Forrest: Hey, I'm Pastor Forrest, and welcome to the Multiply Church Podcast.
Forrest: Each week we open God's word together to help you meet God and multiply good in your everyday life.
Forrest: We're so glad that you've taken time to join us for this week's sermon.
Forrest: And if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe and follow us on social media so you never miss a message.
Forrest: Now, let's dive into this week's sermon.
SPEAKER_01: My name is Seth Nolan.
SPEAKER_01: Uh, have the honor and privilege of being back at Multiply.
SPEAKER_01: Uh, this is my third time being able to speak at Multiply.
SPEAKER_01: I've always heard it said that it's one thing to be invited to speak somewhere, but it's another thing to be invited back.
SPEAKER_01: And uh count it an honor and a privilege to be amongst some of the best people uh north of the Tennessee border, because that's where I'm at, right?
SPEAKER_01: But north of the Tennessee border here in Kentucky.
SPEAKER_01: Uh grateful to be at Multiply Church.
SPEAKER_01: Is anyone thankful for Multiply Church this morning?
SPEAKER_01: Uh my wife Felicia and I uh have the honor and privilege of uh leading in a pastor Heights Church in Middle Tennessee.
SPEAKER_01: The last time I was here at Multiply, we had not yet had our grand opening.
SPEAKER_01: But uh I'm excited to tell you that I have a beautiful wife.
SPEAKER_01: I have five kids in a four-month-old church, and so uh we can give a shout of praise and also pray for me.
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01: Praise God.
SPEAKER_01: Uh ma'am, uh, we truly do feel honored to be here this morning.
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you're aware, but there is something very special and significant happening through Multiply.
SPEAKER_01: And I believe that in large part that's due to the team and due to your pastor, Pastor Forrest and his wife Emily, for leading the charge and pioneering something special here in Frankfurt.
SPEAKER_01: Um I'm always stirred to faith when I'm in this space and always encouraged when I speak to your pastor.
SPEAKER_01: He's become uh somewhat of like an older brother to me in this season of church planting.
SPEAKER_01: And uh you all have a very, very special soil that you're planted in.
SPEAKER_01: So if this is your first time at Multiply, uh, I want to tell you you should consider making this your home church if this this is where you live.
SPEAKER_01: Uh and if you do call Multiply Church your home, thank you for playing a part in things like Frankfurt Forward uh and and packing boxes for students who um man need it.
SPEAKER_01: You all are paving a way in your generosity.
SPEAKER_01: And uh, it's inspiring to us to be in the room to experience.
SPEAKER_01: But I truly do believe that you are a part of something that's bigger than yourself because of the grace of God on this church.
SPEAKER_01: Uh so one time, can we praise Jesus and also thank him for his provision in giving you all pastors like Forrest, uh like his wife Emily, and like the amazing team here at Multiply.
SPEAKER_01: Can we just give God some praise this morning?
SPEAKER_01: Uh we're in a series uh called Smoke and Mirrors, uh, where we're diving into uh good things that are found in the book of Ecclesiastes.
SPEAKER_01: And before we jump into our scripture this morning, uh I kind of want to uh invite you into something with me this morning.
SPEAKER_01: I would love for you, you don't have to close your eyes, but if you could just get a mental picture with me this morning.
SPEAKER_01: And imagine that a man receives a gift.
SPEAKER_01: It's been carefully chosen for him, thoughtful, costly, and it's been given to him with love.
SPEAKER_01: But instead of opening the gift, enjoying it, learning how it works, the man does something else.
SPEAKER_01: He puts it on a shelf, he dusts around it, he protects it from damage, he tells people, that's my gift, but never actually uses it.
SPEAKER_01: Years go by, the gift remains intact, but untouched.
SPEAKER_01: Then one day, someone asks him, Do you enjoy that gift?
SPEAKER_01: And the man answers honestly, I've had it for years, I just never really opened it.
SPEAKER_01: I want to tell you today, that's how many men treat marriage.
SPEAKER_01: Not abused, not neglected outright, just unopened.
SPEAKER_01: They provide for it, they protect it, they preserve it, but they never enter their marriage with presence, with honor, and with consistency.
SPEAKER_01: I want you to hear this from me today.
SPEAKER_01: Um my wife and I in May will be married nine years.
SPEAKER_01: Uh I am so grateful for that.
SPEAKER_01: In these years, we have accumulated five children, praise God.
SPEAKER_01: Uh, we pastor an incredible church in Middle Tennessee, but I am still learning what it looks like to steward the gift that is my wife.
SPEAKER_01: And so as we look to Scripture today, I want you to hear me say this.
SPEAKER_01: I'm preaching this as a man who is still being shaped by this message.
SPEAKER_01: And I kind of want to blanket it before the wives check out or start taking some real notes in church this morning.
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01: Oh, you leave talking to my husband today.
SPEAKER_01: I think this message is for everyone.
SPEAKER_01: But in talking to your lead pastor the past few weeks, he's been talking to me about the heart he has for men in this church to raise up to the calling that God has placed on your lives.
SPEAKER_01: And so today I'm going to speak into the heart of the men of multiply church.
