Shedding the Corporate Bitch

Create a Career-Accelerating Support Network

• Bernadette Boas • Episode 436

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Are you intentional about who sits at your table of career success?
In this thought-provoking episode, host Bernadette Boas dives deep into the essential relationships you need to fuel your career growth and personal transformation. She unpacks why creating a circle of influence—your own “Personal Board of Directors”—isn’t just a nice-to-have, but a critical strategy for anyone determined to thrive at any stage of their journey.

Challenges Professionals Face:

  • Navigating corporate life or entrepreneurship without the right support system
  • Confusing the roles of coaches, mentors, advocates, and sponsors
  • Failing to seek or cultivate key relationships that impact advancement and opportunities
  • Struggling to showcase your achievements or take the initiative for your own growth

Key Talking Points:

  • Why Relationships Matter: Relationships are central to career and personal success. Bernadette illustrates how they influence opportunities, insights, and your overall trajectory.
  • Roles Defined:
    • Coaches: Focused on performance, accountability, and short-term goal setting. May be internal, external, formal, or informal.
    • Mentors: Offer guidance based on their own experience, helping you navigate processes, people, and decision-making. Typically less structured and ad hoc.
    • Advocates: People within your organization who actively support and promote your accomplishments behind the scenes.
    • Sponsors: Influential leaders invested in your advancement, leveraging their own power to champion your high-visibility projects and opportunities.
    • Board of Directors: A carefully curated mix of all of the above, including those outside your professional sphere (friends, family, community leaders) for holistic advice.
  • Debunking Myths: Coaching isn’t just for “troubled” employees—it’s a growth catalyst!
  • Cultivating Relationships: Why building, maintaining, and giving back to your network provides career insurance at every level.

Bernadette encourages listeners to “shed the bitches”—ditch self-doubt, fear, and hesitancy—to become the powerhouse leader you’re meant to be. Whether you’re 30 or 65, it’s never too late (or early) to build the structures that will skyrocket your career and life.

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Speaker 1:

Have you considered who you need to have as part of your circle of influence from the beginning to the end of your career and who have you engaged thus far as part of your own career and personal board of directors? That's right board of directors, being that relationships are absolutely critical to one's overall career and life success. We need to talk about the intentional focus and thought process you're putting in to formulating a board of advisors and guides who can accelerate your career success and help you avoid major pitfalls while elevating your leadership style. So we're going to discuss the various types of advisors and guides who you should make part of that circle of influence and some examples of how you could be leveraging each one of those types of individuals. Lastly, I'm going to give you 10 strategies of how you can be leveraging these individuals right now and as you move forward in your career and actually and in your life. So stay with us.

Speaker 1:

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms corporate executives into powerhouse leaders by showing them how to shed the challenges and overwhelm, along with any fear, insecurity, self-doubt and negativity holding them back. I'm your host, bernadette Bowes, of Ball of Fire Coaching, bringing you powerhouse discussions each week to share tips, advice and sometimes tough love so you create the riches in your work and life you deserve. Let's do this. Create the riches in your work and life you deserve. Let's do this. Who are your coaches, mentors, advocates or sponsors? Do you have them? If not, then you're in the perfect place, because that's what we're going to discuss today and it's a subject I absolutely love because it's a subject that is critical to not only your overall career path but your success, and I spend a good amount of time working on this subject of coaches, mentors, sponsors and advocates with my clients.

Speaker 1:

Whether it's a career decision that you're making, whether it's a job opportunity or a advancement opportunity, whether it's a challenge that you're having in the workplace, you want to be able to have, kind of your tribe, your circle of individuals that can really help guide and support you through those things. And that's why, whether it's at beginning of the year performance reviews, when we're talking about goals or we're establishing goal, or it's mid-year, or it is when we're sitting down and assessing where someone is from a milestone achievement, this subject comes up simply because, if you have any ambition at all, whether you are a new manager or you're a seasoned manager. You want to ensure that you have these individuals in hands-distance view in order for you to leverage their expertise, their experience, their support, their advocacy. So it is vital that you engage them, build relationships with them, learn and grow from them and lean on them for whatever it is that you might need, and we're going to talk about that, we're going to talk about the different types, we're going to talk about examples, and then I'm going to give you 10 strategies for actually going about building these type of relationships. All right, so let's first get into the different types, and I mentioned.

