.03,"endTime":1870.02,"body":"friends that will make, like, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1870.02,"endTime":1874.04,"body":"mean, they will completely ruin"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1870.02,"endTime":1874.04,"body":"a house. Within an hour. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1874.07,"endTime":1877.43,"body":"it's like I can't I don't I have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1874.07,"endTime":1877.43,"body":"a lot of things to do. I don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1877.43,"endTime":1880.46,"body":"have time to help to fix all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1877.43,"endTime":1880.46,"body":"this crap. I'm gonna need your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1880.46,"endTime":1883.76,"body":"help. So when I get home now,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1880.46,"endTime":1883.76,"body":"and I see that the sink is full"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1883.76,"endTime":1886.25,"body":"of dishes and you're busy doing"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1883.76,"endTime":1886.25,"body":"something else, I'm just gonna"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1886.25,"endTime":1888.68,"body":"take care of the dishes. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1886.25,"endTime":1888.68,"body":"obviously, you need help,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1888.74,"endTime":1892.04,"body":"because you've communicated it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1888.74,"endTime":1892.04,"body":"to me. Exactly. It's not like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1892.04,"endTime":1894.53,"body":"you just said, Don't worry, I'll"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1892.04,"endTime":1894.53,"body":"get to those later, I got this,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1894.56,"endTime":1897.23,"body":"which is what I assumed in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1894.56,"endTime":1897.23,"body":"beginning, but now you've let me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1897.23,"endTime":1899.96,"body":"know, I'm gonna need help with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1897.23,"endTime":1899.96,"body":"this stuff. When you see it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1900.35,"endTime":1903.56,"body":"Grab it. Right. Okay, totally"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1900.35,"endTime":1903.56,"body":"fine. You got it. No problem,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1903.62,"endTime":1906.77,"body":"again, help. People got"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1903.62,"endTime":1906.77,"body":"really triggered by"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1906.77,"endTime":1909.68,"body":"that by the word help."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1906.77,"endTime":1909.68,"body":"Yes. I mean, what else would you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1909.68,"endTime":1910.79,"body":"call it? pulling your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1910.79,"endTime":1913.49,"body":"weight? Because it's when"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1910.79,"endTime":1913.49,"body":"you say they told you, they were"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1913.49,"endTime":1918.05,"body":"saying when you say that you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1913.49,"endTime":1918.05,"body":"need help that says that you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1918.05,"endTime":1921.71,"body":"responsible for everything, and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1918.05,"endTime":1921.71,"body":"you just need help. And it just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1921.71,"endTime":1927.92,"body":"got misconstrued. It really did"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1921.71,"endTime":1927.92,"body":"like it did not in our, but in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1927.92,"endTime":1929.81,"body":"our arrangement, it made sense"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1927.92,"endTime":1929.81,"body":"for us."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1931.01,"endTime":1934.49,"body":"At home mom in general,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1931.01,"endTime":1934.49,"body":"okay, I see that point, right?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1934.49,"endTime":1936.68,"body":"If you're in the context of what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1934.49,"endTime":1936.68,"body":"we were talking about, which was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1936.71,"endTime":1937.64,"body":"our life, like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1937.64,"endTime":1940.58,"body":"if you're both working,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1937.64,"endTime":1940.58,"body":"like that makes sense, for sure."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1940.61,"endTime":1944.33,"body":"Because you, I mean, you should"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1940.61,"endTime":1944.33,"body":"have equal even then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1944.33,"endTime":1946.04,"body":"I think that you should"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1944.33,"endTime":1946.04,"body":"help each other out when they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1946.04,"endTime":1948.86,"body":"struggling. But you have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1946.04,"endTime":1948.86,"body":"communicate it let people know."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1948.89,"endTime":1949.61,"body":"Yeah, you still"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1949.64,"endTime":1951.83,"body":"there's nothing wrong"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1949.64,"endTime":1951.83,"body":"with it, it's there. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1951.86,"endTime":1953.93,"body":"there's nothing wrong with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1951.86,"endTime":1953.93,"body":"asking it, it's just gonna you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1953.93,"endTime":1956.39,"body":"have to put your ego aside, and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1953.93,"endTime":1956.39,"body":"it's okay. And it works. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1956.39,"endTime":1959.0,"body":"it's amazing. And it will make"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1956.39,"endTime":1959.0,"body":"your relationships so much"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":1959.0,"endTime":1959.6,"body":"stronger. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1959.63,"endTime":1963.2,"body":"there are times I come"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1959.63,"endTime":1963.2,"body":"home, and like, I've had a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1963.2,"endTime":1965.12,"body":"really rough day, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1963.2,"endTime":1965.12,"body":"overwhelmed with a million"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1965.12,"endTime":1969.59,"body":"things I have going on at the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1965.12,"endTime":1969.59,"body":"office. And I will need help. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1969.59,"endTime":1972.26,"body":"will need help with something"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1969.59,"endTime":1972.26,"body":"that's part of my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1972.26,"endTime":1974.87,"body":"responsibility. Like, I will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1972.26,"endTime":1974.87,"body":"help like, Hey, could you look"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1974.87,"endTime":1978.2,"body":"into this account and, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1974.87,"endTime":1978.2,"body":"settle that out or call customer"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1978.2,"endTime":1980.87,"body":"service, whatever it is, and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1978.2,"endTime":1980.87,"body":"you'll do it, but I gotta let"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1980.87,"endTime":1984.53,"body":"you know, if I come home just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1980.87,"endTime":1984.53,"body":"angry and feel like you're not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1984.53,"endTime":1986.84,"body":"going to help me or that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1984.53,"endTime":1986.84,"body":"should know that I'm struggling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1986.84,"endTime":1990.26,"body":"right now. Rather than"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1986.84,"endTime":1990.26,"body":"communicating it. The that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1990.26,"endTime":1993.29,"body":"responsibility of being upset"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1990.26,"endTime":1993.29,"body":"actually lays within me. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1993.32,"endTime":1996.38,"body":"at that point. Yeah. That's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1993.32,"endTime":1996.38,"body":"going to piss people off. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1996.38,"endTime":1999.11,"body":"it's true. Just trying to help"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1996.38,"endTime":1999.11,"body":"people communicate better."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":1999.11,"endTime":1999.53,"body":"That's all."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2000.34,"endTime":2002.17,"body":"It's all right. Some"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2000.34,"endTime":2002.17,"body":"things you're not going to like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2002.17,"endTime":2008.5,"body":"what we say. That's all right."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2002.17,"endTime":2008.5,"body":"It works for us. So agreeing to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2008.5,"endTime":2010.84,"body":"disagree, you don't have to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2008.5,"endTime":2010.84,"body":"agree on everything. This is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2010.84,"endTime":2014.38,"body":"another thing in communication."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2010.84,"endTime":2014.38,"body":"Can you think of anything"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2014.38,"endTime":2016.54,"body":"recently that we've had to agree"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2014.38,"endTime":2016.54,"body":"to disagree on?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2017.11,"endTime":2019.9,"body":"Yeah, it's like family"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2017.11,"endTime":2019.9,"body":"stuff, holidays coming around?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2019.9,"endTime":2021.88,"body":"Like, what are we going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2019.9,"endTime":2021.88,"body":"attend? What do we not stuff"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2021.88,"endTime":2022.36,"body":"like that?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2022.39,"endTime":2026.38,"body":"Okay, yep, that's true."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2022.39,"endTime":2026.38,"body":"But you did, it's respectful. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2026.38,"endTime":2026.89,"body":"okay,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2026.98,"endTime":2030.16,"body":"I'm gonna do this, you do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2026.98,"endTime":2030.16,"body":"that? You know, good. High five."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2030.16,"endTime":2030.55,"body":"Okay."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2030.7,"endTime":2034.3,"body":"All right. Move on. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2030.7,"endTime":2034.3,"body":"Knowing when to step away and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2034.3,"endTime":2037.36,"body":"take a breather. So say you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2034.3,"endTime":2037.36,"body":"in a heated argument and things"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2037.36,"endTime":2041.29,"body":"are just getting, you know, way"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2037.36,"endTime":2041.29,"body":"too fired up. It's okay. To step"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2041.29,"endTime":2046.75,"body":"away and say, I need to go"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2041.29,"endTime":2046.75,"body":"collect myself for a moment and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2046.78,"endTime":2050.44,"body":"take a breather, like Tofana"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2046.78,"endTime":2050.44,"body":"healthy, but I mean, a lot of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2050.44,"endTime":2054.01,"body":"people will say, Oh, that's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2050.44,"endTime":2054.01,"body":"narcissistic. Some people will"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2054.01,"endTime":2057.16,"body":"say that it's because you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2054.01,"endTime":2057.16,"body":"deflecting, or you're putting it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2057.19,"endTime":2060.22,"body":"and shoving it under the rug or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2057.19,"endTime":2060.22,"body":"whatnot, but you're not. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2060.22,"endTime":2063.55,"body":"okay to take a breather and step"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2060.22,"endTime":2063.55,"body":"away from a conversation. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2063.55,"endTime":2068.26,"body":"okay to, you know, block people"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2063.55,"endTime":2068.26,"body":"from a little bit so that you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2068.26,"endTime":2072.43,"body":"don't have to be involved with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2068.26,"endTime":2072.43,"body":"the whatever's going on. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2072.43,"endTime":2075.61,"body":"okay to just take a step back or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2072.43,"endTime":2075.61,"body":"just not respond or not respond"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2075.61,"endTime":2076.12,"body":"to people,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2076.15,"endTime":2078.52,"body":"right and text or email."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2076.15,"endTime":2078.52,"body":"Right. That"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2078.52,"endTime":2080.62,"body":"was another thing that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2078.52,"endTime":2080.62,"body":"was on here. We'll just go ahead"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2080.71,"endTime":2082.75,"body":"and say no text fighting. Text"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2082.75,"endTime":2084.4,"body":"fighting is the most"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2082.75,"endTime":2084.4,"body":"useless form of flattery,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2084.97,"endTime":2088.45,"body":"productive form of fighting in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2084.97,"endTime":2088.45,"body":"general, I would say yes. Yes."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2088.45,"endTime":2090.58,"body":"No one reads the texts that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2088.45,"endTime":2090.58,"body":"just sent. They just want to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2090.58,"endTime":2091.72,"body":"send one in reply."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2091.749,"endTime":2093.939,"body":"It's all about your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2091.749,"endTime":2093.939,"body":"reaction. You're reacting."