SPEAKER_01: And I want to do so in a way that I think can either prepare you for marriage if you're a single man in this room today, but for those of us like me who have a wife and maybe a family, I think that there is something significant that we can take from Scripture that will help us lead well in the area of enjoying our wives.
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
SPEAKER_01: Praise God.
SPEAKER_01: I'll just take that as a sign that we're on it, okay?
SPEAKER_01: Uh Proverbs 18, verse 22.
SPEAKER_01: Uh Solomon has authored this to the nation of Israel, and he says this.
SPEAKER_01: He says, He who finds a wife finds a good thing.
SPEAKER_01: Someone say, good thing.
SPEAKER_01: And obtains favor from the Lord.
SPEAKER_01: Men, I just want to tell you, our wives are a gift from God.
SPEAKER_01: They are a gift.
SPEAKER_01: You know, I think it's easy when we read this scripture to read the phrase a good thing and see it only through like an emotional lens.
SPEAKER_01: Um, and while I think my wife is a good thing, praise God.
SPEAKER_01: I think it's important that we recognize that when Solomon is writing this, he's actually drawing a parallel to the Genesis narrative.
SPEAKER_01: And the same Hebrew phrasing actually is found in Genesis that's found in Proverbs 18.
SPEAKER_01: And you can see it through this lens, he says, finding a wife is a good thing, almost as if God looked at the world and he said it was good.
SPEAKER_01: What we learn is that having a wife is a God-given gift.
SPEAKER_01: It's a covenant reflection of the love of God in our lives.
SPEAKER_01: Meaning that there's a stewardship that's implied in the Bible towards men in the way that we not only see our wives, but the way that we steward our wives.
SPEAKER_01: It leads us to Ecclesiastes 9, verse 9, which is kind of the anchor text of the message today.
SPEAKER_01: Solomon, also writing Ecclesiastes, writes this: Enjoy life with the wife whom you love.
SPEAKER_01: All the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun.
SPEAKER_01: You know, when you first read that, you go, Man, is this like a romance novel here?
SPEAKER_01: Like Solomon has such eloquent language, but there's so much more to what he's writing here, and what I want us to see is that this is wisdom language.
SPEAKER_01: Ecclesiastes is wisdom literature.
SPEAKER_01: When we teach our church through the book of Proverbs or Ecclesiastes, we like to unpack that the Bible teaches us in wisdom literature how to live well with God in the real world.
SPEAKER_01: And so, what Solomon is writing to us today is for us to see how when we enjoy the life we've been given with the good thing, the wife in which we have been given by God, we actually can learn how to walk with God in our real, everyday life through Scripture.
SPEAKER_01: As Pastor Forrest is kind of unpacking through this series, Smoke and Mirrors, we find that Ecclesiastes is obsessed with misused gifts.
SPEAKER_01: We would say it this way: taking the good things in life for granted.
SPEAKER_01: You find in Ecclesiastes that there's work without enjoyment, wealth without satisfaction, wisdom without reverence, life without presence, and I want to make the argument today that there is a kind of life that we can have in which we have been given a good wife, which is a good gift from God, and yet we can actually fail to enjoy her.
SPEAKER_01: This is really one of the drivers of this series, Smoke and Mirrors, that we ask this overarching question how do we steward the good things God has given us?
SPEAKER_01: So when Solomon says, enjoy life with the wife whom you love, he's saying, Men, don't leave one of God's best gifts sitting unopened on the shelf of your life.
SPEAKER_01: Because a wise man doesn't merely possess his marriage, he participates in it.
SPEAKER_01: If you want a title for today's message, we're gonna keep it simple.
SPEAKER_01: Enjoy your wife.
SPEAKER_01: Come on, man.
SPEAKER_01: Someone say it with me.
SPEAKER_01: Enjoy your wife.
SPEAKER_01: Alright, I got like three dudes with me in the building today.
SPEAKER_01: Praise God.
SPEAKER_01: You know, but this idea is that a wise man doesn't drift through marriage, he leads it with presence, with honor, and with consistency.
SPEAKER_01: And so as we look at scripture today, I want to talk through each of these things.
SPEAKER_01: And first we'll start here.
SPEAKER_01: How do we lead with presence?
SPEAKER_01: When we look at Ecclesiastes 9, verse 9, what we find is that this phrase that opens up the text, enjoy life with the wife whom you love.
SPEAKER_01: The verb translated enjoy in Hebrew literally means to see life or to experience life fully.
SPEAKER_01: So this isn't emotional indulgence that Solomon is writing about here.
SPEAKER_01: Solomon isn't saying to us, do the most to inflate romance in your home, men, and enjoy it.
SPEAKER_01: What he's saying is that we have to be present in participation.
SPEAKER_01: To enjoy means to be present.
SPEAKER_01: So Solomon isn't simply calling men to be more romantic, he's calling men to be more aware.
SPEAKER_01: Solomon doesn't say, maintain your marriage, fund your household, avoid scandal.
SPEAKER_01: No, he says, enjoy your wife.
SPEAKER_01: See, enjoyment requires presence, not just provision.
SPEAKER_01: You can be providing financially and still be relationally absent.
SPEAKER_01: It's the pressure that the text presses on today.
