Ep. 107 Employee of the Month

End song: Cannibalism! by Slayyyter

Transcript

SPEAKER_07 0:01

I gotta get muggaging. That's odd. Essential staff, bro. Essential. Essential manager at a Burger King. I'm gonna get a Luggaging. The fifth line of response. You dirty fucking I'm gonna have to hold it now.

SPEAKER_06 0:15

This makes me so angry. You just can't do it like I do.

SPEAKER_07 0:19

I have an exact same spot you have it, and it didn't work. It didn't work. Anyway, folks, this is UTH podcast, Ryan. I'm holding my mic. So if you hear me start getting heated and angry, it's because of the difficulties with the tech, not with the Jeez! Yeah, there it goes. I wonder how bad this is gonna sound.

SPEAKER_05 0:39

How bad this is gonna hurt.

SPEAKER_07 0:48

Yep, that's bad. That was bad.

SPEAKER_06 0:50

That one's for you, folks.

SPEAKER_07 0:51

That one's for you. We're keeping that one in. So when you have this, like, I really can't ever hear Ryan and Nate or something. If you're listening to this now, make sure you turn the volume down. But anyway, you know what it is, folks. You teach podcasts, Ryan and Nate. Yeah, we up out of here. We up in here. We up out of here. We up in here. We up out of here. I gotta do it, baby. Get your No, but um Yeah, Nate was swindled by uh Wi-Fi Dracula.

SPEAKER_06 1:18

Uh it seems like I'm getting swindled. Yeah, I mean I don't know, dude. You might need to talk to a Wi-Fi Dracula.

SPEAKER_07 1:22

They're always in the neighborhood. I don't know why they're always walking around and that they like when I was living here, they were oh every other day. It was either selling me solar panels or internet.

SPEAKER_05 1:31

No, a shitload of people do be wal like roaming the streets talking their wares, dude.

SPEAKER_06 1:34

Talking the wear. And did you say please come in? Um Or did he did you make a gesture?

SPEAKER_05 1:43

I walked out I walked outside and uh I'm like talking to these two dudes, and like I have a sweatshirt on completely naked. I have a sweatshirt on no shoes, and it's like fucking 12 degrees outside. Yeah, no shoes outside is crazy. So like after a little bit, I was just like, dude, can we just like just come inside? And then uh So you didn't invite him in.

SPEAKER_06 1:59

You did invite him.

SPEAKER_07 2:01

I'll be honest, what a man for the sale though. Because I'm not sure I would go inside. You never know. Then I was thinking like you could be the vampire.

SPEAKER_05 2:11

Yeah, I really should start just like have him like sit down, like as like a pour myself a glass of bourbon and like load a gun. Cleaning your gun, cleaning your tell me about your whale now. So now how fast will it go?

SPEAKER_07 2:26

And he'll think twice. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Now if I I've been wrong before how you travel and cycles on that. Yeah, I've been wrong many a time. I only clean my gun loaded. It just gets a better clean.

SPEAKER_05 2:39

I want to feel the weight. Should have worked something out with like Faith, where like you should be like banging on like the uh the basement door. Everybody's like, quickly in that box, the serum! There's no time, boy! Damir, quickly! Oh my god, it's off close. I need you to sign this contract before I before I inject the stereo. There's no time, I'll sign your contract. Wherever you need, whatever you need.

SPEAKER_07 3:01

Quickly, boy. Quickly, the eye of rock. They're like, oh, I think I need to go. And then call the police because they think you have someone locked in the basement.

SPEAKER_06 3:09

And then they show up and nobody's gonna be able to. And no one's locked in the basement.

SPEAKER_07 3:14

Then you're on the watch list, then you're on the watch list. Yeah, it's an empty shell of a house, yeah. Yeah. Except for you just sitting on the floor.

SPEAKER_05 3:24

Yeah, except for the origami crane in the center of the. Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_06 3:30

What could it mean? You think that a dude would ever investigate or just live out his life wandering?

SPEAKER_07 3:36

The cop or the guy?

SPEAKER_06 3:38

The guy.

SPEAKER_07 3:39

I don't like he's not coming back ever. If you start if someone starts to bang.

SPEAKER_06 3:43

Cobb didn't wasn't there in the first part.

SPEAKER_07 3:45

Yeah, cop would be like, dude, like I'm I don't know what you're talking about now, but it's not like that.

SPEAKER_06 3:49

The cop would also need to come back to have that whole ordeal happen and then come back to an origami grain.

SPEAKER_07 3:57

I need backup, backup now! Yeah, I don't know. That's it. And like I do think a lot of people are. Like, you know how many like vloggers are like pranking the cops nowadays and stuff?

SPEAKER_06 4:07

Yeah, I don't really agree with that.

SPEAKER_07 4:09

And just such an easy way to get shot. Easy way to get arrested playing with police. Because police are on edge.

SPEAKER_05 4:16

Yeah, I mean police, wasn't there that one fucking dude who was uh doing that shit on like in like a mall or whatever, and just like to the wrong guy, and then he got like fucking shot in the stomach or something.

SPEAKER_07 4:26

What the guy who's pretending to be a zombie?

SPEAKER_06 4:28

No, I think he was just like uh He's like, hey dude, I want to kiss you or something. Yeah, just like the dude. Just some random guy.

SPEAKER_05 4:34

Like the shit you would do, like, you know, when you were in like high school at the mall where you'd just be obnoxious as fuck, except like the people do that for for profit now. Yeah, for fame and profit, for money, bro.

SPEAKER_07 4:44

That is the problem, is that with how good mics and cameras have gotten, people are just like everything is just man on the street pranks. I was just watching one on Instagram.

SPEAKER_05 4:54

Yeah, yeah, but the thing is, dude, they're like there's maybe like five people on earth who can do the random people pranks, bro, and all those people are they're celebrities and professional comedians.

SPEAKER_07 5:04

Most people are not funny, dude. Like you can't just be. I don't know. I'm not sure people go around. Professional thinking they Eric Andre, bro. Thinking the impractical jokers, the sex pest guys, like no, I think the the funniest ones are hood teenagers. Let me tell you, because some of their ones are funny. When cause when you're just clowning somebody's dad, and you and like all he's doing is just rage-bating them, getting him angry. Some of that is funny. Like, I was just seeing this guy. He had to be in a different country. It must have been some Spanish country. He was a very dark-skinned Dominican guy though, because he spoke fluent Spanish and didn't look quite like black. But he would like he would kind of be like walking down the street, and then he would like quick motion to like look like he was going at somebody who was crossing the street, but instead he's just like undoing a padlock then. He got knives pulled on him like so many times. And I'm like, dude, like after the first one, I'm like, this prank isn't funny anymore. But it was like a compilation of how many guns and knives he got pulled on him. And I'm like, dude, this guy's like that's true violence. Like that's that's what it's become. That's the new Eric Andre is Eric Andre is the Mickey 17. Just watched that movie not too long ago, and he gets killed and gets reprinted. Pranks where he gets killed. Mickey 17 pranks of just yeah, getting fucking your head shot. Yeah, shot. Every time I do this skin, I get killed, and I come back.

SPEAKER_06 6:29

Like this is a weird voice that he does for that movie.

SPEAKER_07 6:32

I movie, I like the concept. Yeah. Movie was good up until Mickey 18 comes. Mickey 18's so mean for no reason. He's weirdly mean. Like, why'd he get mean at 18? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I guess, you know, the duplexity of man, once you turn 18, you become a monster.

SPEAKER_06 6:48

Well, you die 18 times. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 6:51

You said thank you for the dinner. And he's like, you just so mad. He was like weirdly autistic.

SPEAKER_06 6:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 6:59

Yeah, he was like, and well, the other one was, you know, was likably autistic. But then Mickey 18 is just a dickhead. I feel so bad for Mickey 17. He fucked his bitch and then was like getting angry at him. I'm like, dude, you get mad at me. We're the same guy. They are. They are the same guy. But I also like the have you seen Mickey 18? It's on Amazon. I did see it. I did see it. It's alright. Mickey 17.

SPEAKER_05 7:24

It was not the movie I thought it was gonna be, especially.