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2093.969,"endTime":2096.639,"body":"You're not letting this the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2093.969,"endTime":2096.639,"body":"world revolve before you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2096.639,"endTime":2097.869,"body":"actually respond."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2097.9,"endTime":2101.14,"body":"I have seen text fights go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2097.9,"endTime":2101.14,"body":"on for hours. For hours between"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2101.14,"endTime":2102.25,"body":"couples, oh yeah, we used"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2102.25,"endTime":2105.55,"body":"to text. We used to text"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2102.25,"endTime":2105.55,"body":"fight and it didn't do anything,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2105.55,"endTime":2108.13,"body":"it just made things worse. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2105.55,"endTime":2108.13,"body":"now we're just like, Ah, I don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2108.13,"endTime":2110.95,"body":"even have time for this. Like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2108.13,"endTime":2110.95,"body":"it just takes too much to text"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2110.95,"endTime":2115.06,"body":"fi we'll address it later on, or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2110.95,"endTime":2115.06,"body":"whenever it gets brought up"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2115.06,"endTime":2117.82,"body":"again, because I don't want to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2115.06,"endTime":2117.82,"body":"do it over text. Now it's we've"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2117.82,"endTime":2121.42,"body":"gotten better at that fighting."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2117.82,"endTime":2121.42,"body":"Yeah. Again, not getting"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2121.42,"endTime":2125.26,"body":"defensive. This will help you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2121.42,"endTime":2125.26,"body":"build a safe space to talk with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2125.26,"endTime":2128.95,"body":"one another and be vulnerable."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2125.26,"endTime":2128.95,"body":"So if you're not defensive, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2128.95,"endTime":2133.75,"body":"feel like you can actually open"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2128.95,"endTime":2133.75,"body":"up, you know what you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2133.75,"endTime":2136.72,"body":"feeling. So if I were to tell"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2133.75,"endTime":2136.72,"body":"you something about how I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2136.72,"endTime":2138.76,"body":"feeling, and you get really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2136.72,"endTime":2138.76,"body":"defensive about it, it's gonna"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2138.76,"endTime":2142.0,"body":"make me not want to tell you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2138.76,"endTime":2142.0,"body":"things in the future, because I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2142.0,"endTime":2145.6,"body":"don't feel so safe. That makes"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2142.0,"endTime":2145.6,"body":"sense. Yeah. And I have that's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2145.6,"endTime":2146.89,"body":"me, I get defensive."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2148.39,"endTime":2150.94,"body":"I still tell you things,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2148.39,"endTime":2150.94,"body":"though, you do? Because you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2150.94,"endTime":2153.07,"body":"don't take it personally. No,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2150.94,"endTime":2153.07,"body":"that's a you thing."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2153.13,"endTime":2156.07,"body":"It isn't me thing. And I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2153.13,"endTime":2156.07,"body":"know that there isn't anything,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2156.1,"endTime":2156.61,"body":"I just kind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2156.61,"endTime":2158.68,"body":"of let you feel it and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2156.61,"endTime":2158.68,"body":"then we'll get to the end of it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2159.16,"endTime":2163.66,"body":"Yep. It's okay. Like, I mean, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2159.16,"endTime":2163.66,"body":"guess I learned this at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2163.66,"endTime":2165.61,"body":"management is that people aren't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2163.66,"endTime":2165.61,"body":"going to always like what you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2165.61,"endTime":2166.06,"body":"say,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2166.3,"endTime":2168.64,"body":"yeah, yeah. And you're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2166.3,"endTime":2168.64,"body":"able to not take it personally,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2168.64,"endTime":2173.41,"body":"that's important. Almost fell."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2168.64,"endTime":2173.41,"body":"Validation comes from both"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2173.41,"endTime":2176.08,"body":"sides, we have to validate both"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2173.41,"endTime":2176.08,"body":"parties like each other. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2176.08,"endTime":2179.23,"body":"not just, I'm telling you how I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2176.08,"endTime":2179.23,"body":"feels you need to validate me,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2179.68,"endTime":2181.51,"body":"you have to validate the other"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2179.68,"endTime":2181.51,"body":"person as well. And that just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2181.51,"endTime":2183.55,"body":"means, you know, I understand"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2181.51,"endTime":2183.55,"body":"what you're going through, even"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2183.55,"endTime":2185.83,"body":"if you don't agree, validation,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2185.83,"endTime":2190.3,"body":"in my opinion, is the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2185.83,"endTime":2190.3,"body":"cause of and solution to most of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2190.3,"endTime":2193.9,"body":"the relationship problems that I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2190.3,"endTime":2193.9,"body":"see 100% There was an old"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2193.9,"endTime":2197.17,"body":"Simpsons quote that alcohol is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2193.9,"endTime":2197.17,"body":"the cause of and solution to all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2197.17,"endTime":2200.98,"body":"of life's problems, which is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2197.17,"endTime":2200.98,"body":"wow, it is not a solution by any"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2200.98,"endTime":2203.71,"body":"means. It's a funny joke."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2200.98,"endTime":2203.71,"body":"Obviously, we can appreciate but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2203.74,"endTime":2207.07,"body":"validation is oftentimes what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2203.74,"endTime":2207.07,"body":"I'll you get to people who have"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2207.07,"endTime":2210.52,"body":"just dug their heels in. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2207.07,"endTime":2210.52,"body":"they want to be heard and the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2210.52,"endTime":2213.19,"body":"other side refuses to hear them."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2210.52,"endTime":2213.19,"body":"And so what you get is just two"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2213.19,"endTime":2216.01,"body":"people who just not being"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2213.19,"endTime":2216.01,"body":"validated by each other. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2216.25,"endTime":2219.76,"body":"And they're just screaming"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2216.25,"endTime":2219.76,"body":"validate me. No, you validate"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2219.76,"endTime":2223.09,"body":"me? No, you validate me. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2219.76,"endTime":2223.09,"body":"then you just it's like, never"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2223.09,"endTime":2225.46,"body":"stop. Never circular like that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2223.09,"endTime":2225.46,"body":"just goes and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2225.82,"endTime":2230.71,"body":"goes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2225.82,"endTime":2230.71,"body":"see that a lot. Yep. All right."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2230.71,"endTime":2233.74,"body":"Compromising. Like goes along a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2230.71,"endTime":2233.74,"body":"lot, a lot."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2234.91,"endTime":2237.37,"body":"A relationship is just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2234.91,"endTime":2237.37,"body":"agreeing to disagree."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2237.4,"endTime":2239.74,"body":"Relationships are just a series"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2237.4,"endTime":2239.74,"body":"of compromises marriage, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2239.74,"endTime":2241.03,"body":"just a series of compromises."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2241.42,"endTime":2243.34,"body":"You're not gonna get what"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2241.42,"endTime":2243.34,"body":"you want. 100% of the time, it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2243.34,"endTime":2245.11,"body":"doesn't work that way. I don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2243.34,"endTime":2245.11,"body":"remember who"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2245.11,"endTime":2248.14,"body":"said the quote, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2245.11,"endTime":2248.14,"body":"there's a quote that says, There"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2248.14,"endTime":2251.74,"body":"are no such things in as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2248.14,"endTime":2251.74,"body":"decisions in life only"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2251.74,"endTime":2255.04,"body":"compromises this true, like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2251.74,"endTime":2255.04,"body":"whenever you decide to do one"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2255.04,"endTime":2258.16,"body":"thing you are in fact"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2255.04,"endTime":2258.16,"body":"compromising for another, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2258.16,"endTime":2260.5,"body":"are making a compromise to not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2258.16,"endTime":2260.5,"body":"do something else making a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2260.5,"endTime":2264.16,"body":"compromise to meet someone half"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2260.5,"endTime":2264.16,"body":"halfway, but like, good"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2264.16,"endTime":2268.9,"body":"negotiators compromisers this is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2264.16,"endTime":2268.9,"body":"like, you know, meet me halfway"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2269.53,"endTime":2273.52,"body":"or meet me the whole way and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2269.53,"endTime":2273.52,"body":"understand why and just, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2273.52,"endTime":2277.27,"body":"know, swallow your pride and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2273.52,"endTime":2277.27,"body":"compromises, man compromises."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2277.27,"endTime":2280.96,"body":"It's an it's a lost art in so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2277.27,"endTime":2280.96,"body":"many ways. Yeah, I read this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2280.96,"endTime":2284.02,"body":"book called never split the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2280.96,"endTime":2284.02,"body":"difference, which is actually"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2284.02,"endTime":2287.44,"body":"like the antithesis of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2284.02,"endTime":2287.44,"body":"compromise. But it was written"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2287.44,"endTime":2292.54,"body":"by an FBI hostage negotiator."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2287.44,"endTime":2292.54,"body":"And the book is about basically"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2292.57,"endTime":2297.55,"body":"how to get through some really,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2292.57,"endTime":2297.55,"body":"really difficult negotiations."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2298.45,"endTime":2301.3,"body":"Like he's talking to people who"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2298.45,"endTime":2301.3,"body":"are, you know, insane with guns"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2301.3,"endTime":2303.67,"body":"and whatnot. Yeah, but he has"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2301.3,"endTime":2303.67,"body":"some really, really effective"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2303.67,"endTime":2307.21,"body":"tools for how to get through to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2303.67,"endTime":2307.21,"body":"people in really, really bad"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2307.21,"endTime":2309.85,"body":"situations. Like when stuff gets"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2307.21,"endTime":2309.85,"body":"really hostile and people are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2309.85,"endTime":2313.15,"body":"arguing and fighting and you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2309.85,"endTime":2313.15,"body":"have to go the restroom. Don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2313.15,"endTime":2319.3,"body":"you do? You're bouncing all over"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2313.15,"endTime":2319.3,"body":"the place? Oh, my gosh. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2319.3,"endTime":2321.16,"body":"yeah, never split the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2319.3,"endTime":2321.16,"body":"difference, even though it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2321.19,"endTime":2324.31,"body":"sounds like there's no better"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2321.19,"endTime":2324.31,"body":"work. It's a way to get what you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2324.31,"endTime":2328.15,"body":"need, make people feel safe."