Shedding the Corporate Bitch

Unconscious Leaders Kills Success

• Bernadette Boas • Episode 416

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Have you ever gotten into a car, drove for miles, and reached your destination unsure of exactly how you go there? It was if you put the car on autopilot. 

Now, have you had days, weeks, even months of this at the job and at home, wondering at the end of each day, what you accomplished, who you impacted, and what contribution did you make?

Don't worry if you said YES... because at times we all have. The key is, that we become aware of it and ensure we shift to consciously and intentionally walking through our day with purpose and meaning. 

In this eye-opening episode of "Shedding the Corporate Bitch," we'll get into the realm of unconscious leadership and its detrimental effects on team dynamics, trust, productivity, and innovation. Drawing from both my own personal experiences and professional insights, you'll hear how the importance of self-awareness and continuous feedback in overcoming unconscious behaviors and evolving into a conscious leader is critical to your success. 

This episode is a must-listen for any professional, HR executive, or team leader striving to create an engaging and inclusive workplace culture.

Key Talking Points:

  • Unconscious Leadership Explained
  • Challenges Faced by Unconscious Leaders
  • Impact on Business
  • How to Transform into a Conscious Leader

Key Takeaways:

  • Recognize and address personal blind spots and biases
  • Move from task-focused to people-focused leadership 
  • Getting and giving continuous feedback and self-assessment 
  • Empower your teams through inclusive and engaging leadership 
  • Develop intentional and conscious behavior for overall success

Resources and Call to Action:


Tune in and start creating a workplace culture your team members and others want to be part of.

Support the show

Speaker 1:

Are you leading with complete awareness or are you holding your team and business back by operating on autopilot? Welcome back to Shedding the Corporate Bitch. I'm your host, Bernadette Bowes, and we tackle the big issue shaping modern leadership, and today we're diving into a topic that could be a silent killer of your team's success, that is, unconscious leadership. Think about it. Have you ever worked with or have you been a leader who's just a little out of touch, almost acting and operating robotically? Someone who makes decisions without fully understanding the impact on your team? It's not always intentional, but the effects can be devastating Lower productivity, higher turnover, damaged trust and even missed opportunities for innovation.

Speaker 1:

So here's the hard truth In today's fast-paced, hyper-connected world, unconscious leadership is no longer just a minor flaw. It's a liability, and if you're not evolving, you could be leaving your team and your organization behind. In this episode, we're breaking down the stats, the challenges and the very real business impacts of unconscious leadership. More importantly, we'll explore how managers can transform into conscious leaders, the kind who inspire trust, drive performance and unlock the full potential of their teams. Because, let's face it, leadership isn't just about what you do. It's about how you show up. Stay with us.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms today's managers into tomorrow's powerhouse leaders. Your host, bernadette Boas, executive coach and author, brings you into a world where the corporate grind meets personal growth and success in each and every episode. With more than 25 years in corporate trenches, bernadette's own journey from being dismissed as a tyrant boss to becoming a sought-after leadership coach and speaker illustrates the very essence of transformation that she now inspires in others with her tips, strategies and stories. So if you're ready to shed the bitches of fear and insecurity, ditch the imposter syndrome and step into the role of the powerhouse leader you were born to be, this podcast is for you. Let's do this.

Speaker 1:

Last week I was thrilled that I was going to be driving an hour and 15 or so minutes to the airport to pick up my sister, and I was sitting outside the terminal waiting for her and I started reflecting back on that drive and I suddenly realized that I had no idea how I got to the airport. None, I certainly got in the car, pushed the button and got on the road. After that I just checked out, I went on autopilot and totally missed the opportunity to check out the scenery. Watch all the cars and trucks around me pay attention to the signs and trucks around me pay attention to the signs. I just completely went robotic and I started thinking to myself that is oftentimes what a lot of managers do out there and a lot of leaders who think that they're giving their people what they need, that they're there for them, that they're present and intentional, but they're really not.