SPEAKER_07 7:26

It was like I don't know what's going on. Yeah, well, talking to the bugs was wild. But that's what it would be though. I do like that angle where they're like, just because they're animal bugs, they are aliens. Yeah, that doesn't mean they're stupid, you know. I just couldn't take the caricature of Donald Trump that guy was supposed to be.

SPEAKER_06 7:41

I don't like I didn't like that either. And it's not for nothing other than it was just bad acting. But I think he's a good actor.

SPEAKER_07 7:51

He's a great actor, but he just like it was too on the nose this guy's trying to be Donald Trump. He should have been an idiot that his wife was controlling the whole time.

SPEAKER_06 8:00

And I thought that was kind of what it was.

SPEAKER_07 8:02

It was, but it wasn't. And like you are right though, to do satire right. Like you can't be too. He was just playing like he kind of looked like Donald Trump. Yeah. He just was Donald Trump. He even talked like, yes, it's gonna be a great military. I I should be there. You're right. Yeah, yeah. Like you could you could do it in a satirical way. Why his aide had snake bites? And why would like you're going to space travel, bro? You had a it's limited weight.

SPEAKER_05 8:30

Yeah. Chalking it up to future stuff, dude. Future times. Future times. This is a marathon time.

SPEAKER_07 8:35

Yeah, I guess tattoos are more socially acceptable. So will the snake bites. Snake bites when they were. That's passed. That's peak. It's gone. That's what I mean. No. They're going back to a professional setting. Next thing you know, you want to have like a lawyer with like snake bites and gauges. If my lawyer rolls up with snake gauges, I've noticed more normies have gauges. I'm kind of tired of it. I'm not sure if it's just they had gauges as teenagers, never got rid of them, and now their normies are in gauges. Sometimes you can't get rid of them. You got rid of yours. Well, because mine were never that big. Yeah, it's the normie ones who have them are about like no bigger than quarter sizes. Like the size of a quarter. That don't go back. I guess not. I think that's the point of like no return. You gotta get the clip and roll, which I heard sucks. Yeah, I don't think that's fun. I'm sure that's not fun either. But yeah, the gauges, I have not noticed snake bites coming back. Those I think are a dead. That's a dead art. I wouldn't mind them coming back. I wouldn't mind. I I think more freaks should be outwardly freaks. Too late in a relationship with a person, do you find out they're a freak?

SPEAKER_05 9:39

Uh well, I was gonna say, I feel like snake bites are like the Mickey 17 of um of you know piercing, dude. It's just not long for this world.

SPEAKER_07 9:47

If you had the snake bites, you you're not long for this. You're not long for this world. That's fair. That's just like the eyebrow piercing, bro. I think if you would have kept the eyebrow piercing, you'd be you would be already dead. You'd be in the ground. My eyebrow had to live for like a lamp. And after the bathroom. Lip, you might have lived a live a little bit longer. You'd still be with us, but you wouldn't be thriving.

SPEAKER_05 10:06

You wouldn't be doing well.

SPEAKER_07 10:07

You wouldn't be doing well, no. You would be living just in this basement. The rest of the house with limits cemented in. You'd have to come in through like the basement window. Yeah, but that's Ian. What did you bring to us, sir? What do you have? You said it's a music extravaganza.

SPEAKER_06 10:24

A little bit of a music extravaganza again. Sorry to have to do this to the listeners again, but uh Is this about um uh Pitle?

SPEAKER_07 10:31

It's named Mr. Woman. It's about me.

SPEAKER_06 10:34

It's actually about me.

SPEAKER_07 10:36

Because can you grab me another beer then they grab just reloads for the whole boy?

SPEAKER_06 10:40

Just get a reload.

SPEAKER_07 10:41

New clip, new clips for the whole boy.

SPEAKER_06 10:42

I need uh n ammo great Max ammo.

SPEAKER_07 10:47

Yeah, what do you got? Tell me.

SPEAKER_06 10:48

Anyway, so this is like long past, but this is specifically for one person. Um a couple weeks ago at this point. I was getting pressed.

SPEAKER_07 10:59

Press?

SPEAKER_05 11:00

Who's pressed?

SPEAKER_06 11:00

Full court press? Michael Lebeski.

SPEAKER_05 11:02

He's and he's a known press.

SPEAKER_06 11:07

Uh the Super Bowl came up and he was talking about bad money and how it wasn't good, and how I said I liked it, and it was a good show. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 11:16

The grass people were pretty cool. I like them. I liked everybody.

SPEAKER_07 11:19

I didn't know they were grass people until I saw the photos after, which made sense why he was able to move the set around like it was. Like the choreography was amazing. Unlike any other show.

SPEAKER_05 11:32

I fucked with the people dancing on the electrical poles. I thought that was dope.

SPEAKER_07 11:35

That was that was kind of mid. I the piece I liked the least was the feature. Like Pedro Pascual, Nicki Minaj. I mean, they were just in the background. But like Nicki Minaj. Nicki Minaj was there. It was either her cardiovascular. It can't be her cardiovas.

SPEAKER_06 11:51

Yeah, it can't be Nicki Minaj. There's a couple celebrities, but they were not even focused on it.

SPEAKER_07 11:55

No, they weren't. It was just like that was like an Easter egg. Yeah. Is that Pedro? Is that Pedro? I did think that was the only one I'm like, that kind of looks like Pedro Paschal. I'm like, why would he be there? Why wouldn't he be? In solidarity. If I could be guessing if I had the opportunity, I'd is that Nathan? Yeah, I don't know what I'd be there. I would do it.

SPEAKER_05 12:13

I don't know what I'd be doing there. Just like looking at a map or like looking at my phone, like confused stuff because I don't understand where it's.

SPEAKER_06 12:19

Then again, why the hell is Lady Gaga there at any point?

SPEAKER_07 12:21

She sang.

SPEAKER_06 12:22

I know, but it wasn't about her. It was about Ricky Martin, too, who sang a little bit.

SPEAKER_07 12:26

I liked Ricky Martin. Ricky Martin's part was great.

SPEAKER_06 12:29

Like that all made sense. I feel like they had to have a white lady there for some reason. They had to have one.

SPEAKER_07 12:35

The guy's back.

SPEAKER_06 12:36

She's been at too many Super Bowls. Get somebody else. Let her in at every she has a deal with the Super Bowls. She might have to be a little bit more than that. She might go to every NFL. She's allowed to go on the stage of any Super Bowl halftime show.

SPEAKER_07 12:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 12:49

So anyway, long story short, he was pressing me, Oh, you like Bad Bunny? Oh, right? Fairly. Yes. And I appreciate you backing me up. I know that you did. Displays a la playa. We were talking about that two years ago. Exactly. That was at your old apartment. I guess. More than two years ago than now. So I don't I I guess he needs to understand that I am Mr. Worldwide.

SPEAKER_07 13:15

It is crazy that he doesn't know that by now.

SPEAKER_06 13:17

And that's what's crazy. I lived with him, I was playing non-English speaking music with him. And we're gonna hear some of it. We're gonna hear some right now. A little reminder for him. A little reminder for that. I'll make it a lot of money.

SPEAKER_07 13:27

And then I'm educated, uncultured idiot.

SPEAKER_06 13:29

He doesn't think I'm Mr. Worldwide. And I I'll just preface it with I started out easy for you. I'll work you to the to the scarier stuff. I'll work, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 13:38

I'm gonna work, yeah. All right, let's go. Easier to the scarier stuff. Let's let's check out Mr. Worldwide. We might have to adjust some other levels because I don't know how loud this is gonna be. I don't know either. But we're about to find out.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

Leave, motherfucker! Plague starter, go to hell, dude! Fuck you! Guys, come on, can we all say a prayer for the victims of the plague, please?

SPEAKER_10 13:58

I only was gonna do crack because I need to counterbalance to go take something else on the top, baby. So we can suck balls to your team, suck balls, mouth! Shut the fuck up. We haven't done anything. We're a totally peaceful racist group. My everything! Lynn will say that this looks like dried up cum. And Lacey will say that it is dried up cum. But I'm telling you, there might be a place for me in the Overwatch League.

SPEAKER_09 14:21

Look, there we go. Is that you?

SPEAKER_10 14:23

Is that you got you good, you fucker.

SPEAKER_05 14:26

The first time I smoked Brunts, I cough so fucking hard. I started passing kidney stone.

SPEAKER_07 14:33

I do love that guy.