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2324.31,"endTime":2328.15,"body":"Okay, it's a good one, I get a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2328.15,"endTime":2330.49,"body":"quick break in the action to let"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2328.15,"endTime":2330.49,"body":"you know about an exciting"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2330.49,"endTime":2332.86,"body":"development in the Tufo"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2330.49,"endTime":2332.86,"body":"universe. When we started this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2332.86,"endTime":2335.62,"body":"thing we said we would never"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2332.86,"endTime":2335.62,"body":"work with an advertiser or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2335.62,"endTime":2338.29,"body":"company unless it's something"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2335.62,"endTime":2338.29,"body":"that we believed in, and we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2338.29,"endTime":2339.16,"body":"already use."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2339.52,"endTime":2341.71,"body":"If you're looking for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2339.52,"endTime":2341.71,"body":"professional affordable mental"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2341.71,"endTime":2344.32,"body":"health care, look no further"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2341.71,"endTime":2344.32,"body":"than Taylor counseling group,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2344.32,"endTime":2347.05,"body":"your trusted source for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2344.32,"endTime":2347.05,"body":"accessible therapy and Texas."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2347.35,"endTime":2349.9,"body":"Taylor counseling group believes"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2347.35,"endTime":2349.9,"body":"that everyone deserves premium"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2349.9,"endTime":2352.78,"body":"mental health care regardless of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2349.9,"endTime":2352.78,"body":"their income level. That's why"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2352.78,"endTime":2355.3,"body":"they offer reliable and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2352.78,"endTime":2355.3,"body":"affordable services at 12"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2355.3,"endTime":2358.99,"body":"locations across Texas. They've"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2355.3,"endTime":2358.99,"body":"made affordability a priority."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2359.08,"endTime":2361.84,"body":"They are in network with most"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2359.08,"endTime":2361.84,"body":"major insurance and the standard"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2361.84,"endTime":2365.53,"body":"private rate is only $100 per"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2361.84,"endTime":2365.53,"body":"session, significantly lower"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2365.53,"endTime":2368.32,"body":"than many other practices"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2365.53,"endTime":2368.32,"body":"offering the same high quality"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2368.32,"endTime":2370.81,"body":"therapy. They believe that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2368.32,"endTime":2370.81,"body":"getting the help you need"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2370.81,"endTime":2373.45,"body":"shouldn't drain your wallet."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2370.81,"endTime":2373.45,"body":"scheduling an appointment is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2373.45,"endTime":2376.24,"body":"quick and easy with their"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2373.45,"endTime":2376.24,"body":"convenient online booking tool."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2376.54,"endTime":2380.02,"body":"No complicated processes or long"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2376.54,"endTime":2380.02,"body":"wait times. They value your time"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2380.02,"endTime":2383.08,"body":"and ensure that you can access"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2380.02,"endTime":2383.08,"body":"the care you deserve without any"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2383.08,"endTime":2383.65,"body":"hassle."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2383.83,"endTime":2386.08,"body":"It tailor counseling group"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2383.83,"endTime":2386.08,"body":"they believe in a personalized"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2386.08,"endTime":2388.12,"body":"approach to therapy."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2386.08,"endTime":2388.12,"body":"professionally trained"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2388.12,"endTime":2391.18,"body":"counselors offer a diverse range"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2388.12,"endTime":2391.18,"body":"of services including individual"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2391.18,"endTime":2394.81,"body":"counseling, couples counseling,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2391.18,"endTime":2394.81,"body":"family therapy, play therapy for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2394.81,"endTime":2397.72,"body":"children, and even specialized"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2394.81,"endTime":2397.72,"body":"techniques like cognitive"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2397.72,"endTime":2400.87,"body":"processing and existential"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2397.72,"endTime":2400.87,"body":"psychotherapy. We're here to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2400.87,"endTime":2403.3,"body":"help you navigate life's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2400.87,"endTime":2403.3,"body":"challenges and develop a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2403.3,"endTime":2405.97,"body":"personalized treatment plan"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2403.3,"endTime":2405.97,"body":"tailored to your unique goals."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2406.6,"endTime":2409.15,"body":"Tailor counseling group is your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2406.6,"endTime":2409.15,"body":"partner on the path of mental"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2409.15,"endTime":2411.7,"body":"wellness experienced"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2409.15,"endTime":2411.7,"body":"professional, affordable care"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2411.7,"endTime":2415.03,"body":"that puts you first visit their"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2411.7,"endTime":2415.03,"body":"website, tailor counseling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2415.03,"endTime":2418.18,"body":"group.com or call them today to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2415.03,"endTime":2418.18,"body":"schedule an appointment and tell"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2418.18,"endTime":2420.82,"body":"them to fo couple sent you a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2418.18,"endTime":2420.82,"body":"link and phone number is going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2420.82,"endTime":2423.34,"body":"to be available in the show"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2420.82,"endTime":2423.34,"body":"notes and back to the action."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2424.6,"endTime":2428.29,"body":"Okay, so what do our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2424.6,"endTime":2428.29,"body":"arguments look like? I kind of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2428.29,"endTime":2433.6,"body":"wanted to give an example of a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2428.29,"endTime":2433.6,"body":"recent recent situation that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2433.6,"endTime":2437.05,"body":"happens. So you had like, when"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2433.6,"endTime":2437.05,"body":"you have a stressful situation"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2437.05,"endTime":2438.97,"body":"and you bring it to my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2437.05,"endTime":2438.97,"body":"attention, I made three throw"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2438.97,"endTime":2443.47,"body":"out solutions. And you calmly"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2438.97,"endTime":2443.47,"body":"stopped me and you say, I don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2443.47,"endTime":2445.96,"body":"want solutions. Right now. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2443.47,"endTime":2445.96,"body":"just want to talk about how I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2445.96,"endTime":2450.1,"body":"feeling. And when you bring that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2445.96,"endTime":2450.1,"body":"to my attention, I pause and I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2450.1,"endTime":2453.16,"body":"say I'm sorry, I'm here for you."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2450.1,"endTime":2453.16,"body":"I'll listen. I don't get"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2453.16,"endTime":2457.3,"body":"defensive or try to justify why"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2453.16,"endTime":2457.3,"body":"I was providing solutions. I let"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2457.3,"endTime":2460.63,"body":"it go and I let you talk. Do you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2457.3,"endTime":2460.63,"body":"remember when that happened"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2460.63,"endTime":2463.66,"body":"recently? Yeah, it was actually"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2460.63,"endTime":2463.66,"body":"over text messages."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2463.69,"endTime":2466.0,"body":"No, it wasn't either one."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2463.69,"endTime":2466.0,"body":"I remember it was over the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2466.0,"endTime":2470.23,"body":"phone. Oh. Oh, you're right. It"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2466.0,"endTime":2470.23,"body":"happened over text to Okay. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2470.23,"endTime":2475.36,"body":"do this thing. Where you have no"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2470.23,"endTime":2475.36,"body":"patience for me when I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2475.36,"endTime":2479.62,"body":"struggling and you're just like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2475.36,"endTime":2479.62,"body":"you stupid MF er, fix it this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2479.62,"endTime":2482.77,"body":"way. I'm tired of listening to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2479.62,"endTime":2482.77,"body":"you complain about this thing?"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2482.8,"endTime":2486.97,"body":"Okay. You fix it. I don't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2482.8,"endTime":2486.97,"body":"say it that way. Oh, good"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2487.0,"endTime":2490.93,"body":"curries how it feels? Okay. But"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2487.0,"endTime":2490.93,"body":"that's not that this is what I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2490.93,"endTime":2492.85,"body":"was saying that validation goes"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2490.93,"endTime":2492.85,"body":"both ways. Because this is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2492.85,"endTime":2495.58,"body":"definitely my part. Like, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2492.85,"endTime":2495.58,"body":"used to do this to me. And then"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2495.58,"endTime":2499.45,"body":"I do it to you. Like we're both"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2495.58,"endTime":2499.45,"body":"at fault here. Get us go. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2499.45,"endTime":2503.68,"body":"know, girl, baby. But I did. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2499.45,"endTime":2503.68,"body":"was like, I was proud of myself"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2503.68,"endTime":2506.8,"body":"when I'm just like, Okay, I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2503.68,"endTime":2506.8,"body":"gonna take a moment. He's right."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2506.8,"endTime":2510.19,"body":"And I'm just going to let him"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2506.8,"endTime":2510.19,"body":"vent. And that's what happened."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2510.19,"endTime":2511.03,"body":"And it was great."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2511.21,"endTime":2513.76,"body":"Yeah. And it was it was,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2511.21,"endTime":2513.76,"body":"it's just the stuff like that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2513.76,"endTime":2516.67,"body":"will come up. It's not that big"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2513.76,"endTime":2516.67,"body":"of a deal. What really matters"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2516.67,"endTime":2519.52,"body":"is how you acknowledge it move"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2516.67,"endTime":2519.52,"body":"forward. Make that right. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2519.55,"endTime":2523.72,"body":"yeah. And like, another"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2519.55,"endTime":2523.72,"body":"situation is I was, I was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2523.72,"endTime":2527.41,"body":"recently again, stressed. So my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2523.72,"endTime":2527.41,"body":"communication skills have kind"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2527.41,"endTime":2530.65,"body":"of gone out the window. And I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2527.41,"endTime":2530.65,"body":"was hanging out on our daughter."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2530.68,"endTime":2533.98,"body":"And I was like, I don't know,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2530.68,"endTime":2533.98,"body":"I'm really bad about it. And,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2534.04,"endTime":2538.66,"body":"and I had a conversation with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2534.04,"endTime":2538.66,"body":"her after it happened. And I was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2538.66,"endTime":2542.47,"body":"telling her like, I'm sorry, it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2538.66,"endTime":2542.47,"body":"was not a reflection of her at"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2542.47,"endTime":2546.16,"body":"all, I explained that I was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2542.47,"endTime":2546.16,"body":"taking my stress out on her and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2546.16,"endTime":2551.26,"body":"that that wasn't okay. And I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2546.16,"endTime":2551.26,"body":"just felt really guilty about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2551.26,"endTime":2556.03,"body":"it. And she, I mean, she handled"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2551.26,"endTime":2556.03,"body":"it pretty well, she's 11. And it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2556.42,"endTime":2561.1,"body":"as parents also wise, as"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2556.42,"endTime":2561.1,"body":"parents, we, we we try to do the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2561.1,"endTime":2563.83,"body":"best we can, but we still"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2561.1,"endTime":2563.83,"body":"lacking the communication"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2563.86,"endTime":2568.63,"body":"department as well. And I called"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2563.86,"endTime":2568.63,"body":"Matt after the conversation,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2568.63,"endTime":2571.39,"body":"because I needed to process this"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2568.63,"endTime":2571.39,"body":"with somebody. And I used to be"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2571.39,"endTime":2573.07,"body":"scared to do things like that,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2571.39,"endTime":2573.07,"body":"because I didn't know how to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2573.07,"endTime":2575.05,"body":"approach the topic. Like I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2573.07,"endTime":2575.05,"body":"didn't know how to approach it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2575.05,"endTime":2578.44,"body":"in a healthy way. Or I didn't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2575.05,"endTime":2578.44,"body":"have a safe space to really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2578.44,"endTime":2579.13,"body":"communicate it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2579.13,"endTime":2581.11,"body":"with you. Is that because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2579.13,"endTime":2581.11,"body":"I would just try to offer"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2581.11,"endTime":2583.18,"body":"solutions or tell you what you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2581.11,"endTime":2583.18,"body":"should be doing. Exactly,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2583.21,"endTime":2583.81,"body":"exactly."