Heated Rivalry Episode 4 (THIS! IS! NOT! ENOUGH!!!)

All the things she said, all the things she said, running through my head, running through my head!!!! We're back with a DEEP-DIVE of episode 4, and WOW! Did we have a lot to talk about! 

Join us to unpack the whole episode: ginger ale, tuna melt, hockey, montages, and that f***ing club scene. This whole episode was catharsis for us all. 

We'll be back with our recap of episode 5 & more regular episodes soon!! Until then, you can leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and let us know you're enjoying the show. You can also follow us on Instagram and Bluesky at @readirectpodcast. 

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome, Bonus Recap Setup
• 0:39 Quick CTA And Socials
• 3:37 Time Jump Montage And Meaning
• 6:54 Content Warning And On-Ice Foreplay
• 10:09 Locker Rooms, Texts, And Soft Smiles
• 11:13 Title Card And Aquarium Scene
• 12:39 Svetlana Reads Ilya
• 14:37 Hotel Room Alibis
• 16:10 The Doorbell, Nerves, And A Plan
• 18:02 No-Talk Rule Before They Kiss
• 19:20 Sex As Story: Shifts In Intimacy
• 22:15 Stay, Nap, And The Soft Wake
• 24:05 Tuna Melt And Ginger Ale As Love
• 27:00 Hockey Talk, Vulnerability, And “Lazy”
• 30:05 “I Like Girls, But I Like You”
• 32:15 Call From Home: Father And Fear
• 34:10 Cuddling, Panic, And “Hollander”
• 37:10 Parents, Wimbledon, And Suffocation
• 40:05 Bar Night: Rose Enters The Picture
• 42:00 Headlines Hit Ilya At Practice
• 44:05 The Club Sequence And Silent War
• 47:30 Cross-Cut: Not Enough

Transcript

Abigail: 0:00

I'm not normal about them. I'm not normal about it. I literally, this is when I started panicking. I was like, I was sitting there and my face was like this. I was like, oh no, for the audio, I'm grabbing my face. I was so stressed out. Welcome to the readirect podcast. I'm Abigail Freshley

Emily: 0:21

And I'm Emily Rojas. The Readirect Podcast is the show where we shift the conversation back to books. We discuss themes from some of our favorite books and how those themes show up in our real lived experiences.

Abigail: 0:31

On today's episode, on today's bonus episode, we are recapping episode four of Heated Rivalry.

Emily: 0:39

But before we get to that, if you love us and you're enjoying the show, go let us know by leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and tell us how much you like our show.

Abigail: 0:49

You can also follow us on Instagram and Blue Sky @readirectpodcast. You can follow Emily on all platforms at @emilyrojasreads and me on TikTok at Fabigail11. And if you really, really like the show, you can share our show with a friend. Because sharing our show with a friend is by far the best way to help us grow our community of book nerds .

Emily: 1:08

Thank God. I was just thinking today. I am so that I was thinking that. And I was also thinking like there's another timeline where you never try reading Heated Rivalry again and you don't watch the show. And I'm just depressed.

Abigail: 1:24

I'm such a good friend. You're lucky I'm a good friend. Because I was like, you know what? I'm gonna just do this for Emily. I heard her talking on the podcast about how she wishes she has I'm just gonna lock in and I'm just gonna try it again for Emily. For her. Yeah. It ended up being a really for me, but with the intention, yeah. Yes. So you know why being a good friend pays? That's what I was just thinking. Because there's there's a version of me, like you're the only friend I have who's watching this. Although a lot of people have been sending me like edits and stuff on TikTok, like, hey, I thought you might like this, but I mean, I would say like it is fun like having a group of people who are watching it. It's been fun texting friends about the show and like having people to chat about it with. Totally. So I'm really grateful and grateful that the listeners like it because it's really cathartic to discuss every episode in detail. I like, oh my god. I so you know, I was waiting until Friday night is when I was able to watch it, and all day I'm like, okay, I gotta like distract myself because I don't want to be spoiled. I mean, I know what's gonna happen, but I don't, you know, I want it to be fresh. And I feel like when I watched it, it was just such an onslaught of emotions. I feel like I basically blacked out half of the episode. And it wasn't until I rewatched it before this recording that I was like, okay, this is everything that happened. I I blacked the f out. Yeah, correct, correct. All I can remember is how it ends. Like, that's all I could think about was the ending. And so yeah, yeah. This, yeah. This is a show you almost have to watch twice. And every every episode, I think, oh, this is gonna be so great when you can watch all six back. Like when you can binge the season. It's just gonna hit relaxing amazing. Yeah. Okay, so I think for this one, I do have some like meta themes, but I think we should just jump in to the recap. Um, so by the way, I took there are so many notes about this one. Me too. I have pages pages. I had like a full page of notes, and then I'm like, holy sh, one of my notes. We just now got the title card, like so much. That's what part of my notes. Okay, this is why I'm saying, this is why I'm saying we just need to jump to the couple of things. Okay, so opening, and it is um My Moon Man by Um Feist is the song, and there is an a long opening montage. So and yes, and this follows the time jump in the book, which is something people were speculating about. So we jump a few years from 2014 to 2016, but this montage is covering what happens in those two years, so yes, and it's so good. There was some scene is like playing each other. Okay, by the way, big content warning for this one. I'm gonna go hard on the explicit note. We have to, unfortunately. Okay, so warning from the first episode stance. Literally, like if you know it's in real life, just little ears. Don't need to hear that. Delicate ears, don't need to hear this. Okay, so okay, so they're doing a face-off. That's how it starts. And Ilya's like, should I go for hat trick now? I'm not normal about them. I'm not normal about it. I literally, this is when I started panicking. I was like, I was sitting there and my face was like this. I was like, oh no, for the audio, I'm grabbing my face. I was so stressed out. Yeah, yeah, but I love them. They're playing hockey, and then I my life hit a different trajectory, and I will never get back on the one I was on before. Because there is a sequence, and I I don't know if you know what I'm gonna say, when Ilya is wall checking Shane into the into the like on the rink, into the boards, into the boards, and then it cuts to him picking him from behind and pushing his face into the bed. Yes. I had to pause it. I had to pause. Correct, correct. That's an appropriate reaction. I just don't have words for that. I don't either. All I can think was if there are any hockey players out there watching the show, um, and they see that sequence, and now like in their minds, like aggressive playing is gonna be inextricably linked to like getting railed. Like, shout out to you guys. I I have literally no words, and it's so good because in this does like in the books, okay, they have this like thing where they're kind of like flirty on the ice, but people often mistake it for like Ilya sh talking, but he'll be like, he'll say something that's like is actually genuinely flirtation. And people are like, oh my god, what an asshole. And so this does that without doing that. It's like, oh, these two things are connected, like them playing each other is like this intense emotional experience, and also like then their sexual relationship is it's like foreplay, like them playing against each other, and so I just love this montage because it's like, yeah, this this says everything you need to know in the world. Also, in the montage, it's showing Shane winning the cup twice, um, and them like looking in their respective locker rooms at like their upcoming schedule, and then like kind of like locking in on the dates that they're gonna play each other, and then like sending a text, like and then like before the game, you're seeing like can't wait to see you later, and then they're like wall checking each other, and then also like getting pushed up against a shower wall. Yeah, I I was so it was a lot, it was an onslaught. I was spit is it's like a sensory overload experience. Okay, you know that TikTok audio that is from Sinners, which is actually a very serious movie, and I don't mean to degrade that movie at all. But when he's like, Sometimes when I think about that night, I get paralyzed. Uh-huh. But before the sun went down, it was the best day of my life. So I stopped watching this opening montage. That's so real. I um was overwhelmed, and then like what else happens in that montage? Um, okay, so we see also Shane wearing his glasses. Oh, subtle glasses sighting, subtle foreshadowing. If you know, you know. If you know book readers, no. So I was like, oh my goodness, I didn't even notice, by the way. I was like, oh, he's wearing his glasses. Like, how did I miss? There's just so much going on. I locked in on the club. The second time I watched it, I got the glasses. Okay. Um, and then there's that one text where where uh Shane texts Ilya and he's like, Hey, do you feel like getting murdered in an alley in Montreal tonight? And it's like, what is the writer's obsession with murder jokes? I don't know, but I love it. So it was just they're so cute. He's and then Shane's running with Hayden a lot, and then they're in the gym. Yes. Um Ilya's watching him win the Stanley Cup twice. Ilya is with Vetlana some or seeing them together. Yeah. Implied that he is regularly hooking up with women. Also, but it starts to change a little bit. It does. Because in that same montage, the montage was key. A lot happened. A lot of information. The first time he wins the cup, uh-huh. Shane wins the cup. Ilya's watching the screen and he's like smiling softly to himself. He's by himself. The second time he wins the cup, which is like back-to-back years, uh-huh. Yeah. Uh, he's like with a bunch of friends, he's like, it should have been me. Whatever. Blah. And then he's like at a bar and this girl is hitting on him, and he's like, he's looking like Shane. Yeah. How did I forget this? One of the times when Shane wins the cup, he's like in the locker room celebrating, doing the champagne and stuff with his teammates, and he's texting Ilya. Correct. This is what I wrote in my notes. Um, Shane wins the Stanley Cup or whatever the equivalent is in this fake world, and he's on his phone. Like, hockey players aren't texting their wives that much, they're not talking to their families for like three days after they win the cup. Like, they're in the club. And meanwhile, Shane's like texting his DL situationship, like after winning this the cup for the second time, like everybody's celebrating around him, and he's down bad. Oh my god. I love this too. It's like, yeah, you get these little clips, and then that moment where Ilya ignores the woman in the club, and it's like that tells you everything you need to know, like about these characters. And it's like a couple, I mean it's a couple minutes, it's a lengthy montage, but it's like we're covering two years. Yeah, and it's like that montage covered everything you needed to know in two years. Yeah. And then the title card hits, and I'm like, Yes, wait, whoa, wait.

