#39: Moving through Emotional Triggers

It's been a hot minute since I have had an intimate convo with you!

This is what I would call a raw, unedited heart-to-heart episode where I just jump on the mic without any prep to share my unfiltered thoughts, reflections, and noticings in my personal life, and from my clients' journeys.

In this episode, I will be talking to you about emotional triggers. Whether we become triggered by money, social media, or maybe our hormones are making us a bit more volatile- there is a lot to be gained when we lean in.

I also chat about my not-so-great relationship with social media as an online business owner, and how I am navigating this in a trauma-informed way.

Toward the end, I share how I just saved myself $1,300 through somatic release exercises and coaching myself using the 8 Money Archetypes.


Thanks for listening and lots of love!

❤️ Nadine


Mentioned:

Episode #29: Healing with The Eight Money Archetypes
Episode #37: Menstrual Magic w/ Rachel Root

Wild Power: Discover the Magic of Your Menstrual Cycle and Awaken the Feminine Path to Power  by Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer and Alexandra Pope

Thank you for being here ❤️

Join my 6-month program, Create Fulfilling Abundance.
Learn more and apply here: https://www.saveamillioncents.com/cfa

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💝 To receive your FREE Money Archetype Workbook, complete this form



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~Podcast theme song by The Jilted Irony

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hello, hello, welcome back to the Money Healing Podcast. I'm your host, nadine Zalmont. So it's been a while since you and I have had a little tete-ete, a little chit-chat. The past few episodes were pretty good, I might I say interviews. There was one about emotional eating and people pleasing, and then one on menstrual magic, and then last week's episode was all about navigating burnout and the nervous system and how we navigate living in a broken system with my friend, amanda. So I hope you got a chance to check out these episodes. I personally feel like they were pretty brilliant and I guess, with the download rate, I think that you guys enjoyed them too. No, I mean, there's a little bit of an update about my life.

Speaker 1: 0:57

The past week I spent, well, 10 days I spent in New York. That was really fun. It was such a cool experience because the last time I was in New York was back in 2015, and that was my first taste of the US. I had to wait for 35 years. I mean, I grew up in Jordan and we grew up with all the music and the TV shows and the movies that were very Americanized. So my favorite bands were Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains and all of these American bands. So going or coming to America was like whoa, this is like a big thing, but unfortunately, as an Arab at the time, it was very, very difficult to get a visa, so I waited until I was 35.

Speaker 1: 1:49

Once, as soon as I got my Australian citizenship, I applied to come to America for a three-week trip for my 35th birthday. It was a pretty, pretty epic holiday, I must say so. I was there for three weeks and it started off in New York, and being back in New York a couple of weeks ago, I can't even remember what the dates are. So today's the 18th, so I was there 10 days ago, is that right? No, anyway, it doesn't matter. Being back there at this time in my life and reflecting back on who I was in 2015 was such a big deal for me. Visiting places that I went at the time and who I was and who I am now, and, oh my God, it was such an emotional experience in a good way. I also got to meet with three people that I interact with online all the time. We're actually really good friends that we met online and never met in person, and that was pretty freaking, epic. It's so amazing when the energy, the online energy translates exactly or even better, in person. So that was pretty cool. I also oh my God, I might just tear up talking about this I also, very coincidentally, thank you On Instagram.

Speaker 1: 3:11

I got to catch up with my oldest, oldest, oldest friend ever. So my friend and I, we were friends since we were like three or four. Our mothers were best friends. So, back in Jordan and myself, my sister herself and her sister, we were always together all the time and my happiest, happiest memories were always at their house. And you know, when you read a novel and you, you know the whoever is narrating is like describing a house. I've always, every single time I read a novel, oh my life, I always imagined their house. And then we lost touch. Life happened and we lost touch and recently we found each other on Instagram and, out of the blue, I asked her. I was like where are you? She said, oh, I'm in New York. I'm like no way, I'm going to be there in two weeks. So we made it happen, we met we. Oh gosh, it was just so emotional, it was beautiful, so I'm really grateful for that.

