Shedding the Corporate Bitch
Welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch – the podcast that challenges the status quo and empowers bold professionals to ditch outdated expectations, rewrite the rules, and rise into leadership on their own terms.
Hosted by transformational coach and unapologetic truth-teller Bernadette Boas, each episode delivers raw insights, unfiltered conversations, and practical strategies for ambitious corporate professionals, executive leaders, and HR trailblazers who are ready to level up—without selling out.
Whether you're navigating toxic cultures, battling burnout, or aiming for that next big role, this show is your weekly dose of motivation, straight talk, and real solutions that get results.
Follow now—and start shedding what no longer serves you, so you can build a career and life that actually fits you.
Shedding the Corporate Bitch
Ask Bigger. Lead Louder. Win More! with Dia Bondi
In this episode, host Bernadette Boas sits down with world-class leadership communications coach and auctioneer Dia Bondi to explore the bold truth behind powerful leadership: your voice isn't just a tool—it's your greatest asset.
Whether you’re an executive, founder, HR leader, or people manager, this conversation will challenge you to rethink how you communicate, what you ask for, and why you're not being heard the way you should be.
Dia shares powerful insights from two decades of coaching C-suite leaders and venture-backed founders, revealing how to:
- Use your origin story to build executive presence
- Make bold asks that test your limits—and open new doors
- Develop a leadership voice that commands attention and drives results
- Avoid becoming “technically perfect but strategically invisible”
- Align purpose with presence to inspire and influence at every level
If your leaders are playing small or your teams are struggling to articulate their vision, this episode is a must-listen for building high-impact communicators across your organization.
Dia Bondi is a Communications Catalyst helping high-impact leaders and founders speak powerfully to win decisions and resources and carve a path for their future. She’s the author of Ask Like an Auctioneer and has worked with brands like Google X, Dropbox, and Salesforce—and even helped Rio land the 2016 Olympics.
🎯 Perfect for: Corporate professionals, HR executives, leadership development pros, and high-potential leaders ready to use their voice to lead with confidence and conviction.
🔹 Learn more about Dia Bondi: https://www.diabondi.com
FOLLOW, SUBSCRIBE, and LIKE the show at www.balloffirecoaching.com/podcast
Welcome back to Shedding the Corporate Bits, the podcast where we ditch the status quo and redefine what powerhouse leadership really looks like. Today's episode is a masterclass in commanding attention, making bold asks and owning the mic, and I've got just the powerhouse to deliver it. Meet Dia Bondi. She's a communications catalyst for high-impact leaders, a keynote pro and the author of Ask. Like an Auctioneer. She's coached executives at Google X, salesforce, dropbox and even helped Rio land the 2016 Olympics. Yeah, she's that good.
Speaker 1:We're diving into how you can lead with more impact and clarity, maximize every ask for bigger, better results and craft a magnetic origin story that sells your value before you even drop the mic. Here's what you walk away with the power to ask for more and actually get it by breaking your own limiting assumptions. A bold reminder that your voice isn't just a communication tool. It's your leadership weapon and a fresh way to use your story to build instant trust and context for your success. Corporate leaders, it's time to stop playing small. If you're ready to influence decisions, drive results and finally speak with the authority your role demands, this episode is for you, so let's get into it.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms today's managers into tomorrow's powerhouse leaders. Your host, bernadette Boas, executive coach and author, brings you into a world where the corporate grind meets personal growth and success in each and every episode. With more than 25 years in corporate trenches, bernadette's own journey from being dismissed as a tyrant boss to becoming a sought-after leadership coach and speaker illustrates the very essence of transformation that she now inspires in others with her tips, strategies and stories. So if you're ready to shed the bitches of fear and insecurity, ditch the imposter syndrome and step into the role of the powerhouse leader you were born to be, this podcast is for you. Let's do this.
Speaker 1:Dia, welcome, welcome, welcome. How are you?
