Heated Rivalry Episode 5 (Found You)

Here is our recap of episode 5. In exchange for editing this insane episode down to something consumable, please leave us a 5-star review, follow us on IG and Bluesky at @readirectpodcast, and tell a friend to tell a friend to listen. 

We love you, we love Hollanov, we'll see you next week!!!!

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Housekeeping
• 1:45 Episode Setup And Emotional Grounding
• 3:10 Rose And Shane’s Tender Breakup
• 8:50 Media Montage And Locker Room Beats
• 12:00 All‑Star Bar Flirtation
• 16:30 Poolside Showboating And On‑Ice Chemistry
• 22:00 Sunset Confession On The Beach
• 28:30 Boston Texting, Bedsheets, And Banter
• 34:00 Russia: Family, Grief, And Boundaries
• 41:20 The Call: Ilya’s Love In Russian
• 47:40 Faceoff, Injury, And Implications
• 51:30 Hospital Visit And “Come To My Cottage”
• 55:20 Scott’s Cup, The Kiss, And Shockwaves
• 58:30 Final Text: “I’m Coming To The Cottage”

Transcript

Abigail: 0:00

It's almost a resigned thing, like this oh like this inevitable we we have to talk in private.

SPEAKER_00: 0:05

Joe, we gotta have it out.

Abigail: 0:28

Welcome back to Man in the Crease. Welcome to the Red Wheels Come Hunt. Welcome to the Redirect Podcast. I'm Abigail Freshly. And I'm Emily Rojas. The Redirect Podcast is the show where we recap heated rivalry and ship the conversation back to books. We discuss themes from our favorite books and how those themes show up in our real lived experiences. But first, hey, if you like us, go on Apple Podcasts, go on Spotify, and leave us a five-star review and let us know how much you're enjoying our show. Um and you can follow us on social media at redirectpodcast and Emily at Emily Rajas Reads and me at Fabigula11. And of course, you can share our show with a friend. Um sharing our show with a friend is a great way to share our to grow our community of book loving nerds. Literally, like having heated rivalry and having community around this show is what is getting me through the end of this horrible year. Correct. Like I am recently unemployed and I've never felt like higher on life. I feel like I was on drugs last night. Dude, I was on my like, yeah. After I watched it, I was like I was on drugs. I am on, I feel like I'm on like speed. Like I my I was I'm so glad I didn't say end up staying up because I don't think I would have been able to fall asleep. Like I think it was the right choice to watch it this morning. Okay. Um we have not talked about at all, really. Except for just like, oh my gosh, I have like five pages of notes. I was gonna say, I wish you could see how many notes I have for this episode. And some of these last episode was an hour and a half. Also, this is gonna be two hours. It's like serial killer, like, because I was just like let's all take a deep breath. Okay, all right. We're gonna talk about the episode in a calm, collective. We're gonna be really calm. Really chill about everything. Okay, I'm ready.

unknown: 2:47

All right.

Abigail: 2:49

So it starts out. I'm literally crying. No, I actually think I'm gonna cry during the recording of this podcast because I think I will too. I fell for most of the episode last night, in the happy moments, in the tender moments, and the sad moments, I felt on the verge of tears for most of it. Me too. Okay. Alright. So okay, show opens. Shane wakes up, the alarm's going off. Shane wakes up, and you immediately know. Well, I immediately knew he was in Rose's bed. Or he was in bed before. The rose are off. Yeah. Because he looks again like he's seen a ghost.

unknown: 3:25

Yeah.

Abigail: 3:26

He's like, God, what are you doing here? As compared to in episode four, when he wakes up from her nap with Ilya and he's like correct. He's like trainy angel. Yeah. Um, yeah, so she's leaving. She's like, I have to go do some shots or whatever. And I thought this was an interesting contrast too with her leaving as opposed to Shane kind of being the one who's always leaving. Um, and because he feels like, oh, I'm like in a chill, this is fine. Even though he's not happy, he's like, I'm okay, because I'm I'm proving to the world that I am straight. Yes, and he also alludes in this conversation. He's like, hey, like, sorry about last night. I think I've been stressed about the season. And I said, Shane unable to perform. Question mark, question mark, question mark. I don't know that side of you at all. I don't know, I don't know that side of you at all. Because I've never known you to not come in 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_00: 4:19

Yes. So I don't okay.

Abigail: 4:22

Like, um let's put two and two together. I just want to say at the top of this episode, and I'll save it at the middle and at the end. I think that this is a show, obviously, about gay boys and about the most amazing women ever. I was reflecting on that as well because there's a again another worse version of the show where Rose and Svetlana are like pushed to the side or like truly poorly or not interesting, and Alana, yeah, all the women. Um and you know, like for them to be complex characters in impacting the plot and to be great people and to like not be a to be maybe like victims of circumstance, but not really victims, like to hold their own and to be empowered. It's yes, women. And you know what? Women having a lot of confidence too. Like Rose is kind of like, hey, I kind of know that I'm hot sh. So therefore, I need to have a compassionate conversation with you about why you can't get it up for me because respectfully, anyone attracted to women should be able to get it up for me. Yeah, like exactly you know, so it's just so in the most compassionate way. So then we um cut to the In the Crease podcast again. Welcome to Man of the Crease. And Scott is running like that again. Running, trigger warning, yeah. Trigger warning. Hey, that'll take you out of it. That was like a bucket of ice cold water. I was like, Do you think Francois, the actor, is like, hey, I guess I run weird. Like no one's ever told him before. And then he sees the discourse online. No, he's like, huh. Okay, I have to stop. You've got it right here, though. Okay, stop me. Connor and Francois were like two miles from my house last night. They're orbiting you, all of them. Like, I saw the picture and I was like, holy. I'm like, you're so close. I'm so scared. Yeah. Anyways, maybe you know, let's not have that. Okay, okay. So, anyways, and then they're talking about the all-star game, um, that Shane and Ilya might play on a line together, and who's gonna play center, and um they're talking about also how Scott's like on a red hot pace this season and is he gonna crash and burn? Um, so yeah, that's like the highlights from the podcast Scott mentioned. So we know he's coming back in this episode. Yeah, and like while they're talking about while the podcast audio is going, Shane is like doing the wrong machine, they're showing everybody. Yeah, he's locked in. So then we cut to Shane having dinner with Rose at a restaurant. This is where this is where I started openly. Like, I don't normally cry at TV shows, but this was like tears streaming down my face through this conversation. And it it was so not what I expected. Hudson? Like, okay, let's just talk about it because it was just too much for me over for some minutes. Like I was just crazy. Okay, let's talk about what happened and then let's talk about like how they did it and everything. So Okay. Okay, Rose is like she starts being like, Yeah, huh. Like, are there any gay hockey? Or she was like, Oh, Miles uh is so jealous, and he's like, Oh, jealous of you? He's like, jealous of me. And he was like, No, jealous of you. You knew Miles is gay, right? Yeah, which love her, obsessed with her. Yeah, she's like the least subtle person. Unfortunately, Shane is also the like most oblivious person, so we're we're it's like an unstoppable force meets an immovable object here. She's trying to, she's like, she's trying to feel him out, and then she goes, the most unsettle thing you could possibly do. So are there any like gay hockey players? Like gay out hockey players, yeah. By the way, for no reason.

unknown: 8:04

Yeah.

Abigail: 8:05

And he was like, uh Am I possibly eating dinner with one right now? Uh I don't uh there's probably gay players, but I don't like, yeah, I don't know anything. Nobody's out, yeah. And she's like, okay, I think I'm going about this the wrong way. He's like, What? And she's like, I don't think I'm like doing it for you. Yeah. And then he's like, I love spending time with you. I love talking to you. All true things, right? And she's like, But do you love kissing me? And what does he say? Sure. Okay, pause. My husband's listening to this. I would say one of the biggest ongoing fights in our relationship is that sure is not the same thing as yes. Sure is not the same thing as yes. Hey, it's like, sure. Uh, do you wanna go get ice cream? Uh sure. Sure. Full f you. Yeah, yeah.

unknown: 8:57

Okay.

