Have you ever found yourself falling into the comparison trap? We've been there, too, and in this episode, we address the destructive effects of this habit. Along with sharing our personal experiences, we offer practical tips to help you break free from comparing your life to others. We also discuss the importance of inspecting your chapstick collection for harmful ingredients and ponder the reality of the days becoming shorter and darker. Oh, and let's not forget the age-old maxim, "aging ain't for sissies." Let's laugh, learn, and grow together in this fun-filled and thought-provoking episode.
What happens when you stumble upon a Buddhist temple in the middle of Ohio? Or when you come face-to-face with a robot head in Columbus? Come with us as we recount our hilarious and unexpected road trip experiences. From the sudden onset of winter in Chicago to the awe-inspiring beauty of the Frank Lloyd Wright Falling Water home in Pittsburgh, we weave tales of laughter, amazement, and the occasional challenges of night driving.
Have you ever found yourself falling into the comparison trap? We've been there, too, and in this episode, we address the destructive effects of this habit. Along with sharing our personal experiences, we offer practical tips to help you break free from comparing your life to others. We also discuss the importance of inspecting your chapstick collection for harmful ingredients and ponder the reality of the days becoming shorter and darker. Oh, and let's not forget the age-old maxim, "aging ain't for sissies." Let's laugh, learn, and grow together in this fun-filled and thought-provoking episode.
What happens when you stumble upon a Buddhist temple in the middle of Ohio? Or when you come face-to-face with a robot head in Columbus? Come with us as we recount our hilarious and unexpected road trip experiences. From the sudden onset of winter in Chicago to the awe-inspiring beauty of the Frank Lloyd Wright Falling Water home in Pittsburgh, we weave tales of laughter, amazement, and the occasional challenges of night driving.
Welcome to the AJ and A Versissi's Podcast. My name is Marcie Beggis and I am your host. Well, welcome to the AJ and A Versissi's Podcast. I am recording this on the first day of the time change, so that would be Sunday. I hope we have all made it through.
Speaker 1:You know, I live in Chicago downtown. I saw that our sun should be setting at 440. That is sunset, not the start of it. That is sunset 440. The interesting thing about living downtown is that the buildings block so much of the sun when it's so low, so it's dark a lot. I think I need to get a light this week. Anyways, we'll talk about that a little bit more.
Speaker 1:Finishing up my road trip that I took A lot of fun. I want to share that with you. Some places you may want to go, and then we're going to talk about comparing ourselves to other. Do you do it as much at this age as you did when you were younger? Is it worse? Is it better? I don't know. We'll chat about it. Sit back, let's see. If you're somewhere you can grab a nice tea, go ahead. Otherwise, get a coffee or a mocha a mint mocha, which is my favorite holiday drink and sit back and listen. Alrighty, let's see.
Speaker 1:We missed the first snow here in Chicago. It happened on Halloween and we were in Pittsburgh on Halloween, so we did not get the first snow of the season. The funniest part about that first snow was the week before, was the day that Craig and I went out bike riding and it was 80 degrees along the lake front. So when people say Chicago, the weather can change quick, yes, it can, and it can change back. It was 60 degrees today. It's now 56 out. I can see on my little I'm not going to say the name because she'll wake up, but you know my little device. Anyways, I we finished up our road trip this week. We had left on Sunday.
Speaker 1:When I spoke to you last, we were in Cleveland and we had done the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which was amazing. The next day we drove down to Pittsburgh, stayed right on the river. Pittsburgh's not a lot to talk about, but we did stay right on the river. We walked across the bridge, there were some good eating places, we took the funicular up the hill on Halloween and watched kids trick or treat and all these fabulous old Pittsburgh homes. One of them was done up quite spectacularly Seemed to be a real hub for the kids and it was just fun to see them all. We had a great dinner at a little restaurant up there and enjoyed that. But our point of staying in Pittsburgh was because we went to the Frank Lloyd Wright falling water home. It's a house and if you've never been there I suggest you put that on your bucket list.
