"A History of Violence" - Life in the Back of The Yards interview w/ Roger Cadena

My guest Roger Cadena shares his story and the events that shaped his life growing up in the "Back of the Yards" neighborhood on the South Side of Chicago.  He witnessed a lot of violence as a youth, which eventually led him to become a perpetrator and victim of violence himself. He ends up doing time in prison and struggles to do right upon his release. He witnesses first hand God transform his older brother from a violent man, drug addict to becoming a man of God. And Roger begins to question if maybe God can do that in his life as well?  

Transcript

Omar 0:16

Welcome to another episode of Wrong to Strong Chicago. My name is Omar Calvio. I want to thank my guest Roger Catena for joining us today. He's gonna start us out in a prayer. So I'm gonna throw it over to my brother and let him get, kick this out with some prayer.

Roger 0:31

Yes. I just want to give glory to the Lord first, you know, just for giving me the opportunity to be here. And I thank you again, Omar, for just for the personal invite. You know, it means a lot just being here and just sharing what the Lord is doing here. Heavenly Father, we just come before you in the name of Jesus, and we ask you to be present. We ask that it is you that would be glorified. I pray that the words that come outta my mouth and the meditations of my heart would be acceptable to your sight. I pray that your kingdom will come and your will be done. Father, everything that is said here is said here because you deserve the glory of Father and you're the one that orchestrates, you're the one that changes. You're the one that transforms you, human beings God. And we're so grateful here, father, for what you're doing here and what you're gonna do and how you're gonna be able to impact minister to other people out there that are lost, that are that need, a word of encouragement. So Father, we praise you. We bless you in the name of Jesus Christ our savior. Amen. Amen.

Omar 1:31

Amen. That it takes a lot for that brother. Uh, man. Hey, you're the first guy that comes on this podcast and kicks us off with prayer. Hey, thanks for that man. That's one thing we'll never turn down on here cuz I need prayer and I'm sure there are listeners out there need some prayer as well. So thanks for that

Roger 1:46

brother. No

Omar 1:46

thank you brother. Right, man. So, so we're gonna get started. You wanna introduce yourself to the people listening,

Roger 1:51

Absolutely. Yeah. My name is Roger Ka. I'm a married man. I'm been married for 21 and a half years. My wife is Ana Kaena. We actually have four boys, a 31, a 29, a 23, and a 22. So I've been blessed with four boys. I have three grandchildren at the ages of seven, five, and two. So, um, I'm actually a tax preparer, immigration preparer, notary, public. Yes. All three titles and one, one business. I act actually do investments as well, so I do a little bit of everything. You know, I have rental properties. I do an Airbnb, so I am a businessman. At one time I was a businessman in the world, you know, on the devil's payroll, but now I'm just doing it for the glory of God, so I'm. Less and I'm so super grateful what he has gave me in my life.

Omar 2:42

Hey man, Matt, thanks for sharing that brother. Uh, you wanna tell us, uh, what part of Chicago did you grew up in? Uh, what was that neighborhood called? And maybe if you could describe that area for those people that didn't grow up in

Roger 2:54

Chicago. Absolutely. Yeah. I was, um, born and raised in Chicago, south side. We were called the Southwest side. Uh, the neighborhood was called back of the Yards. It's located around 47th and Ashland. I was born and raised on 47th and Loomis at that time, um, it was, you know, the neighborhood was changing. It was pretty much still a lot of Polish living there, but, uh, I would say 60% was Hispanic, 40%. Caucasians, you know, and, um, the neighborhood, little by little started changing. It wasn't as like a, like a little village or a Pilsen, if you're not familiar with those areas. Those were 90% more or less Latinos and very gang affiliated over here. It was getting worse and a little by little, I'll say, from growing up, from 1979 to like 1986, it just skyrocketed with more violence, more crimes, and more gang banging on the streets.

Omar 3:53

Okay. And then that area. Huh? Now what about like, your, your childhood, what are some memories or like something that you could remember about that neighborhood? Maybe, you before it got bad, like,

Roger 4:03

okay. Yeah. Great question. Yeah. Growing up, um, I was raised, um, Catholic. My mom started going to church, so she started bringing me around to this one Christian Church called Ashburn Baptist. One of the things was I had to go, you know, it's not like I wanted to go. So she used to drag me along and yeah, we used to go, me and my sister Becky, um, I was raised pretty much. My sister Becky was three years older than me. Um, I was a pretty good kid. I played baseball, I did BMX bike riding. I, I started getting involved with break dancing. And then I used to play a lot of baseball. That's one thing I was like, every day in the summer, we were just out there playing baseball, you know, fast pitching. And it, it was a fun thing, you know? And we had some good, uh, friends there that influenced me in a good way. But there was some other people that came around the neighborhood that came actually from, um, Pilsen. And they started turning people out, you know, into a gang, okay. Called the Saint Disciples. And at the time it was like, um, it was a cool thing. It was like, wow, check this out. Look, let's look what's going on. And one of my buddies, um, my best friends actually, he's my little jazzy, says, Hey man, I want introduce you to the, These two guys, man, you know, these guys want to get a chance to meet us. And dude, I think it's something, you know, might be up our alley. So, uh, me and my boy Rick Dog, resting peace went, um, we talked to these guys and, um, individuals were called Slow, and Capone Capone, resting Peace. And, um, they started talking to us. And sooner than you know, it, we be, you know, we got turned out. And um, and yeah, we just started hanging around with them and in the beginning it's like everything else, you know, okay. It's, it's cool, we're drinking, you know, smoke a little bit of weed, you know, living a lifestyle of, uh, messing around with the girls. And, and I started staring away from the baseball life, the, the BMX bike riding with the tricks and all that. And, um, yeah, break dancing was still around or hit was just about ready to get started, but it was like, This was cool. This was the thing to do, you know, they didn't know better. Right. You know, here and arrow, you know, take some acid. And we started messing around with a little bit of cocaine. So little big little started getting worse in, in the habits of just the street life. Gotcha.