Abigail: 8:58

Like, okay, sure isn't yes. Sure is not yes. Correct. Well, so yes. Anyway, so she goes, Oh wow. And hey, by the way, if someone, if your romantic partner is like, hey, do you like having romantic contact with me in any way? Never say sure. Sure is the worst possible thing. It's better to say it's worse than no. It's better than that. Sure is so horrible. And so he starts. I'm so emotional about it. She's starting to be seen. Right. And so like, and in the most compassionate way. And the scoring in this moment too is like this kind of hopeful, like gentle music. Where it's not like, oh my god, I'm being outed. Oh my god, I'm being confronted. It's like no bad, I'm being seen. Yes, yes. And she's not mad at me, and like she's not accusing me of anything. There's no judgment attached to this. It's just like, hey, I think this is a thing. And she goes, I think he starts like a square peg lamp situation. And then she goes, Oh, gross, sorry. And then he goes, I think, um, I think, I think, and he's like kind of at a loss for words. And then she's like, Have you ever been with a man before? And his eyes are filling with tears. And he has a flashback of him with Ilya. Okay. I had to bother. This was sick. This was actually sick and twisted, by the way. Jacob tyranny. If you see me walk faster, you see me walk faster. So he's just he just nods. He's like he just nods. He doesn't even speak. And his eyes are filling with tears, and like much like mine right now. And then she's like, and was it different? And then he has another flash of Ilya in in like one of the hotel rooms. And then he was like, Yeah, he kind of smiles, and he's like, Yeah, of course it's different. Uh-huh. And she's like, Is it better? And then another flash of Ilia. It's another. And I was actually, I loved this so much because even we're starting to plant the seeds now, and this is a running theme through this episode, which I want to talk about when we get to later scenes. But the flashbacks, none of them were of them having sex. They were of them being together. This is so important to me. And it's like it's like laying the groundwork because it's like this is someone that I like as a person. And this is where you start. Obviously, you got that in the tune them out last episode. But even this little choice to have these scenes be the flashbacks, which are not. I mean, the first one is like them with in the locker room, you know, whatever, like that was a little bit sexual, but it's not of like them hooking up, it's like moments when they're like kissing when they're together, yeah. It's just like, oh yeah, the spark between us. And innocent, yes, yes. One thing we talked about in the last episode, which is totally contrasted with this episode, which I think proves our point. Yes, is that there's been so much sex because sex is the language that they are able to speak with each other, they're not able to use words. But this episode was about using words and being honest, and so there was no sex scenes in this episode. They're able to-I really do want to talk about at length. They really like it was about each other, it's about being honest and being seen and like having new words for how you're a different way of being vulnerable together. Yeah, yes, totally. Um, also here at some point, Rose says it's this isn't a problem because a problem is something you can fix. He was like, I know the sex is a problem. Yes, I'm like, it's not a problem. No, it's not. It's just that you and me aren't like that. This isn't that. I love you so much as a person, and that is fine. That can be the extent of our relationship, is just like being best friends. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and so and she also like makes them feel super normal because she's like, This has happened to me a lot, actually. Um, I wasn't at theater school. Like many of my boyfriends are like, so fucking relatable. Look, hey, if you've ever sensed, if you've been wondering about your sexuality and I have had a crush on you in the past, use it as a data point. Take that as a sign. Yeah, maybe introspective a little bit. Yeah, just a little bit. Um, anecdotally, yeah. So then he's like, I don't know. It's again, Hudson's acting in this moment, in this whole scene, is just so lovely because you can tell it's like this is such an emotional thing. But also, as soon as it's out there, he's like more relaxed, and that stays through the whole episode. Like, he's less uptight and it's subtle, it's not like insane overacting, but he's just like more relaxed, like has this like sort of almost smile on his face, and it's like finally, this is the first time he's never obviously like in his mind, he's like probably knows Ilya, probably obviously knows this about me, but like they've never even had the conversation. Ilya is bisexual, so like always been holding out hope, kind of that maybe he was bisexual so that he could have this easier life, that he could have the option of like figuring it out and like marrying a woman and having a traditional family and just And never having to deal with it. Never having to truly deal with it. Yes, and then he finds this girl who's like the perfect girl, like she loves hockey and she's cool and he likes hanging out with her and she's beautiful, and even think she's pretty, like, but like in a way where you're like it's still not enough. Oh yeah, I think she's like like I think this lamp is pretty. Like I like you know, I know something was pretty. This so this, yeah, this is when I was just crying. And I thought it was it was just so beautiful. It's also so lovely that in a show like this, it easily could have made the woman the butt of the joke. Exactly, exactly, exactly. Oh, this stupid like woman like fell for this gay guy. How stupid is she that she didn't obviously he was seeing he was gay, or she could have made her the enemy of like you suck at sex, you are horrible, whatever. But you know, like they could have taken that tack, but they weren't like they chose they didn't. I guess they just didn't. And they didn't chose that there multiple many times in this episode. They choose to honor women in very important ways. Yes, and whether it's Shane's mom, it's uh Rose, it's Fedlana, it's Elena, it's um like they or Jackie even. I feel like all the women are just really thoughtful, important to all of these guys, and they have significant relationships with them, and it's just it's great. A lesser version of this show could have ignored them, made them caricatures, didn't film them out, but it's just really and we have so little time, so it's actually extremely impressive in a show where you do have to focus on these two this one relationship, the pacing in this episode to communicate so much, yes, but like to also be able to include women who are well-rounded characters, like that's impressive, and it's thoughtful and it's intentional, so correct. So then we cut to a scene where Ilya and Svedlana are like chilling out in bed together, watching like it it seems like they probably just hooked up, unclear, but they're watching cocky and talking about hockey in Russian. Yes, and Svedlana goes fishing again for information about Shane because she is clocking Ilya's team. She knows, yeah. She's clocking. So she's talking about how good he is and kind of kind of kind of ripping at him about oh, he's gonna be at the all-star game and maybe he should play center and you should play right wing. And then this cute moment where they're like wrestling and like being goofy with each other, which was so lovely and nice. Yes, it was nice to see Ilya be able to like have support in this way, and also it made me think like this comes up again for me later, but how he uses not even uses, but like he doesn't have anyone in his life to give him a hug. So he has sex with people in order to get this like physical affection, and so then this part after they're playing, she he like lays his head in her lap and she's kind of like touching his head, and it's like his face, you can tell he's like brooding about Shane and like feeling upset a little bit, and um it's just like yeah, he doesn't feel like he has anybody, and obviously she's a very close friend, but also they do sleep together like kind of off and on, and so I just thought this was interesting how he even tries to do this later with Shane, and Shane's it ends up being more of a comforting than a sexual presence in the moment. But um, I thought this is an interesting like part of his character, how yeah, like he doesn't have anybody to hug him, you know. What actually came to my mind in that moment was that he's always the one who's doing the holding, like he's never held, but he was in that moment held by Svetlana, and this is just the well, the name of the episode is I'll believe anything, which is also the name of the song that is plays at the end of the show. But um it's kind of showing this hope. He's like both of the characters, both of the main characters in throughout the episode are finally just starting to say, like, I'm gonna have to like believe in something. I'm gonna have to be willing to like trust myself a little bit and show a little bit. And even in the moment with Svetlana, it's like it's it's admitting, okay, I have this close friend that like I've had a sexual relationship with, but almost his relationship with Svetlana transitions from being just only about sex to being about like emotional intimacy with a friend throughout this episode. So it's like it's not just his, it's not just Ilya's personal revolution in his relationship with Shane, it's his revolution in life in general, being more open and letting people in. And readers of the long game will know that like he stays on that journey for a while and be like it's learns to like lean into his softness. But yes, but it's hard. It's hard. The more I watch this, the more I'm like, man, I in the books I always relate more to Shane, and I still like love Shane, but watching Connor Story's portrayal of Ilya makes me think like I do understand him. I understand him. So, anyways, okay. So that scene ends with Svetlana being like, I wonder how many outfits Rose Landry is gonna bring to the All-Star Game. She's always so well dressed. Cut to a bar, the All-Star game. Tampa, Florida. That's who's well dressed in there. 2017. He's so Ilya sitting at the bar. He's wearing like this goofy, like tropical Florida shirt. It's so silly. And then Shane, which is also okay, let's talk about the symbol here. The symbolism. Shane walks in, he's wearing this like a linen blazer. It's like the power is inverted, or the dynamic is inverted because it's always Shane looking kind of dumpy and goofy and Ilya being really confident and well dressed. But now Ilya is showing like his goofiness and being like silly and like less polished, and all of a sudden Shane's coming in. And this is the dynamic that has changed from the last episode with the tuna melt scene where Ilya's like, I'm taking care of us, whatever. Now Shane is like, I gotta go get my man's. Yes. This was my favorite. By the way, the all-star, like the everything in this episode was amazing. It's one of the best episodes of TV I've ever watched. Correct. But the all-star sequence was my favorite thing in the whole show. Everything about the all-star sequence was so important to me and so dear to me. And I could again discuss for hours. So he says, Um, he orders a corona as well. He says I'll have what he's having. And I'll have what my team members have. You can, yes, and you can tell Elia is like you, like in his mind. Like, I'm not gonna be nice to you. I'm not gonna like I'm still mad about it. He's so up, and he says, Are they all out of ginger ale, Captain? And Shane says, Well, I'm feeling wild. And he's like, Again, you can tell the way he's carrying himself. Like, he is more relaxed, he's more like he's not like glancing around, like, is anybody gonna watch us? Like, we're flirting right now. He's just there. He's meeting me the first time. Mm-hmm. And uh, so then yeah, he keeps he they kind of go back and forth, and Ilya says, Did you bring anyone with you? He starts fishing around, like a little bit like, Okay, well, I'll talk to you. I need to know if anyone's here with you. And Shane says, No, you know, my parents didn't want to come or whatever. And then he says, by the way, he opens up the eye contact here is a lot, like the eye contact, and then like the like you can tell they're looking down at each other's mouths, it's very low. And the the the shots are mostly like super tight throughout this whole episode, really. But this part too, like they're super close in, like very intimate, and then sometimes it'll be like a wide shot and it'll go back to being these close-ups. Um, and he then Shane says, like, I didn't feel like being managed this weekend. Okay, so he's like being a little vulnerable, and they're like flirty, and then finally, like, Ilya's like, Well, you look really pretty today.

SPEAKER_02: 22:13

He's like, But like kind of sarcastic, yeah.