Speaker 1: 4:15

Anyway, I hit the ground running as soon as I got back here in Albuquerque. I am finishing up with this cohort, this round of Create, fulfilling Abundance my signature program and I'm preparing space for the new cohort. I'm just revamping things. So I got feedback from the ladies in the current cohort that it would be nice if there was an app to access the course and the program. So I found a really cool platform that provides an app. So that is something that's so, so, so exciting. Also, before heading out to New York, I got to renew my branding. So I've got brand new branding that you will get to see inside of the next round of CFA. And the funny enough, my branding person, kath Grimmett of Grimm Designs, is actually one of the people that I got to meet in person for the first time in New York. And boy have we had such a weird Airbnb experience. I might talk about that one day later on, but that was truly a bonding experience, let's just put it that way.

Speaker 1: 5:27

So I also broke down some of the modules so that you can access the introductory modules. Now, I know, because we're going to start in January, but accessing the introductory modules will really, really help you kind of dislike, have a place to think about things and prepare you for what's coming in CFA, so I'll be teaching you in these introductory modules or the foundational modules, let's call them. I haven't decided yet Setting up your bucket system for your finances, and I also included a step-by-step process on how to do that for your business finances as well, and I'm also including a module on the eight-money archetypes just to ease you in. And then money wounds and money in the nervous system, and then there's this awesome module on how to care and maintain your nervous system on a daily basis. So that's a very exciting thing for me and for you all. I can't wait to see you in there.

Speaker 1: 6:32

On a personal note well, actually it's a business note my kryptonite these days has been, or my achilles heel, if you don't know what kryptonite is. It's like my rough spot has been Instagram. To be honest, like I never really got into it to begin with, like I'm way flowier via podcast when I'm guest speaking. But Instagram has always been foreign for me and I kind of get into the groove of it sometimes and sometimes I don't, but lately it's just been weird and I'm not the only person saying this.

Speaker 1: 7:09

But like I would post, I would put something out there and it won't be seen, because when you have a business account, you can see, look at the insights for your post and it tells you how many accounts it reached, how many people saw it, how many people didn't see it, whatever. And it just keeps at zero all the time, or like three or four, and I've got a pretty big number of and I hate that word but followers like I've got a big community on Instagram, so it's really odd. I wonder if it's because I use the word money, maybe Instagram is scared that I'm scamming people, even though that's really not my intention at all. So I wonder what it is. But what is really bothering me is how I'm taking it, and I do believe that sometimes the universe gives you what you need, not what you want. And I wonder what this all is teaching me, because so in the past, when something wouldn't perform well on Instagram, I would go into this like, really like small, like I feel really small. If you want, you can call it like a dorsal or a free state in the nervous system, speak, but like I feel really small and I feel like I'm, you know, it just like hits me in my core wounds.

Speaker 1: 8:31

But lately, when things don't improve or like don't go well on Instagram. It's kind of making me really frustrated and angry, which is, to be honest, an improvement, right. Like even in personal development world, normally, you know. You know being angry is not like where you want to be. But when you look at the polyvagal ladder, like I do, a lot, of, a lot of my work is informed by the polyvagal theory by Dr Stephen Porges and it basically just teaches you how to look at your life and your reactions and your actions and behaviors through the lens of the nervous system.

Speaker 1: 9:09

So when we look at what's happening with me and Instagram from the lens of the nervous system, so before, when something wouldn't perform, I would feel like death, right. Like feel like, oh my God, I just want to go to bed. So that's like not a freeze even, that's more like a dorsal collapse. And now it's making me angry and frustrated, which is a fight. And when we look at the polyvagal ladder, the fight is a couple of steps lower than being in a regulated state. So you go by steps. So if I go, I no longer go all the way down the ladder, which is kind of hard to get out of, I just go into fight, which is really a big win right. So being mobilized and being able to express feelings about it, like even if it's anger, is not a bad thing. It's actually a very big improvement, and when I posted about that on Instagram, one of my mentors was like yes, I understand, I'm very proud of you. Being in fight mode about it is way better than being in dorsal.

