Ever find yourself tossing and turning, unable to find that sweet slumber? You're not alone, and this episode is a cozy blend of personal insights and practical tips on conquering those restless nights, especially during the menopausal marathon. It's a February affair on Aging Aphorsis, where I, Marcy Backhus, weave tales of my serene week drenched in self-love rituals—picture me relishing a 100-minute massage and whipping up homemade ice cream that would make your taste buds swoon. But it's not all sweet indulgence; I dive into the nitty-gritty of creating a sleep sanctuary and why your furry friend might be the unsung hero of your sleep cycle. Through the lens of my own experiences—from ditching eyelash extensions to the elation of aqua sculpt classes—I hope to inspire you to treasure those personal moments that recharge your heart and soul.
As the tax season looms on the horizon, I extend a helping hand, guiding you toward free tax assistance for those feeling the pinch. It's a gentle reminder that you're not alone in the maze of forms and deadlines. Senior centers, city websites, and your local parks and recreation departments are allies in this annual endeavor. This episode is sprinkled with affection and actionable advice—it's like a warm hug for your heart and a lullaby for your brain, all wrapped up with a bow of financial savvy. Tune in for a heartfelt mix of stories, tips, and a community-centric approach to those taxing times.
Ever find yourself tossing and turning, unable to find that sweet slumber? You're not alone, and this episode is a cozy blend of personal insights and practical tips on conquering those restless nights, especially during the menopausal marathon. It's a February affair on Aging Aphorsis, where I, Marcy Backhus, weave tales of my serene week drenched in self-love rituals—picture me relishing a 100-minute massage and whipping up homemade ice cream that would make your taste buds swoon. But it's not all sweet indulgence; I dive into the nitty-gritty of creating a sleep sanctuary and why your furry friend might be the unsung hero of your sleep cycle. Through the lens of my own experiences—from ditching eyelash extensions to the elation of aqua sculpt classes—I hope to inspire you to treasure those personal moments that recharge your heart and soul.
As the tax season looms on the horizon, I extend a helping hand, guiding you toward free tax assistance for those feeling the pinch. It's a gentle reminder that you're not alone in the maze of forms and deadlines. Senior centers, city websites, and your local parks and recreation departments are allies in this annual endeavor. This episode is sprinkled with affection and actionable advice—it's like a warm hug for your heart and a lullaby for your brain, all wrapped up with a bow of financial savvy. Tune in for a heartfelt mix of stories, tips, and a community-centric approach to those taxing times.
Hello and welcome to the Aging Aphorsis podcast. My name is Marcy Bactus and I am your host. Wow, I can't believe it's February. How about you Honestly like wasn't Christmas just here? Weren't we just talking about Christmas and families and I don't know? But it is February and that's the month of love and heart. So think about our heart. So those are the two things that are going on this month.
Speaker 1:Today on the podcast, we're going to talk about sleeping. I don't know about any of you, but sleep is not my best subject, so I thought we'd delve into it a little bit. Sleeping and aging and just sleeping in issues in general, and looking at the information that I'm going to share with you today, it seems so simple sometimes, but then it seems so hard. So we'll talk about that in a bit, but right now I've got a lovely cup of sweet and spicy tea from Good Earth, which is one of my favorite teas. You get yourself something to drink and meet me back here and we'll get into what's been going on with me this week. Let's see, this week was a quiet week. It wasn't too hectic, it wasn't too crazy and you know, I'm beginning to enjoy those kind of weeks more and more.
Speaker 1:I my favorite thing. I love a massage, and when I moved to Chicago here I found a massage school like four blocks up from me and I loved it. I have not had a bad massage from those students. They have been the best massages. The price is right. Well, I don't know, like six months ago I got a notice that they were going to be moving and I thought, oh gosh, where are they going to be moving? It's going to be far away. Well, no, they are right next door in a building right next door to mine. I just have to walk out my back door from my building Just about 10 steps, turn right and head into their building. So I had a 100 minute massage on Monday. Oh, talk about delightful. I always love to tell them that they're. They've chosen the right career when they've been really good masseuses. So I did that.