Abigail: 22:16

But he's again, because now well, Ilya in episode four, he was vulnerable with Shane, he got rejected, so now he's back to the backhanded compliment. He's like, I'm not doing it. Yes, yes, you know what? And and that's like I get it. And he's correct for that. He's actually right for that. He he was brutally rejected. Um, and so then Shane says, Okay, if I tell you something you can't tell anybody or make fun of me. And Ilya's like, We'll see about that. I'm like, whatever. And then he says, I hired a stylist, and then Ilya's face. This is actually a Connor story like character break. I think he is like the smile was so it was so goofy. He just like slowly though, his eyes like light up, and then he like gives a slow smile, and then he starts laughing, and they're just giggling. I don't know, they were just this reminded me so much of like when you really like someone and everything's so funny. Everything they do is just like, oh and then he's like, and it's like he was like Jane was like, Well, there's other guys in the league who always dress so nice, and he's like, Not you, whatever, and they're kind of just being goofy. And then he's like, I didn't dress bad, I just he said, Oh, are you tired looking like shit? And he was like, I just dressed athletic. And then he he says, I know what you wore. Yeah. Hold on. Scream. Wait, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Yeah, he said, I know what you wore. Like he can't help himself. Like you could I this is what you see it happening, where he's like, I'm not gonna talk to him. Okay, I'm gonna be mean to him. Okay, I'm gonna be a little flirty with him. Okay, I'm gonna ask him where Rose is. You know what I mean? Like you get this like dissent where he's like, Okay, fine. And so then you know, Ilya's like, So this has nothing to do with with Rose Landry, and he gives him the considering meaningful look. Like, and then he says, Yeah, uh no, and he starts talking about Rose in the past tense. Oh, I would all go with her friends, and they're always so well dressed. Yeah, they're so well dressed. So you and Rose are not, and then he said, We're not. And then he said, Uh, Rose is great, I like her a lot, but we're not compatible. And Ilya's taking this in. We learn later he's not quite sure what compatible means, but he's processing this. He thinks he knows, yeah. And um in one thing I noted is they they do pull out a little bit at this at this point, and you see them both sitting at the bar, and Shane or Ilya is like drumming his fingers and like grip, trying like kind of like gripping the bar, like he's gripping the counter, and I'm like, oh, he's like holding himself back from like touching Shane. Yes, yes, it's so much amazing. Okay. So this was a lot, it was a lot. And then they're like, Yeah, then at some point the the other heart. JJ comes over. JJ pulls out Jesus like oh, cats and dogs, uh, wee, wee, wee. Yeah, and then he's like, uh, I think we're gonna get a lot of this weekend. You know, it'll be fun to play together, all this stuff. And then Ilya's like, yeah, who knows what we have in common? Maybe give it give us a chance to get to know each other. You never know which we can learn to get to know each other. Uh it's just oh, okay, okay, yeah. Um yes, okay. And then the pool scene with the kids. Okay, so first of all, Shane is laying out on like a lounger, and he's wearing his cool new clothes with his like sunglasses. Five-inch inseam shorts and his like open silk shirt, and he's like, Yes, you can kind of tell he's like, I know I look good. I'm going to be sitting, and I'm angled towards my man because I've got a I'm basically watching him, but no one can tell. About this whole scene, I was like middle school pool party. It was everything about it. It was just giving like the way Ilya was acting, Ilya is being super loud and like so loud, gregarious. Hey, look, I'm so good with kids, they're funny. I'm shaking my head. Yeah. So he's playing with these kids and he's like, Okay, we have race. And he's like, Hold in there, we have to make sure watch to make sure these cheaters don't cheat. And then Yeah, like, are you watching me? Yeah, are you watching me? Hey, can you see me over here? Uh okay, so then he like races with the kids, and then he's like, There's a shark in the water, whatever. Yes. And it was so cute. The whole thing was just like him be him showing off, him having fun, being goofy, also showing his tenderness. I would say, like, people like Ilya, not that I can relate, cough, cough, I can, but like not being open and fuzzy with people or like adults, but like being able to be yourself around kids. Yeah. Oh, these people, these little humans that won't judge me. Yeah, yeah. They're they're just gonna love that I'm having fun with them. This also made me sad because it made me think about his niece in Russia and how there is probably later, you know, we'll get to that, but there is probably a part of him that's like very sad that he can't have a relationship with her because of all the stuff with his family. So um that made me like bummed for him. Um but yeah, he's he's great with the kids. And then this is intercut with scenes of them like playing on a line together at the all-star game, and then they score and like they're making these great passes, and then Illy comes over and kisses his helmet, like on the on the side of the you know, whatever, like near his cheek. And he's like smiling. Wait, I'm actually we're missing something very, very, very important. Like, okay, I'm so sorry. No, like I know it's from like the beginning of the episode. I should have to go back and mention that we forgot. Okay, let's go. Like, after Rose leaves from like the meeting with like the morning when she wakes up with Shane, Shane is looking at his phone and he's like reading all of these comments about how great they are together and how he really looks like he's in love. And Ilya, they show him, he's reading the same comments. And I will say that this did activate the Gaylor sleeper cell in me. I thought the exact same thing of like, oh, but she's never been happier. When it's like actually, you have no idea. Exactly, you have no idea what's going on in someone's personal life. I think that was a very well-made point in a very simple scene. I thought the exact same thing of like, we don't know these people. Like, you see them and they look happy, that's like meaningless, and you don't really know. If that's true for anyone in life, like you really don't know what's going on in someone's house, and um, so like chill out. Yeah, let's not be so parasocial. Yeah, totally. Like, you think Shane and Ilya hate each other, they're in love. You think Shane's never been happier, he's gay. So but and then also like Shane looking at this and being like, Well, should I be happy? Like, I should be that happy, yeah, and Ilya being like, Well, maybe he really is that happy. And it's like he doesn't know either. Correct. So anyway, talk to your friends. We're in the all-star montage. Thank you for bringing up and do like a pass, shoot score, yes, yeah, the kiss, whatever. And then um Ilya um comes up, he like pushes himself. This is this was giving middle school pool party in a way that was so biblically accurate. Um, he like pushes himself out of the pool. Yeah. Which would have worked on me. That would have worked on me. Right. And he like walks over, and this is so fucking like seventh grade, he's like shakes his hair. Um Shane, yeah. And he's like, hold on, get these kids some money. I leave my wallet in my room or whatever. Yeah. And like Shane is kind of like goo goo eye at him like a little bit in this place. Yeah, he's like checking him out, and like Ilyan knows what he's doing, and they kind of have this like moment of eye contact. Yeah, like we're pretending this is something else, but we both know what it is. And again, like again with Shane, like he would not have done this in a previous episode. He would have been like, Stop, not here. Like, don't look at me like that. Like he would have said something weird and everyone would be like, What's wrong with this guy? You know, but now I'm gonna look at you. Yeah, like I'm gonna look at it. Hold on and hang on for so long. Yeah, you know, like and he's not gonna be like this episode that makes me so emotional. It's like me too. You can only hide your true self and play the game for so long before it takes a huge toll on you, and you hit rock bottom, which for you is for Shane in this moment, is like sleeping with a woman who he has no physical attraction to, and trying to force his life to be into the shape that it shouldn't be in, and he's just like, I have to choose my happiness at some point, and now he's like started on the choosing my happiness journey. Yes, and it's so nice. Um okay. So then we're at the beach. Shane is sitting on the beach. This was like a teeny bit different from the book because in the book it's already dark outside, which I get why you would want to do it at Sunset. It's prettier, it makes more sense. But yeah, in my mind, in my head canon, this is it's still nighttime on the beach. It's dark. Yes. And Ilya comes up and I actually can't talk about Oh my god, hold on. I'm insane. I'm insane. Okay. My body feels really, really freaked out right now. Okay. So he comes up and he sits next to Shane.

unknown: 31:43

Literally crying.

Abigail: 31:44

Okay. And he's like, oh, there you are. Or if we said found you. He said found you. That's what got me. Found you. Found you is so different than like, oh, I've been looking for you. Oh, there you are. It's like, oh, there you are, thank God. I see you. I understand, I know you. You're known by me. I found you. And he says, Oh, so you've been looking for me. He said, No. Of course not. Sit down. He says, I looked up that word by the way. Compatible. And he, what does he say? He says, so you and Rose were not compatible. He says no. And I looked at it, I looked this up. There is a direct translation to compatible in Russian. And in Russian, the like the most direct translation of compatible in Russian is like um mechanics. Like how they how it's like how two square package. How two items might actually fit together. Like can like can they slot to go? Can they like building like mechanisms? And Shane is just they show Shane's face and he's he's a gone. He's so gone, man. He's so gone. And so then Ilya looks kind of around, sees if anyone's nearby, and he just moves his hand just like a few inches. This is so sick. This is so sick. And then Shane moves his a little closer. And they talk about oh, what time are you leaving early tomorrow? Whatever. And then their little thumbs are touching in the sand. No. I think I want to die. I think because it's like again, none of like this is all so different. Like you can feel the difference, you know? And it's just like this is not a special thing. Shane's not even Shane is not even the one looking around. Like, he's not the one looking around. He's just like, okay, we're gonna hold little thumbs in public. And I'm not gonna worry about it. I'm just like I'm I'm putting myself out there now. You did it, and now it's my turn. Exactly. Thumb touching is not foreplay. It's no, it happens before they even talk about like if they're gonna meet up later. It's just like I found you. I'm here. I found you. I'm with my person in the room. It's like, oh, your person, your person is in the room, and you just you feel like you have to be touching them. It's just that's like stupid, but it's just like being in love. Like that is like what it feels like to be in love. If you're like, oh, I I need to gravitate and be physically close to this person. I just need to be closer to you. Oh so then Shane with almost a painful look in his eyes, he's like, What room are you in? And like it's not it's not even like this, like in earlier episodes where he's like, Oh, what room are you in? We should feel like it's like it's almost a designed thing, like this, oh, like this inevitable we we have to talk in private.

SPEAKER_00: 34:49

Joe, we gotta have it out. Okay, okay, good.

