💛 Cracked Open with Alanna Banks

Part 1: From Lost to Found: How Self-Trust Changed Everything for Me

• Alanna Banks • Season 2 • Episode 1

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Welcome back to Cracked Open. Today, I'm taking you behind the scenes of my life and opening up about what the last year has been like for me as I've leaned into self-trust. This episode is the first of a raw and honest three-part series filled with moments of clarity, powerful practices, and a whole lot of growth and freedom.

If you've ever felt lost, constantly looking outside yourself for answers, only to realize the validation you crave isn’t out there, you might want to stick around and keep listening.

I’m sharing the real, raw story of how everything changed when I finally chose self-trust over external approval. It wasn’t an easy path—letting go of what others think never is—but it was SO worth it. This shift opened the door to deep, unexpected transformation in my career, relationships, and myself.

Here’s a taste of what you’ll discover in this episode:

  • The Moment of Clarity – How I realized that self-trust was the key to moving forward and why it felt like both a risk and a revelation.
  • The Practices That Built Self-Trust – Simple, life-changing habits and a powerful exercise you can steal.
  • The Surprising Results – Choosing myself led to career breakthroughs, viral moments, deeper connections, and a profound sense of freedom.

Please join me as I walk you through the practices and mindset shifts that helped me transform from feeling lost to truly found. Remember to subscribe—this is just part one of the series! 

If you want to share any insights or revelations from this episode, send me an email at alanna@alannabanks.com or send me a DM on IG @alannabankscoaching.

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Speaker 1:

Have you ever reached a point where you felt like you just couldn't keep relying on everyone else's opinion? Like, deep down, you knew the only way forward was to trust yourself, even if that felt terrifying? Today, I'm sharing the turning point in my own journey the moment I decided to stop looking for external validation and finally go all in on self-trust. Hi everyone, it feels so good to be back behind the mic. It's been a minute since I recorded an episode and, honestly, I needed that space to reconnect with what I know I'm truly here to do, and if you've been following me this past year, you may have seen things shift a bit. Maybe you noticed me pulling back or being more intentional or sharing differently, showing up differently, and I know some of you might have wondered what's she up to? What's going on over there? And the truth is, last November 2023, I made a decision that changed everything. I decided to stop looking for answers outside of myself. I was done with chasing validation, done with constantly wondering if I was doing things quote unquote right in someone else's eyes. I made the commitment to tune into my own inner voice and trust it, even when it was really uncomfortable. I decided it was time to go all in on me and I'll be real. It was hard, stepping back from outside influences, unfollowing people I had once idolized, carving out intentional time to just listen to myself. It was challenging and it was kind of scary, and I knew people might be watching, curious or even skeptical about what I was up to. But I needed that space to quiet the noise and hear what my own voice had to say and the results. Hear what my own voice had to say and the results. They honestly have blown me away.

Speaker 1:

I went viral on Instagram. I gained over 70,000 followers almost overnight. I hit some of my dream financial goals. I worked with really inspiring people. I created my first course and I've honestly felt more aligned and happier than I have in years. My marriage is thriving, I've reconnected with old friends, I've met new friends and I found the missing piece that I've been searching for all along, and you probably know what I'm about to say it's self-trust.

Speaker 1:

So this is actually part one of a three-part series that I'm going to share, really about my own journey, and I'm not just going to talk about the wins and the good stuff. I also am going to talk about the doubts, the discomfort, the practices that have kept me grounded. I want to share the real, raw story with everyone, what's been going on behind the scenes and also how you can start to build a foundation of self-trust, because, trust me, I know what it feels like to be stuck stuck in the cycle of looking to everyone else for the answers, and I know how freeing it is to finally break through and start living from a place of confidence, clarity and alignment. It's awesome, and it almost feels like I'm cheating sometimes. So if you're ready to stop second-guessing yourself and to discover what trusting yourself can unlock in your life, then you're in the right place. Make sure you subscribe to my podcast so that you can catch the full story. I'll be posting two more episodes after this one, and so let's just dive in and start this series. So I want to start by sharing a story with you.

