The Gag is… Podcast

School-Year Family Time, Simplified

• Charli Shanta

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We share simple, real ways to build quality family time during the school year—car chats with the radio off, no-phone dinners, and small rituals that help kids feel seen. From pumpkin nights to pool dares to a heart-racing driving lesson, we show how micro moments add up.

• why quality beats quantity for family time
• car conversations as a safe space
• dinner as a no‑tech zone with Jeopardy
• easy traditions like pumpkin painting and food bars
• simple games over long, draining ones
• mixing spontaneity with consistency
• easing test season stress with warmth and humor
• visible calendars and kid input for buy‑in
• giving yourself grace when weeks are heavy
• the teen driving story that became family lore

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SPEAKER_00:

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the Gaggas Pod. I am your girl Charlie Shantae. Thank you for joining me on another episode. And like I always say, if this is a new episode, then that must mean it's Friday. And even if you're listening to this on a different day, I appreciate you. So before we get started, make sure you like, share, and you subscribe. And make sure wherever you're listening to me on your favorite podcast now, you are hitting that notification bell. There's probably a little plus sign up there. So that when a new episode is released, you are one of the first to know, and it's already there. So all you gotta do is hit play. Alright. And like I always say, grab your drink, um, grab your snack or whatever it is you do when you listen to this episode, and we're gonna go ahead and jump into today's episode. So today's episode, I I, you know, I know y'all like those good heartfelt episodes, you know, when I talk about family and parenting and the kids and stuff like that. So I felt like you know what I'm saying, we're getting into the fall month, you know, toward the end of the year, halfway through the school year. So, what better topic than to talk about than spending time with your family during the busy and chaotic school year? I know personally, crazy, crazy, crazy. From the time I get off from work, uh, I don't get home till like eight, nine o'clock at night. Um, and it's just like go, go, go, go, go. On the weekends, it's just like go, go, go, go, go. And it's like you can never slow down. And it's like, if we never slowing down, then how can we get that quality family time in with our kids? Well, we're gonna talk about that today, okay? So um, you know, one of the things with family time that I feel like matters with family time is, you know, it helps you feel connected with your kids kind of like. Um, you know, they feel they feel emotionally okay, you feel emotionally okay, you can, you know, have conversations, you can talk and you know, kind of vibe because when let's let's let's all face it. When you're busy, you just in the car and you typically listen to the music. What I do when I'm in a car with New Face, we have conversations. He can bring a book, or I'll turn the radio off and we'll have conversations. We'll talk about his day, we'll talk about my day, we'll talk about whatever it is we want to talk about, and so it just helps us to communicate better, you know, it creates stronger communication, you know, to let her know like this is a safe space. You can talk to me about whatever it is that you want, you know, and there's just no judgment. And I know after I've had a long day, that boy be telling me some stories, and I'd be like, you know what, y'all be at that school crash now every day, and I'm here for these stories, I'm here for the high school drama. Do you know how much drama they got in high school? Talk to a high school kid, you'll be like, Oh my god, this is better than your average soul popper, better than any play you finna see, okay, because you can't make this up and remind you, these kids is uh 14 to 18, okay? It's like y'all got that kind of drama already. But I'll be here for it because I need to know why David and Jessica broke up, you know. Like, what is going on here? All because uh Jessica gave uh Zach a eraser because he he needed to erase it get deep like that, and I'll be laughing because it'd be funny, and I'll be like, oh boy, boy, boy. They just don't know that it get it it it it yeah and and you know bonding and you know spending time together, it often um, you know, it's not about the number of times that we spend together because you you do want to spend every day with your kids and you know bond with them, but you want to make sure when you're spending time with them that it is quality time and not quantity time, not you're listening to your kid and you're on your phone, but you actually like we hear, like I hear you, I see you, I'm present. You know, when I when I'm talking to my kids, I try to make sure I'm present, unless I'm sitting on the couch having my quiet time and they come in and they start talking to me because I'm not finna put my game down. Could y'all say I'm in my personal time and y'all? But other than that, I didn't give y'all y'all time, I done told y'all what it is. So, like, why why are you here? Like, why are you here? We've had our conversation time. Why are you here? Um, so you know, every moment counts. So you have what you can call micro moments, and what I mean by micro moments is like having dinner together, even in a sh even if it's a short period of time, 30 minutes. So, one thing we used to do before um New Faces Swim went long was I would cook and then we would sit down and then we would watch Jeopardy. Um, Jeopardy, where we live, comes on at 7:30. We would get our food, sit down, and watch Jeopardy, and you know, we would answer the questions, we would eat our food, and that's just kind of what we did. That