S1 EP25 : CHRISTOPHER GOFF

Let's talk all things CONSCIOUSNESS and how it applies to Nicoa's former colleague and friend CHRISTOPHER GOFF's Life By Design. Chris is the founder of SalesCompGuy.com. He is an amazing example of truly, intentionally aligning his actions with his true desires. He shares his health and wellbeing evolution, or GROWTH THROUGH WEIGHT LOSS , AND EMOTIONAL LOSS STORY going from 400+ pounds to a healthier version of himself physically and emotionally! PLUS his intentional life and career alignment story all driven by his ability to OBSERVE HIMSELF without JUDGEMENT. Pay close attention to his NETWORKING strategy, or I would call it a CONNECTION strategy! You'll want to apply it in YOUR Life By Design!        Chris's life as a SPEAKER, AUTHOR and SALES COMP EXPERT is all about BEING! Motivated in self development, education and SAYING A LOT OF YES'S you'll learn a lot by listening to this episode AND  checking out his links and books below. (OH and listen to the bitter end!! Chris's coffee reference here)

CHRIS'S WEBSITE: www.salescompguy.com
SIGN UP FOR HIS NEWSLETTER: https://www.salescompguy.com/impressum

CONTACT CHRIS DIRECTLY HERE:  Christopher@salescompguy.com
He can also be found most of the time on LinkedIn: https:/

Buy your copy of YOUR LIFE BY DESIGN: A Coffee With Nicoa Self-Care Coaching Journal
on Amazon today! 

Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:02

Welcome, everybody, in today's Coffee with Nicoa, I am so excited to introduce you to Christopher golf, Chris and I go back, I don't know, 15 years, I guess, because we met back at my son's health care that we came to remember, while we were talking today, and he is an amazing sales ops and compensation expert, he actually not only continues to work in that field, but he started a really cool site called sales comp guy.com. And we're not going to really talk about sales comp today. But he does have everything it takes to create the expertise and resource for you and your organization, if you're looking for any support around your sales, compensation planning. So please make note for those of you who have sales teams, but what we're going to talk about today is his massive self transformation and his own intentional and conscious, we probably say that word conscious a million times. So we could play a little game today, every time you hear the word conscious, I want you to drink a sip of your coffee, you will totally be jacked up by the end of this conversation. Because it's all about conscious awareness. And he and I touch base every once in a while. And we always go down these beautiful rabbit holes about self awareness. And at the end of the day, I think and so does, Chris, that that is how you create a truly satisfying and fulfilling life by design. Please take a listen to his transformational stories. And let me know what you think. Grab your coffee and join me Nicoa For a caffeinated conversation about life. I'll be talking to people who have chosen to walk their own paths and just like me, are creating a life by design. I hope it will give you the inspiration you need to do exactly the same. Yes, so your background in history is quite unique and a lot of self reflection, a lot of self work that got you to this new way of being today. Chris, remind me, how do we know each other? When did we first meet?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 2:19

So we go back to my sis to

Nicoa Coach: 2:22

my self care? Yes, you

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 2:24

were you were head of HR back back then. And and I think we only had limited interaction but but you were a person that put off a energy way back when where I knew that was a person, I wanted to pay attention to the person that I wanted to make sure that I kept up with in some capacity. That's that's that's where it started? Well,

Nicoa Coach: 2:47

you did. That is where it started. And in my reflection, what I like about you, and you're you're not the only one out there that does this, but that it's only a small population in my network over the past, you know, 30 years of working is you are the kind of person that you reached out. You got on my calendar, and you say, Hey, can I have like 20 minutes? Can I just say hey, and I, I tend to say yes. Now 50 People don't call me next week. But I do tend to say yes. And you and I have had a really interesting set of dialogues. So why don't we go way back? What would you say? You know, my son's health care, gosh, back in the day that we were striving? Right? What was it? I know, I was trying to strive I was trying to be you know, at the epitome of my career as I thought it at the time, I'd finally made it to that top role with Ford responsibility and making more money than I ever thought I could make. But I wasn't that happy. I wasn't having that much fun. I was good at it. I love my job, but I wasn't having that much fun. What was it like to be you back then.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 3:58

So a lot of it was was learning the professional route. So my cycle of time back then was I had only been in work mode a couple years and and so I started off with the state of North Carolina moved over to my sis learned really how to work and what that what that meant. And so there was a lot in those early years of aspiration and drive and motivation and movement. Right and in the getting to a certain phase and and it's funny because I was just talking about this yesterday with somebody about like, it was a particular season in my life and and I know that I was very, very focused on certain goals. And I'm putting a lot of my attention and energy in the work box in those in those early years. And I think it was because I didn't know that there were other boxes

Nicoa Coach: 4:57

quite yet. You're right. I mean, it's like I really didn't realize that either, you know, the hole blinders. Why do you think you didn't know any other boxes? Were you always raised to believe this was the type of work you do? Was there some decision back when you were younger? That said, Oh, you have to do ABC to be successful?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 5:17

Well, I think there's, there's two parts. One, I think that I was, I was raised in like a direct sales family. So books and motivational tapes, and all that sort of stuff was all focused on thinking, right? So power, positive thinking, thinking grow rich. And even you know how to win friends and influence people, it was all very thinking based. And one of those one of those, one of those ways that it converted itself, or translated itself is it was in work. And it was really easy to gauge a kind of like from school, right, with grades to then like performance reviews and races and money, right? There, it was a very clear yardstick to be able to use. So I think I think that, that way of, there's a difficulty of measuring the quality of a relationship with another human being right to say, yes, that was time well spent, where it can reap the rewards associated with that time. And looking back, I know, also, a fair amount of that was a summary of my perfectionism. That kicked kicked in, like I need to use my time in a way that is the most effective well, how I categorize that was how I measured the outcomes. Well, so many of the other intangibles, make it very difficult to kind of hold you back from recognizing that time simply being spent on leisure, or family or relationships to themselves, right. Not expecting anything in return, is a very challenging thing for those folks that are the Higher Performers, right? Like, higher achievers, like, I gotta, I gotta run the race. I gotta get to the finish line. But how do you like, oh, but there's a lot of value in doing nothing on Saturday and spending couch time literally, like time on the couch, doing absolutely nothing. But I didn't come to value that until fairly recently in my life.