Speaker 1:

I had a situation myself, probably about 14 years ago now, when I first started my business and all I was doing morning, noon and night was executing. You know, creating a to-do list and, just you know, waking up in the morning, showing up and making sure that I got that to-do list done by the end of the day, and oftentimes it went into the night, and then by the time I either collapsed on the couch or collapsed on my bed. I reflected back on the day and would often find myself thinking I didn't impact anything other than my to-do list. I didn't inspire, I didn't develop, I didn't grow the team members that were working for me, I didn't really add value to anything and I wasn't present and intentional and thoughtful in how I was operating. And therefore the decisions I were making were pretty rash not necessarily wrong, but very rash and the stress and the impact that I was putting on myself in order to stay in that state of operating was having a very detrimental impact on myself, my team members and, overall, the results that I was getting. And so I thought to myself this is a good conversation to have, one to even talk about what is unconscious leadership. A lot of managers I speak to don't really have a grasp of that. They don't even really realize that that exists. So I thought we would talk about that. We would talk about the characteristics of unconscious leadership, the challenges, the impacts to both business and your leadership and, as well, what can you do about it.

Speaker 1:

So first, let's define and characterize unconscious leadership. Mainly, it is that complete lack of self-awareness. It's that complete lack of understanding one's own self, who they are, what they want, what they don't want, what's important to them, what's not important to them, what are their strengths, what are their weaknesses, what are their biases, what are their preconceived notions or opinions or judgments that could be influencing one way or the other, or opinions or judgments that could be influencing one way or the other, what they're doing and how they're doing it, which really can be damaging not only to oneself in how they're coming across to others, how they're executing, how they're decision-making, how they're relating and connecting and building relationships with others, but also to the team and to the business, and we'll talk more about the implications in a minute. Then there is the implicit biases that are often created due to one's lack of self-awareness and being unconscious, not really having a grasp on those beliefs, on those values, on their own opinions, not completely aware of those judgments that they have, and therefore they're building biases and operating against biases that may or may not be relevant or realistic and therefore, if they remain in that state, then they're actually creating distrust, they're actually creating a non-inclusive workplace environment and a lot of opportunity for them to be detrimental to the team, to themselves and to the business be detrimental to the team, to themselves and to the business.

Speaker 1:

Then, of course, if you are unconscious and if you're not very intentional or thoughtful about the decisions you make and the actions that you're taking, the words that you're using, the behavior that you had, then you're often operating in a very reactionary state as opposed to proactive. In a very reactionary state as opposed to proactive, you're kind of responding to the moment, responding to the action one has taken or just what is happening at that moment in time, and not really being proactive or thoughtful about what it is that you need to be doing, what it is that you need to be providing, what it is that you need to be delegating. You're just pretty much operating on that autopilot and reacting to every situation as opposed to being very thoughtful and decisive about the next step you're going to take. And then oftentimes if someone is considered an unconscious leader, it's because people see them as operators as opposed to people, developers. They're pretty much concerned about executing and the outcomes and results, as opposed to what is needed in all of the people that are supporting them in accomplishing those goals in developing them and giving them the guidance and the coaching and the training and the development that is needed in order for everyone to really work at their best and optimize their skills and level up what their capabilities are. They're just more concerned, and in their head, about getting that to-do list checked off, as opposed to that impact that I mentioned earlier, that value that would be added to the business if you are intentional and very conscious of everything going on around you and within you. So those are some of the key characteristics and if you've ever experienced a day, like I did in regards to that airport drive, where you just feel like you get to the end of the day, you want to stay in touch with yourself each and every day how you're projecting, how you're responding, how you're acting, how you're supporting, and if they're not in the ways that are going to be productive and inspiring and motivational and supportive of everything going on around you, then you want to just be intentional about making shifts in order for you to do so, in order for you to get out of that state and move into a place where you are very present, very focused, very intentional and purposeful in what it is that you're doing Now. Let's take those characteristics and look at the challenges of being an unconscious leader, whether that be you or be someone else that you're working with.

Speaker 1:

Very much linked in together is that those biases, those judgments that you have, those opinions that you have. They can really feed into some poor decision-making. If all of a sudden you know you're working off of favoritism, you're working off of attitude, you're working off of those biases or prejudgments that you have of others, of situations, of events, then the decisions that you make are going to be driven by that, as opposed to what's best for the team or what's best for the company, to what's best for the team or what's best for the company, and that will become a problem. At first it may not be evident, it may not be very apparent to those around you. At the same time, don't ever be fooled about what your people are observing and drawing conclusions on, because many times it's everyone around someone who's unconscious that recognizes the biases, recognizes the favoritism, the prejudgments, the negativity, the defensiveness, the lack of self-awareness, long before the individual themselves recognize it. But what you want to be sure of is that you become conscious of it, you flip that switch, because it will destroy your team morale. It will destroy any trust or respect that your teammates have toward you, as well as any type of business success that you're working very hard to accomplish.