SPEAKER_01: That you can win at work and lose at home.
SPEAKER_01: That you can have a wife and still not have truly enjoyed her.
SPEAKER_01: Can I have a moment of honest reflection?
SPEAKER_01: Maybe it'll soften the room a little bit before you grab another stone to throw at me this morning, alright?
SPEAKER_01: There have been seasons in my life in marriage where I've been building something that's important to God.
SPEAKER_01: I have the honor and privilege of pastoring a local church.
SPEAKER_01: And the things we put our hands to in our work, I like to believe with a conviction that they matter to God.
SPEAKER_01: But there have been times while putting my hands to the things of God in my work, that at the same time I found myself mentally checked out in my own living room with my wife and with my children.
SPEAKER_01: And I want to present today that this is a tension that we have to wrestle with daily, especially as men, and we'll unpack this further.
SPEAKER_01: That although there is a leadership role in a mantle, there is a weight that has been placed upon our shoulders to carry and to pioneer in our homes and in our marriages, just because we carry that weight doesn't mean that we can neglect the other weight in our life, which is our wife and our children.
SPEAKER_01: And can I be the first to tell you today that there are few things more important than being present in your marriage?
SPEAKER_01: And here's the thing Ecclesiastes, man, Ecclesiastes is brutally honest.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, Ecclesiastes is not pulling punches.
SPEAKER_01: Don't read Ecclesiastes unless you're ready to be told straight up what life is like.
SPEAKER_01: All right?
SPEAKER_01: Because it tells us life is short, work is fleeting, success is unstable.
SPEAKER_01: It essentially contrasts this idea of being passive versus being intentional.
SPEAKER_01: And so enjoyment in Ecclesiastes, it's not accidental.
SPEAKER_01: Like we don't accidentally enjoy our wife.
SPEAKER_01: Enjoyment is chosen in the face of how short life is.
SPEAKER_01: So we would say this life is short.
SPEAKER_01: God has given us the gift of our wives to enjoy, so don't waste it.
SPEAKER_01: Gentlemen, we're gonna wake up one day.
SPEAKER_01: Our kids are gonna be older, and we're gonna come to the stark reality that we're gonna reap the benefit of that which we have sown into our lives and into our marriages.
SPEAKER_01: Can I just tell you, my life right now is busy.
SPEAKER_01: I have five kids, but I didn't tell you that the oldest is seven.
SPEAKER_01: Alright?
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, someone gasped.
SPEAKER_01: I heard it.
SPEAKER_01: Someone was like, oh, yeah, I know, it's crazy.
SPEAKER_01: Seven, five, three, two in ten months.
SPEAKER_01: And praise God, I got six hours and twenty minutes of sleep last night.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Come on, someone.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're fresh today, baby.
SPEAKER_01: Come on.
SPEAKER_01: Busyness is not an excuse to not be present, though.
SPEAKER_01: I think some of the best decisions I've ever made in my life in the context of my marriage is to set boundaries, to set reminders, and to be intentional with my presence in my home.
SPEAKER_01: I mean this as practical, as like maybe deciding that there are certain times of day that certain applications on your phone will be available for you to scroll through because the time you have with your children or with your wife after you've clocked out is more important than the time you could be decompressing because you feel like you're carrying a weight that's heavy.
SPEAKER_01: Are you with me?
SPEAKER_01: See, our wives are a gift, and hear me.
SPEAKER_01: Our presence is our response to the gift.
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna say that again.
SPEAKER_01: Our wives are a gift from God.
SPEAKER_01: And our presence is how we respond to the gift God's given us.
SPEAKER_01: So Solomon says, don't miss what God has already put in your hands.
SPEAKER_01: Wisdom is learning to slow down long enough to receive the gift that God has already given us.
SPEAKER_01: We have to lead with presence.
SPEAKER_01: Secondly, we have to lead with honor.
SPEAKER_01: Genesis 2, 18, we come to a passage in the creation narrative in which, if you're familiar with the text, uh Genesis 1 documents how God created the earth and everything within it.
SPEAKER_01: And we come into chapter 2, and God creates man and his own likeness and in his own image.
SPEAKER_01: And we come to verse 18, and there's this interesting moment in which it says, The Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone.
SPEAKER_01: I will make a helper fit for him.
SPEAKER_01: The Hebrew phrase helper fit for him, it means a corresponding strength.
SPEAKER_01: It means a partner who stands face to face.
SPEAKER_01: Now this is interesting because Eve, then, woman, is not an inferior support.
SPEAKER_01: She is God's answer to man's incompleteness.
SPEAKER_01: It's interesting to me because I've recently, in my own personal study, been reading back through the creation narrative, and I underlined all throughout my Bible this phrase that happens after God creates everything.
SPEAKER_01: He goes through, God created the sun and the moon, a light to rule the day, a light to rule the night, and there was day and there was night, and God saw it and it was good, right?
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
SPEAKER_01: Now it was interesting to me because when you come to chapter 2 and you look back at verse 18, what you find is that there is one thing that God looks at and sees that it's not good.
SPEAKER_01: And it's man being alone.