Nicoa Coach: 7:17

Yeah. So what was when I think back on that, I mean, I totally I hear you, man. I even have clients how they're like, Oh, my God, if I sit still, I feel like I'm lazy. Well, you know, back then, when you had learned all of this with what you're talking about, as these external rewards became our metric, right, became the way in which we thought we were enough and successful, and it's still so common. But you know, what was the cost of that to you back then? Did you know

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 7:50

what you know? I, it's interesting, because in that sort of conversation in this though, the seasons of life, I feel like I went through a cycle of I tend to almost think I'm gonna like the last years. There, there's a period of time where I got to, I think, what what were my goals in any probably, you know, you probably have this, I learned of the Go to the back of a notebook, write your goals for you what you want to accomplish that year, like the five year whatever, right? Like whatever it is that you might have picked up over time, I went back to an old notebook, and I was like, Okay, I accomplished those. It was, it was kind of like an additional thing, where I set an expectation, I accomplish them even unconsciously. And I just did nothing for a while, like, I know, I worked a lot, but I almost don't even remember big chunks of years, where I just worked a lot, but there was nothing else to it, nothing else going on no growth, no forward movement or anything like that. And, and I think I think that that is something where I'm just recognizing that that was part of something that I more consciously did, like, in a in the post COVID world, right over the last couple of years, where I've more intentionally manifested what it is that I desire for my life in a conscious way. So yeah, like it was like cruise control to entirely for a good chunk of, of that period.

Nicoa Coach: 9:22

Yeah, you know, cruise control is very common in our society, right. The masses are kind of, you know, just walking around doing their thing and, and it's not to judge anyone for their lack of intention. It's almost a judge, a capitalist society that is focused on more and more better, better thinking that says, you know, just follow these rules, and you'll be happy and buy more stuff. And if you if you keep, you know, more, more better, better, right. But when you were in that mode, did you see and was there like an aha moment that woke you up? Was it cool? Have it was it being out on, you know, outside of the office that I don't remember, when you made the jump out of the corporate world, I forget.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 11:12

Well, so technically, I'm still in the corporate world. I, I It's all good, I still do what I do on a daily basis, but I did make the jump to an organization that I that I really enjoy. And, and I, there is a point where I have made a conscious decision to leave what what became what my sis became later and then evolved in 20, yet many iterations later, right.

Nicoa Coach: 11:39

Right, a lot of learning, this is not to despair, or, you know, any way disparage the past because it was a growing, fast paced company that we all benefited from, for sure.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 11:51

And so in 2019, I left the company moved to another organization in a very conscious exercise. So, you know, I was with a company for 13 years. And so it felt like an appropriate time to diversify the portfolio of experiences as it were. And, and that significantly benefited me. But it was funny because it was December 2019. And we're the kind of know what happened after that, not very far after that. And that did sort of assist me of like, everything happened for a reason. And it and it had the opportunities, the seeds of opportunity that came from that. And, and during that sort of transitional cycle, because I changed lots of things, I was part of a leadership program, I was able to do a project, that project translated into me starting to work on my book, right, where I consciously documented the what I think about the topic that I've been doing for 15 years, right sales compensation. And, and at the same time, it also was a phase of, of me personally understanding that the, like my peak of, of weight loss and acknowledging that I needed to be able to do more. So, so many things kind of came to head, it was like, one, once one change occurred. It was an avalanche of other changes, that seemed to all be happening at the same time with I suspect, many years of buildup of that.

Nicoa Coach: 13:28

Well, when you You keep saying consciousness now and I know what that means. But for our listeners, what was that conscious, pivotal moment, was it, you were gaining weight and you felt uncomfortable, or you decided to make the life change in the leadership class is what really triggered you to think differently? And more intentionally? Yeah. What was that pivotal story?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 13:49

Yeah, and it's a great question, because I think that there's many different parts to that. There's no like, one moment, but I do, I think of a couple of things. One, it started in, I would say, end of 2018, where I, I wanted to make a more conscious effort of losing weight. And, and I use that consciousness. Again, there. But but it was a, it was an intentional decision. Right. And, and that started from someone recommending audible to me. And I've always been a personal development type of person, like all kinds of personal development stuff all the time. So lots of self helps, right. And in that I was able to listen more, and I plugged in the office change location, so have a longer commute and, and those things translated into a desire to do too little more Betterment I in my life in some capacity, and then that was, in this case translated into a lot of gym time. And, and the lesson learned from that was that the gym time itself, while successful, didn't fix the issues, right? That really are the real issues. And underlying that the challenge, and fast forward a little bit, had a had a health problem, and needed to go about the process of weight loss in a different way to kind of acknowledge that. And so I peaked in 2020 at 428.8 pounds. And that that was a recognition because I did I did spend time trying to document and so I focus a lot of my time and this is where I feel a considerable amount of success. Success comes in simple awareness. Right? The act of paying attention is what I turned on more deliberately. And in that I also tried to remove as much judgment as possible. So it's, it's it's awareness and allowance in my case, where just pay attention and allow whatever it is whatever choices that occur Are to exist. And in from there, I simply focused on paying attention to what I consume, and some sort of physical movement, but trying to not do the perfectionism thing like it did before. Because before the health issue, I was doing hours in the gym, and I will I lost, like more than 65 pounds. But then all of that came back when I literally could not, I couldn't do that in the gym. Right. And so it all all went out the window because of physical limitations. And I learned a lot about what really doesn't work with diets and what does work with diets, you know, personally, and in this whole process. So, so a lot of it stems from that from the physical part, but it also translated into other aspects of my life.

