They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. My own path of sobriety has been a trek of endurance, reflection, and, yes, sometimes stumbling. As we observe Alcohol Awareness Month, I pull back the curtain on the raw and often hushed realities of alcoholism, sharing not just statistics, but the visceral experiences that statistics can never fully capture. We grapple with the shadow cast by alcohol in family relationships, acknowledging the heartbreaking cycle of addiction and the courage it takes to break free. The personal narrative woven throughout this episode is a testament to resilience and an invitation for anyone on a similar journey to find solace and solidarity in these words.
Navigating the tightrope of tough love and support systems, we uncover the significance of standing by loved ones battling alcoholism and the importance of sturdy networks for those in recovery. I recount my own moment of clarity that led to the microphone before me, my voice now a vessel of hope and a beacon for change. In sharing my transition from alcohol to abstinence, I spotlight the myriad of recovery avenues available, from the privacy of online support to the helping hand of medication-assisted treatment. This episode is as much a celebration of sobriety as it is a candid exploration of the complexities of addiction, offering both my story and the reassurance that every day of sobriety is a victory worth toasting—with a non-alcoholic beverage, that is.
They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. My own path of sobriety has been a trek of endurance, reflection, and, yes, sometimes stumbling. As we observe Alcohol Awareness Month, I pull back the curtain on the raw and often hushed realities of alcoholism, sharing not just statistics, but the visceral experiences that statistics can never fully capture. We grapple with the shadow cast by alcohol in family relationships, acknowledging the heartbreaking cycle of addiction and the courage it takes to break free. The personal narrative woven throughout this episode is a testament to resilience and an invitation for anyone on a similar journey to find solace and solidarity in these words.
Navigating the tightrope of tough love and support systems, we uncover the significance of standing by loved ones battling alcoholism and the importance of sturdy networks for those in recovery. I recount my own moment of clarity that led to the microphone before me, my voice now a vessel of hope and a beacon for change. In sharing my transition from alcohol to abstinence, I spotlight the myriad of recovery avenues available, from the privacy of online support to the helping hand of medication-assisted treatment. This episode is as much a celebration of sobriety as it is a candid exploration of the complexities of addiction, offering both my story and the reassurance that every day of sobriety is a victory worth toasting—with a non-alcoholic beverage, that is.
Hey y'all, welcome back to the Gag Ears podcast. I am your girl, charlie Shante. Thank you for joining me on another episode. You know what I always say listen to the episode. It must be Friday, because new episodes drop on Friday. But you may not be necessarily listening to this on Friday, you may be listening to it on another day, but just know that new episodes are released every Friday, so make sure you check that out.
Speaker 1:
Oh man, it's another week. I don't understand why it takes Friday such a long time to get here. Like, do you not want to be here Friday? Like you are the best day of the week? Like, do you not want to be here? Like you are the best day of the week? Do you not want to be here? Let your girl know. If you don't want to be here, let me know. But I hope y'all are doing well. Yeah, I hope y'all are doing well. Hope everything is good with you. Hope you had a real good week. So we just going to go ahead and jump into today's topic Now.
Speaker 1:
I try my hardest to be the most transparent with you guys, and sometimes that's a little hard. You put stuff out and you say things because you want to help somebody else, and you know that your story could help somebody else or give somebody else the courage that they need to deal with something or this is a topic that is super sensitive. It's super real, super raw and super emotional Emotional, I guess, however you look at it. But also it's a testimony and a testament that, no matter what you're faced with and what your circumstances are, you can get through anything. So you're listening out there. You know somebody that needs words of encouragement on this type of topic. Go ahead, send this episode over to them. You never know who is going to help.
Speaker 1:
So April is Alcohol Awareness Month, and when I choose my topics, I try to pick things that are relatable to me, things that I can speak up on, cause. One thing I don't like is, uh, when people speak on topics that they are not familiar with, and I hold myself accountable to that as well. I don't like speaking on topics that I am not familiar with. So, um, we're going to talk about alcohol, alcohol awareness. Now, this is something that has plagued me since I was little, and when I say that, I mean this is something that I've had to deal with because, growing up, both of my parents were alcoholics? I didn't. My dad wasn't really in my life in the beginning portion, but when I got to meet him I found out that he was an alcoholic. And then I grew up with my mom and my grandma and so my mom was an alcoholic as well from an early age on, and the things I seen, I knew that, um, I knew, I know that that's not if I ever had kids I've been like. I know that this is not what I ever, you know, want. So we're just going today.