Omar 6:24

Now how old were you when you turned out? When was this

Roger 6:27

approx? I probably, I probably was like 14 years old. Yes. 14 years old. When I started messing around, I experiment. My first drug was of course was weed. And one of my boys, Rick Dog, um, his name was Rick. Um, but of course we used to call him Rick Dog. Yeah, yeah. And Hunter was his, was deal double G Absolutely. Yeah. That brother just like, loved to smoke weed and it was my boy and he, he would die for me. My dying, you know, dying ride. Yeah. He, you know. Right, right. And I would die for him. And I remember just getting into it with different rival gangs in it. You know, I had his back, he had my. So it, it, it was starting to get real crazy

Omar 7:04

out there right at at 14. You know what, babe? Before we get more into that, which we are, can you tell us about your family? Like how were things at home as you were growing up? Can you describe was mom and dad in the picture? How did it look? How were things inside of

Roger 7:18

your home? Yes. I know you asked about that. And, um, I know my mom, good Christian woman. I mean, one of the things was, is she was, uh, her, her faith was Catholic based and, um, she had, she was going through a separation with my father didn't realize that, you know, I was a kid and all, all I did realize was Ma wasn't sleeping with daddy anymore. But when you're a kid at 8, 9, 10 years old, you thought, okay, it's normal. You know, dad likes to go ahead to another room, read the newspaper, chill, don't wanna be bothered. So my mom used to sleep in a separate room. I didn't understand what really was going on and I really, I just, it didn't affect me. It didn't phase me. But I did know, one thing is my mom always told me, you need to honor your father. My father was, uh, an old Marine, you know, a retired Marine, and, uh, he was pretty rough, you know, getting brought up in that household. Thank God he really wasn't around. But then again, it would've been good if he was around, cuz I know he would've stirred me in the right direction. But by him not being around, I did what I wanted and I was sort of a mama's boy, I'll be honest with you. Yeah, my mom, you know, I used to get away with a lot of stuff. I was the baby. Okay? So, out of all my siblings, it was me, my sister Becky, who's three years older than me, my sister Belinda, who's four years, seven years, excuse me, older than me, Rick 12, uh, Michael 17, and my sister Irma 18, which died of cancer. So we all were born and raised in that house. And, um, it was difficult. The reason why, cuz we didn't realize this until maybe like until I was 13, that my dad just took off. Okay. That was it. He was gone. And, um, he used to get my ma 70 bucks a week, 70 bucks these days might like two 10 a week. But remember he was raising six of us. Yeah. You know, and I think about that time, uh, my sister Irma was an epileptic, so she was still like a kid in her own mindset, the way she used to think. Micah was a drug addict. He was an old, um, gang banger himself, old drug addict. He used to be, he was shooting up heroin and doing cocaine, doing every drug in the book, you know, so he was a hot mess. And my brother Ricky was had, he was the one that had a good head on his shoulder. And about the time too, I think he stepped out and he went to the, um, to the Navy. And then Belinda and Becky were, which were like three years and seven years older than me. Were like my older sisters and I like to hang out with them. So, and they were about to party life too. Okay. So that's all we did. We partied, by the time I was 15, 16 years old, we were going out and I'm hanging around with 19, 20, 21 year olds, you know, with fake IDs going to bars with my older sisters. Right, right. So, so that's what pretty much the way we were raised, you know, like my teenage years. And they both had boyfriends where they, they were part of the clique. They were part of the boys, you know. Okay. And they were my brother-in-laws. So the whole house was affiliated some form of way. And all we did down in the basement, you know, was get high. That was our lifestyle. We had no life. That's it. What get up, listen to, um, back then as 1 0 2 0.7 fm before B 96 even came into effect, put on the hot mix. And start sparking up. Right, right. In the morning. And we wouldn't get up until like 11 30, 12 o'clock. That was our life. Okay. Even remember my nephews, my nephews were, were kids. They used to come by me. And, um, I used to have'em dance in a B 96, oh, excuse me, 1 0 2 0.7. What was that? W bmx? What was that? Yeah, W bms. Yeah. W bmx. Yeah. Gotcha. Yeah. I got, yeah, old school

Omar 10:53

right there. Absolutely. Yeah. So, man, so that was the life. Now let me ask you this. Do you feel like, uh, dad not being in the picture made it easy for all of you, like you, your sisters, to just basically do what you want?

Roger 11:04

Yeah, it was like pops. Uh, he was, he was rough, you know, he was very, uh, disciplinarian, um, by him not being around because we didn't know this, but he went ahead left. And at the same time I had half brothers. So he was still married to my mom, but he created another family apart from that. So this is what his, this is what he was doing. He was never really around. He was a workaholic. That's one thing. He always had a strong work ethic. but his life revolved around work. Right. You know, so kids were like second, third place in his life, you know, and but anything he said we had to do. So even at times when he would want us to go to the office to do errands for him, you know, I was like, man, when I found out, you know, what he was doing, what he was about. Like, you know what my, I ain't going, you know, what do you respect him? I ain't gonna, how can I respect? She goes, no, she's still your father. Respect him. Honor your father. Wow. That's biblical. At the time I didn't know. Yeah. And my mom was just a good woman of Christ and she was just, no, listen to your father. So I would go there, you know, I would be pretty much, he was telling me to do all these dirty work for him. What I mean by that is just sweeping and mopping, cleaning walls, corners, you name his, uh, shoveling the slow, uh, windows. You, you name it, you know. Okay. It was just having a strong work ethic. Now I get it. Yeah. Because now I have a strong work ethic. Right, right. And I remember those traits, what he was trying to teach me. But back then, no, no. I'm like slaving for my pops and yeah, he slave driven me. He was. Right, right, right. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Omar 12:41

I mean, you know what's funny cuz my, my dad was the same way, you know, I remember we used to like party when we were like, me and my, my younger brother, we used to go three, four, or five in the morning. I remember one time we came to our house and we were all as out man. Yeah. We came home and man, we tried to go to sleep at six in the morning. Here comes my dad. He, he, he knew we got, we had just got home 7:00 AM woke us up and put us to work in the house. Man took us in the yard. He's like, okay, you guys wanna be partying all night long, gonna get to work. And man, just exhaust. Of course I hated it. Me and my brother hated it. But I look back. Man, you're gonna work. You wanna party hard, you gonna work hard. But I definitely understand where you're,

Roger 13:25

you're coming from play. You wanna play, you're gonna pay. That's it. That's just

Omar 13:28

the way it was. Yeah. That's crazy, man. Okay, man. So, so, so back to it, man. You were just getting high. Now, now you, you mentioned these guys came over there from Pilsen. Now was, was that gang like, uh, fresh to that neighborhood at that point? Was it, was it just getting established or was it already there?

