The Gag is… Podcast
The GAG is" is a powerful podcast that takes you on a journey through the life of a remarkable black woman who defied the odds. Charli Shanta became a teen mom and a widow by 21. Now in her mid 30’s life has been unpredictable, she’s faced unimaginable adversity yet she's never given up. Join Charli as she shares her inspiring story, offering a message of resilience and hope even if it isn’t always perfect. Discover that even in the darkest times there are better days ahead. Laughter can always follow tears.
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The Gag is… Podcast
Play Hard, Rest Hard: Nurturing Young Athletes for Success
A conversation around the necessity of balancing sports with rest reveals vital insights into maintaining young athletes' health. Discover effective strategies for supporting children and respecting their limits while fostering a love for athletics.
• Importance of regular rest breaks for kids involved in sports
• Impact of over-scheduling on children's wellbeing
• Dynamic of parent support versus pressure in youth sports
• Strategies for integrating recovery practices into athletic routines
• Emphasizing communication and encouragement over criticism
• Fostering a positive environment in competitive sports settings
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You know. So I would say you know, use discretion and if it looks like your kid is going through the ringer or they're just wore out or they're just exhausted or something like that, sit, sit with them, have a conversation with them and make sure everything is OK, like, make sure that they're doing OK, like they don't need a break. Kids need breaks too. Okay, sometimes school will be doing the most and kids need breaks. That's all I'm saying. But evaluate your circumstance. You know what works for you, because what works for me is probably not going to work for you. Or do your own variation for me probably not going to work for you. Or do your own variation? Do your own, um, your own piece of how, how it is you want to. How it is you want to do it, you know. But just make sure, when it comes to school and achieving and stuff like that, like you're not putting too much on the kids, because kids kids can feel that and kids don't need all that. You know it's it's just too much, too much pressure and you don't want your kids balled in and there's just so much that um, that comes with that. So, yeah, so, moving right along, let's jump into sports now Sports is going to be sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports, sports, sports, sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports, sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports, sports sports sports, sports, sports, sports sports. Get it, um, you know, and you know, lorenzo has done swim for seven years, right? So that's from learning how to swim to being on a swim, a prep swim team, to actually being into competitive swim. Now, and I will say this as the time has gone on, I've learned a lot as a sports mom and before that he um, before he got into swim, he um, he did two seasons of, let me see, he did see, from eight to nine he did football, he tried basketball. So let's see 18, 19, 20, to one to two to three to four to five, no, so, yeah, so he's been swimming about seven years. Some of those, some of those sports like overlap. So you know, he's always been an active kid. I'm starting to learn because in the beginning I was one of those parents that whatever days they said you had practice, you was finna be there. So if they said you had practice six days a week and game on the seventh. You was finna be there all seven days. And then I realized that, wait, kids need breaks too. Their bodies are little, their bodies are still developing. Uh, they need, they need breaks. And you know like their little bodies hurt and ache too. We think, just because they're young, their bodies don't hurt, their bodies don't ache, but their bodies hurt in their ache. And so I realized that when it comes to kids playing sports, we're not giving enough R&R, his playing stores, we're not giving enough R and R.
Speaker 1:And with swim, especially when he got on to um competitive swim. There you know they swim during the weekend and they have competitions on weekends, not every weekend but most weekends. And so I had started a thing You're going to do practice during the week and then you're going to swim on the weekends, and then on Mondays we don't go to practice, because so there's on Sunday and then there's a practice starts on Mondays, but I don't have him go to practice on Mondays because I give him at least two days to rest in R&R. Now if he's going to be swimming just a little bit in the competitions, then you know he'll get one day, but if he's going to be swimming multiple days in the competition, like a Friday, saturday or Saturday, sunday, I give him multiple days of R&R just so his body can rest, because as a swimmer their body takes so it takes so much to swim and I want him to be good and I want him to be rested and I don't want him to be fatigued.