Speaker 1:We've talked about self care. I think self care is really important. I think it helps us relax. I think it helps us with a lot of things. It goes back to that old saying if you don't put your mask on first and then put your children's mask on and an airplane, you're no good to anyone, and I still believe that. I believe that if I'm not taking care of myself, I can't do what I need to do out in the world. So that's one of my self care things.
Speaker 1:I've had eyelash extensions for the last two years and I really love them, enjoy them. There are a lot of maintenance, a lot of work, and I decided to have them removed so I have my own little eyelashes. They need to get beefed up a little bit here, but I had that done this week and of course, I made it to four sessions of my aqua sculpt. So that is my goal every week for sessions. They have it on Tuesday, wednesday, thursday, saturday and Sunday. Sunday. It collides with my Sunday school class, so I go Saturdays and I go Tuesday, wednesday, thursday and, as you all know, that fills my soul in another way. It definitely fills my soul. So I've had a soul filling week this week.
Speaker 1:Let's see what else happened. Anything. Craig and I went out for a great dinner. There's a restaurant up the street. It's been here for a long time One of the steak houses that's been around forever called Wildfire and had a lovely dinner there. Last night I had a prime rib sandwich. Ate half the sandwich. Of course can't eat the whole thing but delicious. Got that in there for another meal in the fridge.
Speaker 1:Oh, you know what else I did this week. Going back a minute, I made a homemade ice cream with homemade butterscotch sauce and it took me a while. I was like I actually was talking to my sister. And what's the difference between butterscotch sauce and caramel? Well, it is caramel you make with white sugar, butterscotch sauce you make with brown sugar. So I made some yummy, and boy did I pay for that. My stomach hurt all night that night, but it was delicious and I enjoyed making it.
Speaker 1:I have a one of the few gadgets that I saved when we moved, because I'm a gadget queen and especially kitchen gadgets. One of the things I saved we had a beautiful Cuisinart ice cream maker and I saved it thinking, oh, I love homemade ice cream, we'll make it. Well, I thought, since I saved it, I better start using it. So put that to good use. This week Just made an easy ice cream base Two cups of cream, half cup sugar, one cup whole milk. I use vanilla bean paste from Trader Joe's which put those lovely little vanilla flecks all through the ice cream and I think it was two eggs. Whisk that all up, put it in the refrigerator for two hours and then pour it into the frozen. You have like a base that you put in the machine that's frozen and you turn for about 20 minutes. Came out delicious, it was so very good. We've got leftovers in the freezer, so that is something I did this week.
Speaker 1:I've been on a little bit of a cooking kick as baking in things because I can share it with the guys downstairs. And last week I think I was talking about this delicious pumpkin bread I made and it was, and I couldn't decide if I was going to ice it or not. I said so I'm going to let you guys know. I decided to ice the pumpkin bread and I'm glad I did. It added another level. But what I thought would have been better and I think the next time I make it I'm going to make a crumble and put that on the top and let that crumble bake in. And for me I think I would enjoy that more than I did the icing. But the icing was delicious, just a simple heavy cream, powdered sugar, little vanilla bean paste type icing and it was delicious. So, yeah, been doing a little little bacon here. I can do it because I don't eat it all anymore. So I stopped baking because it was something that I just would consume, and now I can control my consumption of it, so I can do it and then I get it out of the house.
Speaker 1:Today, craig and I went up to Lake Geneva in Wisconsin and we went to Winterfest. Well, it was 50 degrees today, so does that tell you something? Ice sculptures had been done. I think they did them Friday. So by the time we saw the ice sculptures, they were melting. You couldn't tell what they were. They weren't huge ice sculptures, these were small, but the snow sculptures were huge. Snow sculptures were ginormous. Those had melted, but not to the degree of the ice sculptures. But what a fun day up at Lake Geneva.