Speaker 3:I'm good. I was just saying that spring has sprung and when the sun's out I feel better about everything.
Speaker 1:It is a beautiful thing, isn't it? It is a beautiful, beautiful thing no longer hibernating.
Speaker 3:No, I'm ready. I'm ready to be outside.
Speaker 1:You and me both, you and me both. Well, I am very much looking forward to this conversation, all about using one's voice to get what they want and doing it powerfully and boldly, as you will share with us Before we do. I love our listeners and viewers to get to know our guests on a personal level, so can you share a little bit about Dia?
Speaker 3:Well, I grew up in Northern California and from the time I was a little kid I had well, all my friends had the fantasies of being, you know, a fireman or a nurse or a teacher, those boxes that you sort of have you know about when you're little. I wanted to be a long haul truck driver. That was my fantasy. I wanted my own 18 wheeler that was sparkly and chromed out potentially purple, maybe red.
Speaker 3:And it's funny now that I look back on that I realized that that was sort of a foreshadowing of like what I would actually do later in life, because it was about being out on the road and having adventures. You know it was about. It was about being sort of a singular voice in this sea. At that time I mean it was the 70s, at that time there were no women truck drivers, so I had this picture of myself being sort of out on the road as this lone ranger and I spent a lot of my time in Northern California until I got my first I'm going to call it a gig, because that's really what it was and I got to travel the world teaching communication skills for technology companies, packaged foods and beyond. But it still had that. It was a recognizable feeling of like getting in an airplane and flying halfway across the world had that same quality that I was looking for when I was so young, of like getting in an 18 wheeler and heading to Wichita, you know.
Speaker 1:And what would you say was, from all that traveling, what would you say was the biggest lesson that you learned, becoming kind of a nomad or, you know, a traveler, especially if you're going to different cultures, different environments? What would you say? It would be.
Speaker 3:You know it's funny, I don't. That seems like such an obvious question and I don't get it very often. So you know the nature of the work that I was doing and still do today, but those are sort of early days in my career really required. You know, I was cross-cultural but I was working mostly with American companies that had offices abroad. So they were, you know the talent there was local talent but was crashing into the culture of the American companies that they were working with. So I was at this interesting spot where people in the rooms were even talking about how they are more compelling as a, with their voice in a way, in a very multicultural environment.
Speaker 3:And I'm not, you know, I'm not super versed on. You know, I'm not like a Hofstede, you know, a disciple or anything. So I don't, I'm not super versed in cross-cultural communication, although I had to learn. And so the thing that I, the thing that was always most obvious to me, was that I had to intentionally stay extremely open to how people might impact me in any moment, so that I could draw on the wisdom of the room and not just trust my like what my experience was, because I came from only one perspective.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:So the big lesson was about like sort of trusting trusting the room, not just trusting myself when I was working with clients to go like what makes what about the way you tell a story is so compelling? What do we want more from you? Not just what I want more from you, what do we?
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, that's fascinating, especially if you have that early in your career. It's such a great foundation for then springboarding your leadership and overall contribution that you're making, especially in the type of work you're doing.
Speaker 3:Totally and it also really forced me to be extremely like contribution that you're making, especially in the type of work you're doing Totally. And it also really forced me to be extremely like open but also like agile. You know, because now I always say with clients that I'm not. You know, I've been a leadership communications coach now for over 20 years but I'm not industry specific. I'm very industry agnostic, but I'm not industry specific. I'm very industry agnostic. So if I'm doing work in CPG or blockchain or SAS or education or you know, like across the board in that way it's also like traveling I have to be willing to not know and not have that knock or shake my confidence very much, because I could lean back on again to like openness and the knowledge of the wisdom, of that's in the room.
Speaker 1:Right, there's nothing better than being curious and always, always, always learning. And yet I can imagine you know to kind of segue into our conversation today. I could imagine that a lot of the leaders that you work with, they get a little bit, I would say, insecure about having to swallow their pride and acknowledge that they don't know something. Is that a fair assessment of them?