SPEAKER_01: I tend to think that we've been conditioned to believe in our culture, that we're more masculine when we can carry a weight to look impressive and prove ourselves worthy, rather than realizing true strength comes in leaning into the strength of the Holy Spirit and God's created order for our life.
SPEAKER_01: What I mean by that is I think many of us despise the gift of our wives because we spend more time trying to impress her than we do embracing her.
SPEAKER_01: Men, we need our wives.
SPEAKER_01: And not need in the same sense that we need Jesus to save us from our sin.
SPEAKER_01: Because we need a savior.
SPEAKER_01: What I mean is that there's a recognition that comes through maturity, being a man of God, that says what God has given me is a gift, and it's not something for me to consume, it's something for me to steward.
SPEAKER_01: And I tend to believe that when something is a necessity in my life, I won't treat it like an accessory.
SPEAKER_01: When I realize my need for something, I treat it differently than something that I simply want.
SPEAKER_01: And the more mature a man becomes, the more he recognizes how much he needs his wife.
SPEAKER_01: See, our wives are a gift from God.
SPEAKER_01: They're given to us as a helper, a strength that God has given us.
SPEAKER_01: See, a good wife is not proof that a man succeeded.
SPEAKER_01: She's evidence that God is involved.
SPEAKER_01: And look, Genesis, when we read through this, it reframes masculinity.
SPEAKER_01: If you look back through the creation narrative, you find that God said man was not fit to be alone, meaning that there was something missing from him.
SPEAKER_01: It meant that strength that we carry was not enough.
SPEAKER_01: The authority that we carry as men was not enough.
SPEAKER_01: The purpose that we carry as men was not enough.
SPEAKER_01: Adam or man needed partnership.
SPEAKER_01: So hear me when I say this.
SPEAKER_01: Before sin enters the story, authority exists, right?
SPEAKER_01: Difference exists, order exists, but hierarchy without honor does not exist.
SPEAKER_01: Do you hear what I'm saying today, men?
SPEAKER_01: That there is a role that we serve in our home.
SPEAKER_01: There is a biblical hierarchy for the family.
SPEAKER_01: There is a nuclear family, the way God designed it in his created order.
SPEAKER_01: And yet, what I'm proposing today is that there's hierarchy, but there's not hierarchy without honor.
SPEAKER_01: See, even in the text, Adam names the animals alone.
SPEAKER_01: He has the responsibility of carrying a weight that God gave him solo, but he doesn't name Eve until he recognizes her as bone of his bone.
SPEAKER_01: Meaning that he honors Eve even in naming her.
SPEAKER_01: So here's some practicality.
SPEAKER_01: To honor your wife means that you speak of her with weight.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, if we speak about our wives casually, dismissively, or jokingly in ways that shrink them, we're dishonoring the gift God's entrusted to us.
SPEAKER_01: You've read the proverb that says the power of life and death is in the Tongue.
SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of the times the way that we speak of individuals, but especially our wives, is not just harming or building them up to other people.
SPEAKER_01: I think it's actually framing and shaping the perception that we have of them in our own hearts.
SPEAKER_01: Secondly, you protect her dignity.
SPEAKER_01: I think one of the best decisions my wife and I made in setting boundaries in our marriage in the beginning stages was we predetermined proactively who we would and would not speak to for counsel when things went sideways.
SPEAKER_01: Hey, look, if you're not married, that's an A1 decision right there, okay?
SPEAKER_01: Because we said to each other, hey, uh my mama is my mama.
SPEAKER_01: She's your mama in law.
SPEAKER_01: But I'm her son.
SPEAKER_01: So when things go sideways, I'm gonna protect my wife's dignity and not go running back to my mama and talking sideways of my wife.
SPEAKER_01: Even in our friendships, we've learned this principle in leadership.
SPEAKER_01: It's the same thing.
SPEAKER_01: Man, whenever you feel like you have to vent frustration or things are happening that you know you need to seek counsel on, man, I don't go peer-to-peer and start talking about my wife in a way that's gonna be dismissive of her or dishonoring of her.
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna protect her dignity by going to someone who's gonna look at me and first point to me and say, hey, what part do you play in this, dude?
SPEAKER_01: You recognize her as someone entrusted to you, not consumed by you.
SPEAKER_01: Man, can I just say this today?
SPEAKER_01: Man, I think it's so vitally important to not ignore in church.
SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, this is a this is an environment in which we are growing closer to the Lord.
SPEAKER_01: But I want to be as brutally honest and candid as I can.
SPEAKER_01: Beware of the sources you are allowing to shape the lens through which you see women in your life.
SPEAKER_01: Because our culture is conditioning us to consume.
SPEAKER_01: Pornography runs rampant in our society, but it's not just like pornography, it's social media, it's the way things are presented in media in general, it's the reason that we don't even watch half the shows that maybe we used to watch because it's hard to get away from this conditioning that's transactional and consumption-minded, consumer-oriented, and in our relationship, especially to our wife, we can slip real quick or drift real quick into thinking that this is more a transaction and something to be consumed than something we've been entrusted with by God to steward well.
SPEAKER_01: I think every man in the room would agree, and ladies, you can say amen loud if you want to as well.