Abigail: 35:16

This is a really serious part. Ilya gets a text from Jane. Jane, I'm outside. Let's Jane in. Shane is being like, I have to be honest about my feelings right now, and this could be the end. And I my biggest fear is I'm gonna be honest. I'm finally gonna be honest, and I'm gonna get turned down. Yeah, and like maybe I'm too late, and I think like Oh, maybe I'm too late, and maybe it was my fault last time. Last time that was my opportunity, and I'm like, I now see that yeah, yeah, yeah. So Because Ilya's like, he's still talking to me and stuff, but like it's not the same as it was, and so I think like it's all that's there now, anyways. And so he comes like this is important because now they've both experienced what it's like to be on the back foot, you know? And now it's like, okay, Ilya tried, he kind of got rejected a little bit, and now he's his guard is up, and rightfully so. And now Shane is on the back foot a little bit, and so he comes in and and Ilya goes, Oh, I look serious. Yeah, and Shane was like, And Shane sits and he's like hunched over. Shane's like, it's not like uh can you sit down? And then he looks at Ilya and he says, It's not just me, right? This was like again, so perfect because Ilya's like, What are you talking about? Like, he's even though he you know that he knows, he understands the conversation that's being had, he's still like I'm not doing it. I gotta make you say it because guess what? Like, I've I've seen this play before. Yes, like I and I didn't like the ending. Like, I I'm gonna need you to spell it out because I made you a tuna mount and I bought you ginger ale and I called you Shane. Was I not clear enough? Like, yeah, and and then he says, uh, it's not just me, right? Like last time, like it was different. And he said, What was different? That you ran away, and he says, I'm sorry about that. He's like, I'm so, I'm so sorry. And Shane is being so brave, and he's just like so. He's like, he goes, This is hard enough without you being an asshole. Like, I just need you to like don't be mean, like I don't be dumb and don't be mean. And and then he's like, and he's like, I think I'm gay. And Iliel laughed. I get because I would be like, Okay, well, that's not where I thought that's like okay, you know, hey, I thought this was about me. And also, like, okay, actually, right before I I made this connection. So right before that, though, he's like, like, what are we? Like, what is this? You know, like you know, you know that's not what's going on, you know what I'm talking about. And um, it reminded me there's like an unreleased song from the soundtrack from episode two when they are hooking up in Shane's a condo for the first time, and it's like, what the hell are you? Who the hell are you? Yes. It was like that's I need that. It's unreleased. Release it. Yeah, I need it. I feel like that was so it was like I'm it's kind of like taps into this feeling of like, I'm scared of what we're what's what is happening between us. I am like that's also kind of what falling in love feels like. It's like I'm scaredless about how out of control I feel right now. And I need you to validate that I'm not the only one who feels this way. It can't just be me. Come on, it cannot like don't leave me here please because it's so terrifying, and it's not even just about being gay, it's about my arch rival. Exactly. You cannot leave me alone in this. That's like the vibe of this is like what Shane is trying to say. I feel yes, I totally agree. Um, this is the point where Ilya also comes and sits next to him on the bed, and so they're kind of like just sitting there, and you can tell again, like Ilya, he's so tense and he's like, I don't want to do this. I it feels like it feels like Ilya had this one moment of weakness, and then he sort of resolved himself of like, well, we can't. He's like, I'll never do again. I don't even want to have this conversation, yeah. And also, like, that was a mistake, that was vulnerable. Now that I've thought about it and I've forgotten my feelings hurt, I know that we can't have anything. So there's also no point in I do understand that sometimes it's like there's no point in having this conversation because it can't go anywhere, or like we can't fix the thing. That is a thing I relate to of like if we can't do anything about it, then why are we talking about it? And so you can tell he's like resisting, resisting, resisting. And um, he does start to soften after Shane apologizes. Yeah, and and Shane says, he says, Well, last time, like, sorry I freaked out, but before that, before that, it was more. And then it felt like we were something. It felt like we were something. He said, I it felt like more. And Ilya said, It was, or he said it was nice, and he said. It was. And then Shane goes, I think I like you a little too much. Because he said, You don't like me. And he's like, No, I think I like you too much. So sad as well. And then he's like, Here's the stakes. Yeah, he says, I felt like we were something. And Ilya says, We can't be something, Hollander, which going back to his last name, which was upsetting. And then Shane says, Would you want to be if we could? But he's a what the f point? I can never go home. And he starts laying it out. I can't go home. My mom is dead, which he didn't know. My dad has Alzheimer's. My brother sucks. My brother's police. My dad's police. I don't want to find out what would happen to me. I can never go home. And it's like laying out all this stuff. And then he a single tear starts falling down his face. No. And then he turns away and he goes, Sorry. Sorry. What? Sorry. Was sick again. Like then. I get that too. Like I'm apologizing for being emotional right now. I felt like he was apologizing for being emotional, but also just apologizing for the mess that is his life.

unknown: 41:07

Yeah.

Abigail: 41:07

And just being like, hey, even if this is if this is something that you could overcome, shame, because now I'm starting to feel like it's something you might want to overcome. I can't, I can't, I'll die. Like I could lose my life. You know what? I just had a vision, like, like that's so raven. I need an Ilya edit to Eldest Daughter by Taylor Swift because this dude is carrying like the burdens of his whole family. He was like, has no one that he feels like he can be open with. Even Svetlana, like, he doesn't tell her all the stuff that he's going through. And then this is the first time like we ever see him in the entire show be vulnerable about the things that are happening to him. So yeah, I'm never gonna let you down. I like I can't thought that I'd never find that. So so yeah, he says he's sorry, and says he's sorry, and then Shane climbs in his lap and he's being held again. But this time he's really being held, and Shane is like cradling him, and he's like crying into him. And I wrote my note here is they kiss, but they also hug, exclamation point, and he's crying. Exclamation points. I want to die. He's like fisting his shirt. And I feel like this was it. This was like, I don't know about in the book, but show moment-wise, which I'm very pro show can say on its own. Yes, I agree. It is the moment that they both the first moment that they both let their guard down for real. Yes, yes, and they both just say, like, I can't qu I can't keep pretending that this isn't real. I can't keep pretending that I don't want this. Yes. Which is exactly why I think it was so important that they do not show them having sex. It's implied. And then Shane leaves and um when he leaves. Because now they have words. They have words now. They don't they now they're having sex to exp to further express their feelings, but it's no longer their only language. Yes. So be disappointed if you want, but it's art. I don't care. I really don't care. I think it was the most brilliant genius choice that they made because it's like I just I don't even know how to say more words about it, but I just think like, yeah, you don't you don't miss it because you don't need it anymore. But before, if there's no sex, there's no relationship. But now it can stand on its own. And it's like emphasizing that by not including it anyway. So, and then implied that they do because Shane's like walking out, Ilya's laying shirtless on a rumpled bed. So he looks back and he's like, What? Because he Shane looks back at Ilya and he's like, What? What is it? Uh-huh. And Ilya goes, Nothing. Good night, Shane. Good night, Shane. So he's back to first names. It's just masterful. It is beautiful. It's it's amazing. I love it. And then like calling him by his first name again.

unknown: 43:57

Yeah.

Abigail: 43:58

Shane is like, Good night, Ilya. Good night, Ilya. Okay. Okay. Cut two. Um, Shane's back in Boston. And um Oh, this is hilarious. He he's like, his phone's lighting up, and Hayden says, Um, Boston Lily sexy you again, and he's like, Shut up, what? Shut up. He goes, I don't care. I don't care. And I said, in my notes, only a straight man could have a friendship who's this is your best friend. He's been getting texts from someone named Lily who you've never met for literally like a decade now. And your response is, I don't care. No, respectfully, you're not even gonna ask a single follow-up. If this was me and you, and like we were roommates, and and every time we went to Boston for close to a decade, someone that I never met was texting you.

unknown: 44:51

Correct.

Abigail: 44:52

And I and I I would be like, hey, I would I would be like like tailing you. It would it would take one it would take one time. First of all, I have you on find my friends, so I would be like, hmm, what is this address? Yeah, you know, like just come on, it would never happen. Like, this is just such a man friendship thing, you know what I mean? Like, there's just no other, you know, explanation for it because that's just a crazy response. But I get it. So Ilya's texting him and he's like, come over. And he's like, Yeah, Shane is like texting back at the beginning like he can. He's like, it's like before the game, as he's getting dressed. As he's getting dressed, correct. Which is so fun. Oh my god. He's like giggling, he's like texting. He's like, No, I'm not. I can come over, puts on my sweater, pulls on my shoes. No, this is like I can't do it. You know what it's giving? It's giving like it's giving like your partner like wants to like snuggle or like wants to do some key or like wants to like whatever. And you're like, no, I don't want to. But then like if they actually stopped, you would be like, you don't want to wait. How dare you?

unknown: 45:56

Exactly.

Abigail: 45:57

Because Amelia was like, okay, fine, sure, you're right. We have a game. Shannon would be like, wait, but I'm already like. Yeah, it's just goofy, it's flirty, it's fine. Um, so then we cut to the game later. I mean, yeah, they again they like implied. This is an important scene. We have to we have to cover this. Okay, sorry, I apologize. It's okay. He's laying with Ilya in bed. It's like post-coital in in bed breathing. And Ilya's phone is going off. His brother's calling him. This is not the first time, or maybe it's the first time he's sending his brother to voicemail. No, he was calling him another time scene earlier. He sent his brother to voicemail. Yeah. And so then Shane is like, oh, like you can answer that if you want. And he was like, no, I don't want to, whatever. And then he's like, starts probing. He's like, Well, how is your family? Whatever. And Ilya is like, enough, enough with the questions.

SPEAKER_02: 46:48

You asked too many questions.

Abigail: 46:50

And um he like leans over and he puts his like hand on Shane's knee, and this very again, like non-sexual but like loving touch. Yeah. And then Shane is like, I'm sorry. And Ilya goes, he's okay. And he was like, I actually need to clarify. I meant, I'm sorry, we're gonna kick your ass so bad. Yeah, yeah. And then Ilya goes, Oh, so now you are an asshole.

unknown: 47:16

Yeah, like that.

