WEBVTT 00:00:06.320 --> 00:00:09.919 Hey, I'm Pastor Forrest, and welcome to the Multiply Church Podcast. 00:00:09.919 --> 00:00:15.439 Each week we open God's word together to help you meet God and multiply good in your everyday life. 00:00:15.439 --> 00:00:18.960 We're so glad that you've taken time to join us for this week's sermon. 00:00:18.960 --> 00:00:24.160 And if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe and follow us on social media so you never miss a message. 00:00:24.160 --> 00:00:27.120 Now, let's dive into this week's sermon. 00:00:30.559 --> 00:00:33.200 Well, as Becca mentioned a moment ago, my name is Jordan. 00:00:33.200 --> 00:00:38.000 I have the honor of serving at Crossroads Church in Cincinnati as the director for young adults. 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:44.640 And before I get into my talk, I just want to take a quick moment to say that I love Multiply Church. 00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:50.320 My family, uh my wife Lauren and I, uh, we have been living in North Carolina for 10 years. 00:00:50.320 --> 00:00:54.880 We just recently moved to Cincinnati, but we've been following along with Multiply really since the beginning. 00:00:54.880 --> 00:00:59.759 We've got friends, we have family that are attached and really rooted and tethered into this church. 00:00:59.759 --> 00:01:01.679 And so we've been supporting, we've been praying. 00:01:01.679 --> 00:01:09.760 And over the summer, uh summer of 2025, I had the opportunity uh to be here and to preach a message, which is what was a huge honor. 00:01:09.760 --> 00:01:13.200 It was on the power of just leading uh and serving the next generation. 00:01:13.200 --> 00:01:22.480 And anytime I have the opportunity to be like a guest speaker, preacher, to bring a message to a group of people, I take that very seriously because it's a big responsibility. 00:01:22.480 --> 00:01:23.519 That's a huge honor. 00:01:23.519 --> 00:01:27.680 I think, though, that the real honor is being invited back. 00:01:27.680 --> 00:01:30.400 So thank you for having me back. 00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:36.879 It was great to be with you uh in the summer, and I'm just really excited for the for the word that I believe God has for us this morning. 00:01:36.879 --> 00:01:44.400 So, as I mentioned, my family just moved to Cincinnati, Ohio, uh like eight months ago, eight or nine months ago. 00:01:44.400 --> 00:01:52.480 So we're new, we're still getting it all figured out, and we were doing some reflecting over just the year of 2025, like over the holidays. 00:01:52.480 --> 00:01:56.159 And it was a really big year for us as a family. 00:01:56.159 --> 00:02:04.959 Any big new life thing that could happen to you as an adult, we pretty much checked every box. 00:02:04.959 --> 00:02:14.159 We moved to a new city, I started a new job, we became a part of a new church, we bought a new house. 00:02:14.159 --> 00:02:22.080 A few months after moving to the city, my wife was driving home from playing volleyball one night and her car broke down on our street. 00:02:22.080 --> 00:02:24.080 And so we bought a new car. 00:02:24.080 --> 00:02:31.919 And a few weeks after we moved to the city, I came home from work one day, and my wife said, Hey, surprise, we're having a baby. 00:02:31.919 --> 00:02:38.719 It's like, okay, well, hey, in the chaos of all of it, how about we just throw a new human into the mix? 00:02:38.719 --> 00:02:40.639 She's actually due in just a few weeks. 00:02:40.639 --> 00:02:44.719 We're gonna have our second, we have a daughter, we're getting ready to have a son, and I can't wait. 00:02:44.719 --> 00:02:45.919 But it's a lot. 00:02:45.919 --> 00:02:47.520 It's just a lot going on. 00:02:47.520 --> 00:02:50.719 A lot of new, a lot of transition, a lot of chaos. 00:02:50.719 --> 00:03:04.639 And can I tell you, as we were just reflecting on 2025, the number one question that my family was wrestling with throughout that entire process of moving to a new place and taking uh part in all of these new things? 00:03:04.639 --> 00:03:09.759 The number one question was are we gonna have any friends? 00:03:09.759 --> 00:03:12.400 Number one. 00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:15.520 Like, who are our people going to be? 00:03:15.520 --> 00:03:17.439 We're doing all this new stuff. 00:03:17.439 --> 00:03:22.879 Are we gonna have anyone to help like carry the burden with us? 00:03:22.879 --> 00:03:25.120 To like share the share the load with? 00:03:25.120 --> 00:03:27.199 Is it gonna be hard for us to make new friends? 00:03:27.199 --> 00:03:28.800 I haven't really done that in a long time. 00:03:28.800 --> 00:03:31.199 That seems kind of difficult putting yourself out there. 00:03:31.199 --> 00:03:37.759 Would it be easier to just stay connected with our North Carolina friends and just kind of do the long distance friendship thing? 00:03:37.759 --> 00:03:39.199 Would that be easier? 00:03:39.199 --> 00:03:43.039 Uh, what if it's actually really hard to make new friends? 00:03:43.039 --> 00:03:47.360 It was like dominating conversations, like new job, new church, new city, all these things. 00:03:47.360 --> 00:03:48.800 We weren't even talking about that. 00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:50.639 It was just like, who are our people? 00:03:50.639 --> 00:03:54.000 And I can report to you eight months in. 00:03:54.000 --> 00:03:56.639 We do have some friends, praise God. 00:03:56.639 --> 00:04:03.520 Yes, but also, yes, it's really hard to make friends. 00:04:03.520 --> 00:04:11.759 We have some friends, but it's really hard to make friends, to put yourself out there, to do new things. 00:04:11.759 --> 00:04:16.000 We're in the middle of a collection of messages at Multiply called Basecamp. 00:04:16.000 --> 00:04:27.120 We're using this climbing, mountain, outdoorsy imagery to talk about what it looks like to go back to the basics of spiritual growth. 00:04:27.120 --> 00:04:31.519 And I am here today to talk about making friends. 