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Jealous of a Friend? Here's What That Feeling Is Actually Telling You

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Jealous of a Friend? Here's What That Feeling Is Actually Telling You
Mar 12, 2026 Episode 168
Alex Alexander

Ever feel both happy and also … a little jealous when a friend shares good news?

I experienced this dichotomy the other night, when my friend shared a success. I found myself performing enthusiasm while dealing with conflicted emotions; I wanted that kind of success, too. Did this make me a bad friend for feeling something other than pure joy for her?

In this episode I talk about jealousy in friendship: how it happens, for all things big and small; the different ways it might manifest; and how acknowledging it can shift your friendship culture in a deep way.

I think the goal is not to have no feelings. It’s to let the feelings tell you something useful – and then bring that information back to your friendship.


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • Envy vs. jealousy in friendships, and processing each through self reflection and honest conversations
  • How to avoid the distance and awkwardness that jealousy or envy can provoke in friendships
  • The internal struggle of performing enthusiasm while dealing with conflicting emotions
  • Why envying somebody famous feels so different from envying a friend


Resources & Links

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!


This episode is sponsored by Slowly, a digital pen pal app used by over 10 million people worldwide. If you’ve been looking for a low-pressure way to connect with someone completely outside your normal friendship circle, this is it. Exchange letters at your own pace, no small talk panic required.

Download Slowly free and get 30% off Slowly Plus using my link: https://open.slowly.app/miXL/l8ei5iw6

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? hits shelves June 16. Get on the waitlist for pre-order bonuses + a first look.

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