Turning the Page to a Year of Intentional Growth and Change

As the snowflakes tenderly kissed the ground on New Year's Eve, my husband Craig and I found warmth in a shared serenity, an evening of reflection marked by a snowy stroll and the nostalgic episodes of the Twilight Zone. It's these quiet moments of introspection that I invite you to join on our latest podcast, where I discuss the transformative power of setting intentions over resolutions, a method that has profoundly reshaped my approach to welcoming the New Year. Venturing beyond the usual festivities, I'll take you through the personal milestones that have dotted the past year, from the joy of reuniting with my son Alec to the complex emotions surrounding my estrangement from my eldest, Kyle. In the spirit of fresh beginnings and continual growth, we'll share in the beauty of embracing change as we step into 2024 together.

With intentions firmly in place, expect a peek into the evolution of our podcast, which will soon extend its reach onto YouTube, bringing a visual dimension to the vibrant conversations we've cultivated. In the breadth of this episode, I'll walk you through setting intentions closely tied to your core values and share actionable steps on how to live a more intentional life, drawing from personal anecdotes including my newfound passion for aquasculpt and the health journey that followed my accident. And while we've all felt the weight of years pressing upon us, I'm here to celebrate the resilience and strength we gain with age. Tune in for an episode that promises to be as heartfelt as it is inspiring—your guide to welcoming a year full of clarity and purpose.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Hello and welcome to the AJ and A Persistence Podcast. My name is Marcy Backes and I am your host. Well, it's New Year's, so I am recording this New Year's Eve 2023. Tomorrow morning, when it's dropped and you guys can listen, It'll be 2024.

Speaker 1: 0:23

So what we're going to go over again this year is we're going to talk about setting intentions, and I'm going to talk about the intentions I set last year and how that was different for me than setting a resolution, and if you didn't do it last year, I suggest you do it this year. It was really, really beneficial. So sit back, we'll catch up on what's been going on with me and then we'll talk about setting our New Year's intentions. Couldn't be better than the first day of a New Year's 2020. Yeah, New Year's Eve. Let's see, it's 6.42 pm. Craig and I have already been out to dinner, We've walked in the snow, We've come home, we're sitting here watching Twilight Zone, which is my very favorite, and if you don't know, on New Year's even New Year's Day they do a marathon on the sci-fi network, which is my favorite, because it's one after another, after another, and I'm a Twilight Zone fanatic, so it's kind of fun. They also do it on 4th of July, but that is our New Year's Eve, Looking out into the beautiful city of Chicago. Tonight there's going to be tons of fireworks at midnight. I don't know if I'll be awake or asleep, but we'll see, or they may wake me up. There's going to be so many this year. Let's see what's been going on with me.

Speaker 1: 1:44

So I didn't record one over Christmas weekend and I apologize for that, but life was busy. My son, Alec, came into town and we just had a great time. He was here for three days, left on Christmas Day in the evening, and what a great time it was having him here in a city that he already loves. It's a city that he went to school and he went to the Art Institute for college. So he loves this city. He's been coming since he was a kid.

Speaker 1: 2:13

We did a lot of fun things. We went to oh, we went to the Kris Kindle Christmas Market and they have this cheesy sandwich that I can't even explain to you. They have these hot wheels of cheese that they keep under heat and then they just scrape off the melted cheese onto your sandwich. It is out of this world. It was delicious, we enjoyed that. We walked out on Navy Pier and saw the decorations we ate at Carson's Christmas Day. We had a wonderful day. My sister-in-law came over, we played games, we went out for dinner, we came back and we watched Christmas with the cranks, which I just love. That. I love anything. Jamie Lee Curtis is in. I just loved that movie. It was just a real delight.

Speaker 1: 2:58

We got back into our place after being out and about for three weeks while remodel was taking place and our home looks beautiful. We redid our kitchen in our bathroom and now our place is completely done. It feels so good, it feels so homey. Now it feels like ours and I'm really enjoying that. So beautiful kitchen, beautiful bathroom, a walk-in shower, which, the older you get, having a tub shower is not great. I can't even remember I was talking to Craig. I don't think we've even had a house, except for our first house in Venice Beach that had a shoved, a shoved tower, a shower tub combination. So it was great to upgrade that to a walk-in shower, something that was definitely needed. I have enjoyed being home. We have some friends coming over tomorrow to play games and have snacks on New Year's Day.