Emily: 10:00

Correct.

Abigail: 10:01

Yeah. Um, so yeah, then we're in October 2016, which is where we pick up with the with the main plot of this episode. So it opens, and after the title card, Shane and Hayden are at an aquarium with Hayden's three children. Correct. I have so many things to say about the scene. First of all, they were like, We don't want to deal with hiring child actors. Correct. We don't want to have an onset teacher, we don't have to so they were like, we're literally gonna pipe in children's voices and we're not gonna show their bodies, which I thought was hilarious, and I love that. Yeah. Also, they're getting their mileage out of that LED screen. Correct. That's like every single scene. Every single scene. And I didn't know if they were just trying to make it look like an LED screen or they were trying to make it look like there was really jellyfish behind them. The second time I watched it, I think it was supposed to be an LED screen. Yeah. Because there's like a sign that says, like, you know, it's like an art display or something. It's not actually meant to be an aquarium, I don't think. Yeah. Well, whatever. Still. So he's having this conversation with Hayden, and Hayden is like, hey, like, have you ever seen do you ever see your ex? Or hey, like, do you want to get with Jackie's friend? She's like a hot friend, yeah. Hot yoga teacher. And Shane is like, uh, yeah, man, uh, I don't know. No. Yeah. And he's kind of like evading the question. This part made me so sad because it's just like you start to see this episode, really to me, is like obviously Ilya's going through his thing, but also so is Shane, and you like really see it in this episode. All the like the war he's at with himself, and like his inability to have close relationships with the people in his life because he doesn't feel like he can be honest about who he is, and it just made me really sad, especially when he he Hayden walks away and he's like, Tell your dad to leave me alone to the little baby. Oh, it's like fun. And this is also the beginning of the ginger ale um metaphor. Yes, because he he says something like we gotta make Jackie happy, and he's like, he's like, I have to make your wife happy now, and he's like, Yeah, if you want her to like keep cooking you that like weird healthy food and stalking the house with ginger ale. Yeah. Because Shane is not truly known by many people, and at this point he's not truly known by Hayden yet, but Hayden is one of his best friends, yeah, and he stocks his house with ginger row for a chain. And the two little girl hockey players fans already come up to him and they're like, Are you Shane Hollander? Yeah, that was really cute. That was cute. Don't talk to me. And then there was a cute, funny moment on the way back out to the car where he was like, Okay, that's five times for the swear jar. I'm supposed to text I'm supposed to text Jackie after five times. I thought that was cute. He calls him a narc. Yes. Um, yeah. Then we cut to uh Ilyo watching the like, you know, real estate insider of Shane and his fortress of solitude, which apt um his cottage on the lake or whatever. Yeah. So he's watching him do yoga. Yeah. And Svedlana is like, oh, like, and he's like, Oh, he's so boring, whatever, but he's watching it. And Svetlana's like, he's hot. And I feel like in this moment, Svedlana really has his number. And I think so. Like, I liked her in the book, but more so in the show. I think she's like more complex. And I really like Svedlana. Me too. She never tries to make their relationship more than what it is. Yeah, they hook up Catholics. Like she knows him, she knows what the deal is, and she's not. And she's also accepting of his attraction to men. Like, she in the show version of Svetlana knows that. Yeah, yeah. Um, and I like her a lot. Yeah, I think she kind of has his number about Shane. I would agree. I think she does. Or I think she's like suspicious, like I mean Tessa Waters here, and he's hot. Yeah, you react. Yeah, right? Don't you agree? Yeah, so then because also, like, yeah, why are you watching this? You supposedly hate this guy. Why are you watching him him like do yoga on HGTV, you know? And then Shane, then it cuts to Ilya and Savana in the back of a car together. And she's asking about like, hey, do you like do you have a girlfriend or anything serious right now? And he's like, no. And he's like, Well, what about Jane? Dashnish Jane? I feel like I've watched that scene so much from the trailer. Dash Jane. Like, he's like, she was like, I mean, we've been texting her for years. I thought it was serious. Yeah. And he's like, Oh. He's like, no, not that. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, it's nothing. Then we get the mirror image of that scene. Yeah. Shane is in a hotel room with Hayden on one of their road trips. Another de pause here. Do you like is the NHL like broke? Like, why do they all have to share hotel rooms? I don't think this is actually. I've heard a lot of criticism about this because this comes up a lot in like hockey books. I I really don't think they do share hotel rooms. Unless you're like a rookie and you know they're not like in the AHL or something. Yeah, oh definitely, yeah. But like in the NHL, I don't think they're actually sharing rooms. I think this is like a plot device and not true to life. That would be my that would that's my understanding. Right. So yeah, so he's supposed to be sharing a hotel room with Hayden. Uh again, Hayden is hilarious in this scene, but Jane is like literally the most conspicuous person, the most obvious. He's like, hey, hey, um, you're overexplaining. Uh I'm gonna go hang out with a friend, but uh it's just a friend, and um, it's not uh anyone else.

Emily: 15:37

Yeah.