Speaker 3:So I work with in my communications work. I work specifically with two populations. I work specifically with two populations senior leaders and organizations that are usually VP level and above, and not the kind of VP level and above that you find in like finance, where, like you, could be two years out of college, have no direct reports and be called a VP. I know so whenever I hear VP I'm like yes, but help, like build the world for me.
Speaker 3:So I understand what you mean by VP. Yeah, no, no, you know, not knocking on folks in finance, but it's not always the same. And then VC backed founders who are usually Series B and beyond and in the founder world. You know, while a lot of the founders I work with are very confident people, they have a, they have a strong vision, they're very, they're well, very well versed in building products there, but they're growing into their leadership and operator voice and you know there's a lot of stuff they're really happy to say I don't know about. You know, in both a way that allows them to maintain curiosity, but in some ways it has them hand over their power.
Speaker 1:That is pleasantly surprising to me, you know, only because those that don't work on the VC world, you know, would probably look at certain individuals as, oh, that's a very, you know kind of intense and you know very prideful ego-driven of industry.
Speaker 3:So it's nice to hear I mean, it is intense, that is true. And there is, you know, this interesting dance of like a required stubbornness around the vision that you have for what you're building, because everybody's going to tell you why it doesn't work and why you should be doing it differently. So there's this and then there's this interesting dichotomy at the same time, they have to maintain a strong openness to pivot and follow the market and, you know, build today, what an expression of the product or the service they're trying to provide in a way that is surprising to them, they didn't think they would do. And then the third component is like managing this, like what do I have conviction about and where do I too easily give over my power? Because I'm new, I'm a first time founder or I haven't done this before. You know a lot of you know we were talking about.
Speaker 3:You know this show is titled Ask a Bigger, lead Louder and Win More. The lead louder part, when I think about helping founders and leaders speak powerfully at really critical moments, means actually recognizing your point of view, and that doesn't mean you're not open to seeing other points of view. But you need to know what you're after, what you're about, what your core principles are what you want and have clarity and commitment to that. Otherwise, it's too easy to come at everything in a way that nobody knows where you stand on anything, right?
Speaker 1:right. So they're just, like you know, kind of grabbing at everything and everything and trying to please everybody. Well, correct, would you say that that is one of the things that, even outside the VC world, hold back a lot of leaders. What do you find to be the biggest challenges holding leaders back by really having a powerful voice?
Speaker 3:with have no problem speaking up. That's not the issue. You know, when I say, when clients work with me, they'll say like oh my God, I found my voice and it's not like I used to not be able to speak up and now I can speak up. I mean, these people are senior folks. That's not the thing. What the thing is is that they haven't taken the time or realized that it would be useful for them to stop for a minute and and spend some time articulating and developing their unique take in the world that then they can take with them anywhere they go. So it's like they've got short-term reactions and takes and opinions about, maybe an initiative they're working on, a strategy that they're developing, like what's right in front of them. But I don't want to say that it holds them back because it's not a restraining thing. It's like they miss the opportunity to accelerate because they don't think about the. They don't think about their greater voice in their domain.
Speaker 3:What is it that they really want to be known for? What is their core leadership philosophy that they're bringing everywhere they go, no matter their job or role or company that they're in? What? How do they articulate and understand the purpose of their, their purpose in the room, and I'm not talking about, like life purpose. I'm talking about, like, the role you play regardless of your job. Are you a peacemaker? Are you like and really naming it and claiming it? You know, naming and claiming it, that's a big piece, a lot of this stuff. You know they kind of.
Speaker 3:I was thinking about a specific VP I worked with in product last year for a large SaaS company and he, you know it took me a good 20 minutes into our first call for me to even understand what his bigger take was on how you develop and deploy products using AI. And I'm like, why isn't this take something that I can get from you sooner? And he was kind of keeping it a secret. We're keeping his job function being the main narrative of his leadership. And I'm like no, at your level, you've got to bring that bigger take on how we build and deploy products in the world using AI.