Nicoa Coach: 16:57

Well, it's interesting that I mean, what an extreme change to because I'm certainly not I happen to be able to see you right now having your coffee, and I don't see a 428 pound guy. So yeah, you have what this transformation is pretty profound. And you said a couple of things that, that I'm, I'm a big believer in, which is being the observer of self, right? I'm always putting my hand overhead that tipsy BFF up, there's my best friend watching me and helping me see myself. And she's like, Oh, what do you want to do today? What are you going to consciously choose to do today? And can you allow what is and then choose to enter into it? So when you said allowance, it's also the word acceptance, right? Here are the facts. Here I am here, I'm at 428 pounds. What do I want to do about that? Right? Is this serving me or not? Now? Did you have to dive deep into the subconscious? They're about, you know, what? Got you there those habits before? Were they? Were they driven by some sort of insecurity self worth? Or just was it a habit?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 18:04

Yeah, you know, it's, it's an interesting, interesting thing, because I think it's a combination of a couple of things. But I did have to go and really dig into some of the like, and I think a lot of people struggle with these sorts of components, or I ate too fast. So it didn't have the, I didn't have the capability for my body to actually translate the signals internally, right? Tell me you're satiated, you're not. So there's that there's also learning a little bit about how my body works. And in this case, the I'm, I need some sort of physical movement on a very regular basis. And it's as simple as walking. But that was something therapeutic that I needed for my for, like, I found that when I did it, I felt good. When I did not do it, I could see other things simply like, you know, sadness, or con internal conflict or strife pop up, right. And that's the part where I focused on introducing simple things, right? Because I knew I could do the simple things and execute on the simple things without little bit without that judgment as best as I could. But but related to food, it was also the tendency to finish and not waste food. So there is definitely there is definitely the clean your plate, right? So many of us grew up with, right? So the size of the plate and the what you put on your plate matter, especially, especially when I grew up with the face, right. And so there's that tendency to like, also get your money's worth part that goes along with that. It all comes. I mean, it all comes from this notion of scarcity. First off the notion scarcity exists, it doesn't. But we all have been told to believe that it does. So you need to take advantage of it. Well, what that means is I did a lot of food storage, long term food storage is what that translates into for me, it did not serve me well, right. Because the way I the way my body felt was not helping me right, feel good about that, or, you know, like loss of energy, in ability to feel comfortable in many in many frames. But there's a lot of I think other other things that have had turned into that. I think it was mostly cumulative, though, when I really think about it. I you know, I was Husky when I was a kid. And I think I adopted that persona and lived lives that way because I was sort of always big, right and and so I followed through on that.

Nicoa Coach: 20:52

It became part of your identity and therefore, why would you second guess how your body felt or this is who I am. This is who I am. And that's a big piece of it. You hit on some things. So you were eating too fast, I have a tendency to still do that. And not be very conscious and mindful of each bite. And maybe because I had two older brothers who are always trying to eat off my plate after they finished. Who knows? I mean, it could be that simple. I can remember my brothers be like, are you finished with those fries? I'm like, oh, no, no, no. And then I love your advice about simple movement and simplicity in taking. You know, it may be baby steps, literally, right? If you had to observe to say, oh, what does serve me? And what doesn't serve me? Do I feel good? Or do I feel bad? I think the only purpose in life is to feel good. Find ways to feel good. It doesn't mean feeling bad is wrong. That's just an experience. But what is the feeling bad telling you? Right? Is there a message there? Like Welcome

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 21:53

to agree with you over the last few years that I do believe our purpose of our existence is to enjoy the experience, it is not to suffer it is not to feel pain here. And, and I do think we've perhaps introduced some of these contrasting experiences. In order to value it in some time, the only reason we appreciate it that much more is because we had an experience that was lacking in it.

Nicoa Coach: 22:19

I think that's absolutely critical. What you just said polarity is key for us to identify what we want, and what feels good. And what we like, well, tell us about where you are now on the on the body image body love journey. And I don't even like saying weight loss. I like to say weight reduction, because the word loss implies I've lost something that I'm trying to find. And I don't want to find it again, if in fact, my body feels better at this reduced number, if you will. Tell us about where you are now.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 22:51

Yeah, I tend to use this like growth through through loss. sentiment, but there was also, I think this was something I was listening, I've just picked back up some Zig Ziglar the other day, because I was just like, I hadn't heard him in a decade. Right. And, and he he talked about his story of lose, lose. And back then it was like 37 pounds. So he went from like a little over 200 pounds to getting back to his weight and weight. And he talked about the the he lost the physical weight. But what was more important was the mind weight. Yeah, right. And it was like, okay, I can see, I can see that. That's, that is a big part of it. And what I feel like I only recently a lot was the emotional part here, because I do believe it's thoughts, as much as it is emotions that are necessary to get these things, you know, congruent in order for us to accomplish what we desire. Now specific to the weight process, I have diversified my yardstick a little bit of what it is that that means because I don't know, and when I didn't want to do is put its considerable amount of value on the scale. And so it mattered to to sort of shed those pounds and and at the moment I'm on my my transition towards the at least like next milestone, which is 200 pounds, right? That's where that's where I'm going to get. So when this airs, I'll be well on my path. But my biggest my biggest part was or my biggest sort of phase in this in this cycle was getting getting over that 130 pound sort of milestone have, I lost 133 pounds in one year. Right? That's that was the big that was like the big one. Now over the last few months, I've been focused on maintaining, and allowing, because again, this is the thing, this is the exercise, it's not all about the run, it's about being and that was one of the things that I needed to make sure that I didn't put all of my value of myself at a skinnier version of that as if it's that self love is somehow conditional. And so that's what I've tried to, funnily enough make it harder on myself in some capacity because I'm doing the hard work. So it's like the, the milestones, right are slowing as as in fact, they should, because I need them. I needed them to be points of experience that line up with the not being 100% of who I am, right? That's that's the part where I'm, I'm on the next phase of this progression. But it also be something that just happens to be part of what I expect to exist, right? Like, I will be that much more comfortable in my body. I will be I will look that much better in a suit. And all of those sorts of things when they're speaking that it'll be something more like, hell yeah, I look good, right. Like, that's the that's the version of that I just expect will happen. Rather than that being like front and center. This is what I have to show off to the world. And so I know that's part of I think the byproduct of that is I'm not cheap. I'm not. I'm not in that marathon. As much as I am, like, I guess a, a sauntering appreciating the journey, you know what I mean?

