Work It Like A Mum
Work It Like A Mum
How To Make Your Career Pivot Work For You
This week, I’m joined by Paula Stillman, Head of HR at Oxera — one of our favourite clients and long-time supporters of flexible and part-time working. Paula shares her career journey from retail to HR, how she found her calling in people and culture, and why she's so passionate about making the workplace more inclusive and adaptable for working parents.
🗂️ What We Cover:
- Paula’s unconventional path from pharmacy retail to HR leadership
- The emotional toll and growth from managing challenging people situations
- How she found purpose and alignment working at Oxera
- The evolution of Oxera from a 50-person office to a 300+ strong international firm
- Why flexible and part-time work needs more champions in leadership
- Building a values-led career that grows with you
- How Oxera creates a culture of longevity, learning and returners
💡 Key Takeaways:
Non-linear careers are often the most fulfilling. Paula’s path proves you don’t need a degree or a traditional route to thrive in leadership.
Kindness and fairness belong at every level of HR. Even tough conversations can be handled with empathy.
Culture comes from values and from people who live them. Oxera’s success is tied to its commitment to collaboration, integrity, and long-term growth.
Flexible work isn’t a perk, it’s a business advantage. Creating room for part-time roles and career returners builds better teams.
Long tenures start with opportunity. When people are given space to grow, they stay and thrive.
Whether you're early in your career or navigating leadership, this conversation is a powerful reminder that it’s never too late to pivot — and that purpose and flexibility can (and should) coexist.
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Hey, I'm Elizabeth Willits and I'm obsessed with helping as many women as possible achieve their boldest dreams after kids and helping you to navigate this messy and magical season of life. I'm a working mum with over 17 years of recruitment experience and I'm the founder of the Investing in Women job board and community. In this show, I'm honoured to be chatting with remarkable women redefining our working world across all areas of business. They'll share their secrets on how they've achieved extraordinary success after children, set boundaries and balance, the challenges they've faced and how they've overcome them to define their own versions of success. Shy away from the real talk? No way. Money struggles, growth, loss, boundaries and balance we cover it all. Think of this as coffee with your mates, mixed with an inspiring TED Talk sprinkled with the career advice you wish you'd really had at school. So grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, make sure you're cosy and get ready to get inspired and chase your boldest dreams, or just survive Mondays. This is the Work it Like A Mum podcast. This episode is brought to you by Investing in Women. Investing in Women is a job board and recruitment agency helping you find your dream part-time or flexible job with the UK's most family-friendly and forward-thinking employers. Their site can help you find a professional and rewarding job that works for you. They're proud to partner with the UK's most family-friendly employers across a range of professional industries, ready to find your perfect job. Search their website at investinginwomencouk to find your next part-time or flexible job opportunity.
Speaker 1:Now back to the show. Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the work. It like a mom podcast. Today I am chatting with paula stillman, who is the head of HR at Oxera, which is one of our favourite clients. They've recruited through investing in women a lot over the past few years and Paula has been such a champion of part-time and flexible work, so I couldn't wait to get her on our podcast, get her thoughts on why it's so important to champion part-time and flexible work and also learn a little bit more about Paula and her career history as well. Thank you so much, paula, for chatting with me today. It's really exciting to meet you properly and really have a really, really good chat with you, because I know we've spoken before, but often it's been, you know, a few minutes just about certain candidates, but actually it's nice to get to really know you yeah, thank you very much for the invite.
Speaker 2:I feel quite privileged to have the invite. I think you've. You've tried to get me on a few times, I think, so you've twisted my arm and you, finally, finally, exactly, and I, I am excited about it. I'm definitely excited about it good, good.
Speaker 1:So have you always worked in HR or?
Speaker 2:no so so I had a career switch, so I I left college, decided not to go and to university and sort of I had a part-time job working for a local pharmacy. They offered me a bit of their sort of graduate trainee program yeah, I sort of fell into it and I loved it.
