Ever survived the parental aftershock of spring break with your wits barely intact? Then this episode's for you! With Marco Polo still on his adventures and new face sporting a thumb cast, we kept our thrill-seeking to a minimum. But hold on to your grocery lists, fellow parents, I'm also breaking down how I managed to wrangle my budget back in line after a break-induced spending spree, all while adding a new word like 'bruh' to my daily mom lexicon thanks to my kiddos. You're not alone in the post-break pandemonium, and I've got stories and strategies to prove it!
Now, let's swap tales from the honesty files of our little commentators. Binding us in laughter and the occasional wince, kids have a talent for dropping truth bombs at the most unexpected times. I'll recount how my son's couch commentary on my snoring became an accidental nudge about my single status, and you'll hear how other listeners' children have become mini life-coaches with their unsolicited advice on everything from aging to career choices. These pint-sized pundits remind us to find humor in the raw clarity they bring to our lives, and I'm here to highlight the best of their unscripted moments. Tune in for a dose of reality served with a side of giggles, as we celebrate the unfiltered charm that comes standard with every child.
Ever survived the parental aftershock of spring break with your wits barely intact? Then this episode's for you! With Marco Polo still on his adventures and new face sporting a thumb cast, we kept our thrill-seeking to a minimum. But hold on to your grocery lists, fellow parents, I'm also breaking down how I managed to wrangle my budget back in line after a break-induced spending spree, all while adding a new word like 'bruh' to my daily mom lexicon thanks to my kiddos. You're not alone in the post-break pandemonium, and I've got stories and strategies to prove it!
Now, let's swap tales from the honesty files of our little commentators. Binding us in laughter and the occasional wince, kids have a talent for dropping truth bombs at the most unexpected times. I'll recount how my son's couch commentary on my snoring became an accidental nudge about my single status, and you'll hear how other listeners' children have become mini life-coaches with their unsolicited advice on everything from aging to career choices. These pint-sized pundits remind us to find humor in the raw clarity they bring to our lives, and I'm here to highlight the best of their unscripted moments. Tune in for a dose of reality served with a side of giggles, as we celebrate the unfiltered charm that comes standard with every child.
Hey guys, welcome back to the gag is fire gas. I am your girl. Charlie Chante, thank you for coming back and kicking it with me for another week, so happy that you are here. It's a new episode, so you know what that means. It's a Friday, because new episodes come out on Friday, unless it's a fluke or something and then it might come out on a Saturday. But Happy Friday to you. And if you're looking at me on YouTube, you probably like what the hell? Mm-hmm, spring break just ended and I look like spring break just ended and so I'm like, hmm, spring break just ended.
Speaker 1:
I always do widows Episodes and I always talk about serious stuff. So I feel like we're gonna dedicate this spring break, we gonna dedicate this to the little one. Now, new face is the only kid at home, so you know it was. We already knew. You know we weren't gonna really do anything for spring break. We're gonna wait for Marco Polo to come home, that way I can do something with the both of them. You know, spread my time out like that. Plus, new face still got a broke thumb and he got a cast, so we wouldn't go do nothing too much and nothing anyway. So come on in, have a seat, get ready, and we're gonna go ahead and jump into this week talking about spring break because, like I know, y'all parents out there is feeling the same thing I was feeling. So let's just, you know, let's be family and let's talk about it. But before I get started, I do want to thank feed spot. They contacted me and let me know that they had ranked me as Number four in their top 20 of widow mom podcast. So thank you guys for that. Over there, y'all can slide on overhead over and check them out. I'll put the link in the description so that you can go over there and check it out.
Speaker 1:
Now let's get into this. Okay, and being a mom is one of my greatest accomplishments ever, like One of my greatest, probably the greatest accomplishment ever, because, like I get to be some folks, mama. You know I'm saying, and you know being a parent comes with its ups and downs. I Don't know how many times I have been called bruh this week, a bro, a bro. I Don't know how many times I've said bruh this week. Bruh, come on now. But bruh is now in my vocabulary and I'm not even sure how we got, how we get here, how we get here my kid thinks, since he's like a fourth of an inch shorter than me, he's he's hit me with all of these challenges and I'm like Bruh, let, we're not finna do that. See, look, I just called him bruh bruh, we we not finna do that. And I asked him to be on this episode. But Speaking with him and he's his own manager, his requirements was a little too much for me. So I you know I'm a single show with the Non-existent budget and doing my own work, so I couldn't afford to have him on show. So y'all just gonna give me today, all right.