Speaker 1:

There's coaches, mentors, advocates and sponsors. There's also what I call your career or personal board of directors. So let's look at coaches Now. Coaches can be professional coaches, like myself, or they could be someone within your company in a prior company. Whatever the case might be, these individuals are really focused on your performance, short-term goals as well as long-term, but their focus is going to be short-term. Their focus is going to be okay. So in three to five years, you want to get to X, but yet we want to break that down and look at the next three months, six months in a year, and establish goals and action plans around that in order for you to achieve those short-term goals.

Speaker 1:

One key element of that that coaches provide is accountability to that. What are you doing? What are you not doing? Why are you doing it, or why are you not doing it? How's it going? What are you doing? What are you not doing? Why are you doing it or why are you not doing it? How's it going? What are the challenges? What are the opportunities? So forth and so on. They also will work with you on specific skills. So say, there's communication skills, or there's relationship building skills, there's conflict resolution issues that you might be having or opportunities that you might just need the skill to be enhanced. Your coaches can help you with that. They can be very structured, following a prescribed methodology that they use, or they could be more tailored, more custom, meeting you where you are at any given point in time. I happen to be that latter type where, based on where you are and what you're working on right now and how it ties to your short and long-term goals, is how I will then provide resources, support, guidance, coaching for you, depending upon your style, will depend upon what you want and what you should be looking for in a coach Again, informal coach or a formal professional coach.

Speaker 1:

The next one would be a mentor and the difference, because a lot of people confuse coaches and mentors. The difference between that and what mentors really focus on is more so providing you guidance and advice and support based on their own experience. Now, of course, coaches will do that as well. They'll use a lot of their experience as well, but they're also using a lot of their education around coaching and their you know, maybe their credentials around coaching. Mentors are primarily using their own experience, their own understanding, especially depending upon where they are in the corporate ladder. They are also leveraging and helping you navigate the inner workings of maybe it's your team, maybe it's a function, maybe it's a department, maybe it's a whole business unit, but your mentors are there to leverage their experience and their expertise to guide you, help you with decision making, navigate challenges and work through issues, both people and processes and practices. So those are where you want mentors, especially within your close sphere, that you can lean on on a day in, day out basis.

Speaker 1:

Now, that said, the structure of a mentor relationship is ad hoc. It is as you need them. It's not, unless you establish it, which it could be. It's not structured like we're going to meet every week or every couple of weeks. Mentors are more based on what your needs are at any given point in time. It could also be where it's not as frequent as a coach professional or informal but could be once a quarter or it could be every couple of months. I would always recommend once a quarter. Every six months is just way too long for you to build that relationship with a mentor to where you know they can then turn into an advocate or a sponsor, and the actual engagement or the structure of a mentoring relationship is one I advocate that you, as the mentoree, you take the initiative to build that relationship, to seek their mentoring, to then engage them, versus them coming to you Not to say that they won't come to you.

Speaker 1:

But I always think that a mentoree should really be doing the heavy lifting, so to speak, because it's all about your career and it's all about, maybe, the opportunities or the challenges that you're having. So be sure that when you go to initiate a mentoring relationship you're initiating, that You're not expecting someone to tap you on the shoulder. Now, some companies do have mentoring programs and the other thing I would suggest is, if your company has one. You should be raising your hand to either be the mentoree or the mentor and, depending upon where you are in your career, you should definitely be positioning yourself as a mentor, but you may also need to be the mentoree, to have a mentor to support your career goals. So then there's advocate.

Speaker 1:

Advocates are those individuals within your organization who really know your work, know your performance, know your behavior, know your leadership style, understand your accomplishments and even the challenges that you've had your accomplishments and even the challenges that you've had and they're able to and choose to want to share that with others, especially others making key decisions regarding opportunities and advancement and overall positioning of an individual within the company. And so it's an informal structure. It's not as if you're going to be meeting with them on a schedule like you would with a coach or a mentor. At the same time, it's a critical relationship in that when you recognize that there is someone who is an advocate of you, or they've come to you and say I love what you do and how you perform and you're doing a fabulous job and I really want to support you and what are your goals, that kind of thing, let's say it's the former, though they haven't come to you but you recognize that someone's an advocate. Well then you can certainly build that relationship to the point where you share with them on a regular basis I'll call it regular, but you share with them your accomplishments, your challenges. You go seek them for either decisions you're contemplating you could be seeking some advice for them and some mentoring, but you are keeping them informed as far as your own accomplishment and your own progress within your role, and then they are leveraging that to help get you progressed and advanced within the organization. So they're very important for you to seek out. Pay attention to those individuals that compliment you in front of other people, that look for opportunities for you and suggest them or downright tell you you should be going after this opportunity.