Abigail: 47:18

And he goes, and then he goes, we must tell everyone these. And then he cups his hands around his mouth, he goes, Shane Holidar is asshole. We're just cute. You're right. We're just not being cute. Yeah, they're just they're just nice. Yeah, it's like again, it's the first time this episode, there's multiple times where it's for the first time we're seeing them like they're not having this like tense conversation, they're not hooking up, they're just together, and it's just fun, and there's no other like intentions behind it, and it's just it's really nice to see. Yeah, so so then we cut to locker room. Yeah, I love this Ilya moment. He's like, remember, boy. He first of all, he sends his brother the voicemail again. Again, yeah. And then he's like, Remember, the rumors are true. Uh, a thousand dollars for every goal tonight. Like, I want to beat them. Whatever. Yeah. Then we see him come in after you don't see the game. He comes in back and he's like, No, no, you lie, you lie. I say every goal, you all have to give me a thousand dollars for every goal. I score. Everyone owes me three thousand dollars. Yeah. So you got a hat trick, he's having a great night, he's happy, and then the worst possible thing happens. So he picks up the phone from his brother and he's like, What the fuck do you want? And then it's just like And the music goes quiet. Yeah, and you know. The music in this show is its whole it's like it's an own character in this like cue where everything's so fun. The music cuts out and it tells you everything you need to do. Yeah, it cuts out. Yes, it's like, oh, you because you don't have to again the writing, like you don't have to have someone say, Hey, Ilya, our dad's dead. You just you can show it and oh, it's so good. Okay, then we go to the Montreal locker room. And he's JJ is the next day's game or something. Oh, do you guys hear about Rosinoff? He not go to I can't. Why am I doing everyone? Have like some unknown accent. He's like, Do you guys hear about Rosinoff? Like, he didn't go to the actual with the team, and Shane's like, oh, so he flew by himself. Oh man. And they're like, no, he didn't go at all. And then they're like, I just can't imagine. Is he sick? He's like, oh, he's not sick. I mean, I don't he didn't seem sick on the ice last night. The one time I saw him. Again, this wouldn't happen. If if you were my friend and you said that, I'd be like, wait, what do you mean he didn't he like he wasn't why did you answer that so fast? Like, why like why is no one paying any attention to this man? Right. Anyways, but I just imagine how worried he was and the anxiety and like how sick to his stomach. And so he texts him and he asks if you're okay, doesn't get an answer. Later, he's back at his house at night, and he tries calling and he gets his voicemail, which was really funny. So it's like, Oh yeah, I will never listen to your voicemail. Hi, this is Ilya. I will never listen to your voicemail. I was like, Yeah, surreal and funny for Ilya. Yeah. Um, so then yeah, but he's like just stressed and worried, and then he's reading, and then he gets a FaceTime call from Ilya, and he's like, Oh yeah, I know. This is actually my one regret about what was cut out of the show. Is I totally agree with you about we no longer need sex to explain their relationship. However, in the book, there is a really special moment in this part where like they are having FaceTime sex, but then Shane is like, I really just kind of want to like look at your face. Could we just like yeah, could we just look at each other's faces? Yeah, I get why that probably is hard to be able to do that. Yeah, it's really hard for them. I don't know how they would film like appropriately film that. Yeah, and and I think again, it this part cutting it out actually made me see this differently, this whole scene than I did in the book, where I'm like, oh, he's doing it again. Like I said earlier when he's when he's with Set Svetlana, he's like, I don't want to talk about my dad. I'm feeling upset. I'm going to use sex as a way to get like affection and like a dopamine high right now. Um, because I don't have any other way to like be vulnerable with you yet. Like I'm not there yet. And he'll get there, but like he's still not there yet. Yeah, and he's like, Yes, he's dead. I'm gonna be back by next week, whatever. Yeah, like like I hate it. But also, he's like, You were he he picks up the phone and he goes, You wear glasses? You wear glasses. He's like, Hey, the glasses stay on. The glasses stay on. So and well, uh he says, Well, Shane takes them off. He's like, Oh no, like only when I read. And then he doesn't even say anything back because like Shane's like, Are you okay? He goes, put them back on, please. Put them back on. He says, put them back on, please. And then Shane obeys immediately and puts them back on. And then he's like, Are you happy now? And he says, I'm happier. So that was my one regret. Um, but that's okay. It lives on in the book, and um yeah, it just made me see like in the book. I feel like that's such a sweet, tender scene between them, which I think is important. But I think it really having it in an episodic form, having not showing that scene continues to build the tension. So when we get the love confession, which is coming later in the scene in the in the show, I feel like it works so much better. I feel like it would be really difficult. Not that these actors don't have like can't act on a high degree of difficulty, but to show the emotional intimacy without the inner thoughts about what's happening during the FaceTime. Right, exactly, exactly. It might cheap. So I think it works for our TV medium to have cut that out. I do understand why you might be upset. Not you, but like the broader you might be upset it wasn't there, but I think it works in this episode. Okay, so this became insane. Memorial dinner. God, we have still so much left of this episode. I'm just like uh correct. I told you this is gonna be two hours because I think I could spend a full two hours on the scene with Ely and his brother alone, okay? We're at the memorial dinner thing. It's a very dark, dark light. Yes, and the music, it's like it's very like Russia. It's Russia, it's very Twitter. It's very TV rushing. Yeah, it's like like never having never been. Do you know how like on TV they'll be like, make everything look like golden and dusty if it's supposed to be like in the Middle East or something? Yeah. Like it's like no, the dark lighting, it's everything is vaguely wet and cold looking. There's vodka, there's weird music, yes. Moscow. Yes, Moscow. So I have no idea if that's what Russia's really like, but that's what TV Russia's like. Yeah. And you know what? Um, now we're gonna find out. And I don't think they're gonna let this show be in Russia, so correct. Okay, so whatever. They'll never find out either. Yeah. Um he's like kind of having a time. He steps out of the dinner and his brother steps out with him. And he's like, Hey, Ilya, what's the plan? They're having this whole conversation in Russian. And he's like, What do you mean it's a plan? My like he just died. And he's like, Well, you abandoned us. And he's like, I paid for everything. I put food in your belly and coke up your nose. And he's like, I have a daughter, I took care of him every day, whatever. I could just like complicated families, I love them so much in a sick way. It hurts me. Um, but like I thought actually, like Alexi, up to this point and throughout the book, I think, is like a pure villain. But I actually think in this moment, even though he is still being sh and horrible in a lot of ways, there's something like more interesting because it's like, hey, Ilia, you got to leave. You got to go and live in America, and you get to be free from this, and you didn't have to watch dad die, you didn't have to care for him, which is like a horrible thing we go through to care for a dying person. And you got to make all this money, you have all these women, like, you get to be free, and I didn't get that. And now you're leaving me behind again, and like I just thought the like portrayal of the brother and like certain some parts of like the Russian confession later was so much more interesting than having Alexi just be sort of like this pure antagonist, um, to have him be like a person with again complicated feelings and like not maybe a good person, but like there's like genuine resentment there that comes from a real place. Yeah, like he's that's like understandable. He's definitely a morally great person. I think you know, he makes sense with when you take the sum of his experiences, and he probably does feel like he's been living in his brother's shadow, and he's been stuck with an emotionally unintelligent father. He also lost his mother when he was a young child. Yeah, I thought the guy who plays him did an incredible job portraying that. And you know, he sucks, and also I kind of see where he's coming from. Exactly. Like if it was me, and I think this is probably um like a super common dynamic where like uh especially in like immigrant families where one family member goes and one family member stays, and it's like both are going to resent each other because they don't understand each other's experiences, and like his brother Alexi doesn't understand the things Ilya has sacrificed, um, or like the loneliness maybe he feels, and how much he says later, like he wishes he could have taken care of his dad in some ways, and Ilya will never understand what what Alexi went through, and like they're both kind of guilt no matter what, yeah, and it's like yeah, maybe it's probably for the best that they're not gonna have a relationship after this, but like, yeah, they both have parts of them that are understandable and nuanced, and I thought that was like so like hard to watch, but obviously then Ilya, yeah. Uh Alexi's being like uh an asshole on the scene and being aggressive with Alien. That's not that's not good either. So and then Svetlana steps out and she's like, Hey, I thought I heard singing, I thought you guys were talking, and then Alexi is like now I he's looks at Svetlana and he's like, Now I have to hear this whore run her mouth, and that sets Ilya off. Yeah, she does not like that, and I then that's another moment I appreciate it. It's like we've kind of established Ilya does not love Svetlana that way, but he's like, She's my family, but he does love her, yeah. She's my family, and even like I thought that's interesting because uh his brother like calls him a slur, he doesn't react to that, but he says something uh he calls Svetlana a whore, and that's what like is gonna make him become violent. And he doesn't play about the people he loves. Yeah, he's just like, Okay, yeah, whatever. Like, I suck. Like, you don't like me. The same thing from earlier, you don't like me, but don't talk about my friends and family. Like, I will I will end up so to him. Svetlana is all he has, yeah. Like that's his one family. Yeah, so he's he goes off on his brother and he's like, I'll make a trust for my niece, she'll have it when she's 18. Never contact me again. I'm never coming back here. You gotta set some straight, whatever. And then the brother walks away, and then he has a conversation with Svetlana, and he's like, I don't deserve you, you know. And she says, You don't, but you don't like you're right, but like you don't want me. Or she's he was like, you know, I love you. And he's like, Yes, but you don't want me. And she's like, I love you too. And then she says, I hope Jane knows how lucky he is. That's what I'm talking about. Hayden is not clocking this, like Svetlana is clocking this. A woman. Women instead. Women instead. She was like Women. Okay, we all know. Jane rhymes with Shane. This took me five minutes to put it on. Okay, this took me five minutes. Every time he's on the screen, you get hard. Like, you're really weird. Okay, like you'll talk to me about any man in your life except for when I bring up Shane Hollander, you get weird. Like, hello?

unknown: 59:26

Okay.

Abigail: 59:28

Okay, so yes, that was insane. I love her. I love her. She is a queen, Rose is a queen, Atlanta is a queen, Yuna is a queen. The women in the show are just queens. Killing it. All right, how are we doing? We have not even gotten to the most emotionally tense parts of this episode. I know. I know. Oh my god. Okay.

unknown: 59:50

Okay.

Abigail: 59:51

Sponsor us now would be a great time for an ad break. We don't. So he goes outside and he's walking, and he calls. We text. He texts Shane. He texts him. He's like, Are you alone? He was not alone, but he's like, Yes. He walks in. He runs when we need it about something. I'm going to. And Hayden goes, Uh, I don't care. He goes, like, like, I don't, whatever. Yeah. Again.

unknown: 1:00:15

Okay.

Abigail: 1:00:16

Again. If you were doing that, I'd be like, is everything okay? Yeah. Why are you running away? It's so aggressive to me when I gave you following me to the stairwell to listen to the conversation. Are you good? Anyways, um, they're rooming together. He goes to the stairwell. And he calls. And this is when I know this isn't gonna get any Emmys. Like, I do understand that. He deserves it. But I think Connor's story deserves an award for this scene. Because to learn, first of all, I've seen like Russian speakers say that he does amazing with his Russian. But like to learn it within a few weeks, and to act at the caliber that he's been acting while speaking a language you don't know, while everyone around you speaking a language you don't know, that's insane. And so I just like all the he deserves everything. So Shane answers. I mean they both do, but Shane answers and he goes, How are you? And he was like, And the fact that he called, he called him. I'm sorry, but just the fact that he called Shane when he was in emotional distress. He didn't try to like deal with it by himself. He's like, I'm gonna call Shane. Okay. He was like, continue. Shane answers. Not great, bad, probably. Yeah.

unknown: 1:01:28

Yeah.