SPEAKER_01: But like it's not always X produces, Y produces Z, and we have a happy ending at the end of the night.
SPEAKER_01: I really thought someone would say amen pretty loud right there.
SPEAKER_01: But like life is nuanced.
SPEAKER_01: So if we slip into this mentality that we start to treat our wives as something to be consumed, we'll fail to steward that which we've been entrusted.
SPEAKER_01: See, wise men don't dominate their wives, they steward them.
SPEAKER_01: Wise men don't treat marriage like a reward for success, they treat it like a sacred assignment.
SPEAKER_01: Can I tell you today, men, this is like a this is something to fight for?
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we've been set apart by God in a society that's like anti this.
SPEAKER_01: And if we'll take this on and wear it like a badge of honor and realize that we represent something that can actually set some captives free, I think it would empower us to stand in the trenches and actually realize that God has empowered us to carry a weight that there's not many men strong enough or brave enough to carry in this culture.
SPEAKER_01: But if we'll carry this and we'll walk through life honoring the women and the wives in our lives to say we'll speak of them with weight, we'll protect their dignity, we'll recognize them as someone who's been entrusted to us.
SPEAKER_01: I'm telling you right now, that sacred assignment will move the needle more than you think.
SPEAKER_01: There are young men in that kid's ministry who need to see men who are willing to stand in the gap and honor with consistency.
SPEAKER_01: We have to lead with presence, we have to lead with honor, and we have to lead with consistency.
SPEAKER_01: Ephesians 5, 25 through 27.
SPEAKER_01: The apostle Paul writes to the church at Ephesus and he says this, he says, Husbands, love your wives.
SPEAKER_01: Okay, pause.
SPEAKER_01: We are called as men to love our wives, but listen to what Paul says next, because this is like real, this is like big league stuff, okay?
SPEAKER_01: He says, as Christ loved the church, we are to love our wives.
SPEAKER_01: That's like a that's a big commission, okay?
SPEAKER_01: That's a big deal.
SPEAKER_01: Because he says, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
SPEAKER_01: Husbands, circle back to 25, love your wives that way.
SPEAKER_01: You know, when you look at the beginning of verse 25, um, it uses the Greek root agape, which represents the love of God, not the Greek root eros, which is emotion first love.
SPEAKER_01: That tells us something because Paul's saying, hey, love with the love of Christ, your wife.
SPEAKER_01: This love that we're speaking of here is of the will, meaning it's intentional, it's sacrificial, it's repetitive, it's covenant-shaped love.
SPEAKER_01: See, Christ's love is not reactive, Christ's love is initiating.
SPEAKER_01: So, Paul, he doesn't call us as husbands to intensity, he calls us to faithful, patterned love.
SPEAKER_01: And can I tell you today, spiritual leadership is not a moment, it's a consistent rhythm.
SPEAKER_01: When Paul uses this language, wash her with the word, he's using imagery that's used to describe priestly duties in the old covenant.
SPEAKER_01: So Paul is saying the husband actually acts as a spiritual gardener.
SPEAKER_01: He creates an environment where holiness can grow.
SPEAKER_01: So wash her with the word, hear me.
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean that we preach at our wives.
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean that we correct them constantly.
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean that we win theological debates when they arise in our homes.
SPEAKER_01: It means that we shape the environment of our home.
SPEAKER_01: Man, I had this epiphany in first service and I shared.
SPEAKER_01: Um I know for you all here in Frankfurt, it was the same in Middle Tennessee the past few weeks because there's a giant grip of ice still in the parking lot, right?
SPEAKER_01: It's been cold.
SPEAKER_01: Someone say cold.
SPEAKER_01: I love the winter.
SPEAKER_01: I spent 10 years almost in Phoenix, Arizona, and I get excited for it to get cold because I can wear a sweater finally.
SPEAKER_01: Praise God.
SPEAKER_01: But man, it's been cold recently.
SPEAKER_01: Now, with that in mind, how many of you know it would be pretty foolish to clock out of work to make your drive home and to walk through the front door of your house and for the atmosphere of your home, the temperature of your home to be set by however it feels outside.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I feel that.
SPEAKER_01: Because you would be cold.
SPEAKER_01: I could just imagine my wife and five children just bundled up in big old sweaters.
SPEAKER_01: My wife's a native to Phoenix.
SPEAKER_01: She'd be like, you are out of your mind.
SPEAKER_01: Turn the heat on.
SPEAKER_01: Turn the thermostat on.
SPEAKER_01: And yet I close my eyes and I get this mental image of how many of us are clocking out of work and we're carrying the weight and the stress of what it feels like to have to lead and to have to be on consistently.
SPEAKER_01: And to know that we're going home and we're stepping into an environment where we just got to change the hat a little bit, but we still gotta be on and be present.
SPEAKER_01: And I wonder how many of us, our spiritual climate of our home, looks like a house that the thermostat hasn't been kicked up.
SPEAKER_01: And we've walked into our home and it's cold.
SPEAKER_01: And we're just allowing it to be cold because that's what we feel like today.
SPEAKER_01: And I just sense the Holy Spirit saying to the men in the room, you set the spiritual temperature of your home.