Roger 13:43

Actually it was just that mob was getting established, you know, um, there was big, you know, it was 24th, 18th, and Cal Oakley, where they originated, um Okay. Branches of St. Disciples. So 51st was, uh, a new branch coming around. Okay. So pretty much we started it off right on the south side. Okay. And back then it was for. To 10 of us. Right. You know, and that mob, by the time from 1984 to like 1987, there was a good a hundred, 150, I can't remember, but people were getting locked up. People were getting killed already. Yeah. But approximately like a hundred, 150. Okay. So something that came from nothing. Yeah. We started off and it blew up.

Omar 14:27

Yes. Right. Now, let me ask you this. So it, it was like starting off back then, you mentioned six, maybe 10 guys, and I'm sure there was already gangs already in those areas, right? Yes. How, could you give us some stories about what, what happens when somebody tries to start a new gang and basically, I'm sure there was other guys or other gangs already around Yeah. Or wanna share some stories about that one.

Roger 14:47

Well, around the neighborhood, the only thing I could think of was, um, that were pretty much our enemies were, we had the, the bishops from 50th and we had the, the kings, and of course we had the Saints. Saints been around for a long time. So there was always something popping, man. You know, there was always something going on where there's, it was always like some form of violence, you know, uh, happening around the neighborhood. So, um, and then there was the Latin souls too, I remember. And one of the things I do remember that was, that got really ugly was more like a 19 86, 87. I'm gonna share a little story. Yeah.

Omar 15:24

Go, go ahead. No, yeah,

Roger 15:25

yeah. That's what we're here to do. So, um, we were like, um, we were both called folks, you know, you know, and we were affiliated with the folks. And you had your folks, you had your people, and then the joint, we were cool, you know, that's just the way it is. We, we were brothers, you know, but out in the streets we were good. But it became a power struggle because the souls were pretty big at that time. And he originated from Sherman Park, but then he moved to Cornell Park. He moved to Cornell Park, and that's when, um, we were from Cornell Park too. And there were some tutu boys there from Cornell Park. Okay. And, um, Man, just pride, egos, you know, everything was good. One day we were at a party and, um, it was actually at my sister's house. It was on 53rd and Walk could have found I'm mistaken. And all you heard, we were just like, you know, it was ready, like one in the morning and all you heard was boat mobs representing, you know, one was saying so love the other was saying, D love, so love. So they were just trying to overpower the other one. And then while we're dancing, you know, all it took was just one person, you know, two hot heads, you know? Yeah. To push the other one. All of a sudden a fight broke out in that party and um, all you heard was right away gunshots, boom, boom, boom, boom. And uh, everybody ducked. Everybody pretty much ran out the house. Soon as they ran out the house, there was just a fight happening. It was at. 40 to 50 men out there fighting just humbugging out there. I was in the house, I was chilling, you know, and my sisters were grabbing me, telling me, don't go, don't go. You know, chill. You know? And I was like, f that, you know, I, I gotta go out there, I gotta go out there, you know, see what's up. And they were like, no, no, stop it. So I, they had me against the wall, my sisters, and I remember I pushed one of them and right away I opened up the window cause it was like a second floor window. And I jumped out. It wasn't that high, like 10, 12 feet Yeah. Or whatever. I jumped out the window right away. I just got right into the mix. Started humbugging. All of a sudden you just heard like around four or five pistols going off. They were just blasting away. And I remember I was in the, in the corner and I was humbugging with two dudes. And, um, all I felt at the time was, Was just like something hot in my stomach, you know? It was like on the side. I actually got three marks right here. And, um, I remember getting the bleeding from the head cuz I got stabbed in the head and I got shot twice and I got stabbed. All this happened all in, in this fight. And, um, when all this happened, everybody just started running once the gunshot started going right. So I ran too and I remember I had a canary yellow and I didn't know what was going on. I just felt the heat, uh, you know, I was just awful of adrenaline. And I ran down a gangway and I went back to my sister's house and of course you have the, the night lights. And I looked and I had a canary yellow shirt on and all I saw was rips in my shirt and I saw nothing but blood, red blood on his canary yellow shirt. And I, and right there. And then I just started feeling the burning sensation and um, my sisters and them looked out the window and they started screaming. And I, you know, I told'em, shut up. You know, it's, I'm, I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm too cool for school, you know? And so, um, right away they called the ambulance and I just started feeling this burning. I, I went basically like on the floor sitting there and I was holding onto my stomach. And of course they were just, they were all nervous. Worked up. Ambulance came, uh, took us in the ambulance. I remember even going in the ambulance and when I was going in there, there was one of the Latin souls that was shot up. Uh, his name is Bonehead. I think he's locked up for 40 years for a murder. And now he is. But when I was walking in the ambulance, it was like we started Humbugging, even though we were both, he was shot up all on the face with, with shotgun, with pellets, you know? And then I was all like, shot up and we started fighting in the A and they separated us. So it was pretty crazy. That was, as a young kid growing up. Yeah, man.

Omar 19:33

So, so, okay. You go in the ambulance, go to the hospital. Well, what was the, the. How bad were you hurt? What was the damage there?

Roger 19:40

Well, thank God, no liver damage, no lung damage. Um, you know, I was in there for like, around six days was released. Um, they stitched me up, you know, they took the bullets out. They stitched me up. Of course, the, the knife wounds was in the head and, and like, like my lower back, thank God. It was just like a, they didn't get a full puncture, you know? And same thing with the gunshot wounds. It just went like, it, it skinned me, but it did penetrate, you know, it went in and came out and, and thank God, you know, and I remember my mother, she was a born again Christian, and she was like, you know, grass praise the Lord, you know? And I was like, man, I don't wanna hear that man. They, these don't know how to shoot, you know, they don't know how to off anybody, you know? Hey, thank God for that. Yeah, but it was one of those things where, They didn't know, you know, I didn't realize it was only through God's grace, through the prayers of a righteous woman. It's powerful and affected. And she used to get on her knees daily at, at 10 o'clock in the morning, five o'clock in the afternoon, and at 10 o'clock at night praying for her children because her children were going astray. And they were, you know, they were getting eaten up in that world out there. And the enemy just had us like puppets,

Omar 20:57

man. Yeah, man. That's crazy man. They thank God for your mom there. So, okay, man, that happens that day. Could you tell us what, what else ended up happening? I know you mentioned. You, you were talking about the folks, the gangs, and then you mentioned something about jail, how they get along in jail. So does that mean that you eventually end up there? You wanna tell us maybe what,

