WEBVTT 00:00:00.239 --> 00:00:01.360 Good morning. 00:00:02.319 --> 00:00:04.959 It is good to be in the house of the Lord. 00:00:05.200 --> 00:00:05.679 Amen. 00:00:06.480 --> 00:00:18.719 I hope that as you have been worshiping the Lord this morning, that you really believe those words you're singing, that God's presence is the utmost and the highest desire of your heart. 00:00:19.359 --> 00:00:21.519 Because we can get bogged down, right? 00:00:21.600 --> 00:00:27.760 We can get so infatuated with the other uh competitors for our affection. 00:00:28.559 --> 00:00:28.879 Right? 00:00:28.960 --> 00:00:33.359 That we live in a contested world, a world full of idols. 00:00:34.320 --> 00:00:36.159 But there's only one true God. 00:00:37.039 --> 00:00:39.600 The one whom we serve, the one whom we love. 00:00:40.079 --> 00:00:41.759 That's supposed to have our affection. 00:00:41.840 --> 00:00:53.920 And so I pray that if your affection is dwindling, if your affection for him is on life support, I pray that you would just seek him this morning. 00:00:55.520 --> 00:00:58.000 Because he delights to dwell with us, doesn't he? 00:00:59.280 --> 00:01:01.039 He delights to dwell with us so much. 00:01:01.119 --> 00:01:01.840 I'm a little early. 00:01:01.920 --> 00:01:06.959 I don't mean to preach quite yet, but he delights to dwell with us so much that God became a man. 00:01:08.480 --> 00:01:13.439 And he's inviting you in to know him, to love him, to serve him. 00:01:14.400 --> 00:01:25.040 And so as we are continuing through our series, I pray that you would understand that the object of your affection, the object of your worship is Christ and Him alone. 00:01:25.120 --> 00:01:29.120 And so would you turn with me, please, to Ephesians 6, 1 through 4? 00:01:29.200 --> 00:01:31.280 We'll be in uh several different passages. 00:01:31.359 --> 00:01:36.480 I won't ask you to turn to all of them because they'll be right there on the screen as I read them. 00:01:37.200 --> 00:01:46.640 As we continue through our series, whole family, as we are designed to see families that are structured in such a way that give honor and praise to God. 00:01:46.879 --> 00:01:48.959 We want families that are healthy. 00:01:49.200 --> 00:01:52.319 And as you are turning there, if you got it, say, I got it. 00:01:53.280 --> 00:01:59.920 And as you are seeing these words, listen to them with me. 00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:03.840 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 00:02:04.959 --> 00:02:14.879 Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy a long life on the earth. 00:02:15.199 --> 00:02:18.560 But, fathers, do not exasperate your children. 00:02:18.800 --> 00:02:23.360 Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. 00:02:23.520 --> 00:02:25.360 Bow your head for a word of prayer with me, please. 00:02:25.520 --> 00:02:27.280 Father, thank you so much for your grace. 00:02:27.439 --> 00:02:33.039 Thank you, God, that you have invited us into a relationship with you. 00:02:33.759 --> 00:02:36.879 That you delight to be with us, that you delight to dwell with us. 00:02:36.960 --> 00:02:40.159 In fact, you say you enthrone yourself on the praises of your people. 00:02:40.319 --> 00:02:41.680 We thank you for that. 00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:43.919 God, I thank you for multiplied church. 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:54.560 I thank you for Forrest and his family and that they have uh ventured out to plant this church and to dream of what the Lord um could do right here in Frankfurt. 00:02:54.800 --> 00:03:05.120 I'm so thankful that it wasn't just them, but you have called the people with them to serve Frankfurt, to see Frankfurt be occupied with Jesus. 00:03:05.439 --> 00:03:06.879 And so, Lord, we thank you for that. 00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:11.120 We thank you for church planting, we thank you for the church. 00:03:11.280 --> 00:03:22.080 Uh, we thank you for pastors who are still leading, serving, caring for people in the midst of difficult marriages, in the midst of uh depression and anxiety. 00:03:22.159 --> 00:03:31.680 But we ask right now that as we are sometimes weighed low because of the troubles and the circumstances of life, we pray that we will hear a word from you this morning. 00:03:31.919 --> 00:03:36.479 That God, you would hide me behind your hand that they might see you high and lifted up. 00:03:36.719 --> 00:03:38.560 And we ask this in Jesus' name. 00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:41.919 And everybody said, Amen. 00:03:43.280 --> 00:03:57.120 If we grow, if we grew up without a heart connection to our fathers, we'll battle a seemingly irresistible, irresistible inclination to be disconnected from our children. 