SPEAKER_01: It's a weight and a responsibility for us men to lead and posture ourselves to set the climate of our homes.
SPEAKER_01: That means that we model repentance, we model prayer, we model obedience, we model a life lived in Christ Jesus.
SPEAKER_01: Man, I don't want my kids to grow up and to look at their dad with a microphone in his hand and then to reflect back on their living room and feel like the Holy Spirit didn't dwell there like he dwelt with dad when he spoke.
SPEAKER_01: I don't want my kids to grow up and go, man, dad turned on Caleb on the way to church and we coasted into church.
SPEAKER_01: But man, by the time we hit Sunday afternoon, you would have never known the Holy Spirit dwelt with us.
SPEAKER_01: Man, I refuse to let my life be shaped by things of this world while claiming Christ.
SPEAKER_01: I'm telling you, this isn't domination, this is spiritual leadership that we are responsible for as men.
SPEAKER_01: See, here's the thing: Scripture never commands wives to make their husbands holy, but Scripture does command husbands to take responsibility for the spiritual climate.
SPEAKER_01: And here, I want to set some men free in the room today before you look and go, yeah, but bro, you're a pastor, okay?
SPEAKER_01: You know how to talk.
SPEAKER_01: Can I tell you that consistency matters more than intensity?
SPEAKER_01: And I know every wife in the room wants to amen when I say that.
SPEAKER_01: You can say it.
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
SPEAKER_01: All right?
SPEAKER_01: Consistency matters more than intensity.
SPEAKER_01: See, consistency looks like regular prayer, even if it's short.
SPEAKER_01: Man, I'll never forget our pastor in Phoenix used to say to the church all the time, he would say, the most intimate thing that you will ever do in your marriage is pray out loud with one another.
SPEAKER_01: And I remember being like, I think you missed one, because like I got five kids, and I think there's some other things that are.
SPEAKER_01: But you know, it's interesting to me because I'll never forget what was it, the early years of our our marriage, like year one.
SPEAKER_01: It was almost so crippling to think about taking hands and praying out loud that I think it took us like six months to actually like do it.
SPEAKER_01: And I just remember coming to this place of realizing there is such power and being comfortable enough.
SPEAKER_01: When I say comfortable, I really mean being vulnerable enough to take the hands of your wife and to just pray a simple blessing over her life or over her day.
SPEAKER_01: And you don't have to be perfect, man.
SPEAKER_01: I'm telling you, you don't have to have all the words.
SPEAKER_01: I think sometimes when we when we sit down to pray, it can be as simple as God, my wife is a gift that you've given me, and I pray that you'd bless her today.
SPEAKER_01: It can be that simple.
SPEAKER_01: But if we will take up that kind of spiritual stewardship and leadership in our homes, watch what will happen in our lives and in our marriages.
SPEAKER_01: Consistency looks like um scripture spoken naturally, not forcefully.
SPEAKER_01: Um, there's an implication here, and that that's that we know the word of God.
SPEAKER_01: I get asked the question all the time: how do you know when God speaks?
SPEAKER_01: How do you know his voice?
SPEAKER_01: And I always point people to scripture.
SPEAKER_01: You want to know what God is like?
SPEAKER_01: Look at the life of Jesus.
SPEAKER_01: Read through the scripture and understand what his will and purpose is for your life.
SPEAKER_01: Man, I'm telling you, if we're not regularly scheduling time to sit down and equip ourselves with truth, we're gonna be at a deficit whenever the noise starts to blur our reality.
SPEAKER_01: We have to speak scripture into our homes and into our lives.
SPEAKER_01: A tone of grace and not criticism.
SPEAKER_01: Gentleness is a a fruit of the spirit.
SPEAKER_01: Gentlemen, gentle men.
SPEAKER_01: We should carry grace.
SPEAKER_01: I I think it's easy to be harsh.
SPEAKER_01: I'll be honest with you, it's like way easier to be harsh than it is to be gentle.
SPEAKER_01: But I think someone needs to hear today there's a tone of grace that your heavenly father gives to you to empower you and to give you mercy as his son that he expects to be given to his daughters and to your children who are sons and daughters.
SPEAKER_01: Consistency looks like leading first, not demanding followership.
SPEAKER_01: I feel this um I feel this so uh heavily in my heart this morning.
SPEAKER_01: It's really difficult to lead in a space that you've never followed in.
SPEAKER_01: Meaning it's it's extremely difficult to be a husband and a father that looks like Jesus if I've never received from Jesus.
SPEAKER_01: I I I did a practice a few years ago in which I actually wrote out all the roles that I carry in my life.
SPEAKER_01: And I remember sitting down, I was like, I'm a father, I'm a husband, I'm a pastor, I'm a friend, I'm a you know brother, I'm a and I just wrote them all out to understand the different weights and hats that I carried in my life.
SPEAKER_01: And you know what?
SPEAKER_01: I had to come to the realization of is before I'm any of those things, I'm a son of the Most High God.
SPEAKER_01: And you know what?
SPEAKER_01: It's really difficult to be a father and to be a husband and to be a pastor and whatever else you know you carry, whether it's CEO, businessman, um, you know, tradesman, whatever, whatever the hats may be in your life, it's really difficult to fulfill those if you're not first a son of the Most High God.