Speaker 1:Because we have to realize that if we do wear and tear on these kids' body now, you know they're still growing and they're going to get older and their body is going to hurt so bad because they had so much wear and tear especially the kids that play the very heavy contact sports like football, basketball, soccer their body is going to be in shambles if you don't give them the time of R&R. And we also have to make sure that we're giving them the time so that their body doesn't shut down in them. Because it's just like a car you can just drive and drive and drive and drive, and drive and drive and drive it and you never give it a rest. Guess what? Eventually it's going to shut down on you and kids' bodies are the same way. It may take a little longer than an adult to shut down, but their body is eventually going to shut down and it's going to be very, it's not going to be good, because you don't know how their body is going to shut down. And then, after their body shuts down, you don't know how long it's going to take them to recover and when they recover, you don't even know if they're going to want to get back out there, because they're like they're going to start equating.
Speaker 1:I went out here and I played this word and my body shut down and you know it, it just it's, it's, it's never, it's never worth it. And so on the days that Lorenzo gets R&R, I'm like we're going to stretch, we're going to do the massage gun and I'm starting to think about taking him to get stretched, because at one of the competitions they had a company that was there and they did stretches and after they did a stretch on him, he's like, oh my God, he's like this feels so good and I'm like maybe I should sign him up for stretching, like maybe, like once a month. I don't think he's at the level yet that he needs to get stretched like weekly or anything like that. I think once a month for him would be suffice, just to kind of keep him in good working order. He does, however, do, which one thing that he started doing it I didn't even suggest is he takes a bath, a long soak bath with Epsom salt, to kind of loosen his body up, get the soreness out, and I was like, wow, I was like that's a good idea. Then sometimes we'll just go to the gym and then I just let him sit in the hot tub. Yeah, then sometimes we'll just go to the gym and then I just let him sit in the hot tub, just kind of get that, you know like that little 15, 20 minutes in the hot tub, you know, go in the sauna, you know, stretch in the sauna, relax your muscles and different stuff like that. And so I do things to help him take care of his body, and I feel like we as parents don't do enough of that. When we think rest and relaxation, we think you just need to lay down somewhere, and it's not that it's like you kind of just like how you got to eat to keep your body together. We got to stretch and we got to do different stuff so that we can keep the body, keep the kids body together Because, like I said, they're still growing and they, their body, needs support as well.
Speaker 1:And during the off season, when there's not a lot of like during the summer, he does have a trainer outside of swim. So he does swim and he has a trainer just to kind of help his body kind of bulk up. Because you have, like, during the summer you're just training for like junior Olympicsics and then, like in september, we start back the meets again. So there's like meets 10 months out the year and then two months. You know, it's kind of go hard, like we're gonna refuel and um, rebuild, um.
Speaker 1:Right now he's on a little break, we a break. We got to go tomorrow to find out, okay, so this week, this week, we have to find out um how injured he is. He missed a big competition over this weekend, so we're going to have to find out how hurt he is, um, whether he has a ACL tour, if he has a really bad sprain or what he has going on. And so this may, so his spring season may be over with um. I'm hoping not, um. And if it's, because if it's spring season is over with, that means his junior Olympic dreams is over and this is the first year that he was supposed to go and I don't want that for my baby. Like we, we've been a cry, like, even if, if Lord forbid, is something bad and he can't go compete in junior Olympics, we're probably still going to go, gonna go just to support his team, um, and everything like that. So make sure you're giving your kids breaks and make sure you're doing make what I call maintenance on their body, whether it be massage gun, epsom salt bath, letting them sit in a hot tub, letting them go get stretched or something like that, so they can keep their body up, um, and if you don't believe me, you can go look at different documentaries about how top olympic athletes and people like that, how they have to stretch and massage and stuff like that. You're saying, well, they're not my child, okay, but we, we, we pretend over here that we, we athlete, we olympians over here. So he, in my eyes, he an olympian, so I'm gonna do what the olympians do to keep his body um, together, um.