Speaker 3:So it's just very because the downside is, because the downside is your, your. This is going to sound funny, but it's like the downside is you become anonymous, Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, dig into that a little bit more.
Speaker 3:Well, I know that's sort of an extreme way to say it, but it's the difference, I think, between very tactical, in how we communicate in our careers and how we use our voices to carve a path for the future. Here's an example I have a founder I was working with this last year who went into a really to try to anonymize some of these conversations, some of these examples, just, yeah, to be discreet. Going into a really critical I'm going to call it a partnership conversation, going into a really critical, I'm going to call it a partnership conversation. And you know this founder had been so mired in the tactics of what they were building. You know that they lived and breathed their pitch deck. What am I building? Who is it for? How big is the problem? What are we disrupting? You know how do we address it? What does the product look like? What is the team? Right, and this is very tactical, that's fine, but we can hear those stories everywhere.
Speaker 3:What we did was work to go like yes, but what is the what is it that? You see, that is the future of this domain, this particular industry, and he was able to articulate, after working together, we were able to articulate something that felt highly differentiated and a much more powerful. Not so like. I'm a, I'm an executive of a, of a potential partner for you. You're a founder, coming in with your pitch deck yet again and are going to pitch me with the same sort of type of a story rhythm that I always hear. We were able to elevate it in a way that helped him articulate in the world what he really where he sees the direction of the business, not his business, the business, the domain, the industry and that made him less of like a founder who's yapping you know, a founder who's yapping and shopping his wares to having a meaningful, elevated conversation about the future of their shared domain, such that they could see where their visions overlapped and carved a path for both of them. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and he's, and he's. He or she is positioning themselves as a visionary as far as a driver toward where they want the industry to go. And that's actually that separates them from anybody else. That's just simply kind of like you said pitching- yes, and you know so selfishly they want.
Speaker 3:we want this for founders and executives because when they do this, they have a much more robust voice that they can bet on, that they can trust and rely on and that they can use to help the world understand why them A more significant voice that they can then lend to the business that they're building, the initiative that they're running, the leadership that they're asked to engage in wherever they are. You know, sometimes we sort of conflate the job that we have with the stories that we're telling. But I really love helping founders and the job that we have with the stories that we're telling. But I really love helping founders and executives see that they have a distinct voice in the market that they then lend to their ventures.
Speaker 1:Love that Now you speak about the origin story. I do, and so help us understand how, especially in a world obsessed with results, you know. So it is about the numbers and, almost like the tactical that you mentioned, how can they really lean in on an origin story? What is it for those listening that may not understand it? And then you know how can one leverage their origin story. Sure.
Speaker 3:So an origin story can sound like your resume what got you here, what did you do that got you here? And when I think about an executive or a founder or leader's origin story, I want to shift it from what have you done to who are you. That builds the context for why you're here and builds context for the relevant accomplishments that you've had. That lets you tell an origin story in a way that sounds a lot more about here's who I am. I mean, you started that in our conversation today, like tell me about you, not tell me what you've done right.
Speaker 3:And we want to hear about. We want to hear your origin story. We want to hear where did you come from? Where were you before? Why are you here? Why you? But what too often is what we do is we go back and we march. We take a march through time. I graduated data science from MIT and then I worked at McKinsey for three years and then I launched three products generating a hundred million in ARR. And now I'm here running this initiative. That's fine in an ARR. And now I'm here running this initiative. That's fine.