Abigail: 15:38

And Hayden's like, okay, yeah, I know you text Lily. Sure, sure. Yeah, like, and again, he does like there's Hayden is not clocking him. He does think this is a girl named Lily. He does. If he makes a joke, he's like, and then Shane says, go f yourself, man. And he goes, I will, probably twice. Hayden, I did let me just say, I've seen some people say Hayden's like not how they pictured him. Hayden is exactly how I pictured him. Like, he is to me perfect, you know? So I love him. Token straight. Yeah. Now we're at probably the most life-changing thing that's ever happened to me. Correct. Okay. The amount of notes I have of just this like the lifetime is insane. So let's go. He goes over, he rings the doorbell, and Ilya my note is Ilya, quote, cash work. No, be pause before you even get to Ilya coming to the door. Okay, what do you think? Have you seen all those things where he's like, Shane is like being weird, he like rings the doorbell, but then he like knocks the wall, and then he goes to the door and knocks the door. Like he's like so nervous and he doesn't know what he's doing. Yes, he's like, he's like, okay, doorbell, door, and then an Ilya comes around the corner, and this is the beginning of his coordinated plan to lure Shane into being his husband for a night. Essentially, false sense of security, yeah. Like, so what happens if he comes around the corner and what? And he he like fixes his hair. First of all, he's not wearing a shirt. He should wear it. He's fixing his hair, and he's like, it's like that thing of like the nerves. If you're like, okay, do I look okay? Yes, every every detail. It is giving the same energy I brought in to when I made note cards about Reliant K to impress my crush in middle school, right? It's like giving I have the coordinated plan. Like this is my plan. My game plan. Yes. It's rolling out right now. Yes, and he's not even gonna be able to say no because he's not even gonna notice what's happening until it's too late. And then he'll be so happy that he won't say no. Yes, exactly. Like science. So yes. He logic himself into a situation. Yes. Okay. So then Shane comes in and he's like, Do I need to take off my shoes? Do I take my shoes? He says, don't worry about it. But yeah, that's unbelievable because Yeah. You should take your shoes off. Shane is Asian. And Ilya is Eastern European. And those are two cultures where you take your shoes off. But whatever. Yeah, but I think he's like, just be comfortable. I feel like let's go with hits partners. He's like, no, no, no. He's like, no, don't worry about it. You're okay. Shane comes in and he's like, wow, do you know who the builder was for this house? Because he's just such a fucking. This is my house, to be fair. He says, Oh, Mr. Real Estate. I am so not normal about it. I'm not normal about it. Then they start kissing, and Shane's like, Hey, you think we should talk? He says, No, after. And it's like the same thing. It's like, yeah, I'm gonna I we're not gonna talk now. After I want you to be relaxed, though. I want like us to do this first, and then you'll be relaxed, and then you'll be like willing to do it. Yeah, also the context here is like Shane in the book, he every time he meets up with Ilya, he's like, This has to be the last time, it's gonna be the last time. Yeah, so he comes over with this mindset that okay, I'm gonna have to talk to Ilya and break things up. Yeah, but he never can. Yeah. So Ilya picks him up, kisses him on the counter. Then Hello? Cut to Shane riding him. That was so crazy.

Emily: 19:30

Oh my god.

Abigail: 19:33

It's so it was so casual too. It was for like five seconds, maybe less. Yeah. But then it flipped. Also an intimate way to have sex for them. Like they're face to face. Face to face. This is definitely an this as another thing I want to say. They're kissing. Yeah. Your kissing, it and it's like a juxtaposition to some of the ways they had sex in the past. And this is what I'd like to say. This show uh is more than sex because it uses sex as a plot device, correct? And most of their interactions in the first like six, seven years of their relationship are just sex, so you have to use the sex to move the plot forward, and there's subtle changes and adjustments in their sexual relationship that define the way that they're feeling about one another, and this is why Rachel Reed like this is why this book is compelling, it's not just like correct plot plot plot, smut, plot plot, smut. It's like the smut is the plot. It's the plot, yes, yes, yes, let's put that on our merch. So yes, when they're having so at the beginning of this episode in the montage, we're seeing this like very rough, more like less connected thing, not face-to-face, yeah. Now compared to this time. Right, yeah. But then also I think some of the reflections, and I would also like to say that some of these thoughts I were not my own original ones or ones my very intelligent friends and I talked about relating to the show. So shout out to you who you are. Yeah. But they were talking about um Ilya's character and why um like the sexiness of consent and like how Shane, like in the first two episodes, Ilya is topping Shane and kind of being like mean and controlling, yeah, but like in the exact writing the exact nice knife's edge of also being like, is okay, is it okay? Yeah, like uh and like taking care of him, yeah, and kind of allowing someone like Shane, who is like very tightly wound, yeah, and very stressed out and perfectionist and controlling to have no choice but to let go and to lose control for a little bit while Ia takes the burden of control. Yeah, and so it's like romantic in that way that he's being like, for once, like you just need to relax. I'll be in charge. I'm gonna tell you what to do. Yeah, and you're you're gonna have to worry you're doing something wrong. Yeah, because you're gonna know what you should do. Yeah, because I'm the one who's in control and I'm saying what I want, and so you don't have to be self-conscious because you're less sexually experienced. If I say that I want you to do this, it's because it turns me on.

Emily: 22:25

Yeah.

Abigail: 22:25

That's what I'm gonna say about Ilya. Yes, love him. Like, haters can stay out of our comments about Ilya. Yeah, I don't I don't want haters of either of them. And I think Ilya too, like he again, we're gonna keep talking about everything he does in this in this uh encounter, but like he is not vulnerable except during sex, and my baby, like this is like you said, this is his way of communicating, and him like he's only able to be vulnerable during these moments, and so yes, and like the two of them, their only language is sex, yeah, yeah, and that comes up later, so yeah, excuse me. So that extremely graphic clip of like an incredible performance by Hudson and Connor, by the way. Yes, yeah, just completely sold out to it, yeah, and then it's like afterward, and Ilya is like basically come come and cuddle or whatever. Yeah, like then he asks him to stay. Or you could stay, and he says, I'm not done with you, and then he says stay again, and then Shane's like, okay. No, because then it's the same thing, because he's like, Alright, I'm gonna take a chance and show my soft underbelly for a second, but I want you to stay. But yeah, like I just want to have more sex, yeah, yeah. But like you could stay. It's purely horny, yeah. And then Shane is like, Whoa, I he's like, is hating your mother? Like, who could like why who cares? You don't have an afternoon game, you don't have morning practice. Yeah, there's no reason you can't stay. Yeah. And then Shane is like, okay. He's like, okay. Fine. Okay, okay. So then we take a nap. No. And we get the most unbelievable moment of Ilya yearning. Yes. Because he like subtly wakes up just a little bit, and Shane is still sleeping, and he moves a little bit, and Ilya like nestles into him a little bit. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And then they both wake up and he's like, I'm hungry. Are you hungry? And it's like, yeah. And again, this is this is like I love the show because a worse show has to be explicit that Ilya's feelings have changed. But this show doesn't have to say that. It's just showing us that his feelings have changed, you know, and yeah, the acting is Connor's story deserves to be counted in something. Give him like a like an Oscar-worthy role. Like, give him something. Because yeah, he doesn't have to say, like, you don't have to have him texting Svetlana, oh, I have this crush or whatever. Like, yes. That's what a worse show would have done. And instead, he his little micro expressions and just this one moment of just watching Shane sleep. It's like, oh, I see. Like, he's feeling differently than he was. You already start to see it. Um, even if you haven't read the books or like, you know, whatever. You you just know. So and it's like all the pieces are having to come together, like, oh, he planned this, like, like he's really calculated this. Yeah. So then he like has clothes ready for Shane to put on. Yeah. Like they're just right there, but he wasn't wearing a shirt, but then all of a sudden he has one of his shirts to like throw to him. Yeah. Okay. In his immaculate room where there's nothing out of place, but then he has a shirt ready. No. Don't talk to me. So then they go downstairs and he's like, You hungry? You want tuna- I make tuna mount? And he was like, Yeah. Shane says, You want to make me a tuna mount? And it's like, again, again, we have this moment of vulnerability. Pull back, pull back. Because he's like, Ilya says, I could take care of you, basically. I could make you a tuna mount because I care about you. Uh-huh. And like people are gonna be like, these, these, these girls are crazy for reading this on this. But it is that deep. It is that deep deep. He's like, he's like, I could make you a tuna mount. And then Shane goes, You want to make me a tuna mount?

Emily: 26:25

Yes.