Nicoa Coach: 26:23

Yes. Well, you said it being, it's this way of being that you're, you're manifesting, right, versus striving towards the identity of the body separately, you're integrating your wholeness in the journey, in order to sustain it in the long term. Because I think that's a very critical observation that you're sharing. Because if we, if we're only focused on a piece, or a condition, right, then we're not doing it in a holistic way. And it's not sustainable.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 27:04

There. And there's a lot of fear, personally, I mean, it has me experiencing this, there's a lot of fear of the, what if I actually get everything that I want? What then, right, like, what does that actually mean? And what is it that I'm worth, if I'm just focused on this, and so I joined a group to help with that weight loss. And the value of that group was actually having weekly sessions that just talked about thoughts, emotions, feelings of the body, all that sort of good stuff, and that I highly recommend having a place where you can talk very much for some sort of level of vulnerability. And by the way, super difficult for me, because I'm open conversations about emotions was not a level of comfort. Um, it was definitely, it was definitely something that required effort to get to get to the point of, of that being something Oh, yeah, let's talk about, like, all of the stuff. And there's lots of stuff, right? Yeah, I never really, I never honestly never really did that. Until until probably 2020.

Nicoa Coach: 28:14

And how did you give yourself permission to be so vulnerable? I mean, that's scary. Was it in the group? Or did you Yeah, that so you saw other people who were vulnerable and you tested it out and it was safe, there

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 28:26

was there was like the tip toe, Like Put, put your toe in the water share a little bit. And then after you share a little bit, you get a little more comfortable sharing a little bit more. And you know, having a similar group of people over time, who you were you recognize they're in a similar journey is part of it. But I also started putting a lot more of the books that I think could go a lot deeper than most of your self help that are far more maybe categorically metaphysical, but they're far more of deep in terms of the mind the emotion or purpose, finding our place manifesting. manifesting your destiny. So I got started listen to some Wayne Dyer, and, and Esther and Abraham, and Jerry Hicks.

Nicoa Coach: 29:14

And you name it. Yeah. Well, I

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 29:17

did get that. CO creating. It's best mean spectacular. Yeah. When you recommended, right, it's

Nicoa Coach: 29:22

right here. Literally, it's literally right here. Yeah.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 29:26

But like this book, Manifest your Destiny? Oh, yes. One for me. That one was a real clear turning point. I mean, I jumped in, in the sort of weird middle, because it was like, I don't know, any of this stuff is just kind of weird. But after time, and it just sort of like it makes sense. Like, it totally makes sense. But it's, but it's an unconscious versus conscious part, right? It's the purposeful. It's like the purposeful, or intentional living versus the cruise control. And then you're like, Okay, I can go back and think of times, where I put a goal out, I thought about the goal, I thought about what I wanted to do, I expected it to happen, and it happened. And then you're like, Okay, I didn't learn anything from that at all, apparently. And then it just go on my way. And then occasionally, I'll be like, Okay, this is a thing I desire, I'm going to put an effort and I'm going to actually, I'm going to really think about I'm gonna emotionally aligned to it. And that happens. And then I didn't learn anything from that either. Right? And now I feel like I'm, I'm finally conscious of it. Right? Whereas I was entirely like, unconscious of like, I think like a shared right like, I grew up in a household where where there was the the motivational like the tapes and the books and all that sort of stuff, goal setting thinking about it, right, like all that sort of stuff. So the thinking side I was I think I understood the emotional side wasn't there at all like it. It wasn't a Oh, I get it now. i And that's a part I do get it now where you also need the emotional alignment and really feeling that you're worthy of something to happen in order for it to happen like It's law of attraction. It is yes, yes, I'm comfortable creating goals, I have desires not a problem I not a dream, my dream big, right. But what I didn't necessarily believe was that that should be mine, or that I'm, it's already there. It's, it's just waiting for me to catch up to it. Right? Like, that's, that's the thing where it's like, okay, that's more mind blown sentiment, it's kind of like with weight loss, it's what I focused on was the person. And that feelings that I wanted to feel when I got to that place. And so the best, the best sort of illustration of that is, is I wanted to feel more comfortable traveling. And this was on a plane. And I always kind of joke, I'm not sure if that's possible, but I'm going to try. Right. But But what I focused on was predominantly, and for those folks who are a little bit heavier, they'll know exactly how this feels. The meeting a seat extender. Yeah. And that is, is kind of like an embarrassing thing that you have to, you have to stop a flight attendant or ask for, you know, push the little button, you they got to come out, you have to ask them very loudly, right, what it is you need, and then they come out with this only hanging to you. And sometimes they're really good about it, trying to slide it in your pocket, kind of like they're heading into a tip. And other times, it's like, Okay, everybody, this person's fat, right. And they need help. Right? And, and so part of it is like, yeah, that's embarrassing, right. But there's also like, totally uncomfortable, right, like, in a plane anyway. So So I focused on not the act of losing weight, because I did feel, you know, there's two parts to every thought, right. And there's the, the sort of end part, right, like the, the, the destination, and then the field then and or right holding yourself from that. So let's say if I want to lose 50 pounds, the if you if you spend too much time on the one part of that thought, which is the present of the 50 pounds and not quite getting there, like the deficiency part, or the abundant part, you can kind of get yourself into some some challenges. So then, what I tried to focus on very heavily was the, that feelings of being comfortable. And I know that that's what helped me I feel like I had this epiphany, not very long ago where I had like, okay, that is my story that is part of, of the path there. But I also this is what's funny is it manifested more than one way in that I now just fly first class. And I'm not even conscious of it. It was like, okay, somehow, at some point in time, it was just okay. The Universe essentially was telling me, and obviously my pocketbook, too, but there was a, there was a conscious effort to feel better on a plane. Right? So so so in my sort of process of travel, I got, I have lounge access, I got, I got the first slip first class tickets, right. Like every every aspect of traveling via via an airport is substantially better at TSA. You know, like, these things just sort of happened to happen without me even like putting it together because it occurred. And I'm only consciously thinking about it. Oh, okay. That's part of the manifestation that I didn't even recognize or realize, right? Because, like the lounge access just kept came with a credit card. Well, that's not the reason I got the credit card, but great, you know, it happened, right? Yeah. So there's, there's a lot of those sorts of things that you want to if I actually stop and think about the how did I get here? It's there's a lot there's a lot to the net profit process of, of intentional and, and a conscious effort that goes into but even even probably, more importantly, getting getting right with the allowance. And as you said, acceptance, which acceptance I find a little more challenging. But the the awareness and allowance, part of those a part of the equation. It's something that has sort of manifested itself, I think nicely up to this point in time.

