The Boys Chat Podcast
Welcome to The Boys Chat, a show where we discuss a wide range of topics from everyday life to history and culture. Join us as we share our thoughts, experiences, and opinions on everything from technology, food, family traditions, and world events. With each episode, we explore different themes and dive deep into our personal stories and perspectives, while also seeking to learn from each other and our listeners. We aim to create a fun, informative, and engaging space where everyone is welcome to participate and share their ideas. So whether you're a fan of casual conversations or curious about diverse perspectives, tune in and join the discussion.
The Boys Chat Podcast
The Dad Joke Battle Royale Part 2
Ever wondered if a furry friend could cost more than you bargained for? We candidly discuss the surprising expenses of pet ownership and challenge each other to keep a straight face while delivering some hilarious dad humor. But that's not all - we also take a detour to discuss an intriguing new graveyard on River Road, the rise of China's pandas, and the seemingly innocuous terms and conditions of TikTok. This episode is a blend of hilarious anecdotes, relatable parenting experiences, and unexpected revelations - because who said laughter and learning can't go hand in hand? So, buckle up for this wild ride and prepare to laugh until you cry.
Yo, welcome back everybody. We got Tanner Colby and I'm Baron. We, uh we decided to throw it back a little bit. As uh y'all who have been here from the beginning may know, this is episode 52, meaning that's the one year mark.
Speaker 3:Woo.
Speaker 2:And so, uh, we want to throw it back to, uh, one of our favorites from the past. Uh, dad jokes had some fun with that one. We're gonna be going over another list of some good dad jokes for today and I'll just see if we can get you laugh as you're on your commute or whatever you're doing while you listen to this. Y'all got anything to add.
Speaker 3:Nope, nope. I'm just curious to see if you're turning into a dad yet there, darren, or not. This is official dad joke to not but.
Speaker 2:No, don't have that dad strength yet Runnage. Oh, what was it there? Darren was asking me the other day something about being a dad and I was like, no, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Not ever, or just not right now, not yet.
Speaker 2:Not yet I've had a pregnancy scare, that is. It has your rethink in life?
Speaker 1:How recent.
Speaker 2:It was like two or probably two months into marriage, I think.
Speaker 1:It was either November or something.
Speaker 2:No, it was November. Yeah, how about y'all any scares?
Speaker 3:Nope.
Speaker 2:Still doing good. No, I don't mind that I've had one. I can't remember when that was, but yeah, with it, like fresh after getting married, suddenly you're buying groceries for two, you're paying rent, like all of that, and like I was planning to go out and do sales and everything and I was just like, nope, not, if I'm having a kid with this summer Can't be out knocking doors 12 hours a day. Yeah, it was like a fly. Yeah, I was like I gotta go get a real job, big board job, it was scary.
Speaker 1:Do you guys have a time frame? How is she about it?
Speaker 2:Has she got that fever yet, or I mean, when she's looking at a cute baby, yes, but like in a real sense, no, she wants to be done with school, so we're looking at like another four years or something. Right on, yeah, how about you.
Speaker 1:Well, my niece is two and a half now and so every time we see her she's more interactive, more verbal, and that gets Cam going a lot. She's like oh my gosh, she's so cute, do you want to have one? And I'm like, are you being serious? Because if you're being serious we'll sit down and have a talk and really discuss everything. Or are you just like caught up in it because she's like I want a dog first and then it's this and it's kind of just I'm not sure exactly where it is, if it's just like Hightened because of that or if she's like actually serious.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, I Saw some, or there was some like radio show had a statistic for dogs use like on average, people spend 60,000 more on a dog in the life span of the pet. Then they plan no, yeah, 60,000 total, but like 60,000 more. And I was like, yeah, I don't know, I think like what? Like, I think like having to get like pet friendly apartments and when you travel.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna hotels or pay in a sitter, or like putting them in a whole like dog motel or whatever right part of it, but like that sucks.
Speaker 3:That's a lot. Yeah, animals are not cheap at all.
Speaker 1:Like any kind of animal, yeah, cheap, cheapest one you can get probably go and there they just everything and tear everything out like initially, or upkeep, because we go, you got to have a yard, you got to have a good fence, you got a lot more that goes into it, whereas if you get like a Turtle or like some type of reptile that doesn't eat a ton and what they do eat cheap but then, like, the upfront cost is a lot.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, I was thinking like more of like bigger animals, like dogs and cats and like actual livestock and stuff, but like those little pets. Yeah, those, those little pets are easy and cheap. So I Mean a goldfish doesn't cost you nothing. It costs you 99 cents to pick it up and then your 10 bucks for a bowl of water and Then you forget about it.