Abigail: 26:25

And he's like you could see him freaking out. Like, you can see it. He's doing this like bid for connection. Yes. And then and then Ilya says, I make one for myself, I can make one for you too. Yeah, like it's not a big deal. And then he turns around in his fridge. He has like all of the ingredients for the tuna mount. Like the detail here. Like perfectly. And he pulls out, and it's like, he's like proud of himself. You know, he's like kind of puffing himself up of like, uh-huh, I'm gonna take care of my man. I did this for you. Yeah. Doing this for I'm taking care of you. And he's like, is ginger banner cold enough? And it's like exactly. I put it in the fridge. Did it have enough time to get cold for you? Because I knew you like ginger ale. Because I bought this just for you. This does not sit at my house. I just bought it because I knew you were coming over. Oh my god. So is it cold enough? Further enforced by the fact that he doesn't end up drinking a ginger ale, like only Shane does, right? It's not like he just had it. Yeah. No. Just like in the book. And yes. Um, so he whatever, he's making them the tuna melt. Yeah, I also really like this. I just coming fresh off reading um a book I've talked about on here, which is Family Meal by Brian Washington, where food is like a big thing, and there's like a dynamic where um both like his whatever, the main character's like partner grew up making like food in a certain way and having a certain relationship to food, and then like the moment that he first makes him a meal is like a really big deal because of the context. And I just think food is like such an interesting plot device in general because it is so tied to like emotion, and like who knows? Like, right? Like, you could read a million things into this. Maybe tuna melt is like something like Ilya eats when he's sad, or like maybe this is a comforting meal for him, or maybe he ate it growing up, and like you don't, or just maybe he's just something like he's casual, this is a good idea. Or like he's like, this is a thing I know how to make really well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna swing for the for the fences, hope that Shane says yes to staying over, and then if he does, I'm gonna have my back. It's gonna be perfect, yeah. It's just like I just like it, I like that. And you're just looking at Ilya, and it's like my heart is like splintering for the softness of this soft, sweet boy who has this like super hard exterior and is gruff and has been through so much pain and like has a lot going on, but he's really just gooey in the middle. Yeah, and he's trying so hard. Oh my god. Okay. Freaking scene. We have so much for the episode. Okay, I know. This is why I called it like an hour long reading. This is for sure. I called it a bonus episode, not a mini episode, because I need mini. This one's full, like this is a maxi pad with wings. And we I can't we can't even talk about it. Okay, okay, so they're on the couch. Oh, so wait, no, no, no. They go sit down on the couch, and Shane sits as far away from Ilya as you could possibly sit, and their arms are crossed, and it's giving guarded again. You offer me to tune them out, whatever. Okay, now I'm scared. I'm pulling back in, I'm scared, and I'm shutting down. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You brought the ginger ale, like, what is this? Yeah. But then Ilya is like, okay, I know what will make him feel more comfortable. Hockey. Hockey. So he turns on the hockey.

Emily: 29:40

Yes.

Abigail: 29:41

Then they have a conversation about Ryan Price, who Yes, I wrote that down. Ryan Price mentioned, yes. He was a character in one of the other books, Tough Guy. And I think it could be a way of setting up a side plot in season two. Now that we have season two confirmed, which we didn't even talk about. But yes, we'll we'll get to that. Yeah. Um, Ryan Price mentioned. Also, this was just such a funny conversation. It's so like, like, Buffalo is terrible. They are a terrible team, so that was funny. Um, also, Winnipeg mentioned wearing my shots shirt. You guys can't see it. But it was just like a fun conversation. They're like, so it was funny. Like, it's like, where do you like to play hockey the most? So, yeah, so Shane is like, where do you like to play the most? And he was like, New York. He's naming like New York, LA, Florida, whatever. Yeah. And then he's asks Shane, and Shane is like, Ottawa, it's my hometown. Yeah. Winnipeg, Toronto. I'm glad Winnipeg has a team again. And Ilya looks at him. He's like boring. And he's like smiling, he's like, What are those boring teams? And he was like, Yes, they're very boring. But he's looking at him like so in love, like so lover boy. Like he's just like, I knew you were gonna say that because I love you so much. But yeah, you are just so practical. Um, there's also a point where I'm sweating right now. No, I get it. When um Ilya says, like, Buffalo's terrible, and he's like, Yeah, and the team sucks too. And then uh and he says, and people say you're not funny, and Shane's like, they do who feels that? And then he goes, Me. That was just so funny. It's like okay, okay. So then Ilya does this thing where I have to say, I always normally do tend to relate to Shane more, but this I like I couldn't possibly understand Ilya more as a person in this moment than when he tries to say something and it he's trying so hard to be vulnerable, but he says it in the most convoluted way possible so that actually no one understands what he's trying to say. This this is I'm so glad you brought this up. Because I think a a less media literate person would have seen this and thought that Ilya doesn't start opening up until after the conversation with his dad. Yeah, he starts opening up right now. So he is he starts talking about stuff. He's trying, yes. And he says, LA is hot, they have hot women, and then he says, I have this girl, Svetlana, I see her, you know, from time to time. She's cool, like he she likes hockey, she's a big fan of you. And then Shane says, Oh, she sounds perfect for you. And he says, It is close to that. What the follow with this guy? And he's like, Yeah, but for for both of us, it's not serious. And it's yeah, what he's doing is he's trying so hard, yeah, to say. He's he's fishing. I know, hey, hey, Shane, look, I know you've probably seen I like like with a lot of women. Yeah, but I don't actually have anything going on right now. There's nothing serious, there's nothing. Do you do you? Like now this is your turn to now reciprocate. I'm telling you, I sleep around, but nothing serious. I like girls. Do you like girls? Wait, so the timer for the tunement goes off. He comes back, they start eating the tuna mounts, and they're now closer together on the couch. Yes. And Ilya says, Do you like it? Or you do you like them? Yes, do you like them? Yes. And then he's like, Yeah, he's like talking about the tuna. He's like, Yeah, oh no, girls, do you like girls? Yeah, and Shane's like, yeah, yeah. Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah. Totally. Like, yeah, you're really convincing all of us, all of us here in the audience. And then he says, Ilya's like, Well, I never see anything about you with women. And then he was like, Well, I'm private about a lot of things, obviously. And he like just them. Yeah, yeah. And he said, then Ilya says, I like girls, but I also like you. Yes. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We're missing a very important line. I'm sorry, I didn't write it down. Okay. Okay, what did I miss? When he says, This is before the tuna melee actually they actually Okay, okay, okay. He says Oh. So Shane says something like, Well, I'm sure you'll find the right person. And then Shane goes, or Ilya goes, uh, you know me, I'm lazy. Yes, you're right. I did miss this. And then Shane says, I don't know anything about that side of you. I don't know that side of you at all. And this is perfectly picks up on episode one, where we see Ilya's dad talking to the owner of the Bears of Boston about him. Yes. And he's like, he's kind of lazy.

Emily: 34:20

Yes.