Speaker 1:

The next one would be oftentimes unconscious. Leaders are very resistant and even defensive when it comes to feedback. Not only do they rarely seek feedback because they're nervous and not really comfortable in wanting to receive it, but they completely avoid it, ignore it, delete it and kind of deflect it on other excuses and other people and other reasons for it to happen. A big challenge with an unconscious leader is going to be to actually able to develop and elevate someone's actually able to develop and elevate someone's capabilities, someone's contribution, because if one is resistant to that feedback, especially critical feedback, let alone praise and recognition, well then you're not going to get the most and the best out of them if they're just constantly guarded and putting up walls and trying to receive any type of feedback. Now, of course there's extremes of feedback, right. But oftentimes if someone's unconscious of their strengths or their weaknesses, of the perception others have of them, of the impact or experience others have with them, then you raising up any type of feedback to them is going to come with a lot of defensiveness or excuses or deflection, and so a big challenge is that resistance to feedback.

Speaker 1:

Imagine the effect on a team and the dynamics of the team and the high functioning of the team if they are working with or for a unconscious leader, because everything starts breaking down. If those characteristics that we talked about lack of self-awareness, the biases, the reactionary about Lack of self-awareness, the biases, the reactionary behavior is all going to cause others to be confused, be frustrated, their morale is going to get hit, that lack of trust and that lack of respect and therefore, all of a sudden you have a collective or a team that starts breaking down and falling apart and even like being disjointed and becoming very dysfunctional as opposed to functional. So, based on the characteristics of an unconscious leader and the challenges that that makes for your team and the business and even for oneself, you definitely want to understand the impacts to the business and to your own leadership style. So then you can also find strategies and tips to work through it and to get beyond it. Let's talk about those impacts and, like I mentioned, they're going to be both to the business slash team as well as yourself. We'll talk about the business slash team first before we talk about the impact that it would have to you or to someone who is an unconscious leader.

Speaker 1:

If you're all of a sudden having poor morale, poor teaming, poor execution, it's going to drive down the productivity. It's going to drive down the willingness for the team members to go over and beyond, to really show up and want to contribute. You're going to all of a sudden find them very disconnected, very disengaged, very combative, even because of the fact of they're just projecting their own frustration and their own dissatisfaction with how someone is leading or operating, working with them or for them. You'll start immediately losing productivity and effectiveness and even efficiency out of your team members, without addressing someone that might be unconscious to the impact that they're having on those around them and of course, that's just going to lead to turnover. There's more people leave because the manager than the company. More people leave for the manager than the job itself. More people leave because the manager than they do, that they're bored or frustrated with their job. It ultimately will often come down to and back to the manager and what the manager is not providing.

Speaker 1:

So you're going to have a decrease in productivity, you're going to have an increase in turnover and then, at the same time, all of that is just festering and creating a poor internal image of the company, because many employees will start questioning the leadership, the further leadership of a company. By why are they allowing this person to continue to lead, or so-called lead and manage, when they're just destroying the team dynamics and the workplace culture? And so, all of a sudden, what we'll call the brand or the reputation of the team and the company can start eroding tremendously Because again, people will leave, and their mouthpieces, especially when they're social media. So you really want to ensure that these individuals are addressed and given the opportunity to make shifts and changes, because it's not only going to hurt them or their team and that part of the business, but it could hurt the business as a whole and the reputation of the company, not only for stakeholders, external stakeholders, but new hires, vendors, partners, so forth and so on.

Speaker 1:

And then, lastly, if you have an unconscious leader who is operating on their own biases, on their own preconceived notions, on their own opinions, on their own likes and dislikes, that is very constricting, that is very limiting, that is not allowing for a lot of creativity or innovation to occur, because it's not necessarily always it's my way or the highway, however, them not being in touch with not only their own strengths, weaknesses, biases, but also those of their team members, those of their customers, the operations of the business and, ultimately, innovation. Creativity not allowing for different perspectives and different viewpoints and different ideas to come into the fold will all of a sudden kind of turn off the valve of any type of creativity or innovation that can happen within the team or within the business. And again, that could then come back and bite you when it comes to the reputation of the company or the brand of the company and that ultimately will lead to that decreased productivity, increased turnover and, just overall, creating a very dysfunctional operation for sure. And all of those impacts to the business are going to ultimately come back to that individual, come back to that leader and hurt them and impact them in a certain way, such as, overall, their credibility, their reputation, their personal brand within the company and outside the company. Outside the company it can even go as far as vendors, customers, partners, let alone a board or stakeholders, and then, of course, it'll first start impacting them within the four walls of their business. But their credibility, the trust, the respect we talked about all take a major hit if they remain unconscious. At the same time, they're going to really suffer from the fact that that dysfunctional team, based on the low morale, the frustration, the aggravation, even the distrust that they're building for their individual manager but also for the rest of the leadership team, starts getting eroded because they're not addressing it, they're not holding them accountable, they're not doing something about it. Well, the next thing, you know, the team dynamics break down, the breakdown of the culture that many of the team members hope would be embedded into the organization. And yet this manager slash leader is just eroding it and therefore just losing all the trust and respect for the leader.

