Even the toughest experiences offer the most valuable lessons and can lead to profound transformation. For today’s guest, survivor educator Annette Mango, her journey from adversity to advocacy epitomizes this truth.
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In this episode, Annette shares her harrowing experience as a victim of sex trafficking, struggles with substance abuse, and periods of homelessness. Coming from a family of functional addicts and strained relationships with her parents, her childhood and adolescence lacked the support needed to avoid the cycle of abuse and addiction.
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Annette’s life took a pivotal turn when she joined the Renee Jones Empowerment Center and discovered the power of these simple words: What do you need? How can I help you?
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The invaluable support she received there led her on a journey of self-discovery, and now she’s an advocate for others, sharing her story and inspiring fellow survivors in her own recovery process.
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Tune in now to hear Annette’s story!
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You can reach out to Annette through email at annetemango0@gmail.com
Purchase Vanishing Fathers
100% of the proceeds go to charity that help at-risk youths
Connect with Jamie at Truman Charities:
Facebook
Instagram
LinkedIn
Website
YouTube
Email: info@trumancharities.com
This episode was post produced by Podcast Boutique https://podcastboutique.com/
Even the toughest experiences offer the most valuable lessons and can lead to profound transformation. For today’s guest, survivor educator Annette Mango, her journey from adversity to advocacy epitomizes this truth.
-
In this episode, Annette shares her harrowing experience as a victim of sex trafficking, struggles with substance abuse, and periods of homelessness. Coming from a family of functional addicts and strained relationships with her parents, her childhood and adolescence lacked the support needed to avoid the cycle of abuse and addiction.
-
Annette’s life took a pivotal turn when she joined the Renee Jones Empowerment Center and discovered the power of these simple words: What do you need? How can I help you?
-
The invaluable support she received there led her on a journey of self-discovery, and now she’s an advocate for others, sharing her story and inspiring fellow survivors in her own recovery process.
-
Tune in now to hear Annette’s story!
-
You can reach out to Annette through email at annetemango0@gmail.com
Purchase Vanishing Fathers
100% of the proceeds go to charity that help at-risk youths
Connect with Jamie at Truman Charities:
Facebook
Instagram
LinkedIn
Website
YouTube
Email: info@trumancharities.com
This episode was post produced by Podcast Boutique https://podcastboutique.com/
Welcome to the Trumentarities podcast. I am Jimmy Truman, your host. I spoke with Annette Mango as part of our Vanishing Father series. Annette is a remarkable person. She spoke with me about her childhood and what her experience has been being a survivor of trafficking. Annette has now accomplished her survivor educator program and begun publicly speaking and sharing her story to help others. This is Annette's story. Hi, annette, how are you? I'm great. How?
Speaker 2:are you today?
Speaker 1:Good, I'm so thankful that you're coming on to tell your story, so thank you so much.
Speaker 2:You're more than welcome and it's an honor. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:So I guess let's start out from the beginning. What was your family dynamic like when you were born, when you were a young child?
Speaker 2:It was normal to me. I had both of my parents, but they was divorced, so I spent a lot of time summers, with my father side of the family but, like going to school, I was with my mother. So it was normal I got a brother.
Speaker 1:Did they live close by In the same city?
Speaker 2:Okay, but the only thing that I always noticed is as a child is I never seen my mother and father together. We would go out through the car to my father, but I've never seen them next to each other or anything.
Speaker 1:Right, so there's no communication really between your parents.
Speaker 2:Not the end that I knew of. I didn't know that my grandmother was their communication.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, so she was the mediator. Yes, and what do you know about your parents' relationship as?
Speaker 2:an adult it was abusive. As an adult I found out it was abusive, but as a child I thought it was great. I never even thought of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's interesting how a child's perspective and as you get older and you mature, how you can see things in a different light. Yes, so when did your parents get divorced?
Speaker 2:I have no idea.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you were really little.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, okay. So what was it like at your mom's house first? At your father's house, at my mom's house?
Speaker 2:mom was always gone. Mom worked. It was normal just for me and my sister and brother to sneak outside go play, because mom had to work and we stayed in low income and we always just had friends. The neighbors were supposed to make sure everything was safe when we used to climb other windows Normal kids stuff. But like I said, in the summertime I always sent over my grandmother's house my sister and brother they came sometimes but I was the one. They went to my mom's side of the family. They got to go out of town and I always had to stay with my father's mother in town.