Abigail: 34:20

And it's like the messaging in his head is that he's lazy. And and Shane doesn't even discredit that's what he's saying. Yes. He doesn't discredit that, he just says, I don't know that. I've never seen that side of you. I've never seen that side of you. I don't, and then and the look that Ilya gives him back. Yes. My exact note was can you boys shut the f up? Because yeah, it's like this is another thing. Ilya's like again being vulnerable, and Shane is not picking up on it. And he's like, Yeah, I'm lazy, whatever. Like, but this is like actually a hurtful thing that his dad has said about it. It's actually like a subliminal message. Yes. And then Shane's like, Oh, I don't know. Yeah, not you. And he's like, Oh, sh, like, you see me. You see me. You see that I'm not lazy. And you're not just saying that because you think that you know that this is an insecurity of mine. You're just saying, like, I'm I'm we genuinely don't see that about it. I'm correcting an untruth, I've heard. Yeah. So then they eat the tuna melts, they have a conversation, and he's like, I like girls, but I also like kill you. And Shane says, Lucky me. So then Ilya pulls back again. He's like, Oh, not as a person. Like, I just think you have a nice mouth. Like, you're you're just like good to hang hook up with. So it's like constantly, it's like, okay, okay, okay, I'm showing a little bit of myself. Too far, too far, too far. Yeah. They're both doing this dance. Yes, yes. The writing insane. Okay. It's insane. And then Ilyas phones. He answers in Russian. He's talking to his dad. Papa. Papa. His dad who's experiencing declining health, Alzheimer's. And he is talking to him, it's distressing, he ends up calling his brother and he's like, Why aren't you with dad? Yeah. And then after he hangs up with his brother, he like touches his necklace. Yes. And like shakes his body out. And the music here, too. Like the music cue. It's like this intense music, and he's like touching his necklace, he's calming down, and then he turns the corner back into the room with Shane, and the music cuts out instantly, and you hear the hockey in the background. The music in the show is insane. That's my that's my note. But this moment in particular, especially the second time I watched it, I was like, he's like got all this stuff going on in his mind, and then he turns and like he's going back with Shane, and it's almost like it it just like falls away again. And yes. And then he goes and they're sitting together very close again. Yeah. And he whatever, and then Shane says something like, Oh, like, how is your father? Yeah. And sh the way that Ilya looks at him, and he goes, He's like, Oh, you speak Russian now. Oh, you speak Russian though. And he was like, Well, no, I know the Russian word for father, and I was like, I bet you do, you bottom. Yeah. Papa. Yeah. So now it's then Ilya.

Emily: 37:22

Yeah.

Abigail: 37:23

Okay, he's coming up. He's now he's opening back up again. He's feeling vulnerable again. And he pulls Shane to him and then snuggle. That's the only word you could use. Yeah. But then here they are back in the same dance. Because now, like Shane is leaning against him, his eyes are closed. Uh Ilya is like scratching his head like a golden retriever. Like it is so intimate and close. Yeah. And it's like Shane can't handle his the the idea that they're like having intimacy outside of sex. For no reason. Yeah. Is so he's like, okay, we have to have sex. Yeah. So then he like obviously that's what like that's this is. He's like pan, it's like a way of coping. Like they feel any emotion and it's sex because it's like the only language they have for each other. Yeah. So then he pivots, they start hooking up, and this is a very intimate and close because as much as they try, you cannot extract the intimacy and closeness from what they've just experienced with the sex that they're having. Yeah. And so they start hooking up, and Ilya calls him Shane for the first time. He goes, Oh god, Shane. And then Shane says it back. He's like, he goes, Ilya. Ilya. But like there's a pause and he goes, Ilya. Yeah. And then he instantly. And then as soon as it's over, Ilya's trying to kiss him, and Shane's like turning his head away instantly. Instantly. And then he just freaks out. It's sick. And it's like, I get you. I get you. I understand. Because yeah, like God, it's just, it's just so much. So Shane, Shane gets up and he's like, I I can't do this. Like, I can't do this. I got I have to go. I there's a team meeting, and Ilya's like, you forgot about a team meeting, right? And there's no way. Yeah. Almost in an apology. He goes, Hollander. Yeah. And he's like he's he's like shaking his head. He's pulling it back again because he just called him Shane and now he's like, It's okay. I'll still call you Hollander. And he's looking at it. He's pleading in his eyes, and he's like, It's I Hollander. It's okay. Like, come back. And then he's like, And then they both know what's going on. But they're not talking about it. Talking about it. And Shane is like, I got thank you for the tuna mount. Um, I have to go. And then he Again, a worse written show or a worse acted show has to say, has to have Shane say, like, this is just getting too serious, and I don't like how I'm feeling. And storming out. And it's like, all you need is actually Ilya saying Hollander. And we understand that. You know what I mean? Like, because their acting is so good and the writing is so good. So Hollander.

Emily: 40:11

Yes.

Abigail: 40:12

And it's like he could have delivered it and just been like, Hollander, Hollander. But he the way like the sadness in his eyes. And it's like regret. He's like, this is what I get. Why did I do that? This is what I fing get. For showing for showing the gentle part of myself.

Emily: 40:29

Yeah.