Roger 21:17

what led you there? Yeah, absolutely. Well, I was just out there and I remember my thought life was just, um, I was all in, you know? And, um, I used to have a thought pattern, you know, it was crazy because we were called Satan Disciples and, you know, I used to think devil's the main satanism. Um, you know, I'd be tripping on acid and just, just freaking out and just wanting to do evil things. One of the things that really got me is one of my boys, he was my brother-in-law. Remember I mentioned one of my brother-in-laws, um, one day, this is another story I wanna share with you. Okay. And this is what really did me, like in mentally, you know, like it just, I, I was just like out to kill was, um, he was at the house and I had just came back. It was like 10 o'clock. Cause one of my, I remember coming home from school, from Kelly High School, I was on the bus and one of my guys just got out of the joint, you know, well, the county Yeah. Right, right. And I saw him and he was walking down the street. So I, you know, I screamed out his name, he says, Hey, what's up dog? You know? And I said, what's up? So, um, I, you know, I says, man, I'm gonna jump off the bus. Ended up jumping off the bus and think about it, I'm only like 18 years old. Okay. But we had fake IDs, so we ended up going to this bar, playing pool, hanging out. And, um, anyways, we were just, you know, living it up, celebrating he's out. We walked back to my house, he says, you know what, I'm gonna take off, man, you know? I said, cool. Went home. And my boy, uh, Chicky was like, Hey, what's up bro? What you doing? I said, nothing. I'm just gonna chill. He goes, come on man. Let's go out. Let's go have a few drinks. It's around 10 45. I'm only 18, 17, 18 years old. And I was like, nah, no bro, I'm just gonna chill. And he was like, bro, come on. Quit being a punk. Let's go. And I was like, no, no, I'm good. So he goes, Hey, do me a favor. Can I borrow your jacket? I says, yeah, go ahead. Borrow my jacket. Gave him the jacket. Took off. Cool. You know, next day, um, around 2 45, the detectives came knocking on my door, you know, and um, they pretty much had my jacket in their hand, full of blood and stab wounds. We found out. And they had mentioned that my brother-in-law, Chicky got stabbed 17 times. In the chest and they murdered him in an alley. And man, it was devastating at that time. You know, I, I remember the pain and, you know, just feeling lost and just feeling nothing but revenge in my mind. I remember seeing my sister crying and, um, my, my mother was crying because she was already, like, embraced him. And I didn't think about it at that time. But can you imagine if I would've went out with him that night? It could have been me. Or maybe he could have been alive. Don't know man. Yeah, yeah. Right. But God had different plans, you know, and then he was with my jacket, you know, and, um, that at that period of time I sort of flew to Coop. That was it, you know, nothing stopping me. And I used to think to, in my mind, I'm gonna kill them before they kill me. And this is what was registered in my mind. I'm gonna kill them before they kill me. Right. I'm gonna, I used to, you know, meditate on this. I'm gonna kill them before they kill me. And that was my mindset, man. Right. As a child and 17, 18 years old man. Yeah. Okay. No,

Omar 24:46

you know, thanks for sharing that. I think it's very important for people to understand, like the mindset back then, I know that's not the mindset now, but to look back and to realize, man, you were at a point where you could carry less. And like you mentioned, like even like meditating, declaring that like, man, I'm gonna get them before they get me. And speaking, you know, the Bible says the tongue has the power of life and death, you know, so you're speaking all this negativity, you're speaking all this murder and just being surrounded, by all this darkness. And yeah, I mean it makes sense that that's the path that you would lead. So also you're out there, you know, that happens, I'm sure that's going back and forth. People are getting hurt, you know, from, from your side and the other side. So what, ends up happening that you end up behind bars?

Roger 25:28

So being out there, um, That was my mindset. And I always had some, I always had a weapon on me. You know, back then, like now, everybody had, you know, carrying a pistol. Now back then it was, it was a gun too pistol, or it was a knife, a blade, you know. And, um, ended up going to this one party. And, um, I had the knife, you know, with me, and I remember I was up for like a, like two days just partying, just, you know, and it was just like this anger within me. The only thing that I do, do know is, um, is we ended up getting into a fight, you know, with this one guy and I had a beef against him. And, uh, you know, I pulled out the knife and I stabbed him you know, do I, do I regret it now? Yes, I do. Definitely. You know, it's, it's something, um, that I regret at the time. It was, is something that happened. Right. You know, this is life. I'm protecting myself, you know? Right. Like I said, I'm gonna kill them before they kill me. I remember after I did that, I didn't realize what happened. I got hit with a garbage can lid and, and, um, and I was like swinging around with, with the blade. And, and then, um, my sisters were there again, you know, and couple other friends, you know, grab me and they sit and they were like, wake up, snap out of it. You know, I, I was, I, I, I lost it. Like anybody that was around me, I probably would've tried to shank him. And, um, they said, let's go, let's go. And then when I looked like I started running, I looked back, dude was underground, bloody, and took off and. Um, I was in the run for quite some time for like around six days. Ended up turning myself in cuz I believe that was something, you know, my dad gave me an ultimatum, this was the thing and my dad jumped in the picture cuz my mos says, look man, if we are losing our son, you're out there, you know, doing what you're doing. Yeah. You're over here looking out good, you know, in the work field having all this success, but what about your kid? Gotcha. What you gonna do about it? You know, I can't do it anymore. And we ended up meeting up for breakfast and he was telling him, well I'll give you an ultimatum. What do you want to do? I help you out with your case or you gotta go to Mexico, but you gotta stay at Mexico for seven years. You know, back then I guess that was the law, you have to be away okay for a certain period of time. And we already found out dude, who was screwed up for life, you know? So, um, I said, um, man, You can get an attorney from me. I didn't wanna go to Mexico. Right. You know, I wanted to stay here. And I was, and he was like, yeah, I'll get you an attorney. You know, we'll, you know, turn yourself in. Uh, I'll pay your bond, get you out, but you gotta come over with me. Okay. And I was like, all right, cool. I can do that. So we turn ourselves in and I had a cousin that was a cop, older cousin, officer Lopez. He was there, you know, make sure that everybody treated me well. Yeah, yeah. Went in the system, um, you know, went to the county, posted bail, got out, went with my dad. Stood there. That only lasted like a week and a half. Okay. You know, cuz back then there was another group of sds, 40 sevens of sister and I started hanging around with them and he found out about that. Okay. And he started snapping at me and I