Speaker 1:
We don't talk about a couple of things. You know get a little sensitive. You know, see my little soft side. You know I can't always be hardcore. I can't always be a thug, I can't always be a comedian. Sometimes I can be sensitive and whatever. So we got to blend in some good stuff, some facts, and then some stories. My you can't make this up is actually is a good story. It's not funny. Well, it's funny. Looking back at it, it's funny, but for all intents and purposes it has to do with alcohol and it's not. We'll get to that point.
Speaker 1:
So April is Alcohol Awareness Month and a lot of people don't look at alcohol as a drug. But alcohol is a drug. You got to think about it. Drugs are legal, so alcohol is a drug. You gotta think about it. Drugs illegal, so alcohol is no different. Uh, it's just more socially accepted because it's everywhere you go. You go out to eat somewhere, they got wine, they got alcohol, spritzers, you know different stuff, like it's there, you know, like you're not gonna go nowhere and it's just crack laying around. You know it's more crack ain't legal, sure are you right? So, like, if you go to certain states, dang, that's not it, because weed is legal in certain. Okay, just just forget that. I was ever even trying to give y'all an example. Okay, because my frontal lobe ain't frontal loping.
Speaker 1:
But alcohol is legal and it's very accessible. Like I said, anywhere you go you can get alcohol. So nobody thinks that, oh, this is a drug up here sitting on a counter. Nobody thinks that, oh, this is a drug up here sitting on the counter. So, yeah, so more than 178,000 people die from alcohol each year. You say, oh, that sounds like a lot, but considering how many people we have in the world, it's like not a lot, but it's still 178,000 people too many, especially for something that is just not supposed to be. That is just. That's just not what it's supposed to be. And then alcohol dying, alcohol death is like the number one thing that that is preventable, right? So, as of the date of this recording, I have been sober for 13 months. Right, I've been sober for 13 months, so I clap it up for that. I've been sober for 13 months.
Speaker 1:
My decision to stop. So my decision to stop was I didn't drink a lot anyway, like I didn't drink like how I used to, but my decision to stop was I wasn't drinking that much. I was drinking maybe three, four times a year. So when people, when I tell people that I stopped drinking, I'm like, oh my God, you were alcoholic, you had a problem. And I'm like, no, like I had only I was only drinking three, four times a year go out to places that I would just always get a drink, and it was becoming like my go-to, it was becoming my vice. It was becoming how I could tolerate being outside and I was like I don't want this for me and I have really bad migraines. And they started me on a medication and they were like you can absolutely not drink on this medication. Like it will make you violently sick. And my goddaughter is a pharmacist and you know she's like, nah, mama.
Speaker 1:
So I, so I stopped drinking and I was like I thought it was gonna be hard. I really did. I was like how am I gonna do this? Because, like, what if I go out with my friends and they want to have a drink, you know like, and I'm just gonna be like, nope, I don't drink. But here I am 13 months later, sober now. That's not to say that I don't have moments. I I call my best friend all time like girl. I'm like I've come this far, you know, and I've come too far that I just I can't, I'm not going back there. And people often ask me well, are you done drinking forever, or is this just a phase? And to be honest with you, I don't know. I really don't know. But for right now I know this is what I want and I actually feel. I actually feel better than I felt in a long, long time.
Speaker 1:
I want to say I had my first drink when I was 12 and I remember it so vividly. I got it from my older brother and my first drink was gin and juice, Like super old school. Now my brother is 10 years older than me, so he was already old enough to drink. So my first drink was gin and juice. And then I remember, when I was 15, I, um, I was, I had got so drunk off a bottle of Parmesan, oh my God. Like no, no, no, it was Erkenjerk E and J. I was like never again, never again. And so you know I shouldn't have been drinking, I know I shouldn't have been drinking. So for me to say I didn't drink no more after that for a while is wild. Um, I, man, I, when I joined the military, I, it was boy.