was kind of like our dinner time routine. Like I said, now New Face is has a new swim schedule, and that isn't as feasible um anymore, but you know, we we try to still talk. Like now we've moved from Jeopardy to talking while the boys are doing the dishes. You know, it you're like, what are they doing? Chores and talk to him, yeah. Like we still gonna kiki um a little bit, you know what I'm saying? And I mean, chit-chatting is chit-chatting to me. I mean, that's how I look at it. Uh, and you know, bedtime routines. So let me tell y'all, New Face is my big baby at heart, and that boy there, mmm, he loves he mama bad. So his nighttime routine is he gonna go take a shower and then he gonna come tell me goodnight three times before he actually gets in the bed to go to bed. He's gonna come three times and he be like, This time number one, this time number two, this time number three, or he'll tell me a time one, a time two. I'm tired, mom, so I'm probably not gonna be no time two, or it ain't gonna be no time three because I'm gonna go lay down after this. And I'll be like, okay, cool. And so typically when he do that, that's my cue to get lead aloft and go get in my bed. I'm like, okay, he he down for the count, so let me go in my room and uh get in my bed as well. Because if you sleepy, I'm sleepy too. So I mean, let's just go to sleep. And you know, I actually got a script today, y'all. Ain't y'all proud of me? And uh our the next little segment, see, I be having it so together that it be confusing me. Like, I kind of prefer doing episodes off the dome for y'all. Um, but I be trying to like make the episodes longer, so I'll be trying to create a script. Sometimes it be working and sometimes it don't be working. So if it sounds like I'm a little scattered, I'm just trying to read off my script a little bit. Um, but uh family rituals and traditions. Um, we used to have a movie night and a game night when it be in October right now. Um, this month we always have a yearly pumpkin painting and pumpkin cutting. So that's gonna be coming up in a couple of weeks. And I'll normally do food that I think what do they want this year? I think they want a potato bar this year, but I do know I gotta make some queso. Queso has been requested, so it's either gonna be potatoes and nachos or Malia asked me to do some other kind of uh because I'm I'm good for doing like a bar, making taking something plain and then just making um making toppings for it. I can't remember what she asked me. I know I'm gonna do nachos and baked potatoes. I can't remember what the other thing is uh that she asked me for, but uh whatever it is, I'ma do it. Uh, and we're gonna have fun doing it. And when we do that, that's just our time to like kiki. You know, we might turn on some music, we might watch a movie or loosely watch a movie. Um, but we're gonna paint, they're gonna do their pumpkins, and you know, we just gonna have a good time. You know, it's a good Friday night. Um, it's just always a good time with my kids. It's the little things, you know. We might play a couple of games or something like that. With them, it is literally just the little things. Like the uh New Face and Malia started the pumpkin carving um tradition. So we just keep it, we just keep it going and going and going and going. Um, but this year it's gonna be a little bit bigger, a little bit better. Um, and you know, consistency matters, so don't be like, okay, we're gonna have to play a game tonight, and then you don't play a game on a Friday night for the next uh four Fridays. So what I do, we have simple games, we have cards, we play goldfish, we play little simple card games, we have checkers, um, we I think we have trouble, you know, just quick little simple games. One of the games we do not play in this house is Monopoly, because that game takes way, way, way, way too long, and I be getting bored. Um, we play Connect 4 or um we'll play Cornhole. Um, we'll just do something fun, um, just as simple as that. Darts. Just simple, just simple, simple little stuff. Um, sometimes for Family Night, if we're doing an outside family night, we'll go to top golf, we'll go to main event, uh, you know, just some Dave and Busters or something just as simple as that. We'll go down the channel side and walk around, just something simple, just the most simplest thing ever. Because I mean, it's the little bit that count up. You don't have to do something grand, you don't always have to go to Disney, you don't have to go to Universal, you don't have to fly somewhere, you don't have to go on a vacation, but just it's just the little things. I know when New Face was younger, we did used to get the after 4 p.m. passes for Disney. Um, and we used to go like on random days during the week and just go to Disney, be like, oh, we're gonna go Disney this week or today, or you know, we're gonna go to Universal. Like we had Disney and Universal, then we had SeaWorld too. So we would just take turns going to different places. You know, I go pick up Leah, and you know, we just all jump in the car, like no rhyme or reason. It wasn't planned out. I felt like it today, so we just gonna go. Like, that's just what it is. Like, no, no rhyme and reason. I'll be like, all right, Nick, I'm gonna go pick up Malia and uh and Jay from schools, and we finna slide and go to Disney. She'll be home later. She'll be like, okay, girl, like, whatever. Um, you know, just do stuff to make it fun because kids thrive on consistency. Um, I know if I do something and it's out the ordinary, like I start something and then I don't keep it up, New Face be like, so we're not gonna do this no more, we're not gonna do that no more. He holds me accountable. So you gotta make sure consistency, you're being consistent with your child um at all times, regardless of what you do. You know, make do the same thing. You can switch it up, be variety