Speaker 1:

Certainly, if they're not conscious of the needs and the wants of the people that are working with them and for them, then they're certainly not coaching, developing, motivating, inspiring, getting the training and the development and the growth and the mentoring and the coaching that is needed for team members to optimize their own capabilities. But if you fail to develop your team, then you're just looking to open the door and just send all of your talented workforce out the door, and I know no hardworking People manager really wants that and I know no hardworking corporate professional is looking to intentionally do that. It's not as if they wake up every morning saying to themselves okay, what team member can I destroy, what team can I break apart? What destruction can I do in the business today? And therefore, it's even that much more important to give one the tools and the observations and the feedback that are needed for them to flip that switch from being unconscious to being conscious.

Speaker 1:

But lastly, another implication to one's leadership is if you don't get feedback and I won't say you if one doesn't receive feedback and really learn about their strengths, learn about their blind spots, learn about the areas for improvement, learn about the perception others have of them, learn about the experience they create each and every moment that they're engaging with those around them, well then there isn't even an opportunity for one to learn and grow. They're just choosing to stay in the state of which they are. And again, I can certainly sympathize and understand that state of mind, that state of being, because in that time that I had mentioned, a couple of years into building my own business and just going at it almost like 20 hours a day, but not very conscious or aware at all about what I was doing, how I was doing it, what I was saying, what I was not saying just wanting to get the checklist of the thousands of things that I needed to do done. It definitely woke me up when, finally, someone sat me down and gave me the feedback, as hard as it was and as painful as it was to really see that, with all the strengths and skills and talents that I possessed, all of those blind spots, all of those weaknesses, all of those areas for improvement were destroying me and my future. And so your team members deserve and or this individual that might be an unconscious leader deserves to get that feedback, regardless of how resistant they are to it. They need to be given the feedback so they have an opportunity to change. So be sure that, if you see individuals with the characteristics of an unconscious leader, help them flip the switch and get them the support that they need in order to make the shifts and the changes and the transformation needed for them to be very effective.

Speaker 1:

Powerhouse leaders. Now let's talk about what one can do in order to flip that switch, as I mentioned, and really become conscious and intentional and thoughtful so they can become that powerhouse leader that their team wants and the company needs. And, of course, if you took the challenges and then just flipped them on the head. That's what you're gonna get as far as. What can one be doing in order to become conscious? So, the first one being that develop self-awareness, ask for those self-assessments, ask for those 360 feedbacks, ask for even the coaching and the mentoring, the training that is needed in order for one to really recognize within themselves and from other people's input as to their strengths or weaknesses, the areas for improvement, their blind spots, the experiences people have with them, the perception other people have of them, but help them and give them the tools and the resources needed for them to build that self-awareness.

Speaker 1:

Oftentimes, an individual can do it one-on-one. I would say that my shedding, as I call it primarily, was done one-on-one. I'm a journaler, so I do a lot of writing and I did sit down and formulate a whole series of questions what I use with my clients now but and really started to just pour everything into the journals to really uncover and discover who I really was and who I really wanted to be. At the same time, majority of the individuals, they need some guidance, they need some support, whether that's internal or external, and if it is external, you do want them to have a coach or someone that they can lean on, be a sounding board to ask the questions that help them kind of discover who they are. Then feel free to schedule a call with me. You can just go to pushmebernadettecom board slash discovery call and let's have a conversation, let's get them the support that they deserve to have All right.