Speaker 1:
So spring break, like do y'all take off from work for, like spring break? Because I know a lot of people they wait until spring break to take off and hang out with their kids and stuff. I Don't do that. Guess what if I take off and then I got my kid out? Everybody else is out with a kid too, and we are. We live in Florida and we live in the seventh largest school district in the nation, so why I'm gonna take off and be outside with everybody else and they kids, like I'm a lit, we gonna chill here at the house. He gonna chill here at the house. He gonna catch up on his rest, catch up on his chores and any homework that he needed. Turning he finna do that. I'm not about to come outside with the rest of y'all right now. Mm-hmm, we go out. I want my child to not recognize nobody. So I hope all y'all had fun during spring break.
Speaker 1:
Um, you know, cuz my baby was at the house and y'all know he got a broke thumb and he got the cast, so he couldn't really do much anyway. So, like you know, it is what it is, he played video games. I mean, what kid gonna turn down video games? He played video games and I was perfectly happy with that. So let's move right along.
Speaker 1:
Why do kids eat so much? So last week I went to the grocery store. I think it was Saturday or Sunday. I went to the store, got little stuff or whatever. Whatever you know, it's like I know this is not everything, because I wanted them people. Then when I go grocery shopping, like I can think it in my head and I've looked at the circulars and I'm like, okay, this is what I need, this is what we're gonna get. I factor in any days that I know him and my mom we're gonna go out to eat. So I'm like We'll take that out for lunch. You know we're not gonna factor it in. So normally now, keep in mind, I live in Florida, so what I'm about to say probably gonna sound crazy to some of y'all, but not really.
Speaker 1:
I'm very strategic in my shopping. So normally when I grocery shop I normally can spend about $75 a week for groceries because I plan out my meals and I don't have to buy everything, like my seasoning, my spices. I don't have to buy all that so I can just buy. We eat a lot of fresh produce and things like that. It's spring break so I'm like we can get a little bit of junk food. I don't typically buy junk food. We can get some sodas. You know I typically don't buy that once or twice a year Maybe. So now, $300 later, yes, $300, $300 later we got stuff. So I'm like this is enough stuff that'll hold you over for the week and then you'll have enough that'll hold you over for, like, you have enough that'll hold you over, for lunch is for the next week.
Speaker 1:
So when he go back to school next week, every day I see stuff slowly, slowly, slowly disappear and I told him when we was in the store. I said hey, bro, whatever schedule your stomach was on, why you was at school need to be the same schedule. Your stomach need to be on when you at the house, like there's nothing, no different. Like just because you home on break Don't mean like there's more food, like you're not that hungry. You're not that hungry. So he comes to me today he goes.
Speaker 1:
Mom, when I was in your bathroom I got on your skill Says I lost a few pounds. I said, well, if you binge eating snacks all the time, I said you probably did lose some weight cuz you ain't eating nothing to hold you over. So I don't, I don't know what it is you want me to do. Like Eat, there's food, which one we do. I can't put the weight back on you. I Don't. What do you want me to do? But it's about to be the weekend.
Speaker 1:
They finna go back to school on Monday. Homeboy gonna be ready, his clothes is gonna be together cuz I didn't do laundry. I'm a cook so he can have his meal preps and but he gonna be out the dough. Okay, love my baby, love my baby, but it's time I know when to say when. Love my baby, but he gotta go back over to them people cuz, yeah, yeah, yeah, cuz like my house just smell like Teen Boy. Now it smells like Teen Spirit. Mm-hmm, no, no, he, he gotta go back. It's nine more weeks left. Like Parents, let's hang in there. Okay, I'm here for you, I'm your support system. I got you just nine more weeks. Nine, five, six, seven, eight, nine, just nine more weeks less. We got this. Let's hang in there.
Speaker 1:
And Spring break like why do kids turn in the night? I was like, why do? Why are y'all on these benders? Y'all on these no sleep benders, and and and. Then come Monday they're gonna be like, oh, I'm so tired, oh, I can't get up. Nobody told you to be on them benders all week. Nobody told you to stay up like that. Like you should have been going to bed at the same time. Granted, I give you 30 minutes to an hour. Later, you sleep until 10 o'clock. Well, sleep in. But you know, if you got to get up at 7 to go to school, sleep until eight. Like, try to keep it consistent, because now it's gonna take you about a week or two to get your body back In the rhythm of being back into school. So why, like, why is y'all saying up for, like, do y'all attend a vampire convention tonight or something like?
Speaker 1:
Y'all, y'all, y'all are turning very nocturnal. Why, like, I can only stay up so late, me, I go bed. Okay, I don't go to bed. I get in the bed around 8, 30, 8, 45, no later than 9 o'clock, right? He coming my room, he be like, I'll say you laying it down, sir, I have to go work. It's 645, what do you mean? Oh, I see you laying it down. Shouldn't you be laying it down too? Ain't you tired too? Like, like, I think he have a notepad and he'd be in there. See, today, tuesday, we gonna mark this one off the list today, like, but it be torturing me. I love him, dip, but I don't know why he tortures mama. I Don't know, I don't, I don't, I don't get it, I don't, I Don't, I don't get it. But you know that's my baby and I love him, you know.
