Breaking Old Self-Perceptions and the Glass Ceiling with Jenn Adamson
Jan 23, 2024Episode 371
Jenn Adamson
Have you ever grappled with the voice in your head that whispers, “Am I good enough? Am I doing enough?”
In this episode with executive coach Jenn Adamson, we discuss the doubts commonly experienced by women in leadership, as well as how they can conquer the internal barriers that hinder their success.
Jenn and I address complex issues like imposter syndrome and perfectionism, diving into the root causes and their impact on female leaders and their teams. Most importantly, she shares strategies and tools women can use to unlock their full potential, emphasizing the importance of building self-worth, compassion and connection.
We also dive into the crucial role coaches play in not just professional development, but also personal growth.
Join us for an insightful conversation on how to reshape your self-perceptions and break through the glass ceiling that’s limiting your progress!
TOPICS DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
Women’s perception of themselves and their success
Exploring the root causes of imposter syndrome
Jenn’s 3 C’s and 5 C’s formula for success
Addressing burnout in experience female leaders
The power of compassion and connection in leadership
The impact of perfectionism and tools to overcome it
Personal and professional benefits of having a coach
Coping mechanism to deal with our internal barriers
Have you ever grappled with the voice in your head that whispers, “Am I good enough? Am I doing enough?”
In this episode with executive coach Jenn Adamson, we discuss the doubts commonly experienced by women in leadership, as well as how they can conquer the internal barriers that hinder their success.
Jenn and I address complex issues like imposter syndrome and perfectionism, diving into the root causes and their impact on female leaders and their teams. Most importantly, she shares strategies and tools women can use to unlock their full potential, emphasizing the importance of building self-worth, compassion and connection.
We also dive into the crucial role coaches play in not just professional development, but also personal growth.
Join us for an insightful conversation on how to reshape your self-perceptions and break through the glass ceiling that’s limiting your progress!
TOPICS DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
Women’s perception of themselves and their success
Exploring the root causes of imposter syndrome
Jenn’s 3 C’s and 5 C’s formula for success
Addressing burnout in experience female leaders
The power of compassion and connection in leadership
The impact of perfectionism and tools to overcome it
Personal and professional benefits of having a coach
Coping mechanism to deal with our internal barriers
Despite the proven capability of women in key leadership roles, many women still deal with the internal battles of imposter syndrome and perfectionism, which is hindering their success in work and life. Our guest, jen Adamson, is going to help us unravel the struggle and explore the root causes of these issues and so much more, so we can reshape self-perception and self-worth amongst women. We will discuss practical strategies, coping mechanisms and mindset shifts that can help you overcome any of these internal struggles so you can navigate the challenges, build resilience and confidently lead transformative changes in your work and life as a powerhouse leader. Stay with us, welcome, welcome. Welcome to Shading the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms female corporate executives into powerhouse leaders by showing them how to shed the challenges and overwhelm, along with any fear, insecurity, self-doubt and negativity holding them back. I'm your host, bernadette Beaus, of Ball of Fire Coaching, bringing you powerhouse discussions each week to share tips, advice and sometimes tough love so you create the riches in your work and life you deserve. Jen, how are you Welcome?
Speaker 2:
Hi Bernadette, Thank you so much. I'm so great. How are you doing? I am fabulous.
Speaker 1:
I am doing absolutely fabulous. Despite the chill in the air, it is a beautiful day and I'm so happy to be talking to you Likewise, Thank you for having me on your show today. You are very welcome. So before we dive into this fabulous conversation we're going to have around self-perceptions and imposter syndrome and a number of things, Tell our listeners and viewers a little bit about Jen yeah.
Speaker 2:
Oh, I love that question because I love that we can take the titles away and the achievements away and just get back to who we are in our essence. So I'm Jen Adamson and I live in Colorado, in Northern Colorado, with my six-year-old daughter. I'm a single mom and in my soulmate love relationship with my partner of two years. I love anything that I can do outside in nature, I love yoga and I really just if you can find me in this fall weather just curling up with a book and snuggling up with a cup of coffee.
Speaker 1:
Well, colorado is perfect for outdoor activities and whatnot. So that is fabulous. That is fabulous. So, as I mentioned, I want us to really dig into this subject around women, despite how much they're advancing, they still are struggling with these internal battles and these internal barriers, as you call them. And so, first off, let's back up and say what are some of the old self-perceptions, or even old perceptions, that there are out there still when it comes to women's success, their leadership and a number of other things? Yeah, I love this question.