Omar 28:49

Is is, is that where your dad lived? Out

Roger 28:51

there. Okay, gotcha. He lived on 45th and Keating. Okay. Yeah. So he got word that I was hanging out with them bums. That's what he said, Hey, around with them bums because you're never gonna learn, you know? Right. And I was like, you know what, I'm outta here. Ended up jumping on the bus, going back to my MO and, and just living it again. And sooner or later, you know, um, of course I'm bonding. I fought the case, thank God I copped out. Okay. For seven years, you know, it was three and a half, right. Was facing anywhere from six to 30 and ended up getting locked up. And it was like a learning experience, something I wanted to learn from. It was weird. I was young, but I wanted to learn what's gonna take to be a man, you know? Gotcha. And get locked up in a joint. You know, I used to hear the stories from the older cats and it was like, yeah, I wanna learn this. I wanna know about it. You

Omar 29:36

know, you bring up something good. Uh, cuz when you're young it's like what does it take to be a man? You know? And you think, let's say, oh man, you know, getting your first girl, you know, your first woman and this, but man, a lot of guys that grew up in the neighborhood, it's almost like you mentioned earlier about the guy had had just came out, right? Yeah, buddy. You know, he did some time even though he was in the county, but man, like, it's almost like you look up to these guys cause they come out, they got the muscles. Yeah, they're swollen. Like, man, that, that's a man right there. More

Roger 30:07

tattoos. J tattoos.

Omar 30:09

Yeah. I don't know, it's almost like, well, well what do they call it? They got the stripes. It's almost like, it's almost like they went to war and they came back and we celebrate'em. Right? Like and then you look up to'em. Yeah, you look up to'em. I remember like growing up, like watching American Me Uhhuh, that's a movie that, that really like influenced me. Like, man, look at. You know, the jail life, blood and blood out was mine So, man, it is funny that you say that. Like, man, I wanted to learn, but in almost like to be a man. Yeah. Like, like if you make it through the joint, it's like, man, now you're a man. You know, I went in there, survived and that makes, I figured it out. Yep. But man, you wanna tell us about your experience? Okay. You, you, you capped out seven years. Where did you go from there?

Roger 30:50

I ended up going, um, Joliet back then. That was a processing, right? Uh, went to Sheridan for like, around, I think a year and a half. Sheridan was just like a, like a, like a mini stayville. It was a bunch of just, uh, young bucks. Just wanted to just fight. Okay. It was a little crazy down there, you know, it was on lockdown a few times. And then I ended up getting transferred to Dixon, which was one of the best things that happened to. Dixon was like a media max, but there was a lot of older Gs there. When I say older G, they were like more or less people that already was in there for 8, 10, 12, 15 years, but are still, you know, got like 40, 50 year bids, you know? Right. But it was, back then, it was time and a half, meaning if you got 40 years, you gotta do 20. So some of them had 10, 12 years in, so they were experienced and they came from the Menards, the Stayville, and the Pontiacs. So I carried myself very well. So they taught me a lot on, you know, how to live in there and how to act. And they used to always tell me like, dude, bro, you're blessed. You know, you only got seven years, three and a half, right? He goes, bro, you're not a dummy. You know, go out there, get right with yourself. Get right with life. And, uh, I, you know, I, I used, I took their advice. So with these guys,

Omar 32:06

these guys, were they telling you like, to get out the gang or No, no, not to get out the gang, but like, what? Gang, gang bang,

Roger 32:13

right. Or what gang Yeah. Gang bang. Right.

Omar 32:16

What, what does gang bang Right. Be

Roger 32:19

I, if you're gonna do something, do it smart. You know, do it wise. That's all. You know what?

Omar 32:25

People in there is funny. They always talk about how the mistakes

Roger 32:28

they made. Yeah. How to get

32:29

caught

Omar 32:30

How next time they're gonna still break the law, commit crime, but they're not gonna get caught. Right? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, they're telling you that, and man, you say you're learning from now what are some of the things that they showed you as far as like, how you gotta carry yourself in there, I

Roger 32:46

guess. Mm-hmm. Well, one of the things was, um, couple of the dudes was like, man, you gotta go to school. And, and this was legit stuff. Go to school, you know, work out on yourself. Make sure, watch your tongue. What you say, you know, you know, try to, you know, keep your temper low, learn how to talk to the officers, you know, this way you're respected. Okay. You know, carrying yourself like a man, so it really not acting like a knucklehead. Gotcha. And, and, yeah. Yeah. I mean it was, it was more like, um, disciplining myself how to ba basically surviving the joint. Yeah. Because remember when you're in, she, you're in like a young buck camp where these guys are just humbugging and they didn't know how to act. Then you go over there and these are older guys who are trying to teach you a little bit about how to be, like a more wiser older gang banger. It's more, more or

Omar 33:31

mature. Yeah. Mature or, or organized.

Roger 33:34

More organized. Yes. Structure. You know, like, and if you get outta pocket, you're gonna get served hard. By By, by your own. By your own. Gotcha. With a violation. Right. You know, so you don't wanna get a violation in there, especially from

Omar 33:45

the big guys. I'm sure a lot of guys were pretty big doing all that time. Absolutely. Uhhuh, Okay, so, you end up doing your, three years? Yeah. Three and a half years. You get out now the, the jail change you or what, happens when you

Roger 33:57

get out? Came out, uh, super excited, you know, fresh for the joint, you know, you know, they say calling, you know, hitting the bricks, you know, that's what they called it. Yeah. And, um, it changed me in some form of way. I remember on the way home from the joint and just thinking about, you know, I was in the back of the, of my uncle's car. He passed away and my mom was there too, which passed away. And, and I was just thinking to myself, like, and I remember this song, um, I forgot who sings it, but Wasted all those years, wasted all those tears. Simply red, I think saying it. Okay. And I remember I was taking a nap in the back. I was just tired cause I couldn't sleep the night before you get out. Yeah. And um, I remember the song was on and I was laying there and I was like, you know, thinking to myself, I wasted all these years, wasted all these tears. And even when you're in there, you know, I had ladies that broke bat on me and while they were with me, you know, when I was in there I had a girlfriend and she was out there cheating, doing her thing, but whatever. That's life. You know? But you know, it was the heartbreak that you go through cuz you can't do nothing about it. You're in there, you know, and, and I started thinking about, you know, I remember looking at my parents, well more like my mom, my uncle, and how they were all getting older and I'm still like 22 years old. You know, like, like trying to figure out life and sooner later, knowing that they're not gonna be around any longer because they were like, You know, 70, 65, 70 years old. Cause remember I was the baby. Yeah, yeah. Gotcha. You then had my grandma, that was like in the eighties. And, and it was just one of those things like trying to figure out how do I live life? You know, how am I gonna do this? And one of the things I like to do, I used to like cooking. Okay. So I ended up getting a job as a cook. And I did that for like, around 12 years. Oh man. 12 years of my life as a cook. Gotcha. I, I worked at this restaurant called The Candlelight. Then I ended up at Red Lobster for like 10, 11 years. Oh man. But here was the thing, I was out, I was fresh. I, you know, I felt like I always had like a drinking problem because I would start drinking and I was going out clubbing and stuff and partying and, and back then, you know, I would say cocaine was my cup of tea, you know? All right. And, um, that's what I was doing. Sooner or later, you know, I wanted to, you know, as a cook, you only make so much money. So I got introduced to, to, to dealing, selling. Gotcha. So I started, you know, working and, uh, at the same time I'm working, but I'm like using, so only thing I could tell you is my habit got worse. Okay. For the years. Yes, man. Mm-hmm.