Speaker 3:And I know that there's a major for folks listening. There's a major craving to go like yeah, but I have to build credibility, right, but there is a point in our careers this is not true for everyone, but there's a point in our careers where the fact that you're even on that stage, in that room or in that conversation, tells me you're already credible. It's right, like you're here for a frigging reason, yeah, so now we got to get to like what is it about you that helps us understand who you are and your sort of, what your core drivers are, and then you can point to select accomplishments how much ARR you generated or what products you launched, or you know what research you've done as evidence of that drive. Okay, so that has a little different framework and it doesn't start from the beginning. Okay, I know, today I shared, like when I was a kid, I wanted to be a truck driver because I wanted, you know, I wanted adventure. Right, I'm sharing with you a little tiny snippet of who I am and then I can point to other things that I've done as evidence that are more related to, maybe, the conversation we're having. Yeah, if you're in a sales conversation or you're, you know, launching a product, I know I say that a lot. Okay, so, how an origin story? What I call? I call that as provenance. Your provenance, the origin of the core driver, is the birth place of who you are today, right Of your ideas and your leadership. So that is, think of your origin story as sort of two beats.
Speaker 3:I am, or always have been, driven by, fill in the blank. Yeah, I have always been somebody who loves adventure and deeply connected experiences. Those have been important and resonant for me my entire life. I can't get away from it. Now.
Speaker 3:The second half is, and that is why, and that is where you can add your braggables, those things that drove you to doing these amazing accomplishments. That is why those two characteristics, the things that matter to me adventure and deeply connected experiences, I'm sure are the core reasons why I was invited to help Rio de Janeiro win the right to host the 2016 Olympics the opportunity to work across the Olympic movement with amazing leaders in that space to help change culture in the countries that host. That is why I've helped a hundred founders that I've worked with develop pitches and secured hundreds of millions of resources, because it's the deeply connected experiences that lets me get to truly who they are, which is the fuel for a more powerful story. So I have always been, or I am, and that is why, versus well, it all started when I graduated, you know, 15 years ago, from college and did a science.
Speaker 3:Yes, this is a very useful for folks who are listening, who maybe this year is going to be the year where you're in front of critical audiences doing either founder-led sales or executive-led sales, even if you're not the sales leader in your team.
Speaker 3:You're executive, but you need to be there to help set your team up really well, you know. I'm just going to invite you to find one or two core stories that give us a little glimpse into who you are. That sets up then your braggables and your resume in a more meaningful way. I've done this with a lot of executives when they have to give even keynotes at large product launches. Well, we're not starting with that resume. We're starting with when I was seven. I remember one client. She said this all started for me when my dad gave me a book about Moore's law when I was seven years old. And I'm like lady, you're like a 42 year old woman, like running this enormous organization all driven by technology, and not expect that you need to have it when you've already reached, like she said, where you want to go.
Speaker 1:And you know you've already established your credibility. But I love the fact that you said, dia, that if you're at the table, if you're in the room, if you're on the stage, you already have credibility. So that's going to take me back to what is holding a lot of leaders back when it comes to them owning their voice, powerfully using their voice. Does a posture syndrome, insecurity, come into play as they are trying to establish their providence, their origin story? Is there a belief or lack thereof at the same time that they're dealing with? I don't.
Speaker 3:I mean sometimes. So I have a four-part framework I use to help founders and executives develop a more knowable voice for themselves, one that they can point to and go. Yeah, that's totally me. Why didn't I ever think of talking about that? You know, yes, that says so much about who I am. Yes, that's actually what you know, one of my core beliefs I should be sharing more often.
Speaker 3:And the, the insecurity, is not something I come across very much sometimes and it sounds maybe kind of surprising, but it's not. I wouldn't characterize it as insecurity. I'd characterize it sometimes as doubt as to its relevance. Like you know, it's more like well, is it relevant that I tell the story about Moore's law when I like do people really want to hear that? Because so many folks I work with are such strong drivers? They are as you start, as you said earlier, they're like results, results, results. But the results are like that's table stakes at this point. Of course you're providing results. Of course you're. You know you're moving the ball down the field, but you can bring your audiences closer to you when you have the courage to tell some of these more essential stories. And so that it's more like shows up, more like doubt as to its relevance and once they see two things. One is that how, from a storytelling perspective, it's very relevant to this particular moment to set up why they made a particular choice to go one direction or another with a product or an initiative or a campaign. Like we can make actual logical connections. But then secondly, okay, here we go. We're going to go sideways for a second.