Speaker 1:
Tell you what we was in that thing drinking, drinking. And it's crazy because I told myself when I was younger, I was like I'm not going to drink and I'm not going to. You know, because, like I see, I see my parents and like that's not who I want to be, but this whole time this is who I'm becoming. I remember, like on the weekends, like we used to buy bottles on bottles, on bottles, and then the crazy thing is I used to drink an underage drink on top of that and then I used to drive y'all Like I don't recommend that. Um, that is so unsafe. Looking back on, it is so, so stupid. Uh, cause I could have hurt myself, could have hurt other people. But yeah, like drinking like really really heavy, really really bad. And actually when my husband passed away, they thought that I was going to hurt myself and so they actually came to my house and took all my knives but left me with a refrigerator full of alcohol and I'm like I could drink myself into oblivion with all of this alcohol that I got in this refrigerator right here.
Speaker 1:
So there's that and, like I said, both of my parents are heavy drinkers and you know, I've seen a lot and I think it definitely has shaped some of the decisions that I made. And even when I did drink, I said that I didn't. I never wanted to see my kids see me the way that I've seen my parents be drunk. See my kids see me the way that I've seen my parents be drunk. That's one thing that I never want to do. So anytime I know I was going to drink, I would always get a babysitter for my kids Because, like I said, I just didn't want that. I know how it messed me up and I didn't want to do that to them, and so you know if I would.
Speaker 1:
And after a while it got to a point where I was kind of like, so if I would? And after a while it got to a point where I was kind of like, well, you know, I can drink in front of them as long as I have like one. You know, like I can't drink like I normally do, but if I have one it's okay, and you know. So I had started getting kind of lax, like, ok, I know how to not get to that point, you know I don't need help, but I know how not to get to that point, to where you know my kids are seeing me passed out and different stuff like that. I just know I didn't want that for me. Um, my turning point was so my parent, my sadly, my dad still drinks and he's it's not good. Um, like like he got like a problem, problem. I've always tried to help him but for some reason he just didn't want to stop. He don't want to stop. Now it's affecting his health. I don't even know. It's just all bad. It's just all bad.
Speaker 1:
And about I want to say like 10 years ago I moved to Florida 10 years ago and I moved to Florida and then my mom moved here too, and then I told her if she moved here, that she would have to stop drinking because I'm like you can't stay with me, you can't be around my kids if you're going to continue to drink. So I'm like, basically, you either going to choose the alcohol or you're going to choose your grandkids. You can't do both, like no. So she chose her grandkids. I lived in Texas and she would come and visit me in Texas and I didn't allow. I knew how she would get and so I used to not let her drink at my house. But it was to the point where my dad used to sneak alcohol to her at my house and then, if I didn't give her alcohol, she would go to like my neighbor's house and she would ask my. She would go like crying to my neighbors and stuff and like they would be like, oh, why you treat your mom like that, or whatever. They would get on me because I'm like she just want to have a little drink or whatever, not understanding that they are fueling an addiction. And so she used to go to my neighbor's house and ask for alcohol and stuff. And so I told her enough and I told her I was like you can't come visit, no more, none of that. Me and the kids getting ready to go to Florida, don't if. Nope, if you're going to drink, don't come visit us. And so after she told her grandkids, she, she decided to choose the grandkids over the alcohol. So I was able to save her, you know, from that. And so I'm glad, and she thanks me for that all the time, because my whole she's been an alcoholic my whole life, existence. And you know, I'm almost 40 years, 40 years old. So you know that's that's a long time. So, like I'm learning a new version of my mom, but, like I said, unfortunately my dad is still caught in um the cycle, um of that.
Speaker 1:
Do I think I was alcoholic? No, but looking back on it, I think I was. No, but looking back on it, I think I was. I truly think that I was, you know. But I didn't think I was an alcoholic because I didn't look like other alcoholics, like I didn't look untamed, unkept, I wasn't sloppy, I wasn't falling everywhere, I wasn't slurring, I wasn't able to not get up, I wasn't, I didn't have alcohol coming out of my pores, like I wasn't. So so in my mind I wasn't exhibiting any of that. So in my mind I'm like I'm not an alcoholic because I'm not doing all this, so, so, like I am perfectly fine, but me not knowing that just because I wasn't exhibiting, that doesn't mean that I wasn't an alcoholic. It just means that I had it under control. You know, for the most part of it.