Speaker 1:And what was it like at your father's house?
Speaker 2:It was my grandmother's house, I guess my father. He didn't stay there, but I always ended up going to my grandmother's house. I was a teenager, maybe nine or 10, before my father had a house that I can go to that. I actually seen him sleep in the house because he had got remarried and before that, yeah yeah that's what happened.
Speaker 2:And then he had he used to come and get to go skate and go skate every Thursday and he had I think he had a room or something, but it was good because we had activity.
Speaker 1:Right, and how was your relationship with both of your parents as a child? Were you close to that? I?
Speaker 2:was close to my father, even though he wasn't really around. My mother was the, the the plant one and I felt that she didn't pay me enough attention because she was always sober and then.
Speaker 1:so what was it like as you became a teenager?
Speaker 2:I was lonely. I didn't know how. As a teenager, I didn't know how to take care of myself. As a young girl, no one ever taught me about like my administration, keep my hair combed, my hygiene. I had an older sister, but she's like three years older than me, so if you look at that, she was gone doing her own thing, because when I was 13 she's 18, you know. So now my grandma kept me doing what I did, but when I went to my grandma's house I was always wanting to go play.
Speaker 1:And so did that affect having friends in school.
Speaker 2:Yes, it affected me because, as far as school went, good school but my brother didn't, and a lot of people that know realize that me and my brother had the same mom because she would come to the school and because my brother would do something and she would take care of what she had to take care of for him. But she would never come to my classes, none of my friends never from school, never seen my mom or me, because she would never come to my classes and things like that.
Speaker 1:Now, do you think that's because she was, she had to work so much, or why do you think that was?
Speaker 2:I personally just thought that she I looked at more like my father and my brother looked at more like her, and I used to. That used to affect me because my mother was so beautiful, you know, I used to want just people to see her, how beautiful she was. She looked at real nice and none of my friends from school knew. If they didn't know my brother and seen her, they wouldn't know what my mom looked like. I wanted to brag on her.
Speaker 1:And so how did that make you feel when people in your school aren't aware that you know you guys had the same mom.
Speaker 2:I really didn't talk about it, we just went on, but it just hurt me.
Speaker 1:What was your relationship like with your older sister?
Speaker 2:I really didn't have one. I mean, I knew she was my sister, but we never did anything together or anything.
Speaker 1:And so then you were 15. How was the remainder of your high school years?
Speaker 2:Well, actually, when I was 12, 13, I actually got sent away to Parmadele. I got sent away. Something happened in the family that police came and got me and my brother. Something happened that I ended up getting sent to Metzema and my sister and brother didn't. And I never understood. I thought I was a bad child. I thought I just did everything wrong as far as my mother concerned and she didn't want me no more and she gave me up and she gave me to the system.
Speaker 1:So you were sent to foster care.
Speaker 2:I was sent to Parmadele.
Speaker 1:OK, what is that?
Speaker 2:It's housing, for it's an institution for bad kids, or kids don't know where to go.
Speaker 1:Oh, and what was that? Like I loved it, you did. Yeah. What was it like living there.
Speaker 2:It was. I got a tension. I got a tension and I had other girls and stuff there, but the only thing was wrong that I had a mean. The lady who ran the house was a sister and she used to look me with switches and stuff. She's always hit me. Oh wow, yeah, so she abused me.
Speaker 1:But you enjoyed it because of the friendships that you made there.
Speaker 2:Yes, and when someone never talked to me while I was there I mean as far as my family and stuff all I know is that I was there and I liked it because I just got. It was a different atmosphere than growing up and being in projects. I got to meet new people and it seemed like everybody was like me.
Speaker 1:And so when you went there, when you said 12 or 13 years old, and what about your father? Did he?
Speaker 2:you said that he wasn't allowed to come and see me Wasn't allowed, did he try?
Speaker 1:Do you know?
Speaker 2:No, I don't know. My mother didn't come and see me. I didn't know Nobody would talk to me in the family I got one of these families that nobody tells me nothing. They didn't tell me anything.
Speaker 1:And then, how long did you stay there?