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2583.84,"endTime":2586.81,"body":"And I was like, Okay, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2583.84,"endTime":2586.81,"body":"need to talk to him about this."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2587.59,"endTime":2591.1,"body":"I need to talk to somebody and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2587.59,"endTime":2591.1,"body":"he was my safe space. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2591.22,"endTime":2593.32,"body":"I remember this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2591.22,"endTime":2593.32,"body":"conversation. I don't mean to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2593.32,"endTime":2597.4,"body":"cut you off. But when we were"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2593.32,"endTime":2597.4,"body":"having this conversation, I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2597.43,"endTime":2601.84,"body":"actively telling myself in my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2597.43,"endTime":2601.84,"body":"mind, just listen to her, just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2601.84,"endTime":2605.02,"body":"listen to her. Let her know"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2601.84,"endTime":2605.02,"body":"she's okay. And just let her"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2605.02,"endTime":2610.0,"body":"talk. Rather than trying to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2605.02,"endTime":2610.0,"body":"offer you solutions or interject"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2610.0,"endTime":2612.64,"body":"to make you feel better about it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2610.0,"endTime":2612.64,"body":"or anything else. I just let you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2612.64,"endTime":2616.63,"body":"process it. But I was it was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2612.64,"endTime":2616.63,"body":"called I had to tell myself to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2616.63,"endTime":2619.57,"body":"do it. Because this isn't where"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2616.63,"endTime":2619.57,"body":"my brain goes naturally. But I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2619.57,"endTime":2622.84,"body":"think it's important to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2619.57,"endTime":2622.84,"body":"acknowledge that because it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2622.84,"endTime":2626.29,"body":"doesn't come natural. And so we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2622.84,"endTime":2626.29,"body":"will have to force it at times."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2626.29,"endTime":2629.14,"body":"Yes, yes. That's awesome."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2629.17,"endTime":2631.87,"body":"But you didn't know any"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2629.17,"endTime":2631.87,"body":"different as you. You didn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2631.87,"endTime":2635.92,"body":"know that I was actively trying"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2631.87,"endTime":2635.92,"body":"to like know exactly. You were"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2635.92,"endTime":2639.91,"body":"being very intentional. In that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2635.92,"endTime":2639.91,"body":"moment. You felt like you got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2639.91,"endTime":2642.46,"body":"the conversation that you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2639.91,"endTime":2642.46,"body":"needed. Yeah, better afterward."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2642.91,"endTime":2645.01,"body":"And that was growth for both of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2642.91,"endTime":2645.01,"body":"us. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2645.04,"endTime":2647.95,"body":"that's awesome. Because I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2645.04,"endTime":2647.95,"body":"was telling you how I felt like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2647.95,"endTime":2651.52,"body":"a bad mom. And I knew where it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2647.95,"endTime":2651.52,"body":"was coming from and that I was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2651.52,"endTime":2654.82,"body":"working to correct it. And I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2651.52,"endTime":2654.82,"body":"wasn't asking you to tell me"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2654.82,"endTime":2656.77,"body":"that I'm not a terrible mom. You"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2654.82,"endTime":2656.77,"body":"know, I wasn't looking for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2656.77,"endTime":2660.76,"body":"reassurance there. This was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2656.77,"endTime":2660.76,"body":"literally me, being so open and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2660.76,"endTime":2664.15,"body":"vulnerable with you to where I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2660.76,"endTime":2664.15,"body":"like, I need to process and I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2664.15,"endTime":2666.85,"body":"just need to talk to you and I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2664.15,"endTime":2666.85,"body":"need to hold myself accountable"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2666.85,"endTime":2672.58,"body":"and speak my truth out loud. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2666.85,"endTime":2672.58,"body":"I was correcting the issue by"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2672.58,"endTime":2675.37,"body":"speaking with you without you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2672.58,"endTime":2675.37,"body":"telling me what to do. It was a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2675.37,"endTime":2678.34,"body":"good conversation was Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2675.37,"endTime":2678.34,"body":"I was grateful for you in that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2678.34,"endTime":2680.8,"body":"moment. Because it was huge"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2678.34,"endTime":2680.8,"body":"growth for both of us. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2680.8,"endTime":2681.1,"body":"that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2681.13,"endTime":2683.92,"body":"that's new style"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2681.13,"endTime":2683.92,"body":"conversation. That's very"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2683.92,"endTime":2684.37,"body":"productive."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2684.4,"endTime":2688.45,"body":"Yes. And it's going to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2684.4,"endTime":2688.45,"body":"spill over into my other"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2688.45,"endTime":2693.79,"body":"relationships with my children,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2688.45,"endTime":2693.79,"body":"obviously. So all of this"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2693.79,"endTime":2697.09,"body":"obviously takes practice, like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2693.79,"endTime":2697.09,"body":"we've been saying it does take"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2697.24,"endTime":2702.01,"body":"we're gonna make mistakes."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2697.24,"endTime":2702.01,"body":"That's okay. but it does become"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2702.04,"endTime":2705.91,"body":"easier with time when you have"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2702.04,"endTime":2705.91,"body":"intention. So I did. This last"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2705.91,"endTime":2708.04,"body":"piece is going to talk about"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2705.91,"endTime":2708.04,"body":"picking your battles."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2709.9,"endTime":2714.16,"body":"Why are you looking at me?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2709.9,"endTime":2714.16,"body":"I think I'm fairly good at this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2714.16,"endTime":2714.37,"body":"one."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2715.09,"endTime":2718.72,"body":"No, I think you're great"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2715.09,"endTime":2718.72,"body":"at this. Um, I think we're both"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2718.72,"endTime":2723.34,"body":"pretty decent with picking our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2718.72,"endTime":2723.34,"body":"battles. So like, let's say, Do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2723.34,"endTime":2726.31,"body":"you try to control what your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2723.34,"endTime":2726.31,"body":"partner wears? I don't know"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2726.31,"endTime":2729.67,"body":"clothing? Oh, no, you don't give"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2726.31,"endTime":2729.67,"body":"a crap what I wear at all? No, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2729.67,"endTime":2732.25,"body":"don't. I typically don't care"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2729.67,"endTime":2732.25,"body":"what you wear either. But I do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2732.25,"endTime":2735.34,"body":"know relationships where, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2732.25,"endTime":2735.34,"body":"know, their partner is very"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2735.34,"endTime":2739.66,"body":"vocal on how they should present"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2735.34,"endTime":2739.66,"body":"themselves, on how their spouse"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2739.69,"endTime":2742.57,"body":"spouse should present"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2739.69,"endTime":2742.57,"body":"themselves. So we recently had a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2742.57,"endTime":2746.8,"body":"discussion on how we should"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2742.57,"endTime":2746.8,"body":"dress at certain events. And I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2746.8,"endTime":2751.12,"body":"didn't address it in a way of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2746.8,"endTime":2751.12,"body":"being demanding. It was more of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2751.12,"endTime":2754.63,"body":"addressing it in a way of like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2751.12,"endTime":2754.63,"body":"Hmm, what are your thoughts on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2754.63,"endTime":2758.68,"body":"this? Right? Yeah, because we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2754.63,"endTime":2758.68,"body":"were we went to multiple events"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2758.68,"endTime":2761.35,"body":"this past weekend, where, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2758.68,"endTime":2761.35,"body":"know, a lot of people were"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2761.35,"endTime":2768.73,"body":"dressed up. Yes. With jackets"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2761.35,"endTime":2768.73,"body":"and suits, and glitter and glam"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2768.73,"endTime":2772.66,"body":"and all this fun stuff. And Matt"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2768.73,"endTime":2772.66,"body":"was Matt."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2778.36,"endTime":2784.33,"body":"Took away but yeah, I,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2778.36,"endTime":2784.33,"body":"man. I don't know if I'm just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2784.33,"endTime":2788.89,"body":"anti establishment in general."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2784.33,"endTime":2788.89,"body":"But I think when I'm told to do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2788.89,"endTime":2792.4,"body":"something, for the sake of just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2788.89,"endTime":2792.4,"body":"being told to do it, and I can't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2792.4,"endTime":2795.85,"body":"see an actual purpose for it, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2792.4,"endTime":2795.85,"body":"always question it. I think just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2795.85,"endTime":2798.34,"body":"goes back to the way I am. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2795.85,"endTime":2798.34,"body":"don't know why I'm like this. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2798.34,"endTime":2800.23,"body":"just am very down. Like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2798.34,"endTime":2800.23,"body":"actually, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2800.23,"endTime":2802.39,"body":"like this question. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2800.23,"endTime":2802.39,"body":"I'm like, Okay, is it necessary"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2802.39,"endTime":2806.02,"body":"that we all do this? Because I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2802.39,"endTime":2806.02,"body":"don't know. Is there a dignitary"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2806.02,"endTime":2810.7,"body":"there is like the king going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2806.02,"endTime":2810.7,"body":"be there? Or is it just because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2810.7,"endTime":2813.37,"body":"people want to feel like they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2810.7,"endTime":2813.37,"body":"dressed up on a night out? And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2813.37,"endTime":2815.8,"body":"it feels special? Because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2813.37,"endTime":2815.8,"body":"everyone's dressed up? Right?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2815.83,"endTime":2818.23,"body":"And if so, like, do I have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2815.83,"endTime":2818.23,"body":"participate? Does it really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2818.23,"endTime":2820.99,"body":"matter if I'm not wearing a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2818.23,"endTime":2820.99,"body":"collar? Like, is it that big of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2820.99,"endTime":2823.63,"body":"a deal? I wasn't trying to wear"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2820.99,"endTime":2823.63,"body":"flip flops and beer shorts,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2823.66,"endTime":2825.31,"body":"right? But anyway, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2825.31,"endTime":2827.2,"body":"always look good no"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2825.31,"endTime":2827.2,"body":"matter what. But anyway,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2827.2,"endTime":2830.32,"body":"you brought it up to me."