Abigail: 40:30

This is what I get. I I let myself be vulnerable. I showed my neck. And now guess what? I'm alone and embarrassed. And he's gone. Yeah. And to Ilya, again, I understand you. This was the equivalent of a love confession. Although he did not say anything remotely like if you're just reading the transcript, yeah. It is. That's what I'm saying. I understand him. Because it's like if you read the transcript, you would you identify with being like, is your ginger eel cold enough? equals Exactly. I love you. I love you, and I've wanna be with you the rest of my life. Exactly. Because sometimes it's just so hard to say those words. But to him, like that's what it was. And then to have him be rejected, even though it took Shane pretty much until this point to realize that's what was going on. Um it's just uh so devastating. So okay. So then we cut to a god, we're 42 minutes ago. That was a lot. Okay. No. Because I knew it was coming. It's like tuna melts. And I'm probably gonna eat these words, but I actually think that was the most difficult scene of the entire series to watch. I actually agree. I don't think it's gonna get it's only up from here. I do think when spoiler ahead, when Shane gets hurt in the game, that might be tough. Yeah, but they're but Ilya, everyone can see us. But it's not like the I know, I know. They're both opening up. I think that this is like the most emotionally painful to watch. Or when Ilya's dad dies and he confesses his love, that might be Yeah, except that's the one. I don't know, but this one is emotionally difficult. You're right, you're right, you're right. This was from the city. Everything from here on out, they're both mutually opening up. You're right. Okay, you've you've convinced me. So I think that this my prediction is that that that was the worst. That was the bottom of the club. You've reached up forever. Yeah, yeah. I thought that would be worse, but this was worse. This it was worse because I the first two episodes we saw more Shane yearning, and we saw Shane POV. And I don't think any of us were ready to see Ilya yearning POV. No, I wasn't. And to see him be like soft and breakable. Okay, okay, wow. Regroup. Cut to Shane's with his parents. This scene, this actually was the saddest scene to me, actually. I'm not gonna lie. This made me so sad. Before we get into the sad stuff, okay. Shane is wearing a blazer on top of a hoodie. I want you to go and look at um NHL arrival outfits now that they've gotten rid of the dress code and that it's like the uniform. I'm not even kidding. And so many blazer hoodies. I'm like, what are we? You're gonna see blazer hoodies. That's what I'm telling you. These guys, they don't know how to dress. I'm like, you guys, yeah. Good god. I'm seeing a puffer. No, I'm seeing a puffer vest with a blazer on top. Yeah, yeah. It's not good. Anyways, uh, insane outfit. Insane choice. He's at lunch with his parents. And the waiter says, Are we expecting someone else? And they're like, No, and so he picks up the fourth like table setting. It's just again, the writing, like, just that little detail is so such a nut punch after what you just watched. Yeah, he asks Shane what he wants to drink because I'll have ginger ale. And then he's like, I don't have a ginger ale. No, we don't have that. Again, I'm back to relating to Shane because ginger ale is literally fire and my trick of choice. I love ginger ale. A little, you know, this about me. I'll die on the ginger ale tequila and lime hill. Yeah, that's a good one. Or ginger ale whiskey. Yeah, or just ginger ale, yeah. Mocktail it. Anyways, um, then they're having this whole conversation about going to Wimbledon, and it's like you see him start to feel okay. He if this reminded me, but this is a conversation we've had. It happens where you're keep if you're like keeping apart yourself from people that you love, there's a point where it starts to be harder than it is would be to just be honest. Yeah, and you see this is what's happening for Shane because he's starting to be like every little thing that they're saying is like grading on him, and he feels like his mom says, uh, like, we don't want to lie, that's not who you are, but it is like who he is. Like he's just lying about this fundamental part of himself, and and it was just so suffocating to watch this. Like the thing I picked up even more from that, that's interesting that that's what we picked up. The thing I picked up was he's like, I don't his mom's trying to get him to go to sing so he sits next to the Swedish princess, and it's kind of like a little bit digging. Like, can you like don't you want to sit by this pretty woman or whatever? Beautiful princess, yeah. And he's kind of just like, I don't want to spend my time with someone I don't know. But the subtext there is, I want to spend my time at the cottage with Ilya, but that's impossible. So he's like, I don't think anything. Something I want, I can't have, yeah. So then that's even worse. Like you're just rubbing it in my face. You don't even know, but you're rubbing it in my face that there's this thing that I want more than anything that I can't have. Um yeah, so that that whole scene was just rough for me. I don't know. It was like I just felt for him of like, and they the implication too is like Rolex wants him to go to Wimbledon because they're like, we need some diversity in the in the like our box, you know, because you're Asian, and like it's just a lot, and yeah, and it's also the implication of like again reminding us he has this huge deal with Rolex, they obviously pay him a lot of money, and like maybe they wouldn't want to do that if he was out, or like, yeah, so it's just a lot, yeah. Anyways, then we come to a scene of Shane in his apartment. He gets a call from JJ. I know I'm frowning already because I hate this. I'm so upset. I'm so upset, and it's not Rose's fault. No, no, she's awesome. I actually love her, yeah. But JJ's like, hey, come on to this bar, Dima. I can't do I can't I can't do a French accent. I can't do a French accent. Um and so he's like, fine, I'll go. He goes out, goes to order a fing ginger ale again at the bar. The guy's like, he's like, Do you have ginger ale? And he's like, Yeah, we do, but and then he goes, uh, I'll have a beer. Yeah, because he's like, Okay, I can't again, another environment where I can't be myself. I'm not being true. The ginger ale is equals truth. Like when when he's drinking ginger ale, he's being his authentic self. When he can't drink it, it's in times when he's not being his authentic self and he's feeling stress. Yes, yes, at this bar, he can't get a ginger ale like he's getting bullied for it. So he just gets a beer. Yeah, and also this bartender better than me because I would have taken the money. He's like, it's on the house. He's like, also, is the bartender flirting with him? Yeah, okay. Yeah, so he's like, no, however, you Shane Hollander. I think we saw precedent in the last episode that you can be flirting with someone and take an extremely large tip from them. Yeah, exactly. A la kip be a kip in this world. Be a kip. If a if an incredibly wealthy, multimillionaire hockey player wants to tip you like probably what 20 bucks cash, I think you should take the tip as a service worker. His sugar baby, do it. He'll do it, he'll do it, yeah. Do it okay. All right, so anyways, he meets Rose Landry, yeah. AKA Shauna from Yellow Jackets. Did you watch Yellow Jackets? No, I haven't seen Yellow Jackets. Okay, the funny thing about Yellow Jackets is it's also a game mess. And I'm like, Shauna stays on the edge of a game at all times. Yeah, good for her. Here she is again. Yeah. So um they Shane dis I wrote, here's my note. Shane discovers friendship with a woman and goes full send. He sees an opening with a woman he has some chemistry with on a friend level and just dot dot dot is like okay. Okay, yeah. But I think too, like, I mean, again, this this might be more like me reading into the books or like remembering, but I think it's like he at this point he doesn't really necessarily want to admit that he's fully gay. Like also, Ilya, his like you know, his uh guide, his spirit guide through being queer, is bisexual and like does have happy relationships with women, and like this is the men equally, and so maybe in his mind he's like, Oh, well, I could do that too, and then I could just also be out with women, like he is, you know. He meets someone who genuinely does put him at ease because yeah, she is from Michigan, she has three p brothers who play hockey, they have a lot in common. She's a big fan, yeah. He's a lot of people talk to, very easy to talk to, very disarming, and so yeah, what he experienced was chemistry. Yeah, but not all chemistry is sexual chemistry, unfortunately. Unfortunately, sorry, Shane. So they start dating. Yeah. And then we hit another gunning scene, which is the Boston. What is the name of the team in this show? I know, I keep wanting to say, yeah, uh Raiders or something, something like that. The Boston team is like all like working out, they're like in the gym, and a couple of Ilya's teammates call him over and they're like, dude, you're not gonna believe this. And they show on their phone some article that's about Shane and Rose, and he looks at it and he goes, No. And it's like his teammates are meant to think that he's being like, No way, but he can like he's doing this. I wanted to shout out to the teammate on the bike who shows him that is Harrison Brown, who is the first out transgender professional hockey player ever. And he comes back later in the episode. But I just found that out, so isn't that cool? I love that. It's awesome. Yeah, um, but yeah, uh, that scene is horrible. Like, like I just uh that sick feeling um that continues basically for Ilya for the rest of this episode of like seeing the person that you love with someone else um is like the most disgusting feeling in the world, and he's just assaulted with it. He's at practice, like in the gym with his teammates, and like out of nowhere, completely unexpectedly, he's he's like confronted with this. It's pretty sick. So I hate that. It's like I think in the show, like they were showing like a talk show. I think they were trying to can like compare it to like the hype around like Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. I don't think in reality it could be, I think it's more of like a Hayley Steinfeld Josh Allen kind of thing, yeah, yeah. Like level of intrigue and like artist and because she's out in public way more than like a super super famous yeah Taylor Swift level would be, and like the NHL, like that's not on the same level as NFL, unfortunately. Yeah. So um at least in this cutting. And we're seeing like a montage of like a brief montage of them doing stuff, and then like you know, out in public, whatever, and then Shane is like stretching and like warming up on the ice before a game, and yeah, Rose is up in the box and she's wearing his jersey. And again, it's not her fault. I too have fallen for many a gay man. More than one. Who among us? You know what I mean? So it's not, I'm not gonna victim. No, it's definitely not her fault. It's not her fault at all. No, it's not. She's like hasn't done anything wrong. Um so yeah, it's it's Shane's fault, actually. It is, yeah. It's just But I get it, I get where he's coming from too. He's like, he doesn't want to have to give up his life, and he feels like that's his only option. And he's getting so much positive reinforcement from this. Yes, yes, like everyone's happy for him. It's what everyone's wanted for him this whole time. Uh yeah. So that night that that Rose is at the game, they're playing Boston. Boston is in Montreal. No, this is a different night. She can't come to the game. Oh, that's right, that's right. He's texting her, and she's like, sorry, you can't make it. Oh, right. Okay, and by the way, so then so yeah, so they had the show that clipped her at a game, and then then game versus Montreal in Montreal. Yeah, Montreal versus Boston. He's in the locker room, he's texting her, he's like, Are you coming to the game tonight? Babe, yeah, which by the way. I was like itchy when he said that. I was like, oh god. She's like, Can't tonight. He's like, Oh, don't worry, babe. Yeah, you're such a freak. We know that you're a freak. We know, but with her, you are so vanilla. You're like vanilla, yeah. Babe. Okay, babe. We're in the game, and they're yearning for each other, and the game's terrible. And like basically the announcer's like, they both sucked at Plank, and uh yeah. Yeah, and it's like 1-0, Montreal wins, but they sucks. Yeah, yeah. So Shane goes out to a club because he wants to go meet Rose and her gay best friend. Oh, yeah, she's like, come, yeah. Who's like all over Shane? Yeah, he's like, like, if that was my best friend, I'd be like, hey, hey, chill, relax. Okay. I don't really care that you'd maybe think he's straight and this is fun. Like, that's still weird. Yeah. Why are you so aggressively flirting with them? Yeah, chill. So uh chill. Lillia, he's in he's in his hotel room, he's looking in the mirror and he's just he's boiling. He's just like, This is because right now I should be at Shane's place. That's what we happen to right now. I should be at Shane's place. This sucks. And then he goes, this sh. I need and then he goes out to his roommates again. I'm gonna get over this. Yeah. He goes, I need to go get laid. We're going out to a club. Yeah. So they rally the boys, they go to the club. This is the most insane sequence. Okay. So Rose is like, Shane, dance with me. And this part I start to blame her a little bit. I also think I never get to dance. I want to like say something, women. Say it. If you're dancing with your man, alcohol is being had. Oh, by the way, he's like, I need a beer. So he actually said in this situation, I need a beer. In order to dance with you, I do not even want a ginger ale. Fuck a ginger ale. So they're at the thing, and she's like putting his her hands up his shirt and stuff, and he's literally hey, by the way, if you're the man who likes you in a sexual way, he won't just be doing that if you put your hands up his shirt at a dark club where there's alcohol involved. Like maybe read the room. Right. A little bit. Yeah. So then we get oh the spin. And the music is crazy. You heard me, Hollander. Okay, okay. So all the things you said, all the things she said, run it through my head, run it through my head, run it through my head, run it through my head. So we started that song. Great song choice. They spent a lot of money on her package. Yeah. And I respect it. Ilya comes in, he goes to the bar and he sees Rose's gay best friend. Yeah. And he's so deep in the Shane lore. In the Shane cinematic universe. He's like, oh shh. But he sees his new girlfriend's best friend and starts looking. His head is on a swivel. And he's looking around the club for Shane. Yes. That's how deep he is. That's how down astronomical he is for this man. Correct. In the Shane cinematic universe. He knows everyone he's ever met.