Speaker 1:

Advocates are key. So then there are sponsors very similar to advocates. At the same time, these are really influential people. These are the top decision makers of a company that also are in touch with and in tune with your performance, your contribution, the value you bring to the company, the opportunities they see for you, and they are wanting to really secure opportunities for you, get you advanced, get you that next big project or that next initiative that will give you the visibility and the opportunity and the stretching of your goal that they want from you and need from you. So sponsors are directly invested in your career because they also see the value you bring to them. So say, you are what I'll call a massive producer, a revenue generator and just an overall huge contributor and you are helping that individual even getting advanced. Well, they have an investment in you now and they want to see you advance as well and you be successful as well and they'll pull you along. Okay, so those are sponsors.

Speaker 1:

Now, board of directors are a combination of all of these individuals, but they're also individuals that you intentionally identify, that you want to know are there for you if you do have a decision to make, a challenge to work through, an opportunity to consider or just overall, get some advice and some guidance from them. And they're both personal and professional individuals, so they're not necessarily just the people in your organization. They could be in your community, in your social circle, and you just recognize that you really trust and respect and regard this individual with high esteem and therefore, when something does come up that you need support on, you can lean on them. And so intentionally, almost like an org chart, is the way I approached it almost 14 years ago, when I left corporate and started my own business, is I defined an org chart of the type of individuals that I wanted to be part of my advisory board, and that way I had individuals from all backgrounds, all cultures, all demographics, all levels of the hierarchy, all corporate and entrepreneurial, even just family members. Just because you want that different perspective, you want that span of influence, all right. So those are your coaches, mentors, advocates, sponsors and board of directors. Now let me walk you through, just so you're clear on it, some examples of how you would use them, each one of them beyond what we've already talked about.

Speaker 1:

So a coach say you're struggling as a leader. Say you've been promoted, you were an individual contributor before, now you're managing people, but you've never managed people before and you're just overwhelmed. You're. You know. They say, and I say people are your number one asset. You make the people happy, they'll be happy, you'll be happy, everyone will be happy. And yet you really aren't experienced in that. Or you're having challenges in building a relationship, building trust with team members. So that's where you could go to a coach tell them your short and long-term goals. I wanna be a powerhouse leader, a people leader, and these are the challenges I'm having. These are opportunities I see, and then they can help guide and coach you through that.

Speaker 1:

Coaches in the past have had. Especially formal, professional, paid coaches have had a bad rap in the past within companies because the employees saw it as well they must be a troubled child if someone is getting them a coach. Well, that is no longer the case. It wasn't even the case then. Coaches are viable, valuable tools to be using in your career. Whether you hire them yourself or the company hires them for you, they will help you accomplish those short-term goals which will lead to your long-term goals. So those are coaches and that's an example of how to leverage a coach.

Speaker 1:

To leverage a coach Now from a mentoring perspective. Say, you have challenges with socialization, maybe even public speaking, and you're just not polished when it comes to mingling and small talk, let alone getting up in front of individuals, and therefore you want to find someone in the company that you really respect and see them being a very polished speaker, being a very polished socializer and networker, and therefore you build a relationship with them and over time you eventually you know and you're asking them for advice along the way, but it's nothing real formal. But then eventually you say you know what I would love for you to mentor me. I need to be able to, you know, hobnob with the upper management, let alone my peers and team members, and you're so good at it, you know, is there, you know, an opportunity for us to, you know, support each other and can you, you know, help me, kind of come out of my shell, so to speak. So that is an example of how you could be leveraging a manager.

Speaker 1:

Now an advocate is again. You found this individual. You know that they're advocating for you, they're sharing your accomplishments, they're really promoting you within the company and you're keeping them up to date on your accomplishments and the work that you're doing, the initiatives, the awards, the challenges that you're having. Therefore, they're going out and they're really kind of highlighting those contributions, those accomplishments. So you definitely want to leverage them to help you share what you're doing in your role, help you share what you're doing in your role, because so many individuals say I don't get feedback, I don't know how other people see me or feel about me. Yet your advocate certainly does. But you want to leverage them to be another voice, another mouthpiece for you within the company.