Speaker 2:
And, if I may, just share a little bit of context, first as to why this is so important, and then I'll come to answering your question. So I coach executive women and female entrepreneurs and a lot of mindset, techniques and ways to regulate their nervous system so that they can feel as relaxed as possible as they advance, as they expand into further levels of possibility, and I love my job. I love empowering women. That is my mission in my life. But I came across this unique study that I thought was it blew my mind and I'll share what that is. But I knew by being a coach and myself personally being a high achieving woman. I've battled with things like imposter syndrome and perfectionism myself, and it is always a work in progress for me as well. Full transparency, right.
Speaker 2:
But when I came across this study, it was done by Harvard Business Review back in 2019. It mentioned that he did a study, a representative sample of about 360 women who were at some very high level of in their jobs, in their positions, and what they found out was that. So this overall study, the overarching study, was that they said Harvard Business Review keep in mind, very high, reputable organization said that they find that female leaders outperform their male counterparts. Now, no shame, I love men. Like I mentioned, I'm in my soulmate relationship with a peer to dog on men, that's not my jam, right. But what they found is that women leaders significantly outperformed their male counterparts. And what's interesting, bernadette, is in this study they found that the ones that were rating them their managers and direct supervisors most of them were men, which is interesting, right, because I will say that there is unconscious bias and there is bias, and, speaking as a white woman, I come from a lot of privilege, I will admit that, right, yes, so I'm not to say that this is not an issue and I don't want to sweet that under the rug, but what I found, what they found in this study, which was staggering, is that when they actually asked the women to rate themselves, they weren't as generous, sure, weren't as generous.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and this just you know, I'm not saying that, I'm not saying that I'm not. It just illustrates to me, and hopefully to your readers, how prevalent our self perceptions of ourselves as females and female leaders and how that actually can hold us back, because if we see the proof right here that female leaders are really strong, we can outperform our male counterparts because we have amazing superpower qualities to ourselves that are easier to come by. Why are we then holding ourselves back? There is a statistic that only 4.9 percent of fortune 500 companies are actually ran by female CEO, and that number continues to decline around the world. What is holding us back?
Speaker 2:
To go back to your question, I wanted to illustrate how this is so important and why this is such an important topic is the common things I see among my clients is that I'm not good enough, the fear of being found out that I'm going to be a fraud, that they're going to find out that I'm a fraud and that I'm inadequate or I don't belong. Those are very much the common narratives I see Oftentimes. I know this doesn't just happen in a vacuum.
Speaker 1:
Right. Where do you think that's all stemming from?
Speaker 2:
Yes, let's just take some basic sociology 101. I read a book. This was about a decade ago and I believe the title of the book was the Cinderella Effect. I can't quote who the actual author was, but it was mind-blowing for me to realize that she had resources, all of these resources of studies. But the overall message of this book was that little boys and little girls are socialized differently.
Speaker 2:
Sure, oftentimes and this isn't the unconscious, this is oftentimes things that we say that we don't even realize that we're saying or we might be carrying this energy towards until we actually talk about it. They've done studies of how little boys and little girls are raised, and little boys are often said to be tough, be brave, don't cry, win the game. Little girls are often told be careful, be nice, don't get hurt. Don't do that, you might get hurt. Quiet, quiet, keep the peace. How can this not carry over into our lives many years down the road? It's really interesting. I actually caught myself saying this recently to my daughter as she was going across the monkey bars. I was like, oh, I'm going to be here. It was like you got this girl, she's going.
Speaker 1:
You got this. Yes, I absolutely agree. This is jumping to the solution, so to speak. But if we were talking to teenagers or young women just going into the business world and I have 22 nieces and nephews and a good chunk of them are in that 22 to 28 year and half of them, if not more, are girls, women what could they be doing now that maybe some of us, at least some of us that are very seasoned, didn't necessarily focus on until we were later in years? But what are you seeing and what are you recommending, even to women who have children, like you?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I love this. All sorts of ideas are coming to me, but the one thing I'll share one of my formulas that I love to share with women is I call it it's the three C's and the five C's. So, really starting off with the three C's, which is consistency, courage and compassion, and more specifically, compassion towards ourselves, because we can be our harshest critic yes, so if we can use those three basic ingredients in life, flavor to your own liking, right? There's no one way to bake a cake. So these are just those three basic ingredients. If you need the flour, the sugar and the eggs for a cake, this is the same thing, and then you can add more things. So it's the consistency, courage and compassion.