Speaker 2:I stayed there for maybe two years.
Speaker 1:Okay, and then what happened?
Speaker 2:So I no doubt that I could no longer stay there anymore, because they needed the space. They needed the space. So I started doing weekends at home and when I came back I was told that my mother had to come get me or they would send me to the detention home because I mean, as being teenagers, being teenagers the sister found the secret. We used to sneak over to the boys' side and the boys used to sneak to our side while we was there, and so, happily, I guess one of the boys that snuck over to the side and came into the cottage, I guess they put out a secret.
Speaker 2:The sister found the secret and, being in an atmosphere like that, if you wasn't there when everybody was getting in trouble, you was the one who was picked to. Hey look, she did it, she knew about it and I mean it happened all the time and so, happily, since I went there, I got blamed for it. So they told me I had to leave and I loved being there because I loved the school being there. I learned how to play tennis. Even though I ran away every weekend to my mom's during the week, I still had fun and I did it. I got to work in the summertime got a job, but, yeah, my mom had to come and get me and I was no longer there. They said that they needed the space.
Speaker 1:Okay, and then what happened when you ended up going back home?
Speaker 2:I didn't get along with my mom.
Speaker 1:Because how old were you at this point?
Speaker 2:I'm 15. Okay, 15, going on 16. And when I was in Parma del, I guess I got to the fact that I started caring about myself. I didn't like being around that atmosphere no more, because nobody wanted to do nothing. Let nobody want to. I was at Parma del. You always had to do something. You know, you just sit around. They motivated you in school. They told you but you can do this, you can do this, you can be this. And then I was getting ready to start ninth grade, I was getting ready to go to a school out in Parma and went back home. That means I had to go back to the school where everybody in the projects went to, and it's just what? No motivation to me. I didn't want to be in that atmosphere, no more. And I got in a lot of trouble with my mom. I just sit up here and tell her how the teachers was, how they would pay me attention, how everything in my mom did like that.
Speaker 1:Okay, and then. So what was? So you were getting in a lot of trouble at home, and then how was school life when you went back to your old school?
Speaker 2:It was fine, but the girls wasn't doing like I was, just like I was wearing skirts. You know, I just wanted to wear skirts. I thought you were supposed to be proper going to school just wearing jeans and stuff, because, being in Parma, the way they did things was different than the way you would do things at home and I liked it that when I liked it feeling pretty but not being pernourished, not just being wearing anything I like to wear dresses and stuff it made me feel important. It made me feel like I was going somewhere, but going back to that school and anything, because being in Parma and stuff, you just couldn't wear anything to school and my mom ended up sending me to my auntie house.
Speaker 1:She told me I had better.
Speaker 2:That's it. I was still 15. Still 15. Okay, yeah, and I was with my mom. That's when they first started busing. They started busing us to the east side, and so I started getting beat up all the time coming to the east side and everything, and it seemed like they nobody cared. I used to get chased to the bus stop and everything, and nobody cared.
Speaker 1:It just seemed like nobody cared. And why do you think that you were treated so poorly?
Speaker 2:I mean, because I lived it like my father.
Speaker 1:OK, what was it like when you moved to your aunts?
Speaker 2:Oh, it was great. It was great because now I'm around people that look more like me, I look more like that. My uncles now came over around. I was more with my grandmothers again and I actually got to do what I wanted to do. I joined a gang. I didn't have to go to school. I was supposed to be in school, but then nobody made sure I was in school, didn't? Nobody care about my grades. I believe I was fit where I was at, just like a babysit.
Speaker 1:Oh, ok, so your aunt had small children. And then what was it like when you joined a gang? It was great.
Speaker 2:It was great. I had people who was miscevious like me, who just wanted to be adventurers, and then being in a gang was a family.
Speaker 1:You know, I've heard that from people that I've spoke to that have been in gangs. They said it was like a fiamme. Yeah, yes, ok. And so what was that like? How long were you in that? What was that experience?
Speaker 2:It only lasted, maybe about a year and half, because, for one thing, I was in the ninth grade when I ended up going to another school and I didn't realize that all of the people who I was hanging with and everything and we went to school, that I was older than them and I was actually in a higher grade. So I ended up going to high school while they were still in middle school and then a lot of guys that we used to hang around with they ended up going to prison. So, yeah, a lot of different things happened and my world was turned apart when they started going to prison and then when all my friends was in middle school.