Speaker 1:In two weeks later, you got a.
Speaker 3:Technically not.
Speaker 2:But how much is that really?
Speaker 1:I can tell you right now, though, it's cheaper to pee in the sink.
Speaker 3:Save water. It's actually cheaper not to flush every time pee into the toilet anyways but yellow leave a mellow.
Speaker 2:Right on. Well, let's, let's hop into this. Are we gonna say you're trying to keep a straight face like last time, or no?
Speaker 3:Straight face or not laugh. I Say not laugh cuz straight face. I can't keep a straight face the whole time. There's no way.
Speaker 1:Working.
Speaker 2:I got a no pad right here for the score.
Speaker 3:Straight face and you're your points, yeah, probably gonna win.
Speaker 2:Maybe, maybe these get called me.
Speaker 1:No, it was awesome last time.
Speaker 2:Oh, ask me if I got a haircut.
Speaker 1:Jair cut.
Speaker 2:No, I got them all cut I.
Speaker 1:Was gonna laugh, but I was like nope, we're starting out.
Speaker 3:I was curious. I was like, was that an actual joke to start us off, or was that him just being stupid?
Speaker 2:Yes, moving on, my neighbor gave me a new roof for free. He said it was on the house it's.
Speaker 1:Such a good neighbor yeah.
Speaker 3:Tanner, you might not want to be drinking that water while he's telling those jokes will dispute everywhere.
Speaker 1:I'll be fine, I'll be fine. I only got. I only got a little laugh. Oh, there you go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, did I ever tell you the story of when I spewed milk on a zoom call? No, oh, this one deserves to be told. So we would have like in LA we'd have like weekly zoom calls as like, as a zone she's got like well, the 14 missionaries on there, and you know I was Going through some stuff, just found out. Anyways, I was going through some stuff going heavy on the depression cereal. You know how it is and you're John the the dear pregnant. Yeah, oh, that.
Speaker 2:So I lost Tanner. But yeah that, yeah, so getting through that. I'm sitting on this zoom called, just like eating some cereal next to my companion, you know I reach over. I just like have the box sitting next to me on the table, reach over and pour myself another bowl. Then my zone leaders I go there, goes out or salmon eating his third or fourth bowl for the night, and then I like pulled out my phone and I texted him and I was like bro, this really is my fourth bowl. And then he was sharing his screen on the zoom call and it just popped up in front of everybody.
Speaker 2:Look across the whole table. Oh, I Probably wasn't wearing pants. I like duck out a screen and I'm just crying and then I go and I'm like mopping everything up.
Speaker 3:Only you there, only man.
Speaker 2:It was so bad. He was like I'm not surprised moving on.
Speaker 1:Oh, what's up with you in spewing things bro?
Speaker 2:All right, where were we? Did you hear about a teenager who failed his driving test? He thought it was a crash course. There you go, good one, and where the surfers learned us, or yeah, where the surfers learn to surf surf shop?
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Speaker 2:Boarding school.
Speaker 1:Clever Very clever.
Speaker 2:Duck walks into a bar and buys everyone around. He tells the bartender, put it on my bill.
Speaker 3:There you go. I was wondering if a Duck Duck goose joke was going to slide into the shop of that one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, one of my favorites is a Roman soldier walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says five beers please.
Speaker 1:That's a good one. There you go the Roman Empire. Back at it again. Here's your daily dose of the Roman Empire.
Speaker 2:Daily dose. In case you're missing it, here's your daily thought. How did the Vikings communicate with each other? Norse code.
Speaker 1:Norse code there you go, let's go.
Speaker 2:Oh, I was reading Ben Franklin's journal the other day about how he felt after he discovered electricity. He was shocked.
Speaker 3:I'm sure there's a big surprise for him.
Speaker 2:Real soccer. What do rabbits need after they get out of the shower?
Speaker 2:Very dry air. And what kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers. There you go. Why did the bed wear a disguise? Why, because it was undercover. Oh, that makes sense. This one kills you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This one killed me when I was reading it. I've got like a crochet night going on in my living room right now and I told them all and I was crying, laughing over it, poor guy. Yeah, I was stringing up a lacrosse stick last week when I had one, I saw that. There you go. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
Speaker 1:I know what a disappointment.
Speaker 2:A stick Colby's about to lose it.