Speaker 2:
So, first of all, anytime we want to make a significant change in our lives, we have to start focusing on the 1%. We can't expect ourselves to be these masters or these experts in some industry or area of our lives without first being consistent and doing a 1% improvement every day. So the biggest thing that comes to mind is for the group of women that you are talking about, younger women who are entering into the workforce. Self-esteem, I think, is a really big component to this is having a strong sense of self, understanding the unique skill sets that you bring to the table, even if you are coming at an intern or junior level right now, right Understanding that you do belong. A lot of times, imposter syndrome has stemmed from this belief that we don't belong at the table or that we don't have anything to contribute.
Speaker 1:
Well, now I'm going to kind of feed it up forward, but I'm going to come back to the young women. But let's educate the young women. Why would the women? What are you seeing? The women that are in their 40s, 50s, even 60s, very advanced, they've climbed the ladder. They've climbed the ladder. So the young women in their 20s would be looking at them, going, oh, they're not insecure, they don't have any imposter syndrome effects. So what is it that that has prevented them, apart from societal norms? Because you would hope that they gained some confidence and some self-esteem over the years, to where you know They've overcome societal. Now it's just kind of internal. Yes, why are they still struggling?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, that I love this too. So I often see Women in their late 30s, 40s and 50s. They come to me because they're burnt out, because they've often been going and really hustling so hard, to the point of trying to prove themselves, and now they're depleted in their energy and they're exhausted and maybe at the expense of other things like their health, the relationships, other things outside of the outside of the workforce. Right, what I, when I see so often is that. So what tends to motivate women who come to me to work with me, is that they still have that underlying it's not enough, it's not enough, it's not enough. And what has led and that, in a sense of the way, has Motivated them to be the high achieving women that they are, yes, to trailblaze and to spearhead amazing things, but they're now done with that. They've realized that I'm tired of being motivated from something that really is quite depleting.
Speaker 2:
Yes, how can we shift this, how can we shift this so that I actually can see and recognize that, just by being me and by my life experience and Through the achievements that I have brought to the table and the contributions that I brought into the workplace, how can I just allow myself to be and maybe not necessarily try so hard in proving Because you already have this proven track record, right, right? So the quote that comes to me is a rising tide lifts all ships, yes. So it's oftentimes women who are then start to say, okay, how can I Continue? You know, I want to stay in another 10, maybe 5, 10, 15 years in in the position or a position similar to this before I retired. But how can I ease up a little bit, enjoy the journey a little bit more and also uplift other people around me in the process?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and does so moving on from in the into the three C's you know. Do they support, you know, the clients to get kind of that shift and that mindset in order to support that new, you know, approach they're going to take.
Speaker 2:
Yes, yes, so. So I often see women in that later stage of life who really may have locked down the consistency and the courage and maybe even some of the compassion too. You know, oftentimes they're very empowered women that come to me. But what I start to see is that that they might be lacking to other C's, which are celebration and connection Connection with themselves, connection with others. And are they allowing themselves to celebrate the point, the journey, like look how far you all have made it, look how far. Look at this beautiful track record You've created in this legacy that you're leaving and you're continuing to leave? Are you allowing yourself to actually celebrate that?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, so now bringing it all together. So I had you steered toward the younger women who you had mentioned. They just need to get to know themselves.
Speaker 1:
They need to get to know their talents and their skills and what they bring to the table and really build that self-esteem. You said right, and then the goal would be to carry that forward To when you reach that seasoned Level of your career, whether that's late 30s or more so, 40s and 50s. Then you are kind of tapping into Helping others so you can then go about it appreciating it for yourself as opposed to for the hectic speed and demands of everyone else.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely. I understand that. Yes, beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 1:
Later put it Okay, okay, because, yes, because I think it's important to ensure that there's a lot of lessons that the young can take From the seasoned at the same time. When you mentioned compassion and I love that what have you found? Whether it's your clients or not, but if you found that the younger generations, the 20s and 30s, are inherently more Compassionate in the workplace than when some of us seasoned ones came up, and it was all about the work, yeah, so, oh yes.
Speaker 2:
So I would say absolutely, I think just the way that that so.