00:03:58.000 --> 00:04:10.080 These words were pinned by Crawford Laritz about the struggle of fatherhood, especially for those who did not have a father. 00:04:10.240 --> 00:04:21.600 He goes on to say, I believe the greatest relational longing that a man has or woman has, I would argue, in the need for a heart connection with his or her father. 00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:35.279 When that connection is gone, whether it has been severed or was never established, it launches him or her into a passionate search for love, approval, and affirmation of a dad. 00:04:36.399 --> 00:04:41.199 Men and women sometimes end up searching in the wrong place to fill that gap. 00:04:41.519 --> 00:04:55.680 Gangs, ambivalent feelings about their manhood or womanhood, searching in the world to find any way they can fill that gap through sexual conquest, anger, insecurity. 00:04:55.839 --> 00:04:57.759 He said, Oh, he came to meddle today. 00:04:57.839 --> 00:05:11.360 He came to get in our business, uncertainty, the inability to establish wholesome relationships, and a host of other challenges batter emotional security of their lives without the heart connection with a father. 00:05:12.879 --> 00:05:15.680 You see, these words are gripping. 00:05:15.759 --> 00:05:17.040 They grip our hearts, don't they? 00:05:17.120 --> 00:05:18.560 They draw us in. 00:05:18.959 --> 00:05:23.439 But words such as these are best illustrated in story form. 00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:33.279 There was a boy who was born in South Georgia, the product of a relationship between a chocolate man and a white woman. 00:05:33.759 --> 00:05:39.279 In fact, both loved him dearly, but their love for one another did not materialize. 00:05:39.920 --> 00:06:02.560 There was constant fighting and bickering between the mother and father of this young boy from South Georgia, not knowing his parents were not fighting about finances or fighting about the child, you know, but fighting about their own insecurities about life. 00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:04.560 You see, that's what happens when we fight. 00:06:04.720 --> 00:06:07.040 We don't fight about the actual thing we're fighting about. 00:06:07.120 --> 00:06:09.360 We're fighting about our own insecurities. 00:06:09.600 --> 00:06:19.199 And what made matters worse is this young boy's father was abusive to his mother, verbally and physically. 00:06:19.920 --> 00:06:26.800 In fact, for quite some time, it seemed that this young boy's experience would be violence in a shattered home. 00:06:27.839 --> 00:06:32.560 The love between his mother and father still never materialized. 00:06:33.360 --> 00:06:40.480 In fact, still to this day, there was a great wound, a great scar that has not been quite repaired. 00:06:40.959 --> 00:06:42.800 Their relationship did not make it. 00:06:43.040 --> 00:06:47.600 Life could not feel any more hopeless or joyless. 00:06:47.920 --> 00:06:59.040 Not only was the young boy's relationship between his mother and father fractured and severed, but his relationship with his own father never seemed to reach what he dreamed it would reach. 00:06:59.360 --> 00:07:02.240 His father was in and out of his life. 00:07:02.399 --> 00:07:07.439 In fact, at times, uh, this young boy felt abandoned and not enough. 00:07:08.480 --> 00:07:14.879 This young boy journeyed through life with a craving for a deep connection with his father. 00:07:14.959 --> 00:07:18.560 But for most of his life, that deep connection was missing. 00:07:18.959 --> 00:07:24.879 He didn't have the language to describe what he was feeling or what he was experiencing. 00:07:24.959 --> 00:07:30.079 And times the only language he had to describe it was sorrow. 00:07:31.759 --> 00:07:37.759 The inconsistency of his father exposed insecurities in himself. 00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:41.120 He wrestled with questions about his identity. 00:07:41.279 --> 00:07:42.560 Was he enough? 00:07:44.079 --> 00:07:47.600 Was there something wrong with him? 00:07:48.720 --> 00:07:52.639 Was he the reason his parents could never turn the corner? 00:07:53.040 --> 00:07:57.199 Was he the reason for his father's abusive tendencies? 00:07:57.360 --> 00:08:02.560 At times, the anger his father was plagued with also plagued himself. 00:08:03.519 --> 00:08:12.399 He constantly felt he had to prove himself and outperform everyone because he just wanted affirmation from his father. 00:08:12.720 --> 00:08:15.600 He just wanted his father to see him. 00:08:16.319 --> 00:08:25.519 His father made a lot of promises that I'll come to this football game, a love that they both share together, but he seemed to never come to one. 00:08:26.480 --> 00:08:30.720 And so, as this young boy grew up, life came full circle. 