Speaker 1:
So, moving along, like, what kind of stuff do y'all do with y'all kids during spring break? Like, do y'all play board games? Do y'all go on trips, like, what kind of stuff do you do, like, during spring break? And, like I said, since new face has the cast on his hand, all we've talked about this week is his cast. He like man, what? You take my arm, finna, look like I'm like skinny crusty, you know what? What other words would you like for me to use to you know to describe it? So we have. You know I've made.
Speaker 1:
I made more time for him during spring break, so we did play checkers, um, this week, and you know we have a cabinet full of board games. One thing that I can't say that I do is I do play board games with the kids. Kids love board games, so we do do that. We did that this week. He asked me to go to the library and we didn't get around to that. So next week we'll I'll stop in the library one day, like we have library cards, but I think they expired, so we'll get new library cards. We'll check out some stuff in the library. You know we'll do that and have a Little bit of fun.
Speaker 1:
He also wanted to go get some tea from our tea place. I don't know where you guys are listening from or watching from, but we have a place called HT HTO. So we go there to have like 10 different flavors of tea and you can mix and match and things like that One day I'm gonna get this mic together like I Don't know, like it ain't doing what I needed to to do, but, praise the Lord, we gonna work through it. So we go to our favorite tea place, we mix and match our teas and I also go there because there's a place Right before you get there where you can drop off your use cooking grease and stuff. So you know I'll be mom and having fun at the same time.
Speaker 1:
We did that and what else did we do? We Put together a derby car and I had to use a hammer and put this derby car together. It actually came together nicely. I wish we would have painted it. It's like it was like a little kid that we he got from Loves, like during COVID, when they wasn't doing the workshops anymore, because we used to go to the Loves workshops, and so we finally put that together because I found it the other day cleaning out. So I was like we can do this like a clean. We'll put it together. I ain't gonna give it away. I thought away, we did that and we just have fun.
Speaker 1:
We not doing our big one until for like a couple more weeks, until Marco Polo. Like I said, marco Polo come home and then we gonna go to Universal. That's gonna be the big one. And then my pockets is gonna be like girl, why I'm gonna be like I don't know. Oh, oh, oh, oh, no, I don't know, I Don't know. And so, since we are keeping with the lightheartedness of spring break, I polled you guys and if you didn't see the poll is because you're not following me. So Make sure you go and you subscribe to the Instagram page and you will see the polls that I put up.
Speaker 1:
So I polled you guys and I asked you guys what is the craziest thing your kids have said to you? Right, I'm gonna get this microphone together. What is the craziest things your kids have said to you? And let me tell y'all. Y'all came through with the foolery, because these kids do not care, they gonna speak, they might. I'm like, if you ever want to know the truth about something, ask the kid, because they gonna tell you the truth. And then some, they don't care if they hurt your feelings, they don't care if it make you cry, because they gonna tell you. So let's go ahead. And this is part of the you can't make this up, cuz, cuz. You can't make this up like these kids. The first thing, that kind of they mind, there is no like. Let me think about this first before I said there's none of that. This is just, I'm gonna say it and you can take it how you want to take it. So I'm gonna start with y'all's favorite new face. New face told me the other day he actually can't cuz I fell asleep on the couch and if you know me, you know I love sleeping on the couch.
Speaker 1:
I don't know, I don't know. My grandma used to do it all the time and I started laying on the couch I don't even know what. I started sleeping on the couch. However, that couch is comfortable. I was sleeping there. I was sleeping there, y'all Watching my shows, minding my own business, and I fell asleep. Do y'all know?
Speaker 1:
This boy came up to me and said Mom, why you not sleeping in your bed? You snoring out here and you snoring loud, bro, because I'm tired, I'm very tired. So, yes, maybe I should be in my room sleeping on my CPAP machine, but I'm not. Okay. My hair on the couch, nice and comfortable, with my heated blanket and my dog not bothering nobody. But you made it a point to wait for me to get out of bed, but you made it a point to wake me up out my sleep To tell me that I'm snoring, and that I'm snoring loud, bro. You could have when you're in closure, though he's like I hear you through the wall. I'm tired, I don't know what to tell you. Turn your TV up. I don't, I don't know, I Don't know, sir, I don't know what to tell you, but I think that was very rooted and consider it and I wouldn't bother nobody you could have. You could have kept that to yourself, baby boy.