Speaker 3:When folks talk to me or come to me to work with me, they often think what they're looking for are communication skills. Skills are like where do I put my hands? How do I? You know, how do I, how do I get better at punchlines in my stories? How do I be more brief? How do I? Like it's more of the how-tos and less of the who am I and what's my unique voice. So when we can get clear on things like your core stories for your provenance and others, what you end up doing is solving a lot of the skills stuff that people come to me for. I want, you know, I want to. I want to be able to be funny on stage or I want to tell a better story when we're speaking about something that is very resonant and true for us. A lot of that stuff takes care of itself, right.
Speaker 1:Right and I would say the confidence takes care of itself A hundred percent. You know, when they are telling a story that they resonate with and that is kind of ingrained in them and part of them it's confidence and it's positivity and it's Even if that confidence and conviction comes through with quiet, intensity or with slowness, and a concentrated, thoughtful way of telling a particular story.
Speaker 3:Confidence doesn't always mean you're overly demonstrative. It just means that there's an alignment, quality to how you're talking to the world and how we're receiving you. That is undeniable, and so in that I would say what folks? If you're wondering, like, do I need to be a better communicator, I'm going to invite you to think about. Like what do you mean by better? Do you mean skillful, or do you mean having a more robust leadership voice? And then, where do those two things come together? I want to share, though, that I do have Bernadette like a mastery model I think of. That'll give people a way to think about when I'm being compelling, when I'm masterful, like what am I doing? Am I just really knowing where to put my hands and how to use the stage? No, because you can actually be technically very good at delivery and not say anything that anybody cares about at all yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1:So did you want to talk about that model?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I just want to share with folks that, like when I know you are being so masterful and compelling in front of the room, whether you're across a conference table or in front of an industry stage or on an industry stage is it when you're one making courageous choices and speaking from the heart, like we can tell, when you're finding the courage to have everyone expect you to tell your origin story from the perspective of your resume and instead you start by saying when I was seven, my dad had handed me a book about Moore's law. Like that's a courageous choice that is aligned to who she actually is as an executive. So when you're making courageous choices and speaking from the heart.
Speaker 3:One Second one is do you have a sense that you're in control in the moment, that you feel so on solid ground about your perspective, about who you are, about why you're in the room, about that you could kind of handle what gets thrown at you, you know that's. Two Do you have control in the moment? And three is do you know you're set up to have an actual impact on us, not just to transfer information? Nice, so for those really critical communications moments, whether you're an executive going to ask for headcount or budget or approval for some harebrained idea that you really want to do, or you're a founder out raising funds, or you're an early career professional looking to put together some core stories for the set of interviews you might have in front of you.
Speaker 3:Look for those three things. Do I feel like I'm speaking from the heart in a way that it feels courageous and aligned to who I am? Do I feel like I could kind of handle whatever comes at me and am I actually having an impact on others? Do I think I might. That's a good way to know that you have a more robust voice, that then you can acquire skills to help bring that to life. Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1:I love that. I have to admit, I had an experience myself where I was in the front of a room and it happened to be, you know, I was up against a wall and I'm telling my story, what I'll call my origin story the wall. And I'm telling my story, what I'll call my origin story, and I had said it so many times before. But it just like you said, it was at that time. It wasn't. I just didn't own it and I didn't feel it. And then, all of a sudden, this particular engagement I did to the point where I kind of just like, sank into the wall and got very comfortable and just kind of I just thought I could still feel it to this day how, like, all of a sudden and again it wasn't outward, it wasn't dramatic, it was just this level of confidence that that was me, that was who I was.
Speaker 1:That story was, you know what was happening that made that different for you, I think I had recounted some parts of the story and was sharing parts of the story that I had not shared before because they were hard and they were scary for me in the past. And here I just found that I had reached a point in you know, in my transformation to where I just felt okay with acknowledging my weaknesses and whatnot. Yeah, and it made that story so much more profound and I just I, it was just transcending.