00:08:31.040 --> 00:08:34.320 His mom married a man who loves Jesus. 00:08:34.559 --> 00:08:38.080 You would think this story is about to turn the corner, but not quite. 00:08:38.320 --> 00:08:44.639 His stepdad is a great man, but there is still this longing for a deep connection with his father. 00:08:44.879 --> 00:08:53.840 As the story continues, this boy would encounter Jesus in the lowest moment of his life. 00:08:54.159 --> 00:08:57.120 In fact, his worst moment became his best moment. 00:09:14.799 --> 00:09:19.039 A father who probably immensely struggled with his own father's skill. 00:09:20.240 --> 00:09:26.799 Maybe his father struggled to believe that he ever had what it took to be a father. 00:09:28.320 --> 00:09:29.519 I don't know. 00:09:30.960 --> 00:09:34.000 This young boy still doesn't know. 00:09:34.240 --> 00:09:39.840 Now time has gone by, and this young boy has become a man. 00:09:40.320 --> 00:09:44.399 A man who is married to a beautiful woman who cherishes and adores him. 00:09:44.799 --> 00:09:48.080 Not only is he married, but he is a girl dad. 00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:53.120 He has three beautiful girls who love him simply because he is their dad. 00:09:53.279 --> 00:10:00.000 But life has again come full circle because he has some of the same insecurities that his father has. 00:10:14.159 --> 00:10:21.039 At times I doubt I can be the father God calls me to be because I did not have the father I desire. 00:10:21.840 --> 00:10:28.879 You see, this is the trick Satan uses for every person who has experienced father issues. 00:10:29.039 --> 00:10:30.879 And so I don't know who's all in the room. 00:10:30.960 --> 00:10:40.799 I don't know everyone's story, but if I could guess, I'm sure the statistics would show that there are several people in here who have father issues. 00:10:41.360 --> 00:10:50.639 Rather that father was absent, was not there at all, or it was a father who was present physically, but was checked out emotionally and mentally. 00:10:52.879 --> 00:10:57.039 You know, I could have given you all the reasons why Satan wants fathers out of home. 00:10:57.120 --> 00:11:02.960 I could have given you all the statistics of how fatherhood is still a glaring issue in our nation. 00:11:03.120 --> 00:11:17.600 I could have given you all the statistics about broken homes and families and the likelihood if a father is not in the home and how like the likelihood of a person graduate uh goes down, the likelihood of someone going to college goes down. 00:11:17.759 --> 00:11:23.039 I could go on and on, but I felt a story would resonate better. 00:11:23.919 --> 00:11:40.480 I felt that if you could see the struggle of my life, if you could see the struggle of a father trying to be a father when he did not have one, perhaps you would see that there is room at the table for you too. 00:11:40.960 --> 00:11:49.120 Perhaps you would see that there is your desire, your ambition for a whole family is a good and holy and righteous desire. 00:11:49.200 --> 00:11:52.720 And before it was ever your desire, it was God's. 00:11:53.200 --> 00:12:08.320 That before you ever wanted a father to love you, to care for you, to cherish you, to nourish you, there was a father looking over the balcony of heaven who created you, who actually formed you and shaped you into uh your mother's womb. 00:12:08.399 --> 00:12:15.360 In fact, he's still making you and shaping you, that his finger is still working out some things in your life. 00:12:15.519 --> 00:12:24.240 And so, yes, this might be the story of many in this room, but as I get to the end of this sermon, you will find that there was a greater story. 00:12:24.399 --> 00:12:27.200 There is a greater narrative that God is writing. 00:12:27.279 --> 00:12:32.240 That though you have father issues, that does not have to be the end of your story today. 00:12:32.399 --> 00:12:37.679 That though you have broken families and broken homes, that does not have to be the end of your story. 00:12:37.840 --> 00:12:47.600 That God is writing a new narrative, He's transforming and shaping and moving and molding people as to what He desires them to be. 00:12:49.440 --> 00:12:55.919 And so when we survey the Bible, we read all types of commands and verses tailored to fathers or parenthood. 00:12:56.159 --> 00:13:03.200 Proverbs 22, 6 says, Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it. 00:13:03.519 --> 00:13:13.279 Proverbs 13 24 records, Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. 00:13:14.000 --> 00:13:24.000 Deuteronomy 4 9 adds, Only be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen, or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. 