Speaker 1: 3:57

I hope that your last few weeks have been good. There's been a lot going on. That's not to say that there aren't ups and downs. As you've known and as I've talked about, our oldest child, Kyle, has decided that Kyle does not want Craig and I in Kyle's life, in their life. So that's been a tough one this year. But if that's the way that Kyle wants it, then that's the way it will be, and it gives me more time with Alec. That's all I can say. I don't know what to say. That's a rough one, but Kyle is a child of God and I have given Kyle back to God and I have done what I can and God knows that. So we'll see if God has some other plans for us in the future. But until then, if you don't hear me talk about Kyle or you don't see pictures on my social media of Kyle, it's Kyle's choice, not mine.

Speaker 1: 4:57

I look back at this year and all in all other than the Kyle issues, it was a great year for me. I finally got myself out of my funk. One of my intentions this year was to try to get healthier, and I didn't know what that looked like. And I didn't know what it was gonna look like, because intentions, as we talk about in a little bit are different than a resolution. I just had the intention of getting better.

Speaker 1: 5:26

As most of you know, for seven years or it's been eight years I was in a car accident and just the pain that was left over from that was chronic and it was awful and it made me feel awful. It didn't help my attitude. It didn't help my eating right, I fed into it and I was like I got quite heavy for me and that didn't help and all kinds of things. So this year, with the intentions of this, I talked with my doctor, made some changes and I'm down 45 pounds and I work out four times a week. And the working out four times a week was because I found something that I truly love and that is aquasculpt, which is like a form of water aerobics. Water aerobics it's very hard, it's not your grandma's aerobics, I can tell you that, but there's women in it. So from that water aerobics I've got a group of friends. All of these things all in all is what I'm trying to say has created a very happy life for me, has created a very help in my attitude, feeling better about myself, stopping the negative talk. All of that is a well. It's just because of the changes I've made.

Speaker 1: 6:44

And my sister in law or my niece in law my niece Angie goes to the gym. She works out so hard, she's so amazing. She is my role model and I never thought I could have the passion that she has for working out and I do, and I thank her for that, because she posts every day. She posts what she's doing and it gave me the courage and the ability to find that too. So all I can say is I'm turning 63 in a couple of weeks. I also will be 36 years sober in a week, and you can do anything you wanna do, put your mind to it, and you honestly can, and I'm saying that coming from a place of having done it. I love feeling healthy. I love feeling better. What it brings to my life is so much more. My son, the rock climber I said I wanna try rock climbing in a gym when I come see him. If I ever do have grandchildren, I will be in much better shape for them.

Speaker 1: 7:48

These are all the things that have come from an intention that I set at the beginning of the year. The other intention that I set at the beginning of the year was to not end up in the hospital this year and I'm happy I'm sitting here in bed, so I've got what? Six more hours to go. I did not get admitted to the hospital once this year. I did have two emergency visits, brief as they were, but I was not admitted to the hospital, and that was super important to me. To meet that goal, I followed up with all of my doctors. I have continued doing all the things I'm supposed to be doing and I'm happy to say, the intentions that I set for this year have been successful for me.

Speaker 1: 8:36

So, let's, that's enough about me. You don't want to hear anymore about me. You know we're all getting older. I just don't want to get older, older. I want to get older and better, and that's what this podcast is all about is giving you guys the energy to keep moving forward and teaching you things and learning new things. This year coming up, we're going to have a lot of new speakers. I'm going to bring back some of our old favorites. I'm getting my calendar set. If there's something that you want me to talk about, if there is something that you need an expert on, give me an email. You can email me at agingfastone, the number one at gmailcom. You can also go to my website and you can send me a note through there which is wwwaging8forSissy'spodcastcom. I have all kinds of information there, but that's what this is about. This is a podcast. If you're younger, if you're older, it's to live your best life.

Speaker 1: 9:34

So, with that being said, let's break into setting intentions. All right, we're going into 2024. What is it that you want? What is it that you desire? So last year, I read all about this setting intentions versus setting a resolution. And why would you do that? Well, let me tell you something Resolutions never work very rarely and they give you a reason to fail.

Speaker 1: 9:59

An intention is just something very simple. It's an intention. You're not saying you're going to do it completely. It's your intention, and by setting an intention, you have the ability to have something that's not a fail. Your new year's resolutions fail because they discount the fact that you're a human. Life happens and you can't predict circumstances outside of your control. Resolutions pressure you to focus on checking the box rather than reevaluating the circumstances. Think about that. When you set an absolute resolution, where does that leave you in out? Where does that leave you any flexibility? It doesn't. But an intention gives you the ability to flex, the ability to change what your intention is. So a new year's intention under the same values that you set you'd like to live an active lifestyle. An intention focuses so much more on the core value itself than how you achieve it. So that's exactly it.