Abigail: 1:01:28

And then he's like starting to talk about like well, Shane was kind of like dumb. Like he's trying his best, but he's not helpful. Yeah. He was like, Is it very painful? Is it is it very hurtful? I'm like, Yeah. Yeah. Obviously. It's giving, respectfully, it's giving somebody who has never seen their parents have a fight. Yeah. Okay. Shane's giving only child. He's giving only child happily married parents who love each other. Alright. Definitely never lost anybody. Nobody in his life's ever died. He doesn't understand what the fuck is going on. Yeah. Okay. So and then Ilya says, I think I am maybe I'm upset about the wrong thing. Yeah, and he's like, I don't know, English is hard right now. Yes, and he's before that though, he says, um, I'm wishing things, maybe I'm wishing things were different. I wish he could know me. And that made me want to die again because yeah, like now he's it's I think a probably a common experience. Like, I never was myself with my dad, and he never got to know you, who's the person I love, and he never got to really know me. And now, even though if he had lived and he had never had dementia, I probably still never would have told him. Also, he probably wouldn't have accepted me, but at least he would have known. Yeah, but like now there's no chance. Like he'll never know me, and he'll never know you. And that was so horrible. Yeah. Anyways, then he says English is hard right now. This was a lot. So then Shane says, Well, Shane says, I wish I won't understand what you're saying, but at least but it might help. So Elyah starts talking in Russian and starts speaking in Russian and telling about all the stuff that's going on with his brother, and how everyone's always asking more, more, more. And how he feels empty. I never want to come back here again. Yes. I can't come back here. Like I love yeah. Yeah. I have no one except Svetlana, and I love her too, but not like, and then he stops. He's in single tear again. He's like, I love you know, I love Svetlana, but not like and then he goes, not like I love you. And he goes, not like I love you. All I want is you. All I want is you. It's always you. I'm so in love with you. And I don't know what to do about it. I'm like, damn. I obviously because I can't speak Russian, I don't, I can't emulate what he did, but it like the emotion, like his voice is like cracking over. Exactly. Exactly. And it's like, how do you do that? How do you do that? I guess I made a note. His face is so vulnerable. He's never been so vulnerable and exposed as when he says, Yes, but it's not like how I love you. And it's almost like it's the first time he's admitting it to himself. Yes. Yes. He's never even admitted it to himself before, but in this moment he's realizing, I love Svetlana. But it's always you. But you, yeah. It's always you. It's just so insane. And um, yeah. And then they're cutting to Shane in the stairwell with his eyes closed. He's like listening. And it's like he's like almost like I don't know. It's like the sentiment is transcending language. Like you can kind of tell when someone's saying they love you, even if you don't know what they're saying. It's just one of those things. No, like I don't I also want to talk about this scene because I want to know your thoughts. I personally like was so uncertain how they were gonna portray this because in the book, you don't get any translation for any of it. You just get the like reveal a little bit like you know, after Shane's experience hearing this, that he says, you know, I think I'm in the last line, I I am so in love with you and I don't know what to do about it. So I'm like, okay, how are they gonna show that? Like, are they not gonna translate? Are there's gonna be no subtitle? Like, what's the and I think this works so well again, like with them cutting out the sweeter moments from earlier from their like phone sex scene, like showing this and showing him saying all of this, it it just lands. Like it, I yeah, I think they did it perfectly, and the writing is perfect, and like to go through this, like I'm upset about the wrong thing. Okay, here's the wrong thing I'm upset about. I'm upset, I don't want to come back here. I hate my family, like whatever, but that's not even it. That's not it. Here's the thing that is it, I'm in love with you, and I don't know what to do about it. And like this whole scene, the acting, I think it was the right choice. I think it was perfect to translate the whole thing. So I'm like 10 out of 10, no notes. Standing in this, like under a bridge, it's snowy, he's like crouched down. Yeah, and it like even the crouching, like that was a choice. Like when he gets to the part where he's gonna tell Shane, like it's not like I love you. Yeah, it's like he's in a vulnerable crouch, and he can barely hold on to his phone, and his voice is cracking, and it's like this big, tough hockey player has been slain, and he's just this tiny little boy again. Yeah, which is like exactly how it feels sometimes at funerals and like going home, and it makes you feel like a little kid sometimes when you're back with your family, and so he's just so vulnerable, and then to like open up in this way, even if it's in Russian, which in fact is probably more difficult to do because it's like his genuine that's his heart, you know. Like, if you tell someone you love them in a language that's not your first language, it doesn't mean that much to you. Like, it's like cursing in Spanish or whatever. Like, you're like, ah, this is funny. But if you say it in your language, it means something. And so for him to say this in Russian is also like the way that he doesn't really sit. I mean, he just and he's like, you know, I love you too, Svedlana. But like, aside from that, really, it's like he said to his mom, really, that I love you, and she loved him in Russian, and that's that's it. Those are the people he's loved in Russian. So that's three people. You know, that's that's a lot. Okay. So so yeah, perfect. Perfect. So then Shane is like, I could not have imagined this better. Okay, I know, it's literally perfect. Everyone on the show is perfect. So then Shane goes, Well, maybe you can teach me Russian someday, and then Ilya back to like being goofy and funny. He's like, Yeah, only the important phrases like harder, please. Yes, sir. Which is so funny. And he's like, and you probably you learn one week in perfect accent. Yeah. Bonjour. And then Ily Ilya or Shane goes, Ilya, that's French. And he goes, I know Shane. He says, I know Shane. That is so being in love coded when you're like are constantly saying the person's name when you don't have to. Saying someone's name. Yeah. Come on. That's insane. It's insane. Okay. And then he says, Well, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry. Then he goes, What about how about I wish you were here? Oh god. Yeah, I didn't even write that down because it was just I was too overwhelmed. He says, How about I wish you were here? And then Ilya responds in Russian and says, I wish I was there too. Hey, could we get someone to pick me up in a van and strap me down? Intervention. I need intervention. That was crazy. That was crazy because he's again like it's just it's all been leading here, obviously, but it's like the progression and seeing them both soften, and now they're both soft. And it's like we're laying the foundation now for what's gonna happen at the end of the episode. It doesn't come out of nowhere. It's like, hey, I'm soft. I'll believe in it. I wish you were here. I'll believe like I and to say that to someone, yeah. Like, I'll believe in it. Just being like I wish you were here. I'm gonna be I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm gonna like I trust you enough, and I'm gonna be this whole episode is about being brave and be oh everybody with your feelings, and it takes so much bravery to show that you love somebody. It's really hard. Yeah, especially when the whole world is against you. It's just wow. Totally. God, we still have so much. Okay, so I know so much critical stuff. Okay, this episode was insane. Last week we were like, how are they gonna fit this? This they did it all and they did it perfectly. They did it. They did it. I'm sorry for doubting you guys. I am so sorry for doubting you because that was Longton. I am like, I'm I'm in this cult and I'm happy to be here. So we're Kyro. So then we're at the Boston versus Montreal. They're playing each other a lot back to back, but I get it. I mean, it happens. So Shane and Ilya meet up center ice stretching. And Shane, talk about being bold. He's like, hey, are our plans still on for later? Yeah. Hey, here's my front door code. 1919. And he's letting him come through the front door. It's just all and Ilya says, Oh, I can come through the front door now. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he says, F you and he says, later. Later. Okay, so he skates back over. Yeah. Sees Hayden. Hayden's like, what's the deal? What was that about? He's like, oh, give me my condolences, blah, blah, blah. Then they face off. And it's like a callback, too, to the very first scene from the very first episode when you disappoint them. But this time they're having fun. Like they're both laughing and they're like, he's like they are so in love. I mean, the eye guys are just so like like it's just disgusting, kind of where you when you're looking at the person you love and it's just like no one picking up. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, in this universe, the TikTok editors are going crazy. And people are in their comments hating on them, saying they're not in love. This is sick. Why would you post this? And they know they know this is Gaylor hype. I see you girls. This is Gaylor. This is Will Mac. You guys. This is Lama. Yes. So anyway. Um okay. Yeah, I mean, also, God, this was like peak Tumblr era. So I mean sets of that. The fact that they think they're being so sly when there's a 17-year-old girl on Tumblr reading you for filth. So yeah, they're they're looking at each other very dreamily on the ice, um, which is a mistake. And just to be clear, I am all for gay hockey players. I don't want my gay hockey players staring at each other on the ice and throwing the game because and the entire Stanley Cup because you were staring at your opponent dreamily on the ice. Save it for later, boys. Save for later. Shane like looks back because he like he wins the face-off. He like looks back to kind of like be cheeky at Ilya. And then he just gets totally blindsided. Job locked. Yes, slammed on the ground. Yes. And it was pretty out. And then they switched to like the broadcast feed. Yes. Which was great. I loved that idea. Excellent. No notes. And they switched to the broadcast feed, and um Ilya is like skating around him. So they okay. I think they're and I've already seen it. There's people who are gonna who are mad about the changes to this scene. I know, I know. I'm not, but yeah. So the I'll hail Plankton, as we said. I'm in a cult. But like before by the way, I'm like so susceptible to cults. So easy for me. Give me a good premise. Tracks. Yeah.

unknown: 1:13:06

Yeah.

Abigail: 1:13:07

We've been super cult survivors. Yeah. In a real cult. Okay, so in the book, he's like, Ilya, they can see us. Ilya, everyone can see us. Like, we had so much to jam into this episode. We had to keep the scene snappy. So they changed the way. Also, I do I do agree. That's kind of like an insane thing to have him say in this moment. That would have been so like, okay, no one noticed that. Right. Like, I do think if you're watching it. Where it was like the medics after Shane was like, no, tell Ilya, tell Ilya I'm okay. Like, I'm sitting on a bad boy piece of information.

unknown: 1:13:45

Exactly.