Speaker 1:Colby's about to lose it. I'm only going to lose it because of Darren.
Speaker 3:Because the way he thinks it's so funny it's a stick Shit. That's a good one.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry. That's a good one. It's so stupid.
Speaker 3:I love how much he thinks this is so freaking funny.
Speaker 1:Seriously.
Speaker 2:That is probably my new favorite dad joke. Oh my gosh, yes. Why was the Incredible Hulk so good at gardening? Because he's got a green thumb.
Speaker 3:Makes sense that checks out.
Speaker 2:What kind of music does a boulder like Rock, rock, rock and roll? Why did the elephant quit his job? He was working for peanuts. What's the best kind of music to listen to when you're fishing? What I don't know, but something catchy.
Speaker 3:There you go, thank you.
Speaker 2:That's why I don't fish.
Speaker 3:No, no taste in music.
Speaker 2:No, I got taste in music I just don't got taste in fishing. Yeah, I just, I don't know, I'd rather skip rocks, you know? Yeah, like if you're just sitting on the edge of a lake, throw rocks, yeah. Men, that wasn't even a dad joke, that was just me, real idol, I know, I know.
Speaker 1:Real idol. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
Speaker 2:I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I'm not bad. I was going to say it was on sale.
Speaker 3:That makes more sense.
Speaker 2:I know why did dad take an extra pair of socks when they golf?
Speaker 1:They get a hole in one Bout.
Speaker 2:Yes, what do you call a fish with no eyes?
Speaker 1:Did you get that one, Colby? I got that one. Oh okay, it kind of looked like you were hesitant for a second and then you saw like a smile and you're like, oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh, I got it. I'm not completely stupid, I'm just making sure.
Speaker 2:You'd never be too safe. What do you call a snake that loves building houses? What A boa, constructor. And uh, where do fish keep their money? A sea bank, yeah. A river bank, it's safer. Uh, where, uh? Or why didn't the snowman ask the snow woman to the dance?
Speaker 3:didn't have any snowballs.
Speaker 2:I don't know yeah, I didn't have snowballs. I like how many of the ones I'm trying to come up with on the spot, y'all already figure out.
Speaker 1:It's all the ones I'm reading that you can't guess what the fish say when it hit the wall damn what the fisherman say when he saw the fish poop faster.
Speaker 2:There you go that's a good one. I love Utah jokes why did the man put his money in the freezer? You want a cold, hard cash there you go oh, have you guys seen the uh, the new graveyard they're putting in down on the south end of river road?
Speaker 3:I have no idea oh yeah.
Speaker 2:So like you go down just past the construction lot, it's like it's super popular, everyone's dying to get in there.
Speaker 1:I knew that was coming.
Speaker 2:I always be too, yeah yeah, there's no new uh, new, uh graveyard. That's just where my dad goes to bury the cats that our dog kills. Yeah, did I ever tell you guys what I told? I went around calling Max curiosity for a year after he killed a new cat. Curiosity killed the cat oh that's funny curiosity, hey, and then he'd be like wagging his tail and everything, and Alex was like what are you calling him that? I was, like it's curiosity, killed the cat oh science jokes. Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Speaker 1:because they make up everything.
Speaker 2:It's true what do a tick in the Eiffel Tower have in common? They're both parasites, not bad. I never had one. I don't mess up why did the man get fired from the banana factory?
Speaker 3:he kept throwing away the bent ones don't lose it, tanner, just don't lose it that's a good one some of them came back.
Speaker 2:The rest were stakes. Whoever stole my depression medication? I hope you're happy now. Nice Tanner's dying on that one because he's going to use it down the road. Oh yeah, I saw him take it out one way. I was like he's pulling it out that doesn't come out of. Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1:I'll make a toast nice, let's see.
Speaker 2:What do you call a kangaroo's lazy joey? A pouch potato here you go what did the llama say to his date? Want to go on a picnic. I'll pack a lunch.
Speaker 3:There you go.
Speaker 2:Which is faster hot or cold. Hot why, I don't know, because you can catch a cold.
Speaker 1:There you go. I thought we were going to our science show.
Speaker 2:What bear is the most condescending? The panda.
Speaker 1:Side note did you guys know that China took all the pandas back from all the zoos?
Speaker 3:Blow, blow. They're a bunch of communists, it's fine.
Speaker 1:They're listening right now. Calm down, Colby. No, that's Russia. They're probably watching you. They're listening to you through TikTok. They got all your information, Probably.