Speaker 1:
And, like I said, when I would go places I would get a drink because I felt like that's what I needed to function, just to be out, and I felt like it was going to start becoming a problem and I felt like it was going to start becoming a problem and that's that's not what I want and that's not the example that I want to set for my kids. You know. You know it's OK to have a drink and socialize, but to be drunk is something that I didn't want them to see and it's something I pray every day that they don't turn in to. That LJ, I don't even think LJ New Face is going to. I don't even think he's going to drink alcohol. I know Marco Polo drinks, but I think he keeps it just like real, real civil with it, like I've never seen him drunk.
Speaker 1:
I've never heard of a time of him being drunk. There was actually a time. Funny story, there's actually a time. He lives in New York. So I have his location. And I told he was like, oh, I'm on my way home from the club. He was like I'll text you when I get to my room. And I was like, ok.
Speaker 1:
So I had woke up at like three o'clock in the morning and I was like, dang, he ain't text me yet. I know he been out drinking. So I looked at his location and his location was it was pinging in an alley and I was like, oh my God, my child has got drunk and he is in an alley. And I was like, oh my God, oh my God. And I have to remember he's over 18. So I, I can't, so I can't, I can't call the police, I can't do, I can't do, I can't do anything because he's over, he's over 18. So I can't, I can't do anything.
Speaker 1:
And I went into this whole thing. I was calling, calling, calling, texting, texting, texting, pick up the phone, answer, answer, pick up the phone. He is doing none of this. I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. So five o'clock five am rolls around, I text my best friend and I like, ok, I'm like he would like. Jay's not answering, he's not, you know, doing whatever, whatever. So she's like, okay, calm down, calm down. So I'm checking his social media. Yeah, when I tell you, your girl was spiraling. I was spiraling, hardiraling, hard as hell.
Speaker 1:
So then it was to the point, y'all, where I was about to call off from work Because I thought my baby was in an alley, because it was pinging at this building. I done Googled this building and it was like it was a gallery. And I done did the Google Maps where you could see in there and stuff. And I was like it was a gallery. And I done did the Google maps where you could see in there and stuff. And I was like, oh my God. So finally he, he calls me back and he was like, why are you blowing my phone up? What's wrong? And I'm like, boy, what is wrong with you? And I was like your phone is pinging in the alley, I'm just trying to make sure you was okay.
Speaker 1:
And then this whole time y'all, he was drinking and he said he felt like he had a little bit too much and he stayed at his friend's house because it was the responsible thing to do. He was like, damn, he was like you was concerned, boy. So I mean I got to stick my legs out. Yeah, my hips, y'all know I got bad hips, um, so, yeah, that's my spiraling. I wonder if he remembers that. I'm gonna have to, after I record this, I'm gonna have to ask him do he remember, um, do he? Do he remember that story? Remember, he'll call it. We call it him like that. Uh, so moving right along. Um, so moving right along.
Speaker 1:
So if you, if you or somebody you know has a problem, you know people are going to get some encouragement when they go to seek help. Like when people think of help for alcoholics, they think that 12-step program or 28-day rehab. But it doesn't always look like that. Just depending on how long somebody's been drinking, they may need something that intensive, but some people just need just a better support system, just better people around them to quit drinking. You know just support groups.
Speaker 1:
For me, I just took myself out of those surroundings where I didn't stop going to restaurants. I just, you know, I prayed a lot, I just showed self-restraint and I was like this is going to be okay. And, like I've said about social media, I quit social media because if I didn't quit social media, you wouldn't get this podcast. Same thing with alcohol If I got the alcohol. If I wouldn't have stopped alcohol, then y'all probably wouldn't be getting this podcast, because the time that I used to record and stuff like that, that's time that I probably could have been drinking or passed out because I was drunk. So this podcast is so, man, it is giving me life. It's given me so much life.
Speaker 1:
One of the things that you can do is to. You know you can always look online to get help. You know you can be discreet about it. You can always talk to your primary care physician to see what resources because there are some medications that you can be prescribed to help you get through it and make it a little easier on you. Especially if you've been drinking for a long time and you feel like you're going to suffer from withdrawals, there's medications to help you facilitate that. So that's something that you would speak with your primary care about it.