Speaker 1:Craig being an architect, his father being an architect, and both of them staunch students of Frank Lloyd Wright, this was something that had been on Craig's bucket list for a very long time and when our Israel trip got canceled we thought we should do a little something. I'll tell you, I love a road trip. Always have my mom and dad lived up in Oregon from when I was like 21 on, so when I had kids. Honestly, I drove my daughter up there when she was like six months old. I know I five like the back of my hand between Grants Pass and well, I know it all the way up to Portland from living up there now, but between Grants Pass and Orange County, la, I know that I five like nobody's business and I've always loved a road trip. If you are not a big road trip person, you should try it. Take a few little short ones, they don't have to be long. The nice thing now is we can make the days a little shorter, although we didn't on the last day coming home we pushed it and I do all the driving because Craig, I fondly call Mr Magoo and I cannot let him drive. The blessing is I love to drive, but the older we get, the more tired we get, and I don't know about you.
Speaker 1:Funny to talk about some of the things in aging. I don't like driving at night as much. The lights I have an astigmatism anyways which has always given a halo or a little sparkle to the lights. You add that on with aging and night vision and night, but I guess they call it night blindness. I don't have night blindness by any means, but it's annoying. And if it's raining it's even worse because lights are bouncing off the ground and I don't know if any of you are experiencing now, but it is something that I experienced and I know a lot of my friends have it so funny when you were younger. I don't know if you remember older people saying you know I don't like driving at night. Well, I don't like driving at night, but I do it, and unfortunately on our way home I had to do it for quite a while and now that the time change, we're all going to have to drive in the dark a lot earlier. As it goes into Christmas and the holiday season and into deep December, january, we know those days just get shorter and shorter. So that's a little bit about my night driving.
Speaker 1:We did stop at quite a few of our spectacular little funny things that we find off our little website. One of them was this fabulous Buddha temple, buddhist temple, very colorful, in the middle of Ohio, ohio, little Middle class neighborhood, just this little simple neighborhood, maybe lower middle class neighborhood, I don't know, I can't tell anymore. Anyhow, just little, tiny homes, little one story homes. And you turn the corner and there's this fabulous Buddhist temple. And we stopped there. We stopped and saw this funny robot head on this big sign. He was cute. He looked like those 1950 robots, you know, the things sticking out their necks and everything, the antennas. That was fun. And then we found this fabulous in Columbus, ohio, on one of the bridges, driving bridges over the city, near a park and their science museum. They have a deer that is a bronze sculpture and he's standing looking over the bridge, so we took some pictures with the deer. There was a few more things to stop, but that was a long day driving and we decided not to. I think we also drove. Craig made me go see where the Buckeye Ohio State campus was. Why, I don't know. I could care less, but we did do that.
Speaker 1:You know we have to give and take a little on these driving trips. One of the main things about a driving trips is snacks. Snacks are super important and Craig and I have completely different snack needs and loves. Craig loves a meat stick. Now I know when the kids, when we did driving trips when they were little, they just couldn't stand the smell of dad's meat sticks. Me, on the other hand, I am addicted to cinnamon bears. They're gummy bears that are cinnamon. They're my favorite. I have to have them on a road trip and I always have to have a diet coat. Craig always has to have coffee, coffee and meat sticks. Sorry, it just does not go together for me, but they do for Craig and for me it's always a diet. I have to have a diet coke and he has to have a coffee all the time. I mean literally we have one in our hand all the time. So those were our road trip snacks and we did have about an hour and a half drive down to the Frank Lloyd Wright Falling Water Home house.
Speaker 1:The amazing thing about this house is it was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright for a family as their getaway. They owned a department store in Pittsburgh very famous, very wealthy family and this home is just beautiful. And he built it over the waterfall and we were very blessed. It was a very chilly fall morning but the fall colors were there. It had been raining for four weeks. We had no rain that day, but the waterfall in the stream were running high and the sounds were beautiful. One of the things to know about this home is that it stayed in their family and they had an only son, never married, had a partner, and they gave the house to the Pennsylvania Conservancy. It's not in the Frank Lloyd Wright Conservancies, it's in the Pennsylvania and he was also there.
Speaker 1:Some was also a museum curator. So he has created, curated this home with all of the family's belongings. Quite magnificent, interesting, one of the largest pours of continuous concrete on this Cover of a walkway. It's spectacular. There are stairs that come out of the living room and go down to the creek, just just mind blowing. And all the original textiles, the books the family read the child, everything that the family used. He curated it just like if the family was still there. It is, by rights, one of the greatest things to go see in the United States, I would say.