Speaker 1:Very much a touristy town, was it Lake Geneva? Yeah, I think that's where we were. Anyways, very much a touristy town, but so fun Did a lot of walking. We were sitting there trying to figure out where to eat and the police were walking by. So I said, hey, where should we eat? And they were so excited to give us some suggestions. If you don't need a place to eat, ask a policeman is what I've learned. He gave us three suggestions and then we were sitting there and he goes that bar right there has the best hub burgers around. Well, that's where we went. Got a seat right away right at the window Really fun Like was Kismet meant to be, did that? Craig got a wonderful burger and I got a. I got a bacon Triple cheese grilled cheese sandwich Again delicious. Again, half of it is in the fridge so I can enjoy it another day this week. But yeah, I've learned my lesson. Let's let's ask the cops where they eat, because he gave great suggestions. I'm going to take a little sip of tea here.
Speaker 1:And that was our day to day. It was an hour and a half drive up, hour and a half drive back. Perfectly sunny day. Couldn't have been better. I think I enjoyed it more being sunny. I just sat on a bench and just faced the sun and just like soaked in as much as I can. We've been having unusually warm weather for February Doesn't mean we won't get hit with a few more cold spells, but even though it's warmer, it's not always clear. So enjoying the sun when you can is super important is something I've learned. So I I sat on a bench while Craig was wandering around doing some things and just soaked in as much vitamin D as I could possibly get into my system. So that's my week, that's my day to day.
Speaker 1:I hope you're taking yourself out. I hope you look in your area. You know Craig and I had gotten into such a rut living in California. We had all those beautiful things at our fingertips and never enjoyed as much as we should have. And now I guess, both being retired, it's not just the weekends we can go, we do things during the week as well. If you're retired, if you have the time, I want to suggest to you look at what's going on around you, even an hour to an hour and a half drive away from you in towns. Find out what's going on and go do it. I think it's been one of the greatest things that's happened to Craig. In ours, marriage is doing these extra special fun things. So if you haven't done it lately, I say try it, all right, well, refill that tea or whatever you need to do.
Speaker 1:And we're going to get into sleeping, because I don't know about you, but it seems to be an issue for me and for a lot of people I talk to Sleep, oh, glorious sleep. There is nothing, nothing like a good night's sleep. And why do so many of us struggle with it? So I thought I'd first look into sleep and aging. As we age, we often experience normal changes in our sleep patterns, such as becoming a sleep earlier person, waking up earlier or not sleeping as deeply. However, disturbed sleep, waking up tired every day and other symptoms of insomnia are not a normal part of aging. So there is a difference between insomnia which I'm not going to really talk about because that's a medical diagnosis and just having sucky sleep.
Speaker 1:Now, part of my sucky sleep is my sleeping partner. As we all know. When I've talked about it before, craig snores unbearably. He has a CPAP and refuses to use it. I keep reminding him of what might. One of my episodes a while back, a doctor was saying that if you do not deal with your sleep apnea, it is a precursor to Alzheimer's. So you know that's something to think about and I do remind him of that from time to time.
Speaker 1:So the problem for older people that don't sleep well is that I just lost my train of thought. It will feed into depression, attention and memory problems, excessive daytime sleepiness. You'll experience more nighttime falls when you get up and you need to go to the restroom, or you get up because you just can't sleep. Inefficient sleep can also lead to serious health problems, including increased risk of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, weight problems, breast cancer and women Hmm, who knew? I didn't know. So sleeping is not a joke. It's important, so to improve your quality of sleep. It's important to understand the underlying causes of your sleep problems.
Speaker 1:I'm going to give you some tips following on all of this. So listen, how much sleep do older adults need? Well, they're saying that older adults need seven to nine hours of sleep per night. However, it really depends on how you feel in the morning. You want to think about that. Are you still tired? You need more sleep. If you're overtired or you just feel groggy, maybe you need less sleep. So it's kind of you need to kind of look at yourself and see how you're feeling when you wake up. That's the thing that's going to really tell you. See, there are sleep problems that are not related to age, so let's just go over those. At any age, it's common to experience occasional sleep problems.