Speaker 1:What were some of the reasons that the guys were going to prison?
Speaker 2:They all of them actually went at the same time because when we wasn't with them, we found out that they had robbed somebody and they died. The person they robbed died and we didn't know nothing about it. So we was like they didn't do nothing. They didn't do nothing, but they respected us enough not to the girls. They didn't involve us in it, so we wasn't involved and we didn't know.
Speaker 1:So then, what happened when that kind of all fell apart?
Speaker 2:When all that had happened and stuff, I ended up going to a new school and I met different people from other parts that came to school and everything and I just started leaching out and everybody. And then I end up meeting a young man in my high school and end up getting pregnant.
Speaker 1:OK. How old were you when you got pregnant? 16. Ok, and then? So what happened from there?
Speaker 2:My aunt put me out and I ended up going to live with my baby's father and right when I was getting ready to have the baby, my aunt told me I can come back. And I went back and I had the baby and I remember my aunt telling me that I had to get a job and everything For all the while I'm trying to go to school too. And she said that I had to support my baby and my baby father was supporting him because he was in school too. And I talked to the daycare people at the daycare close by the house and they told me that I could work there after school. But when I went to my aunt and told her, she said she wasn't going to babysit him, so no more. So I ended up dropping out of school and not working.
Speaker 1:OK, and then were you living with your aunt still when you dropped out of school?
Speaker 2:Yes, I had my son when I was 17. Then I ended up turning 18. And I ended up getting my own place.
Speaker 1:OK.
Speaker 2:At 18, I got my own place through low income and I got a job at a temporary service and I took care of my son.
Speaker 1:OK, and then was the father still in the life of you and your son.
Speaker 2:Yes, and then I grew up with my son, my father, and my son was six months because he did something that I could never have to get him for.
Speaker 1:Oh, ok, all right, so then was he still in your son's life after that? Yes, he was.
Speaker 2:Well, ashley, it didn't matter if he was or not, because I took him over here. He lived with his mother and I took him there. I took him to his grandmother's house.
Speaker 1:Your son.
Speaker 2:Yes, his father lived with his mother. I took him there. I took him over his father's house anytime.
Speaker 1:And then? So what happened after that breakup?
Speaker 2:His. Really, to tell you the truth, his grandmother really ended up raising him, raising my son. Even though I would go get him and I would support him because I was working, I still didn't have a car or anything and I was so young. So I worked and I partied and worked, went to see my son, made sure that he was financial, he had everything he needed, everything with his grandmother. I ended up getting a good job.
Speaker 1:I ended up getting a good job with the federal government.
Speaker 2:I ended up working for the housing authority because I stayed in the projects and they were looking for people who lived there to work for them for a couple of months because they had contractors doing jobs there, and so that's when they started doing that and so by the end, all of this stuff is all these things was going on. I'm drinking, I'm smoking weed. My family was addicts, but functional addicts, and my father's side is family and I didn't think if you didn't smoke and drink with the family, you just didn't belong with that family. I got to go out with them all the time Instead of going to school. I would made to go to school.
Speaker 2:I was just out with them all the time and I was smoking weed and drinking. We had parties at the house and stuff all the time. So it was normal, it was normal size, but they were functional. So as all these things going on and I'm growing older, I end up getting a good job and everything. And then with the job, I'm meeting other people and as I meet other people, I'm starting graduating to more drugs.
Speaker 1:OK.
Speaker 2:With other people going out belonging, Belonging.
Speaker 1:So you started experimenting with harder drugs.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:OK.
Speaker 2:Yes, and as I'm going but I'm still functional, then I end up meeting personnel, meeting stars and stuff from things that I'm doing. But I'm studying, graduating to doing drugs all the time now, but I'm going. I held that job for 10 years.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, ok yeah.
Speaker 2:And. But it started getting the best of me when I can no longer do the drugs and work. But I'm meeting more different guys. That I'm hiding this from everybody, nobody knows it. Nobody knows it. That I'm a drug addict about this time Nobody knew it.
Speaker 1:I want to give this time. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:I'm probably around in my late 20s.