00:13:24.080 --> 00:13:30.000 And here it is, teach them to your children and to their children after them. 00:13:30.480 --> 00:13:35.279 And then we find the capstone verse for fathers and parents in the Old Testament. 00:13:35.519 --> 00:13:38.159 And it's right there in Deuteronomy 6, 4 through 9. 00:13:38.240 --> 00:13:41.759 You don't have to turn there, just take pictures so you can refer back later. 00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:46.399 He says, Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. 00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:51.120 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 00:13:51.279 --> 00:13:55.840 These commandments I give you today are to be on your hearts. 00:13:56.480 --> 00:14:00.000 So they are supposed to be in us first, parents. 00:14:00.720 --> 00:14:03.279 We can't give what we do not possess. 00:14:04.159 --> 00:14:05.440 Come on now, somebody. 00:14:05.679 --> 00:14:08.399 Impress them on your children. 00:14:08.639 --> 00:14:12.559 Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road. 00:14:12.799 --> 00:14:18.080 When you lie down and when you get up, tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:22.559 Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates. 00:14:22.799 --> 00:14:26.480 For those who, this is the old school, this is the old testament, right? 00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:30.159 But in other words, houses are to be occupied by the worship of God. 00:14:30.240 --> 00:14:31.200 That's the point. 00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:40.080 That our homes are to be the place where God is worshiped, where God is adored. 00:14:41.120 --> 00:14:46.559 And if you're a father or even a mother in the house, these verses may frighten you. 00:14:47.200 --> 00:14:49.440 If I'm honest, they frighten me. 00:14:49.679 --> 00:14:59.519 Not because I do not think these verses are robbing me or you of joy, but because in fact they do the opposite, right? 00:14:59.600 --> 00:15:00.799 They don't rob us of joy. 00:15:00.879 --> 00:15:09.360 They heeding the word of God brings joy that no one can choke out, that no person can chill away. 00:15:09.519 --> 00:15:17.200 But they are frightening because I find within myself an insufficiency to follow the ways of God. 00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:24.480 That I search within me, within my own strength, within my own might. 00:15:24.879 --> 00:15:26.879 I don't have what it takes. 00:15:28.159 --> 00:15:29.840 Can you relate to this? 00:15:31.919 --> 00:15:38.000 Can you feel the tension that someone would feel when they hear these words read to them? 00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:49.440 Can you imagine with me the difficulty you would experience knowing that wait a minute, this is what God calls us to. 00:15:50.639 --> 00:15:56.720 But I don't have what it takes within and of myself. 00:15:57.679 --> 00:15:59.519 That's bad news, isn't it? 00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:04.879 That's a miserable place for us to be, but God doesn't leave us there. 00:16:05.120 --> 00:16:07.279 But you gotta wait till I get till we get there. 00:16:07.360 --> 00:16:11.279 You gotta you gotta sit in that struggle for a little bit. 00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:14.399 I'm not gonna ease the tension quite yet. 00:16:14.639 --> 00:16:17.679 I want us to still journey together. 00:16:17.840 --> 00:16:21.600 Over the past few weeks, you have been discussing what a whole family looks like. 00:16:21.840 --> 00:16:25.919 You've you have been wrestling through what a healthy family is. 00:16:26.639 --> 00:16:29.840 If we're honest, all of us desire to be a part of one. 00:16:30.080 --> 00:16:37.039 We desire to see our families filled with joy, love, peace, kindness, self-control, you know, the fruit of the Spirit. 00:16:37.120 --> 00:16:40.000 You know, that's the least we could have as Christians. 00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:40.799 Amen. 00:16:41.360 --> 00:16:45.759 We desire to see our homes centered on Jesus and guided by the Spirit of God. 00:16:45.919 --> 00:16:49.279 All of these things are good and noble desires. 00:16:49.519 --> 00:16:52.480 But but at least I hope that's your desire this morning. 00:16:52.720 --> 00:16:54.799 I hope that this is your longing. 00:16:54.960 --> 00:17:01.759 And I'm going to venture out to say that it is, because you wouldn't be here today if that wasn't your desire. 00:17:01.919 --> 00:17:13.119 The fact that you're sitting in this house, in this room, in this one moment in history, it tells myself that you want your life to be a little different. 