Speaker 1:

There was a time in my life when I was so caught up in looking for answers outside myself that I didn't even realize I was doing it. I was constantly searching for validation. I was devouring every self-help book out there, following people who seemed like they had it all figured out. I thought if I can just learn what they know, then maybe I'll finally feel complete. But there came a point when I couldn't keep up with that anymore. All that searching and listening to everyone else was totally draining me and, instead of feeling inspired or connected, I felt lost. It was like I was losing touch with my own thoughts, my own wants, my own identity, and I couldn't remember what I believed or what I wanted beyond what others were telling me I should be or think.

Speaker 1:

And then something shifted. It wasn't a big aha moment. I didn't have like an epiphany or anything like that. It was just a quiet realization. Honestly, I just thought what if I stopped? What if I stopped asking others what they thought? What if I stopped looking for the quote unquote right way to do something? What if I stopped searching for answers outside myself and instead started tuning into what I thought was best? And that thought honestly felt really freeing but also extremely terrifying. Part of me was excited, but another part of me was like what if I don't know what I'm doing? What if trusting myself isn't enough? I felt this fear, but I also knew that this was the only path that would feel real to me. I was the one that had to give myself permission to stop searching and start listening to my own voice and from that place, things started to change. Little by little, I began to uncover my own truth, without needing someone else to validate it. I started reconnecting with what felt right for me, and that's when I truly began this journey of self-trust, and doing so has been one of the most empowering and grounding decisions that I've ever made.

Speaker 1:

So, right around this time, I also took on a challenge that forced me to sit in my own silence a full hour in complete stillness no music, no walking, no eating, no journaling, no napping, nothing, just me, my thoughts, in a room with four walls. It sounds simple, right, but as I prepared for it, I could feel myself resisting every step of the way, and even though I was the one who was setting this deadline, I found myself avoiding it every single time. I suddenly had a million things to do or all this urgent stuff was needing me in that moment, closed the door, settled in, ready to power through this hour of silence, and let me tell you, it was uncomfortable. The first few minutes felt endless and every part of me wanted to escape. I noticed my mind darting to random thoughts, things I needed to do later, people I should reach out to regrets from years ago. And then, when the thoughts weren't distracting enough, I found myself fidgeting, glancing around the room just looking for anything to occupy my mind. My mind was pulling out all the stops to avoid being fully pleasant in that moment.

Speaker 1:

And here's the thing there was no big aha moment, no enlightening download that made everything make sense. It was just me noticing every little thought, every urge to distract myself, every uncomfortable feeling I'd usually just push aside, and I realized how much I'd come to rely on distraction to avoid just sitting with myself. And the silence really stripped that away. I was just left with everything I'd been avoiding or numbing. But something kind of interesting happened in that messy, awkward stillness. Layer by layer, all the usual distractions started to fall away and underneath them, all the usual distractions started to fall away, and underneath them I was just there. I was there, no-transcript, I was simply just being. It was raw, it was real, it was uncomfortable and it was deeply insightful. Even though I didn't walk out of that room with some kind of magic answer or the secret to life or anything like that. I had just given myself space to exist, to feel and to just be with my thoughts.

Speaker 1:

And this experience. It showed me that choosing self-trust wasn't about waiting for some kind of life-changing epiphany. It was about something far simpler but also a lot more challenging. It was about creating space for my own thoughts and learning to sit with them, even when they were messy or uncertain or full of doubt. And just like you all listening right now, my mind was full of the typical what-ifs that come up when you're about to step into something new.

Speaker 1:

What if I mess up? What if my inner voice isn't as wise as I hope it is? What if I make the wrong choice? What if I regret this? What if people think I'm weird? What if I'm too much? What if I don't make sense? These weren't just passing thoughts. They were real.