Omar 36:47

So you, that's the first thing they tell you. Don't get high of your own supply, man. Easy

Roger 36:52

ab Absolutely. And that's what I was doing. And I was in bad relationships when the mother of my first child, you know, it was just a terrible relationship where, um, that's all we did, man. You know, had no life. You know, we were fighting with each other like cats and dogs and, and I was out there with the guys, started hanging out again. Okay. But I was like an older guy. Right now I'm teaching these guys how to. you know, out there. And I'm trying to, you know, put some sense in their head, which was no sense when I was teaching them.

Omar 37:23

But, but in your mind you were, you were,

Roger 37:25

so they won't get caught up, you know? Yeah. And get locked up. Yeah. Gotcha. And that's the style living, you know, people looked up to me cuz Yeah. I always had the stuff, I always had the money and my, my place was like the party place Okay. Place to be. Yeah.

Omar 37:38

Right, right. Okay man. So, so you're doing that. You say you got this addiction, but what ends up happening to bring change in your life eventually. I know. Now you're serving God, were there're people that started witnessing to you, I know you mentioned your mom. Mm-hmm. like faithful and prayer and then that's awesome. But eventually, do other people start coming in your life maybe to try to start steering you away from the, from

Roger 37:59

the life? Yes. I had, I mentioned my brother Michael. My brother Michael was an old heroin addict. Um, and um, he moved out of the city and he ended up living in Oklahoma. And, um, he did some bad deals on here and he ended up, he had to leave, you know, and, uh, it was the best thing that ever happened in his life. Now, he knew the Lord prior. Okay. But he backslid big time, you know, you know, the Bible says how seven demons come back stronger in him. Okay? And, um, he was just like really out there when he was in the city, but when he moved out to Oklahoma, he recommitted himself to the Lord and he ended up, uh, working for a church in his, uh, it was a, it was a book company, okay. Selling Christian books. And he ended up getting ordained and he ended up becoming a, a pastor on staff out there. So, um, he was the one that I believe, I always believe that if God could change my brother, He could change me. Gotcha. I believed it because he was a walking miracle. I used to see when, a couple times he almost OD'ed right in front of me. I remember the times when he almost killed somebody in front of me. They're stabbing him with pitchforks. I remember the times when there was with my other brother-in-laws and my, they were beating on my sisters and he's in the house with the pistol running out the house ready to, you know, to blast these people. I remember these things as a kid growing up and he was like the protector of the house. Okay. You know, but he was buck wild too. And this is something my mom had to deal with and all I did was watch this. So I felt like if he could change him, he could change me. So every once in a while he would come into town and he would have them conversations with me. Okay. So when he started talking about the Lord, I was like, man, Michael, I don't want to hear it. You. I don't want to hear it, bro. You know, come on bro. Respect me for it. Okay. I'm big, bad, you know.

Omar 39:50

How old are you at this time when you're telling him, Hey man, like back off. Well, he was, he

Roger 39:53

started this when I was 16, 17, when I was young. Right. And, but now I'm like 22, 23. Okay. I was like, bro, I get it. I, you know, I respect you, Michael, but not right now. Cause bro, you need to start considering changing your life, giving your life to the Lord. So one thing I do know is sometimes he would ease off on the preaching. Okay. And he would say, you know, let's take a ride together. And he would just love on me, bro. Okay. Love on me, you know? And, and when he would leave,

Omar 40:22

can I ask you this? How would he show you love? You said he loved on you, but what things was he doing that that now you look back at Man, he was just,

Roger 40:30

just him not swearing anymore. Him taking me out to eat him. Just being a big brother to me, like a dad figure. Gotcha. You know, showing me about like, if something was broken in the house, hey, let's fix it together. Let me show you. So he was working me and Turing me, having laughing with me, you know, just enjoying life. A clean life. Yeah. You know? So then every time he would leave it, it would, uh, bring tears to my eyes because I was like, wow, God changes, man. He changed him, you know? And if you could change him, he could change me. He was giving me hope. Gotcha. In my life. And he would always tell me, I love you little bro. I love you. I know you could do it. I know you could do it. I encourage you, bro. You know? Yeah. So it was really touching for my heart that I had that example. And then my mind would just, you know, you know, just be there in her presence. Just like, shoot back off cuz she saw the brothers working. Okay. You know, she's like, okay, let, let, let brother Michael let my son Michael take care of Roger. You know? Gotcha,

Omar 41:36

man. So here he is, like, uh, basically demonstrating the change, not, you know, a lot of people could preach right. Preach the gospel and share it. But man, like you mentioned, he just started to back off and, and he lived out the gospel in front of your eyes and even though you were fighting it. Yeah. Like, man, I, you know, back off. It's amazing that once he left is like, man, he, it was working. Yeah. But maybe you didn't, wouldn't admit it back then, but I know now from hearing you like looking back, it, it was starting to have an effect in your life. Oh