with it, you know, just so they don't get bored. Just make it fun. Um, when we have family activities, I make sure I involve the kids. I'll be like, what y'all want to do? I never just solely pick. I want my kids to know that I listen to them and they are hurt. I'll be like, What activities y'all want to do? Even sometimes we'll cook as an activity. My kids love to eat, and so you know, hey, let's cook, let's cook up a dish, or let me show you how to do this, or uh how to do that, or we'll even do a declutter day, and I'll be like, you take this, you take this, and I'm gonna take this. And we'll we'll have a like a declutter night, and the things that we find, I'm like, where did that come from? So it doesn't always have to be something extravagant because who would know decluttering? Who would have thought? Who would have thought that that would have been fun? But you never know what you're going to find, and when you find stuff, it brings up old memories, old fun memories. You be like, oh my god, you remember? Like right now, we're in a phase that we be finding all kinds of stuff, and I'll be like, Oh my god, that is a COVID purchase. What was we thinking buying this? Or oh my gosh, like, why did we buy this? Like, how many times did we use it? Or we were just literally just out here buying stuff during COVID. I'm like, oh my gosh. So when I be looking at some of that stuff, I'd be like, I really spent my money on that, like, oh my god, like I was just out here just buying stuff. Uh another thing that we do sometimes is we'll watch a movie um or we'll watch like a TV show. Like um, we'll watch the baking shows. New Face likes the baking shows, so we'll watch the baking show sometime, or sometimes we'll just sit down and we'll read, or we'll watch National Geographics. Everything out the extraordinary, we're gonna do. Be like, you watching yes, we all we like to learn around here because we'll see something on National NetGo and we'll be like, Oh, well, maybe we need to go see that, or maybe we need to go do that. Always fun, it is never a dull moment in this house. I mean, not never, like we be serious sometime, but 99% of the time, it's all shits and giggles. But that one percent, you know, we be we be a little serious, you know, here and there. Um, but more times than likely because I want my kids to have like a nice fun environment. I don't want it to be, I don't want it to feel like a boot camp, I don't want it to feel like Uber strict, I don't want it to feel like they can't have a childhood. I don't want it to feel like uptight, I want it to be nice and warm and welcoming and whatever makes them feel comfortable within a certain limit. But my kids don't do nothing extreme. The most extreme thing they got going right now, when you turn the lights on in the hallway, uh they change colors before they turn the white. That is the most extreme thing, and they just get a kick. And I think it's been like that for like since COVID. COVID purchase, and we change all the lights in the hallway, up and down the hallway. So when you turn the light on, it flicks through all the colors before it turns white. Gotta let kids be kids. It's within reason. You you you only get one childhood, and I want to ensure that um my kids have the most amazingness childhood. Be like mom made sure we never did the same thing over and over. We good. Like we got to explore, we got to do stuff. Um I remember when we got our pool built, it was done in February, and although we had a heater on it, the heater didn't get the heater, it wasn't on and it wasn't heating the pool enough. So, as cold as it was in February, we all just took a plunge because we were super excited that the pool was done. So we do like little stuff like that. We'll do little dares uh uh in the pool because it has lights, so we can do stuff at night. We just have so much random fun. Like I said, we never plan our fun, the fun just finds us, and we're like, oh, okay, like, yeah, like we can do this, we can roll with it. So much fun. I think it turns out way, way, way better. Like, we'll pay like a cup pong, or just the list goes on and on and on. We make up stuff to do. I remember one time I had them have cups and they had to blow it off the edge of the table, and it was like just silly stuff like that. Um, I mean, you just gotta have fun um with your kids, especially during the school year because they're already in school, they're testing, and you know, they have homework. I know it's like um fall testing season. Newface had the PSAT this week. I think he says he had some little other tests going, they have the benchmark test. So if I can make things a little bit easier and a little less uptight, I try my best uh to do that just to ensure things is good and things are smooth. And like I said, it helps me too because I like being funny, I like being silly, and I like laughing with the kids. So anytime that I can hang with them and they make them laugh and then they make me laugh, it's a very good day uh for me. Um, we do have a time where, well, during dinner, I don't allow cell phones, like no electronics during dinner. Like we need to sit down, we need to talk to each other. Like I said, we usually watch Jeopardy or different other little stuff, but typically it's a no-tech zone unless like we're eating and then like the weather is bad or something like that, and we're like keeping up with the weather. But other than that, dinner time is a no phone time. Um, but you know, if we just hanging out on the couch, we're watching movies, watching TV, then you know, by all means, uh, New Face only gets phone time on the weekends. Um, he doesn't get it during the week because he has practice and he has homework, and so we want to make sure we're prioritizing homework and he's not getting distracted by other things. Um, a couple things that I've seen people do um to help stay on