How Parents And Athletes Decide It’s Time To Quit

We wrestle with the hardest call in youth sports: knowing when to quit the pro chase without losing love for the game. Real stories from climbing and tennis reveal the pull of sunk costs, identity, and hope.

• defining a fair line between grit and stop
• what close calls actually signal in results
• survivorship bias in elite sports stories
• the cost of parent identity tied to sport
• benchmarks to guide a pivot or exit
• options beyond competing that honor the work

Please let me know what you think

About This Podcast

It takes a village to raise a pro athlete.

For the first time ever this channel takes you behind the athlete’s ‘unspoken’ road what it really takes to raise athletes.

What to expect when you listen:

Real, Raw Truth

Laughter

The Struggles & Successes

ABOUT YOUR HOST:

Marina Kuperman Villatoro, a mama who is on a mission to help her sons reach their athletic (rock climbing) goals and dreams.

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Transcript

The Tough Question: When To Quit

SPEAKER_00 0:00

How do you know it's time to quit? This is a question that probably all of us ask at one point or another, right? There's a saying that we're only two millimeters or one little move away from achieving what you're achieving. But the reality is, how do we know, especially for your child, that it's never gonna happen? Right? How do we know that it's time to quit and be okay with that? I'm Marina, your host, mother of two aspiring rock climbers, and wife to an extreme athlete. And this is a question that I see myself asking, and I hear other parents asking quite a lot. Okay, so here's a little backstory. There is this sister, these two sisters that have been climbing for years. We're talking 10 years. I have met her the parents. I know the commitment that goes behind these two girls, right? They are rock climbers. One of them even made it to the junior Olympics, the other one literally was like the second place to be qualified into the actual Olympics. I mean, really close. And I know that the parents have completely submerged themselves in the world of climbing. They become judges, anything to help with the costs because they need to go to all these different competitions. I mean, all this work that goes behind these girls becoming pro climbers and all this money, right? Like the bank of mama and papa, let's just say in this particular case, has gone bankrupt, okay, on many occasions. Yet they are still going for it. They're still hiring teams, like there's all this. I mean, teams of coaches and nutritionists and physiotherapists and all of that. Like they're still putting in that money, that time. And this is a constant conversation in our house because we have met the parents, we know the coaches of these girls. And we also know that the girls have completely been homeschooled, they train all the time, like, but but you look at them and it's just never gonna happen, right? You just see it, it's never gonna happen. There's it's just not gonna happen, and yet when can you decide that it's okay? When can your child come to you and be like, you know what? I'm done with the sport and going in the direction of wanting to be a pro athlete. Definitely, hey, maybe I want to train others, maybe I want to coach, maybe whatever. I'm talking about the actual direction of continuingly to compete continually, to fight for, you know, those sponsorships, to do all that, yet still never be there, right? We're not talking like you know, the gold, uh the silver or the bronze medalist. We're talking to not even making it to the Olympics in that category, or even like every World Cup, every world champion, not even coming into the finals, right? Maybe hitting the finals once or twice, but we're talking years, so really when? And this isn't something that I want to actually talk to teach you today about and tell you this is when. This is more of an open conversation because when do you know that it's not gonna happen? Because let's face it, we always have our mama and papa goggles on, right? We have these, you know, these glorified visions of our children, and rightfully so, we should, but we need to also stand back and objectively understand when is it time to say this is not gonna happen, right? So this is a very interesting question because I've so the other thing that I'm oh, okay, here's another really good example of this conversation. We have all we all know Venus and Serena Williams, especially with the movie Richard Williams, uh Richard Williams movie that came out, you know, King Richard, and obviously, like all that these girls have put in and the stars that they have become, all the support, I mean, all that went behind who they've become, right? However, interestingly enough, recently I met a family who have been as devoted as King Richard to Serena and Venus's career and their mother and their training and all of that. So I was talking to them, and they their kids have literally been on the court since two years old, their entire lives, their entire lives surround about going to all these competitions. They have traveled the world finding the right coaches, finding the right their their their um sport is tennis, finding the right tennis clubs, finding the right everything for them. I mean, their homeschools, their their entire worlds revolve around their kids training and practicing and competing. And at this point, the oldest is 18 years old, and he's not even making it to some of these, like he is not the correct material. And sitting on the outside of their world, and you could see how committed they are, and they're not stopping. The parents, almost all of their money goes to their children's whole tennis world. So I notice a couple of really interesting things. First of all, they don't look like they're slowing down or even considering quitting, right? Or even the notion that their kids could never make it in tennis, which by the way, it certainly sounds like it. If you're not going to certain levels at that age, you got to question what's going on. But I also spotted something really interesting, and that is the identity of the parent as the sport parent, as the mom of tennis players, as the mom of whatever you fill in the blank sport. And I have an entire podcast talking about that because this was something that really kind of sparked in me like that is a scary place to be. So go make sure you go and listen to that whole thing because that could definitely be a component of understanding when is it time to quit? Okay, so that's just something that I noticed, right? Like the commitment behind these two kids that this mother that I met is definitely the same type of commitment that King Richard had, that excuse me, that Serena and um Venus had as far as coaching and everything, competitions. Yet, why is it that there they made it? Yet, others, and there's millions of others that don't even come close. And when is it time to quit? I would love to hear your ideas. Like this is like I said, it is an open conversation. So please let me know what you think. Like this conversation needs to be held because a lot of times we don't know when it's time to let go, when for the child to be able to walk away, and for us to be okay with it.