First Impressions Start Young: Building Character Through Courtesy

Manners matter, and I've noticed an alarming decline in basic courtesy among children today, creating challenges for both adults and other kids who interact with them.

• Children as young as five or six showing shocking disrespect to adults and peers
• Parents often defend or deny their children's behavior instead of correcting it
• Children should display good manners consistently, not just when parents are present
• First impressions based on manners can open or close doors of opportunity
• Even talented kids get overlooked when they display toxic attitudes
• Teaching basic respect like "please" and "thank you" should be non-negotiable
• A stranger once gave my son money simply because he displayed good manners
• Summer break is the perfect time to have conversations about respect before school starts
• Children are a direct reflection of their parents' values and teaching
• It takes a village to create positive environments where children learn respect

Please make sure you are following the podcast wherever you listen, and follow us on Instagram and YouTube at TheGagIsPod. If you're interested in collaborating or being featured on the show, email me at thegagispod@gmail.com.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome & Weekly Intro
• 3:20 The Disappearance of Children's Manners
• 10:25 Accountability in Parenting
• 16:07 Respect Opens Doors for Kids
• 20:16 Call for Better Parenting
• 22:54 Song Lyric & Episode Wrap-Up

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:35

Hi guys, welcome back to the Gaggans Pod. I am your girl, chale Shante. Thank you for joining me on another episode, and you know what I always say if you're listening to this, then it's a new episode and it must be a Friday, but nonetheless, whatever day you're listening to, this is perfectly fine. Oh my gosh, if you have not already before we jump, jump into this. Please make sure you are following us. Please make sure you are following us wherever you listen to your podcast. That way, when a new episode comes out, you'll be one of the first to get it. It'll be already there. These episodes release at 5 am on friday mornings, so it'll already be there when you scroll down on your little notifications that you missed overnight or whatever. They're going to be there, so all you got to do is just play it when you're on your way to work or you're getting ready. What have you? Make sure you're following us on IG, at TheGagIsPod, youtube as well. So happy Friday to you guys.

Speaker 1: 1:36

Oh, I almost forgot the most important part. Let's jump right into this. Go ahead and grab your snack, grab your drink or whatever you do while you listen to this, so we can go ahead and jump into this thing and get started. I don't know how long or how short this is going to be because, like I tell y'all and y'all probably get tired of hearing me say this I always have my episodes planned out, like I already have them list out, whatever, whatever. But when some, sometimes, things haven't spurred a moment and I'll be like, oh my God, that would make such a good episode, like it will make such a good episode. And so today, that's what's going to happen because I noticed something in the summertime. That's what's going to happen because I noticed something in the summertime Kids are out of school, parents are working, you know, and there's just a lot of free time going on.

Speaker 1: 2:30

And you know, a lot of kids are in summer camp or, you know, age dependent, they're staying home or they may be working a summer job or babysitting their siblings, or something like that job, or babysitting their siblings, or something like that. And you know, manners, manners matter. We only a few weeks into the summer, and one thing that has struck me, and it's very, very irritating, is kids don't have manners. I mean, they don't have manners for other kids, they don't have manners for themselves, they damn sure don't have manners for adults. Okay, and I just want to talk about manners. And this is not to come for anybody's parenting style or anything like that or how you raise your kids. I don't judge people how to raise their kids. Everybody raise their kids differently, you know, to each his own, okay.

Speaker 1: 3:34

But manners, and typically you know, when I was growing up, you would see kids who try to get mouthy or, you know, try to talk back to adults or, you know, be rude and not have manners for other people and just like that it would be nipped in the bud. The parent be like. You know you're not going to do this. Your child, get disciplined, get a whooping, whatever. But now I see, like little kids, like kids like, um, maybe five, six, and they are so disrespectful they don't know how to say thank you, they don't know how to say yes, ma'am, no, ma'am, yes, sir, no, sir. They don't know how to be polite at all. And I want to know how did we get here? How did we get to the point of manners?

Speaker 1: 4:37

For example, I went and grabbed something to eat earlier before I started recording for me and the fam and I'll pull up. Typically when you go to a place, they're like thank you for choosing such and such. Go ahead and take a look at the menu. Let me know if there's anything you have questions about. Now pull up to the place and it's like can help you. Uh, do you know what you want? Huh, excuse me, like no type of manners. And then you order and then you drive around to the window, you pay your money, you give me your money and then you ask the question excuse me, um, do you mind if I get a packet of ketchup? Huh, like, what?

Speaker 1: 5:21

Like, where has the disconnect between manners and children? Like, do we not teach this as parents anymore? Like, do we not have standards for our kids anymore? Like, are you OK with the way your kids talk and the way you act? Then you could say oh well, you know, I told them that they shouldn't say that. Or I taught them manners and you know they don't act like that when they're in front of me. Well, is the expectation that they're only supposed to act like that when they're with you? Like you don't feel no type of way that they act out when they're not with you? Because I've always been told growing up that I am a direct reflection of my parents and if I don't have manners and different things like that. That's a reflection of my parents and I wholeheartedly agree with that. I'm not saying that your kid got to be dressed right dress or anything like that. That's a reflection of my parents and I wholeheartedly agree with that. I'm not saying that your kid got to be dressed right dress or anything like that, but basic, yes, ma'am, no ma'am, um.