00:04:31.519 --> 00:04:33.759 Making friends. 00:04:33.759 --> 00:04:54.800 And I use that phrase intentionally because making friends implies that there is a level of proactivity, vulnerability, intentionality, initiative, effort that goes into making and building friendships and relationships. 00:04:54.800 --> 00:04:59.600 I mean, you know this as you get older, friendship doesn't just happen on accident. 00:04:59.600 --> 00:05:05.199 I think some of us, when we were kids, grew up and we were like, dude, this is making friends is easy. 00:05:05.199 --> 00:05:22.800 You're hanging out outside in the neighborhood, playing in the cul-de-sac, you get into preschool, elementary school, middle school, high school, you just around people like you all the time, all day, every day, classrooms, dorm rooms, sports teams, extracurricular activities. 00:05:22.800 --> 00:05:29.839 And I think a lot of us actually like started to believe a false narrative that making friends is really easy. 00:05:29.839 --> 00:05:41.279 And I actually look back on that time and I have some friends that I've been with for a long time, but a lot of those people I look at and I'm like, were we actually friends, or was I just forced to be with you for eight hours a day? 00:05:41.279 --> 00:05:44.800 Like, I don't know if we were actually friends. 00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:49.120 I work with 18 to 29-year-olds at Crossroads Church. 00:05:49.120 --> 00:05:51.839 I was youth ministry for a long time, middle and high school. 00:05:51.839 --> 00:05:56.720 I'm starting to think that college and young adults is even better. 00:05:56.720 --> 00:06:02.079 I'm starting to believe that there's so much fun, tons of energy. 00:06:02.079 --> 00:06:10.480 But can I tell you that the number one thing that college students and young adults are looking for, it's not even close, is friendship. 00:06:10.480 --> 00:06:12.240 It's community. 00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:13.600 It's like, who are my people? 00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:16.000 Who do I have relationships with? 00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:21.519 Because a lot of them are in or entering or leaving a transitional life stage. 00:06:21.519 --> 00:06:24.959 And the thing that they're really looking for and craving is stability. 00:06:24.959 --> 00:06:29.360 Like everything's moving, everything's changing, that thing's coming up, that's scary. 00:06:29.360 --> 00:06:30.240 I've never done that before. 00:06:30.240 --> 00:06:35.920 New life stage, and I'm looking for stability, oftentimes looking for stability in people. 00:06:35.920 --> 00:06:39.199 And so the most frequent question, we get this all the time. 00:06:39.199 --> 00:06:49.279 I get it emailed to me, we get messages, we get direct messages from Instagram, from young adults all the time, every single week, and they say, Am I allowed to come to an event alone? 00:06:49.279 --> 00:06:53.519 Like, am I allowed to come to an event by myself? 00:06:53.519 --> 00:06:58.959 And I don't really think that they're asking the question, Am I allowed to come alone? 00:06:58.959 --> 00:07:02.079 Like, I think they know they are allowed to come alone. 00:07:02.079 --> 00:07:05.279 What I really think they're trying to say is, help. 00:07:05.279 --> 00:07:17.600 I I need friends, I need relationship, I need some healthy community in my life, and I'm not really sure where I can find it. 00:07:17.600 --> 00:07:26.560 I don't know if you know this or not, but we are currently in a really interesting time in America, specifically as it relates to friends. 00:07:26.560 --> 00:07:30.720 Many researchers are describing it as a friendship crisis. 00:07:30.720 --> 00:07:33.040 A friendship crisis. 00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:37.920 Some social scientists are calling it the friendship recession. 00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:41.040 The recession of friendships. 00:07:41.040 --> 00:07:42.639 A few quick stats I want to share with you. 00:07:42.639 --> 00:07:46.319 This is from Pew Research 2023, a few years ago. 00:07:46.319 --> 00:07:49.040 Interviewed, surveyed thousands and thousands of people. 00:07:49.040 --> 00:07:56.399 They came back and reported that 61% of people say that they have four or less friends. 00:07:56.399 --> 00:07:58.879 Four or less friends. 00:07:58.879 --> 00:08:05.519 Another study done a few years earlier in 2021 from the American Survey Center. 00:08:05.519 --> 00:08:06.800 There's a lot going on here. 00:08:06.800 --> 00:08:08.319 I just want you to look at the top. 00:08:08.319 --> 00:08:23.279 It says that in 30 years from 1990 to 2021, the number of people who say that they have zero close friends has quadrupled in 30 years. 00:08:23.279 --> 00:08:24.720 Now it sits at 12%. 00:08:24.720 --> 00:08:29.439 People reporting, I have no close friends. 00:08:29.439 --> 00:08:48.159 In the year 2000, Robert Putnam wrote this famous book called Bowling Alone, and he kind of follows and documents really since the 1950s, this slow erosion of friendships, of community, and of shared life, specifically in the United States. 00:08:48.159 --> 00:08:57.279 And he says and argues that it's not that people stopped doing stuff and going out to places and bars and restaurants and bowling out and all this. 00:08:57.279 --> 00:08:59.440 It's not that people stopped doing that stuff. 00:08:59.440 --> 00:09:00.559 They're still doing it. 00:09:00.559 --> 00:09:03.759 It's just that people stopped doing it together. 00:09:03.759 --> 00:09:11.440 We moved from shared activity and interest to personalized and individualized activity and interest. 00:09:11.440 --> 00:09:14.399 And we don't really have time to get into social media. 00:09:14.399 --> 00:09:15.759 I'm not just gonna dog on social media. 