Speaker 2:
So I feel like technology and its advancements to social media, the internet, all of that we can connect at lightning speed. We can connect with people from around the world. We know things, we know more. Things happen, we know those instantaneously, compared to even just when I had to go to a library to do a research paper and make copies with an Encyclopedia right, I didn't have the internet when I was first starting school, so I think that that has allowed for us to also bring more of these important issues to light, acknowledging, you know, some of these things like the unconscious bias, and and and how that portrays and how that carries into the work life. So I do see and I do notice a trend with my younger clients there is a bit more of that compassion, there is a bit more of that empathy and, to even tie it in more so, one of the one of the reasons why I Strongly believe that women outperform men in leadership is our ability to empathize and our ability to connect and our ability to be Collaborative as opposed to competitive right.
Speaker 2:
Correct. Right, there's a place for all of it.
Speaker 1:
But those are really strong superpowers that come naturally to us as females and we should definitely and those Listening and watching should definitely be leveraging them and I will sometimes say, exploit them, because it's much stronger word for me than just kind of optimize and leverage. But you're absolutely right. You're absolutely right use that superpower.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely, absolutely yes. And discernment too. We're not going to just sprinkle it on and be like you're like right. We use our judgment and our critical thinking skills, of course, but there's so many studies, and even just with clients alone, I have a client who she started a new position in tech as a leader and she inherited a lot of issues with her current team and just by taking those few extra minutes to get to know her team, to build that rapport and that trust the turnover has, it's reduced by 90% in just six months time. They were seeing people going in and out of that organization and just her ability to connect with her teammates Just a few extra minutes right Before or after a meeting. Her boss now, who is a male and is the executive, one of the top executives of the C-suite, is noticing her and has a promotion already on the table for her in the next few months.
Speaker 1:
I think we need to dig into that even further because, like you, I see it all the time and therefore, when you say what you just said in regards to a leader should get to know their people, I'll often get pushed back and I'd like to know if you do too Well, you know it's work. It's not. I don't need to get to know them on a personal level, and this is at the highest of levels. So when you say, spend some time getting to know your people because of all those benefits that you mentioned, what does that look like? What does that truly look like for people?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so I first want to preface by saying business is built on relationships. Business is built on relationships. Now I understand. There's a transactional piece, there's an exchange, like if I'm to make a sale with a client, there is an exchange of money for my services. And that applies to everything in the bottom line. In order to keep our businesses open, we have to have revenue coming in. So, yes, there is a transactional piece to it, but what keeps customers, what keeps customers loyal? What makes them raving fans? What makes your employees raving fans of your organization? It's not being seen as a number, it's being seen as a person. Business is all about relationships. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo woo, woo, yay, yes.
Speaker 1:
So what does it look like? Like? How deep is that manager going with their person?
Speaker 2:
You don't need to be deep at all. So I was a practicing registrar. I still am very part-time, but I was a team lead on a very busy unit on. My higher date was March 9th 2020, and COVID, as we all know, happened. So I was leading 75 nurses and CNAs and, in fact, in those two years that I was a charge nurse, I also helped to reduce the turnover rate in a industry that was burning out at an unprecedented level, and it wasn't hard, it was just genuine eye contact Telling someone I appreciate you, bernadette.
Speaker 2:
Thank you so much. Hey, can you do this for me right now? I got this, this and this going on and let people know the vision. Why am I delegating this to you right now, not just barking in order, but I need you to do this right now because of X, y and Z. Or how do you get your team on board for the same vision? You can say something like I have really high expectations and I'm confident that you can meet these expectations so that we can hit X, y and Z goal.
Speaker 2:
That, oh my gosh. That does something to the brain and it lights it up, because you're seeing them and you're seeing their potential and their possibility. You're not speaking to their weakness, you're speaking to their strengths. It's so simple. It's taking a moment beforehand and asking people how was your day, or what are you grateful for, or tell me a fun fact about yourself in 30 seconds or less, and then using those and not just using them for face value, not doing it to because Jen is saying so, but really paying attention and taking a moment to so, down the road, when you're like, hey, you know, john, how are your kids, how's Suzie's ice skating practice going? Exactly Right, yeah, that's that means think about how that makes someone feel. Yes, it's about making people feel a certain way. It is really. It does not take that long, it is not that hard, it is quite easy. Actually it is.