Speaker 1:However, if you experience any of the following symptoms on a regular basis, you may want to talk to your doctor. Okay, so here's a few Having trouble falling asleep, even though you're extremely tired, having trouble getting back to sleep when awakened. Don't feel refreshed after a night's sleep. Feel irritable or sleepy during the day. Have difficulty staying awake when sitting still Watching television or driving. I hope you're not sleeping while you're driving. I hope you're the passenger, like Craig today, who was sleeping. Have difficulty concentrating during the day. Rely on sleeping pills or alcohol to fall asleep. Have trouble controlling your emotions. Those are things that you want to talk to your doctor about. If you have two or more of those symptoms, I'm going to say if you have one of them, I don't feel, but it's up to you. Do what you need to do.
Speaker 1:So what are the causes of insomnia in elderly people? Are you under a lot of stress? Are you depressed? Do you feel emotionally flat or hopeless? Do you struggle with chronic anxiety or worry? Have you recently gone through a traumatic experience? Are you taking any medications that might affect your sleep? That's a really important thing. Look at your medicine bottles. If you're taking stuff that is going to affect your sleep, you may want to take it in the morning. So talk to your doctors about that, and do you have any health problems that might affect your sleep?
Speaker 1:Common causes of insomnia or sleep problems in adults is poor sleep habits and sleep environment. These include irregular sleeping hours, consumption of alcohol before bedtime Alcohol is full of sugar, so at some point that sugar is going to kick in and it's going to wake you up and falling asleep with the TV on. Now that's a problem for me. I was a kid. My parents couldn't get me to slow down enough to go to sleep, so they put me in front of the TV and I'd fall asleep. I need a TV to fall asleep, so that could be part of my problem. Make sure your room is comfortable, dark, quiet and your bedtime rituals are conducive to sleep Pain or medical conditions. We know that these types of things can make sleeping difficult.
Speaker 1:Menopause or postmenopause During menopause, many women find that hot flashes and night sweats can interrupt your sleep. Even postmenopause, sleep problems can continue. Well, thank you. Menopause Problems before, problems during and problems after. We all women, thank you. Menopause Medications again, we've talked about that lack of exercise.
Speaker 1:If you're too sedentary, your body needs to move to crave sleep. If you're just sedentary all the time, it isn't seeing a difference between moving and stomping. So even if you just need to do chair exercises but get yourself moving. Stress, significant life changes like retirement, the death of a loved one or moving from a family home these types of things can create stress that can affect your sleep. Lack of social engagement, sleep disorders and lack of sunlight. Bright sunlight helps regulate our melatonin, and when you live in a dark area very much like here, and even more so in the city, because the tall buildings block so much sun during the winter, because the sun's so low, the city is dark. It's just dark. And the sad thing is right now in February is when they turn off all of the holiday lights that were on all of the trees and everything and it gets even darker, and that is something I don't like.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about tips to improve sleep habits at your age. In many cases, you can improve your sleep habits by addressing the emotional issues, improving your sleep environment. So your sleep environment that is really. Do you have bedding that you love? Do you have sheets that feel really good? Do you share your bed with an animal, with the dogs? That used to be really hard, and my black lab was so funny because our bed is low so he could look right at me and he'd give me that cry like I have to go out and go potty, I have diarrhea or something, and I would jump out of bed and I'd go to take him and all of a sudden I'd look behind me and he crawled into my nice warm spot on my bed. So animals can be part of this. Right now, our cats are really good. Pickle sleeps under the bed and Patrick likes to sleep between Craig and I, but gives us room and doesn't get into the nooks and crannies of our knees or under the covers or anything like that.
Speaker 1:Choose healthier daytime habits. High sugar diets, high carb diets. Drinking a lot of caffeine can affect you. I've tried to cut down on my caffeine at nighttime. That's why I'm drinking tea right now, because, although I can fall asleep, I wake up, and that can be due to that. So we talked a little bit about how to improve our sleep environment, making sure that you let those natural melatonin levels work.
Speaker 1:Make sure your room is quiet, dark and cool, I know, especially here in Chicago. So in Chicago I have one, two, three, four big windows in my bedroom facing outside. I have no window coverings and it can tend to get chilly, which is perfect, and you could want to set up the heat so that it's not no, no, no, no, no. During the day that's fine. At night the heat goes back down. You don't want to make it too warm, so there's always a little light coming in for a room. But you know, it's just, it's almost natural All the buildings, people go to bed, turn off their lights and it gets very dark.