Speaker 1:So if you're ever out that way, I suggest you take a look at the tour. Take a look. Definitely it sells out to the tour sell out. We were on an early morning tour and the early morning tours are the only ones hold on. You know little sip here that get to go in the kitchen. There were only eight in our tour. We did a small tour and we were also allowed to take photographs inside. And that's not on all the tour. So take a look, figure it out. Excuse me, but I suggest adding that to your repertoire at some time.
Speaker 1:But road trips, I'm always going to talk about them, we always take them. One of the great things about living here in Chicago now is we have a new jumping off point. Obviously, if you live in California, driving to Pennsylvania is quite a to do, or to Ohio, to the. It's not for us, we are, you know. It gives us a whole new jumping off point in California. We had done most of the drives that you could do in a timely fashion from there and, as you all know, I drove all the way to Chicago when we moved here with my kiddies. And then last year over the winter I left and took a six week road trip to California and spent time with friends and drove back. So I do love a road trip. I'm good at them. If you have questions, please, you can always send your questions to agingbast1, the number one at gmailcom. I'm happy to answer any. I'm happy to give you sites to see along the way. Just email me and I'm happy to help you with any of that.
Speaker 1:I will tell you, as you all know, my trip to Israel was canceled but Craig and I through the same, with the same group maybe not as big a group from our church in California, but we are going to go to Greece in April, very excited about that. Also going to go to River Cruise, to the Christmas markets, at the beginning of next year from this December, so December 2024, with Craig's cousin and her husband as well as one of Craig's sisters. So we've booked that, paid for that, excited about that. So between those two trips. There'll probably be a couple of road trips. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do this winter, if I'm going to hang out here in Chicago or if I'm going to escape. I'm not going to pre-plan it. I figure if the weather gets bad and I hate it, I'll be out. So that's what's happening with me this.
Speaker 1:Last week we got home, went back to my water aerobics. As you all know, I am the proponent for water aerobics. If you have hated exercise your whole life, I'm telling you, try it. It'll change your life. If you've got something you love doing, that's great. If you don't, if you struggled, like me, trying to do all different kinds of things and never really liking it and never understanding why people liked exercising, try water aerobics. And it's hard and I suggest trying that. And, like me, I was there Saturday. I go every day I can possibly go, so that's usually four times a week and it's made an intense difference in my life, my pain levels, the quality of my life, so hopefully it'll do the same for you.
Speaker 1:So what are we going to talk about in the body of our podcast today? Well, I had been thinking about something and I did some research on it and I thought you know when, when I was younger, I compared myself always to other people. And it's funny because you'll find that you compare the worst part of you to the best part of others. And as we get older, I don't know if we do that as much. I think there is still a little bit there. So I thought I'd talk about it, talk about ways to avoid that and if it's something you struggle with, stick, stick and listen. If it's something you don't struggle with, god bless you. You are an amazing human being, because I think it's human nature to compare ourselves. But sit back again, refill that coffee or that iced tea or that diet coat and have a listen. All right, let's talk about comparing ourselves to others. Do you do it? Did you do it when you were younger? Did you do it more when you were younger?
Speaker 1:Most of I've spent most of my life probably comparing myself to others. You know, in the beginning it was school and other things and as I got older jobs, income level, house size, car driving, just everything and it's such a destructive thing. It doesn't allow you to enjoy what you have when you're always looking outwards. There's an infinite number of categories which we can compare ourselves to other people, and I think I've. I don't compare myself as much since I've gotten older. I know that with social media, for a lot of people that's a comparison. It's why I try to be really honest and last week I spoke about my issues with my oldest child On social media.
Speaker 1:I've put up when I've fallen on my face and I bruised it. I've put up when I'm in the hospital. I put up all my good things. I put up my bad things. I try and because I don't want anybody to ever compare themselves to something, thinking my life is a certain way when it's really not. But I can say this the issues with my oldest daughter, with standing things for me are going really well and it feels really good. And I'm trying to focus inward and not outward. Part of that is my working out and feeling better about myself. Once I feel better about myself I could put my best self out in the world.