Nicoa Coach: 35:24

You just described manifestation perfectly. So you just put the total picture people don't understand. It's the total picture that once you step into a way of feeling and being even if you've never had that feeling before you just imagine it. Oh, I wonder what that would feel like to sit in a seat. That didn't make me uncomfortable. Oh, I wonder what that feels like in first class. You know, I got that Amex card too, if that's what you're talking about. And we have lounge access, and my whole world I want my world to feel easy. And I just love

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 36:02

that story. should write, as it should really,

Nicoa Coach: 36:06

I have resources available, I have people, I have access to money. And for those of you who are like, well, I don't have access to money say, Well, okay, what would it feel like? If you did? Right? Just start there? Oh, I can see my pay, you know, when I pay the bill that I do have money to pay, even if it's a $10. Bill? Oh, thank you so much, man. I love how I can pay that $10. Bill,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 36:26

you want you want the money leftover at the end of the month? No, no, I have not been the beginning.

Nicoa Coach: 36:32

Exactly. That's right. And I have this thought that, you know, when you start sitting in a space of abundance versus the scarcity that you talked about, you know, there will always be more than enough money. Right. That's the thought not the, oh, you know, there's never enough money,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 36:47

or you know, and that's, that's, that's really, that is a really important component, when you really dig into that sort of get rid of the notion of scarcity is the the world around you will take care of itself. If you allow if you give it a little bit more space, and that is a tough pill to swallow. Like don't, don't get me wrong to think that it's somehow easy, I still sort of deal with it from time to time. But there is a lot to be said of the there's a great there's a great line from a book that I read not too not too long ago, and it was focused on the the next step the horizon will take care of itself. And, and it from my from my perspective, that's a B, focus on being focused on finding the the happy thoughts, the good emotions, and the rest of it take care of itself. And it's really easy to say that, but it is so much easier when you actually be it.

Nicoa Coach: 37:51

That's right. Oh my gosh, beautiful. You know, it's this faith really, in whatever faith you want to tap into. If you have some sort of belief system that, you know, life is working out for me versus life never works out for me. I think that fear uncertainty and doubt tends to get further and further away from me, it may still be over there in the corner behind me, I'm pointing to the back of my room, you know, but it doesn't scare me anymore. It's not on my shoulder. And I just say, You know what, I'm not going to put my attention there. And, and the word acceptance, you said you you sometimes still challenge with that. And when I think about that word, when I'm accepting what is. So let's say, a while back, I talked on an espresso shot about overdrew my business account, and it was a surprise, I didn't expect it. I didn't see it coming. There was just a charge that came through that I wasn't ready for. And that I could make that mean a whole bunch of things. Right? I could have had a massive panic attack, I could have freaked out. But I remember sitting there thinking, okay, what are the facts? We now have a new set of facts, what I want to do about it? How will I fix that? How will I overcome that? I don't have to be dramatic. In the acceptance of what is I can just look at it. Most people think we're supposed to be dramatic. Oh, my God, I can't believe that happened. Oh, you know, and then if they really dive deep, to your point about really going into the emotional work, doing the root cause analysis. Okay, why? What are you making that mean? What, it's not going to change in the next five minutes? So how would you like to experience that? And it sounds like you really had to learn that emotional tap in and then observing it you really do in the work my friend? I mean, it's really quite beautiful.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 39:49

Well, well, thank you. There is I think it's a it's a great sort of perspective to have, you know, and I think it does, some of it comes with perspective, a lot of it comes from judgment, right? Because I, I tend to be down the path at the moment of everything is perfection. Everything exists for as it should be, and it exists as it should. And so it only becomes a problem as soon as we introduce some judgment of some kind as it ought to be this way or it should, right, you should all over yourself, right? Like, you don't, you don't have any of these problems when you don't have the judgment associated with them. They simply exist and they happen and great. So like you said, what next, you know, for for me on the path the acceptance side. That was it was a lot of it was and I saw this with others in the group as well. It was there's a lot of forgiveness that is required in the act of acceptance, especially when we believe and if we externalize our problems right? That that is where a lot of it a lot of it happens as well but the acceptance is it's all us it's entirely us it is all we have right and and the self forgiveness of my body letting like My body did this to me, or I did this to my body as if they're two things, right? Yes, yes, I do believe we're infinite creatures in a physical or temporary physical experience, I do tend to believe that. But I also know that it just kind of is and, you know, the act of accepting and thanking your body for what it has done for you. Right in this journey and or what you've done to it in this journey, right, and just a lot and just sort of work through that I do believe that there's a lot of hang ups and, and people being held back from their best version of their self because of the lack of acceptance, which is where I say, in practice, I've seen a little bit more challenging with that. Just just because I think I think that's the most challenging of of the bunch of of components, right? Yeah, that that lack of lack, I would say, practice or discipline on that front.