Speaker 1:
When it comes to stop drinking and alcohol and awareness, there is not a one size fits all, because nobody's situation is the same. Everybody's situation is very unique. So you know, with unique situations come unique challenges and unique solutions. Um, for me, I just did a cold turkey. I mean there was no. Okay, I'm gonna have. Okay, this week I'm gonna have this many drinks and then next week I'll have that many and do it like that.
Speaker 1:
I just cold turkied it and it was hard because I loves me a good mojito or a good margarita now, but you know, I had to show self-restraint. So when I go out now I get a virgin mojito and then I'm okay, you know, just because I want to say uh, I want to say Ocho Cinco, he's, he doesn't drink, I believe. If I'm telling this correct, I believe he does not drink. And what he said is he used to get a small cup and put like some Sprite in it or whatever, and people never knew that he wasn't drinking. Because you got a small glass and then if they put alcohol and then they put a chaser in it, it's going to fizzle up just like a soda. And if it's clear, then guess what? You got the illusion. And so people just going to automatically assume so I have the mojito and then you know, nobody never knows because guess what, it's made the same way, except for it don't have no alcohol, it has a substitution of something else in it. So you know there's there's that.
Speaker 1:
I, like I said, I didn't feel like I was in too deep, so that's why I never got professional help. But I do go to therapy and I know once I get further along in therapy, I know that's something that I'm going to have to address just to deal with my traumas. I know that's part of my trauma, so I'm going to have to deal with that. But, like I said, if you or someone you know needs help, please start with your local resources. Make sure you are a friend and make sure you be there for you. Make sure you be a good support system, because when somebody stops doing anything or or seeks help for anything, the number one thing they need is a support system. So please make sure that you are that support system. Um, that they need.
Speaker 1:
All right, so you can't make this up. So of course it's gonna be an alcohol related story, y? Y'all. So one night and I'm going to tell the story how it is Y'all can judge me if you want to. I really don't even care.
Speaker 1:
So one night I had broke up with my ex and I was like I am over him. I'm finna, go out here in these streets and turn up. And I went out in the streets and did just that turned up, I turned up real hard and I went out in the streets and did just that. Turned up, I turned up real hard and I never, ever forget it. I was drinking 151 punch. I mean tossing them things back like those and, uh, sex on the beaches. And I was just throwing them things back like it would juice. I don't know how many I had, I know I wasn't driving and I got home and I like, so, like I, like I come in my, um, my garage door and then, like the bathroom is right here in front and like all I remember is opening that door and just throwing up everywhere.
Speaker 1:
And I had this red cause, like I couldn't make it the extra few steps to get to the bathroom, and I just remember for like a long time there was this red stain on the floor. Like I tried to clean that joint up, I tried to steam clean it, but you know red stains and it was white carpet, and so after that I was like stains and it was white carpet, and so after that I was like I was too shame I, because I had to walk by this and see this every day to remind me of the bad choice I had made that night. But then I want to say I'm never drinking either one of those drinks to this day. I've never drank a Long Island either, if you know. You know, never drunk any of them drinks to this day. And so I went and got my floor, all my floors redone, because I got tired of looking at that stain in the floor, like I was too ashamed, and I went and got the floors done. So that is my story and we're going to go ahead and close this thing out.
Speaker 1:
And I felt like the most y'all know I pick songs that kind of go with what I'm talking about, and so I feel like the song that goes best with this episode is Demi Lovato Sober, cause I felt her so much on that song, it just touched my soul, it just spoke to me. So Demi Lovato Sober is the song of the week. Thank y'all for joining me on another episode. Please remember to like, share, comment, subscribe. Wherever you're listening to me at, make sure you rate me on that app, make sure you head over to YouTube and check out the visual, make sure you follow us on Instagram, at thegagispod, if you would like to collaborate or if you want to. You feel like you have something to contribute to the show and want to be a guest, make sure you hit me at thegageispod at gmailcom and I'll check your email and then I'll see what we can do from there. All right, y'all, until next week. Bye guys.