Speaker 2:But I love the people, the people I work with. So my boss at the time I'm still really good friends with right. So there's people in your life that influence you, I think, during your lifetime, and she was one of those and I loved it. And then I got to a point where I switched pharmacies, went to a different chain, and then retail's really tough. I think anybody who works in retail, I think it's a really good grounding for people right, because it gives you lots of different opportunities to use different skills, but it's tough.
Speaker 2:The hours are long, you've got to be quite resilient and it was a time when I was in my 20s when actually a lot of my friends and my partner, my now husband were working nine till five and so I thought I was, I was losing out on that social stuff. You know in your 20s and you squeeze it in and sleep goes out of the window. I remember partying till like 2am and then getting to work at six and it was fine, um, but it got to a point where I just thought I don't want to do this anymore, but I didn't know what I wanted to do, so I just went back to basics and think about what. What do I like, what do I enjoy? And one of the things I really enjoyed was just being with people and like talking to people and actually in my previous career some of the things that I used to do were around managing the difficult performance of people and I quite enjoyed doing that. I did get a bit of a reputation, I will say um what was your reputation?
Speaker 2:well, so they used to place me in stores that were having difficult times, and then you and that could have been like external theft.
Speaker 2:It could have been internal theft it could have been performance issues, so you've got a bit of a reputation. If you were coming to your store, something was happening and then typically you would be terminating people who were not complying with the, the you know legislations, or maybe they were stealing or whatever. So you get a bit of a reputation. But it was sort of the I would say, the negative end of HR. That.
Speaker 1:I know so you were doing like the grievances and employee relations well before you were officially in HR all the time and it was really difficult.
Speaker 2:Um, because you didn't at the time, I wasn't a HR professional right, no training? No, no, exactly.
Speaker 2:And so, and it is quite soul destroying doing that all the time it's quite emotional to do it all the time, and I always thought you can do it in a nice way. I always believe you can be fair and kind and nice to people, even during those difficult moments. But it got to a point where I just thought I don't want to do this anymore. So go back 20 odd years and the way you recruited then is not how we recruit now, right? So I look through a local paper and in locals papers at that time Liz, I don't know whether you remember this there were pages of adverts yeah, yeah, I can remember, yeah, all the class fights.
Speaker 2:And so I looked through the local paper and there was this tiny little advert I used to have it I haven't got it anymore which was, uh, for this small company called Oxera, who were based in Oxford and they were looking for and you were based in Oxford.
Speaker 2:I was based in Oxford and they were looking for at the time a personnel assistant, which was what HR was called years ago to help grow, and it was a up-and-coming business and it was the first job I applied for. It was the first response I got and I went and I met these amazing people and I remember coming out of the first interview feeling like I just had a really good quality conversation, didn't feel like an interrogation or you know, and I just thought this feels like the right place.
Speaker 1:I want to work and again.
Speaker 2:The second interview where I met some other people, again felt like a good quality conversation. They had good instincts, they had good values. I could feel myself like fitting in and settling in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you know, sometimes you get a feeling where you feel like you've come home. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:I I think I've said to you this before I'm a true believer in fate. I sometimes it's not clear why these things happen. Sometimes it's quite hard at the time. But I believe it was fate at the time, fate for me to look at that and look for something else in my career. And they offered me the job, and the rest is history. So I've grown. I feel like I've grown up. I've taken my career, my professional development, from that point to where I am today. And that was what 21 years ago, last week, so again how big were they then when you joined they?
Speaker 2:were about just less than 50. We were in a converted university gym building which is so Oxford, and it was so lovely. And on a Friday, you know, if it was someone's birthday, we would all gather together and we would have cookies and Prosecco. You know, I remember. You know we didn't have phones on everybody's desk, so I remember the receptionist if a phone call came through, she would put it out on the tannoy and you'd go to. You know, tech has really moved on right, right, but we were. We were probably 50 people at that time, um, how many people are you now?