00:09:15.759 --> 00:09:30.399 I have social media, I like social media, but for a lot of us, it just lied to us and it sold us something that it couldn't actually promise and deliver on, which was it promised all the benefits of friendship and community. 00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:33.519 Like you're gonna have followers, you're gonna be connected to people, it's gonna be amazing. 00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:36.480 It sold us all that stuff and then it under-delivered. 00:09:36.480 --> 00:09:45.759 Like it can't actually give us those things without the cost, without the effort, and without the work that is attached to those things. 00:09:45.759 --> 00:09:53.360 Like you can't get the good parts of community without paying the price and getting the side effects of friendships with it. 00:09:53.360 --> 00:09:55.039 It just doesn't work like that. 00:09:55.039 --> 00:09:56.399 It's not true. 00:09:56.399 --> 00:10:02.000 So my goal today is not to try to convince you that friends are important. 00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:05.120 I think all of us understand that. 00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:08.720 We would nod along with it, we would say, yeah, friendships are important. 00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:11.759 So my goal is not to convince you that they're important. 00:10:11.759 --> 00:10:14.799 God made us for relationships. 00:10:14.799 --> 00:10:17.039 And I'm gonna say something, maybe you've never heard this in church. 00:10:17.039 --> 00:10:18.799 It may even sound silly to you. 00:10:18.799 --> 00:10:21.600 God wants you to have friends. 00:10:21.600 --> 00:10:25.519 God wants you to have friends. 00:10:25.519 --> 00:10:30.159 He wants you to have relationships and community. 00:10:30.159 --> 00:10:33.440 Some of you may not even think you're worthy of having friendships and relationships. 00:10:33.440 --> 00:10:36.960 I just need you to hear me say, God wants you to have friends. 00:10:36.960 --> 00:10:42.159 He does not want you to be a lone wolf, he didn't design you to operate that way. 00:10:42.159 --> 00:10:45.360 The question's not are friendships and net positive in your life. 00:10:45.360 --> 00:10:54.080 The question is, how does following Jesus influence and shape the way that I do make friends? 00:10:54.080 --> 00:11:01.759 How does following Jesus change and determine the way that I make and grow and build friendships in my life? 00:11:01.759 --> 00:11:04.320 So I want to look at a section of scripture today. 00:11:04.320 --> 00:11:07.759 It's in the book of Colossians, Colossians chapter three. 00:11:07.759 --> 00:11:10.399 Here's my hope, here's my prayer for you. 00:11:10.399 --> 00:11:25.120 That you hear truth from God's word, and that it inspires you and encourages you to be proactive in fighting against a friendship recession in your life. 00:11:25.120 --> 00:11:29.519 Like that this truth would pierce into you and that you would say, you know what? 00:11:29.519 --> 00:11:31.600 I gotta check into the game. 00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:37.840 I gotta get intentional, vulnerable, proactive in making and building godly friendships. 00:11:37.840 --> 00:11:52.240 So the book of Colossians, it's in the New Testament, it's written by the Apostle Paul, and the Apostle Paul is writing to this group of people who were measuring their spirituality on things like how much intellectual knowledge did they have. 00:11:52.240 --> 00:11:57.120 They were measuring their spirituality on how many rules they followed and kept. 00:11:57.120 --> 00:12:06.399 They were measuring their spirituality by things like how independent they were, like how self-sufficient, how self-sustaining are they. 00:12:06.399 --> 00:12:14.960 And so Paul actually writes to address this, and in chapters two and three, he says, Hey guys, I need to actually tell you what following Jesus is really about. 00:12:14.960 --> 00:12:27.360 It's not about getting a bunch of intellectual knowledge, believing all of the right things, knowing all the right words to say, so that you can pass the spiritual ACT test. 00:12:27.360 --> 00:12:30.720 Like that's not what following Jesus is about. 00:12:30.720 --> 00:12:40.320 No, he says following Jesus is you understanding that your entire life is getting transformed by Jesus. 00:12:40.320 --> 00:12:44.720 It's changing your thoughts, but it's also changing your heart, your actions. 00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:47.039 Everything about you is being transformed. 00:12:47.039 --> 00:12:54.399 And a lot of that, he writes, happens within the context of relationships that we have with other people. 00:12:54.399 --> 00:13:00.240 So it's not just a my spirituality is this thing that's just between me and God. 00:13:00.240 --> 00:13:14.559 No, it's a my spirituality is connected to my vertical relationship that I have with Jesus, but it overflows and is connected to every relationship that I have, and the two cannot be separated from one another. 00:13:14.559 --> 00:13:16.559 It's not how it works. 00:13:16.559 --> 00:13:32.159 So Colossians chapter 3, verse 12, he writes to those people and he says, Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tender-hearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:36.960 Make allowance for each other's faults and forgive anyone who offends you. 00:13:36.960 --> 00:13:40.799 Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 00:13:40.799 --> 00:13:50.720 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony, and let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. 00:13:50.720 --> 00:13:55.440 For as members of one body you are called to live in peace and always be thankful. 00:13:55.440 --> 00:14:09.679 Let the message about Christ in all its richness fill your lives, teach, counsel each other with all the wisdom that he gives, sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. 00:14:09.679 --> 00:14:19.120 And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. 