Speaker 1:My second point and thought is speaking negatively about your child's performance and not encouraging them. I go to swim meets every weekend and I hear so many times how parents come down hard on their kids, for not, they'll be like well, you know you missed bringing your arm up by three seconds, or you know you didn't hold your stroke long enough or you didn't do this or you don't, and not saying you know good job, good job, like when, when, when Lorenzo gets done, like cause they have the parents and the kids separated, you know we'll meet outside or you know, or I'll text his phone and I'll be like good job, and I'll ask him how he think he did and he'll tell me and I'll be like okay, so how we fix that, or we'll put that on our list of stuff that you know we got to focus on, you know, and but I always tell him he did a good job. You know it get hard seeing your kid out there sometime, you know, not performing at what you feel like is their best, but I always encourage him and you know and stuff like that. And like there was one time he messed up because he said his goggles messed up and he was like I couldn't see mom and he's like that's why I missed my turn. I'm like it's okay, so we're not going to use those goggles anymore and we're going to carry on. And these are like, these are like $30 goggles. They was like uh, uh, it's like, um, what they call they call competition goggles. And I was like, well, you know you compete. And he, peeing, he said no, mom, he said them goggles are trash. Okay, the goggles are trash, we ain't gonna fine whatever. But you have to keep an open line of communication with your kids and you let them tell you your, their expectations and not the expectations that you set for him. He knows where he messed up and he don't. They kids don't need you to tell you, you to tell them you mess up on it. No, they know where they messed up and he's like so, yeah, he says, since my glass came off, he said I missed the wall. I didn't get my momentum back and he said it slowed me down. I said okay, cool. I said well, we ain't using them guys, no more, let's, let's go one thing. Um, that it gets under my skin, oh, it gets under my skin.
Speaker 1:Talking negatively about your kid and their performance in front of other kids and other adults. Oh, my God, I seen this lady tear this little girl down at a meet one time and I was just like. I felt so bad and like the little girl was crying, like the little girl was crying, crying and I was just like that is so terrible. And then she's like you know if you wouldn't do it? So I was thinking that you know you would have it. And I was just like, oh my gosh, this is so terrible. Like, oh, oh my God, I could not. I just felt so bad for for the little girl because I was like no pain, no child should be spoke to like that in general, but especially in front of their peers. Like you should never talk to your kids like that, like we have, we wait till we get in the car and we have conversations.
Speaker 1:But even when we had conversations, I'm not putting him down, I'm not being like well, you should have did this. And I'm like I package it. Like, well, if that's how you feel, well, let's work on. So, like, if you want to go to the gym, cause they the gym that we go to. They have an indoor pool. So if you want to go to the gym and you want to start working on your flip turns or you want to work on your streamline, like we can go, just like, let me know we can go. Or he can go in the backyard. We have a pool. He can go in the backyard he can work on his flip turns or you know, and different stuff like that. You know, I give my child an avenue to fix what he deems he needs to fix Not what I want him to fix, but what he feel like he needs to fix. You know, I give him that opportunity. You know, because it's like you. You self-correct Each year. We take time to reflect. Let the kids self-reflect too.
Speaker 1:And this one right here, this one gets under my skin to the T, living vicariously through your children. Okay, pushing children to play sports that you did not excel in, and you see this a lot in football and in basketball, I don't know how many times. And I seen this a lot when Lorenzo played football and I just hated being around that culture and I actually cussed out a football coach's wife one time because it's kind of like, just because your husband a coach, ma'am, don't mean that, you know, like you gotta shit on the y'all, gotta shit on the other kids just to make your kid look good, like if your kid good, your kid gonna be good. Um, you know we cannot, especially dads, you know, because dads was too busy in the streets or have you, and you know they are. I could have made it to the nfl, you know I, because dads was too busy in the streets or have you in? You know they are. I could have made it to the NFL, you know I could have been up there, okay, but you didn't.