Emily: 56:15

Yes.

Abigail: 56:16

His Instagram stock this guy for sure. Of course. Yes. Also, I wanted to lock rewind a little bit when the lyric, the first time it says this is not enough, it instantly cuts to Rose. The editing of the scene was crazy. Okay, so yeah. Um, by the way, Julia is wearing an insane outfit. Yes, love him. Stop here. He's wearing like a tight v-neck t-shirt with cheetahs all over it. Like cheetahs with like open mouths. It's crazy. I love him. Um it's like Dwight in that episode of The Officer, he's like wolves howling, like insinuates sex. Yes. And basically, from this point, we have like seven minutes where there's no dialogue. Like it was really seven minutes. It's like a long sequence. He says the only thing that happens from this point out is Shane says, I need to go to the bathroom. And but everything else is like happening, and there's no talking. It's just fully the song and the eye contact and the lighting and everything. So Shane, okay, so we see Ilias see Rose's friend. I forget what his name is. It's not important. Miles. Miles. He sees Miles, he starts looking for Shane. He sees Shane and is like, Yes, something has to be done. I have to make him jealous. So he finds a girl to make out with and like suck her ear, which is so gross. Yeah. Again, Connor's story. Gross, okay? Yeah. But the acting was insane. Connor's story. She's like full sending out. I actually live in constant fear of seeing him in public. I can't like they have been filmed within a few miles of my home multiple times. Yeah. What would you do? I would black out. Um I don't think I would be able to be chill or cool at all. Like what I would love to do is just relax, you know, and like not freak out. No, I would black out. I think I would start start seeing black spots. Yeah, okay. Okay. Let's hope you don't see them, maybe. It's like I want to, but I don't, you know. Anyways. Yeah, I hope. Then Shane dancing with Rose, and he's like, I literally hate this so much, but I'm doing it. Yeah. He sees Ilya's teammate across the bar. And then his head is on a swivel. And then he sees Ilya. And he's like making out with a girl's ear. Making out with his girl's ear. Okay. Yeah. Specifically her ear. And he's like, I have to go to the bathroom. Yeah. Okay. Again, ladies. Again. Read the room. She was showing tits. She was showing ass. She was showing legs. She was pulling out all the socks. She was literally rubbing her hands on his abs. Yeah. You're gay. Okay. You're gay. You're gay. Okay, yeah. Alright. So then he's like, I just go to the bathroom. Doesn't go to the bathroom. Proceeds to stand in the middle of the dance floor with his goopy little beer in his hand and look at Ilya and make direct eye contact with him. Direct eye contact with him. In a way that is so painful. It is so insane. Yes. And then we cut to interspliced scenes where Shane. And the music changes again. And then we'll tell you. Go ahead. You go ahead. Oh, sh uh, so Shane is back at Rose's place or his place, I guess. I don't know. And um, she's like fully taking off all her clothes. He looks horrible. And he looks like he's seeing a ghost. Sick. He does. And she's like got yeah, like she's dropping her beautiful dress, and you get a full backside shot, and he's like, Look, like, couldn't imagine a worse. Place to be. Someone who's attracted to a woman would not again. He's like hesitating too. He's like standing there and she's up the stairs and he's like frozen midway. It's just yeah. And then we see them doing missionary. Yeah. And literally, he's like thrusting to this is not enough. And it's like, yeah, this is literally not enough. And it looks horrible. And it's cut again. So you get the club scene, and then you get Ilya alone in his shower. Like jerking off. By the way. And he's so like he's so like upset. You know, he's like sad. He's like not even just thinking about Shane, but he's like yearning for Shane. And it's like and it's again He's like, I'm ashamed of myself for jerking off like this. But like I can't, I couldn't have sex with anyone else tonight because Yeah, I'm just thinking of Shane. I'm thinking of Shane. I couldn't even go home with the ear make out girl. Yeah. And Shane is there implied, like not looking at Rose, like looking off at the camera, and implication, I would assume, thinking of Yulia as well. And the last second of the show, it like does a quick flash between our faces. It's like, yes, that was insane. Nuts and nuts. Flash, flash, flash, flash, boom, boom, dark. Oh my god. Okay, yeah. Were you ready for the episode to end right there? I didn't, I was surprised that it was ending, to be honest. Um, I think I felt the just the pacing of that montage. I I didn't feel like anything else was gonna come. Because that club again, that I mean, it is like a solid seven minutes of the club scene, like at least. It's it's a big chunk. I just had it in my head. That we were gonna get Rose breaking up with Shane. Sure. Okay, this brings up a good point because I am curious where you think the season is going to end, because I'm starting to have doubts that it's going to end. Some I've seen speculation from some people who believe that the the actual ending of the episode will be um of episode six, will be Ilya calling Shane and saying, I'll come to the cottage and an ending there. No, no, there's a lot that has to happen. No, no, no, no. Because we still have Scott and Kip. Sorry, I'm hitting my mic, but Scott and Kip have to get back together somehow. And then you have his dad dying. Do we have to see that? I feel like we do. We had a whole episode of that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We have to see that. Because otherwise, if you go straight to the NHL, the Stanley Cup kiss, whatever, whatever the stupid cup is called in this fake world, the MLH cup. Yeah. If you go straight to that, it's like, well, wait, what happened? Because this is years later at this point. No, no, no. We have to We're now two years past that. We have to have Rose and Shane breaking up. Yes. We have to have him realizing he's gay, right? And then we have All-Star Game. Yes. We have injury. Which is next episode. Yes. We have um Ilya's dad dying. Ilya's dad dying, phone conversation. Russian confession. Some side plot has to happen about Scott and Kip. We need at least like five. The last episode will be like an hour and a half. Maybe. Like, here's the thing. They could have recut some stuff after they knew they were getting a season two. Sure. But there's no way if they thought that maybe we're only getting a season one that they would have ended it without the cottage. But here's my question then, okay. Because I actually wonder if that is a better ending. Because if you don't have the long game, like, and you just end with them like sneaky still at the cottage, obviously you have because then we would still have to have the cottage coming out to Shane's parents. Um, then you have like well, no, you have the kiss before the cottage. I'm just like trying to figure this out. So then we have Scott and Kip kissing on screen. Because I thought the next episode would end with them being with Ilya calling and being like, I'm coming to the cottage. Yeah, I thought that too. I thought that too. But there's a lot that has to happen. I mean, they can make it work. The pacing has been pretty fast. Or they could just make longer episodes. Like sometimes in a limited series like this, let's straight to streaming. Yeah, the last two are longer. Um I just I'm curious. I do almost think that if you don't have the because I'm I'm wondering how to do that. Thank God we know we are having season two. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But I'm just thinking, like, where do you end it otherwise so that it does feel like a satisfying ending? I'm just wondering, yeah, how do you end it? I'm wondering how it'll end. Maybe it ends with Shane's parents finding out. I know, but that's a terrible way to end it. But you're right, I do feel like we need the payoff of them finding out. So we have to have the cottage stuff. But I do wonder if they they could have recognized, I guess. Um I don't know. That's just a lot that has to happen still, like you said. I don't I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, so I was just curious. I've been thinking a lot about how it's gonna end. Um wait, we have to tell the list of it. Or I have what me and you are gonna be together for the finale. That was the best exciting news I've ever heard about. We've been planning this for a long time that I was gonna stay with you the day after Christmas for like just a few, you know, that night. Layover, basically. Yeah. And the day after Christmas is the day that the finale comes out. God is real. So happy, so happy. I'm so happy. So I couldn't be happier. I know, I know. It's gonna be a good thing. Maybe we should like record some exclusive content, basically, aka us watching it live. Sure, why not? But then share some immediate thoughts. Yeah, we should. Okay, let's plan at that. Um, I have seen some speculation as well that it might uh they might change, which I think might actually work better. Like the impetus for Ilya coming to the cottage, they could have changed that to be the injury, and then have them at the cottage together watching the kiss happen, and that being like sort of the hopeful ending of like, oh, maybe things could be changing. So I could see that, yeah. But I could see that but you know what? Now I'm at the I now I'm at ease because I know the season two is gonna follow. I mean, Connor said the season two is gonna follow the long game. I think we might also get a concurrent story with um Ryan. Yeah, um, maybe follow Scott and Kip a little bit more. We'll see. Yeah. Um God, Troy and Yeah. I forget role model what their names are. Yeah. So something like that. Um, but I'm like not stressing. I'm like, okay, yeah. But so far they've stayed really true to the story. Like they haven't made cuts that I'm like, I can't really let that out. You know, I think for many fans the tuna male scene was very, very, very important, and that was covered in detail. So um I think that they could abbreviate they might abbreviate the uh the the All-Star Game. Because the All-Star Game is more serving to like alert Ilya to the fact that he and Rose are no longer that Shane and Rose are no longer together and that they build up a little bit more intimacy. But that could he could find out a different way easily. Maybe I don't know. But I do we definitely do get the All-Star game because there's been like stills from that. Um the All Star game is where he gets hurt, right? Is it? I don't remember. Maybe I don't remember where he gets hurt. I all these things kind of blur together in my mind. Um it's just such a first of all, the book is insanely fast-paced, so I do understand the fast-pacing of the show. Like, like I said, this club scene, which is iconic to me and took up a big part of the episode, is like two pages in the book. Like it happens so fast. So yeah, I understand why they wanted to dig into it because what a fun scene to film. I mean, there's like oh yeah, it's and it's it's a perfect way to end the episode. Yeah, but I do think you know what I'm on board if they make the change that the they are watching. I think that could also work. Like you don't have as much time at the cottage, but you you know, he gets out to his parents, and then they have this moment, and maybe they're all together watching the the playoffs and yeah, but you know what? I need to see, I need to see him be like, well, ca because I don't know if we're gonna get this now. Because at the cottage in the book, he has a conversation where he's talking about Svitlana, and he's like, I could marry Svetlana, like all this stuff if you get citizenship. He's like, but there's this problem, and the problem is 5'10. No, we need to see that with ankles. Really need to see that. Correct. No, I need to see all of this. I'm just interested. But they have not led me astray, is what I think we're both on the same page. They have done a great job with this adaptation. I'm not sure. The writing has been great. Yeah, I believe. One other thing that didn't fit into the episode that I'd like to highlight, and this is a really smart take from my friend Emma. Um shout out Emma. Who not our mutual friend Emma, but a different Emma. But she would think Emma, our Emma is watching the show. No, she's not. There's no way. She'll watch it in like 2.5 years. 2.5 business years, maybe. Anyway, yeah. Um, she we were talking about media literacy and how people aren't getting the show. Like some people online are not getting the show, or they think that oh, it's just yeah, it's just like sex or like there's no plot or whatever. Yeah. And she was she was connecting the lack of media literacy about the way to to build on what we were saying earlier about like the sex advancing the plot, that like the rising culture of Puritanism is making people be like, oh, gay sex. Like, yeah, no, instead of like viewing it with a critical eye and being like, what's actually happening between these two individuals beyond the fact that they're just having sex, but it's just like, oh, you're just so taken aback that sex is happening that like you're not considering the character development or like the dynamics of what's happening or the performances of the actors, and that's what separates like a TV show from like porn, like it's advancing the plot. So uh I thought that was really interesting, and just like the the pearl-clutching nature of like, oh, if you really cling and you like dig into that, then you miss out on like a really great story like this. That's my thought. Yeah, and I think like like uh something that I've been thinking about with this show is like this is such a good adaptation because it's made by people who are taking romance as a genre seriously. Oh, they're taking it. And so often people don't, and it's like the the romance is the plot. You don't have to have some like other thing going on to make it compelling. Like a story about two people falling in love and figuring themselves out and like finding a way to be together against like odds that are difficult, even if it's a little like fantastical, or even if it's like something that couldn't happen in real life, or whatever you think, like that is the point, and um, it shows in the quality of this adaptation that it's by people who value romance as a genre and take it seriously, and uh that so often does not happen with adaptations. Rachel Reid, James Tierney, Connor Story, Hudson, they're all like that. Like they're all yeah, they're all taking their value really seriously. Yeah, and I would like to say this is also why Jonathan Bailey is great as a yearner in correct his roles, is he he takes it really seriously. Yes, he takes his role of Anthony Bridgerton seriously. Also, uh, we talked about this with Twilight. Whatever, it's goofy, but it's like uh there's another one. Ernest Stewart and Robert Pattinson, they actually fing locked in. Like they were like, no, they played it seriously, they played it seriously, and that's why people love it, and people are drawn to it because it's like, yeah, so many times romance books get at whatever, I can't talk, adapted, and it's like, well, we have to change it because like this isn't interesting on its own. And I just like this because it's a shot for shot and so many people. Because in romantic relationships, people have to be extremely vulnerable in in that vulnerability, they have to figure out their sh and like their issues, and so we're not we're watching a romantic story, we're also watching a story about two people overcoming their internalized family issues, their internalized homophobia, internalized toxic salinity, yeah, all of this stuff in the context of their romantic relationship, and that is like life is yeah, totally so period an hour and a half later, literally, yeah, yeah. We have to we can't call it a mini episode anymore, but this is longer than a normal episode, but it was so much fun, and I needed it, and I imagine more intense. No, I feel like a relief. I actually do feel relieved, I was feeling really stressed. Yeah, um, by the way, listeners, um, I made a playlist, it's called Wow Genetics. So good, and it is songs that I think fit the Ilya and Shane vibe. So we will post that on our uh post a link. Instagram story, yeah, to our Instagram story and on Blue Sky, another Instagram to follow us. So go follow us for that. It's a great playlist. I've been listening to it. I was cleaning all day today, and I was listening to it most of the day. Thank you. Um and it's dare I say it should be listened to in order. Um if um you guys have any thoughts about things we missed, we would love nothing more than talk about it more. So slide in our DMs. Let's let's chat, email us. We would love to hear about your thoughts and the things we missed. So no, agree, love it. Bye. Bye.