Speaker 1:over 300 spread between uk and europe, so you know just massive but I think the I mean you've been there and seen all that growth and change. Are those people that you met with at that time still there?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, allison's still there, helen's still there, luisha's still there, and I think our values are still the same. We've had to evolve, we've had to grow what your value is what do you think the value is?
Speaker 2:oh gosh uh, collaboration, insight, passion, integrity, and I think they still Please delete it Collaboration, insight, passion, integrity, and I think they still are who we are. Yes, they've evolved, they've changed, we've grown up, but I think they're just the DNA of who we are every day. And I think having somewhere which aligns your values to the company's values is really important. Well, it's important to me. I don't think I could work somewhere which which didn't didn't align in that way.
Speaker 1:I think it's. What's really nice is, if you go on your LinkedIn profile, you can see how you've like, you've grown, the company's grown, but you've grown with the company, yeah, and you've really worked up. You know, now you're head of HR from a personnel assistant, I know.
Speaker 2:And it's amazing because I don't know how many other companies do that sort of thing. We've got lots of people who you know were interns with us, for example, who are now partners. You know there is again that strong thread of learning and giving people opportunities and, you know, seeing the potential in people, which again is what's the average 10 year?
Speaker 2:do you know what people oh, it's over 10 years, I think yeah, and we have people that leave to go and do something else, and I guess it's really good for people to go and expand their horizons, try some different things, and then sometimes they come back as well, which is really great as well. So I'm again I believe that you can't keep everyone. Oxo is not a place for everybody to stay forever, and that's OK, because during your time with us, you give us, you grow, and we we do it back, so there's some mutual respect there. I feel like you know you let people go and do something bigger and better because of what they've achieved during their time with us we'll probably skip.
Speaker 1:We should have told people what um Oksara do. I don't know if you want to say what Oksara.
Speaker 2:I thought that I thought people would listen to this.
Speaker 1:Thinking sounds great, but I don't know what they do.
Speaker 2:So. We're an economic, finance and data science consultancy, so providing advice to regulators, government bodies, big firms, using frameworks around data science or finance or economics to answer sort of real world problems, and we really want to make a tangible difference.
Speaker 1:and I I'm not an economist, right, I'm not trained and you must be so busy at the moment because we're recording this not long after the tariffs trump's tariffs have rocked the world and the economies of probably every single country in the world, so I'm sure you've been very busy as an organization with that yeah, that seems to be more macro, but we definitely have had to watch that and see what the impact that has, particularly on our clients.
Speaker 2:Definitely.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think what's lovely about Oxera is they've grown as well, obviously from this little, well smaller office in Oxford and now like international. And you've been there the whole time.
Speaker 2:I know it's amazing, we're not quite the whole time, but long enough yeah, yeah, it is an amazing place to work. It is. The people are curious and fun and knowledgeable. The work, I think, is challenging. Um, I think we are quite unique. I know we have some direct competitors that say they look like us and are similar. I think we are unique, but you, I would say that I'm the head of HR, right?
Speaker 1:it's very flattering to say that they look like you. You know you're the original, you're the best. Yeah, I think so, absolutely, and you're now on the leadership team, is that right?
Speaker 2:so, yeah, I'm part of what we class the principal and partner group. So, yeah, so contributing to not only the operational stuff but the leadership of and the direction of Oxera in that sense. So I help the board and our managing partner and my colleagues to help think about the people strategies that are linked to what we want to do as an organization.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because that's good, because a lot of you know, you hear a lot of firms that don't actually have HR presence at that level and you think why that's crazy yeah, especially for a people-led organization.
Speaker 2:We are a people-led organization. I know, again, it's quite tweety to say and people say that, but we are. People are vital in our organization. Like, without these amazing individuals, we wouldn't have a business. So you have to like, you have to have a people-centric firm and I do believe, like, yeah, they want to hear from me and colleagues about actually, how do we engage people, how do we keep them happy, how do we motivate them, how do we, you know, make sure they're growing and learning all the time? They're not just a resource, they are a person in that sense so you, we've obviously known each other.