track and to make sure that they are spending time with their family and they're getting good family time is putting it on your calendar. It sounds silly, but a lot of people are visual and they look at the calendar, they're like, oh, okay, like we have family time scheduled for tomorrow, and we're going to see a movie. Simple as that. I have a calendar in my room and I write it down so the kids can easily come in there and see what's on the calendar if we have something on the calendar to do or etc. Um, like I said, I focus on being present. I try to make sure I am as present as possible. And if I if New Face starts talking, I feel like he's gonna be a while, and he interrupts me during my personal time. I'll put my phone down because I play my little game, I'll put my phone or my tablet down and I'll listen to him because I want him to be heard, I don't want him to feel like he's just talking and I'm not listening. I want him to feel heard, so I make sure that I am present. Um, I'm not perfect, not by any stretch of imagination, I'm not perfect, but I do want him to be heard and I am make sure that I am very present and aware. Just like when he goes to swim practice, I am there, I am present, I am aware. So every time he finishes swimming or he gets from one end to the next, he always looks over at me. And when he looks up, I always ensure that we lock eyes so that he knows that mom is present, mom is here. One thing, this one I need to practice more because I don't do it enough. I don't give myself enough grace when it comes to parenting. I feel like everything's gotta be dressed right dress, everything's gotta be in tip top order. I don't like, I don't like unstructured. And even though I don't like unstructured, I gotta be able to give myself grace because although I want to have a family time, extravagant family time every weekend, I know that that's not possible. And I need to give myself a little bit of grace because every week is different, not all weeks are the same. Gotta give myself grace because it's okay to be tired. If I don't have any energy to give, how can I give energy to them and having fun and engaging with them? I can't if I'm if if I'm tired. So I make sure that I am present, I make sure that I am resting, and I make sure that I can give them my undivided full attention during our family time and whatever activity we may or may not be doing. Last but not least, you can't make this up. So for my you can't make this up, new face is learning how to drive. And his car had to get the car that he's gonna get had to get clean because the dog pooped in the car. So I let him drive my car, I have a bins, I let him drive my car and I take him over to the little neighborhood. And I was like, okay, he's doing good. So the first day he did really well, and I was like, oh my God, he's catching on real quick. So the second day we go out there, and I was like, All right, do the same thing you did yesterday because you did so good. Now, this boy drives my car, so I gotta be present. And I people be like, Oh my god, you are so patient. How do you do it? I said, I have God and Geico, so I'm gonna be good. So he was going, he was turning, and then all of a sudden, my boy drifted in the bends through a corner. I'm like, What are you doing? And then he was like, What you mean? And then when he said, What you mean, he took his hands off the wheel by pushing the gas. He said, What you mean? We done drifted over. Now they don't have any houses, so it's just like a curbeless street, and then there's like a little mound of dirt. My boy didn't drift it all. I was like, and I had to grab the wheel, and I was like, I had to swing that thing back. I said, He's like, What? I was like, first of all, Jesus is not taking the wheel, so put your hands back on the wheel. Let's slow down, let's reset. I looked at my watch, I don't understand how my heart rate wasn't up. My heart rate was like 72. I was like, it feels like it's on 172. Because the body, do you understand what just happened? Because I know what happened. Do you not understand what happened? So um, I said I need to make his drive and him learning how to drive. I need to make that into a like a miniature vlog or something, because baby, it ain't for the week. And he's like, Mom, can I drive such and such? Can such and such drive with me? And I'll be like, and then I'll be like, You gotta go ask them. I ain't speaking for nobody because I don't know if they want this stress today, like, but go ahead. You can't use my car, you gotta use their car, but go ahead. Run along. Um, so that is my you can't make this story up. That is my story for the week. So just remember, you know, when it comes to parenting and spending time during the school year, even the small moments add up because four quarters still equal a dollar, correct? All right, so it's the small things, you gotta take it piece by piece by piece. You don't eat a pizza whole, you eat it slice by slice. So just the small things, um, they add up. And yeah, so that's that's my appearance episode for the week. Yay! And remember, if you have not already, please make sure you are liking, sharing, and subscribing. Please make sure you are following us on YouTube at the gag is pod. And that is the same handle on Instagram as well and on TikTok, The Gag is Pod. Make sure you're liking it so that every um on your favorite podcast and out so that every time a new episode is released, you'll be one of the first to get it. Episodes in the video form are released on Saturday. So make sure you, after you listen to this, you go over there on Saturday and you watch this in the flesh so you can see me and I can see you. And yeah, until next time, I am your girl Charlie Shantae. This is the Gag is Pod. Bye guys.

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Charlie Shanta

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