SPEAKER_10 14:35

Yeah, man, it's pussy. Get the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_06 14:40

This song is Yiddish. These are all songs on my liked songs that I listen to all the time.

SPEAKER_07 14:46

So this is anti-goislap.

SPEAKER_06 14:48

This is a Canadian band called Black Orchestrar. Black Ox Orchestrar. But they sing in Yiddish. Is it fade out like that? Do you do that? Okay.

SPEAKER_05 14:58

Mr. Worldwide!

unknown 15:04

Take it, take it, take it.

SPEAKER_05 15:06

This is again the Yiddish? Obviously, it was a transition, Nathan.

SPEAKER_06 15:11

My bad. Starting it. America. Oh, okay. America's bank. To be worldwide.

SPEAKER_07 15:20

One of the best places in the world. Exactly. This is the honk anthem.

SPEAKER_06 15:23

Yeah. That's why I put it on.

SPEAKER_07 15:25

And that is why you would, you know. Yeah. And Mr. Worldwide, because he respects his reason.

SPEAKER_06 15:28

I want to start easy for you guys.

SPEAKER_07 15:32

Australian. English. And he loves this one. And he loves this one, but they could not be more foreign if we tried.

SPEAKER_06 15:38

I would still I'd love to see them on the Super Bowl show. Oh my god. It could change the game forever. I could do a little louder, but I don't know. It's hard to tell levels.

SPEAKER_04 15:52

One, two, three, four, five. Alright. Getting a little bit colder. It's getting a little colder. More northern.

SPEAKER_06 16:20

And it's not about him or what he likes. This is reminding me that I'm Mr. World Line. And it's fair. Don't press me. You know where this is.

SPEAKER_04 16:57

Oh no, somebody stops me.

SPEAKER_07 17:01

I think these guys got cancelled. Oh yeah. And they're dead now. They're not dead, unfortunately, though. It'd be better for them if they were, I think.

SPEAKER_06 17:12

And here we go. Oh no. Last English one, I think. How many did we hit already? Wait a little bit to get through the water. Had to put him in there because this is what started it all.

SPEAKER_07 17:34

I'll be honest. He did not play all of his best songs in the Super Bowl.

SPEAKER_06 17:44

This next song coming up. This is my favorite song right now. What is that like me then? It's a little bit of narco. Like a little bit of narcotics. You know this one.

SPEAKER_05 18:06

I don't know this lady.

SPEAKER_06 18:15

I don't know. I throw it in a very rare Bosnian throw. You know, Bosnian chat.

SPEAKER_07 18:37

We still like our European brothers. There's a good problem right now, but we still like our Bosnia.

SPEAKER_05 18:46

Bosnia is that old place? Good question. Bosnia Herzovina?

SPEAKER_06 19:04

This is a West Germany communist song. Oh very easy. No, West Germany would be the Communist Germany. Oh no, you're not going to be able to do that. Maybe go with Bessie with like if this song was played through the Super Bowl for his reference and take the last thing.

SPEAKER_05 21:16

I was gonna say I want to step up in a room. Damn it.

SPEAKER_07 21:22

I love Pipple so much. He's sad. Like, I'll be honest, to be Mr. Worldwide, but then also to only sing like kind of Spanish, you know? Yeah, really not that wide. Yeah, no, the world is. No, going through this, I did realize some gaps. There's gaps.

SPEAKER_06 21:39

I'm gonna film.

SPEAKER_07 21:41

There's only part one.

SPEAKER_06 21:41

I want to hit some I gotta find some good Indian stuff that I like.

SPEAKER_07 21:45

You gotta toss on some Feyruz, dude.

SPEAKER_05 21:47

Lebanon Queen. Oh, bro.

SPEAKER_06 21:48

Open for and this is also to anybody.

SPEAKER_05 21:50

Gotta toss on for Brenda Fossey.

SPEAKER_07 21:54

You gotta toss on Yvonne Chaka Chaka. Nate is a little bit of a Mr. Worldwise.

SPEAKER_05 22:00

And he's not. And that's stuff that Faith has just turned me on to.

SPEAKER_07 22:03

It's all about when someone shows you music and you don't absolutely hate it. Or it turns out to be fucking band. And it is band. Where's this been my whole life? Yeah, why haven't I been listening to this?

SPEAKER_06 22:15

Because we don't open our minds. And we say, Oh, this ain't English. I'm not allowed to listen to this. I'm not allowed to listen to it. I can't open up my heart and my ears to the vibes of a different country.

SPEAKER_07 22:26

It is truly vibes. It's truly just in a flow state vibes. It is flow state. If you can, if you like the music, you don't need to know what the words are. Exactly. Which is a big problem that most people have with music. It's like, I don't know what they're saying. Like, it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_05 22:40

Do you think all those dudes in like freaking happier? Tokyo would cared what they were singing Rock You Like a Hurricane, dude? Absolutely not. No, they don't care. It's about the vibes. Are we happy? Are we sad? Are we allergies? And anyway, that was a German band singing in English to what freaking people who didn't understand, you know?

SPEAKER_07 22:54

A real Mr. World Wide and themselves. Exactly. So it is about the vibes. No, I really like that because it is all those songs hit. Yeah, I like them all. Yeah. I'll make you feel a different kind of way. It'll make you feel a different kind of way. Well, it's a nice stroll on the town or ready to help, dude. Yeah. Ready to have it. How often though, if you do you walk a lot with headphones? No. I mean, I do listen. While you do stuff. Yeah. Because like, how often do you hear it like when a real banger comes on and all of a sudden you're like, you start walking a little bit faster, a little bit more swag. Yeah, you're like, oh yeah, this is it. This is like this is a good, this got me going.

SPEAKER_06 23:31

Even sitting at my desk, I'll be like ready to start. It's like flipping a coin as I'm going, dude.

SPEAKER_07 23:37

Like Yeah, I do be vibing sometimes at the office when I'm like, alright, this is a fucking chance.

SPEAKER_06 23:42

But I want to sometimes.

SPEAKER_07 23:44

I do get to think I don't have I refuse to put on headphones because I think it's so disrespectful in the office where we often talk to each other when I'm like, hey, yell hey! Oh, I I do this move. And but and that's respectful because you can hear everyone around. But there's too many times where people I have to double talk to people because they're not like wave them down. Like, so I just play my music through the speaker so everyone has to hear it. And so when I be vibe, I'm like, alright, I'm like, I know what I can play. I know what I can play when certain co-workers are around. Right. But yeah, what I can't play is right. But you know, like it's obviously gets a little bit heavier when I'm by myself, then because when you're in the jail and I'm finishing out my last freaking couple of uh like sentences and stuff towards the end of the day, and it's just me. And I'm like, alright, let's put on cruel hand or let's put on some like post-hardcore or something, or just something stupid. I'm like, and I'm like, I'm just cr cracking through the work, bro. It makes me more productive. Makes you more productive does. Music with work does make you more productive. It truly does.

SPEAKER_06 24:45

And would you say you're hard listening to the English lyrics while you're listening?

SPEAKER_07 24:49

No, you can't you can't work and listen hard to the lyrics. You have to just feel it. Because if you're because I will, if I'm like, if I'm listening to a new song, especially while I'm at work, I can't really pay attention to it. I have to listen to it later because I'm like, it's not super loud, and also I don't know, I'm just in the background. It's background noise.

SPEAKER_06 25:08

So how much does fucking English matter at that point?

SPEAKER_07 25:10

It doesn't. Actually at all. We're eventually gonna have a worldwide um uh universal language universal language.

SPEAKER_06 25:15

I actually people have tried that. Hasn't worked out yet.

SPEAKER_07 25:18

So you gotta make it not it has to be already a language that we have or a bastardization of how to have to make up a totally new language. No one's gonna learn a completely new language, you have to make it up, make it up a new language.

SPEAKER_06 25:29

Yeah, that's but that's people have tried that, and I don't know what else can learn. And I doubt people at the UN are gonna be like, We're all gonna learn English. You know, nobody will have to want that big time.

SPEAKER_07 25:44

No, here's the time. And most countries do teach English. I don't think you even need to anymore with how good um see like that's what AI should be getting used for, bro.

SPEAKER_05 25:52

Just like for the fucking translators and shit that they already have at like the UN and stuff, where dudes can just talk and it's just like you know, brings it up to you.