Speaker 1:

Now, the sponsors are going to be those individuals that if a new project comes up, a new initiative comes up, a new job opening comes up, they are going to be right there advocating for you at the highest of levels. And so the sponsor has a blend of advocacy, because that's what they're doing. They are pushing you for that next opportunity and getting that visibility and that positioning for you, and so, again, like an advocate, you really want to keep them informed. You may not know who these sponsors are Now, if you're good and you are building relationships and networking the way you should be, you would know that someone is an advocate slash. They are behind closed doors, sharing and really pushing and helping you be tagged for that next opportunity. So that's why you definitely want to build that relationship and keep them informed and updated with all the good, bad and the ugly and become a PR source of yourself to other people and they'll do the same thing. Okay, so that's your sponsor.

Speaker 1:

And for the board of advisors, it's really because it's a combination of all of them personal and professional relationships and connections that you trust and know that they'll keep your confidence. And so those are just. You have a situation good, bad or ugly and you say, okay, wait, this individual let's say it's a family member I have a couple of family members that I lean on when I'm dealing with both business or personal stuff, and they're not even in anywhere near the same type of business that I do, but yet their guidance and their advice over the years just proves that I can always lean on them. And so use your board of directors for critical decisions that you have to make, opportunities that you're trying to consider, challenges that you're having, so forth and so on. All right, so those are some examples of how to leverage all of these individuals.

Speaker 1:

All right, now that you understand the five different types of individuals you should be having in your board of directors or your circle of influence, and you now have some examples of how you'd be leveraging them, let's talk about 10 strategies you could be taking right now in order to either bring on these types of advisors, guide, support systems into your world or enhance the relationships you might have already established. All right, so first off is to just identify and engage coaches and mentors Like look around you and, you know, find individuals within your company, within your past, within your social world that can be a coach or a mentor for you. All right, mentors are. I'll say this that I prefer you to find a mentor within your organization because they'll know specific challenges that you're having. You could have mentors outside of that for sure, but certainly look for a mentor within your organization, within your team or function or business, but at least under the umbrella. That way they'll really understand the complexities of whatever it is that you might be dealing with. All right, but identify and engage a coach and a mentor. And please look at the coaches as development and enhancement, not, as you know, because you're struggling, and enhancement not, as you know, because you're struggling. It could just simply be because you have big aspirations and you want to ensure that you're achieving them.

Speaker 1:

Number two would be definitely cultivate those advocates. Make sure that you are paying attention, and this takes a little bit of I'll call it ego, I guess, because a lot of individuals that I work with they dismiss. When someone compliment them or when someone highlights them in, you know, in front of other people, they kind of dismiss it. They actually oftentimes will apologize, you know, oh well, I had a good day, type of thing. Well, you need to pay attention to that, because that individual is most likely an advocate and that's a relationship you want to foster. Okay, so, cultivate those relationships.

Speaker 1:

And the third one would be seek to secure those and on the back of that would be the third strategy would be make sure you are securing those sponsors. Again, you're paying attention, you build that relationship, you share updates, you bring up opportunities that you see that you want their support and help with, but you're really looking to secure that you have a sponsor, especially at the highest level, because these are the individuals that are at the highest of levels, getting in rooms and having discussions regarding the future of the company. So you want to leverage that and secure those sponsors. The other one would be get your board of directors established, identify, make a list or an org chart, but make a list of individuals that you really trust, that you really respect, that you hold in high regard, that have the experience and the skills and the accomplishments, personally or professionally, that you're looking to achieve. You always want to level up and establish it. You don't have to necessarily go around and talk about it, you just establish it for yourself and when something comes up, you can look at that list or look at that structure and say, okay, I want to go talk to, especially for different perspectives you know Joe, sam and Sally, so establish that.

Speaker 1:

And then, based on these relationships, you're always looking to seek feedback. You want to ask them point blank how am I doing? Where should I be focused? What should my priorities be? What insights do you have? Whatever the case might be, you want to be not only giving them updates, but you want to be asking them for updates on you. Have you found an opportunity for me? Not that, but feedback on kind of how are you doing? How are you? You know, how are you showing up.