Speaker 1: 11:04

My intention this year was to not go to the hospital and be checked in. Really, how do you achieve that? Well, you go day by day, and I achieved it. It was an intention. But why is it important to set an intention? It helps you get clear about the ways in which you'd like your life to be different. Do you want your marriage to be different? Do you want your relationships to be different? Do you want your friendships to be different? How do you want your life to be different Without setting intentions for the New Year's?

Speaker 1: 11:41

You continue to fall into old habits, patterns of behavior that you leave you in the exact same place you are today. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be stagnant, and I think the most important thing, as we're getting older, is to not stay stagnant. Stagnant ages you and you die sooner, that's. I'm going to flat out say it If you are not evolving, if you are not changing as you are growing. We don't just grow when we're a child, we grow our whole life, and if you continue that growth, you're going to live longer. So I want you to think about that.

Speaker 1: 12:18

So how do you set a New Year's intention? First step we're going to go step by step here. So the first step is divine your core values, Since your New Year's intentions are a reflection of your core values and your declaration to live more fully into them. You got to be crystal clear on what is important to you in life in order for this to be a useful exercise. So maybe you value physical health and well-being, but we've made it a habit of unhealthy food choices that you'd like to change. Maybe you value calm and mindfulness, but you're over committed yourself to so many different areas in your life. You can't have that. Maybe you value connection and positive relationships, but you found your tribe and want to spend more time with like-minded people. I'm sorry you haven't found your tribe. I found my tribe this year, not even intentionally, and found a tribe of people here. You must understand your values in order to create a fulfilling life. Maybe all three of those are your values.

Speaker 1: 13:21

Here are three things you can do right now to clarify your values. Create your ingredient list for joy and meeting. Write out an ingredient list of joy and meeting. Ask yourself, when things are going really well, what does it look like? Okay, what does it look like to you? Categorize it into groups of values. Categorize the things that came up in your list from above into different groups of values. For example, if your list had things like I make time to read, I take a new course, I watch documentaries, then learning and growth may be one of your core values. So look at them and identify what your core value is, All right.

Speaker 1: 14:07

Step two choose your focus. So you can improve everything all at once, but you can choose one of those as your focus. So look at that. Think about which one needs the most attention to get you closer to your version of a 10-10 life. Is it your physical health, Is it your mental health or mindfulness? I'll tell you this year, getting my physical health in. It's my mental health I'm going to work on this year. My intentions when I did my list came up to focus on my mental health, being more present. So look at those.

Speaker 1: 14:45

Step three set your new year's intentions. So now you're going to look at all of this. If you've chosen physical health as an area that needs the most focus in the new year, choose a phrase that gets you fired up and brings you into your intention. Perhaps it's to live an active lifestyle, to fuel my body, to challenge my limits or to optimize my athletic performance. And make sure your intention doesn't make you cringe. You have to. An intention has to be something that makes you feel good. It brings joy to you. You really want this intention to be a part of it.

Speaker 1: 15:29

So, by doing those three key things, the fourth thing is to make it visual. If you're going to remember to follow through on your intention, it's important to write it down. Put sticky notes somewhere, write it in your phone where you can look at it again. I'm watching my cat. She's making me laugh right now because she's trapped in the room with me because I'm doing this in the bedroom and she wants to get out. But you're going to have to wait, Pickles. You're just going to have to wait. So write these things down. Make your actions. And step five is make your actions and your decisions from a place of intention. So Be intentional about your life, Be intentional about what you do. Don't fly by the seat of your pants.

Speaker 1: 16:15

One of the things that really helped me this year and I had started it the year before was creating a meal plan for Craig and I, and my sister, Cindy, is really good at this and she gave me some meals that she creates I also. I do Hello Fresh. I have two or three meals delivered a week that are planned and then I plan out the rest. Sometimes you get, you know, we do go out and eat. What I've done this year is I never finish anything that I get eating out. Either I eat half of it and I take the other half home, but I do not finish what I am given. I look at it this way If I and served a great meal let's say it's a lasagna and I take half home and it was delicious, I get to enjoy that again. So that was an intentional intention on my part. So by eating better and having good things in the house and allowing myself sweet treats I love sweet treats. I don't overdo it anymore I allow myself one of those little mini cones from Trader Joe's and I have that. If I want to, I have to, but I am there and it's become a habit now and I'm enjoying that habit.