Nicoa Coach: 42:03

And you're in, you're talking about forgiveness. So yeah, so a lot of people have, you know, you wake up and you're 50 years old, and you think, Oh, my God, I should have been further along at this point, or forgiving yourself, I think has to even be taken to the next level of forgiving yourself for even thinking that thought. Right? So if I can forgive myself for even judging myself at all, not just the forgiving myself for not meeting a goal I had said, or yeah, that critic is getting in your way. And when you said when you're looking external, most people are still looking externally to gauge their measure of success or health or well being is Oh, indeed, what? What, what did you have to forgive yourself for? Do you think was the most profound? Or forgive in general? I don't know.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 42:54

Yeah, I remember having a lot of consternation, like when COVID started, about, like, not being able to get to the gym, not being able to do things. And I think everybody had this, I mean, so it's not like, I'm alone in any of that, right? But like, the life changed substantively enough. And the lack of social interaction, physical movement became difficult, especially in those times where they were like, you can't even go outside to go for a walk. Right? Where it's like, that, that that broke me, I mean, for a period of time, the literally. And, and I think there's a lot of the, because I've had phases, and I think about these sort of milestones or moments in life of forgiving, the I had good runs on weight loss or physical strength, and, and then they fell away, or they something happened in generally, in my past of like, significant runs at this, I something occurred, you know, got sick, broke a bone sprain an ankle, you know, and then you're kind of like, okay, and then the perfectionism is like, why try that goes into that go into that, like, if you're you can't be perfect, why start? Right. And a lot of people struggle, struggle with that, if I can't, if I can't be perfect on the first tried, and I was not meant to be. And I know there's a, there's a fair amount of those things where I needed to let go of the notion of the way things ought to be especially the past, right there, which I cannot change, and, and that the past should have somehow been different, when in fact, was, was not, but it's also an illusion anyway, right? Like, the whole notion is it's only our interpretation of what it was, it doesn't mean that's what it really was, you know, there's this little bit of acknowledgment of that.

Nicoa Coach: 44:55

Yeah, it's a really fascinating process. But the only way listeners that you can actually do this work, is observe yourself, until you're willing to look at yourself, sit with your own thoughts, reflect on why you feel the way you feel, you will stay in the masses, you'll stay in that, you know, robotic way of living. Now, that's a choice. And there's nothing wrong with it either. But you can't have it both ways. You can't complain about it, and be upset about it and suffer and not be willing to sit with it and and do something about it. Because I always say what do you want? How's what you're doing, getting you what you want? If you're not getting what you want? Are you willing to try a different way? And if you are not willing to try a different way? Are you willing to accept what is without judgment? And that's the hardest part. So we're going to take a quick coffee break. And when we get back, I'd love for you to tell us about how you have begun to grow your business. And what that experience is an entrepreneur in in partnership with being a full full time employee has been for you. Okay,

Unknown: 46:06

we hope you're enjoying listening to this episode of Coffee with Nicoa. Make sure to subscribe so that you never miss an episode and follow Coffee with Nicoa on Instagram to find inspiring content that will help you begin creating your life by design.

Nicoa Coach: 46:21

We didn't dance like I usually do, but we're back. Okay, so Chris, you shared with us a beautiful story about that self reflection, how did that help you tap into wanting to create a becoming the sales cop guy.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 46:38

So during COVID, I spent a very conscious, again, the word conscious comes up again, effort to to reengage with the outside world, right because cuz we were all like locked up, right. And so I i proactively reached out to at least two people a day, that was the goal to just say, you know, whether LinkedIn or text or whatever, just to reach out and so I got a lot of people on on Zoom. for that. So zoom came my became my friend, I know a lot of people abhor it now, but, but it was absolutely my friend in in that cycle of reengagement, and in those in those exercises of simply like re engaging people, because I also use it as an opportunity to pick back up where there might have been some time that has lapsed from the last from that last, you know, interaction. And that allowed me to think about possibilities. Like truly, the engagement with other human beings simply talking to conversing is aided in the development of ideas, people say things, and if you're paying attention, you will find that, that's really good. Let me write that down. Right, or, we're gonna have a debate, or we're gonna have a just, you know, just just any sort of physical interaction I have found is is a great place for ideation. It just, it just occurs and you'll have these fruitful moments if you pay attention. And in that, that's the that's the part where I saw something on the weight loss program. So like, I joined that group to be able to do that I've really, the only thing that I've utilized from that group happens to be the weekly meetings. Right? But that was profound in my development personally, then then it was the same thing of interaction with an old sales that you're funny enough, he was he he kind of just said, well, well, maybe I could get something going for you one time. Well, he didn't. But he was the reason why I started thinking about other things. That was that when somebody needed to plant that seed because I hadn't felt that thought. Right. And so it just, it blossomed. And that's where I joined the group that had the they had a project, it was a leadership group. It's also where I started my MBA program, all came from COVID, like all of these things, like all at once, because you know, I just can't help it myself, I kind of want to dabble in lots and lots. And so I said a lot of that's, yeah, I think that was a big thing. I said a lot of Yes, of like, let's just do it, and we'll figure it out. And so that's that's how life has been. So that that was the development of the brand, the sales comp guy, that was the writing of the books, I went into pay transparency, as well as the sales compensation, develop the workbook. And then and then just most recently launched my sort of initial cohort for coaching, as well with with my mentor. And that's, that has come to the place of very much less steps we've talked about today, right, the need to focus on the emotions and the thoughts being, in my opinion, more of a prevalent component of the how do I feel better, it really comes with small exercises of thought change and emotion shift. And that's, that's, that's where all the came from, but it was really COVID it. That's the COVID blessing for me was the fact that it created an environment where I needed to recognize that I wanted to do things differently because it gave us perspective and I think it gave lots of people perspective like do I want to work as much do I want do I want to value my pet time or in my in my people time? Right? Those things mattered the development of relationship friends and family like they matter and and they put it in a very different perspective in the equation.