00:14:19.120 --> 00:14:31.279 As alpine climbing really took off in like the 17th and 18th centuries, climbers were learning the hard way. 00:14:31.279 --> 00:14:40.080 They're just scaling mountains, and then climbers were learning the hard way that mountains are extremely unpredictable. 00:14:40.080 --> 00:14:47.600 They were learning the hard way that falling and failing and messing up is inevitable. 00:14:47.600 --> 00:14:50.799 It doesn't matter how good of a climber you are, it's inevitable. 00:14:50.799 --> 00:14:52.000 It's gonna happen. 00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:58.480 Solo climbers specifically were realizing that they had zero margin for error. 00:14:58.480 --> 00:15:03.039 The mountains are constantly changing, they're unpredictable, falls are inevitable. 00:15:03.039 --> 00:15:05.200 Solo climbers have no margin for error. 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:08.639 And then some really smart climbers got together and they said, Hey, you know what? 00:15:08.639 --> 00:15:09.600 We got this idea. 00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:12.480 What about a rope team? 00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:14.240 What about a rope team? 00:15:14.240 --> 00:15:16.480 This is a picture of a rope team right here. 00:15:16.480 --> 00:15:20.320 Some of you may have seen climbers that are tethered and attached to rope. 00:15:20.320 --> 00:15:23.039 And the idea behind a rope team is pretty simple. 00:15:23.039 --> 00:15:29.519 What if we got multiple climbers to all work together to accomplish the same goal? 00:15:29.519 --> 00:15:35.200 We could all be moving in the same direction and we could accomplish what we set out to do together. 00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:52.320 Everyone is physically connected, they're tethered to one another, tied onto the same rope, and they're spaced out intentionally so that they can move at the same pace, that no one moves too far ahead, no one lags behind and falls too far back. 00:15:52.320 --> 00:16:09.600 And when someone falls, not if, when someone falls, the rope becomes more tense, it tightens instantly, and other climbers dig themselves into the ground so that the fall is stopped before it becomes fatal. 00:16:09.600 --> 00:16:13.279 That's the beauty of the rope team. 00:16:13.279 --> 00:16:20.080 And they don't exist because climbers are weak or because they're not good at their job or because they have no idea what they're doing. 00:16:20.080 --> 00:16:23.840 Rope teams exist because climbing is hard. 00:16:23.840 --> 00:16:26.159 It's really hard. 00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:31.200 They exist because climbing is hard and it's safer and better together. 00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:45.600 And so in Colossians 3, 12 through 17, that section of scripture that we just read, Paul is actually talking to a group of Christians and he's teaching them how to get a spiritual rope team. 00:16:45.600 --> 00:16:48.320 That's what he's teaching them how to do. 00:16:48.320 --> 00:16:51.840 This is how to get a spiritual rope team. 00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:58.320 So I just want to draw out three things from scripture this morning from Colossians that I think are just gonna help you. 00:16:58.320 --> 00:17:09.119 They've been helpful for me, even as I've been writing this message, and really helpful in the area of making friends so that you can fight against a friendship recession in your life. 00:17:09.119 --> 00:17:12.319 So Colossians 3 12, we'll go back to it. 00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:15.759 It says this God chose you to be the holy people he loves. 00:17:15.759 --> 00:17:25.519 You must clothe yourselves with tender-hearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 00:17:25.519 --> 00:17:30.240 First thing I've got for you this morning is you gotta dress appropriately. 00:17:30.240 --> 00:17:32.079 Dress appropriately. 00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:42.240 There's nothing worse than showing up to a function, an event, a special occasion, a hang, and you are not dressed appropriately. 00:17:42.240 --> 00:17:46.400 You might be way overdressed, you might be terribly underdressed. 00:17:46.400 --> 00:17:47.839 Either way, I think it's bad. 00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:50.640 We could argue over which one's worse, but it's not good. 00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:55.839 And I don't know a whole lot about climbing, but what I do know is that you gotta have the right gear on. 00:17:55.839 --> 00:17:59.119 You gotta be dressed appropriately. 00:17:59.119 --> 00:18:05.359 And one of the functions of the rope team is ensuring that you are dressed appropriately for the mission that's about to take place. 00:18:05.359 --> 00:18:13.119 And you're also gonna be tethered to a group of people that are also dressed appropriately and they have the correct gear on. 00:18:13.119 --> 00:18:15.279 That's the heart and function for it. 00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:27.680 Colossians 3:12 actually tells us the kinds of things that should be put on so that I can be dressed for success, to move through life proactively, to build friendships and relationships. 00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:31.440 So, what does it say that I need to clothe myself with? 00:18:31.440 --> 00:18:36.960 Mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 00:18:36.960 --> 00:18:40.400 And I read that list and I go, Man, that sounds like the best friend ever. 00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:42.079 I want that type of friend. 00:18:42.079 --> 00:18:49.440 Those are the kinds of friends that I want in my life, people that are gentle with me, they're patient with me, they're humble, they're kind, they're merciful. 00:18:49.440 --> 00:18:50.960 And then I was like, wait, hold up. 00:18:50.960 --> 00:18:53.440 That's the type of friend that I want to be. 00:18:53.440 --> 00:18:56.799 I don't just want all those people around me. 00:18:56.799 --> 00:18:58.960 I actually want to be that type of friend. 