Speaker 1:OK.
Speaker 2:I'm in my 20s doing all this and nobody, nobody, nobody, absolutely nobody, ever asked me if there's anything wrong with me. I'm holding two or three jobs now because I have to pay for my addiction, but my son is still taking care of us. He's still. He's number one. He's number one. No one ever asked me anything about it. No one ever asked me why I never had a boyfriend that I actually lived with. I couldn't have a boyfriend because I'm working all these jobs. I mean, I was seeing different guys, but they had to have some money to help me take care of myself. But no one ever lived with me and I used to always sit up there and say because what? No man, no other man going to tell my son what to do. He's one up now he's at that time he's 13 and 14. And I'm like and nobody ever knew it because he had the best of everything, he was number one, it didn't matter, and nobody ever seen me, do you?
Speaker 1:think that people didn't know because you were so good at hiding and you were functioning.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and then nobody ever. They used to always say, girl, you got a man, you ain't got no man. But they didn't understand I couldn't have a man. Because how can I explain me doing drugs? I had to get my drugs and somehow between working, saying my son, making sure I stay okay, making sure I eat, I mean all that was. It was a task. It was a task Until the bottom kid that they Wanted a drug dealers.
Speaker 2:I used to go get drugs from the drug dealer and I used to always get a package. I was on drugs. I should tell him I used to sell it and when it's drug, that is, call me. When I was at work and said that he needed his money and I said, well, I got it, but I can't get it to you now and he was like what, you better bring it to me because he just got robbed and he had to do what he had to do and I had a company card in. He said if I didn't bring in this money would come to my job.
Speaker 2:So I got in my car, I'm in the car and I'm perceived to go to his house and as I go to his house I'm counting the money. I'm counting this money and I go to the bank, I get the money and I'm counting his money and traffic stopped. Traffic was stopping and when traffic stopped I Looked up and it was moving. But next thing, you know, I look back down for a minute to finish counting the money while I was driving and I hit a car and, being in an accident, working for the government like that, you automatically get a drug test. So that was gonna find out. So what I did was I ended up taking the car home, had the car in my backyard, asked my brother my brother working for where I worked before then because I got him a job there and he ended up coming to get the car and I Never went back.
Speaker 1:You never want. Because I didn't, yeah, because I didn't want them to know what I was.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm and I told everybody under the sun that I resigned from the job. Okay, so I tell the story. For a long time I was on Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:So what happened then? So you, quote-unquote, told everybody that you resigned from your job. And what?
Speaker 2:I ended up being with somebody who actually had a lot of money, had a good career and everything. Like I said, I hide it for a long time. And so I ended up getting a contact with somebody who I knew that cared for me and everything and had a good job, and he he asked me to move in with him. So I did, I'm Moving with him. He had no idea what was going on and he told me that don't worry, I don't have to work because he can take care of me. But he was always in and out of town, so he's always leave me money and everything. So I kept up. I still was able to go and get my drugs and everything and he was never at home, so I never worked and did. He bought me a car, so that helped. Then it was things were no one that I oh, he was messing around on me and I call myself being the smur and leaving him.
Speaker 2:And when I left him, I ended up moving into someone who had a low income, who was just gonna charge me a little money To live there, and my friend who I just moved from. He was paying a rent Okay, he was paying that rent and then that's when things got worse, because I had no money now, since he was paying all he's doing paying the rent. So I had this smart idea of saying, well, hey, I still need my drugs. So I decided that I was gonna go out and sell my body, I was gonna go on the prostitute. And I actually did. And actually when it first started it was cool. I mean, I would go out and sell my body, I would get the money, I'll go buy me drugs, and I was going home and it was fine. But then after a while it's getting so bad that I would run into people who was like raving me, ones who would not pay me Um, they would beat me, they would do things. And then I saw seeing me more different drug dealers and stuff. Didn't matter what the age was and stuff. They would say, if you would do this, do this, you would get your drugs. So I started doing that and then I lived that. Well, my son had turned 18. So my son is 18 now, so he's on this home, he's fine. The lady who I was renting a house from, she decided that she wanted her house back. So I became instantly homeless. And doing that, I'm, jumping in and out of cars. I'm sleeping outside, I only have a bag full of stuff.