SPEAKER_01: And so hear me.
SPEAKER_01: Like we have to receive from Jesus, through the power of the Holy Spirit, what it takes to live with consistency.
SPEAKER_01: But I want to urge you today to understand, men, our wives should feel safer spiritually because we're in the room.
SPEAKER_01: Our wives shouldn't have to beg us to be spiritually present.
SPEAKER_01: And see, spiritual leadership is not about being impressive, it's about being faithful.
SPEAKER_01: It's consistency that matters more than intensity.
SPEAKER_01: It's not about perfection, it's about setting a direction in your home.
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna close here.
SPEAKER_01: Uh God's given us many gifts under the sun.
SPEAKER_01: He's given us work, time, breath in our lungs, opportunity, the ability to experience.
SPEAKER_01: But one of the most sacred gifts a man receives is a wife to enjoy, to honor, and to lead.
SPEAKER_01: Now listen to me, wisdom is not found in having her.
SPEAKER_01: Wisdom is found in opening the gift every single day.
SPEAKER_01: See, a wise man doesn't wait until life slows down to love his wife well.
SPEAKER_01: He understands that this is the work God has given him under the sun.
SPEAKER_01: One day, success will fade.
SPEAKER_01: One day, work will end.
SPEAKER_01: One day, schedules will stop demanding your attention.
SPEAKER_01: One day, those muscles that you're so impressed with are gonna start to deteriorate.
SPEAKER_01: We can go on and on, right?
SPEAKER_01: But wisdom asks the question now will you still have enjoyed the gift God placed in your hands?
SPEAKER_01: So, men, open the gift.
SPEAKER_01: No one else can do it for you.
SPEAKER_01: Show up.
SPEAKER_01: Speak with honor, lead with consistency, not perfectly, not impressively, but faithfully.
SPEAKER_01: Because wisdom isn't about getting it right every day.
SPEAKER_01: It's about refusing to leave the gifts of God unopened.
SPEAKER_01: Now, before we pray, I want to take a moment to speak to the wives in the room.
SPEAKER_01: I know for a minute there you were like, man, this whole entire thing just went right over my head, dude.
SPEAKER_01: Can't believe he just talked to my husband the entire message.
SPEAKER_01: Some of you are are married to men who are trying imperfectly, sometimes clumsily.
SPEAKER_01: If you talk to my wife, maybe most of the time clumsily.
SPEAKER_01: But they're trying sincerely.
SPEAKER_01: Now others of you are carrying weight that feels unseen.
SPEAKER_01: And some of you are in seasons where this message today is painful, it's not inspiring.
SPEAKER_01: See, this message, it's it's not meant to place a pressure on you.
SPEAKER_01: It's not meant to give you a measuring stick to hold over your husband.
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so before you go to lunch and you grab your notebook from service and say, Well, what did you learn today, honey?
SPEAKER_01: Why don't you tell me all about your experience with the message today, huh?
SPEAKER_01: It's a reminder that this is meant to invite him upward and to remind you that God sees you and that he honors you, and that he values the gift that you are.
SPEAKER_01: You're not a side character in someone else's calling.
SPEAKER_01: You're a gift that's entrusted by God, worthy of presence, worthy of honor, and worthy of faithful love.
SPEAKER_01: And even when human leadership falls short, the Lord remains faithful.
SPEAKER_01: So ultimately, our hope is not in perfect husbands or in perfect marriages.
SPEAKER_01: Husbands are our worth.
SPEAKER_01: Our hope is not in perfect wives or in perfect marriages in perfect scenarios.
SPEAKER_01: Our hope is in a faithful Savior who never grows distant.
SPEAKER_01: He never withholds his presence and he never stops loving his bride.
SPEAKER_01: And that's the hope we hold on to today.
SPEAKER_01: No matter the roles we serve in life, no matter our current situation or circumstances, we have a savior and his name is Jesus.
SPEAKER_01: And he loves us and he gave himself for us that we might have forgiveness of sin and eternal life with God.
SPEAKER_01: And I want to tell you today, for as much as this is a challenging word that I'm sure has led us into some conviction today, to say, Man, am I truly stewarding that which God has entrusted to us?
SPEAKER_01: I want to remind you today that his grace is sufficient for you and his power is made perfect in your weakness.
SPEAKER_01: So if you're here this morning and you're wrestling, you're grappling with what does this look like for me, I'm so far down the line, I'm so deep in the trenches right now.
SPEAKER_01: What does it look for me?
SPEAKER_01: Can I remind you that we serve a God who is more than able?
SPEAKER_01: The pressure is not on you.
SPEAKER_01: The only pressure that's on you is to get to the feet of Jesus and to receive the grace that he is willing and able to give you to carry the weight that he's entrusted to you.
SPEAKER_01: Because he who finds a wife finds a good thing, which means God means he's already smiled on you.
SPEAKER_01: And he loves you.
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
SPEAKER_01: Let's pray.
SPEAKER_01: Father, thank you.
SPEAKER_01: I thank you for who you are, Jesus.
SPEAKER_01: I thank you for your mercy.