00:18:58.960 --> 00:19:05.279 And then as I thought on it a little bit further, I thought, that's how Jesus treats us. 00:19:05.279 --> 00:19:08.319 This is how Jesus treats me. 00:19:08.319 --> 00:19:16.480 And in John chapter 15, Jesus looks at his followers and he says, I don't call you slaves, I don't call you servants. 00:19:16.480 --> 00:19:20.640 If you're following me and you're rocking with me, I call you friend. 00:19:20.640 --> 00:19:22.880 I call you friend. 00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:28.480 This description right here, this is the type of friend that Jesus is. 00:19:28.480 --> 00:19:36.079 This is the type of friend Jesus is, and it's the type of friend that Jesus empowers you to be. 00:19:36.079 --> 00:19:38.240 Some of you think, oh, I can never be like this. 00:19:38.240 --> 00:19:38.799 No, no, no. 00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:46.880 If you know Jesus, the Holy Spirit's inside you, it's empowering you to achieve this level of friendship. 00:19:46.880 --> 00:19:50.160 It is actually doing that and can accomplish that for you. 00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:54.799 Okay, so Jesus empowers me to be a merciful friend. 00:19:54.799 --> 00:19:59.759 A merciful friend is someone who says, I see the mess in your life, but I'm still here. 00:19:59.759 --> 00:20:02.400 Still here, I'm not going anywhere. 00:20:02.400 --> 00:20:06.960 I want to move towards people in their moments of weakness, not away from them. 00:20:06.960 --> 00:20:08.400 That's what Jesus does. 00:20:08.400 --> 00:20:11.759 Jesus empowers me to be a kind friend. 00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:22.319 Kindness is the ability to grow into the type of person who says, you know what, I'm gonna do what's best for you, even when it's inconvenient for me. 00:20:22.319 --> 00:20:26.640 Kindness isn't something that we just intend to do. 00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:29.119 No, it's actually something that we do. 00:20:29.119 --> 00:20:31.200 Kindness is in action. 00:20:31.200 --> 00:20:34.960 Jesus empowers us to be humble friends. 00:20:34.960 --> 00:20:43.119 A humble friend is not someone who thinks poorly of themselves, it's just someone who thinks about themselves less often. 00:20:43.119 --> 00:20:48.559 And it's a person who looks at relationships and says, Hey, you know what's most important? 00:20:48.559 --> 00:20:51.759 Not me winning this argument. 00:20:51.759 --> 00:20:56.880 What's most important is actually us still being friends after this. 00:20:56.880 --> 00:20:58.720 That's what's most important. 00:20:58.720 --> 00:21:01.599 Jesus empowers you to be a gentle friend. 00:21:01.599 --> 00:21:07.680 Gentleness is not weakness, gentleness is strength that is under control. 00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:20.319 So a gentle friend looks at people with power, but they use that power and that strength to protect and care for people rather to force them to do what they want them to do. 00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:23.519 And Jesus empowers you to be a patient friend. 00:21:23.519 --> 00:21:28.079 This means that in your relationships, you are playing the long game. 00:21:28.079 --> 00:21:35.279 When your kids or your friends or your parents, or fill in whoever the blank, isn't moving at the speed that you want them to move at. 00:21:35.279 --> 00:21:38.240 They're not making the changes that you want them to make. 00:21:38.240 --> 00:21:39.440 You're still in the game. 00:21:39.440 --> 00:21:44.880 You're not quitting when it's hard, when things are moving slowly, or things get uncomfortable. 00:21:44.880 --> 00:21:46.720 That's a patient friend. 00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:50.559 And some of you may look at all these things and go, Well, those are just personality traits. 00:21:50.559 --> 00:21:52.240 Like some people have them and some people don't. 00:21:52.240 --> 00:22:03.839 And I would say, no, Jesus empowers you to be this type of friend, and these are all things that you can actually develop in your life as you grow with God. 00:22:03.839 --> 00:22:12.319 It's the clothes that you put on that you wear every single day to grow your friendships. 00:22:12.319 --> 00:22:17.759 Here's what I know is that even with all the right gear on, climbers still fall. 00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:21.680 They still make mistakes, they still mess up, they're only human. 00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:25.920 So the next verse, Colossians 3 13, says this is my personal favorite. 00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:31.519 Make allowance for each other's faults and forgive anyone who offends you. 00:22:31.519 --> 00:22:35.279 Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 00:22:35.279 --> 00:22:37.039 So you got to dress appropriately. 00:22:37.039 --> 00:22:42.480 Number two, commit to people who are going to let you down. 00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:47.119 This seems so against the grain. 00:22:47.119 --> 00:22:53.440 You're committing in friendship to people that are going to mess up. 00:22:53.440 --> 00:22:55.839 They're going to make mistakes. 00:22:55.839 --> 00:23:00.319 I think a lot of us love the idea of community and friendship. 00:23:00.319 --> 00:23:07.759 There's like this idealized version, like we're all gonna get together, we're gonna have meals, we're gonna do all these fun things, and it's like it's just perfect in your head, right? 00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:08.960 It's like this dream land. 00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:17.200 You think about friend groups from your favorite TV show, whether it's friends or stranger things or like whatever, whatever you're on, you look at this community and you're like, it's so amazing. 