Speaker 2:Yo, joe Rogan read the terms and conditions of TikTok and was picking it apart and he's like freak. We all signed that or agreed to that. What kind of noise does a witch's broom make? Forget, I said that. Which kind of noise does a witch's vehicle make?
Speaker 1:Broom, broom.
Speaker 2:The delivery on that one. Come on, dude.
Speaker 1:It's just like a good mailman joke. It's all about the delivery, all about it.
Speaker 2:There you go, singing in the showers, all fun and games, until you get soap in your mouth, done as a soap opera.
Speaker 3:Soap operas are freaking awful Like. Have you guys ever sat down and like watched one for like five minutes, or been at the gym and seen it on the TV?
Speaker 1:They're freaking awful. Not the gym part, but yes.
Speaker 3:They're always on at the gym. I don't care what gym you go to, there's only one on Like a hotel gym Definitely. Yeah, like there's always one on at Vasa Toph.
Speaker 2:Oh, have you guys seen the video? It's like, oh, what's it called? It's like a Spanish soap opera, but it's called like don des la biblioteca or something like that, I don't know. It's like called something super simple in Spanish and all they do is say like the basic, like 10 lines that you learn in like beginner Spanish class, so like anyone can understand it, but they like say it with all the drama or whatever. I don't know. It was funny. How does the moon cut his hair?
Speaker 3:Eclipse it.
Speaker 2:Eclipse it Come on. Darren Sorry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, come on.
Speaker 2:What do you call a factory that makes just okay products?
Speaker 3:Satisfactory.
Speaker 2:That's a satisfactory. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? I'm gay.
Speaker 1:The flies.
Speaker 2:And both of you and I was like I have to now. Oh, that's bad. What do bees have sticky hair? Why, because they use a honeycomb yeah.
Speaker 3:I'll get you yeah, speaking of honey, did you guys know that I started this new diet? I want to see food diet. When I see food, you eat it yeah, it's probably true for you, colby.
Speaker 2:No, yeah. I forgot dude got nothing to be afraid of, yeah right now I don't seriously. I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus, but geometry is where I draw the line shapes man. I love shapes, some colors communication major she's. She minored in English there's some kid on the cross team and he's a comms major and he makes those jokes before we cancel hey man, my boss is a comms.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's a bachelor's in comms and he makes very, very good it doesn't use his degree, but he still is one all right, all right.
Speaker 2:It's more of a confidence boost than anything. What has five toes and isn't your foot?
Speaker 1:Colby's foot yeah, really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's my foot, but yeah, oh, my god it. What did the cannibal choose as his last meal? Five guys. If you had to guess, what would you say is Justin's favorite kind of music?
Speaker 3:like your dad, yeah like classic rock of some sort, hip hop pop, it's pop, it's got to be hip hop oh.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna see him on.
Speaker 1:Wednesday oh nice. He's probably one of the funniest guys I know. Every time I see him he cracks me up nice. Colby, that reminded me. Darren. Say another joke once I get okay go to bed.
Speaker 2:The cows are already asleep in the field. Son what he didn't even wait for the path for the punchline it's past your bed time.
Speaker 1:Go to bed.
Speaker 2:I'm already asleep in the field. It's past your bed time. What do you call a French man in sandals? What, felipe falope?
Speaker 3:nice, there you go.
Speaker 2:I bought the world's worst, the SARS yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
Speaker 1:It's a good one.
Speaker 2:What do the sink tell the toilet?
Speaker 3:You look flushed.
Speaker 2:Yeah. What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? What?
Speaker 3:Snow, snowstorm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my extra winter weight is finally gone. Now I have spring rolls there, you go. And when does a joke become a dad joke?
Speaker 1:When it becomes apparent.
Speaker 2:That's the criteria, nice Well, do you guys have any others?
Speaker 3:No, no. I'm terrible with dad jokes, remembering them after I hear them.
Speaker 2:I feel like they happen best in the moment, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:That's when they land too. I mean as much as a dad joke can land. You know how it is. Yeah, right on. Well, if anybody in the comments are watching this, if you want to get in the comments, share your favorite dad joke with us. Let us know which ones got you. The bar is pretty high. We do have a boomerang. That's just a stick, so the bar is up there. If you can beat it, let us know in the chat. This is Darren. I've got Colby and Tanner with me and I'm going to leave you with one last dad joke to a stew on what happens when you mix a dad joke with a rhetorical question.
Speaker 3:Got it, got it.
Speaker 1:I'm going to let this faster for a second.
Speaker 2:Alright, see you next time.