00:17:13.359 --> 00:17:17.759 That you don't want to live like everyone else does. 00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:26.319 That there was a resemblance of fright, a resemblance of struggle to see your family be what God wants it to be. 00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:39.920 But if it is not your desire, I pray in this moment that your desire will be altered by Jesus right now, that you would have an encounter with him, that you would understand the benefit in a healthy family. 00:17:40.240 --> 00:17:43.359 But some of you asking, what does a healthy family look like? 00:17:44.000 --> 00:17:46.000 Well, I'm glad you asked. 00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:49.839 Let's turn our attention to Ephesians 6, 1 through 4 again. 00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:54.240 Paul is writing this letter to the church at Ephesus. 00:17:54.480 --> 00:17:58.960 This is a diverse community made up of Jews and Gentiles. 00:17:59.279 --> 00:18:05.440 God has made a community that used to not exist in this city. 00:18:05.759 --> 00:18:10.000 And now they have a covenant with him, they have been joined to him. 00:18:10.559 --> 00:18:13.440 But the world around them are false worshipers. 00:18:14.160 --> 00:18:16.799 But God has made them true worshipers. 00:18:17.599 --> 00:18:22.240 And so God says, now there was a different way that you have to live. 00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:27.440 That now that you have encountered Jesus, you have this new identity. 00:18:27.599 --> 00:18:30.319 Ephesians 1 says they have been chosen. 00:18:32.079 --> 00:18:38.400 Paul goes on to say that not only have they been chosen, but they have been adopted into God's family. 00:18:39.119 --> 00:18:42.880 And they have been redeemed, and all of their sins have been canceled. 00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:44.559 I know we live in canceled culture. 00:18:44.799 --> 00:18:48.400 God does not counsel us, he counsels our sins. 00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:50.720 And I'm so thankful for that. 00:18:50.880 --> 00:18:56.480 That he does not counsel you and I, but he counsels our sin. 00:18:57.599 --> 00:18:59.920 And they've now been accepted by God. 00:19:00.160 --> 00:19:03.200 They have favor with the one who created them. 00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:09.440 They have been invited into God's plan for the world to restore all things in and through Jesus Christ. 00:19:09.599 --> 00:19:13.599 So from chapters one through three, Paul discusses that they have new life in Christ. 00:19:13.759 --> 00:19:19.920 But from chapters four to six, he discusses how that new life in Christ should now impact how they live. 00:19:20.720 --> 00:19:27.920 And so one of the primary ways their new life in Christ should impact the way that they live is in their house. 00:19:30.960 --> 00:19:34.799 He says, Children, obey your parents, for this is right. 00:19:35.680 --> 00:19:44.559 He says, Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it might go well with you and that you may live a long life on the earth. 00:19:44.640 --> 00:19:49.039 And he says, Fathers, do not exasperate your children. 00:19:49.279 --> 00:19:52.640 Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. 00:19:52.720 --> 00:19:55.039 I do not have time to unpack all of this. 00:19:56.079 --> 00:20:00.079 But what is clear is that this is what a healthy family looks like. 00:20:00.319 --> 00:20:02.640 This is a family that is spirit-filled. 00:20:02.880 --> 00:20:08.960 This is a family who honors Jesus, who honors the triune God. 00:20:09.359 --> 00:20:12.720 Children are honoring their parents through obedience to their parents. 00:20:12.880 --> 00:20:15.440 Some of the parents in the house say, Yes, please. 00:20:16.720 --> 00:20:19.359 Not the second time, but the first time, right? 00:20:19.759 --> 00:20:21.119 We've heard that. 00:20:22.240 --> 00:20:24.240 That we want our children to obey. 00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:27.279 Obedience is what God requires of us. 00:20:27.359 --> 00:20:31.359 We think, oh, now that I'm in Christ, I've been saved, I'm free, I'm sanctified. 00:20:31.519 --> 00:20:34.640 No, yes, but God requires you to obey Him. 00:20:35.039 --> 00:20:39.839 You can't just you have to walk in step with what He has for you. 00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:43.279 So children are to honor their parents through that obedience. 00:20:43.440 --> 00:20:49.200 And the reason they are to honor their parents through this obedience is because it is right. 00:20:50.480 --> 00:20:52.000 It's right in essence. 