Speaker 1:

And for so long I'd been basing so many of my decisions on what others thought or what others believed was right for me. I'd made choices to fit in, to meet expectations, to avoid judgment, but that also meant that I had lost touch with my own voice, with what I really wanted, and unlearning these patterns is no small task In NLP. Into ourselves, our minds push back, and that's why those fears and those doubts come up so strongly. They're our mind's way of trying to keep us safe. But I reached a point where I knew that if I kept letting those doubts control me, if I stayed in the comfort zone, if I kept seeking validation from external sources, then I'd never trust myself, truly trust myself.

Speaker 1:

And I realized that self-trust isn't something that just arrives in a single magical moment. It's built over time, in those quiet moments when we choose to lean in to our own guidance, even if it scares us, when we choose to listen and hear right. It's the choice to hold space for our own thoughts and feelings, without trying to fix them or push them away. And, yeah, it's uncomfortable. Every time I chose to listen to myself over the voices around me, I felt that inner resistance. But the cool thing was I also felt like this quiet strength, like this sense that I was reclaiming something that I'd lost touch with. And little by little, I started to see that my inner voice was worth trusting, that my own wisdom was just as valid, if not more so, than the opinions I'd looked to for so long.

Speaker 1:

So if you're like I am or was I'm still working through it and you're struggling with self-doubt or fear about listening to your own voice, know that those doubts aren't there to stop you. They're just part of the process of unlearning old patterns and creating new ones. Choosing self-trust isn't easy and it's rarely without discomfort, but it's a choice. Every day it's a choice that leads to something real and something so deeply grounding and it's really become a decision that I make over and over to let go of the need for outside validation and to trust that I'm enough. And it's not always smooth and the doubts still come up, but each time I choose self-trust, I'm reminded that this journey isn't about having all the answers. It's about knowing that I'm willing to listen to myself and find my way forward, no matter how uncertain it may seem.

Speaker 1:

So when I decided to make these changes, I started small, with intention. First, I took a close look at the influences around me and I noticed how easy it was for my voice to get lost in the constant stream of perspectives, especially online. So I decided to clear out all of that noise and I unfollowed hundreds of people that I was following on Instagram specifically. And I unfollowed them not because they were wrong, but because I needed room to reconnect with my perspective. Sometimes we need space from others' influence to really hear ourselves, and for me, that was a powerful, powerful step in reclaiming my own inner voice.

Speaker 1:

The next thing I did was I carved out intentional alone time inner voice. The next thing I did was I carved out intentional alone time. I really became very intentional about scheduling pockets in my day to be quiet. And this wasn't about isolating myself, but it was really just about creating space so that I could tune into my own thoughts and feelings. And sometimes I'd journal, sometimes I would let all my thoughts spill out onto the page. Other times I'd sit in silence, just allowing myself to be with whatever came up. Other days I'd go on walks to let my mind settle and see where my intuition led me. And this was kind of interesting because I'd always spent time walking, listening to music or, you know, listening to meditations or something like that. But I became really intentional about just taking silent walks and let me tell you, this is super uncomfortable if you're not used to it. So these small dedicated moments of quiet just helped me build a new connection to my own inner guidance, because in these moments lots of interesting things just kind of come up.

Speaker 1:

And then came the most powerful step. This one is huge. This one is acting on those intuitive nudges. So you know those little sparks of like. I feel like this is the right direction. I just committed to following them. So, even if it felt uncomfortable or risky, I would follow through with an intuitive nudge, and sometimes it was as simple as saying no to something that I would have normally agreed to, and other times it was reaching out for an opportunity that scared the crap out of me but also excited me and, honestly, with each choice, I was strengthening my self-trust and building confidence in my ability to make a decision that was aligned with my truth. And sometimes these things didn't make sense, or sometimes they came completely out of left field, but I would take action on them anyway. So you know, this is all sounded really awesome, right, really good.