Roger 42:08

yeah. Big time. You know, and, and I had a rocky relationship. I had just, uh, connected with my wife of now Okay. Re ena and, um, we were going through our ups and downs, you know, and we would fight and I would end up taking off on her going, taking off for two to three days on a cocaine tour. Yeah. Come home. And she wouldn't speak to me for like four or five days. She was. She just coldhearted, you know, they had nothing to say to me. You know, every time I see goes, don't talk to me. Just, just, I don't even wanna talk to you. But we were eating at the table and we, and through these, this was like four or five years even being together and we already had two babies, you know? Okay. Tony and Gabriel, who were like two and one years old and, and I just felt the misery at the table. Like, wow, what am I doing? Constantly going out there where I got a woman that's taking care of my kids, taking care of my oldest kid, which was her step kid. Gotcha. You know? And then I had, um, a step kid, which was her kid. It was a blended family. And, you know, having a blended family's not easy too. You know, we had to try to figure this out. We would fight for those things as well, you know? Right. You know, for the children, because we didn't know how to act and we didn't know how to respond to when they were going at it and just Right. The manipulation of a kid. Trying to divide used to together. So it was a lot going on and sometimes I was just like, you know what, I'm outta here. Okay. You know, and I'll take off and, and, um, yeah. But it was just one of those things like having these, my, my four boys and living a lifestyle like this, I was like, man, what am I doing with my life? You know? Right. And it was the seeds, the seeds of my brother, the seeds of my mother praying for me. My brother was still, you know, living out there. Right. Um, my ma she was always my backbone, you know, that I able, you know, I was able to speak to her and she was like, mijo, you gotta give it to the Lord. I know you could do it. You're a good man. You got a good woman. Now, you know, she might be a little rough at times, but maybe this is what you need You know? So I was like, yeah, yeah. You know, so little by little. Okay. You know, I started coming around, but I was constantly messing up every. But I was trying to seek change.

Omar 44:21

Okay. Now, the change you were seeking, did you start going to church or how, what things were you doing to, to seek this change?

Roger 44:30

It started like this, um, one day, one Christmas, you know, it was maybe the, the night before Christmas and all through the house, It was the night before Christmas, we were painting an attic. Me and my brother-in-law and, uh, we're flying like a kite, you know, and I used to take off on my wife a lot. So this time she took off. I mean, she said, I ain't going home, cuz whenever I go home, he takes off. And she heard on my voice that I was partying. She says, forget him. I'm, she took off. She ends up coming home like around 2 33 in the morning. And we're in the attic painting, but we're wired. Yeah. You know, drinking bubbly, you know. And she started sort of snapping on me. And, and she, you know, I, she'd be mad at her. She coming at a two 30 in the morning and she started snapping at me and she started throwing, like even wanting to throw pain at me, like, you know, like, you know, and I ended up just you know, point is went to bed that night, you know, we were fighting, I think I slept on the couch, woke up the next day. We had Christmas at my house, you know, so we had, uh, all the family come by and who was in town? My brother Michael So, uh, we're not talking. Of course we're going through the The motions. The motions, yeah. Um, you know, being a host, everybody's there. Uh, my brother Michael, right away, he knew what's going on. Something ain't right here. Right. So, um, I ended up going, I ended up doing a run, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Gotcha. So I ended up doing a run. I ended up coming back and Rena's in the room with Michael and Karen, which is his wife. So I walked in the room and I said, oh shoot, let me, let me let, let me back up. She goes, no, no, no. You come in here too. We wanna talk to you. I said, well wait, let me take care of this little run here, another run, and I'll be back. He goes, well, just do what you gotta do and come back. Their dad came back, they had a conversation with me and the conversation was like, what's going on here? You know, you know, why you hitting on her? I go, bro, it ain't like that. You know, it was, this is what's happened. And he was like, look man, you guys have four children. You know what, what's gonna take for you guys to wake up and you, bro, come on man. When are you gonna go ahead and wake up? You know you need the Lord. And you're like, oh, come on Mike, don't start this with me again. You know? He goes, bro, I'm telling you, you know something's gonna happen. You know you're gonna get popped off. Trust me. Like bro. So he was so, and then Karen was talking to Rena, re was like, you know what, I'm done, I'm done. I don't want nothing after the holidays, I'm done. I'm moving, I'm leaving him. I'm leaving him. I'm like, well, whatever. Do what you gotta do. And he was like, well wait a minute, Rena, let me ask you a question. He goes, if, and this is just a scenario, I wanna bring it up. Yeah. Okay. I wanna see really what's going on, Rena, but I want you to really focus in on this and just, just pretend Roger takes off. Does his little run. Pulls up, he's on the drive, goes head, drops it off, and all of a sudden, you know, he gets hit where they murder him, you know, and you get word that he's dead. You know? How would that make you feel? You know? And she started crying. She just started like bawling. How would that really make you feel? And he just had a, you know, he, he went through the motions of like acting it out. Did, yeah. And she started crying. She goes, so there is hope. You still do love him? He says, can I just pray for you? So they started praying. Can I wanna pray for you too, bro? You gotta give the Lord a chance in your life. You tried everything and nothing worked. You know, just bring all that dirty baggage you have and give it to the Lord. Give'em a chance, give'em a chance in your life, you know, and just carry it with you. Go to church and that's it. Give, give the Lord an opportu. So he told me, promise me before he left, he goes, promise me you'll do that. And I go, yeah, I promise you I'll do that. So that day we ended up sort of, um, uh, forgiving one another. Yeah. We were still like, you know, little distance, but it was more peace in the house. We went out there with the family. The next day we ended up going to New Life Community Church. And um, he told me, go to this church. He goes, you remember De Marquez? I go, yeah, I remember her, the Marque family. He goes, yes, go to that church. Her husband is Pastor Mark Job, you know, and every time we come to Chicago, we like going to that church and I recommend you go to that church. And back then it was the itt. We went there and I remember the Lord was just like talking to me, okay. Like, wow, this, this is pretty cool. This is something different. And I felt his presence. Amen. But I was pushing it back. Gotcha. You know, so my brother was constantly asking me over the phone, you know, How you doing? I said, I'm doing okay. What about rain? I go, she's doing okay. You know, we're still working it out. He's like, brother, you know you're gonna church next week. I go, yeah, I guess. He goes, bro, like I told you, you know, don't give up. You tried everything in your life and nothing worked. Give the Lord a chance in your life. Go to church. Come as you are. So he just, every week he would check on me, so I would go, sometimes I would go a little hungover, but I would go, you know, and little by little. And one day there was an all church gathering and it was like all the different satellites, you know? Okay. Of all the different churches back, back then he, some satellites ended up in one. It was like a thousand people. And man, I just felt the anointing. And I remember just going to the altar and I just, man, I just gave my, you know, I gave myself to the Lord. I just says, man, I, I'm done. I'm done with this. Pretty much that was it, man. I had to remember Al Garcia, a pastor, pray for me, who had a similar background. Okay. You know, like mine. And he was, he was the man praying over me and I felt the, the anointing of, of Christ just in me. So yeah, that was one of my starting points of, you know, giving myself to the Lord. And I was, back then, I was like, it was, um, March 6th, 2001. Nice. That's my spiritual birthday, 2001, man. Yes. And I started going like December of 2000. Okay. So it took like four months of hopping in. Oh yeah. Yeah. Hopping into church and, you know, testing it out and, you know.