Speaker 1:Funny enough, I lived here for a year and just thought I'll never make any acquaintances here. I won't get into a routine. As much as I tried, and as much as I tried to keep a positive outlook last year really sucked for me. I ended up in the hospital twice here emergency, all kinds of things and once I started looking at myself, working on myself, focusing on me and not everything else. It's so funny how everything else started to come. I now have all my acquaintances at my gym, my church. I can walk down the street and run into people I know now. I was at the nail salon the other day and my friend Jackie, this really eccentric, great woman that lives in the building that I've become friends with. I walked in to get my nails done and Jackie's like hey, marcy, but that didn't come from outward, that came from inward.
Speaker 1:So our tendency to compare ourselves to other is human and it's an emotion and it's something we certainly do. I know I'm not alone, but this decision, it definitely steals joy from our life. Just know that it's not good. And so let's talk about ways. Comparisons are always unfair, that is fact, unfair. We typically compare the worst parts, like I said, of ourselves to the best that we presume in others. Comparisons, by definition, require metrics, but only a fool believes every good thing can be counted or measured. It can't, as we know, it cannot all be measured. Comparisons rob us of precious time. We each get 86,400 seconds each day, and using even one of those seconds to compare yourself to others' accomplishments to anything else is one second too many.
Speaker 1:You are too unique to compare fairly. I think we tell all our kids this and don't even listen to ourselves. Your gifts, your talents, your successes, your contributions and value are entirely unique to you and your purpose in this world. They can never be properly compared to anyone else. Did you hear that? You are unique and can never be properly compared to anyone else? You have nothing to gain, but you have a lot to lose. You can lose your pride, your dignity, your drive and your passion. Who wants to lose all that? We work too hard. There is no end to the possibility of number of comparisons. It's just infinite. It just can go on and on. Comparison puts focus on the wrong person. You can control one life and that's yours, but when we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, we waste precious energy focusing on other people's lives rather than our own.
Speaker 1:Comparisons often result in resentment towards others and towards ourselves. Comparisons deprive us of joy. I don't know about you. I've deprived myself of a lot of joy in this life, not just by this, but by many other things. At this age. I'm turning 63. I no longer want to deprive myself of joy. I don't want things in my life that are joy suckers. Well, I'm married to one, but he's getting better. He brings a lot of joy, but he can suck it right out too. So you know, I'll keep him though, but I don't want that in my life. I don't want negativity.
Speaker 1:If you have things that are negative in your life, get rid of them, even if it's people. Even if it's people. You do not have to keep people in your life that bring negativity. Although you've tried with them and tried with them, let them go. Indeed, the negative effects of comparisons are wide and far-reaching. Likely, you've experienced many of them first-hand in your life as well. How, then, can we break free of this habit of comparisons?
Speaker 1:I'm going to give you a few tips. Beware of its ill effects. Take notice of the harmful effects of comparing yourself to others in your life Intentionally. Remove it from inside out to free yourself from the damage of this mindset that it has on you. Ok, so take notice how it hurts you from the inside out. See your own successes.
Speaker 1:Whether you're a writer or a musician, it doesn't matter what you are You're. If you're a podcaster, look at your own things and start patting yourself on the back for things that go well, and those can be little things during the day, and the older you get the things can be smaller. It doesn't mean they're less significant. Become intimately aware of your past successes. Your past successes are still part of you, and if you didn't celebrate those past successes, I suggest that you do that now. If there was something in your life that went really really well and you just let it slide by, to enjoy it now and find motivation in all of these successes to pursue more. It doesn't matter how old you are, you can have successes. I started this podcast when I was in my 60s. I wouldn't say it's successful yet, but it's getting there and the people that listen to it seem to really love it and I get really good feedback and I appreciate that Feedback is important. Somebody once taught me that feedback is a gift, so I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:Desire greater things in your life. Some of the greatest treasures in this world are hidden from sight. Love, humility, empathy, selflessness, generosity. Among these higher pursuits, there is no measurement. Desire them above everything else and remove yourself entirely from society's definition of success. You can't put somebody else's definition of success on your successes. We are all unique and individual, compete less and appreciate more. There are many times when competition is appropriate, but life is not one of them. We have all been thrown together at this exact moment on this exact planet, and the sooner we stop competing against each other to win, the faster we can start working together to figure it out. And, trust me, there's a lot to figure out and you need to give these gifts to your children and our young people.