00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:21.359 I just want that type of friendship, and they do all these things together, and no one's ever mad at each other. 00:23:21.359 --> 00:23:22.480 It's fake. 00:23:22.480 --> 00:23:25.039 It's not real. 00:23:25.039 --> 00:23:28.240 That's not how actual friendships work. 00:23:28.240 --> 00:23:40.480 You're not the only person who gets frustrated when your friends go out and do something fun and you see it afterwards on Instagram or Facebook. 00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:42.720 That happens to me too, okay? 00:23:42.720 --> 00:23:44.640 Just a few days ago. 00:23:44.640 --> 00:23:46.400 It's still very fresh. 00:23:46.400 --> 00:23:49.359 It happens to all of us. 00:23:49.359 --> 00:23:53.440 People frustrate us, they offend us, they disappoint us. 00:23:53.440 --> 00:23:57.839 It's all good until someone does something that we don't like and we're like, that is so stupid. 00:23:57.839 --> 00:23:59.680 Like, why would you do that? 00:23:59.680 --> 00:24:05.119 Rope teams were invented because someone's gonna fail. 00:24:05.119 --> 00:24:08.240 Someone's going to fall. 00:24:08.240 --> 00:24:13.519 Someone is going to like be a bozo and they're gonna annoy you, like it's gonna happen. 00:24:13.519 --> 00:24:20.000 In Colossians 3:13, Paul assumes that people are going to frustrate you. 00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:24.720 He assumes people are gonna offend you, he assumes that people are gonna do you wrong. 00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:30.799 Paul just says that's not a reason to cut the rope on the relationship. 00:24:30.799 --> 00:24:32.559 It's gonna happen. 00:24:32.559 --> 00:24:37.279 Paul just says that's not a reason for you to cut ties. 00:24:37.279 --> 00:24:40.000 That's not an excuse. 00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:46.720 He actually turns it the other way and says, Jesus forgave you when you offended God. 00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:56.400 When your sin was offensive to God, Jesus forgave that, which means you must forgive the offenses of others. 00:24:56.400 --> 00:25:02.319 I believe that followers of Jesus should be the greatest at conflict resolution. 00:25:02.319 --> 00:25:06.240 The greatest people on the planet at conflict resolution. 00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:07.119 We should be. 00:25:07.119 --> 00:25:14.559 Followers of Jesus should be best in class at restoring and reconciling relationships. 00:25:14.559 --> 00:25:22.559 And that's because friendships are one of the greatest opportunities that you have in your life for the gospel to be on display. 00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:27.759 Like if you really believe this thing, you're gonna put it to the test in your friendships. 00:25:27.759 --> 00:25:34.720 Forgiveness is not just excusing people's bad behavior over and over and over and over and over again. 00:25:34.720 --> 00:25:35.759 That's not forgiveness. 00:25:35.759 --> 00:25:45.359 Forgiveness is I'm not gonna let a mistake or a minor offense be the reason that I end a relationship. 00:25:45.359 --> 00:25:46.960 That's forgiveness. 00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:54.240 The Bible says that while we were dead in our sin, Jesus rescued us, saved us, and restored us back to life. 00:25:54.240 --> 00:26:03.440 And then in 2 Corinthians, the Bible says, you, meaning like followers of Jesus, have now been given the assignment and the ministry of reconciliation. 00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:05.039 So God did it for you. 00:26:05.039 --> 00:26:08.720 Now it's on you to bring to the rest of the world. 00:26:08.720 --> 00:26:15.519 Some of us, maybe this year, it's not even for you really about making a bunch of new friends. 00:26:15.519 --> 00:26:22.640 Maybe for you, 2026 is the year that God convicts you and says, Hey, there were some minor offenses. 00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:25.920 Relationships got severed. 00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:34.319 And I actually believe the Holy Spirit might be leading some of us to go, hey, I'm gonna go back and I'm gonna restore that thing. 00:26:34.319 --> 00:26:36.400 I'm gonna redeem that thing. 00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:41.920 I'm not gonna choose to continue to cut the rope and to cut ties when things get hard. 00:26:41.920 --> 00:26:48.000 I'm gonna forgive and I'm gonna stay tethered to friendships and relationships that I ought to be. 00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:56.480 I also know this that staying tethered together to people is only as good as people's open and honest communication. 00:26:56.480 --> 00:26:57.920 It's very important. 00:26:57.920 --> 00:27:05.039 Colossians 3 16 says, Let the message about Christ in all its richness fill your lives. 00:27:05.039 --> 00:27:13.839 Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom that he gives, and sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. 00:27:13.839 --> 00:27:16.400 Okay, so address appropriately. 00:27:16.400 --> 00:27:18.720 There's things that I put on every single day. 00:27:18.720 --> 00:27:22.640 Then number two is I'm committing to people that are gonna let me down. 00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:26.720 And then lastly, we gotta have clear and honest communication. 00:27:26.720 --> 00:27:28.960 Now, this one almost seems too simple. 00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:31.119 You just look at it and you're like, yeah, obviously. 00:27:31.119 --> 00:27:33.920 And I was almost hesitant to like even put it on there. 