SPEAKER_07 25:58

No bueno, no, um I ran. No bueno. Ah, CCC. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, so I mean they kind of, you know, I don't really think you need a universal language. I I don't think you the technology, the technocrats will solve that.

SPEAKER_06 26:15

Imagine going anywhere in the world and not having a language barrier.

SPEAKER_05 26:18

Because I'd imagine all the translators, dude. All like because like I was thinking about what the fuck was I looking at where it was talking about just like just briefly mentioned like the translator for like Kim Jong un, like the Russian translator for Kim Jong oon, and how like I was like, man, that's gotta be such a fucking dope job, dude. Cause you just you're right there, bro. You know all this.

SPEAKER_07 26:38

He's gotta treat you nice because you know all the secrets, bro. You know all the secrets. That's also the problem. You might know too many secrets.

SPEAKER_05 26:43

No, because you might if you flub up. You don't flub up, you just have to learn how to fucking speak Russian.

SPEAKER_06 26:49

So hard keeping a secret though.

SPEAKER_07 26:50

Yeah. And if he doesn't start not liking you or not trusting you, at least one person.

SPEAKER_05 26:55

You already know you got cameras on your 24-7, so I'm just a chill bill, dude. I'm the chillest of bills because I'm the safest man in North Korea, dude.

SPEAKER_07 27:03

The secrets. I know. I think you might not be the safest man in North Korea. They want to protect King Jong. They don't want anyone swiping me up. That's what happened. When you what that translator gets suicided by two shots in the back of the head, they just have another guy step up. You know, you don't think he has a fleet of guys ready to go? He's like, I'm a chillbill trustworthy guy. Um I'm not sure how chillbill is.

SPEAKER_06 27:25

He doesn't even think so, even if you are. Yeah, he might not think. You have the whims of victory.

SPEAKER_07 27:31

He hangs out with who's that um basketball player that he hangs out with uh Rodney. So you know he's gotta be full of Dennis Rodman. Yeah, Dennis Rodman. That dude is not chillbill.

SPEAKER_05 27:40

But like that's how you know Kim Jungle's gotta be at least a little fun. He's not like if that's his if like out of the way.

SPEAKER_07 27:46

I don't know why he would show up. It's who would show up to like hang out with Kim Jungle, and then Dennis Rodman said, Alright, I'll show up. I'll come up the bat. He loves basketball. He loves basketball. But like, you know, like out of everyone, you could have like yeah, out of every I've got to imagine the worm. I've watched some Dennis Rodman highlights, bro. When he was in the league, bro, he was a menace. Dude played nasty. It's the worm. It was like a whole people had to change the whole way of basketball to play against him because he would just get like in people's faces all the time. Doesn't sound like a chill bill, bro. He's probably a pretty chill bill. You gotta be a chill bill in North Korea. Maybe he just matches energy. That's what I'm that and that's what I worry about. Which may not be chill.

SPEAKER_05 28:24

And how fun would that be, dude? Be in a room with like Kim Jong-un and like and Dennis Rodman and like a fucking Russian oligarch too.

SPEAKER_06 28:32

Like, what would I say to people I have nothing in common?

SPEAKER_05 28:36

Yeah, I was gonna be like, it's pretty fucking cool, huh? Other than I speak Russian, yeah, fucking snort some more gold.

SPEAKER_07 28:42

And that's what and what happens, and what happens so you're with a Russian oligarch, and the Russian oligarch says you just farted, and you have to do that, you have to say that to Kim Jong un It was you know, it was me. Yeah, you'll you're the fart pansy, and then the Russian oligarch's like, I'm so sorry, he doesn't tell an apologies. He doesn't know how to act around me, have him killed. A million apologies. Ah then Kim Jong un has to look tough. And he has to look tough. He's like, Oh, of course, you're right. Kill him. Kill myself.

SPEAKER_06 29:11

And then he's like, no.

SPEAKER_07 29:13

Yeah, true. You have to escalate immediately. I'm sorry that was me. Would you like me to kill myself? And then he shows his mercy and favor and says, no, 500 lashes. I'll see you later. Not too bad. Eviscerated. Not off easy. A second thought to the camps. Second thought. No, a fate worse than death. You dirty fart peasant.

SPEAKER_06 29:36

Oh, that one dude who stole a supposedly stole a poster or whatever came back in the United States. So fucking ring dead. That's what I mean.

SPEAKER_07 29:43

They put a yeah, they put Tally drilled a hole in his head. Making him Dahmer zombies.

SPEAKER_06 29:49

We didn't do that. He showed up alive. He showed up actually fine.

SPEAKER_05 29:53

He had a pulse when we dropped him off, dude.

SPEAKER_07 29:56

He was fine. I don't know what happened between transit. I don't know. Classic integrity advanced. Classic Western healthcare system, dude. I mean, yeah, no good. Just no. Gave him a little taste of the North Korean healthcare system. Well, let me speaking of the Western healthcare system. I'm not going to divulge exact identities for the sake of this man. I would love to have this guy. I'm just going to call him DL because that's his initials. Love to have this guy on the podcast, but I wouldn't want him to know where you live. But we can rent the hotel. Yeah, that's why I mean we do kind of need studio space to get some more. Just set this up in a Motel 6. Yeah. It'd be easy enough to do. Yeah, but we'd probably be getting DL there because he is legally blind. But he has my direct line.

SPEAKER_06 30:39

We'll get him a car. Yeah. A chauffeur.

SPEAKER_07 30:43

A chauffeur. Oh, Mr. DL, please. Step in this limousine. It's just it's just your car.

SPEAKER_06 30:49

Yeah, I mean, this is a hundred dollar deal so far. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 30:51

But um Yeah, this guy, he has my direct line at my office, which is problematic. I've helped him get this. Like, he is a civilian ex con lawyer. Wow. Triple threat. Is he actually a lawyer? Not a civilian lawyer. That's why I said precedent with civilian. Like a street poet. Not a yeah. Yeah, exactly. He's a jailhouse lawyer, but he's out on the street. He did his time. He's gone blind. Call blind. So a lot harder to commit crimes. Went blind from doing the time. I don't know. But he calls me a lot. So he just called me the other day trying to ask about, you know, this guy that he's, you know, picked up work for. It's a buddy of his. Used to be his character. He gets 50 hours a week for caregiving. Someone can come, he gets 50 hours a week caregiver to help him with his day-to-day and stuff. Call he blind. Yeah. It's a decent amount of time. That's what I said to him. Like, how the fuck are you getting 50 hours? And yet we have to put old people in, like, fight them out of their homes, get them in, like, a, you know, into a home where they'll die and, you know, the Jamaican orderlies make them fight. Like, but regardless, he's cool. I don't it's hard to tell how old he is, but he's definitely old head. Yeah, I haven't necessarily seen him. I've never seen him. He only talked on the phone.

SPEAKER_06 32:01

60s, 70s, 80s, 90s.

SPEAKER_07 32:03

Not that old. Maybe 50s.

SPEAKER_06 32:05

Yeah, 50s or 60s max. Pretty early to get 50 hours.

SPEAKER_07 32:09

The funniest part of it all. He's blind, though. He's blind as a bad. Or he's not a he's not officially. He said, whatever's going on with he's legally blind. He says, my eyesight is going. I'm not sure how long he'll be able to have this. To the point, so this is what happened. So he was telling me about this. A guy who you one of his a buddy he has, good guy, really great guy. He prefaces that. That guy's in, say, prison now, blah, blah, blah. But he said, used to be his caretaker. He wants to try to get him out so he can be his caretaker again. He said, It's so hard to trust these caretakers. I had this woman, she was my caretaker. And that's not I'm not doing his voice justice because he sounds just like the guy from war mode, like Spade or Spud from War Mode, which makes me like talking to him because it sounds like that guy. Huh. But so his voice makes me laugh. But he's like, I have this lady here, and I like I try to be very easy to take care of, but I tell her, you cannot touch these certain things because I can't, I don't know where they are if you move them. She's like, She fucking moved my spoons. I don't know where my fucking spoons are now.

SPEAKER_06 33:12

It seems like a wild thing to move.