Speaker 1:
Now do you often get the excuse from individuals, though I don't have the time to do that. I mean, like you had 70 some odd nurses. I don't have time, even if it takes 30 seconds. I don't have time.
Speaker 2:
Here's the thing, though Think about the upfront investment versus the ROI. Okay, if you don't have the time to build a little bit of rapport from time to time, okay, I know we're all busy, we're all going, going, going. I'm not asking you to do more. I'm asking you to do something different instead, just do something different. Think about the amount of money and time you save. I'm not asking you to save by doing something different.
Speaker 2:
Rather than losing an employee or a whole team and having to retrain and all of the upfront costs that that takes and all of the hardship that creates on the team and the business, I'm losing the word right now, at the time. So you have to think about this as a visionary. We have to put our CEO hats on. We have to think of this in the bird's eye view. I know it's so easy to get stuck in the details and the nitty gritty and to be in the trenches, but also, as leaders, it is our responsibility.
Speaker 2:
Good, great leaders Take it their team to those visionary results. They, they have that vision and they are able to lead their teams. It's not about doing more. It's just about doing things differently and recognizing the costs the true costs of losing employees and wasting resources if you don't do this differently, yes, and would you say too kind of hit them where it hurts, when it also hurts them or it benefits them 100% 100% when we lose team members and our team, or the culture or the morale is inefficient or not a supportive environment.
Speaker 2:
What are we doing as leaders? We're the ones up at night worried about where we're going to go and what our next steps are and what this is going to look like. We're the ones that end up spinning our wheels as a result. So do yourself the favor, too. Absolutely Do yourself the favor of setting yourself up for success.
Speaker 1:
Yes, love that, love that, love that All right, so that was awesome. Now I want to kind of continue on with. We talked about some imposter syndrome issues. One of the other areas that you really focus on with your clients and it does impact women more so is around perfectionism. So, one, what does that look like? Two, what is the impact to that leader plus the people around them? And then, what ideas and suggestions do you provide your clients?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, absolutely so. Perfectionism can actually be. If you take imposter syndrome and you look at it as the umbrella, perfectionism can sometimes fall not all the time, but it can sometimes fall under the umbrella of imposter syndrome. And that whole premise is about I have to do things 100%. Things have to be done 100%, perfect 100% of the time.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and often I will see women who say I have to do it all myself too. I can't delegate this because no one's going to do it the way that I want it done. Yes, and to some degree, sometimes there may be certain projects that require a little bit more of that oversight. But at what point, too, are you creating that unnecessary hardship and the energetic expense that it takes to carry the entire load when you have a team, and that's what they're designed to do? So perfectionism is, yes, about I have to do it 100% of the time and it has to be perfect 100% of the time, and what that does is that puts so much pressure on ourselves unnecessary pressure. They have done studies of this as well, where women will look at a job opening and they will compare that to men you know where I'm going with this and women will say, well, I don't hit every checkbox, so I'm not going to put myself in the hat for this opportunity, and what that ends up doing is it literally holds us back and keeps us from further advancement and further opportunities.
Speaker 2:
So a tool that I love to use that was given to me a few years ago is if you can be 70% there, it's enough. Right, you don't have to be 100%, and I think we're all safe. All of your listeners can probably it's probably safe to say, oh yeah, I can hit 70%, maybe you went a little higher Right. Use that as your compass, as your navigation system. Yes, trust yourself enough that if you know 70%, you can reach the 100% in time when it's needed. Right, and you have a team as well. Oftentimes we have teams where our strengths lie or where our weaknesses lie. We hire to those who can play on our weaknesses, who have the opposite Right, so they're complementary. So I might have a weakness in I'm just throwing something out there in administrative work and the details and the back end of tech, so then I will look to one of my teammates to be who's really strong in that, to help me and to navigate that as well. So trust yourself enough to utilize your resources.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, now, is it really trust? Or do you find that even women at significant levels of a business, they aren't very self-aware, like they haven't done the self-assessments or the 360 assessments, or they take in the time to really understand where are my strengths, my skills, my talents, but where are my gaps and my weaknesses? Do you find that, or does your clientele pretty much kind of have that self-awareness and self-assessment already locked in?