Speaker 1:And you know y'all hype these kids up, y'all overwork these kids and um, and y'all overwork these kids because y'all are trying to live vicariously through them. Y'all are trying to live out your dreams through them and that's not okay because you're putting too much pressure on these kids, because these kids are like well, if I don't do good and I don't succeed and I don't go to the NFL, or if I don't go to the NBA or something like that, then my parent is going to be disappointed and you can't live vicariously through your kid. Your kid is not you. So their work ethic, their sportsmanship and all of that is going to be t totally completely different from what it is. You did what it is. You had letting people out there coach.
Speaker 1:Why y'all out here cussing? And why is y'all out here beefing over some kids playing football? Like why are y'all out here fighting and carrying on and like doing all of this stuff Like it's unnecessary, it's uncalled for. Like I want to say a few years ago there was like an actual shooting like one of the kid football games. Like it's not that deep, it's not that serious. Like we are adults, we should be able to control and contain our anger, you know, and what it is that we do. Like it's just unnecessary.
Speaker 1:And I'm glad that football is not one of the sports that he chose to continue to play, because I I think I might have pulled him too, because I know this is too much, because this is this is way, this way too much. It's too much for me. I just like my anxieties. And then, last but not least, you know we got our parent clicks Cause you know we got to click up with the other parents and talk about you know and and shun them and not welcome it, and I have I have. So this, this little piece of conversation, might make some of y'all uncomfortable, and that's okay. You need to be uncomfortable because this is my truth.
Speaker 1:Okay, in in the sports world, especially the world of swim, there are not a lot of black swimmers, not a lot of black boy swimmers, more girl black girl swimmers and black boy swimmers. I remember the first time he went to a competition in October. Yeah, it was October and I was there and I was sitting. I was minding my business. You know what I'm saying, because the ladies that I'm cool with that LJ used to swim with at the other place, like their kids, are younger, so the older kids typically swim in the mornings and then the young kids swim in the afternoon. So I was just sitting there chilling, you know, minding my business. You know I had my little team shirt on or whatever.
Speaker 1:And then this lady looked at me, dead in my face, dead in my face, and said so which kid is yours, ma'am? There is only one black kid out there and there is one black person in the stands me. So I just want you to do deductive reasoning and try to figure out if one thing is like the other. And she was like oh okay. She was like is he new to swimming? I'm like no, he's been swimming for five years. Oh, he has. Yes, he has. Um, I like the team that he's on.
Speaker 1:I just don't like some of the parents. Like I actually got into one of the dads and, like the mom felt real, real bad. But now it's to the point where, when she see me I don't know she be trying to speak to me I'll be like, nah, because you sit there and let your husband try to come for me and you need to say nothing. So you know, sit over there with that. You know, sit over there with that um you, because that's not what we finna do. Like y'all can have y'all parent clicks. Like just be like it's like they feel like this philosophy, white is right. Like I don't care that y'all y'all are not familiar seeing a black person swim and I'm glad it makes you uncomfortable. You know, like like he finna be here and you know he had only been there for four months and he got promoted to the next team. Like my kid finna be here and I'm sorry if you feel like my kid is a threat to yours. I mean, tell your kids that they gave up.
Speaker 1:I mean I don't, I don't know, I don't know what to tell you, but what I will tell you is I don't do the parent click thing. So anytime we have a competition, I bring a book or I um to read or I listen to an audio book or something like that. I don't, I don't got time to sit there and um play cat and whatever. Whatever, I don't got that kind of time and they be like, oh, I'm gonna follow. I'm gonna follow Lorenzo on the app so I can, uh, cheer for him when he races. I'm gonna fuck if you do, or you don't got that kind of time. And they'd be like, oh, I'm going to follow Lorenzo on the app so I can cheer for him when he races. I'm going to fuck if you do or you don't, because guess who's going to be cheering me right there. So every time I go to a swim meet, I'm going to have to start doing it.