SPEAKER_07 33:14

Yeah, like it seems like there's a place for it. But yeah, she moved shit, and it's like, now I don't know where any of my cylinders are. Different drawers. Yeah, exactly. Like, that's like, but that was like that gave me the most concrete, like, oh, that's how blind he is, where if you move the spoons, the spoons are now lost in his apartment. Yeah, they could be anywhere. They're gone. They could be anywhere. Exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 33:33

But you can only see based on the side. Because it's not like they're moving around to hear him.

SPEAKER_07 33:36

No. Yeah, no. But then the other, so the buddy he's trying to get out of jail was trying to get him a service dog. So he's bringing service dogs to his apartment. I don't think these were legit service dogs because the service dog he brought in had fleas. And now his apartment has fleas.

SPEAKER_05 33:56

That's normally not happening. That's a pain in the ass.

SPEAKER_07 33:59

What a mess. And so this lady who moved the spoons on him, he was because we got we start bantering. He just he needs someone to talk to. Truly, he is a blind man. He's bored as hell. He's bored as hell. I got it. He probably just lives off the government, gets his caretaker come in. That lady doesn't necessarily like him, probably, at all. Because moving the spoons is something very funny to do to a blind guy. And I'm sure she hasn't moved the spoons at all. Yeah, he might have to do it. I'm just feeling she did not. I don't think this lady's getting paid enough to move spoons. Spoons are a very important thing to because things you need to eat with a spoon, you cannot eat with a fork or a knife.

SPEAKER_06 34:29

Unless he leaves it like at a weird, precarious space where like this needs to be moved. Yeah, it's on like the edge of every step. There's a spoon.

SPEAKER_07 34:37

I you know I have my spoons above the doorway that's where I keep them. Right when I come back, I need to grab them right above my head. Which would be tough for a spoon. You'd have giant light sockets. But so the same lady who moved the spoons on his ass, like she's pissed off because there's fleas in her apartment in this apartment.

SPEAKER_06 34:56

Which means there's fleas in her apartment.

SPEAKER_07 34:58

Yeah, yeah. So she she's being exposed to fleas. So apparently she set a bug bomb off his apartment while he was in the apartment and didn't tell him. I'd like it's that's classic, just not I don't think understanding what you think a bug bomb does. Maybe she is terrible. Yeah, she might be bad because that's a bad thing to do. Or like I could only imagine he just was like in like maybe just because I know blind people who are blind don't use the lights, but they don't need the lights.

SPEAKER_06 35:23

They also are hypersensitive to smells and other he's got Daredevil nose.

SPEAKER_07 35:28

But so he's sitting, I could see him just have like she comes in, maybe is tidying up and like there's fucking fleas in this place. I'm setting the bug bomb, and he's just sitting in the corner in the dark and she doesn't even know he's home. Yeah, yeah, just silently sitting, waiting to call me later. Getting fucking chewed up by fleas.

SPEAKER_06 35:42

Just getting pissed.

SPEAKER_07 35:43

I'm so fucking itchy and I don't know why.

SPEAKER_06 35:46

These little things.

SPEAKER_07 35:47

Yeah, I can feel them. Screwing everyone. Scurrying, I hear that. Yeah, so she sets off the bug, sets off the bug bomb, and so he thinks he's dying. I get it. Yeah. He um uh had recently just undergone a fairly serious surgery where they removed, I don't exactly remember the why. No, not his eyes. He gets kidney stones a lot because he said, I don't drink water. I only drink soda. I'm a coke addict. The liquid, not the powder. I'm like, that's funny. I like that LD. That's good. No, almost more deadly. Yeah, that's why. Not little Dicky. Is this little Dicky? No, it's DL. DL. But I'm uh don't drink water. He doesn't drink water, he only drinks soda. I'm like, well, that might be why you're blind. But he gets nasty, he gets nasty kidney stones. He had to do his surgery to get this. He said it was his pet rock. I had a pet rock in me for a while. They had to underdo surgery to remove it because it was too big to pass. And now he had to go to the hospital. He's like, so his fucking bug bomb goes off. And I'm fucking, she's like, poison me. I gotta get cancer for this. And then and then so I gotta go to the emergency room. I'm in all this pain and all this pain. Turns out I just got more kidney stones. And they say it's almost 95, 95% of the way past. But like, I thought it was the bug bomb. I'm like, you thought the bug bomb was making your tummy hurt?

SPEAKER_06 36:58

Like maybe hurt, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 37:00

Yeah, but yeah, he's gotta pass his fucking kidney stone, but he's already hurt. I'm like, is it? How do you not know if he gets kidney stones all the time? Stop drinking the fucking soda DL. That's what I'm about to say. I'm like, yo, you gotta start drinking water, my guy.

SPEAKER_06 37:16

Sliquid IV at least help him along the way. Something some kind of hydration.

SPEAKER_05 37:21

Gotta get that corn syrup and freaking acid out of your stomach. Yeah, that's what I mean.

SPEAKER_07 37:28

He's he's um uh he's a wild man. Yeah, I'm sure he has nothing but stories.

SPEAKER_06 37:33

And he's one of these people I'm like I don't know if he's one of those dudes who I they exist. I know a few who make problems for themselves to complain about shit later. Oh yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_07 37:43

Yeah, like death, like having a kidney skin you had to surgically remove sounds to me like I would never drink soda again.

SPEAKER_06 37:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 37:51

Because you know that's what's doing it.

SPEAKER_06 37:52

Well, he wants to keep talking about shit. He wants to do that. To somebody to you.

SPEAKER_07 37:56

Yeah, exactly. To me. I'll call he he said he's gonna call me back. I kind of gave him the direction he should go, and he's like, I'll call you back when I get him. You don't need to, I'm not gonna I don't need the update. You don't gotta update me, man. Like, this means nothing to me. But now he might need to know more than cell house. But now I'm invested. Now this is a segment. Now this is yeah, weekly updates of what's going on with the how them fleas going. How the fleas going? You get the fleas out yet? He's like, well, yeah, breathe in half the bug bomb. I had to get close to it to see what it was. Feel it in my hands.

SPEAKER_08 38:26

Oh he put smelling salt in it!

SPEAKER_07 38:31

This is a spoon. Yeah. Where's my damn spoon? This is where I put my spoon. She bug bombed my spoon.

SPEAKER_08 38:38

My spoon getting my spoon.

SPEAKER_05 38:43

Go ahead and bug pesticide pesticide and fleas.

SPEAKER_07 38:47

I was using the fleas to slide my spoons. They confided it in me.

unknown 38:51

They whisper.

SPEAKER_08 38:52

Your spoons, the owl. She's moving the spoon. Don't move on spoon! She wants to kill us, DL.

SPEAKER_07 39:04

Could you imagine? Oh my god. What a a blessing that occurs.

SPEAKER_06 39:07

Oh my god, we dealt with fleas one time when we were living with Columbuski.

SPEAKER_07 39:11

When the cats had fleas?

SPEAKER_06 39:12

The cat, the dog. Everyone had fleas. Everything had fleas.

SPEAKER_07 39:17

Damn. Even my plushies.

SPEAKER_06 39:19

Yeah. Took a while.

SPEAKER_07 39:22

Yeah, did you bug bum the house why Nikki was inside?

SPEAKER_06 39:25

Washing the fucking cats. I think Nikki and Columbus had fucking cuts all over.

SPEAKER_07 39:29

Yeah, well, I say I can't imagine a cat loves a bath, but. There should just be like uh you should just be able to put them in like a box. Like they should have like the dog wash where you lock them. Be able to put in a box in like UV, like just burn the first layer of everything.

SPEAKER_06 39:44

Just take like a day off the cat's life. Microwave it for a second. It's not a lot of it.

SPEAKER_07 39:49

When you microwave it for a minute, will it die? No. Is it gonna hurt it? Yes.

SPEAKER_06 39:55

Boil its soft cook the insides. I gotta piss.

SPEAKER_07 39:58

Hold on. I'm gonna just pause. I know, I know. I'm a fucking idiot. I'm gonna pause it. And we're back, folks.

SPEAKER_06 40:05

And we have breaking news if you're sensitive.

SPEAKER_07 40:07

And if you're sensitive, please. Terrifying footage out of the state of California.

SPEAKER_02 40:12

A terrifying video circulating on social media appeared to show a man carrying a severed body part of someone killed by a train in Wasco.