00:20:52.160 --> 00:20:57.599 It's not saying, like, oh, if you do this, like, oh, then there's a reward. 00:20:57.759 --> 00:21:08.400 No, it's saying you just need to do it because it is the good thing to do, it is the honorable, it is the just thing to do before God, and it honors him. 00:21:08.720 --> 00:21:26.079 I tell my daughters all the time, you don't have to like that God has put mom and I in authority, but God is trying to teach you what authority is and that it's valuable, that it is good for you. 00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:31.279 And the motivation to honor your parents is that you've been given the promise. 00:21:32.640 --> 00:21:34.400 You're gonna live a long life. 00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:38.559 I tell my daughter that I say, honey, you want to live a long life? 00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:40.960 Well, do what I tell you to do then, right? 00:21:41.279 --> 00:21:47.359 So we understand that there was a promise given in the Old Testament, right? 00:21:47.519 --> 00:21:53.359 If you honor your father and your mother, we know if you've heard any of the Ten Commandments or if the Ten Commandments is new to you. 00:21:53.440 --> 00:21:54.880 That's one of the Ten Commandments. 00:21:55.039 --> 00:21:57.279 You honor your father and your mother. 00:21:57.599 --> 00:21:59.759 And if you do, you will live a long life. 00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:00.960 Life. 00:22:01.519 --> 00:22:08.400 Your life will be better to obey than to disobey. 00:22:10.480 --> 00:22:18.559 But he says the emphasis in this passage is on fathers, but it also can imply parents as well. 00:22:18.960 --> 00:22:22.240 But for the moment, I want to address the fathers in the room. 00:22:22.400 --> 00:22:27.359 Paul tells you fathers are not to provoke their children to anger. 00:22:27.839 --> 00:22:34.319 Instead, we are to train our children through loving discipline and teach them the gospel. 00:22:34.559 --> 00:22:37.599 We're to teach them the ways of Christ. 00:22:39.519 --> 00:22:53.680 But Paul says there seems to be this inclination instead of teaching and training in a loving and honorable and caring way, we tend to pendulum swing to provoking. 00:22:54.160 --> 00:22:55.119 But what does that mean? 00:22:55.279 --> 00:22:56.799 What does it mean to provoke? 00:22:57.119 --> 00:23:02.559 The language or the image used here is an overbearing disciplinarian. 00:23:03.359 --> 00:23:07.200 It is a father who overcorrects. 00:23:07.839 --> 00:23:11.440 That at every point in turn, your child can't do nothing right. 00:23:15.519 --> 00:23:25.359 It is constantly correcting, constantly disciplined, discipline, discipline, discipline to the point of frustrating your kid. 00:23:27.119 --> 00:23:32.799 That, dare I say, they don't want to be around you. 00:23:33.680 --> 00:23:36.160 And we can tell by their behavior. 00:23:43.039 --> 00:23:45.839 They should not run from us. 00:23:47.519 --> 00:23:52.079 But they should run to us even when they do wrong. 00:23:53.279 --> 00:24:02.559 But could it be that because we're so disciplinarians, I gotta make sure they obey, I gotta make sure they obey. 00:24:03.920 --> 00:24:06.799 That our children don't even want to relate to us. 00:24:11.039 --> 00:24:16.160 And if you really want to know if that's you, just when you get home, it's gonna take some courage. 00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:18.880 Ask your wife, do you think I'm an over-disciplinarian? 00:24:20.079 --> 00:24:23.680 Do you think I overcorrect our children? 00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:30.559 And if your kids are to the age where they can answer, ask them. 00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:33.920 You know, kids will tell you the truth. 00:24:35.359 --> 00:24:45.759 I don't say this because I don't think we have what it takes to be the fathers or even the parents that God wants for us. 00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:50.480 But I say this because provoking is a real thing. 00:24:50.960 --> 00:24:52.240 And how do we provoke? 00:24:52.319 --> 00:24:55.119 Here's several ways if you're taking notes. 00:24:55.519 --> 00:24:58.720 We provoke our children by refusing to listen to them. 00:24:58.960 --> 00:25:03.119 Not only by over-discipline, but refusing to listen to them. 00:25:04.559 --> 00:25:06.079 That one touched me. 00:25:06.400 --> 00:25:10.240 We provoke our children by making promises we can't keep. 00:25:11.279 --> 00:25:14.319 We provoke our children by being hypocrites. 00:25:14.880 --> 00:25:17.599 You know, saying one thing but doing another. 00:25:17.920 --> 00:25:22.160 Lastly, we provoke our children by our absence. 