Speaker 1:
He also Came for me and he was like You're not going out, he's like there's no man. You need to go meet Son. Tell me you ready for me to get a man so I can be out the house more, without telling me I need to find a man so I can get out the house more. Okay, I'm working on it. All right, I'm working on you, don't gotta. You don't gotta ask me, you don't gotta remind me. I know that I don't got nobody, son, like you, you. You don't have to remind me, I know. Thank you, for Then he goes. I just care about you, mom, and I want somebody to care for you. The Lord cares. Okay, don't you don't you worry a little hard, okay, you just worry about you, the homework. Don't don't worry about my comments and goings, because when I start coming and going, I'm gonna be coming and going and you gonna be like mom, what are you coming home? I've seen you in action before soon.
Speaker 1:
So let's get into some of the comments that you, y'all left me about the things that y'all kids say, and some of this are like I just I Couldn't believe it. So somebody left that their child asked them why did it take so long to graduate college? Well, first of all, at least I went to college, don't? It don't matter how long it took me, like, like, how about you focus on graduating middle school? Because I did, you know, high school to elementary to and college three times.
Speaker 1:
So these kids be coming for you and they, they come for you in the most humblest way because they tone, don't be off, they just be humble and they just they meet it from the most serious of places, I mean Deep down, like deep down inside, like they thought about this and they were like I'm gonna, I'm gonna say this and I'm gonna present it and it's gonna be so amazing. I Kids say the darnest things. You can't make this up. Someone's kids said mommy, are those your back boobies? Now, one thing kid gonna tell you is if you gang some weight, they're not gonna shy. They're not gonna shy from it and New face lets me know.
Speaker 1:
All the time and I've had to explain to him several times He'd be like mommy, he's like why you got them lines on your stomach From you, my good sir. These lines on my stomach are from you, my good sir. Okay, you put these here. I didn't make these up. You put these here. And no matter how big I get or how small I am, these lines is gonna forever be there. But mommy loves you. Okay, he's like why don't you just get them covered up? How you want me to do that? You just want me to go get, get, get squeaky lines tatted on my stomach. That's what you want me to do. How about you stay out my business? Okay, for nine months, 39 weeks and three days, I gave you a nice, warm, safe place to live, and this is the things you gave me.
Speaker 1:
So what? I got a little extra fat on my back. Okay, look fat back. I'm working on unbending my back. Okay, she working on unbending her back too, and I know her she not even be.
Speaker 1:
So I don't know why little baby said that. And I know a little baby, little bit little mama, she wow, she wow, love it. Oh, that's my little baby, these kids Jeepers, creepers, and they're my little guy niece. She asked her mama, are you still single? Because you can't get a boy that like you? We don't have problem with boys liking us, it's problems with the boys acting right.
Speaker 1:
Lady, kids be way too much into our dating life, like on accident. And I, listen, listen, I Don't even, I Don't even, I don't even have any words because I Don't have no words, because kids is gone, kids, and kids is gonna say Kids gonna say Kids gonna say what it is that they gonna say, you know, and they don't, they don't care, they just don't, they don't care. Okay, um, I have um, no words, okay, I have no words. Lord, have mercy like this. I'm so, I'm so tired that, yes, they are got hoodie on. I Took my twist out, so like, look, my twist is out, so I gotta wash my hair. Spring break Breaks me. Okay, I know that's not a word, but spring break breaks me. But he just fine. He nice, well rested, relaxed and just Living his best life To my parents out there.
Speaker 1:
You know, I didn't even I don't even have a a song go to week because I just I had an energy for a song go to week this week. Okay, so this portion of the show for song go to week lyric of the week. How about you tell me what song I should have picked for this week? Okay, what song Best describes spring break? So, leave in the comments what song Best Describe. I do it, you know what. Nothing I think about it. I got a song, nirvana, teen spirit. Yep, what I'm still. Do it in the comments. Leave me the song that best describes Spring breaks with your, spring break with your kids. I'm I'm interested to see some of these songs and In, like, a future episode I'll put that I'll give y'all the which y'all came up with. So what song best describes spring break with you and your child, or you and your children?
Speaker 1:
All right, so we have come to the end of the show. Thank you for joining me for another episode and remember, if you have not already, go over to YouTube and Like us on YouTube to like, share and subscribe. If you're not following the Instagram page, it is the gag is pod. Go over there like share and subscribe. Also, if you're listening on Apple or on Spotify, make sure you hit the notification. That way you never miss an episode. There is a feature on there that every time a new episode is released, you can get the automatic download. That you have to be following the show on other Spotify or Apple to do so. All right until next week, when I am much more rested and Not spring break out, I Will be back. Bye, guys, I.