Speaker 3:So here's a question Did you know why you made that choice?
Speaker 1:Yes, I think the room was just so welcoming, like it was just the interaction I had had with the room for the last couple of hours, and I just thought, okay, this is going to be important for me to help them and, you know, like you said, have the impact for them, not just me spewing. But in order for me to do that, have the impact I want from them, I need to go a little deeper.
Speaker 3:Beautiful. So what you're pointing to as a concept I lean on a lot, which is that purpose drives courage. If you know why you're doing it, it's easier to do it, and you did. And so the framework that I will share with clients a lot and is what impact are you trying to have and what outcome are you trying to create? They're not the same. What impact am I trying to have? What outcome am I trying to create? And then to ask ourselves okay, well, if I'm going to try to have that kind of impact, how might I tell this story in a way that ups the chances of it actually having that kind of impact? And in this case, for you, it sounds like it wasn't the way that I usually do it, right. Right, it was sharing, being more transparent about an angle of it, or you were making sort of what was? It sounds to me like a courageous choice, even though it felt very I don't want to say easy for you, but there was like there was like an ability for you to say yes to it, right.
Speaker 1:That's exactly what how it felt. Now I do need to. I do need to ask you about how you trained to be an auctioneer. Oh well, and it's so. When I, when I came across you know your profile and the work that you do I was very intrigued by this and plus, I would think there's a lot of skill there that also lends itself to the work that you do, and so can you help us understand. You know, not necessarily the whole journey of you becoming an auctioneer, but what you took away from it. That lends itself beautifully to people asking bigger, leading louder and winning.
Speaker 3:So I won't give you the whole play by play, but if people are like listening and going, wait, what auctioneer. I thought she was a communications coach. So yes, I've been a communications coach for two decades but during a sabbatical I made good on like a bucket list threat. I had made it a dinner table years before and I learned to be an auctioneer like literally just for fun. And when I got back to the Bay Area I started doing fundraising auctioneering for women-led nonprofits and nonprofits benefiting women and girls, raising money for nonprofits here in the Bay Area. It was just a fun, weird again adventure, right Adventure. And, by the way, also deeply connected experience because I had to be very connected to the people that are in the room to help draw them toward their giving selves. You know, putting together stories to secure resources. That answered the question what am I asking for? And with an answer that was well, whatever, I think that I can get Meaning. My clients were saying like well, I need to build a team for with 12 heads and I'm only going to ask for six, then I'm going to piece some 50% time from from the engineering team and I'm going to use some discretionary like I'm going to hobble through with fewer because they'll never go for 12. Or you know, I'm looking for $100 million but they'll never do that. I'm going to ask for a 50. Or I'm going to ask for a 20% raise, but they'll never go for that. So I'm going to ask for 10. And for years I was like great idea, whatever you think you can get.
Speaker 3:I realized like that's not at all what we do as auctioneers. We actually ask in order to get a no. I'll open a bid at $1,000. Somebody puts their paddle in the air. I'll ask for $1,500. Somebody puts a paddle in the air. I'll ask for $2,000. Somebody says nobody in the room says yes to that. The person that gave me the first bid will shake their head no, and I know that I can sell it for $1,500 because nobody in the room is going to say I've hit no, I've effectively touched the word no and that signals to me that I've maximized the potential of the ask and then I sell it for a click beneath that. But that's not what we do in the real world. We usually only ask for what is pretty guaranteed, because if we ask for something bigger and we have no idea what kind of response we'll get. That puts us in something I like to call the zone of freaking out, which is the opposite of the comfort zone.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is, yes, it is.
Speaker 3:So I learned this idea that, like, okay, what if we actually challenge our assumptions about what? Yes, it is. Like you know, if I think I could get a 10% raise, what do I think would get a? No, there's no way, they'll go for 20, but I'm going to ask for 20 to test that theory. Sure Doesn't mean you're not open to having a conversation for every increment between 20 and 10, but like, do you hear what I'm doing? We're just challenging our own assumptions.