00:25:22.799 --> 00:25:26.160 And oh, this is the one that is felt the most in the room. 00:25:29.440 --> 00:25:30.640 It's absence. 00:25:32.400 --> 00:25:36.960 And what I mean by absence is we all know the feeling of absence. 00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:38.960 We all know the feeling of abandonment. 00:25:39.119 --> 00:25:43.839 We all know that feeling where someone's not there. 00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:47.039 All of us know that. 00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:49.279 All of us have been in that place. 00:25:49.440 --> 00:25:52.079 There is two types of absence, right? 00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:57.440 There's absence of by means of physically not being there, physically being present. 00:25:57.599 --> 00:26:00.480 They're not in the room, they're not in the house. 00:26:01.279 --> 00:26:07.119 But there is also the absence by being physically present while being emotionally and mentally disconnected. 00:26:07.279 --> 00:26:10.960 And I want to argue today that this one is the most damaging. 00:26:12.480 --> 00:26:19.519 When your father or your mother is in the house, but they're actually not really in the house. 00:26:20.480 --> 00:26:25.920 That you can see them, that you can touch them, but they're not there. 00:26:29.839 --> 00:26:32.160 Is that some of our houses today? 00:26:34.079 --> 00:26:41.920 That our children can see us, that know we're there, but they also know we're not there. 00:26:43.359 --> 00:26:46.720 That we're at the job even when we come home. 00:26:49.599 --> 00:27:03.680 I can't answer that question, but what I can say is some of us have experienced that in our life, and we're just simply doing what we've been taught. 00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:16.240 So much of our insecurities as fathers, as parents, or adults in general is because of the absence of our fathers in our lives. 00:27:16.480 --> 00:27:17.759 This is Satan's trick. 00:27:17.839 --> 00:27:21.200 This is why he wants fathers out of the home. 00:27:21.359 --> 00:27:24.000 He does not want our families to be whole. 00:27:24.319 --> 00:27:28.559 He does not want the generations to worship him. 00:27:29.920 --> 00:27:40.240 He wants homes to be destroyed, to be severed, to be ripped apart because of the heritage of faith will not be passed down to our children. 00:27:40.720 --> 00:27:42.400 You can look all over the Bible. 00:27:42.480 --> 00:27:45.759 That's why God says, Hey, make a memorial. 00:27:45.920 --> 00:27:46.319 Why? 00:27:46.559 --> 00:27:49.279 So you can tell your kids about what God did. 00:27:49.759 --> 00:27:58.880 But if the father is not there, we sure can't tell God, tell the children about what God did because the father is not there to do so. 00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:02.559 And then the grandfather is not there to do so. 00:28:03.920 --> 00:28:09.920 But you see, we cannot allow our fathers the way they've treated us to dictate how we relate to our kids. 00:28:10.079 --> 00:28:15.599 We cannot allow our trauma of absence to diminish our pursuit of a healthy family. 00:28:15.920 --> 00:28:24.240 Fathers, we cannot even allow our father issues to diminish our pursuit of godly fatherhood. 00:28:25.440 --> 00:28:28.400 We cannot use that as an excuse this morning. 00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:37.839 Even though it's real, we cannot just say, Well, I didn't have a father, so that means God's not talking to me. 00:28:39.920 --> 00:28:44.240 My father did not measure up, so that means God has no standards for me. 00:28:44.400 --> 00:28:45.200 We can't do that. 00:28:45.440 --> 00:28:47.119 God will not allow that. 00:28:47.519 --> 00:28:57.839 That though we've been wounded, though we have been hurt by the absence of real, healthy families in our life, God is saying, I can restore that. 00:28:58.079 --> 00:29:04.799 I can redeem that if you would just give it to me, if you would just walk with me. 00:29:06.720 --> 00:29:09.039 Fathers, will you pursue godly fatherhood? 00:29:10.559 --> 00:29:13.920 Will you set the example for your house? 00:29:14.240 --> 00:29:17.440 As Joshua said, as for me and my house, we're gonna do what? 00:29:18.160 --> 00:29:19.599 We're gonna serve the Lord. 00:29:19.839 --> 00:29:22.079 I don't care about what they do over there. 00:29:22.480 --> 00:29:23.680 Well, Daddy, they do that. 00:29:23.759 --> 00:29:25.039 I uh that ain't my house. 00:29:25.119 --> 00:29:27.039 I'm not worried about what uh Mrs. 00:29:27.359 --> 00:29:27.599 Mr. 00:29:27.680 --> 00:29:28.079 and Mrs. 00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:36.480 Jones do over there, but in this house, in these okay to take that stand. 