Speaker 1: 10:12

So the thing is, the thing is, with Instagram and this whole story and why I'm sharing it is it's not a lack of cleverness or it's not that I'm not smart or like I don't have information or education around marketing or any of that. I thought it was, and I have invested maybe 35 to 40 grand, maybe more, even throughout the lifetime of my business, just to learn marketing and just to learn about Instagram and to learn about how to do all these things, because I am a good coach but I don't know anything about business, right, they're two very different things, and so what I'm trying to say is that I have the information, I have the knowledge, but the knowledge is not being applied in my day to day life, meaning, I have the knowledge but I don't see the results, and I guess that maybe I might could remind you of something when you have read all the finance books, when you've read all of manifestation books, however, you don't see the results in your day to day life, and that is when we ask ourselves, instead of what else do I need to do? It is the question becomes what do I need to heal? Okay, so the question changes from what else do I need to acquire or consume to what do I need to heal when we have all the information but we don't see the results? Okay, so, that is something I'm pretty sure you've heard me talk about before, but when we have wounding around money, for example, and for me, instagram being visible, that is what happens. We cannot act on the information that we have in our brain. And this is not a beliefs issue, this is not a mindset issue. This is an issue of Releasing past wounding. Okay, so I suspect and I'm going to be unpacking it with my own Mentor, but I suspect what is happening for me is my lack of performance, or, like my not great performance on Instagram and PS.

Speaker 1: 12:20

I'm really grateful to say that Instagram has nothing, nothing, nothing to do with my income. Like, my Poor performance on Instagram is not impacting my income and I'm very grateful for that, and it kind of makes me want to tell you if you are only relying on the algorithm for your income, please start looking at other ways to bring in People to to see your work, to get eyes on your work, because we can't rely on something so finicky and so outside of us for our well-being and for Our most importantly like our impact and our message to be heard by whoever needs to hear it. Okay, so where was I? Oh, my goodness, I lost my trend of thought. Okay, so my Instagram or my visibility wounding that's what it is. Yes, so I believe that might go back to the eighth grade.

Speaker 1: 13:22

So in the eighth grade I Acquired a boyfriend. I met him once or twice, maybe even, but I went to an old all girls Catholic school and then someone caught wind that I had this like boyfriend, that even was so cute that he was on some kind of like commercial, and Everybody started teasing me. Everybody at school started teasing me and I was. Then it went from teasing to really bad bullying and it was very, very difficult and unsafe for me to even speak up in class and that I think I took that with me and it affected me in the early radio days when I was a radio DJ and it didn't affect me as much until now, for some reason, instagram-wise. So it's like all these like ruminations of like oh what if I say the wrong thing? What if? What people think of me? And what if people see that my Instagram is not great? Will they make fun of me? And that is not the thought process of a 42 year old. That is a very teenage way of thinking, which makes me feel like it could go back to this.

Speaker 1: 14:35

But when I work with my mentor, I can do that on my own, but sometimes, when it's so like, when it cuts so deep, I personally like to do it with my mentor, and that's what I tell my clients all the time. Yes, you have the power and the tools to do your money work, but it is way more effective when someone is holding the mirror up for you and guiding you. So that is definitely something that I don't want to do on my own, and I have an amazing mentor cat. I love you. That is definitely going to be supporting me through this and I do suspect that it goes back to the eighth grade. So all of this to say that it's not a belief thing, it's not like me needing to say, like I believe that I am worthy of like blah, blah, blah Instagram followers, all that bullshit. And it's the same with money. It's not about a belief that you are worthy of money, it's about releasing the wounding that is coming in between you and what you want.

Speaker 1: 15:30

Okay, so that is something that's been on my heart these days, and the other thing I really want to talk about is the episode I believe it's episode number 37, menstrual magic with Rachel Root. Out of all the episodes or the interviews that I've recorded for this podcast, that episode hit me so, so deeply and it really changed my life. I ended up getting the book Wild, wild Power by Alexandra Pope and Sharni I can't remember her name, but I will reference it in the show notes and I, you know, sometimes we say things are life changing. This is like severely, it just like upside down my life in the best way possible. I I don't know about you, but I love understanding myself and I guess you do too, because you all love the money architect quiz but understanding your behaviors, if you are somebody who menstruates, understanding your behaviors from the lens of your menstrual cycles and how your your menstruation affects your nervous system and also your moods. And even, like I went, I took it a step deeper, because I don't know if you know, but I'm a money nerd, ha ha. I took it a step deeper and I started examining my behaviors with money according to where I am with my cycle. Oh my God, like my creativity has changed. My spending has changed. Everything has been just so, oh my God, so awesome and so different. And I really recommend, if you are somebody who bleeds, to get this book. And I mean, don't be surprised if in three or four years, I like changed my, my expertise to menstrual awareness or any of that, because it is that profound. So I am sure that you're curious about how I'm finding my spending habits or my relationship with money changing with my menstrual cycle.