Speaker 1: 6:26

Like we shouldn't have like little kids calling people B words, calling them slur words and other derogatory words, because you know we can say, you know well, they see that around them. You know they see it on social media. Are you not filtering what your child is engaging in? I just have so many questions, so many questions. I mean you know kids don't say excuse me, and my biggest pet peeve is when kids treat other kids bad. I hate that. Like.

Speaker 1: 7:08

I feel like as parents, we have to teach our kids that it's OK to be nice to other people. Bullying is not OK, being mean to people is not okay. And you could say oh, what is new generation assault? No, there's a fine line between you know bullying and you know just being downright disrespectful and you know playful banter. You know like back in the day we used to talk about like shut up big head. And now they saying stuff that I'm not even going to repeat on this podcast, even though I'm grown and good. I'm not going to subject y'all to that, but they should not be saying things like that.

Speaker 1: 7:53

And then when someone comes and tells you that your child is speaking like this, why are you getting offended? Why would you say my child say stuff like that? Why can you as a parent not say, oh wow, I didn't understand, I didn't know that. You know, my child spoke like that. You know I have a conversation with them to let them know that that's not okay, that's not appropriate.

Speaker 1: 8:21

And even when it comes to kids, you know adults I've seen kids cuss out adults and tell them that they can't tell them what the F to do and different stuff like that. You know, why are we teaching? Well, I'm not going to say we're teaching because we're not teaching. You know what? I don't know what you're teaching at home or not. So I can't even sit here and say that when we see, when you see your child speaking like that to other adults, why is there not immediate correction? There should be immediate correction because guess what? You can't go out into the world talking to people like that. You can't go on people's job talking like that. You can't go out in society and talk like that and think that it's okay, like there's not going to be repercussions for that. We should teach our kids that language and first impressions because you could, your kid could, be like I want to be a singer one day. But then you know they go somewhere and you know somebody bumps them and they be like you know, you watch where you're going, oh, stupid ass. Or something like that, not knowing that they just bumped into a music exec and that's their first impression of that person. Oh wow. So I'm not going to want to deal with somebody who comes off as rude, disrespectful and stuff like that.

Speaker 1: 9:52

One thing I pride myself in is my kids have manners. Everywhere I go I'm always told. Even when Manchild was younger, I used to always get told how memorable he was and now I always get told how memorable New Face is Like. At his swim club one of the dads was like you know, I really appreciate Lorenzo. He's very respectable young man because I hear some of the way the other boys, you know, converse and talk to my child and you know, your child, your you know to my child and you know your child, your son, has never talked to her like that and, if anything, your child has encouraged her and he's always respectful to her. You know, and I think you do an amazing job as a parent, like I'm a single parent and it's he's a direct reflection of me, you know. So I don't want people to be like, oh, her son rude, I'm not teaching him that. I'm teaching him how to be a upstanding, outstanding young man, someone with morals. And you know he he's opinionated and he has his opinion. He has his right to have his opinion, but he's also respectable to children alike, people his age and, most importantly, adults.

Speaker 1: 11:05

I've seen so many videos online where kids are trying to fight adults. Kids are cussing at adults, but then the minute they have to suffer an adult consequence, can I call my mama? Can I call my mama Please? I didn't mean it, I'm sorry. Can you let me go? They think that they can cry their way out of it. I just want parents to start taking accountability for the actions of their children. The actions of their children, okay, because if somebody come up to me and tell me new face, say anything out of pocket. It's finna be up. It's finna be some smoke in the city, because that is not right, it's not nice, it's not correct, it's not cool.

Speaker 1: 12:00

First impressions are everything, and being nice and being polite to someone goes a long way, because, think about it, it's always not what you know, it's who you know, and so kids alike. Kids could be in something and be like oh, I know this one kid. He's really, really cool, he has a positive attitude and different stuff like that. I overheard some talking the other day and they were like such and such kid is good at sports, but just because he's good at sports, I may not want said child on my team, because said child is toxic for my team. And a lot of times we don't think about that. You know our, our kids. You know we could say that they're product of their environment and they're only doing what they're saying. That is true. So if that's the case, why can we not change the environment? Why can we not change what they see and how they see it? Because I see it all the time and I hear stories all the time where little Johnny is the dopest soccer player, but Lil Johnny be cussing his parents out, lil Johnny be hitting folks, but out there on the field Lil Johnny is a star, but Lil Johnny not going to get far because Lil Johnny attitude is messed up and Lil Johnny ain't got no respect for nobody, nobody at all.