SPEAKER_01 40:32

I'm not sure if it, but he came this way and he walked off through here and he was waving the like the person's leg. And well, he was he started chewing on it over there, and he was biting it, and then he was hitting it against the wall and everything.

SPEAKER_03 40:45

It was a typical Friday for the construction workers laying down concrete outside the Amtrak station in Wasco until they saw a horrifying sight. Casey Sowe says the man is 27-year-old Rosendo Tellez. Tellez was arrested for taking evidence from the scene and had multiple outstanding warrants. At this moment, investigators haven't said who the leg belongs to.

SPEAKER_07 41:54

He's a repeat offender. He's been known to do this. He's been known to do this. Nah, he's like, he's a homeless guy. And I think the first point is if you get hit by a train, is it your fault? Um, I mean a lot of times it's a suicide, so yeah. So I would say nine times out of time. Yeah, I always say you no one's getting surprised snuck by a train. No, I mean you and the train tracks are very easy to find. They yeah, they're always there. They're there. You know where to you'll be. Yeah. So the guy gets freaking splattered by the train. Oh T's and P's of that gentleman. T's and P's. But there's you know, there's some carnage, and just so happens this guy's like The perfect person walked by. The perfect person. Literally, it was a crime of opportunity. Right place, right time. Right place, right time. Perfect place, perfect time. But uncooked leg? It's it would be, yeah. At least. Like, so that guy's clearly he's on drugs, obviously. Like I would just want to know, man, what kind of drugs, like, what kind of like what makes you uh meth, probably. But like, I can't ever lose all human faculties.

SPEAKER_05 42:56

Where just you find like a chunk of like not even just like meat, like human meat, like identifiably human meat, dude.

SPEAKER_06 43:02

You didn't look that hungry.

SPEAKER_07 43:05

It was more I think it was more so like a fine, you're waving it around and he's like, let me grab that and then it's like this opportunity again.

SPEAKER_05 43:14

I might be taking this with me, and then like, yeah, I'm gonna gnaw on it and hit it against like your. If you thought it was a sandwich, you wouldn't flail it around and hit it against a wall. If it was a very thought it was a human leg, you you wouldn't be biting on it or doing anything to it.

SPEAKER_07 43:28

Now but what if you thought it what if you were confused if it was both?

SPEAKER_05 43:31

Like if you thought it was like a fucking salmon and like you were a bear, then maybe it could be you could have been role-playing as a bear.

SPEAKER_07 43:40

As a Kodiak grizzly. Kodiak grizzly finally got in his first hunt. His first kill. His first kill after hibernation. Yeah. He's gonna build up his fat stores.

SPEAKER_06 43:49

Yeah, like Raza couldn't think about just like a hairy man leg. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_07 43:54

Hey, don't say it's hairy man leg. I don't know who's like it. It's California. It could be it. Got hit by a train, so you know it got some grease on it. It's a dirty, fucking bloody, gnarled leg. It's gotta be bloody leg for sure. Bloody. So I do think the crime of removing it from like a crime scene, that's problematic. You can't just be picking shit up. You can't just be brought at a crime scene.

SPEAKER_05 44:16

If if there was an ID and it said organ donor, does that make it okay? He just took his piece. He just said, like, I'll take that, thank you.

SPEAKER_07 44:24

Skin is an organ, it's the biggest organ. It is the biggest organ. He's got some circulatory system in there.

SPEAKER_05 44:30

So he said, perfect. Like, this is I need this for my homoculus.

SPEAKER_07 44:32

I needed this leg. I needed this leg. My one leg was tired. My one leg has a dog wound. Yeah, dude. I'm gonna put a lampshade on this, like it's fucking Christmas story. It's good. The Christmas story. Because I do think I truly they can do the rest of the crime scene sans one leg. You know what I mean? Like, what happened? He got hit by a train. We got one arm, two arms, we literally found every single bone except for his whole left leg.

SPEAKER_06 44:57

Was he always did he always have one leg?

SPEAKER_07 44:59

Exactly. I'd be like, I found this leg completely unrelated. This is mine.

SPEAKER_05 45:03

I have a license for this. No, they'd find the leg like miles away somewhere else, totally different. Now that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_07 45:10

What if he was starting a fun caper for the police? This is a trick. He's lost all you know, he's homeless, so he doesn't really believe in the system. So he's gonna be like, I'm gonna start this fun caper to test the police.

SPEAKER_05 45:21

I'm gonna put a little leg over here, a little leg in my stomach, a little leg over here.

SPEAKER_07 45:25

Well, if you're carrying the leg, I'll like I'm not gonna say I don't think I would chomp on leg, I don't think I would even touch it. That's nasty. It's disgusting. It's icky, it's super fucking icky. Imagine how gross that is, bro. Lifeless leg. Fucking severed leg. I don't know, dude. But like, could you imagine? Like, it would be interesting. It would be interesting to see hitting a Tootsie as hard as you can against the wall and just see what that would look like. It's gross. That would be nasty. Like you have the ultimate, you have the ultimate, like he probably was taking it back to the homeless camp to like do some funny, like, I'm gonna kick you in the butt bit.

SPEAKER_05 46:00

Just imagine pick up like a raw chicken leg and just like throw it against the wall. Like, it's not gonna be like, wow, like what's gonna happen?

SPEAKER_07 46:07

It doesn't have piggies, bro. It doesn't have the piggies. It's gonna be so many. And this little piggy. The prop comic, dude. He's a classic prop Cali prop comic. You know what I mean? Like, he's he was on his way to the comedy store, most likely. Yeah. And he missed his bit. It was open mic night. Which, you know, you gotta sign up early for those when the daylight was out. And those could greedy, greedy construction workers wanted it for themselves. That's fucking hilarious. Yeah, I want that bit. What if he went to the construction work? Like the concrete guy's like, can we put this in the concrete? I think that'd be funny. Have it stick this out. Can I dip this in the concrete to preserve it? To preserve it for later, because I know I'm gonna be hungry later. I'm not hungry right now. Because Homeless Man's Monster needs a leg. Yeah, he might. That's what I mean, though. We there's all these books that they just made a movie about Frankenstein.

SPEAKER_05 46:59

He can't be a Frankenstein? That was just Francisco Stein, dude. That was Francisco Stein.

SPEAKER_06 47:03

Could be testing the freshness.

SPEAKER_07 47:06

That's fucking wild, man. Again, I don't I don't know what you gotta be on the fucking. They were eating people's faces on bass salts. He's getting cheap gas station weed high. K2 might do that too. Who knows, man? Yeah, maybe something like that, dude. Anything. He's a little drinking. He had some C B D oil the day before. Some C B D oils. Yeah, I can't. That guy get that shit off the streets. He was smoking on Neptune's Whisper. Yeah. The gas station we're drinking the Neptune station. Neptune's elixir. Neptune's elixir, yeah. The Neptune's bounty. Yeah. That shit should be illegal to sell. That's crazy. The things you can get behind the counter at a gas station is diabolical. But diabolical too, man. I'd say I'm I'm kind of on both sides. And I think, as Tim Dillon was saying earlier, I got I saw this from him. You're gonna see a lot more of this soon. Food's gonna be harder to get. And people just don't care about human remains anymore. They truly don't. You think he was actually just maybe hungry? I think he was just hot, drunk, and high at the same time, drinking champagne on the airway.

SPEAKER_06 48:10

And it's a lot of what ifs going through his mind.

SPEAKER_07 48:13

Yeah, he's like, what if I tried this? What if I what if human meat was the tastiest meat? And I just don't know it. It could be time to find out again. And you need to have a start with the core somewhere, dude. If you've ever played Skyrim, there's always human skeletos later littering the entry.

SPEAKER_05 48:33

I gotta work on my pile of bones. What better way to start than a human leg?

SPEAKER_07 48:36

Yes, and I'll be honest, if you don't want people to come to your homeless campo, you have a human leg. You just have severed bodies. That is a big good one. Huge turn. Huge etern. The fucking hills have eyes. That's cute. And I don't know how this guy was sliced up to bits, but I think the leg is the most respectful piece to take. He's this guy's getting cremated anyway. He's he's probably hamburger meat.

SPEAKER_06 48:56

But the legs are the most underappreciated, maybe.