Speaker 1:

But I want to be real with you, because it wasn't all smooth sailing, letting go of external validation. It felt incredibly freeing, but it was also extremely terrifying, and there were moments when doubt crept in and I questioned everything. I would constantly be asking myself is this the right choice? Is it wise to tune into my own voice instead of relying on the guidance of others? But what I began to understand was that the fear wasn't a sign I was off track. It was actually part of the process and a natural response to stepping into the unknown, because with each step forward, I started to feel these subtle shifts and I became a little bit more comfortable with the uncertainty and a little bit more confident in my decisions.

Speaker 1:

I started realizing that self-trust is about building a relationship with yourself where you know that, no matter what, you have your back. It's knowing that, even if things don't go as planned, you're capable of navigating through it, and that, to me, is freedom. It's the ability to make choices aligned with your own truth, without needing anyone else's approval. It's realizing that you're fully capable of living life on your terms, even when it feels uncertain and it feels really sneaky. It feels really sneaky and it's almost like a cheat code, especially if you're someone who's always kind of looked to the external world for validation or like. Am I doing this right? So here's something that I want to offer you.

Speaker 1:

If you're in a place where you feel like you're seeking too much validation from others or relying on external guidance, I want you to try this simple exercise. It's called the inner check-in and it's really designed to help you tune into your own voice, and this practice is something that I do a lot, so you're going to set aside just like five minutes. You could do this in the morning, you can do this before bed, you could do this like really any time of day, but set aside about five minutes where you can be alone with your thoughts and then think of an area in your life where you're looking for guidance. For me, in particular, it was around my work, but for you maybe it's a decision you're trying to make, or maybe it's a challenge you're working through, or you know something that you would usually seek advice on.

Speaker 1:

Just bring that question to mind and then close your eyes and take a few deep breaths and ask yourself what do I need to know about this right now? And just observe whatever thoughts or feelings come up. You might hear something specific, it might feel like more of like a feeling or an instinct. Immediately, whatever it is, just trust that it's exactly what you need right now, no matter how subtle or quiet, and then thank yourself for listening. And this step is really important Acknowledging yourself for showing up and being there for yourself and opening up and hearing your own wisdom.

Speaker 1:

This needs to be acknowledged, because when you're acknowledging that part of yourself, you're also inviting it to share more with you the next time, because this is how self-trust grows, right. It's like incremental. It grows in these small, intentional moments. So the more time you spend with yourself listening, the more it will serve up. So take that exercise with you. I like to do it in the shower, like as soon as I'm up in the morning. I just ask myself in the shower, because that's where I get the most intuitive nudges.

Speaker 1:

I guess you could say Just take that time, bring the question to mind, ask yourself what do I need to know about this right now, and observe without judgment what comes up. And when you're quiet and you create that intentional space, something surfaces and it may shock you, it may be like what. I don't know if I can do that, but okay. And then take action on it and acknowledge yourself for showing up for yourself and listening. Before we wrap up, just know that self-trust isn't built overnight and that's okay. Every time you check in with yourself, every time you allow your own voice to lead, you're strengthening that trust. So just take it one step at a time and remember that you already have everything you need to guide you. It's really a matter of clearing everything out of the way so you can hear it. I'm going to stop there.

Speaker 1:

We're going to go into more information next episode, but thank you so much for joining me today. If you found this episode helpful or inspiring, or if you're going to try the exercise, or if you've tried the exercise and you had insight, I'd love to hear about it. Feel free to email me at alanna at alannabankscom, or you can reach out to me on Instagram at alannabankscoaching. If you love this episode, please rate it or review it, because I'm going to be sharing more of this. This is part of the intuitive nudge that told me you got to get back on the podcast. So this is just the beginning, and next time, in part two, we're going to dive in deeper into this journey of self-trust and explore the ripple effect, like how this work, how this self-trust has transformed my life and my business. So until then, remember to trust yourself. You've got this. I'll speak to you all next time.