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2827.2,"endTime":2830.32,"body":"And you let me say my piece,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2830.32,"endTime":2832.96,"body":"which is basically me just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2830.32,"endTime":2832.96,"body":"complaining and moaning about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2832.96,"endTime":2837.82,"body":"how the idea of dressing up is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2832.96,"endTime":2837.82,"body":"silly. Which I will do don't get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2837.82,"endTime":2841.81,"body":"me wrong, but generally, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2837.82,"endTime":2841.81,"body":"when I'm directly involved in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2841.81,"endTime":2844.3,"body":"something like I've officiated"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2841.81,"endTime":2844.3,"body":"weddings, I'm absolutely going"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2844.3,"endTime":2847.81,"body":"to ask the bride, what would you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2844.3,"endTime":2847.81,"body":"like me to wear? Right? They"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2847.81,"endTime":2850.24,"body":"told me to get a green suit."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2847.81,"endTime":2850.24,"body":"I'll go get a green suit. Right"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2850.27,"endTime":2853.0,"body":"there wedding? I'm happy to do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2850.27,"endTime":2853.0,"body":"that. Yeah. If I'm in a crowd of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2853.0,"endTime":2855.58,"body":"1000 people, does it really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2853.0,"endTime":2855.58,"body":"matter how I'm dressed? If I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2855.61,"endTime":2859.0,"body":"essentially just how everyone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2855.61,"endTime":2859.0,"body":"else is dressed? Do I have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2859.0,"endTime":2861.7,"body":"wear a color? Why do we have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2859.0,"endTime":2861.7,"body":"wear collars? What's a collar?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2861.7,"endTime":2865.42,"body":"Anyway? Who invented Okay, here"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2861.7,"endTime":2865.42,"body":"we go. Why do we have this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2865.42,"endTime":2869.08,"body":"little wife on our neck to say"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2865.42,"endTime":2869.08,"body":"that we're dressed up nicely,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2869.38,"endTime":2872.02,"body":"and I just can't wear a tight"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2869.38,"endTime":2872.02,"body":"shirt with some slacks. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2872.02,"endTime":2875.47,"body":"that's, that's I don't know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2872.02,"endTime":2875.47,"body":"it's very arbitrary. To me. This"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2875.47,"endTime":2877.99,"body":"is the stupid crap that goes"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2875.47,"endTime":2877.99,"body":"through my head, though. And so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2877.99,"endTime":2880.75,"body":"we had a conversation about it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2877.99,"endTime":2880.75,"body":"And she let me you know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2880.75,"endTime":2883.9,"body":"complain and moan about it. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2880.75,"endTime":2883.9,"body":"then at the end of it, I was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2883.9,"endTime":2884.89,"body":"like, alright, I'll go get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":2883.9,"endTime":2884.89,"body":"dressed."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2885.22,"endTime":2889.48,"body":"Yes. But this is one of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2885.22,"endTime":2889.48,"body":"those agreeing to disagree type"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2889.48,"endTime":2891.58,"body":"thing. It was absolutely agreed"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2889.48,"endTime":2891.58,"body":"disagree, because I can"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2891.58,"endTime":2895.18,"body":"understand why certain events,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2891.58,"endTime":2895.18,"body":"you know, ask you to dress a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2895.18,"endTime":2898.63,"body":"certain way, I can understand"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2895.18,"endTime":2898.63,"body":"that for from a respectful point"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2898.63,"endTime":2901.54,"body":"of view, but you were we this is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2898.63,"endTime":2901.54,"body":"just where we meet in the middle"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2901.54,"endTime":2904.81,"body":"and we compromise and we just do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2901.54,"endTime":2904.81,"body":"our thing. But I'm not demanding"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2904.81,"endTime":2908.02,"body":"on what you should be doing. We"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2904.81,"endTime":2908.02,"body":"just have a nice conversation"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2908.02,"endTime":2912.31,"body":"about it. And we're debate and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2908.02,"endTime":2912.31,"body":"we move on. But I do think there"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2912.31,"endTime":2915.07,"body":"are some couples out there where"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2912.31,"endTime":2915.07,"body":"maybe the partner is very, like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2915.07,"endTime":2919.57,"body":"you need to be dressing this"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2915.07,"endTime":2919.57,"body":"way. And that's End of story. Is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2919.57,"endTime":2923.68,"body":"it worth it? I don't know. Pick"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2919.57,"endTime":2923.68,"body":"your battles? Maybe maybe not. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2923.68,"endTime":2929.53,"body":"don't you're very difficult to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2923.68,"endTime":2929.53,"body":"argue with. And actually one of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2929.53,"endTime":2932.32,"body":"our our good friend couples,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2929.53,"endTime":2932.32,"body":"we've discussed this before,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2932.32,"endTime":2936.13,"body":"because he can't argue with his"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2932.32,"endTime":2936.13,"body":"wife for the same reasons. Like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2936.13,"endTime":2939.31,"body":"they just y'all, you know who"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2936.13,"endTime":2939.31,"body":"I'm talking about? No, like are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2939.31,"endTime":2944.95,"body":"besties? No, dang it. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2939.31,"endTime":2944.95,"body":"well, he can't he can't argue"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2944.95,"endTime":2951.19,"body":"with his wife because she will"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2944.95,"endTime":2951.19,"body":"come at him. Like it. Tell him"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2951.19,"endTime":2954.79,"body":"that he is wrong constantly, all"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2951.19,"endTime":2954.79,"body":"the time. And that's how I felt"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2954.79,"endTime":2957.34,"body":"with you. I can't argue with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2954.79,"endTime":2957.34,"body":"you. There's no arguing with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2957.34,"endTime":2960.76,"body":"you. You're right. You're like,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2957.34,"endTime":2960.76,"body":"you're right. So I've learned to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2960.76,"endTime":2964.45,"body":"really pick my battles. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2960.76,"endTime":2964.45,"body":"like, This is not even worth"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2964.48,"endTime":2967.93,"body":"this discussion. Sanity at this"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2964.48,"endTime":2967.93,"body":"moment. It's not, it's not and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2967.93,"endTime":2970.06,"body":"that kind of goes to our next"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2967.93,"endTime":2970.06,"body":"point of like, do you feel like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2970.06,"endTime":2972.91,"body":"you have to talk about how you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2970.06,"endTime":2972.91,"body":"feel about everything. And yes,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2972.91,"endTime":2974.8,"body":"it's important to be able to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2972.91,"endTime":2974.8,"body":"speak our minds and how we're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2974.8,"endTime":2977.77,"body":"feeling but we don't have to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2974.8,"endTime":2977.77,"body":"communicate our feelings on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2977.77,"endTime":2980.71,"body":"every single thing that comes to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2977.77,"endTime":2980.71,"body":"mind, especially if it's like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2980.71,"endTime":2984.88,"body":"controlling or critical. If we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2980.71,"endTime":2984.88,"body":"do feel the need to address"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2984.88,"endTime":2987.22,"body":"everything on our mind, we need"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2984.88,"endTime":2987.22,"body":"to approach it in a way that is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2987.22,"endTime":2991.69,"body":"non judgmental, or it doesn't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2987.22,"endTime":2991.69,"body":"come from an emotional space. So"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2991.72,"endTime":2995.8,"body":"I was a very critical person"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2991.72,"endTime":2995.8,"body":"early on in our relationship. We"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2995.8,"endTime":2998.32,"body":"don't have to tell our partners"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2995.8,"endTime":2998.32,"body":"everything we feel because"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2998.32,"endTime":3001.83,"body":"sometimes those feelings are not"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":2998.32,"endTime":3001.83,"body":"facts. and they can be extremely"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3001.83,"endTime":3005.61,"body":"hurtful. It's best to discuss"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3001.83,"endTime":3005.61,"body":"some of these things with a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3005.61,"endTime":3009.12,"body":"professional instead to see if"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3005.61,"endTime":3009.12,"body":"you have a cognitive distortion."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3009.12,"endTime":3012.51,"body":"So because criticism can lead,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3009.12,"endTime":3012.51,"body":"it leads to our partner to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3012.51,"endTime":3015.84,"body":"become defensive, and it's ugly."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3012.51,"endTime":3015.84,"body":"It's something that I've really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3015.84,"endTime":3018.78,"body":"had to work on my entire adult"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3015.84,"endTime":3018.78,"body":"life."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3018.84,"endTime":3021.63,"body":"A lot of times criticism"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3018.84,"endTime":3021.63,"body":"comes from a place of like, sort"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3021.63,"endTime":3024.09,"body":"of the cognitive distortion of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3021.63,"endTime":3024.09,"body":"all or nothing or perfection."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3024.42,"endTime":3027.06,"body":"And thinking that everything's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3024.42,"endTime":3027.06,"body":"supposed to be a certain way,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3027.06,"endTime":3030.18,"body":"perfect way, the way I expect"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3027.06,"endTime":3030.18,"body":"things to be. And when people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3030.18,"endTime":3032.58,"body":"don't live up to those"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3030.18,"endTime":3032.58,"body":"expectations, we get critical of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3032.58,"endTime":3035.85,"body":"them without understanding that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3032.58,"endTime":3035.85,"body":"we're human, and we're going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3035.85,"endTime":3038.43,"body":"make mistakes, and we're not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3035.85,"endTime":3038.43,"body":"going to be perfect. Yeah. So"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3038.43,"endTime":3042.03,"body":"just because I don't exactly"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3038.43,"endTime":3042.03,"body":"like my hair cut. It doesn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3042.03,"endTime":3044.22,"body":"mean you have to tell me it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3042.03,"endTime":3044.22,"body":"looks like absolute crap and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3044.22,"endTime":3047.67,"body":"laugh about it. Right? Just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3044.22,"endTime":3047.67,"body":"because just because the thought"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3047.67,"endTime":3049.77,"body":"came to your mind doesn't mean"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3047.67,"endTime":3049.77,"body":"it needs to leave your mouth."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3050.43,"endTime":3055.56,"body":"Hilary Swank, yeah. Yeah, I've"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3050.43,"endTime":3055.56,"body":"had some bad cuts in my day. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3055.56,"endTime":3058.86,"body":"it does not feel good. When you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3055.56,"endTime":3058.86,"body":"get laughed at for like, I know,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3058.86,"endTime":3062.97,"body":"it's bad enough. I mean, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3058.86,"endTime":3062.97,"body":"not that big of a deal. But I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3062.97,"endTime":3067.11,"body":"learned this as well. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3062.97,"endTime":3067.11,"body":"basically, the way I summed this"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3067.11,"endTime":3073.44,"body":"up, in my mind is that I can't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3067.11,"endTime":3073.44,"body":"be held accountable for the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3073.44,"endTime":3078.0,"body":"things I never say. Yeah. So I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3073.44,"endTime":3078.0,"body":"don't, I don't have to say like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3078.0,"endTime":3080.58,"body":"I can't be held responsible for"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3078.0,"endTime":3080.58,"body":"the things that never leave my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3080.58,"endTime":3083.73,"body":"mouth. But I can have the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3080.58,"endTime":3083.73,"body":"thought, right, but is it? Is it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3083.73,"endTime":3087.57,"body":"worth what's coming? If I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3083.73,"endTime":3087.57,"body":"vocalize it? Yeah, there are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3087.57,"endTime":3090.3,"body":"some things that are big deals."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3087.57,"endTime":3090.3,"body":"Don't get me wrong. Talk about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3090.3,"endTime":3093.3,"body":"those things. Yes. But not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3090.3,"endTime":3093.3,"body":"everything's a big problem."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3093.54,"endTime":3095.64,"body":"Right? Not everything. Right."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3093.54,"endTime":3095.64,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3095.91,"endTime":3097.56,"body":"And that, like people"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3095.91,"endTime":3097.56,"body":"have quirks?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3097.95,"endTime":3100.44,"body":"Yes, absolutely. You're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3097.95,"endTime":3100.44,"body":"gonna have quirks and they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3100.44,"endTime":3102.72,"body":"not going to be perfect. Like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3100.44,"endTime":3102.72,"body":"there's some compromises you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3102.72,"endTime":3106.02,"body":"make in a relationship where"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3102.72,"endTime":3106.02,"body":"you're not going to meet my"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3106.02,"endTime":3109.05,"body":"every expectation, but that's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3106.02,"endTime":3109.05,"body":"who you are. And I can accept"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3109.05,"endTime":3112.5,"body":"that. And I love you. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3109.05,"endTime":3112.5,"body":"that's compromise. Yeah. So some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3112.5,"endTime":3115.23,"body":"of these things are not they"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3112.5,"endTime":3115.23,"body":"don't challenge my values."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3115.23,"endTime":3117.87,"body":"They're not deal breakers. But I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3115.23,"endTime":3117.87,"body":"think a lot of people look at"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3117.87,"endTime":3121.32,"body":"relationships and say, that just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3117.87,"endTime":3121.32,"body":"basically everything's a deal"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3121.32,"endTime":3124.65,"body":"breaker. And it's not the case,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3121.32,"endTime":3124.65,"body":"not everything is a deal"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3124.65,"endTime":3126.66,"body":"breaker, right? It's not let"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3126.66,"endTime":3129.75,"body":"it go. Just let some of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3126.66,"endTime":3129.75,"body":"this stuff go. Right."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3129.78,"endTime":3132.18,"body":"So like a lot of the stuff"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3129.78,"endTime":3132.18,"body":"we usually talk about here."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3132.18,"endTime":3133.98,"body":"Those are deal breakers, deal"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3132.18,"endTime":3133.98,"body":"breakers."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3134.04,"endTime":3136.2,"body":"Absolutely. This is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3134.04,"endTime":3136.2,"body":"important things that are like"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3136.2,"endTime":3137.97,"body":"really going to affect your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3136.2,"endTime":3137.97,"body":"mental"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3137.97,"endTime":3140.49,"body":"health things that are not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3137.97,"endTime":3140.49,"body":"deal breakers is the way that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3140.49,"endTime":3143.76,"body":"you keep your car, which looks"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3140.49,"endTime":3143.76,"body":"like people live in. And every"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3143.76,"endTime":3147.27,"body":"time I get in there, it's like,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3143.76,"endTime":3147.27,"body":"smells funny, and it's packed"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3147.27,"endTime":3150.78,"body":"full of trash. And I'm like, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3147.27,"endTime":3150.78,"body":"can say it a million times, but"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3150.78,"endTime":3153.99,"body":"you're probably never going to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3150.78,"endTime":3153.99,"body":"change. And at the end of the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3153.99,"endTime":3157.71,"body":"day, is it affecting me. It's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3153.99,"endTime":3157.71,"body":"not my car. It's your car."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3157.74,"endTime":3160.11,"body":"Right? That's this you have to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3157.74,"endTime":3160.11,"body":"live in it. You have to drive"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3160.11,"endTime":3164.61,"body":"it. It's your problem. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3160.11,"endTime":3164.61,"body":"Does it really affect me? No. Is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3164.61,"endTime":3167.22,"body":"it? Does it do any good to bring"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3164.61,"endTime":3167.22,"body":"it up and criticize you every"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3167.22,"endTime":3170.76,"body":"time for it when you're probably"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3167.22,"endTime":3170.76,"body":"never going to change? No, I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3170.76,"endTime":3173.79,"body":"accept that cork, it is what it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3170.76,"endTime":3173.79,"body":"is. Thank you. Not a big deal."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3173.94,"endTime":3176.73,"body":"Thank you. It was a lot of weird"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3173.94,"endTime":3176.73,"body":"stuff like that, that people do."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3177.09,"endTime":3177.63,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3177.63,"endTime":3180.78,"body":"So I was gonna say, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3177.63,"endTime":3180.78,"body":"know, if you get upset if your"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3180.78,"endTime":3183.42,"body":"partner is loading the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3180.78,"endTime":3183.42,"body":"dishwasher wrong, or if you make"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3183.42,"endTime":3186.48,"body":"a comment about how they're"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3183.42,"endTime":3186.48,"body":"folding towels incorrectly, or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3186.48,"endTime":3189.6,"body":"maybe they're decorating the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3186.48,"endTime":3189.6,"body":"Christmas tree wrong, like that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3189.6,"endTime":3193.2,"body":"kind of stuff. I've I've"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3189.6,"endTime":3193.2,"body":"seriously let go. It's not that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3193.2,"endTime":3197.4,"body":"big of a deal. It takes way too"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3193.2,"endTime":3197.4,"body":"much energy to critique you on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3197.4,"endTime":3199.89,"body":"how you're doing something than"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3197.4,"endTime":3199.89,"body":"it is to just let you do it"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3200.31,"endTime":3201.66,"body":"doesn't really affect me"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3201.72,"endTime":3205.47,"body":"is that I think about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3201.72,"endTime":3205.47,"body":"things like that. And I think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3205.47,"endTime":3208.74,"body":"about the day work because we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3205.47,"endTime":3208.74,"body":"not no one lives forever. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3208.77,"endTime":3211.77,"body":"I'll probably die before you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3208.77,"endTime":3211.77,"body":"just statistically. But if I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3211.77,"endTime":3216.33,"body":"don't I'll think about the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3211.77,"endTime":3216.33,"body":"things that you used to do that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3216.36,"endTime":3218.76,"body":"I used to criticize you for some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3216.36,"endTime":3218.76,"body":"of the things that I will love"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3218.76,"endTime":3221.46,"body":"you for more than anything the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3218.76,"endTime":3221.46,"body":"things I will remember you by"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3221.85,"endTime":3224.28,"body":"the way, they used to fold"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3221.85,"endTime":3224.28,"body":"towels. That was wrong, but it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3224.28,"endTime":3226.83,"body":"was hilarious, because it wasn't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3224.28,"endTime":3226.83,"body":"the way I did that stuff I love"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3226.83,"endTime":3231.36,"body":"about you the way that you kept"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3226.83,"endTime":3231.36,"body":"your car gross. Like, I will"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3231.36,"endTime":3235.17,"body":"come to miss those things. If it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3231.36,"endTime":3235.17,"body":"was if everyone was just like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3235.17,"endTime":3237.72,"body":"you, it wouldn't be fun. Like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3235.17,"endTime":3237.72,"body":"that's, there's what's the fun"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3237.72,"endTime":3240.51,"body":"in that relationship? Right?"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3237.72,"endTime":3240.51,"body":"It's it's about learning to live"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3240.51,"endTime":3242.91,"body":"with someone else. It's about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3240.51,"endTime":3242.91,"body":"learning to accept people like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3242.94,"endTime":3245.4,"body":"relationships can teach us so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3242.94,"endTime":3245.4,"body":"much about just the world in"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3245.4,"endTime":3249.3,"body":"general, how much we accept what"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3245.4,"endTime":3249.3,"body":"we can and can't control and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3249.33,"endTime":3251.85,"body":"what we're willing to live with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3249.33,"endTime":3251.85,"body":"and not but there's some people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3251.85,"endTime":3254.55,"body":"who will dig their heels in and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3251.85,"endTime":3254.55,"body":"say like, there's a basically a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3254.55,"endTime":3256.8,"body":"rulebook and if you don't hit"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3254.55,"endTime":3256.8,"body":"every one of these, we got a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3256.8,"endTime":3258.21,"body":"problem. Well, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3258.21,"endTime":3260.88,"body":"want to challenge our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3258.21,"endTime":3260.88,"body":"listeners, if they haven't put"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3260.88,"endTime":3263.97,"body":"their Christmas decorations up,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3260.88,"endTime":3263.97,"body":"and they have children of age"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3263.97,"endTime":3268.56,"body":"to, you know, be involved. Let"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3263.97,"endTime":3268.56,"body":"them do it without you moving."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3268.56,"endTime":3273.18,"body":"They're the decorations. Um, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3268.56,"endTime":3273.18,"body":"know, we're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3273.18,"endTime":3275.58,"body":"talking about some people"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3273.18,"endTime":3275.58,"body":"take Christmas time, frickin I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3275.58,"endTime":3280.77,"body":"know, that's blood. So I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3275.58,"endTime":3280.77,"body":"allow the kids to set things up"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3280.77,"endTime":3283.2,"body":"the way that they want. And"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3280.77,"endTime":3283.2,"body":"sometimes I will move something"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3283.2,"endTime":3286.77,"body":"and my kid definitely has called"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3283.2,"endTime":3286.77,"body":"me out within the past few"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3286.77,"endTime":3290.7,"body":"years. Yeah, quit moving my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3286.77,"endTime":3290.7,"body":"stuff. For a reason. It hurt his"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3290.7,"endTime":3294.0,"body":"feelings because he's like, you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3290.7,"endTime":3294.0,"body":"know, is it not good enough? Is"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3294.0,"endTime":3297.78,"body":"it not good enough and that it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3294.0,"endTime":3297.78,"body":"true. It's like, is it really"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3297.81,"endTime":3301.44,"body":"that big of a deal that you put"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3297.81,"endTime":3301.44,"body":"a Santa claws on the corner"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3301.44,"endTime":3304.98,"body":"instead of in the center where I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3301.44,"endTime":3304.98,"body":"would have put it. You know,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3304.98,"endTime":3308.46,"body":"just some of those things, it's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3304.98,"endTime":3308.46,"body":"growth to let your kids kind of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3308.46,"endTime":3312.03,"body":"just take it and see what they"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3308.46,"endTime":3312.03,"body":"do. And you can make it magical"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3312.03,"endTime":3314.37,"body":"that way. Just like our"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3312.03,"endTime":3314.37,"body":"Christmas tree. It's pretty"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3314.37,"endTime":3318.42,"body":"basic. We don't have it perfect."