Speaker 2:And as that happened, I lived like that for a couple years and then I ended up moving to different places and stuff and one day I seen a young lady. It was cold. I was that. I mean I was sleeping at the bridges, I was sleeping in bus stops, I was sleeping in abandoned houses because I went to my family and I really wouldn't late. Nobody See me. I was trying to make nobody see me and I end up a couple of times, most likely getting raped and beat more often. I mean I used to go in tall bushes and stuff to fall asleep and everything, but I still had my drugs. I was still getting my drugs.
Speaker 2:Then somehow, someway, I end up living with other drugies, guys that was still drugs. So they wanted for me to stay in their house. I had to get them drugs. So then I said, forget this, I'm going to sit up there and just stay outside sleeping in abandoned houses. And I met this young lady one day and she said hey, it seemed like you cold. It was real cold outside. She said same like you cold. And she said I see you make money and stuff and get what you want. She said but I got some place you can come in. I'll give you a little something to hold you over. And I said, oh, ok, I thought I mean I was getting out the cold and everything.
Speaker 2:And I ended up going in this house and ended up not leaving for three months because the people who gave me the drugs wouldn't let me leave.
Speaker 2:And that's the first time I was trapped. The ladies told me that they would give me the drugs and everything, but it was so cold inside. I went in the house and they end up keep selling me and selling me and saying that I owed them. So they kept giving me the drugs and I owed them and then people would come over and buy the drugs. Guys would come over and buy the drugs and they would say they would want to be with me and they would give me drugs and I had to do things with them. So I was being sold over and over again for the drugs and then one of them I ended up leaving at the house as a person and came to buy drugs. They said that he gave the dope dealer money, everything for me to go with him and I ended up leaving and getting to leave out the house, and that was the beginning of me being sold over and over and over again.
Speaker 1:And that was then from that individual that took you out of that house and then, he ended up, resold me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he resold me to somebody. And then the drug dealer would say here's your something free and the drug. He'll give me a hotel room and he'll say I give you this and you just go out and make the money. But it didn't end up being that way. He used to the people who would buy drugs from him, he used to send them in the hotel room and I couldn't leave because I owed.
Speaker 1:Do you feel like the drugs then were helping you kind of get through it as well? They did.
Speaker 2:They did. It got so bad that I changed my name. I didn't know who I was. I changed my name.
Speaker 1:And at this point, did your family or your son have any idea what was going on, or was it just finding everything?
Speaker 2:I was still hiding everything. I would call my son every once in a while but he really really didn't know what was going on. And my family? They really really didn't know what was going on. If somebody seen me, they told me but I didn't go around those families for them to see how things was and we're not going to account that. We're not even going to say how I been in the prison two times to Marysville, two times how many times I actually been to jail. We're not even going to count how many times I've been in rehab. We're not even going to account all the times, because the first time I got trafficked is when I was 35 years old.
Speaker 1:Oh, ok, and then? What were you ending up going to jail for?
Speaker 2:They used to say possession or prostitution, or soliciting, or soliciting.
Speaker 1:And then you would end up going to rehab and then would you be clean for a while, or would you just get leave and go straight back?
Speaker 2:I would end up in my mind. In my mind I was clean and I wanted to stay clean, but in reality I had no money, I had no job, I had nowhere else to go, so I ended up going back where I was, where I knew, and I end up someone offered me money, and to be able to go out there to do this I had to be high. I had to be high, so I ended up getting more drugs. Or somebody would give me drugs and say, hey, hey, man, I see you maybe in a month or so. And here, here you go, and here I go. I'm back in the cycle because I still didn't have nowhere to live.
Speaker 1:Right and then. So how did you eventually get out of the cycle?
Speaker 2:The cycle went off for so long, something different, something different came along. I heard something different, which one day I got picked up and I went to court. And when I went to court, a young lady came to me and asked me would I like to join the Human Trafficking Court? And I'm like, well, that's a human trafficking court, I don't know. I said, would I get housing? And she said, yeah, we can help you with that. And I said OK. And she said to me she said, well, you have to want to do this. This is your decision. This has nothing to do with nobody else. If you want to do this, it's a two-year program and we can do it. And I said what I said, what you mean, is my decision. I get to make the decision, I get to say what I want to do. And I said it's free and you're going to give me housing. I said, of course, I want to go there, I want to do this, and I end up going to the Human Trafficking Court. And when I went, it was amazing. Tell me about it. Well, it was a sister there. I'm listening to all the other young ladies which they're getting help. They're getting help. The judge acts. Now, how can I help you? What can I do for you? She's not telling them to distance what you're going to do. This is how you're going to do it. She said well, we have the resources to help you.