SPEAKER_01: I thank you for your grace.
SPEAKER_01: I thank you that you are worthy.
SPEAKER_01: God, this morning, I know.
SPEAKER_01: Just from how much that I've wrestled through this message and preparing it and having to look in the mirror of my own life and reconcile some of the ways in which I know I need to surrender greater to you and I need to love my wife and enjoy her the way that you've designed.
SPEAKER_01: God, I know that there are men under the sound of my voice this morning who are wrestling through that.
SPEAKER_01: Lord, if there's one thing I would ask in this space on behalf of the men who find themselves as husbands today, God, don't let this message stir up condemnation for the things that they've dropped.
SPEAKER_01: But God, let it lead them in conviction to your feet.
SPEAKER_01: To be reminded, God, that these moments are holy moments.
SPEAKER_01: They're stretching moments, they're trying moments, God, they're moments that we have to be brought to a place of vulnerability to acknowledge that you know what, we are incapable of carrying all of this weight on our own.
SPEAKER_01: So for the men in the room, God, I pray that you would help them to recognize what it is that you've designed for them.
SPEAKER_01: God, that they co-labor with you.
SPEAKER_01: That you are with them.
SPEAKER_01: God, that the weights that they feel, God, and those things that they're trying so hard to manage, God, they weren't meant to carry alone, but you are with them through every single moment that they face.
SPEAKER_01: God, equip them and encourage them to be more like you.
SPEAKER_01: God, to carry the weight well, to step into the leadership well, that they might be found as sons of the Most High God, representing who you are in every seat, in every role of their lives.
SPEAKER_01: And this morning, God, I pray for the wives of the women in this room, and I pray, Lord, that you would do a work in their hearts.
SPEAKER_01: God, to have the grace and the patience with their husbands if they feel like they've fallen short.
SPEAKER_01: God, I speak against any resentment in Jesus' name.
SPEAKER_01: Bitterness has no place in the hearts of your sons and daughters, and I pray today, God, that you would begin to uproot it through the power of your Holy Spirit and open their eyes with clarity to see what you have for them in their marriages and in their homes.
SPEAKER_01: God, I pray blessing upon this house.
SPEAKER_01: Father, this is a region of our country who desperately needs real men to step into real spaces of leadership with real authority that comes through the power of the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_01: God, not that which is manufactured.
SPEAKER_01: God, I pray that this house would be marked by blessing.
SPEAKER_01: God, fruitfulness and families.
SPEAKER_01: I pray that a generation of young people would grow up in the context of this community, being able to see what healthy homes look like, because there are men and women who decided that their life was surrendered to the Lord.
SPEAKER_01: And because they surrendered their lives to the Lord, they experienced the hand of provision of God in their lives.
SPEAKER_01: God, I pray that you would do what only you can do in and through marriages.
SPEAKER_01: And for those today that walked into this room, maybe they they barely had the faith to get to church this morning.
SPEAKER_01: God, I pray that you would bless and reconcile the places in their marriages, God, that feel like they are falling apart.
SPEAKER_01: God, I know what you can do.
SPEAKER_01: And we we sang it this morning, miracle after miracle, open door after open door.
SPEAKER_01: Let that not just be words from our lips, but a declaration of faith from our hearts to believe that there is no situation that is too far down and out that you can reconcile.
SPEAKER_01: God, I pray for your hand of reconciliation over the marriages in this church, God.
SPEAKER_01: I pray that you would do the work that only you can do, Father.
SPEAKER_01: And I pray that those who would have faith enough to believe it, God, would have a boldness in their heart, rise up, God, for them to experience and receive, God, the work of reconciliation that you desire to do in the church and through the marriages of this house.
SPEAKER_01: God, I thank you for it.
SPEAKER_01: And I pray today, Father, that your kingdom come and your will would be done right here on earth as it is in heaven, Jesus.
SPEAKER_01: We thank you for who you are, and we praise you in this place.
SPEAKER_01: We believe it in our heart, and we make a confession of our mouth today.
SPEAKER_01: In Jesus' mighty name.
SPEAKER_01: If you believe that today, church, can you say this?
SPEAKER_01: Say amen.
SPEAKER_01: Hey, I just want to say thank you.
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for the opportunity to be here this morning at Multiply.
SPEAKER_01: Um, I mean this sincerely.
SPEAKER_01: God is doing a work in this house.
SPEAKER_01: And if you're here today, I want to let you know if you're experiencing tension, frustration, you feel like there's been some gaps between you and your wife and your marriages or and those around you, you see it.
SPEAKER_01: Can I just tell you?
SPEAKER_01: It's because God wants to do something significant through the family in this church.
SPEAKER_01: Watch and be mindful and surrender your lives to the Holy Spirit, man, so that God can do a work in and through you all, that we can represent something that this world cannot receive through any other, other than Jesus at work in our lives.
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
Sallie: We're so grateful you joined us for this week's message.
Sallie: At Multiply, we believe life was never meant to be lived alone.
Sallie: If today you made the decision to follow Jesus, we'd be honored to walk with you on this journey.
Sallie: Visit multiplyky.com to let us know.
Sallie: We love you and we'll see you again soon.