Nicoa Coach: 50:41

Yeah, this is your life by design. You started actually intentionally setting out your design. And you know, consciousness is intention, right when I'm aware that I can make a choice. So when you decided to start fostering I love the ideation triggers. I mean, if you're not fostering friendships, relationships, you know, don't As part of the challenges, you're the common denominator of your life, so you're going to be sitting there, you can either sit there and be frustrated, or just randomly call for people and just talk, just say, hey, you know, I love that. And that's what you do with me. I mean, we reconnect. I think the last time we were talking, I was in the car. I was about to pick up something. You and I are talking, and I realized, halfway through our conversation, I'm sitting here being all a little bit. Well, you know, Chris, you think about life this way, you know, Nicoa, I already do.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 51:33

I've learned I've learned some things over the years, which, which I absolutely love our conversations, for that very reason, and really has only been like, 10 minutes here. 12 is there you know, like, because it's never been anything formal. It's just like, you know, hey, you got some time. And yeah, like, literally between, I think it was like, between an appointment and you were driving to another appointment type of thing. And that's what you had. Okay, great. Well, in that moment, that is where I think that's where you gave me the CO creating at its best that I was like, I took that damn book. And I listened to it a dozen times. And I took so much out of that simply by the one thing of the somebody gave you that recommendation you were passing on to me, but you hadn't yet read it yet. And it was like, but this one, this one was like huge for me, in my understanding of how all these pieces sort of work together. And, and for those that don't know that book, that's Wayne Dyer, and Esther Hicks. That's right. And it's in his banter back. And fourth, if you've listened to the to the audible have it spectacular, by the way. And it's just it's one of those things where show show help him understand that even even as we ascend upon our mastery of our being, there are still lessons, right? There are lessons in all things.

Nicoa Coach: 52:52

Absolutely, absolutely. And I love that I didn't even realize you listen to it multiple times. And, and I finished it right away that after I had suggested it to you, I was like, I gotta go get on that book. And at the end of the day, you may for those of you listening, you may want some additional support about these two individuals. So research Wayne Dyer research, Esther Hicks, because we've already listened to a lot of their stuff online. So reading the book is kind of like, oh, we know these people. And it makes sense to us. But it's validating that journey. And, you know, we've had such a phenomenal conversation today. I feel like we could talk for like 18 more hours. But why don't we pause for a minute and reflect on advice giving to the listener, you know, a life by design can happen by default, or it can happen. As we've said today, consciously or intentionally. You've gone through a lot of transformation. And what I love is that it's really in a short period of time over the last couple of years. I mean, 2021 that long ago. And it was a little scary yesterday when people wear masks because of the smoke. And it made me think, Oh God, what if it happened again, you know, so what advice would you give people? So maybe they don't need that big, instigating apocalyptic moment? To drive them to change? What if they could just change right now, towards more of what they wanted their deepest heart's desires? What would be your words of wisdom and advice, Chris?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 54:23

Yeah, I would start with the you don't have to be sick to get better. Right? We don't we don't need. Although I've had plenty of these life experiences, you don't need all of that contrast in your life. You don't need that other side. You know, like, you don't have to be on deathbed in order to experience it, you know, like, like, if you know, Anita Moorjani. He's dying to be me book. Highly recommend that one, by the way. But but she essentially got a near death experience, right? And after, because of the near death experience that completely transformed her life. Well, none of us need for that to happen in order to try to simply feel better. I would say the where I start is simply by trying to stop and take a moment to recognize the moment and your reaction in it. That's that's the Okay, I got upset. Now. Why did I get upset? What was it that really triggered that? What is it that I'm thinking? What judgment do I have associated with that moment? And it might be difficult to to take the tough ones, the stuff that is in the back of our mind, that conscious that that comes up from time to time, those might be a challenge to start with? It probably is better to be like, okay, somebody just cut me off. What is my reaction? And can I start to practice a different reaction? That's the I would say that's that's kind of the A good place to start. Yeah. To change from

Nicoa Coach: 55:48

reaction to response. Right? I love the word responsibility, ability to respond. Right? So no more knee jerk reaction reacting when I don't I'm not conscious. A conscious approach is a responding approach. So that's beauty. form. Yeah, what else? What else?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 56:06

I would, I would say that one of the things that are super helpful as well as is to actually, by the by design method, right, put your put your, what you desire out there, like actually spend a little bit of time, especially if you feel like you have been on cruise control, if you're literally live in the Friday to Friday method, type of type of life, start start thinking about what it is you desire for your life, with no judgement about your capabilities of achieving it, because you may not be ready for it. You're you really are, but you're just not conscious of of that yet. But if you can, you know, I think Jim Rome does a great job of saying the everybody should try to be a millionaire, because of the person they become in in that pursuit. Right? And is Oh, yeah, it's all about that. The act of becoming that version of herself. That is it is the version we're intended to be. And I think there's a lot of value that

Nicoa Coach: 57:12

we were born already in a way I mean, you're already born whole, then you get a little bit brainwashed to think you're not so right. But if you set the intention every every year, every month, every week, every day, how would I like my day to feel today? At the end of the day? How will I feel? Do I want to be celebrating my day? Go ahead.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 57:36

Oh, and I think that there's there's a lot to the, in that process. It's it's the identifying the what and the why. And I think the what in the in this process of like, the, I want to be a millionaire, let's just just use that, right? The why? Why do I want to be a millionaire because because I want the security because I I want to feel safety in and having the money in the account, I want to I want to be able to buy the things that I desire, I want to get some new threads, right, whatever that may be, right. But we tend to get hung up on the how and the when. And I think that's the if you can think about the what and the why. So you can get the like thoughts and the emotions associated with this. And then hold off, hold off as best as you can. The details that will get you in there in the right direction, in my opinion.