Speaker 2:
I get what you're saying. I would say it's a good 50-50. So it really just. It just depends on the situation and the person and their background. I would say about yeah, I'd say 50% have some really in-depth insight and self-awareness, and then another 50% likely doesn't, because they haven't. We don't learn these things in school and there is no judgment or no shame to this. It's just that this isn't oftentimes a thing that's really promoted or encouraged.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, well, also have you found that? Because there was a time only, probably up until like the last five or seven years where having a coach met there's a development issue? Yeah, we really want that. Yes, whereas today, having an executive coach or whatever coach means that you're actually kind of wanting to develop and wanting to grow. It's not about necessarily needing to improve, but wanting to improve.
Speaker 2:
Yes, yes, exactly. So the way I like to use the word coach is kind of like forward, it's like momentum. So often you've reached a certain level of achievement or success in your world because I believe success is a subjective term, depending on what fits for your own definition and you want to continue the momentum, because we're humans, right, and so we need the support, we need the accountability. It really is so helpful when we have someone in our corner that we know can support us, and I like to use three different ways either the rock, the cheerleader or the speed bump. So a coach really embodies those three levels of support.
Speaker 2:
Now we often in our day-to-day lives will have people in our lives who maybe want this, that or the other, or maybe a combination of one or two, but it's very rare to have someone in our day-to-day life and our normal circle of people in our social life that can fit all three. So the rock is the person who we'll start with. The easy one, the cheerleader the easy one yeah, we all have a cheerleader, I'm sure the one who's like I don't know what you're going through, but I believe in you, right, you got this and I'm cheering you on. So I had a lot of people when I was working up towards my TEDx talk that were my cheerleaders, and a lot of people on social media who are also my cheerleaders, and I'm so, so grateful for that. And then you have the rock. It's the person in your life who, when the going is tough, you are down in the trenches, it is hard, you are only. You are literally putting one foot in front of the other and you can only see maybe a hundred feet out in front of you. Your coach is your rock, the one who is supporting you and holding you and asking you the questions to dig deeper so that you can come through onto the other side.
Speaker 2:
And then we have the speed bump. The speed bump is the person in our lives who we might need to slow down, you might need to right. Let's step back for a moment. Let's let's reevaluate the situation when, where might the gaps be? Where might be some of these missing puzzle pieces? And the most graceful way possible, and sometimes in the smoothest way possible, but that's not always the case. Sometimes it's going to be a little bit of building destruction and then building back up. But is that okay? How can we look at this from this 360 view, bird's eye view what do we need to do when? Where might we need to scale back? Where might we need to put our focus on? So coach really embodies a really good coach will embody all three levels of that support. That's the way I like to use to help people to understand.
Speaker 1:
Yes, yes. And the fact that it's not just about, like it was in the past, that it's a negative. It's an absolute positive and proactive and constructive. What do you say?
Speaker 2:
Oh, a hundred percent. A hundred percent. It's about the present and moving into the future, and we, I truly believe, as humans we do. We can be limitless in the sense of the way of when we hit. Maybe we think, like I know, two years ago, where I am now is where I wanted to be two years ago. But if you were to ask me oh, I'm good, no, I want to keep going. I just getting started now, right, yeah?
Speaker 1:
You don't want to stop, absolutely not. So let me ask you one last question around coping mechanisms. You talk about coping mechanisms and so share with us what can women do to kind of deal with these challenges that we've been talking about, these internal barriers that you call them?
Speaker 2:
Oh, yeah, I love this. Thank you for asking this question. So the biggest thing that really, coming from this very foundational place, we can't build a house until we've created the strong foundation and going back to the whole basis of how we started this conversation was imposter syndrome in our self perceptions. We as humans okay, but I'm going to speak specifically to females we need to feel a certain level of safety and connection, both within ourselves and within, outside, in the outer world. That's the only way that we can actually step into expansion. That's the only way that we can achieve our goals. Because if we all have achieved goals, there's a big, big gap of the unknown. It's a gray area where, as much as we can plan and project and predict certain things, it's not always going to go as planned Right. And so to feel that sense of safety and connection within ourselves and what do I mean by that? I mean believing ourselves, believing that we have the skills, that we have the resources, that we have the support whether it's within ourselves or looking towards our communities for that support to take it one step in front of the other so that we can reach those goals. So it's also again going back to knowing who you are, knowing what your strengths are. It's not also the connection? Going back to the relationships, there's actually another piece to imposter syndrome, which is the soloist. It's the person who thinks that they should do it all by themselves and although that is possible.