00:27:33.920 --> 00:27:35.759 I almost took it off, and I was like, no, you know what? 00:27:35.759 --> 00:27:40.240 I think this is the one that we all think we're better at than we are. 00:27:40.240 --> 00:27:42.640 It's the one that we go, yeah, I got that. 00:27:42.640 --> 00:27:44.240 Okay, yeah, be open, be honest, cool. 00:27:44.240 --> 00:27:45.359 And like, no. 00:27:45.359 --> 00:27:48.160 Do we really have this? 00:27:48.160 --> 00:27:55.039 Rope teams survive, they thrive, they succeed because there is constant clear communication. 00:27:55.039 --> 00:28:04.000 So, what happens on a mountain when people get into a sticky situation is uh they're certainly not silent about the danger that's getting ready to take place on that mountain. 00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:08.480 They're not making assumptions about what could or should happen. 00:28:08.480 --> 00:28:11.680 No, what's happening is that they're communicating the truth. 00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:13.440 Hey, watch out for that. 00:28:13.440 --> 00:28:15.680 You need to stop right now. 00:28:15.680 --> 00:28:16.880 Do you see what's happening? 00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:22.799 Like they're communicating the truth, even the uncomfortable truth, because it keeps people alive. 00:28:22.799 --> 00:28:34.559 I believe that you can measure the strength of your current friendships by the level of honesty and clarity that exists in your communication. 00:28:34.559 --> 00:28:38.400 Real friends, they tell each other the truth. 00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:40.000 That's what they do. 00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:46.640 Real friends tell each other the truth, they counsel and teach one another with the wisdom and truth that comes from God. 00:28:46.640 --> 00:28:51.519 So a biblical friendship looks like this I am gonna tell you the truth. 00:28:51.519 --> 00:28:57.039 And then when you tell me the truth, I'm gonna receive it. 00:28:57.039 --> 00:28:58.960 I'm gonna receive the truth. 00:28:58.960 --> 00:29:00.079 Ah, that hurt a little bit. 00:29:00.079 --> 00:29:01.440 I'm gonna receive it. 00:29:01.440 --> 00:29:12.000 We are gonna let the wisdom and truth of Jesus shape and lead this conversation and lead this friendship because we are committing to clear and honest communication. 00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:17.039 Rope teams cannot afford to not tell people when they're in danger. 00:29:17.039 --> 00:29:20.240 They can't afford to not want to have a hard conversation. 00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:24.480 Well, I don't want to tell that person they're getting ready to walk off a cliff because I just don't know how they might take it. 00:29:24.480 --> 00:29:26.400 They can't afford to do that. 00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:35.039 Rope teams can't afford to ignore red flags or to keep things surface level because people's lives are literally at stake. 00:29:35.039 --> 00:29:43.680 And I don't want to be overly dramatic about this, but I honestly do think that a lot of times Christians do not have deep friendships and relationships. 00:29:43.680 --> 00:29:47.279 Things remain surface level more times than not. 00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:53.119 And it's because we really struggle giving and receiving the truth. 00:29:53.119 --> 00:29:59.839 It's really difficult for us to teach, to counsel one another with scripture, with truth from God's word. 00:29:59.839 --> 00:30:02.000 We're scared to offend. 00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:06.319 Well, I just don't know if it's really my place for me to step in and say that thing. 00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:08.640 We'll justify it, we make all the excuses in the world. 00:30:08.640 --> 00:30:11.839 I just don't know how it's gonna be received, all the things that we come up with. 00:30:11.839 --> 00:30:15.039 Here's what Proverbs 27, 6 says. 00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:17.519 It's one of my favorite verses all time. 00:30:17.519 --> 00:30:25.039 Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. 00:30:25.039 --> 00:30:26.640 What does that mean? 00:30:26.640 --> 00:30:31.119 It means that I don't just want yes men in my life. 00:30:31.119 --> 00:30:32.960 Oh, Jordan, you're so great. 00:30:32.960 --> 00:30:34.319 Oh man, you're so amazing. 00:30:34.319 --> 00:30:35.759 I'm just telling you everything that you want to hear. 00:30:35.759 --> 00:30:37.359 You can never do anything wrong in my eyes. 00:30:37.359 --> 00:30:42.319 I'm just gonna skirt all the hard issues and things so that I can give you these nice little kisses and compliments. 00:30:42.319 --> 00:30:49.440 It's like that's great, but sometimes I need a sincere friend to wound me a little bit because they love me. 00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:57.440 I need them to tell me the thing that's hard to say and that's hard to communicate and that's hard to hear, but actually builds me up and makes me better. 00:30:57.440 --> 00:30:59.839 They're pointing out blind spots in my life. 00:30:59.839 --> 00:31:04.720 They're calling out things that where I was just walking into a dangerous situation, I was walking into a trap. 00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:09.119 They're seeing things that are off with my character, and they're not worried about how it's gonna be received. 00:31:09.119 --> 00:31:13.039 They say, No, I love you enough to wound you a little bit here. 00:31:13.039 --> 00:31:16.480 This truth's gonna build you, it's gonna make you better. 00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:32.480 I may go so far to say is that if your friends aren't wounding you with the truth from time to time, you may just look at the the relationship and say, I don't know, maybe we're not actually close to friends as I as I thought. 00:31:32.480 --> 00:31:36.480 Is there open and honest communication here? 00:31:36.480 --> 00:31:44.960 I just want to ask, what if this year you got connected to a spiritual rope team? 00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:52.319 What if this was your year to just go all in proactive, not waiting for the right people to come around? 