Abigail: 1:13:46

And I think like there's also a world where you can keep hold space. Let's hold space for the book. But maybe like, yes, maybe like in Shane's mind, he was trying to say that. And in reality, and I think like Ilya again, if he starts going crazy at this moment, it also takes away from later. Because again, he is still now, they have like they're softening, but he's still on the team. We can't be anything. For him to go crazy in such a public way, I think is not where he's at in the show. If you hear him say, F tell me how he is, write the f now. Is he okay? Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, what's going on there? So yeah, he kind of like skates away. He's like hovering, and the commentators are like, say what you want about these two, but they've been playing together for a long time. A lot of respect. Clearly they have a lot of respect for each other or whatever. Like, I would not be thinking that. No, I mean respectfully, boys, at this point, the jig is up. But also, I just I do want to go your straight male friend. Go ahead. Okay, go ahead. No, your straight male friends will fight the other guy, like Hayden will beat the out of this guy who hit him. But they're not gonna like ask you any questions about how you're doing. No, no, I thought it was really I liked that that Hayden did the fight. Again, he has a straight relationship with Hayden. This is the difference. Okay. Yeah, Shane's getting carted off, and he says, Tell him I'm fine. I'm okay. He's like, of course he's gonna call your dad. He's like, No, they're like, no, Ilya next morning in the hospital. This is my favorite scene of any. This is the best scene that's ever happened to me in my whole life. Ever, ever. Since the all-star scene. The all-star scene, that was the all-star montage, it was there, and then this. Then peaked, peaked. Yeah. So Ilya comes in and goes, Ilya! And he goes, And he's like, he's like, he's like, I want to, and he's like, he's really messed up. I mean, you can like Shane is drugged up in this moment. Yeah. Ilya is really scared. He was scared about what he was gonna come to see. And like the the his dad just died. His dad just died, and then this happens, and like And he knew like that also Shane had a brain injury, like he had a concussion. Yes, yes, and he's hurt, and he doesn't know how he is, and he can't ask anyone because like he doesn't have anybody he can ask who would tell him they would think he's being like an asshole. So he has to wait until the next day when it's maybe normal for like the team captain to go visit him and make sure he's okay. And like he the whole time he's probably wondering, like, is he even okay? Like, I can't even know what's going on. And then he comes in and sees him, and it's like I just Are you okay? Are you okay? And he's like, Hey, and he starts like reaching out for him. Hey! And he's like, he's like, shh, shh, shh, and he comes over and he like comes in and holds his hand, and he goes, Holds his hands better, yeah, better, better, better, and then he says, Ilya says, You scared me, and he's like, Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't text you last night. And then Ilya like rokes his freckles. Touches his freckles. Oh, that's like he was touching his freckles, yeah. He was touching, he touches his freckles with a thumb, and then he like kind of cups his face a little more. I'm sick. Ah, I am sick. Okay, and then he's like, I'm mostly mad at what's his face, the guy who hit him for ruining last night. And he's like so kind of lit. Had a whole plan. I was gonna ask you something, and then Ilya goes, Hollander, Hollander, maybe you just rest right now. Because he knew something, he knew he knew something. And he's like, Maybe you don't really want to say this. Yeah, like maybe you're you're gonna regret this later. Hollander, maybe you just rest right now. And then he goes, Excuse me, will you come to my cottage this summer? We can't spend a week. Go to Russia, maybe two. And come to my house. Come to my house. And Ilya's like, Shane, or he's like, Hollander, you know we can't do that. And he was like, It's private, no one will be there. And he was like, Okay, maybe. Maybe, maybe. But it's the kind of maybe where it's a no, like you know, like this is the the maybe someone says when they when they mean no. And he's like, We can't again, it's like, yeah, it's so important to me because we know where Ilya is now, we know he's in love, but he's still not there to be like this could be a thing, that we could actually have a real relationship. And um, yeah, he's still like we can never be a thing, and so he's this like tortured little soul who's just like, we're just gonna keep doing this forever, we're gonna keep hooking up when we play each other, and maybe like at all-star weekends or whatever, and like that's all we're ever gonna have. And I'm in love with you, but this is like the extent of it, and I just need to make sure you're okay, and it's just so much in this one little scene that it's just like he's so at war, you know, he's so at war with himself because he's like, I showed up here anyway, which I know I shouldn't have done. Yeah, the nurse comes in, and and Ilya, like, sorry, he set the stakes earlier, obviously, but like to be emphatic, if he stops playing hockey, he can't live in America anymore. He is on a visa to play hockey, and so that is like a higher stakes than just like not wanting to be outed. It's like I cannot go back to Russia. If he gets in trouble for having a romantic relationship with his rival, and then no other team wants him, then he has to go back to Russia, but he goes back to Russia outed. Yeah. So it the stakes are that high. They are so, anyways, okay. Then the nurse comes in and Shane says, Oh no.

SPEAKER_00: 1:19:51

Which was so funny, just so silly.

Abigail: 1:19:53

Oh no, and by the way, I have a deep fear of going after anesthesia because it freaks me out. That you would just say stuff that you like have no intention of saying. When I went under anesthesia for my wisdom teeth, I uh came out and I was like crying. I was like so emotional. Um and they were like, I was like, oh my god, it's already over, whatever. This is before me and Zach were engaged, and he was in the waiting room waiting for me. And they were like, Yeah, like you know, uh, your boyfriend or someone, you know, your partner is here, he's gonna come get you. And I was like, oh my god. And I was like, We're gonna get married. I was like, he loves me so much. They're like, Okay, okay. Like, what could I say? Yeah, okay. So, okay, so the nurse comes in and she's like, Are you gonna smother him with a pillows and off? He's like, Oh no, but uh good idea. There's an idea, and then he like he's like smiling at her, and then he looks back at Shane, and he's he keeps on being like, Shut up, like, don't fucking say anything. He's like, Oh my god, he's out of control. And then he's leaving, and then Shane's like, bye. And he's like, Okay, well, so no longer. And he looks back and he's like, Yeah, he's like, But he says goodbye, like so soft, like goodbye. It's just okay. Um then Kato Shane's on the phone with Rose. He's at his parents' house. It's playoff season. Rosinoff is playing. Yes, he's watching. He's got a sling, he's like, I got a couple more days so I can take the sling off. And she's like, how's jerking off? And he says, Ma'am, I've met my parents. So she says, Oh, so constant. I just love this is such a fun scene because it's like, okay, they really are friends. Like, this is such a stupid conversation, but they really are friends. So that was nice. Um, and so he goes in, he watches like Ilya loses. Um then you see their texting later, and he's like checking it, like, how are your ribs? Like, how is everything like they've they've been chatting, they're keeping up with each other. I just noted that Shane is wearing his glasses again, which is so cute. Yes, and Shane's mom says, turn off all the lights and stop staring at your screen, and like that is just like god, she is such a mom. Like, that's so my mom. And he's like, I'm a grown man, I'm fine. Yeah, like I'm an adult NHL player, and you're you're like telling me, Don't stare at my screen. He's like, My head's gonna be like, and so and he says, Well, Yuna is like, yeah, I think Scott Hunter's year is here. And he's like, What are you talking about? And he's like, I think the admirals are gonna win the cup. Cut two, final game of Stanley Cup. Yes, Stanley Final. And or the MLH Cup. MLH Cup. Okay, that looks exactly like Scott Hunter He wins. He wins, and he is like texting like right before he wins. The Shane and Ilya are texting, and he's like, I can't believe like he's about to win. He's like 100,000 years old. Yeah, he's like, This sucks. Yeah, this sucks. And also Ilya's passion for Russia. It should have been me. Mind you, they both already won multiple times. But the thing is, I think you never stop wanting to win. I get that. Um, yeah, so at Lama's like, put this, don't forget this for your niece, and he says, put it in the suitcase so you know he's like he's going back to Russia. And I'm gonna be sick. So they win. Scott hoists the trophy, and he's happy, whatever. You cut to the audience and you see Kip, Alana, and Kip's dad with him at the game. I didn't even notice Kip's dad. Kip's dad is to the right of him. Stop. I did not even notice that. Kip's dad is okay. Can we stop here and talk about what we think? What is your theory of what happened in between the skip episode and now? Do you have one? I mean Or do you want to wait until we get through the episode? No, I think this is this is fine. I think Okay just they kind of oh, I don't think that they really broke up at the end of episode three. It just is like this kind of sucks. In the book, it's months, right? But in the show, it's like a month, yeah. It's like years. This is like three years. So he's been living, they've been living in the closet for years. So I m my thoughts are that Scott has become okay with Kip telling his dad and telling some close friends, but they're still not living openly. Because otherwise, I don't know why Kip's dad would be there. I think there's kind of like a middle ground, kind of where Chain and Ilya are in the long game. We're like close, trusted people know, but they aren't living openly. I agree. Okay. I'm on the same page as you. And I think implied at the beginning that he's on a tear and he played way better when he's with Kip. So I feel like it's implied that they're together. I agree they never really broke up. And I don't think it yeah, I don't think this is something Scott does to like win Kip back. No. Like that would be weird. I think they're if they have been together. He's they've opened up a little, but like they're not out. Yeah. Come on. That's what I'm saying. First of all, Kip cannot afford this. No. This kid, he's in grad school studying art history. Like, maybe at this point he's graduated with his art history masters, but still, he's not affording it. No, yeah. So, yes, okay. I'm on the same page. So his dad, so he looks up, and Kip, bless his heart, has tears in his eyes. Because he's so proud of his man, and also he's like, And he's sad to be with you. And then all the wives and children start walking out onto the ice. And even the announcer says, like, oh, it's like the tradition where all the family gets to come out, and um, so yeah, they're even like calling attention to it. And not only is Kipnot out there, he has no family. Yes, Scott's just alone, everyone else has family. He's like skating around and Scott's by himself. It's just this moment of clarity for him. And he played Scott Scott Hunt first of all, he looks hotter than he's ever looked. Yeah, I just know what I say. He looks so good. I'm not really like a Scott Hunter girly. He doesn't know he's not my type, but like sweaty boy who's wasting trophy. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. Anyways, so what were you gonna say? He looks out into the audience, he locks eyes with Kip, and then the music I'll Believe in Anything by Wolf Perk. The first notes of the song are going to like for the city. And it's like a callback to the beginning of episode three when Scott is running like an insane person. Yes. And Elena says, It's okay to be sad, Kip. And he's like, I'm not sad. And it's like, yeah, it's okay to be sad that you can't be down there with all the other wags. I'm sad, it's okay. It's okay if you are. Yeah, it's okay to be sad. Yeah. And then Scott is like, But then Scott looks at him. He goes, he he looks at him, he says, Yes, you. And you can see it, like again, the acting is so good because you can see it on his face. He is like taking these deep breaths and he's like thinking, and it's like, here's everything. This is everything I've ever wanted. Yeah. I have made it to you. It's like that Taylor Swift thing where she's like, I was when she won album of the year for 1989, she's like, I made it to the top, and I had no one there with me. And I looked around, yeah, and there's nobody there with me. That's exactly what it is. And he's like, if I can't do this now, then what is it? Like, if I if I can't be happy winning the cup, which is the thing I've always wanted, and I'm at the top of my game, and I'm at the end of my career, and I still can't be happy, like, then what am I doing? And so, like, yeah, you, you, Kip. He's like, he's like, yeah, you. He's like, get down here. And then okay, so there's a lot of going on because like Shane and Illy are kind of wrapping up the game, but then all of a sudden they notice in the camera, the the they cut to the broadcast feed again, and they're like, This is a lucky fan. Yeah, like Kip is like walking down in the most homosexual outfit of all. Exactly. I would be like, Oh, that's his boy. It's okay instantly again. Like, why are we questioning screaming homosexuality? Anyway, so he he's like walking down slowly. It's almost like he Kip's keeping like, no, this isn't this. I'm still pretending this whole time. And then he like very slowly, like Oh, yeah, that's just my body scar. He very slowly just like kind of hops over the board and he's like, get out of here. And he's like, You don't have to do this. But we're then we're cutting also into the living rooms of Shane and Ilya, who we're texting each other and are like, what's going on? Who is this? Who is this? Pull some out on the ice, which pause. I would eat, I would eat sh. I would eat shit. Exactly. I would eat shit on the ice. I would never get to kiss my boyfriend. No, I'd be dead. Unfortunately, I would crack my head open. I'd be bleeding out on the ice. And he goes, I love you so much. And he gives him the most romantic kiss of all time. And and then the music's hitting its peak. And then mine too like about Give me, give me your eyes. I need sunshine. Sunshine. It's like calling back to Atlanta being like, you guys deserve sunshine. And he's like, give me Jacob Tierney. I'm in your waves. Sunshine and sunshine. And when he when the song is going like that and he looks at Kip is when the hit the lyric hits, I need sunshine. Sunshine. Like the music, the writing, the callback, everything about this was insane. Oh wow. I loved it so much. And I just think like the feeling of like you've had this thing that you felt like you must be the only one dealing with it for all this time. And then to see Scott Hunter kiss his boyfriend on TV, like so I said, Hey, by the way, if your son rapidly stands up and sprints out of the room after this happens, he is gay.