Speaker 1:The first and most important step in overcoming the habit of competition is to routinely appreciate and compliment the contributions of others. I work with someone named Shane and I know he listens to this sometime. There is no better cheerleader in this world for people like me, better cheerleader in this world for people than Shane. Shane recognizes the good in everyone, and he doesn't just recognize it. He tells them, whether it's somebody working at McDonald's or a CEO of a company. He doesn't differentiate. He gives everybody kudos and he is my greatest cheerleader. He is so good to me and he reminds me of all the good that I have and that I am, and I can't thank him enough.
Speaker 1:You need to practice gratitude. Gratitude always forces us to recognize the good things we have already have in our world, and no matter little or how big gratitude is important. Remind yourself that nobody's perfect. If you had parents that expect perfection, mine didn't. Mine didn't even know I existed half the time, I think. But if you did have that type of upbringing, shake it off. Well, focusing on the negatives is rarely helpful as focusing on the positives there's an important space to be found, remembering that nobody is perfect and nobody is living a painless life. Triumph requires an obstacle to be overcome and everybody is suffering through their own, whether you are close enough to know it or not.
Speaker 1:Take a walk Next time you find yourself comparing yourself. Take a walk, shake it off and think of your good things. Find inspiration without comparison. Comparing our lives with others is foolish, but finding inspiration and learning from others is entirely wise. Work hard to learn the difference Humbly. Ask questions of the people you admire and read biographies as inspiration. But if comparison is a constant tendency in your life, notice that attitudes prompt positive excuse me, notice which attitudes prompt positive change in which result in negative influence.
Speaker 1:Compare with yourself If you're going to compare. Compare to yourself. See where you were, see where you've gone. Work hard to take care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. Commit to growing a little bit each day and learn to celebrate the life advancements you are making without comparing them to others.
Speaker 1:Stop comparing yourself to everyone else's highlight reels. I think that's the most important thing. Everybody puts out their highlight reel. What's a highlight reel? Think about it. It's the best parts of a movie they show you before a movie. A highlight reel is the best of the Olympics, the best of anything is always has a highlight reel and don't compare your life to someone else's highlight reel.
Speaker 1:I hope that was helpful for you today as we're going to go into a season where we're going to talk a little bit more about, as the coming weeks come up, about the holidays and how to look at the holidays and other ways to enjoy the holidays families, friends, all of that stuff that comes along with this time of year. It's not always a happy time of year for everyone and I'm hoping to help the people who find this not be a happy time of year. And as you get older, things change, holidays change. I long for the time when my kids were home and I knew what the holidays were going to look like. It doesn't have a look anymore and I'm learning to figure that out and hopefully I'll help you guys figure that out too. I think in the next coming weeks we're going to also talk to Craig's audiologist about hearing aids and hearing and listening and all of that kind of thing. He's awesome. I really like him, he's adorable and he's been a great resource for us and a help for us, so I want to share him with you. I have a few other people coming up in the weeks to come, so keep listening, keep sharing this podcast with people you think would be helped by it.
Speaker 1:It's not just senior citizens. I have a lot of young listeners and I think every episode has something, no matter what your age is, to take away. You can find my podcast wherever you find podcasts. So if you've come across this somehow you can get one wherever podcasts are. I'm on all platforms as well, as you can go to my website, wwwagingaintforcissiespodcastcom, and you can get all kinds of information there, and all of my podcasts are there, every single one of them. You can go back and you can start from the beginning. If you haven't listened to the Dead Marcy notebook it's a highly recommended one and the Swedish Death Claim two of my favorites and obviously two of yours, because those are my highest rated, I think, because they have death in them and people are always looking for murder podcasts.
Speaker 1:But don't have a senior moment this week. I didn't have a chance to find something that I thought you would like, but I'm hoping that last week's senior moment, talking about chapsticks and all those things that dry out our lips with this cold weather coming, was helpful to you. I went through all of mine. I took out everything that had a bad ingredient and kept everything with a good ingredient. I don't know about you, but I have accumulated a ton of lip balms and things People give them as gifts. You get them in a little thing, I don't know whatever, but I went through and pulled out all the yucky stuff and kept only the good stuff, so I hope you did that too. Thanks for listening. Holiday season is starting. It is now 4.37 here in Chicago and it is getting dark and all the lights are coming on, so we are in the season of the depths of darkness. All right, everybody, thanks for listening, and remember what I always say aging ain't for sissies. We are not guys.