Nicoa Coach: 58:22

You sound like Mike Dooley, Thoughts become things and he says just yeah, just don't think about the corseted house, and just trust. And I would always throw one more thing in there. I want this or something even better. Because to your point in the beginning of our conversation, you didn't know what box I didn't know there was another box. But I was I had blinders on. So if there's something better that I can't even come up with yet, or my conversation with Chris didn't spark an idea about then show me, you know, show me bring it to me like I want I want something better. I didn't even know Amex let you go into the lounges that was something even better?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 59:04

It is, it's totally worth just saying,

Nicoa Coach: 59:07

Chris, tell us what you're working on right now. How can people find you? How can they get your book signed, give us your spiel, we were excited to get to know you.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 59:16

So my presence is on sales comp guy.com. That's, that's where I spend a fair amount of my time constantly in development. So we're working on new new versions of that website. LinkedIn is real big for me. So just Christopher golf. So I'm on there, you can look up sales comp guy as well under that and find me if needed. I'm working on two new books this year. And they're they're still focused on sales. Compensation, in this case about the concept of fairness, and the process of hiring in sales and and then I think, as I mentioned before coaching, so we just kick started coaching with with my met one of my mentors, rich rich Mara. And so that's one of the things that's new. Uh, huh. Sounds familiar. Yeah.

Nicoa Coach: 1:00:08

That's awesome. And you also have a newsletter, right? I get your newsletter. I like that. So yeah, so people can sign up and at least start there. You know, that way, they've got a lifeline to you, and they can learn more. And I highly recommend everybody. I mean, Chris knows his shit. So make sure you're forwarding like if you can get his newsletter forwarded to your human resources, partners or sales leaders, so that they can have access to these insights. People don't often in the corporate world stay on top of things. And Chris is going to stay on top of this concept and this, this area of expertise for you. And that's the beauty of a partnership with Chris. Now, Chris, in your life by design, what you've just shared with us. What are you most proud of? Over the past however many years over your lifetime? What are you most proud of?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:01:01

I I would say is the awareness part that has presented itself far more recently, you know, not even that long ago, when I wrote my first book, I couldn't celebrate it. i It was just like the perfectionism creeped in, not only did I just put all of my vulnerability out into the world, and that was like all cheese. I'm not, there's nothing to be happy about here because it's like, oh, this just became real. And that's scary. But then it was also but I did something. I did something big. But I couldn't celebrate it because Oh, but it should have been done. How many four months ago? It should be this it should be that it was like, man, right? So the act of celebrating what I what there is to celebrate? Is is kind of probably probably it's a new thing for me. And I think I'm most proud of that. But it's just a recent awareness of it.

Nicoa Coach: 1:02:01

Well, what do you want to celebrate about yourself? Before we hang up? My favorite question to all my clients at the end of every coaching call?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:02:08

Well, I definitely want to celebrate my family. And that's my wife, Tanya and and Gracie, for those who can't see it, they're very delightful pup over there and in the picture have behind me. So the love that I have in my life is an immense part of what I'm proud of, in addition to the the, the the phase, this is this, I mean, I'm really good face of growth, and I have many, many books in front of me, I have many things to share. And speaking, speaking that I'm that I'm working on developing as as something that I offer because I do believe my sales comp guy is is a certain expertise that makes a lot of sense. But I also believe that it can genuinely help more people by being able to share some of my story of of that weight loss. I think that there are a lot of people who struggle with that self worth. And the feeling lost in the journey of not feeling sufficient, because of those those challenges. And I would like to be able to be someone who can help them in that journey.

Nicoa Coach: 1:03:23

Well, you are definitely helping them in that journey just by being you and role modeling and sharing your story. And you've done that today. And I cannot wait to share it with the world. And thank you, Chris, for spending time with me.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:03:34

Thank you. I appreciate it.

Unknown: 1:03:39

Thanks for joining us for a caffeinated conversation. Subscribe to Coffee with Nicoa. For more stories from people living a life by design. You can also find inspiration on Instagram. Just follow Coffee with Nicoa. And check out our website Coffee with nicoa.com. And that's Nicoa N IC O A. We look forward to talking with you soon. And enjoy your coffee between now and then.

Nicoa Coach: 1:04:06

What did we not get to talk about Chris?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:04:08

We didn't talk about caffeine. So I was gonna say that I am might be your first caffeinated ly challenged. Guest here, right? I drink. I drink coffee. But decaf. That's that's a thing. Right. Related related to the related to the the that health issue that I that I ran into years ago. But But I love coffee. Right? I just I just don't do the cap the caffeine side of it. So

Nicoa Coach: 1:04:39

well. It felt like a caffeinated conversation.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:04:43

Because we have brought so much energy to this early Friday morning. That's all

Nicoa Coach: 1:04:46

that's right. It's because we are we're all jacked up on life. On Life, I'm high on life. And I also happen to also be highly caffeinated at this point. So who knows what's about to happen after we hang up? I forgive you for being a decaf drinker. I didn't say it had to be caffeinated. Well, we didn't even come

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:05:09

up it didn't even come up. So that was like there must have been a reason for it. But I do enjoy my coffee. Right don't get me wrong. I enjoy coffee immensely. I put in some it's called Dark Magic roast and it seemed appropriate for this morning, right. That's how we got started.

Nicoa Coach: 1:05:24

And we could have talked for another three hours about dark magic or light magic at some point. You have to send me the name of the coffee too, so everybody can check that out. Sounds good. Thanks, Chris. Thank

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:05:35

you. Appreciate it.