Speaker 1: 17:31

So think and do things intentionally. When you're out, ask for that. If learning to eat half of your meal is something you want to do, get that to-go box right. When you get your food, ask them for the to-go box, put half of it in the box and you know what's funny, you never miss it Half the time. I don't even eat it when it's home, I have to be honest. I end up throwing it away, but it's there. Just look at everything you're doing and be intentional about it.

Speaker 1: 18:01

If you're gonna go back to the gym after the first of the year, try a class. Try three different things, three different ways to work out. Figure out what is right for you, Because I'm telling you when you hit that sweet spot my best friend Lynn she loves Pilates and she loves her stair stepper and those things she can do because she enjoys them. Find what you love and you will enjoy it. Also, this year I bought an electric bike. It's not 100% electric, it's pedal assist. I didn't want one with the throttle and all that because I was afraid I'd hurt myself. But get yourself a bike. Get yourself a pedal assist bike. It only assists when you want it to. You push the buttons. Other than that, you can ride it like a regular bike and if you stop pedaling during pedal assist, it won't assist you anymore. So look at different things, Find different ways to enjoy yourself the beauty of getting out of the pain and from working out and losing weight.

Speaker 1: 19:00

My pain level is down to a zero most days. Some days a one I'm able to walk and it allows me to walk in the city. The other day I was going to my water aerobics class on Saturday, which I try to go whenever I can, and it was 30 degrees out and I was walking and I had texted my friend. I'm like who am I? It's a Saturday, I'm going to the gym to work out and I'm walking there in 30 degree weather. Like who am I? I couldn't even drive to the gym in California, for God's sakes, but now I'm walking in 30 degree weather. So if you think your life can't change, you're wrong. It can change and it can change in good ways.

Speaker 1: 19:38

Craig and I moved here. I was 61 when we moved here. I'm turning 63. Well, I've been here six, two years, six years, Two years. If somebody had told me I loved the city life, I don't think I would have agreed, let alone in a city that gets cold. I love it here. I'm happy, I'm finding my happy place. I set my intentions this year and I followed through with them. I'm setting new intentions next year for my mental health because, honestly, having a child walk away from you messes with your mental health and it is something that I need to deal with this year so that I don't do any sliding back in all the areas that I've moved forward. But I'm not going to allow that to make me unhappy. I'm turning 63. This is the end of my life. That's my third act. I guess you say, or whatever, but these are my last summers, these are my last winters, these are my last holidays, and I'm not saying I'm going to die tomorrow, but you never know, and I'm not going to let this bring me down. I'm going to live my best life.

Speaker 1: 20:42

Craig and I have two trips already planned for next year. We are going to Greece and we are going to the German Christmas markets next Christmas and in between there, as you know, Craig and I, I'll be hopping all around February. I always go to Arizona, so I'll be headed there. So, Angie and David, get ready. I'll be giving you a call to set up my dates for February. I, hopefully, am going to see some friends while I'm there as well, Maybe drive into the Palm Desert and spend a little bit of time there. But whatever it is, I'm going to enjoy this year. It's going to be a good year for Craig and I. We are living our best life at this point.

Speaker 1: 21:21

So set those intentions, Live intentionally. Don't live by the seat of your pants. Choose things intentionally, Do things intentionally. Oh, the other thing I got a camera from Craig this Christmas. I've been wanting to start photography, so that's going to be my new hobby going into 2024. I love taking pictures. I love, love, love it. So I'm excited to have a camera and learn that. Use my brain, learn something new.

Speaker 1: 21:49

We're going to grow this podcast if it's the last thing I do. So the other thing I want to let you know that is starting with next week's podcast, the. I guess that's going to be the eighth of January or the I don't know what day. It is the seventh of January. I'm going to start doing. I'm going to start filming them again and they're going to go on YouTube. I've got to try to find a way to grow it. We've got a good audience, but we need to be bigger. So look for us on YouTube. If you're a YouTube watcher, I'm going to start videotaping these exciting interviews that I have and the exciting podcasts that we do.

Speaker 1: 22:29

So again, I wish you all a happy new year and May 2024's intentions be what you want. Find what you want. I'm living a life that says intentions are the way to go. I hope I can be an example for you of what setting intentions can do. Get those intentions set. If you don't want to do four steps, just write down what are your intentions for next year. And I'm barring a household accident. I did not get checked into the hospital this year, so remember what I always say aging ain't persisting.