Speaker 1:Actually, it's quite a few years now, so I've dropped my pen. It's been a long time we've been working together and obviously you started working with us when we were really young. Organization and um. What I've loved about oxera you are definitely one of my favorite clients is you are and I know this has come from you because it's come from the top you have been such a champion the whole time of flexible and part-time work and even if something can't be done, maybe that you've got the part-time, you've still really tried to make it as flexible as possible as well. You know, I just wonder where that has come from your you know passion for flexible and part-time work.
Speaker 2:So I think part of it's from me and I think part of it's from the business. So if I talk about the business first and then I'll talk about my story, but from the business. We're a growing business, we're still not massive and actually what we've learned is we've had to introduce some new roles. Right, there's new things that we're doing all the time and as you open new roles, you can always make a role full-time. You can always fill it with stuff, can't you? But sometimes you just don't need 100.
Speaker 2:You know, during the work, you know, sometimes you you think, actually let's try something at a 0.6 and see because actually that's still a very meaningful role, a meaningful time and actually if you get the right person in that role, actually it's, it's brilliant, it excels. So part of it, I think, it's about the business and not just assuming all the time commercially. You need to. You know when there is a gap, you need to fill it with a full-time person like, or a full-time role. Um, the one thing we've never done is said to somebody you can work part-time, but ask them to complete a full-time role, because that never works right, so things out, you've got to yeah, exactly, you've got to, you've got to tailor it definitely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, in that sense. So I think, from a business perspective, I think it's worked commercially it works.
Speaker 1:Why does it work commercially? Because I think that's sometimes what companies you know, they they just think, oh, full-time, full-time. But actually there is a real commercial, I believe, benefit to flexible and part-time. And what commercial benefit have you seen to?
Speaker 2:Oxera definitely like. So there is the obvious thing you you pay a salary, but you're paying 0.6 or 0.8 or 0.4 of that salary, so that that's you know. Commercially there's a finance, but also it's this thing about making sure the role is meaningful. Like you can fill it with a whole load of other stuff that maybe is not the nugget of the role. Does that make sense? It's not that part of the and so actually having people that are doing impactful, meaningful, targeted role, rather than finesse it, make it bigger, I think is really important.
Speaker 1:I think so. I think that's such an interesting perspective because I remember being full time looking back, and it wasn't a full-time role really, I'll be honest, I'd be sitting there sometimes is when I was in house and I'd be sitting there in the afternoon. I have nothing to do. I'm just like waiting till like 5 30 and feeling a bit guilty.
Speaker 2:Fill it with meetings, fill it with reading, but also, I think, a lot of side desk stuff as well, which, yes, it's nice to have, but actually not that commercial.
Speaker 1:You know, csre type stuff, yes, it's nice to have if you're a big organization, but not really well you fill it with other stuff which is a nice to have but not essential.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I think I think and people and I think you know you do also get people who, uh, take a full-time job and feel like they have to make it a big role for their own confidence or their own ego, and so you can say I'm really busy, but are you busy doing the right things? In that sense?
Speaker 2:so you know, in for me it's making sure what are you asking somebody to do and making sure you're being very clear about that role yeah um, and, and I, like I said that the the perfection, and we found a few of these people with you, liz, which is why I think we enjoy working together so much is when you get this role and you get the right person, and it just seems magic, I know it is because I know who you're talking about and they are so good and yeah they're brilliant and they're so good, and I just think like really switched on really bright and yeah, and they both work three days?
Speaker 2:I think don't they yeah, yeah, and it's brilliant, right Again, when the role and the person comes together is fantastic, right. So, yeah, it's so commercially. I think, from a business perspective, I think it makes sense and I would say to people if you've never tried it, give it a go. Yes, yeah, you'll, you'll fall over. I can't say all the part-time roles we've ever had, right, liz, or even the recruitment we've had. It's all been like perfect. But you learn quickly and you adjust and then you go again. You know sometimes the role that could happen with a full-time.