SPEAKER_07 48:59

Yeah, that's what I mean. No one's gonna care. Like open casket. It's not gonna be open casket. But could be if it didn't hit his face, the legs back. Well, the open casket, it's only the top part. Not gonna show the bottom mess. His legs are off.

SPEAKER_05 49:13

They just have the leg in the castle.

SPEAKER_07 49:16

That's all that was identifiable. That dude was trying to save him. Do you kiss his foot if you're not if he's your grandpapa and you're like, just I'm gonna miss you, grandpapa?

SPEAKER_06 49:27

He was trying to take do in death what they did in life.

SPEAKER_07 49:29

He's trying to take him to the Epstein cloner. He's trying to take him to the cloner, trying to give him the Epstein cloner. They're in I'm not sure how far away from Silicon Valley. Yeah, he's trying to get to fucking the Google headquarters dudes. Pretty nice.

SPEAKER_06 49:42

He's in a beard. He's in Israel with a beard.

SPEAKER_07 49:44

He's for sure alive now. Now that it's enough has come out, he's definitely alive. If not him, they may have reprinted his shell with moths. Might have Mickey 17 them. Mickey 17 them or you know marathoned them. He lost his entire loadout when he got killed in that prison. He fucking lost the extraction trunk. Yeah, he lost the getting couldn't get extracted. Could not extract. It was one versus three, probably. Didn't have his crew fit. They keep releasing the loot. He got double teamed by Bill and Hillary. They did on uh the press conference for Bill and Hill, they had like a closed door, it wasn't closed door because a lot of it was released then, like the videos, but they were asking questions stuff about their affiliation with Epstein. Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies. They didn't say anything. I was waiting for Hill and Bill to burn Donald Trump down by saying, Yes, we were there. Yes, we saw all these people, they were all pedophiles. They could have burned it all down. They don't got that much to live anyway. I thought Bill at least I was hoping Bill would at least just fall in the street. In a moment, a moment of clarity. Be like, yes, we're all pedophiles, bam! Yeah, yeah. Bite down on his tooth or something. Yeah, bites out on the cyanide tooth. Don't close his mouth. Yeah, exactly. That's now that is the TV, the real life TV that we wanted to see. Not Hillary Clinton getting mad and stuff. And and Bill Clinton being in this hot tub in somewhere in Asia, who's like, yes, Jeffrey, I've seen recommended I could stay at this hotel. We had met before on different charity events. Charity event, the best way to say child trafficking event. Where do you get where do you get rich people and underprivileged children the same place? Charity events. Charity. Charity events, dude. It's code, man. It's literally, it's not even code. It's like connect the fucking time. This is little boy Pablo. He's from a third world country. Both of his parents are dead. No one even really knows he exists.

SPEAKER_06 51:38

Other than standing here seeing him, nobody knows he's here.

SPEAKER_07 51:41

And no one's gonna miss him 15 minutes later.

SPEAKER_06 51:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 51:44

After we spitrosed him like a fucking.

SPEAKER_06 51:47

And bury him upside the hills of fucking whatever.

SPEAKER_07 51:49

Yeah, but put him in the sea. He goes through the trapdoor to the sea. Jump jump. Yeah, no shot. Like so I mean, like, and they're like, oh yeah, we're gonna we donated five billion dollars that we're all gonna write off on our taxes to this charity event that, you know, gathers children, underprivileged children together to give them better homes. Wink wink. Wink nod nod. Yeah, so I guess the thing. His loot has been Jeffrey Epstein's still alive. He got reprinted, but his loot is being exposed to the world.

SPEAKER_06 52:16

Dude, he's a he's a seasoned pro, though. He'll make this loot back.

SPEAKER_07 52:20

He'll get the loot back. He's in the world of loot. Israel for him. That's like a pig in shit.

SPEAKER_06 52:26

That's uneasy mode. That's uneasy mode.

SPEAKER_07 52:28

He's gonna be probably the next um uh he'll own one of the islands on the new New Gaza Riviera, dude. Could you imagine if you call customer service and you're like, you're at the you're saying U TH boys fly out to New Gaza, we get invited to the newest, you know, podcast forum. I wouldn't go like enthused, but I'm not gonna decline the invite. I mean, to be given the opportunity. Immense opportunity, folks. That's like if we would have gotten invited to do live podcasts at that like Saudi Arabia like comedy festival, I'd take the money. Oh, yeah, as a chill out in a moment, dude. I would have an entire pro Saudi Arabia like set.

SPEAKER_06 53:07

We'd be like, we'd be playing nothing but Saudi music until I knew the doors were falling off. I would say, like, yeah, it's actually great over there. It's great. It's great. They treated us right falling off. I'm like, yeah, I don't actually like it.

SPEAKER_05 53:19

I didn't see I didn't see any oppression. There were journalists were fine. Yeah, journalists were fine, not cut up into pieces. No slaves whatsoever.

SPEAKER_07 53:28

So I wouldn't say no. I'd be like, I'm pretty sure there were some slaves, but they seemed like happy slaves.

SPEAKER_06 53:34

Somebody paid to get them there.

SPEAKER_07 53:36

It's kind of like we were I was one, I was a slave, they were a slave. We all I just got to leave.

SPEAKER_06 53:41

I mean, we just throw around that word, so I got to leave, they have to slave.

SPEAKER_07 53:45

It kind of means nothing. Exactly.

SPEAKER_06 53:47

Oh yeah. If you listen to this, we'll shell.

SPEAKER_07 53:50

Yeah, shill, shill, shill, shill, shill. But yeah, well, that's what I mean. You go, we're at the New Riviera for the new Ghana, and you're at this very nice hotel, and you see a guy who you're like far away and close up. He looks just like every NC. And he he talks waspy, and he's like, I'm so sorry that the the accommodations were not great. You boys, please have an extra night. Would you like any other services we can possibly fill your mini fridge? Other things. Pizza and grape soda. Pizza and grape soda. And then I'm like, yeah, Adrenochrome. Adrenochrome?

SPEAKER_06 54:23

No, thank you, sir. Yeah, no thank you. Appreciate the offer. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 54:27

I actually don't prefer pizza, hot dogs, or anything that's delicious. That you've ruined forever. That's like, um, I went to so place to check out for food. The Americas on Allenton, Allentown, and Hamilton Street. They've totally redone it. Have you been there yet? No, I have someone else to bring up though. Uh regardless, though. We got we got lunch, and Jose, who's one of the guys I work with, Venmoed me because I just paid for the bill and he venoed me his part for his sandwich. And Venomed me, like, you know, classic, like, I think he's like in his 50s sometimes. He's like, a pizza emoji. I'm like, bro, you cannot be venoming me Venmo money with pizza. You trying to get me fucking dox, my guy? What is this? Yeah, that or that he's trying to get me into the floor. Like, I was like, dude, he's not about it, but like, if I start saying this to you, the FBI might be like this guy's on, I might be the new Epstein. Yeah, he's gonna be the new fall guy. I'm the new goat. Can you explain all these transactions? Yeah. Someone keeps vengling you fucking pizza. What are you gonna say though again?

SPEAKER_06 55:27

Oh, that Max and Butters place that we went to. Yeah. I told some dude, Bob, who uh He was like, Yeah, dude, that place is terrible, dude. Nobody goes there. The fucking owner is crazy. She's known to be like a fucking lunatic, apparently. Ooh, I like that.

SPEAKER_07 55:43

That's dinner and a show.

SPEAKER_06 55:45

I know. And he's like, was anybody there when you went? I was like, it was just us.

SPEAKER_07 55:49

Two people came later.

SPEAKER_06 55:51

There was a there was a leaving pretty much.

SPEAKER_05 55:53

It was like snowed the day before, though, right?

SPEAKER_06 55:55

Like crazy.

SPEAKER_07 55:55

Yeah, it was yeah, it was kind of a weather day.

SPEAKER_06 55:57

Anybody goes in there?

SPEAKER_07 55:59

I never see anyone there, but I walk by it every day and I don't see anyone there.

SPEAKER_06 56:02

Especially if you read the Yelp reviews on that. Terrible. Terrible. I mean Marta the owner.

SPEAKER_07 56:08

Marta? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 56:10

Collapsed back like a crazy person at Yelp. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_07 56:13

I mean, Loki, it wasn't that good. It was it was okay. It was I got the best thing. You guys fucked up and didn't get the nice Louisiana French tubes.