Speaker 1:Keep a regular bedtime routine. Let's talk about that. Go to sleep and try to wake up at the same time. I've done that. That is something 10 o'clock. I fall asleep around 10 and I don't get up till eight. Now. I used to be a super early riser. I used to get up at five, walk the dogs, get the kids up or get ready for work. Once I started working and the kids were gone, I've changed that. I don't do that anymore. Back to the going to sleep, and it's really hard, but our phones are a huge distraction and that blue light is not good. So block out snoring. That is something I've got to we're working on. Go to bed earlier. Adjust your bedtime. Maybe you need to go to bed earlier and get up earlier. Maybe that needs to be what has to happen. Develop soothing bedtime rituals. Maybe put lavender on your pillow or take a not too hot of a shower, but a warm shower or a warm bath. Create these rituals that work for you.
Speaker 1:Limit sleep aids and sleeping pills. Many times they have side effects that are not good. I know that you can build up a tolerance to melatonin. I was a melatonin taker. Now I take CBD chews. They help relax me. I can turn off the TV if I've taken those and not sleep with the TV on. That's something that helps me Learn the best ways to nap.
Speaker 1:Now retired, I am a napper. Keep it short. Naps that are short five minutes can improve alertness. Keep it no more than 45 minutes. That should be the longest nap that you take. I think my cats would argue with you that we need to sleep more than just a few minutes in the afternoon. Nap early, not too late in the day.
Speaker 1:Use diet to improve your sleep as you age. Limit your caffeine. Don't talk about that. Limit your caffeine late in the day. Avoid alcohol before bedtime. Satisfy your hunger prior to bed. Have a light snack such as a low sugar cereal, a yogurt or warm milk, not something high in sugar, because that's going to just kick in again, just like the alcohol does. Those are things that are high in sugar and you may be able to go to sleep, but I guarantee you in two to three hours you're going to wake up with wide eyes In the day.
Speaker 1:Cut down on sugary foods. If spicy foods are bothering you in the nighttime, do not do that. Minimize your liquid intake before sleep. Hopefully you won't have to get up and go to the restroom in the middle of the night. I'm going to say this from my own experience. If you do get up and go to the restroom in the middle of the night, keep it as dark as you can, safely being safe. I try to keep my eyelids heavy. I try to act like I'm just shuffling off to the bathroom. I try not to make myself too awake for that. Try that for yourself.
Speaker 1:Exercise here's mine Swimming and water exercise. It's good for you. Dancing, lawn bowling, bocce, golfing. Exercise, especially aerobic activity, releases chemicals in your body that promote a more restful sleep. Even if you have mobility issues, there are all kinds of things you can do. I'm telling you, youtube has a billion things. They have chair exercises. They have everything you can look for. Again, aerobic exercise is proven to help seniors sleep better. So get yourself moving.
Speaker 1:Reduce mental stress. This one isn't always as easy as it seems. You would think. The older we get, the less we'd have to worry about, but it doesn't always work that way. Another sip of my tea. It doesn't always work that way. So try to reduce that mental stress. I would suggest listening to calming music. If you have one of those Amazon things in your house I can't say her name right now, where she's going to wake up Ask it to play soothing sounds. Ask it to play if you love the sound of rain, if you love the sound of a crackling fire. Trust me, she has a plethora of things she can play you to help you calm and relax. Read a book that makes you feel relaxed. Read a massage that helps you relax.
Speaker 1:Trust me, use a relaxing technique. We've talked to one of our gals. Talked to us about breathing and when I wake up in the middle of the night now I've been using the five, five, five to get myself to go back to sleep and it works great. So you're going to breathe in at a count of five one, two, three, four, five. You're going to hold it for a count of five one, two, three, four, five and you're going to exhale. Triangulate your breathing. So breathe into five, hold for five, breathe out for five, and I find, if I do that, probably about the fourth time, I've gone right back to sleep. So for me who does wake up in the middle of the night with the snorer, I have found that using that breathing technique really helps me in getting back to sleep.