Speaker 2:You know exactly, yeah, it's just yeah, it's not just about the whether the role is part-time, unless you're trying to squeeze a full-time role in a part-time role yeah, I think that's it isn't.
Speaker 1:It's going through a role, actually thinking what is essential. I did this when I'm in my hire. It's like what's essential, what isn't, and then real good time estimate of how long actually everything takes and you're asking that person to do and then being quite realistic and I mean my thing that I do as well, is because I being this, because I own the business, I really do work well.
Speaker 1:I know I work more than the other ladies I work with, but if I'm then emailing in the evening, I always do a scheduled send for the next day so sometimes their inbox goes crazy like nine o'clock when all these emails come in, but I always think that's better than them surely having their you know, checking their emails or feeling they have to respond to something in the evening yeah, because there's a difference between part-time working and flexible working yeah and I think we offer both.
Speaker 2:Yes, definitely. In my team I've got people doing full-time, part-time, flexible, right. So there are people who have got other commitments that could be. At the moment I've got a few mums in my team, for example, so that parental responsibility about the school run is a great example for me, like I don't see it being a problem why people can't go and do the school run at three o'clock, right one. I remember doing it with my two and I actually, on reflection, I miss it, right. So they're now at secondary school, um, and I used to like the ability just to walk away, you know, and do the 10 minutes sort of literal run.
Speaker 1:So I was one of those mums oh my god, I'm always the last one, I'm so I, literally I feel guilty that they are like waiting in the classroom yeah, I'm not one of those mums who stood at the gate chatting away having social time.
Speaker 2:I'm literally running through the mums who stood at the gate chatting away having social time. I'm literally running through the door like yeah, sometimes on the phone to somebody. That's how it used to be. But you know, on reflection I liked that ability to get out, get a bit of fresh air, even in the rain, and come back and and I used to enjoy the walk back with with my little ones because they used to sort of what do you do with your little?
Speaker 1:because this is where I feel a bit guilty. And what do you do with them? Because then I, you know, feel torn then at that time between like 3 and 5, 30, when, yeah, you know your inbox, you can still see the emails coming through.
Speaker 2:So I think when I, when my two were at primary school, it was um, so one of them left during covid, one left just after covid and I think the hybrid working world flipped at that point. So I think, when I was doing flexible working and I would do the school run, for example, um, I would only do the school run a couple of times a week and then my husband would do the school run. We always try and have quite an equal share of the parental responsibilities, and then sometimes they went to after school club or they had a child minder, whereas actually, I think, after Covid and when the world went like this, where you can have a bit more flexibility, when the world went like this, where you can have a bit more flexibility, I remember I think we did it for about a year and it was a bit of a mix. So sometimes my husband would take her to the park or something, or, uh, nanny, as in my mum, would come around, or my dad, um, or sometimes it was child, sometimes it was in front of insert appropriate child cartoon right or ipad right for an hour while you do stuff, um, and it is a real juggle in that sense, I think, and I think you feel guilty. Whatever you do, if you're not physically there, you feel guilty. But you know, for me, you know, one of the reasons that I work and I want to work and I do want to work is I want my kids to see that they've got a strong, working mum and that you can.
Speaker 2:I was always told you could have it all. I've learned you can't quite have it all. You have to make some trade-offs. But you can be a great mum and a great wife and a great friend and a great professional. But there are trade-offs, right so, as in school gate. So I didn't go to every school activity. I was always the parent that was literally me sliding into whatever. I was always the parent that's relying on the friend's whatsapp group to tell me what day I had x or y, and so there are those trade-offs you make. But it means that actually we have a nice life. I feel like we are I don't like to use the word lucky, because I think you work hard to make your own destiny in that sense.
Speaker 2:But you know we have nice holidays, you know we have a nice house. That all comes from working hard, right, and so they're the trade-offs, right. It doesn't mean that, you know, I'm not there as a parent. I used to like bath time, bedtimes now no such thing in our house right with my teenagers. But you know they were my precious moments. They were moments that I, you know, made sure I was around for in that sense. So there's trade-offs. I would say definitely.