Speaker 1:

So then the next one would be that you really want, through that process of self-assessment, through that process of discovery, as I call it in my five steps, to shift to riches, is you want them to identify any biases that they have, any judgments that they have, any favoritism that they have towards individuals. And again, if they're doing the 360 type of assessment, they're also going to gain that type of feedback from others in regards to the perception others have of them when it comes to favoritism or judgments or opinions that are currently driving their decision-making, driving their actions, driving their behaviors. You want to ensure that one is not only self-assessing but they're really looking for those biases, those blind spots, so they can then see and make a judgment as to whether or not they're working for them or against them, and then to find strategies to work away from those things that they don't want and, of course, all the things that we talked about regarding the implications and the challenges. A lot of it had to do with the breakdown of the workplace culture, of the team dynamics, of taking a functioning team and making them dysfunctional. But now we want to make them highly functional and so you really want to ensure that this individual is given the tools and the understanding of what it takes to have a very inclusive, engaged, supported workplace culture, and so that individual needs to adopt more of a inclusive leadership, slash conscious. So then, they are fostering and developing and creating an inclusive workplace as opposed to a disparate one. So foster an inclusive leadership.

Speaker 1:

And then, lastly, this individual definitely wants to seek feedback, and not only one time, and I have to address this too often with some of my clients. But feedback isn't a one-time deal. Feedback isn't your end of year, your mid-year, your 360. It is continuous. It is a cadence that you put yourself on or put someone on. When it comes to feedback, it should be regular, it should be when things are happening, it should be dynamic and yet, at the same time, purposeful if it's not scheduled. So if you want to really ensure that someone who has demonstrated unconscious characteristics, you want to ensure that they are putting a schedule, putting a cadence in place to gain consistent and regular feedback. So then they're always aware and they're always on top of perception and the experience that they're creating with others and of themselves at the same time.

Speaker 1:

Because, again, there is going to be instances in our daily lives, in our weekly, monthly, yearly lives, where it feels, if it's not reality, that we're on autopilot, that we're just robotic in how we're going about our day in, day out, there are just too many people not only being reactive versus proactive or being unconscious versus conscious, but they're just doing whatever they can to survive, as opposed to putting the tools, the resources, the support in place to really operate on a day inin day-out basis to thrive, to be present, to appreciate what is happening right now, to be conscious and aware and intentional about their behavior, the words that they're using, the body position, the decisions they're making, the judgments that they're conveying. It really takes time and it takes patience and it takes a lot of intentionality for one to really want to thrive in how they're operating and how they're leading than it does to just survive, because you go into survival mode and it's just panic and chaos and dysfunction. You work to go into a thriving mode and a conscious mode and a intentional mode, and you'd be amazed at how everything just starts to settle down, slow down, calm down, and everything starts to percolate in regards to getting high productivity, high efficiency and effectiveness, highly functioning team members and a team as a whole and someone as an individual All right. Being an unconscious leader is not good for the team, the business or oneself. So if there is anyone in your universe, let alone in your immediate fear of a team or a business, then you definitely want to get them the support and the help and the feedback that they need in order to flip that switch, in order to take off the blinders, in order for them to really see themselves how others see them, so they can then put a plan in place for them to become the powerhouse leader that they're really meant to be and the team needs and the company wants. So if you need any support in any way in order to help someone that you might sense is going down that path or is already there, then again feel free to schedule some time with me and let's talk. Go to coachmebernadettecom. Forward slash discovery call.

Speaker 1:

Life goes way too fast to be on autopilot and to be totally blank, of any type of awareness of where you are, what you're doing, what you're saying, how you're saying it and what value and contribution you're making to the world around you or to the world around them.

Speaker 1:

In summary, we talked about exactly what is unconscious leadership and what are the characteristics that make up an unconscious individual, and then we tied that to what are the challenges that someone operating in that state of being has on the team, the business and even themselves, and then discussed the implications to both the business and that leader in that individual, with strategies as to what can be done, what steps can be taken in order for someone to flip the switch and become a conscious leader. So if you have any questions in regards to any of it, then be sure to reach out and schedule some time with me. Let's talk and get you the information that you need. You can learn more at balloffirecoachingcom as well. Go right to my calendar at coachmubernadettecom forward slash discovery call and let's have a conversation. I am thrilled that you were here with us for this episode and I'll look forward to having you for another episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch.

Speaker 2:

Take care. Thank you for tuning into today's episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Every journey taken together is another step towards unleashing the powerhouse leader within you. Don't miss any of our weekly episodes. Subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, spotify or wherever you love to listen. And, for those who thrive on visual content, catch us on our Shedding the Bitch YouTube channel. Want to dive deeper with Bernadette on becoming a powerhouse leader? Visit balloffirecoachingcom to learn more about how she helps professionals, hr executives and team leaders elevate overall team performance. You've been listening to Shedding the Corporate Bitch with Bernadette Boas. Until next time, keep shedding, keep growing and keep leading.

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