Speaker 1: 13:40

We all got to have respect for somebody and at some point we all get mad and there's things that we want to say, and you know different stuff like that. But respect goes a long way and I've had to. I learned that early on that respect goes a long way and I knew that when I became a parent that I was going to instill in on that respect goes a long way and I knew that when I became a parent that I was going to instill in my children that respect goes a long way. Respect can go further than what you know. I just want to encourage parents to the best of your ability because y'all are going to add me, y'all going to comfort me, y'all going to be like well, I can't do this because I work six jobs and I don't want to hear the excuses, because my mama worked two jobs and still made sure I had manners. Me and my brothers had manners. There's no excuse and it's the summertime and it's the perfect time for parents to sit down with their children, have conversations with their children before the new school year starts about manners and respect.

Speaker 1: 14:54

I hear so many stories from the school about how kids treat other kids to school, about how kids treat other kids, and then when said kid gets in trouble for it, the parents are in just disbelief. I used to work at a school. I know how it goes. And then when teachers start telling me about my kid I know my kid, I wasn't in denial. They're like Lorenzo talk a lot, he is mama child, but Lorenzo is respectable, so there was some correction involved. Parents, we just got to ensure that we are teaching our kids manners and respect.

Speaker 1: 15:37

I can't stand when I'm out in public and kids is I just it just drives me crazy, especially to be rude to me because I be want to tell them one thing or two. It drives me crazy, especially they be rude to me because I be wanting to tell them one thing or two. And sometimes I just be like I just want to be like go get your mama, go get your auntie, go get somebody that's on the same level playing field with me. Ok, because you, a child, stay in a child's place Like that. Stay in a child's place OK, because I wish I could be in a child's place. Okay, cause I wish I could be in a child's place. Okay, but I'm not. I'm in an adult place and I got bills and it's real ghetto.

Speaker 1: 16:15

But parents, guardians, others, role models, figures it take a village Okay, it takes a village and it takes a village to create positivity for kids. You know, you, you auntie, you uncle or something like you know, let's help foster a positive relationship, you know, with these youth, because manners is going to get you far. Going to get you far, it's going to get you far, sure, it's going to get you far. So my ask is just sit down and have a conversation and explain to your children that manners and respect go a long way. You know, not saying you have to be like a kiss up or stuck up or be fake, but manners go a long way. We were, where were we at? We were somewhere one day and New Face was like I'm sorry, sir, that I bumped you. He's like, please excuse me. And the man actually gave him some money because he said it's been so long since I've heard a kid with manners and he's like thank you, and I'm like man, man, man. If I didn't instill in my children what I had instilled in me, that's not, nope, not going to do it. So that's my take for that. That's what's on my heart this week, you know, teaching these kids manners, you know, because I want the babies to go far, I want them to go places in life. So, you know, manners, manners. It is now for this week's. Well, I ain't going to say it's a, you can't make this up. I'll say we'll call it. Yeah, we call it. We can't call it a, you can't make this up.

Speaker 1: 18:40

New Face is teething and he hates when I say that, but he's teething Because, bro, you 15, why are you still getting more teeth? Um, my baby boy is getting his wisdom teeth and now he has to go have his wisdom teeth pulled because they are impacting his up teeth. And I'm like, bro, you too big to be teething. And even though he's in pain, it ain't stopped him from talking like that boy's still going a mile a minute. I was like, oh, yes, his teeth hurt, he's gone. Oh, he's gonna be quiet. No, I think he talked more now and then he'd be like, can I get some medicine? And I'm like, oh lord, I hope this medicine make him go to sleep, because if he go to sleep he can't do all this talking. But the Tylenol don't do that. It just keep hyping him up and he be in my face just just cheesing on like I thought your teeth hurt, like your teeth in here doing the shoulder lean against each other like go sit down somewhere, bro, oh my god. So that brings us to the end of the episode.

Speaker 1: 19:46

Before we get up out of here, we got to do our song lyric of the week and I think last week or the week before that I forgot to do it. But my bad. So my song lyric of the week is going to be Burning Blue by Mariah the Scientist. Like this song has me in the inevitable chokehold, like that is on repeat. Like she got bangers, this is a new banger for her. So Burning Blue by Mariah the scientist is my song lyric of the week Again, if you have not already, please make sure you are liking these episodes.

Speaker 1: 20:25

You are sharing these episodes. Make sure, whatever platform that you listen to these on, you are sharing these episodes. Make sure, whatever platform that you listen to these on, you are following me on there as well. Please make sure you're leaving reviews too, so that other people can see that this is a legit podcast and we have fun over here. We talk parenting and we talk self-care.

Speaker 1: 20:43

All right, make sure you follow us on IG at the gag is pot, and that is on YouTube as well. I have tons of videos uploaded to YouTube, so I think that I'm going to spend some time, just since I'm doing on this weekend, I'm going to spend some time working on those and getting those loaded. And, last but not least, if you're ever interested in doing a collaboration or being featured on the show or any anything of that aspect, you just want to work and you want to holler at your girl. You want to work with your girl. Please shoot me an email at thegagispod at gmailcom and we'll see if we can make that happen. Until next week, I am your girl, charlie Shante. This is the Gag Is podcast. Bye, guys.