Speaker 1:I think that's right. It's nothing like it's nothing's perfect. You can't be everything to everyone all the time.
Speaker 2:No, our house like lives off, you know either. Ready meals yeah, good old M&S right um or batch cooking at the weekend, then you know and I think. You know, my house is never immaculate, it's not cleaned every day, you know, and they're things that you just trade off right against actually other things that are more important. I think so yeah, and I think, being okay with whatever the trade-offs you agree with yourself, I think is really important.
Speaker 1:What do you think is what's next for your career then? Because obviously you give me a head of HR. Where would you like to go after this?
Speaker 2:I still think there's loads of room in my role. I think I work for an amazing organisation. I work for an amazing organization. You, you know, I you could probably hear that like they're, they're super ambitious. I sometimes describe the company like a magpie, like they like the next shiny new thing.
Speaker 2:Quite entrepreneurial in that sense, which means actually, I don't think I've ever had two years that are the same, or a boring no way. You know, and that's what's kept me here is the, the speed of change, the speed of ambition, you know, and we're still on that journey to to be bigger, to be better, to provide an amazing place to work. And that means, actually, there's so much stuff we can do as a team to provide some of that sort of foundation, that basis. But I'm still growing as well as a person, you know, you learn some stuff about yourself and you think, oh, you know, I'll try and do something different this time. So I'm growing as well. So I think there's loads, loads of stuff out there which is quite exciting, and I think if anyone's listened to this.
Speaker 1:So Oxaria obviously is a consultancy, but you have all sorts of roles, don't you available?
Speaker 2:it's not just consultants no, and we've mainly worked together, liz, on our all our business support roles, and we've had a range of them gosh facilities manage.
Speaker 1:There's quite a lot of management roles facilities managing health resource manager senior talent, ops, hr.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's been quite a few, I think over the time, over the years, yeah, even receptionist oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, gosh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's probably a list that we should think about yeah, so we've helped you with um, but where can people generally find your vacancies?
Speaker 2:uh website. So uh, go to auxeracom and have a look at the careers page, and that's probably the best place to start.
Speaker 1:I would say but you're a growing organization. You're based all over Europe, so if someone's listening to this and they're not in the UK as well, they may have opportunities for you absolutely definitely.
Speaker 2:We would love to you know. We're growing all of our European offices, so having people based outside of the Oxford, london sort of jurisdictions would be amazing.
Speaker 1:Are you planning to move beyond Europe at any point?
Speaker 2:We've talked about it. It's definitely discussions, definitely I think. I don't think the company would never say never in that sense, you know, and we work internationally, internationally right, so so it doesn't matter where you are. So you could be, you know, somebody sat in the London office and working on, you know, a piece of work for a client in Asia. Or you could be somebody you know in our Paris office working with a team member in our Milan office and our Oxford office on you know, uh, you know a Brussels uh piece of work.
Speaker 1:So it's really broad, it's really interesting that type of work brilliant and if someone's connected with you, are we okay if we put your LinkedIn yes profile in the show notes.
Speaker 1:So we'll definitely put the Oxera website in the show notes. We'll put your LinkedIn profile. Obviously go on LinkedIn and's linkedin profile because it's so interesting. You can really see the growth you've had with oxera and obviously then you can get a sense of how the company has grown as well over the past 20 years. I think they're a brilliant organization and it's been such a pleasure to work with you, paula, over the past few years. So thank you so so much for doing, for working with us and also for your time today. You're very welcome, nice talking to you.
Speaker 1:Lisa, speak to you thank you for listening to another episode of the work. It like a mom podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, review and subscribe, and don't forget to share the link with a friend. If you're on LinkedIn, please send me a connection request at Elizabeth Willett and let me know your thoughts on this week's episode. You can also follow my recruitment site Investing in Women on LinkedIn, facebook and Instagram. Until next time, keep on chasing your biggest dreams.