Speaker 1: 17:36

So what I'm finding is very interesting is that, personally, for me, around just before I bleed, I start feeling angry and frustrated. So it's just like angry, volatile, irritated, quickly craving sweets, craving all that stuff, and what I found is that in that time, I have this insatiable desire to spend money, like I would go on my Amazon app and I want to just buy everything that's on my wait, like on my save for later cart, you know, like, oh my god, everything, and sometimes it's not time for it, you know, so right now we're saving for a car, we're saving for a house and we're saving for a couple of trips, and it's not time for me to buy the things, these really cool gadgets that I have on my Amazon cart. But, like just a few minutes ago, I was like, yeah, fuck it, just hit send and I'm like no, no, no, I understand that it's coming from anger and frustration and that's typically not a very good place to make any decisions, especially financial, especially when you have all these like financial priorities, like buying a car, buying a home. That's kind of like a million dollar goal. So you know, it's a nice big goal. So I always say, when you do, when you make decisions, especially when it comes to financial decisions, make sure that you have access, or you make these decisions from your warrior and your magician.

Speaker 1: 19:09

Okay, so if you don't know what I mean by that, I would say to go back and look at episode oh my god, number 29, about healing with the eight money archetypes, so you'll know what I mean. But yeah, nutshell, your warrior and magician, money archetypes are the parts of you that are, like you know, level-headed, balanced and practical that you, you know, I would hope that you created your spending plan or your budget from that warrior energy of balance, not from the tyrant energy of restriction and like, ooh, you know, tight acid, tight acidness. So when we're talking about the warrior energy, when it comes to money, it's like that balance, level-headed energy. And when we're talking about the magician, it's that part of you that's like trusting and wise. So accessing the warrior, magician energy when we make financial decisions is the best practice.

Speaker 1: 20:11

So when I'm finding myself angry and frustrated, I don't inflict discipline to stop myself from buying. I do not do that. So let me break it down for you archetype-wise. And again, if this is confusing, go back to episode number 20. Oh, my God, 29.

Speaker 1: 20:30

Okay, so what happens is that I get angry and I get frustrated and my full archetypes the part of me that just says fuck it, yolo, let's just fucking do it comes online. So usually, when we have a high full archetype, what we need to do is put space between us and the financial action. So what I do is that I put my phone down and I just took myself to the kitchen. I had a glass of water and I realized it's my body. My body feels angry and frustrated. So I did somatic release exercises, which I will be teaching you in CFA. I did somatic release exercises to let go of not let go, but to kind of like release that pent up energy and frustration and get myself to a regulated place in my nervous system so that I can access my warrior and magician. Okay, so, never make a decision from that cloudy energy and think about it not as a discipline thing, but like as a physiological thing and what your body needs.

Speaker 1: 21:35

So for me, at this current point, I released my anger through doing, first I did 20 minutes of like HIIT workout, so high intensity interval training. I did lots of kicking, I did lots of like burpees and fuck yeah, it felt so freaking good. And then I did 30 minutes of YIN yoga, which was just perfect and there's no like magic recipe for these things. And with time and I will teach you all of this, don't worry in the end, cfa, with time you will understand what your body needs and you will give your body what it needs, not what your brain thinks it needs. Okay, so sometimes when I'm angry, I need to meditate, but this particular time I needed to release that energy and to then do some YIN gentle YIN movement afterwards. And now I'm way more level headed and I'm looking at my cards, my Amazon cards, and I'm like, actually, one of those things is quite important for me to get for work and I'm going to wait for Black Friday to get it and that feels really good for me, it feels really good on my nervous system and I feel so proud of it that I'm sharing it with you guys. Anyway, so just reminding you that there is a form in the show notes where you can do some contact me. You can fill out the form you don't even need to put your name in, it's optional and just suggest topics or themes that you would like for me to talk about on this podcast.

Speaker 1: 23:09

I really want to thank every single one of you for your loyalty to this show, for your love, your appreciation, your Amazon sorry, apple reviews, your emails, all the things that you like, the thank you notes that you shower me with. Thank you so much. It is. This show is not about me. This show is about you and for you, and I just want to see you thrive. I just want to see you go past survival, because you do deserve to thrive. You do deserve to have the wildest fuck yeah life of your dreams. With that, I am going to love you and leave you for now. I will see you all next time. Bye for now.