Speaker 1:I don't know why it is that when you wake up at two o'clock in the morning you revisit all the horrible times in your childhood. You revisit stupid things you've said in your life, dumb things you've done. I don't know what it is, why I want to solve all my old problems in the middle of the night. I will never know. But again, don't think too much when you wake up. Postpone your worrying, tell yourself you're going to think about it tomorrow. There's nothing you can do about it tonight. Just try not to get yourself all worked up in a lather and I know that's not easy to do but that triangulated breathing five in, hold for five, breathe out for five it's going to really help you. I believe in that wholeheartedly. I've been using that, like I say, quite a lot and it really helps me. Again, don't be hard on yourself when you wake up. No, you're not the worst mother in the world. You're not the worst father in the world. You're not the worst sister in the world. You're not any of those things that your brain may be telling you. You're none of those things and you're not going to fix any past mistakes. I don't know why. I just think of the horrible things when I wake up in the middle of the night. So try that triangulated breathing. But try some of these things. Try one or many of them.
Speaker 1:Make sure your bed is a place that you love. You have pillows that you love. If you have not replaced your pillows or your bedding or your mattress in a long time, please do, because that's disgusting. Gross pillows, beds have dead skin cells and all kinds of things in them. Make your bed a place you want to crawl into, you want to be in, you want it to cradle you, you want it to feel good. I love our bed, I love my bedding, I love my room. I love my view when I'm in my room, more than anywhere else I've ever lived, I love looking out at the city, I love seeing the lights on and the other condos across the way and knowing people are living their life. Make sure that your room meets your needs and have good sheets. If you're sleeping on old, scratchy sheets, get yourself a high thread count. Invest in yourself, invest in your room.
Speaker 1:I have a humidifier because it's really needed here in Chicago in the winter. The heater running and all of that gets dried out. And I will tell you Pickles Tail I ran out of water and my humidifier in the bedroom in the middle of the night. I forgot to fill it before I went to bed and in the morning Pickles Tail was like weee electricity all through it. So I knew that. I looked over at the humidifier and she's my little humidifier barometer right there.
Speaker 1:But make your room a place that you love. Be able to control the lights. I can control all of my lights. As you all know, I love computers. I love technology. All of my light bulbs in my house are smart bulbs. I can set them for different times at different brightnesses, and I can set them to go off. We can tell all our lights to go off at once in the house. Find a way to make your room comfy and don't have a clock staring at you. That's my.
Speaker 1:One last suggestion is and this is helped me is when I wake up, don't look at the time. I don't want to know if I have another hour of sleep. I want to know if I have five hours of sleep, it doesn't matter. Don't look at the time, because that will start to stress you out too. So with that, I wish you all a good night's sleep tonight. And we have a senior moment coming up.
Speaker 1:All right, it's tax season, and if money is an issue for you, I want to remind you that look at your parks and recs, go to your city's websites. Look around for free tax help. There is many, many cities offer free tax help to low income seniors as well as young people. If you've got a young person in your life and they need help with their taxes and they make under a certain amount depending look at your. Go ahead again. Look at your parks and recs department. Go to your city's website. Look around for tax assistance, because it's out there. I don't want anybody out there stressing over doing their taxes, making mistakes on their taxes, ending up owing money later. There's no reason for that. There is plenty of tax help out there for people that need it, that think they can't afford it.
Speaker 1:So I just wanted to give a shout out for tax season. I know it's none of our favorite season, but it is upon us. April 1st We'll be around the corner, or April, and it's not April 1st, that's April Fool's Day. It's. April 15th is around the corner and I'm assuming all states are back on track with expecting their taxes done. But check with your state, find out when your taxes are due and look for free help, look for your, look at your senior centers, parks and rec departments, like I said, your city's website, all of that, and I'm sure they can point you in the right direction, especially for low income seniors, to get you some help. So thanks for listening and remember what I always say AJ and A for Sissy's.