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3314.37,"endTime":3318.42,"body":"We were very classic. Just I let"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3318.42,"endTime":3321.6,"body":"the kids do what they want with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3318.42,"endTime":3321.6,"body":"the tree. And I did tell them to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3321.6,"endTime":3325.41,"body":"put the balls on first instead"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3321.6,"endTime":3325.41,"body":"of the specialty. Yeah, cuz you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3325.41,"endTime":3327.78,"body":"want those decorations because I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3325.41,"endTime":3327.78,"body":"want the special ones to show"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3327.78,"endTime":3330.75,"body":"but that was like that was that"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3327.78,"endTime":3330.75,"body":"was like the one guy who was"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3330.75,"endTime":3333.42,"body":"like the one guidance I gave"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3330.75,"endTime":3333.42,"body":"them Yeah, and and I just kind"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3333.42,"endTime":3335.91,"body":"of let them go with it because I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3333.42,"endTime":3335.91,"body":"wanted them to be a part of it."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3335.91,"endTime":3340.14,"body":"So if you're brave enough, or"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3335.91,"endTime":3340.14,"body":"just give them a table to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3340.14,"endTime":3342.24,"body":"decorate if you don't want to do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3340.14,"endTime":3342.24,"body":"the whole thing, you know, I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3342.24,"endTime":3344.82,"body":"just that kind of stuff. I just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3342.24,"endTime":3344.82,"body":"let I let go."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3346.11,"endTime":3347.94,"body":"Yeah, don't take life so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3346.11,"endTime":3347.94,"body":"seriously."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3347.97,"endTime":3350.25,"body":"Right. And that was the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3347.97,"endTime":3350.25,"body":"next the last thing is have fun"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3350.25,"endTime":3354.48,"body":"in your relationship. Like we"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3350.25,"endTime":3354.48,"body":"there are times Matt has put ice"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3354.48,"endTime":3355.89,"body":"water in my shower. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3355.89,"endTime":3357.72,"body":"no, that's That's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3355.89,"endTime":3357.72,"body":"hilarious. This is a bit that we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3357.72,"endTime":3360.84,"body":"started doing back and forth."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3357.72,"endTime":3360.84,"body":"And I don't remember why I did"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3360.84,"endTime":3362.61,"body":"this for the first time. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3360.84,"endTime":3362.61,"body":"thought it just be fun. It was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3362.61,"endTime":3366.15,"body":"from Sopranos. So I was that was"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3362.61,"endTime":3366.15,"body":"from Yes. Okay. So wait till"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3366.15,"endTime":3369.33,"body":"your spouse is washing their"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3366.15,"endTime":3369.33,"body":"hair when their eyes are closed."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3369.66,"endTime":3372.06,"body":"And you have the time it just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3369.66,"endTime":3372.06,"body":"right washing their face. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3372.06,"endTime":3376.35,"body":"and then go get go get a cup of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3372.06,"endTime":3376.35,"body":"cold water and over the top of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3376.35,"endTime":3379.8,"body":"the shower, douse it on and that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3376.35,"endTime":3379.8,"body":"is the most jarring thing in the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3379.8,"endTime":3382.98,"body":"world. So I did it to you and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3379.8,"endTime":3382.98,"body":"then you did it back to me and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3382.98,"endTime":3383.49,"body":"then we just do"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3383.49,"endTime":3385.92,"body":"this. Yeah, and so yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3383.49,"endTime":3385.92,"body":"I got angry at first but then I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3385.92,"endTime":3389.55,"body":"laugh about it. You know? We"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3385.92,"endTime":3389.55,"body":"Nerf gun wars. He likes to shoot"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3389.55,"endTime":3392.46,"body":"me with Nerf guns. Sometimes"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3389.55,"endTime":3392.46,"body":"that would piss me off. Nowhere"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3392.46,"endTime":3394.98,"body":"near the face though. Just in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3392.46,"endTime":3394.98,"body":"the book. No, thank you. But"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3394.98,"endTime":3398.73,"body":"it's fun. Like we have fun with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3394.98,"endTime":3398.73,"body":"stuff. What are the what are"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3398.73,"endTime":3402.51,"body":"other pranks that you do? I grew"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3398.73,"endTime":3402.51,"body":"up with all brothers. So I think"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3402.51,"endTime":3406.23,"body":"that that had a lot to do with"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3402.51,"endTime":3406.23,"body":"my mental like how what I deal"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3406.23,"endTime":3408.21,"body":"with and what I don't sort of"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3406.23,"endTime":3408.21,"body":"used to be messed with. Oh my"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3408.21,"endTime":3412.14,"body":"gosh, go back. Yes, exactly. I"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3408.21,"endTime":3412.14,"body":"was messed with for even my dad."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3412.14,"endTime":3415.38,"body":"He's messed with me. Like that's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3412.14,"endTime":3415.38,"body":"just like what I grew up with."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3415.38,"endTime":3419.67,"body":"So being with Matt wasn't wasn't"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3415.38,"endTime":3419.67,"body":"that weird. But there are some"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3419.67,"endTime":3424.38,"body":"people who I've posted stuff"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3419.67,"endTime":3424.38,"body":"online of things. Or Matt has"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3424.38,"endTime":3426.99,"body":"posted stuff online that he's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3424.38,"endTime":3426.99,"body":"done. And people were like, Ah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3427.02,"endTime":3429.57,"body":"he would be sleeping in the dog"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3427.02,"endTime":3429.57,"body":"house. He would be sleeping on"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3429.57,"endTime":3431.91,"body":"the couch. He would not be alive"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3429.57,"endTime":3431.91,"body":"to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3431.91,"endTime":3435.3,"body":"your dancing. Was he still"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3431.91,"endTime":3435.3,"body":"alive work out? Yeah. And you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3435.3,"endTime":3439.8,"body":"were like full in it. Man. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3435.3,"endTime":3439.8,"body":"were going hard. And I turned"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3439.8,"endTime":3442.83,"body":"the corner and I was filming you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3439.8,"endTime":3442.83,"body":"and I posted it. People like so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3442.83,"endTime":3445.41,"body":"cold blooded. Why would you do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3442.83,"endTime":3445.41,"body":"that? Might chewing cares."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3445.44,"endTime":3448.56,"body":"Thanks. Funny. Yeah, I mean, if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3445.44,"endTime":3448.56,"body":"I told you I was gonna do it,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3448.56,"endTime":3451.56,"body":"you'd like don't post that. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3448.56,"endTime":3451.56,"body":"I did. And knew that you would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3451.56,"endTime":3452.64,"body":"really wouldn't care."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3452.82,"endTime":3454.86,"body":"I mean, you're mindful"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3452.82,"endTime":3454.86,"body":"about things you do. I just"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3454.86,"endTime":3458.31,"body":"don't take it so seriously."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3454.86,"endTime":3458.31,"body":"Yeah, don't just have fun. It's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3458.31,"endTime":3458.55,"body":"fine."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3458.73,"endTime":3461.94,"body":"Try not to take things too"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3458.73,"endTime":3461.94,"body":"seriously. But life, they're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3461.94,"endTime":3462.63,"body":"small problems in"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3462.72,"endTime":3465.72,"body":"Exactly. Which you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3462.72,"endTime":3465.72,"body":"usually get mad about the small"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3465.72,"endTime":3467.46,"body":"things and not the stupid"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3465.72,"endTime":3467.46,"body":"things."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3468.09,"endTime":3469.35,"body":"So we've had"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3469.35,"endTime":3473.4,"body":"that conversation before."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3469.35,"endTime":3473.4,"body":"Yeah, but Okay, so like, do you"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3473.4,"endTime":3476.88,"body":"have anything else to add to"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3473.4,"endTime":3476.88,"body":"this? I mean, I hope that people"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3476.88,"endTime":3481.05,"body":"can get away and and learn a"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3476.88,"endTime":3481.05,"body":"thing or two from healthy"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3481.05,"endTime":3481.86,"body":"communication."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3482.04,"endTime":3483.99,"body":"I think communication is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3482.04,"endTime":3483.99,"body":"important. Anytime you're trying"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3483.99,"endTime":3488.82,"body":"to communicate your needs, don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3483.99,"endTime":3488.82,"body":"let don't let on communicated"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3488.82,"endTime":3492.69,"body":"expectations become resentments"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3488.82,"endTime":3492.69,"body":"in your relationship, that then"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3492.69,"endTime":3496.02,"body":"start to attach themselves to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3492.69,"endTime":3496.02,"body":"other things. And before you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3496.02,"endTime":3499.17,"body":"know it, you just hate each"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3496.02,"endTime":3499.17,"body":"other. Talk about this stuff, if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3499.17,"endTime":3502.23,"body":"you have difficulty talking"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3499.17,"endTime":3502.23,"body":"about it. And this episode is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3502.23,"endTime":3507.3,"body":"not detailed enough or not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3502.23,"endTime":3507.3,"body":"specific enough. I strongly"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3507.3,"endTime":3509.46,"body":"encourage marriage counseling"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3507.3,"endTime":3509.46,"body":"like marriage counseling does"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3509.46,"endTime":3511.17,"body":"not and you don't show up there"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3509.46,"endTime":3511.17,"body":"because your marriage is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3511.17,"endTime":3512.91,"body":"failing. I think you show up"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3511.17,"endTime":3512.91,"body":"there when you want it to be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3512.91,"endTime":3516.24,"body":"better. And it's maintenance."