00:31:52.319 --> 00:31:55.279 No, no, no, just they're they're all broken. 00:31:55.279 --> 00:31:57.440 You just said, you know what? 00:31:57.440 --> 00:31:59.680 I'm just gonna be proactive. 00:31:59.680 --> 00:32:02.880 I'm gonna dress appropriately, I'm gonna commit to people who are gonna let me down. 00:32:02.880 --> 00:32:06.079 I'm gonna have clear and honest communication, I'm gonna fight for those things. 00:32:06.079 --> 00:32:10.640 I don't know what your personal hang-ups might be when it comes to friendships. 00:32:10.640 --> 00:32:15.440 Maybe you've been burned in the past, maybe you don't feel like you're worthy of being loved or received or cared for. 00:32:15.440 --> 00:32:16.319 I don't know what it is. 00:32:16.319 --> 00:32:22.720 I just need you to know God wants you to have friends, He's made you for friendship. 00:32:22.720 --> 00:32:37.119 And I actually believe that some of us are going to go to the next level spiritually this year, and it's not because we did a new habit, and it's not because we listened, went to some conference, and got some new theological like position that we had never heard before. 00:32:37.119 --> 00:32:38.240 That stuff's great. 00:32:38.240 --> 00:32:44.079 It could actually be because you commit to making and building godly friendships. 00:32:44.079 --> 00:32:51.279 There's a famous quote in the like climbing, running, endurance training space. 00:32:51.279 --> 00:32:56.240 The funny part is that uh there's all there's like all different debates on who actually said it first. 00:32:56.240 --> 00:32:59.519 So I can't credit an author, but I want to share the quote with you. 00:32:59.519 --> 00:33:04.160 This is what it says if you want to go fast, go alone. 00:33:04.160 --> 00:33:08.880 If you want to go far, you go together. 00:33:08.880 --> 00:33:12.160 Going fast is overrated. 00:33:12.160 --> 00:33:15.279 That's how a lot of climbers got really hurt. 00:33:15.279 --> 00:33:17.440 Fast and alone. 00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:20.000 And some of us are just trying to blitz through this thing, speed through life. 00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:22.960 I don't need friends, I don't got time for that, and this is not working for us. 00:33:22.960 --> 00:33:29.759 And it's helpful for us to be honest about that to say, no, I think that this community, I think that God doesn't just really care about my speed. 00:33:29.759 --> 00:33:38.559 He wants me to go far, he wants me to go the distance, he wants me to make it, to win the prize, to run with endurance, the race that he's laid out for me. 00:33:38.559 --> 00:33:40.960 I want to go further this year. 00:33:40.960 --> 00:33:44.319 Like I want to go deeper, I want to go to places I haven't been before. 00:33:44.319 --> 00:33:49.039 I want to get better, and that's only gonna happen if I go with people. 00:33:49.039 --> 00:33:53.599 If we can go together, that's how it's gonna happen. 00:33:53.599 --> 00:33:55.359 I invite you into that. 00:33:55.359 --> 00:34:02.720 And maybe today, uh, just as I was talking a few moments ago, I was talking about this idea of Jesus as friend. 00:34:02.720 --> 00:34:05.359 Some of you are like, well, man, I've never really heard about that. 00:34:05.359 --> 00:34:10.800 I thought it was kind of just some like distancedy thing, and like, I don't really bug him like that because he doesn't really want anything to do. 00:34:10.800 --> 00:34:17.360 It's like, no, the Bible says that if you know Jesus, he calls you friend. 00:34:17.360 --> 00:34:23.199 You might be sitting here and you're like, I just I don't have that type of connection, that type of relationship with Jesus. 00:34:23.199 --> 00:34:26.320 I want to invite you into that because there's really good news for you. 00:34:26.320 --> 00:34:34.400 The gospel is the good news that eternal life and life to the full is available to anyone. 00:34:34.400 --> 00:34:36.559 Anyone. 00:34:36.559 --> 00:34:39.760 You're like, okay, what that sounds nice. 00:34:39.760 --> 00:34:41.119 Well, how do I get it? 00:34:41.119 --> 00:34:42.239 Well, it's really simple. 00:34:42.239 --> 00:34:49.039 It happens by grace alone, meaning there's nothing you could do to earn it or deserve it. 00:34:49.039 --> 00:34:58.000 You couldn't go to church enough times, try your best to obey all the rules, you couldn't ace the spiritual ACT test, like none of that stuff matters. 00:34:58.000 --> 00:35:01.760 It's a gift that you receive from God. 00:35:01.760 --> 00:35:02.880 It says grace. 00:35:02.880 --> 00:35:07.119 Well, then it happens through faith alone, meaning I had to believe it. 00:35:07.119 --> 00:35:14.000 The Bible says, if you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross, that he rose from the grave, you will be saved. 00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:15.199 That's what it says. 00:35:15.199 --> 00:35:21.280 And lastly, it's by grace alone, through faith alone, and it happens in Christ alone. 00:35:21.280 --> 00:35:26.400 Meaning, Jesus is the only way to God, he's the only way to salvation. 00:35:26.400 --> 00:35:28.400 It comes through him and through him alone. 00:35:28.400 --> 00:35:33.280 There's no other person, no other name in heaven or on earth by which we can be saved. 00:35:33.280 --> 00:35:35.199 And that's the invitation for you today. 00:35:35.199 --> 00:35:39.679 Jesus could step in, he could save you, and he could call you friend. 00:35:41.199 --> 00:35:43.920 We're so grateful you joined us for this week's message. 00:35:43.920 --> 00:35:47.440 At Multiply, we believe life was never meant to be lived alone. 00:35:47.440 --> 00:35:52.559 If today you made the decision to follow Jesus, we'd be honored to walk with you on this journey. 00:35:52.559 --> 00:35:55.840 Visit multiplyky.com to let us know. 00:35:55.840 --> 00:35:58.320 We love you and we'll see you again soon.