Speaker 2:
I'm one of my most favorite quotes. It's an African proverb. It says if you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together. Yes, love that. Yes, yeah, me too. I love that quote so much so it really is like to relate back to. It's that sense of safety and connection. So how can we do this? What are some tangible ways? Well, one is just checking in with yourself.
Speaker 2:
I am a big proponent of seeking therapy. If you don't have a therapist, I say go and look for one right now. There's again. You know, just as like coaches used to be 10 years ago, there was stigma. I think sometimes there can still be a stigma. I think we've done a lot as a society and as a collective to open our minds and our hearts to therapy, but our mental health is priority number one. We have to start with our mindset and our mental health, because if we don't feel good, sure, physical health is absolutely important to. Coming from a registered nurse, I say that. But if we're not consistently in the right headspace, we are going to lack those times where we lack the motivation Absolutely, and I go down. So leaning onto your resources, leaning onto your support Also, you know, just some basic.
Speaker 2:
If I can share some sleep, make sure. There's so many studies out there that the quality of life is really determined by one key thing and it's the quality of our sleep. And, at the same time, and wake up at the same time, as much as you possibly can every day, if you. If there is one thing that you, your listeners, could do like what can I start with right now? It's focus on your sleep, focus on your sleep. Another one that I recently heard was just five minutes of morning sunlight does something to the brain and it switches on certain neuro receptors and it's fascinating. And so, even if you can just have your coffee out on the porch, or if you have a sunroom and just be in that morning sunlight for five minutes, or take your work outside for from time to time, yeah, I do that all the time.
Speaker 1:
Yes, I totally agree with you. I love this. This is awesome. I appreciate all these magnificent tips and strategies and insights, because there's some of them that I wasn't even aware of, and I'll definitely be looking into that Harvard business review study that you had mentioned. Yes, I can send that to you Absolutely. I appreciate that. Well, this has been fabulous, jen. I so appreciate your time and your wisdom. Likewise, Bernadette.
Speaker 2:
thank you, this was such an amazing conversation.
Speaker 1:
I know you're so so, so, so welcome and everyone. Please go and check out Jen. Go to jenadamsoncom. Be sure to kind of look at what she does and how she could support you. At the same time, follow her on LinkedIn and Instagram. You could do that at. I am Jen Adamson. I love that. I am Jen Adamson, so you can follow her both on Instagram and LinkedIn, jen. Thank you again. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:
What a powerhouse Jen Adamson is and what a great conversation we had all around self-perceptions, self-worth, imposter syndrome, perfectionism and so much more. We covered a great deal, and I'd be really curious as to what you took away from it, and so be sure to go to LinkedIn and leave me a comment or ask us a question, and I'll make sure that Jen even gets ahold of it as well. So go to LinkedIn at Bernadette Beaux and be sure to leave your comments. But let me tell you what I walked away with. There was so much so. She talked about a 2019 Harvard Business Review that basically spoke to the fact that female executives outperform male leaders. So if you've been doubting that or questioning yourself around your contribution and your worth in the workplace, it is proven that women outperform male leaders. Now, as Jen said, this isn't about a male bashing conversation. This was more so making sure you understand that if you are dealing with any type of imposter syndrome or self-doubt or questioning your worth and your value and what you're contributing, then you really need to stop, not only for your own mindset and your own self-care, but more so because, most likely, if you were to ask your male counterparts, they would say the same that you do outperform many of your peers. So I absolutely loved that.
Speaker 1:
And then she did talk about her 3C model that she uses when it comes to really helping women reframe how they perceive themselves.
Speaker 1:
So she talked about consistency, courage and compassion, and then even expanded it to five when necessary, which included celebration and connection. So I wonder what you took away from her kind of digging in to especially those first three, because it was quite powerful. And then she really also discussed how, as leaders, our job is to connect with our people, to get, then, the best and the most out of them not necessarily quantity-wise most, but more so their potential and just bringing their best to their job. And so she talked about the fact that it just takes a few minutes to really get to know your team members to the point where, then, they really feel trusted, they really feel connected, they really feel engaged and valued and therefore will show up and do what it is that you need them to do, even during difficult times.
Speaker 1:
But it was a conversation ripe, ripe with tips and strategies and things that you could be taking away right now to really propel yourself forward and be that powerhouse leader that you're meant to be. Another note I am so grateful that you were here with us for this episode and for this conversation with Jen, and I'll look forward to having you for another episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Have a beautiful, beautiful day.