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3512.91,"endTime":3516.24,"body":"Like you change your oil in a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3516.24,"endTime":3519.18,"body":"car, right? Well, why don't you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3516.24,"endTime":3519.18,"body":"get a marriage counseling, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3519.18,"endTime":3520.95,"body":"just maintenance, it's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3519.18,"endTime":3520.95,"body":"maintenance and healthy"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3520.95,"endTime":3524.07,"body":"communication. Because the older"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3520.95,"endTime":3524.07,"body":"we get, oftentimes, the more we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3524.07,"endTime":3527.37,"body":"get stuck in our ways, and the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3524.07,"endTime":3527.37,"body":"more ideas become cemented, or"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3527.37,"endTime":3530.79,"body":"they're harder to change, not as"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3527.37,"endTime":3530.79,"body":"malleable. And counseling is a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3530.79,"endTime":3534.45,"body":"great way to just have open"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3530.79,"endTime":3534.45,"body":"communication about this stuff"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3534.48,"endTime":3537.45,"body":"before it becomes a major issue."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3534.48,"endTime":3537.45,"body":"Now, if it is a major issue,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3537.45,"endTime":3540.18,"body":"it's also a great place to work"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3537.45,"endTime":3540.18,"body":"through that stuff. I would just"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3540.18,"endTime":3542.58,"body":"encourage people to take it"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3540.18,"endTime":3542.58,"body":"seriously. If you've got serious"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3542.58,"endTime":3545.97,"body":"resentments about some things."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3542.58,"endTime":3545.97,"body":"And there's it feels like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3545.97,"endTime":3549.3,"body":"there's no moving past it. You"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3545.97,"endTime":3549.3,"body":"know, we've like written things"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3549.3,"endTime":3551.88,"body":"like drop the rope, which is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3549.3,"endTime":3551.88,"body":"essentially counseling in a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3551.88,"endTime":3556.8,"body":"nutshell. But it's helpful to go"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3551.88,"endTime":3556.8,"body":"get a third party to talk you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3556.8,"endTime":3560.1,"body":"through this stuff, someone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3556.8,"endTime":3560.1,"body":"who's trained and allowing that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3560.1,"endTime":3562.59,"body":"type of communication to flow"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3560.1,"endTime":3562.59,"body":"and teaching you how to do it."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3562.65,"endTime":3566.49,"body":"Yeah. Just it's crucial man,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3562.65,"endTime":3566.49,"body":"like, if you're in a marriage"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3566.49,"endTime":3570.42,"body":"with somebody, and there are"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3566.49,"endTime":3570.42,"body":"some things that we talked about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3570.42,"endTime":3572.79,"body":"that our deal breakers, these"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3570.42,"endTime":3572.79,"body":"things are against my values. I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3572.79,"endTime":3576.99,"body":"don't appreciate cheating,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3572.79,"endTime":3576.99,"body":"lying, stealing, alcoholism,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3577.02,"endTime":3579.69,"body":"emotional or psychological"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3577.02,"endTime":3579.69,"body":"abuse, physical abuse, like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3579.69,"endTime":3582.3,"body":"those are deal breakers. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3579.69,"endTime":3582.3,"body":"The way that someone loves a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3582.3,"endTime":3586.98,"body":"dishwasher is not right. But if"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3582.3,"endTime":3586.98,"body":"that if that becomes such a big"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3586.98,"endTime":3590.97,"body":"issue, like there are larger"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3586.98,"endTime":3590.97,"body":"problems at play here. Yeah, so"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3590.97,"endTime":3594.03,"body":"many other issues. That's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3590.97,"endTime":3594.03,"body":"something that you cannot let"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3594.03,"endTime":3596.97,"body":"go. And I think that's just a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3594.03,"endTime":3596.97,"body":"sign of it's like tip of the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3596.97,"endTime":3599.37,"body":"iceberg if there are bigger"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3596.97,"endTime":3599.37,"body":"problems in this relationship."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3599.4,"endTime":3602.01,"body":"Yeah, for sure. Hold on too"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3599.4,"endTime":3602.01,"body":"tight, just holding on way too"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3602.01,"endTime":3605.07,"body":"tight. I think if we got"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3602.01,"endTime":3605.07,"body":"anything going for us at all,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3605.07,"endTime":3607.5,"body":"it's that we don't we don't hold"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3605.07,"endTime":3607.5,"body":"on super tight to things like"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3607.5,"endTime":3609.45,"body":"that. Yeah, there are big"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3607.5,"endTime":3609.45,"body":"problems. They're small"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3609.45,"endTime":3611.64,"body":"problems, we can move past some"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3609.45,"endTime":3611.64,"body":"of this other stuff. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3611.94,"endTime":3615.66,"body":"oftentimes we're talking about"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3611.94,"endTime":3615.66,"body":"big issues on this podcast. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3615.69,"endTime":3619.5,"body":"I don't want people to think"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3615.69,"endTime":3619.5,"body":"that if that's the issue, that"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3619.5,"endTime":3621.93,"body":"that's not a big one, because"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3619.5,"endTime":3621.93,"body":"that is a big issue. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3621.96,"endTime":3624.39,"body":"fundamental issue in a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3621.96,"endTime":3624.39,"body":"relationship, right? We're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3624.39,"endTime":3628.5,"body":"talking about later down the"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3624.39,"endTime":3628.5,"body":"line. How because it's tough to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3628.5,"endTime":3632.58,"body":"move from what we went through"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3628.5,"endTime":3632.58,"body":"into a normal relationship. And"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3632.58,"endTime":3635.73,"body":"it takes a long time to get"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3632.58,"endTime":3635.73,"body":"there. It doesn't happen"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3635.73,"endTime":3640.44,"body":"overnight. Yes. Like, we had to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3635.73,"endTime":3640.44,"body":"learn how to communicate again,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3640.47,"endTime":3643.05,"body":"it's like you're, you're in a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3640.47,"endTime":3643.05,"body":"relationship with a new person."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3643.83,"endTime":3648.3,"body":"And I had to learn a ton in a"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3643.83,"endTime":3648.3,"body":"short period of time. And I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3648.3,"endTime":3651.18,"body":"just, you have to be patient"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3648.3,"endTime":3651.18,"body":"with each other. Right? Don't"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3651.18,"endTime":3654.12,"body":"forget that. We are all"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3651.18,"endTime":3654.12,"body":"struggling with the pains of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3654.21,"endTime":3656.94,"body":"adulting. And growing up,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3654.21,"endTime":3656.94,"body":"everyone, no matter what your"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3656.94,"endTime":3660.48,"body":"age is. Everyone struggles with"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3656.94,"endTime":3660.48,"body":"it. Yeah, have patience for each"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3660.48,"endTime":3662.91,"body":"other. If you're putting forth"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3660.48,"endTime":3662.91,"body":"the effort, then you're gonna be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3662.91,"endTime":3665.13,"body":"fine. Yep. As long as you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3662.91,"endTime":3665.13,"body":"putting forth the effort, you're"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3665.13,"endTime":3667.14,"body":"gonna be fine. The only time we"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3665.13,"endTime":3667.14,"body":"ever have issues when someone"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3667.14,"endTime":3669.99,"body":"says I'm not changing. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3667.14,"endTime":3669.99,"body":"goodbye, then."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3670.02,"endTime":3672.36,"body":"Right? That's all and"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3670.02,"endTime":3672.36,"body":"there's no accountability for"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3672.36,"endTime":3675.12,"body":"how you react or act then yeah,"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3672.36,"endTime":3675.12,"body":"that's a problem. That's"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3675.12,"endTime":3677.22,"body":"a deal breaker. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3675.12,"endTime":3677.22,"body":"absolutely. People are trying,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3677.22,"endTime":3681.36,"body":"man, just be patient. Be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3677.22,"endTime":3681.36,"body":"patient, good stuff. But I would"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3681.36,"endTime":3684.66,"body":"also say argue that this is"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3681.36,"endTime":3684.66,"body":"really bad. A lot of dudes do"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3684.66,"endTime":3688.29,"body":"this. I'm trying to get better"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3684.66,"endTime":3688.29,"body":"like Yoda said, Do or do not."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3688.29,"endTime":3688.92,"body":"There is no trial."},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3688.95,"endTime":3691.08,"body":"You said that to me the"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3688.95,"endTime":3691.08,"body":"other day it made me mad. That's"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3691.08,"endTime":3693.21,"body":"true, though, man. Like his turn"},{"speaker":"Paige","startTime":3691.08,"endTime":3693.21,"body":"it I said"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3693.21,"endTime":3696.3,"body":"it's a kid. It's like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3693.21,"endTime":3696.3,"body":"trying to eat better right now."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3696.87,"endTime":3699.12,"body":"Now either eat better or you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3696.87,"endTime":3699.12,"body":"don't eat better. There's no"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3699.12,"endTime":3702.9,"body":"trying to eat better. Yeah, you"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3699.12,"endTime":3702.9,"body":"just do it or you don't. Right."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3703.17,"endTime":3705.78,"body":"Like, you got to shift your mind"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3703.17,"endTime":3705.78,"body":"having the intention of eating"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3705.78,"endTime":3708.57,"body":"lettuce and eating candy instead"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3705.78,"endTime":3708.57,"body":"is not the same as eating"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3708.57,"endTime":3712.89,"body":"healthy. Yeah, it's not. But"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3708.57,"endTime":3712.89,"body":"when someone is actively trying,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3712.89,"endTime":3716.22,"body":"like, like me, like trying to"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3712.89,"endTime":3716.22,"body":"listen to you, instead of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3716.25,"endTime":3718.92,"body":"interjecting or not really"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3716.25,"endTime":3718.92,"body":"paying attention. There'll be"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3718.92,"endTime":3722.46,"body":"times where I slip. But most of"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3718.92,"endTime":3722.46,"body":"the time I'm getting it right."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3722.49,"endTime":3726.3,"body":"I'm trying that's what trying"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3722.49,"endTime":3726.3,"body":"looks like to me. Trying is not"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3726.3,"endTime":3729.06,"body":"just thinking about doing better"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3726.3,"endTime":3729.06,"body":"and doing nothing different."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3729.09,"endTime":3733.23,"body":"Right. It's an intentional,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3729.09,"endTime":3733.23,"body":"intentional, yeah, intentions"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3733.23,"endTime":3736.26,"body":"versus actions. Go back and"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3733.23,"endTime":3736.26,"body":"check that one out. Yeah. Okay."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3736.29,"endTime":3739.26,"body":"I think that's all we got,"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3736.29,"endTime":3739.26,"body":"right? Yes. Now we get to edit"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3739.26,"endTime":3743.4,"body":"and put this out within less"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3739.26,"endTime":3743.4,"body":"than 24 hours. Yeah. All right."},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3743.4,"endTime":3746.31,"body":"Well, thank you guys for joining"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3743.4,"endTime":3746.31,"body":"us. Until next time, I am Matt I"},{"speaker":"Matt","startTime":3746.31,"endTime":3747.09,"body":"pay and we'll see"}]}