Speaker 3:Yes so that was the first thing I learned. And then I also learned another big one is that price is such a measure of value, not worth. I'm selling pieces of art, vacations you know Draymond Green signature. You know signed jersey nonprofit. I'm working with the executive director, whoever is like. They have a very wildly different idea about what somebody will pay for that than somebody who pays for it. I sold a one-night camping trip for $55,000 once and I sold a piece of art that was supposed to be quote unquote worth 10 grand for 4,500. So the thing I learned was that price is more of a measure of what somebody values it's a way for us to see what somebody values and how they value it and less a way for us to define our own worth or worthiness. So we really want to uncouple those two things.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and that's been very helpful.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's been very helpful in my practice, my clients and very helpful for me and my life and world too.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's fascinating, fabulous at the same time. So if, based on what we've talked about, when it comes to asking bigger, leading louder so that you can win, regardless of what the ask is, what would the number one tip be that you would give our listeners and viewers that they can go out and start working on right now, other than visiting your website at DMRcom?
Speaker 3:I mean that depends on who you're talking about. I would say for executives and founders who are really needing to build something big, slow down and let yourself spend some time really developing your voice, like the content of it, understand and be able to articulate the world that you see you want to build and your role in it. And cuffs off man cuffs off. So that's one For folks, maybe earlier in their career to ask for what you think will get you a rejection and just see what happens. Ask for what you think will get you a rejection and just see what happens.
Speaker 1:I love that. I absolutely love it. No is only a two-letter word, you know, so why not push the envelope?
Speaker 3:Exactly, and it is true that you might get rejections. You don't like, you can't resuscitate, you might kill deals. It's true. And so I like to think of like you're not, you're going to ask, you're going to, you won't ask for more and get it every single time. If you make a practice of it, you're going to ask for more and get it over time. Yes, Agreed.
Speaker 1:Love it, love it, love it. Dia, thank you so much. This has been an absolutely fascinating conversation and I appreciate you sharing with all of our listeners and viewers so much fun. Thanks, wow, what a powerhouse conversation with Dia Bondi.
Speaker 1:If you're walking away with one thing from this conversation, it's that your voice is your power, whether you're a founder, executive or rising leader. It's not just about speaking up. It's about knowing what you stand for for, articulating your unique value proposition and not being afraid to make bold asks that push the boundaries of what's possible. We talked about the difference between credibility and presence and how owning your origin story, not your resume, can be the game changer in how you're seen and heard. Dia reminded us that the room you're in already confirms your worth. Now it's time to show up, speak up and lead louder, and my favorite personal takeaway was don't be afraid to ask for what it is that might get you a no. That's how we test our limits and expand what we're really capable of receiving.
Speaker 1:If this episode resonated with you, be sure to like, subscribe and follow the show at balloffirecoachingcom forward slash podcast and even share the episode with those around you, those on your team, and if you're ready to elevate your voice, leadership or your career? Then book a free discovery call with me at coachmeberndettecom. Forward slash discovery call and let me give you some tips and advice and a plan for how you can move forward and become that powerhouse leader that you want to be. Until next time, own your voice and lead with bold confidence. Talk to you soon.
Speaker 2:Thank you for tuning into today's episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Every journey taken together is another step towards unleashing the powerhouse leader within you. Don't miss any of our weekly episodes. Subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, spotify or wherever you love to listen. And, for those who thrive on visual content, catch us on our Shedding the Bitch YouTube channel. Want to dive deeper with Bernadette on becoming a powerhouse leader? Visit balloffirecoachingcom to learn more about how she helps professionals, hr executives and team leaders elevate overall team performance. You've been listening to Shedding the Corporate Bitch with Bernadette Boas. Until next time, keep shedding, keep growing and keep leading.