Speaker 2:Then, while I'm sitting in a back way for my name, bicor my sister say hey, she will go up to this young lady and say, here, you've been doing good and everything. I want to give you this t-shirt. It was this red, bright t-shirt and I'm sitting back there. And so I looked and when the sister came back and said, I want to tell her how can I get one of those t-shirts? I wanted t-shirts and she gave me the Renee Jones apartment center card and she said just show up there tomorrow and you can get a t-shirt. So after that I told the judge that I was going to go there and everything. And I went and from there on my life changed completely to where.
Speaker 2:When I got to this place, on the on it of the building it said the Renee Jones apartment center. So I said OK, so I go and sat this little bitty old place it was so little and a young lady come and she said hi, she greeted me, she treated me like I was human. She said who she was, she shook my hand and she said Miss Renee will be right with you. And I said, excuse me, ma'am, what do you mean, miss Renee? She said, yes, miss Renee will talk to you. She got somebody else in there. She'll be right with you. And I said you mean the same Renee who name is on this on it out here? And she said yes, I knew right then. And there I knew that somebody cared about me enough to hear that name out in bright. And it's out there and they going to meet me. They're taking this time to meet me Because, see, I thought about it, when I go to Dave's store, dave don't come out and say, hey, you mind some girls, hey, I'll meet you.
Speaker 2:When you go places, the people who own the place don't usually come and greet you. And when Ms Renee came out, she said, and she told me who she was. She said how can I help you today? She said what do you need? How can I help you? She didn't say what distance we'll be going to. She didn't say, hey, are you a drug addict? She didn't say, hey, have you been to jail? She said how can I help you and from there on we told her about the things I was going through, what I have already been through, because you have to understand all these years of me going to rehab, all these going to these different transitional houses and everything I was stuck I was stuck with. I couldn't move on. I kept being reintroduced to the same thing that I just did. I got so many certificates saying that I completed this, I completed that, but there was the same certificate but just in a different place.
Speaker 2:The places that I had to go because I had no money. They were getting grants, and so I have a roof over my head with these places. I had to do what they said. None of them ever asked me like one place I went in and I remember, for example, said they asked me my whole history. I told them and there they didn't have nothing for me to do except for mesobitants.
Speaker 2:I'm 35, 36, and I told them when I was younger how I had a domestic violence situation when I was 18. And I'm asking them why would I be going to domestic body classes? Right, there's other things wrong with me that I need. They say well, that's the only way you can stay here, because we have money for that. And I said, well, I don't have an education, can I go to school? Can you send me for my G? They said no, we don't have money for that. You have to do something that the grants pay for for you to stay in this particular place. So that's where a lot of things happen, that is, that they end up late-ness or putting us in places that we have to reoccur. We don't grow. We don't grow at all. We just stay in the same place.
Speaker 2:So being at Ms Renee, being at this human traffic court, they helped me grow. I had already finished up my counseling and everything and Ms Renee asked me what else can I help you with? And I never heard that because all everybody over told me to go to a meeting. If something wrong, would you pick up a book, talk to your sponsor. No one ever said do you have any mental issues? Have you ever been raped before? Have you ever been beat before? No one ever asked me that. Oh, they were so busy as keep sending me to these rehabs and everything. And I kept doing this cycle. But I knew something else was wrong. I knew I had other problems and that court and Ms Renee helped me realize there was other things wrong with me, and that was my beginning. That's what helped me realize that I kept being in the cycle because no one else would help me push along. No one would help me, and they did.
Speaker 1:And so how long were you with that program?