00:29:36.559 --> 00:29:39.359 That's okay to be that radical about it. 00:29:39.599 --> 00:29:47.200 Because fathers, we have been entrusted with a high and holy call to reflect God the Father to our children. 00:29:48.960 --> 00:29:55.599 That we have been entrusted with a high and holy call to reflect God the Father to our children. 00:29:55.759 --> 00:29:57.200 And I'm bringing this thing home. 00:29:57.279 --> 00:30:00.000 And if you know, I'm gonna really bring it home. 00:30:00.240 --> 00:30:04.640 God the Father is unlike any earthly father in the world. 00:30:04.960 --> 00:30:11.920 God the Father is loving and intentional, he is inviting and welcoming to all of his children. 00:30:12.240 --> 00:30:20.079 He only desires good for his children and ensures their body is protected. 00:30:20.319 --> 00:30:26.400 He is for their flourishing and prioritizes intimacy with his children. 00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:30.480 His father is the father that all of humanity needs. 00:30:30.799 --> 00:30:34.720 He is the father who teaches absent fathers how to be present. 00:30:35.200 --> 00:30:40.960 He is the father who heals the wounds of every person who experienced wounds from an earthly father. 00:30:41.200 --> 00:30:44.880 He is the father who can retain any family's story. 00:30:45.119 --> 00:30:48.720 He is the father who restores fractured relationships. 00:30:49.039 --> 00:30:53.440 He is the father who empowers any father to be the father that he never had. 00:30:53.680 --> 00:30:58.559 He is the father who is the father to the fatherless, as Psalm 68 said. 00:30:58.720 --> 00:31:04.640 Because of this father, fathers, you can be the father you desire to have. 00:31:05.279 --> 00:31:11.759 Because of this, Father, the fatherless can receive and experience the love of God the Father. 00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:12.640 Why? 00:31:12.960 --> 00:31:30.880 Oh, because I remember a long, long time ago that as John 6 3 16 says, that God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall have not eternal, but have eternal life. 00:31:31.279 --> 00:31:35.519 I see God, Jesus into the world. 00:31:35.759 --> 00:31:41.279 The Father looked at the Son and said, I know you didn't do anything wrong. 00:31:41.599 --> 00:31:43.920 I know you don't deserve to die. 00:31:44.319 --> 00:31:47.279 I know you are perfect in all your ways. 00:31:47.519 --> 00:31:50.079 I know you are going to have to leave glory. 00:31:50.319 --> 00:31:56.000 But I have sons and daughters who are lost and need to be found. 00:31:56.240 --> 00:32:01.279 I have people who are paralyzed by fatherlessness. 00:32:01.599 --> 00:32:06.559 They are people who need to experience the love of the triune God. 00:32:07.039 --> 00:32:11.680 The son looks at the Father and says, I'll do it, Father. 00:32:12.160 --> 00:32:12.799 I'll go. 00:32:13.599 --> 00:32:18.480 I'll leave the glory of heaven and go to the ghetto of earth. 00:32:18.720 --> 00:32:23.039 And they passed him from judgment hall to judgment hall. 00:32:23.440 --> 00:32:26.400 And they beat my Jesus with a cat of nine too. 00:32:26.799 --> 00:32:30.400 And they put a crown of thorns on his head. 00:32:30.640 --> 00:32:33.680 And they put nails in his hands. 00:32:33.920 --> 00:32:36.799 And they put nails in his feet. 00:32:36.960 --> 00:32:42.480 And on that cross, they lifted him up for all the world to see. 00:32:42.640 --> 00:32:43.119 Why? 00:32:43.599 --> 00:32:51.359 So we would not be recipients of God's justice, but rather we would be recipients of God's grace. 00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:55.599 So we would have access to God the Father. 00:32:55.759 --> 00:33:01.680 And it is because of this gospel that the fatherless can receive a father. 00:33:01.920 --> 00:33:03.759 It is because of this gospel. 00:33:04.160 --> 00:33:07.680 Fathers can be fathers, even if they didn't have one. 00:33:07.920 --> 00:33:12.559 It is because of this gospel that your families can be whole. 00:33:12.960 --> 00:33:20.880 It is because of this gospel that multiplied church can be filled with healthy, Jesus centered families. 00:33:21.039 --> 00:33:25.519 And so I came here with glad tidings and good news for you. 00:33:25.759 --> 00:33:52.799 That though you didn't have a father, that though your father failed you, that though your father didn't measure up, that though your father didn't meet the standard, there was a father in heaven that measures up, that meets every standard, that heals every broken heart, that cherishes every children, that delights in us, that sings over us, and so you have all that you have to be the father that you never have. 00:33:54.640 --> 00:33:55.279 Amen.