Speaker 1:

You know, when you're in certain environments, like I had mentioned with the mentor and public speaking, you know there's chances that if you're all all of a sudden given opportunities giving visibility and you're in front of different audiences that you're not accustomed to, then you you're going to want to ask for help and support and advice on how best to show up. But at the same time, after you do, you want to say, if they were there, say they were in the same room or on the same call, you want to say, okay, what's your feedback? What did you take away from that? Where can I improve, where was I really strong, so forth, and so on. But feedback is absolutely critical. Be sure that you are seeking opportunities to then mentor other people. So you know, if you're even 30, you've been there, done that in some respect. So go and also seek for you to be a mentor and mentor someone else. It is a great opportunity for you to expand and grow and learn about yourself. Great opportunity for you to expand and grow and learn about yourself. At the same time, it's definitely some credence, some credibility toward you as a leader, all right. So go and seek mentoring opportunities.

Speaker 1:

And then you definitely have to, as I mentioned earlier, you have to be your PR mouthpiece. You have to showcase your accomplishments. No one else is going to do it. Do you ever find team members, or even your boss at times, really kind of evangelizing you and sharing your accomplishments? Because the advocates and the sponsors are a very, very, very small pool of individuals. I'm not even talking a handful, I'm talking like one person maybe, maybe two and three if you're absolutely a rock star, okay. So you need to be sure that other people know what you're accomplishing, what you've done, what initiatives you're working on. You need to promote yourself, okay. And then I get this challenge a lot from individuals, but I find that there's very ambitious individuals who struggle to actually take initiative in seeking out opportunities for themselves. So you have to absolutely take initiative.

Speaker 1:

It's number eight is to take initiative. If there is a problem that no one is working on to solve, take the initiative to do it. You might even just take the initiative because maybe it's not in your function and you might be stepping on toes. Take the initiative to point it out to someone so they can solve it. But at the same time, don't underestimate the ability for you to be able to take on that initiative yourself. If there's a new project, volunteer to be part of it, even if it's in a space that you're not familiar with. The experience and the expertise you can gain from it iser to be part of it. Even if it's in a space that you're not familiar with, the experience and the expertise you can gain from it is going to be advantageous to you. Take initiative to help someone else, to support your team members, support your peers. Take initiative.

Speaker 1:

It's unbelievable to me how often I'll be coaching or even just engaging with professionals and all of a sudden, I'll hear something that they will say about a project or an issue that the business is having or a challenge that people are having, and I'm like, ok, so what have you done about it? And they're like it's not my problem, not my initiative, it's not my function. So take initiative and then, of course, build those relationships. Get out of your comfort zone, get out of your you know space where you're just heads down and go and build relationships inside your team, inside your function, inside your business, but across as well. I can't tell you how many people will tell me well, I just make sure that I build the relationships with the people that will help me accomplish my goals, like accomplish my tasks that I'm working on right now. They're not thinking about the future. They're not thinking about, you know, that career path that they may have defined for themselves and a lot of cases they haven't defined it and that's one reason why they're not building their relationships. I was even told flat out well, I don't, you know, I don't build relationships with them because they don't help me today, well, that'll hurt you possibly in the future. So be sure you're building those relationships.

Speaker 1:

And number 10 is everything should be a win-win when you have relationships. It's not a me only, all right. So relationships means it's a give and take. I'll help you, you'll help me. Serve others to serve you. It's a win-win. So ensure that you're also providing them value. How can I help you? What do you need? You know what can I contribute to you, know your goals and what it is that you're trying to achieve.

Speaker 1:

And then, at the same time, not only that, but especially mentors, advocates and sponsors they are expecting a great deal from you and they should, so do you know? Go over and beyond. As my dad always says, leave people in places better than you found them. Focus on, you know, over delivering, not just accomplishing, but over delivering, over serving. Just quality support, quality performance, quality leadership, quality accomplishments, but deliver value. So then, when especially your advocates and sponsors stand up and say, you know, joe is perfect for this opportunity, you don't have someone else in the room going. Well, you know, I'm glad you think so, but I don't. And they spew out some examples of that.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so be sure that you're giving an ROI to everyone involved in that board of directors, in your circle of influence, and having these relationships are absolutely critical to your career today and in the future. It doesn't matter if you're 30 or you're 65 and you're still working. You still want to be accomplishing and advancing. Build these relationships and you'll find yourself skyrocketing in your career. All right, I am so happy that you are with us. Thank you so much for being here and allowing me to share with you the importance and the career catalyst that is your coaches, mentors, advocates and sponsors, and even your personal board of directors. And just keep shedding those fears, insecurities, doubts and negativities what we call bitches here, so you can be creating the riches in your career and life you deserve and be the powerhouse leader that you are meant to be. Until next time, take care.

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Bernadette Boas

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