Speaker 2:Well, I ended up graduating from the human trafficking court. It was a two-year program. I ended up graduating in 18 months. Then with Ms Renee I am still with Ms Renee and her. I am still with her. I do amazing things with her. I speak for her sometimes, but I still go to class with her too, on Thursdays and Saturdays. When they do things, I'm still involved. I'm just like everybody else. I do outreach with her everything. I'm still involved with the renaissance because all around you tell her you need something. If she don't have it there, she will make sure she get it for you. My mental sense we go to horse farms. She had gala for us. We dance. She have all kind of people making sure we get what we need.
Speaker 1:I saw in 2017, you completed the survivor educator certification. Since then, you've been able to start publicly speaking, sharing your story and helping others. How has that been for you?
Speaker 2:It's been amazing because when it first started, a lot of organizations and a lot of groups were access to speak for them and to tell our stories and everything. And then Ms Renee noticed that other counselors and other people were also there on the panel, but all of them was getting paid. We were there to get paid and she made sure she got with Ms Maureen and she made sure that we took the classes through me and a couple of other survivors. We took the classes with Western Reserves to become public speakers and to not get exploited and to have them pay us for our voice. It's like we are on my own contractor. I decide who I want to speak to, I decide how much I'm going to charge, I decide what I want to say and don't want to say. And Ms Renee now she's seen that.
Speaker 1:How does that feel to now that you were for so long didn't have a voice and now you do? You make, you decide, you make your own decisions, you do what you want. You have your own voice.
Speaker 2:It's scary. It still feels scary, but at the same time I feel honored to be able to do it without exploring myself over or letting someone else explore me, without even knowing the difference. I feel extremely fulfilled within myself. I'm happy, I'm not kidding, I'm blessed.
Speaker 1:Now I also read that you started to reunite with some family members. How has that journey been?
Speaker 2:Oh boy, it's been the most exciting adventure of it all. Reuniting with my family members was hard because I actually had to let them know the truth, not only about me but with us as a family. And nobody wants to know about themselves. But their thinkers they're glad I made them aware of because they didn't see it and I have nothing but blessings from them. Only one family member, ashley, came to hear me speak only because I think I'll be still careful with it, because every family don't wanna really know the truth of what's going on within the family. So I'm still careful of who I speak in front of, how I speak, from the age group, everything. You have to be aware of all this, because telling your story everybody can't handle it and I might can't handle it, so I have to do the self-care for myself too.
Speaker 1:And how is your son doing?
Speaker 2:My son is blossoming. He think I can save the world. Every time I turn around, he's trying to say if someone didn't say, I'm gonna let you speak to my mom or I'm gonna give you my mom, here's my mom. I'm gonna give you a fanboy. It's your crazy, but I do help him. He is so proud of me. He think I can save the world.
Speaker 1:Well, you definitely are making a very large impact, so I don't disagree at all, and so what would you say to a young woman that may be listening to this that's going through some of the tough times that you went through, if you're going through these tough times, it's for a reason.
Speaker 2:Remember the tough times, because they're the one that's gonna help you with your future. They're gonna guide you, they're gonna make sure you stay where you need to be, because if you try to forget, you're just gonna reoccur. So remember what you're gonna do. And there is hope, my hope, my dreams. My road is not yours. You have to get your own. Never allow no one to give you theirs. You have to have to have your own. Your hopes are yours, everything is your own, and once you decide that you are responsible for you, it's gonna work Long as you know you first, you first.
Speaker 2:You cannot do anything without knowing yourself first. Get yourself together. If you have questions, get them answered. Do everything before you put yourself out there to try to understand anybody else, how they did it and what they did. Learn yourself first, and then it will become easier. This is not easy. This is not easy at all. I'm not gonna lie to you. This is not easy and it won't be easy. But if you know yourself, it can get you along the way. I cannot say enough of learn yourself. Do self care, because without you, nobody else can learn, you cannot teach nobody. You cannot speak to nobody. Please learn yourself first.
Speaker 1:Wow, Anette. I think that's a great way to end this conversation we're having. You are beautiful inside and out. I am amazed by what you've been able to accomplish and how many people that you're helping in the community, so I wanna thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. Would you please put my email in this and everything, so I don't care where you at, who you are. If you need to contact me, please do.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I will make sure that that is available for anybody that wants to reach out to you and speak to you personally.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1:All right. Well, thank you, and I really appreciated speaking with you.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you for having me. Thank you, bye, bye.
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