Speaker 1:Every time I go to a swim meet, I always have a swim outfit, and my swim outfit is not like the other parents. My swim outfit does not consist of lululemons and a t-shirt. My swim outfit consists of what? Probably? A pair of jeans, some type of swim shirt and some dunks or something like that, or some fresh nikes or something like that. I don't look like these other women. I look fresh, my hair being braids, you know, I'm saying or my hair being two strand twist, or my hair being in natural curls. And I'd be like, oh my God, how did you get your hair like that? I washed it and it came out like this Like what did you put in it? Is this a perm on your hair? No, it's not a perm on my hair, it's called the hair that grew out my damn head, that's what it's called.
Speaker 1:But I can't stand parent clicks, especially me. I'm a nice person and y'all heard, y'all heard best friends say that I'm the type to get kidnapped because I'm just too friendly with everybody. I, I'm just a friendly person. I can't help that. It can't help that I'm a friendly person. But parent clicks and if you listen to this and you are in a parent click, you are mean girl or mean dad. Cut it out, okay, cut it out, because you're gonna have that one humble moment in, in, in, in, where your click gonna be. Don't, don't set the example for your kids.
Speaker 1:And then I did notice that their kids are, they kind of act like mean kids too, like especially some of the girls, like, okay, little girl, like don't get your feelings hurt because I have lorenzo, bring his sister up here. Don't get your feelings hurt, but yes. So to summarize and wrap it all up be mindful of the things that you are asking and requiring of your kids and I don't want to hear that I don't require anything of them, that I wouldn't do for myself. Okay, but you didn't. So you know you didn't do it. Let these kids blaze their own path.
Speaker 1:Like you don't want to be the parent that they talking about when, when the sports anchors start interviewing your kid. In the future, you don't want to be what my mama didn't. You don't want to be that parent. I want my kid to go and I'll be like my mama supported me. My mama was there. Like my mama used to get up at four o'clock in the morning and drive me to my competitions. That was an hour away. Okay, like them, like my mama did that. My mama did not pressure me. My mama encouraged me. That's what I want to hear my kids say. And he gonna say that and just like with um, with Marco Polo, I want him to be like. I had an audition and my mama got on a flight after she had worked all day and flew to New York City just to be there one day for my audition. That's what I want to hear my kids say. Not, though, my mama was a mean girl and my mama didn't let me have a social life and stuff like that. Nah, that ain't me, that ain't me at all.
Speaker 1:All right, so we've come to the favorite part of the show, the song lyric of the week. I don't have a, you can't make this up, do I have it? I don't have a, you can't make this up. I haven't had a, you can't make this up. For the last few times, oh my, you know what I should have used the point. You know what? That's my, you can't make this up. We went to that one swim meet and then we went to another swim meet and somebody asked me like dude, wholeheartedly, what he's like? Are you here supporting, or you have a kid that swims? It's one black kid and there's one black person like, make it make sense. But I'll be like no, my kid's right there. And they're like, oh, my god, you know, and it just, it just be a mess. I just feel like okay, because, because I would be wrong if I asked you which kid was yours you know I'm saying like that just would be wrong um, but yeah, so we have our song lyric of the week and I felt like this was just a good one because it makes sense. Um, and I've been a kid once and you know, now I'm a parent, so I felt that this song was only appropriate for this week. So the song lyric of the week is Will Smith. Parents just don't understand.
Speaker 1:Thank y'all for tuning in. If you have not already. Please go like us on social media, on Instagram and Facebook, at the Gag Is Pod. It's also the same handle on YouTube as well, the Gagispod. It's also the same handle on YouTube as well, thegagispod. And make sure you are hitting that little plus or little sign in the top corner so that you can make sure that you are getting every new episode when it's released. I am your girl, charlee Chante. This is the Gag Is Pod. Bye, guys.