SPEAKER_06 56:21

If you can't make regular stuff taste good, yeah, you shouldn't be making stuff at all.

SPEAKER_07 56:26

Well, because you gotta be able to work with crazy Marta. This the staff is on wit's end. Yeah, a lot of quitting. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure there's a huge, I'm sure there's a hurt, huge turnover. I do think it's odd when people know a lot about a place that's bad. I hear it once and then I kind of erase it from my mind. That he has all these details.

SPEAKER_06 56:45

He's a he's a socialite dude. He's talking about a gossip.

SPEAKER_07 56:49

A little Goss, a little Goss Queen. Yeah, that's why you started going above that and be like, yeah, what's the Goss Queen?

SPEAKER_06 56:54

Yeah, I do. He gives it to me from the work.

SPEAKER_07 56:57

Well, ask him ask him what he thinks about the Americas. It's all owed. Oh, I have an opinion. It's owned by all like um uh Middle Eastern people, which a lot of places you still like, oh yeah, the Syrians own that place. Oh yes, they've been buying up a lot of businesses in the Allentown area, which I have no problem with. Whatever. If they make it nice and they provide a good service, knock it out of the park, baby. But um yeah, the food wasn't bad. It's gorgeous in there now. They really redid everything. And I think today, because I went there yesterday, today they were having or yesterday night, they were having like a fashion show in their back ballroom area. And like he's like, and like the one um waitress lady who there's like, yeah, go back and check it out. It's kinda cool, like how we have it set up. And it was just a row of chairs that like on one side or the other side were in a runway down the middle, and like this is kind of fashion week. I wonder how it could go. But this is my next thing. In the basement, they have a club and it's invite only.

SPEAKER_06 57:50

Invite-only club for the Americas.

SPEAKER_07 57:53

For the Americas.

SPEAKER_06 57:54

Let me see what my social A friend is.

SPEAKER_07 57:56

See if you can get social A friend in it. Because he said if you talk to the man the waitress said, if you talk to the manager, he probably could get you in. I'm like, well, first of all, who's the manager? And I'm like, And then what how do I gotta go?

SPEAKER_06 58:06

I'm like, yo man, I'm like, you know, I'm a cool guy ready to party and not say anything.

SPEAKER_07 58:12

Yeah, yeah. So I mean, I kinda wanna check. I think the UTH boys need to go to this exclusive invite. It's gonna be lame. It's probably gonna be all like middle-aged people. Invite only makes it sound exclusive, and that's what makes me want it so much more. So if you if you listen to UTH podcasts and have an invite to um uh the America's basement parties. Like the Freemasons. The Freemasons. If there's cloaks involved, count me in. Count me. Yeah, count me in. Count me in. I'm there cloaking.

SPEAKER_05 58:40

Boys only?

SPEAKER_07 58:41

Dudes only? A dude's paradise? A dude's paradise. A paradisium? Yeah, but um uh I was intrigued by that. I'm like, I didn't know this place even had a basement, let alone that it's a club, let alone that it's invite only. Email us at uth.com. Uthhpodcast at gmail.com with those deeds, folks.

SPEAKER_06 58:59

Give us the deeds.

SPEAKER_07 59:00

Yeah, we won't in. We won't I want in.

SPEAKER_06 59:02

And I all never well, you won't even know. Because it won't be on the podcast.

SPEAKER_07 59:06

Exactly. We won't talk about it unless it's really cool. Then we will. So unless you want us to talk about it and then we'll shill out. And then we'll totally shill out. Yeah, then we'll well that's the thing. I'll we'll talk in um uh, you know, unlike kind of unrevealing terms, like hype it up a little bit for our family. Man, if I could I mean they made us in NDAs when I'm there, but let me tell you, worth every second.

SPEAKER_06 59:29

I mean, you gotta go to the Americana a lot. You gotta spend a lot of money there.

SPEAKER_07 59:32

Americus, not even the Americana. America. Because they be cussing. Because you're allowed to cuss. Because you're allowed to cuss. You're allowed to cuss in there. You can say whatever the hell we want. This is an invite-only party. Damn. Which one of these fuckers? Yeah, but it had me intrigued, to say the least. What's going on with you, Nate? How much oh, I think we got a minute. A minute to win it. What do you got? You got a minute to win it, baby. Dude, I got shit fucking going on with me, man. Besides inviting vampires into your house? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:02

Vampires, new fucking Wi-Fi, dude.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:04

Employee of the month. Employee of the month. Employee of the month. Pizza party? Pizza party?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:08

Is that your first employee of the month? First employee of the month? Damn, bro.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:11

You suck, dude. You've been there for a long time. I've been there for many months. Many, many months. What did you do this month in particular, last month, Rally?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:20

Nothing, bro. I think they just go in and fucking and they look at see who's been here a while and it's been like, oh, I don't think this dude's gotten it. Wow, he is. You know somebody who's won it a bunch. Because I didn't do shit.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:29

Can you win it multiple times? Whack. How are you supposed to fill that shell with employee of the month? They normally do it to the people.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:38

Because they do it to the people who complain a bunch, because then they give them employee of the month and go like, look, you're doing a good job.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:43

That's bullshit. The complainer should never complaining, is not an employee of the month. Exactly, dude. You should be getting because you're the classic silent warrior. Like Jesus Cross carrying the cross.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:52

Silent struggle. Like one of the many freaking buried within the pyramid, dude. Silent warrior. One of the many slaves, yeah. Buried beneath lashes upon lashes on your back.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:01

Blocks of granite, dude. Yeah, yeah. For centuries. Yeah, that's what I mean. You should have your closet should be lousy with those awards. Yeah, man, I don't need those. You gotta send those thinking awards. You gotta start talking to Timang to start being like, just let me get like give me a six-month run.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:17

Oh, I mean, that's guaranteed. No, here's the thing. That's guaranteed what award Tyler becomes manager, and then I get employee the most.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:23

Not right away, though. How long have you been manager? I kind of that I do take Umberg's. So that's what I'm saying. I'd give it first away, all the boys get employed the most. I said I appreciate you. He's like, oh I didn't do anything. I was like, yeah, you liar. He is now the manager? He's been manager. He's been manager for a minute. Nah, he's still there. He lords over Nathan with an iron fist. Yeah, he's he's my boss. My boss's boss.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:44

Yeah, he definitely misspelled your name.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:48

I'd be misspelling your name every time. So it would be funny. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's funny stuff. Like, that's funny. That's what I would tell him. Like, yo, give me a six-month run. I want a couple of those fucking printouts, trophies. Like, come on, give me a few. And spell my name different every time. Different vowels. Give me a full Nathaniel. Because people think it's a full summertime, summertime MVP. Summertime MVP. Back to back to back. And then corporate might come like this guy's six months, half a year dying. You would never want those guys knowing who you are. Well, they would never know because it'd be a different name every time. It could be different, it'd be a slightly different name. A slightly different name every time. Exactly. And that's how much of an employee of the month you are. You don't complain. You're like, yeah, they spell my name wrong. It's whatever. You know what? I might just be a number, but I'm a number that works hard. I put this demon my back. No, it's fun to get a trophy, though. It's fun to get a trophy. It's fun to get a trophy. There was no perks involved. You don't get like a special parking spot or a pizza party. No pizza party. Ah no, no, dude. There's no perks. You just get the trophy. Like, do you get your name on a plaque? Like a bunch of name plates.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:59

Paid day off. I don't know about that. No. That'd be cooler if they would do that, but they're not gonna do that. Trophy.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:06

I'd prefer a paid day off, but trophy. That's crazy. They're not gonna pay. They want you there. You're employee of the month. They're gonna have their employee of the month, a day off, babe. We need you there.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:14

You're gonna have to give them something to get returned.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:17

No, you don't give them anything. You give them the actual minimum, the true minimum you can have. You know how many trophies they probably have of that? They probably had that printed out five years ago. And they're like, when are we gonna give it to this idiot? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Costco is spelled wrong. Fuck it. Whatever. Caska. Casco. Yeah, but you know, well, that's been with Ryan, employee of the month, Nate. That's been our time, folks. Thank you for listening. Keep your head in the swivel for Jeff because he might be on the swivel. He's somewhere. He's somewhere. And let us know about that invite only party. We want in.