unknown: 1:29:32

Like, why?

Abigail: 1:29:33

They don't even look. If that's my son, I'm like, okay, gay son. You know, are we paying attention to our children? You know? Yeah, parenting literacy. So anyway, he gets up, he leaves the room. Like, hey son, anything to tell me? But their faces are a gape. So Shane's Shane's face is like, his mouth is open, he's looking at the screen. Ilya is like elation, I think. His eyes are just like, Yeah. And this is like, oh, this is so this is the part that's gonna make me cry. It's so important to be brave, you know? Because you think it's just about you, and you think it's just about Clip. And it is about you guys, but it's also about like everyone else that sees you and knows you, and even just like the existence of this show in a time in our culture when we're going backwards so and like like these traditional ideas about like marriage and relationships and family are like digging in as hard as possible, and it's like it's in dominant culture, it's like it's in subculture, it's like subliminally messaged in our art and media and songs and all this stuff. Like, even for this show to come out now is just so important, and it's the same thing, it's doing the same thing, probably for a lot of young people, a lot of young, queer people that like Scott and Kip are doing in this moment for Shane and Ilya. Correct, I just so important, and like and just the the message not even being like you deserve like get your man, but it's like I need sunshine, I need to be able to live in the light. To live in the light, I can't live in the dark like this anymore. I don't people aren't meant to live like that, right? Because it's costing me like I don't have any close relationships in my life at all because I have been living like this. No, and uh yeah, it makes me sick. Um, in a possible just like, gosh, him doing this, you see how it free sets Shane and Ilya free, even though they're not gonna come out with their relationship, like spoiler alert, yeah, but like to still be like, yeah, like it's important because there are kids who are quit hockey because they feel like there's no place for them there, or like teenagers who like stop playing, or people living like Scott Hunter who like have no friends because like they feel like they can't be themselves, and so I think it is important, yeah. It's like Scott deserves to have who he wants on the ice just as much as everybody else does, and it shouldn't be like a thing, but because he makes it a thing, he has to be the first one to do it because no one else ever has, but because he does it, like, yeah, the ripple effects are not just about Shane and Nelia. That's the ones we see because that's the stories we're looking at, but like it's it's gonna pave the way for other people to be who they are, and I think the lesson here is like just because you don't see the impact of your bravery and your courage and your transparency doesn't mean it doesn't happen, you know? Like being bold or like pioneering, or like I don't know, being the first in your bloodline to prophesy about Wolf Star, you know what I'm saying? Like it's just because you don't know, you don't see the immediate value, yeah, doesn't mean that it's not there. Yeah, and you just never know. Like being brave can also be small things, it doesn't have to be this. I feel like yeah, or like little, you know, modeled in some of the other books. So I guess spoiler if you want to read the other books, but like being brave might even be like calling out a teammate when they say something homophobic. Yeah. Or calling out your best friend like on the ice right after he he comes out like with sexual abuse allegations, you know, like it's not even the courage to make a statement about yourself, but it's just the courage to do the right thing. And okay, so Shane's phone is ringing. So they're kissing. Yeah, they're kissing, and it's so beautiful. And Kip is just baby boy. I just want to cradle him to my chest. Like, he's my son, he is my son, and he deserves sunshine, and he's just he does, and he gets it. He does get it, and they have their moment, and it's like I didn't like anything else about the book Game Changer, as I've said, but I have been chasing the high of this moment ever since because like that's peak to me. You win the and I actually love that instead of making it like two months into the relationship, they make it years. Like, this is something that they've been dealing with for a long time, and Scott, like finally just makes the decision, and it comes without any pressure. It's not like obviously they found a way to work it out, they found a balance that they can both be comfortable with. Kip was like, you don't have to do this, and Scott's like, Yeah, like I don't have to do it, but I want to. It's just so important to me. Girls, if he wanted to, he would. If he wanted to, he would. Yeah, if he wanted to, he would. Shane steps in the hallway around the corner. He opens his, he answers the phone and he just goes, Oh, oh my gosh, or something like that. He's like, dude, what? Did you see that? Did you see this? Yeah, and the music is still going. And then Arya says, I'm coming to cottage. And the music just cuts out, and the episode ends. Yes, perfect. No notes, zero notes. You Jacob tyranny. When I find you. You literally got a 10 out of 10. This is nothing will ever be topped. Standing ovation. This was executed flawlessly. We will be perfect in every aspect of the game. Uh yeah, I I didn't know how they were gonna do it. I didn't, I didn't believe. Um, but I believe now, and I'm a believer, and I will follow you wherever you can. When I first watched the kiss, I screamed. I actually did let out a scream. Yeah. Yes, my heart was racing. I felt like it was real. I feel like that's my that's my close personal friend, Scott Hunter, and my son came. Okay, my son, who I literally gave birth to. Hey, he was literally a cage in my ovary. He slid down my fallopian tube, then he got implanted on my uterine wall. And then I gave birth to him after carrying him for seven or nine months, however long you're pregnant. And then I raised him, sent him to grad school. That's my son. He's my son. That's why he has no mom. Yeah. The closest I've ever felt to this, maybe, was after was like the Taylor Swift Super Bowl win. Like on the field. When she goes on the field. Yeah, but imagine if they were gay. It's that, it's literally that, but if they were gay. And then the announcers are like, good for Scott Hunter. Like big night for hockey. Good for him. All right, you had to suspend your disbelief because they would have cut away. Correct. Oh, they probably would have cut away. This would have been on an iPhone. Like, we would have been seeing this on social media, not on the broadcast. Yeah. Yeah. I guess it depends who's running the broadcast, but yeah. If it's a Canadian team, maybe we get to see it. If it's an American team in the finals, so it's getting cut. We had there was a lot of speculation within the fandom about if we were gonna get a full cottage episode. And we are, baby. We are. And we there was so much, there was so much discussion and there was so much you know, finger biting, nail biting. Chief Doubter. Yeah. How are they gonna how are they gonna fit all of this in episode five? How are we gonna have a whole cottage episode? So now knowing what you know now, how do you think things how do you think things will be left at the end of episode six? That's a really good question. Let me pull up my copy of the book that I checked out from Hoop Law to do research. Because I think well, so we're gonna open with like I've never read it, like I've I've always read it back to back with long games, so I can't oh yeah. It opens with them like nervously meeting each other. Yeah, for sure. Driving to the cottage, we're gonna see like grilling, we're gonna see lake activities. Okay, so how it ends though is this this might be the perfect way to end it, basically. Where they're talking about their plan. Ilya says, like, once I when I retire, after I have won 12 Stanley Cubs and 13 MVP awards. And you have been retired for like eight years already, because you got very bad at hockey, then I will bring you to the dock out there. I will have hundreds of candles all over it. And then he shapes us up. Sounds like a fire. It's on water. It's on the water, Hollander. Flax will be beautiful. You will love it. The candles, the lake, the full moon. Oh, is it a clear night? Yes, of course. And I will get on one knee, Ilya, and I will say, Shane Hollander, will you please marry me so I can become Canadian citizen fast? And then they said that's gonna be our plan. And then Shane says, What if we told our friends? My family already knows. What would your best friend Hayden Pike say? Um, he'd probably think I'm kidding, blah blah blah. And then Ilya says, I could maybe extend my say. And Shane says, You can a little, yes, if you'll have me. He says, I do have another hot Russian coming to stay with me in a couple weeks. And Ilya guests, Shane Hollander, you have not even told me that I'm hot before. Shane frowns, I haven't? No, I would remember. And he says, I mean, obviously you're hot. And then he says, uh, come upstairs, you can kiss me and tell me about Ottawa and maybe get me off because I'm fing dying. And then Shane says, only if you beat me. And Ilya laughs, game f on. Oh, that's a great way to end it. I don't know. Maybe maybe the start of season two is we get the um we get the epilogue. I mean, I think we're definitely, I think we're gonna get the Yuna, Yuna and Shane's dad finding out. Maybe we will get the epilogue because it's like they're in the bathroom together, and then Hayden's like, Jesus Christ, this is a public bathroom. Um, and they announce the ill the foundation, the Irena Foundation. That might be that's a good epilogue. And then they're going to meet each other in the hotel room again. Like, that is kind of nice too. I don't know. I trust Jacob Tierney. I do remember, I don't have a source for this, but I remember seeing something that like the ending was different um than it is in the in the book. So I don't know what that means, like how different, but it'll be great. I trust them with my life. Okay, Mafia. I really do. Yeah, it's gonna be lit. And we're gonna watch it together. And we're gonna be together. Once again, I say, God is real. Thank you guys. I I yet again feel better. Well, thanks for listening. Join us next time for an interview with Scott Hunter's new boyfriend. Kip. What's his name? He's doing the hockey podcast. Okay. Alright. Bye.