Omar 50:58

Okay. Now, let me ask you this. what things do you feel changed, like immediately and what things, was it still like maybe you were still fighting, like still wanting to do maybe your thing in certain areas? Yeah,

Roger 51:11

absolutely. Uh, one of the things was, um, that was difficult was. Always had like an urge of drinking, you know? And, uh, I, you know, and I was asking the Lord, Hey, take away this cocaine problem. So there's a couple things. You know, when you come to the Lord a lot of times take away this, you start picking and choosing what you want him to take away. But when he's working on your heart and you're having this, and you're in, in the service and some of these worship songs that come on man, and you feel the Lord just presence and open the eyes of my heart, Lord, you know, you know the power of your love, these old songs. And I remember it was just like he was ripping my heart open and opening me up and just ministering to me and just listening to the worship and tears coming down my eyes. Cuz I, I started knowing I wanna change. Yes, I wanna do something different with my life. I don't wanna be like this for the rest of my life. And I knew God could use me in a, a miraculous way. So I struggle with the drinking and you know, I started leaving the cocaine to the side. I remember like even my mouth, my vocabulary. Okay. Little by little, I, you know, cause every word that came on my mouth back then was blankety blank, blank That was just the way we

Omar 52:31

talk. Get you, man. Yes. So man, that's the process now. Okay. God's working on you. What about your wife? Is she like seeking the Lord too at this time?

Roger 52:39

Yes. That's great question. Okay. Went to a retreat. All right. Okay. And um, now is this a marriage

Omar 52:45

retreat or a men's

Roger 52:45

retreat? No, it was a men's retreat. Okay, gotcha. So, um, went to this retreat. Um, the Lord was ministering to me. And here, here's, here's the funny story, but it's a true story. I was talking back then I stopped getting high. Okay. But I was still dealing. I was in the devil's payroll, now I'm a believer. Gotcha. All

Omar 53:08

right. Hey, you know, keep it real, man. I bet you some people out there need to hear this. You know, I'm a

Roger 53:14

believer, remember this, and couple things. You know, the brother, some of the brothers knew what I was about. One of'em was Vince Scara. Okay? Uh, Chan, they rest in peace. When a close, a deer hired friend of mine one time told me, Hey bro, what's up? And he knew what's up with my struggle. And I said, nothing. He goes, let me ask you a question. He goes, when are you gonna stop playing around with God? And I was like, what are you talking about, man? He goes, come on bro. You know what's up. You know what you're doing. Come out. When are you gonna get real with God? And stop what you're doing. I'm like, Vince, man, come on bro. You know, just this, this is what I'm doing, you know? He was like, do me a favor. He goes, open up Ecclesiastics. You know? And I, I think it's Ecclesias. I don't know if it's four or five. Where, where he's talks about he has no pleasure for fools, you know? Okay. When you make a vow to the Lord, they're not delaying, fulfilling it, you know? You know it's better to make a, not make a vow than make a vow. You know that, that scripture. Yes. You know, for he has no pleasures in fools. So I'm reading it and we're on the phone. He goes, bro, do you hear what the Lord is telling you? I'm just a messenger man. He goes, bro, you made a vow to the Lord. You know, and you're over here still playing with the, in the Devil's playground, right? And oh man, and I'm already a believer now. Now I felt the conviction. He goes, bro, you gotta stop this man. They love you, bro. He goes, man, but I gotta tell you like it is. Yeah. And um, it was about that time. Went to the retreat, I think it was the week before, went to the retreat, retreat. I confessed what I was doing. And I remember these brothers were like, man, this guy had some stuff, but he don't want to get rid of it. What should we do? Pastor Mark? They went to Pastor Mark.

Omar 55:03

No. You didn't have the stuff. I, no, I didn't have the stuff

Roger 55:05

Ivy, but they were talking about going to my home. That was my boat stack. Okay. Throwing it away. you know, and I, in, in my mind, I'm thinking numbers. I'm like, wait a minute. I got like$3,000 worth of stuff. That streetwise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like six to$7,000. Like that's a lot of money there, man. He goes, I don't know if I can do this, man. I could sell it and give something

Omar 55:27

to the church

Roger 55:29

So I'm thinking like this. Gotcha. So when they went ahead and they told Pastor Mark, what should we do? He goes, what do you mean? What should we do? There's nothing you can't do. Let God do the work. Just continue praying for him and accepting him and loving him on him. Just, whoa. You know? So that was a, so powerful. He told me later what he, you know. Yeah. What he told and the guys told me too later, once. I was free once. I was free once, and I knew they was, I was done. So, um, yeah, man, I, I came home, um, that night. I remember sleeping in the bed and I didn't, I had no intentions of getting rid of it. Gotcha. No intentions. I, I mean, I wanted to, but I was thinking Yeah. And it was wrestling with me. Yeah. But I woke up at three 30 in the morning and I felt the Holy Spirit tugging at me, and I felt my mind just reminiscent in thinking about all these bad things I did in life. It would just like glimpses, you know, of when I was 13, 14, being with this woman, uh, shooting this person, you know, stabbing this person, getting stabbed, you know, getting shot, you know, just everything, all and, and how I'm still here and how the Lord wants to work with me. He just told me in the bed, you're free. It's done. It's finished. I did the work for you, you're free. And I was bawling like a baby. My wife woke up and she was like, what's the matter? I said, I'm done. I'm finished. The Lord is working in me. Amen. Praise God. Yeah. And I say that because the power of the Holy Spirit that was working in me. Yes. And I, I, I knew this was the real deal. I knew that it was over with. Went to church that morning, no sleep really, but went there, went to the altar, raised my arms up. I I remember I had like four, four or five, six brothers around me praying over me because they knew right what I was about, you know, and, you know, and then my wife was in the corner. And while I'm getting prayed for, She wasn't a believer yet. Oh no, she wasn't a believer. She was just coming to church and she was always waiting for me to fall. That was her thing. I'm gonna wait, this guy's fake, the same guy never gonna change, you know, and she was in the corner bawling, crying. Then around five, six sisters of the husbands Yeah. Went around and surrounded her and she gave her life to the Lord man. And that, I think that was a month later, like April. Yes. Praise God. Gave her life to the Lord. And, and that was it, man. That was like our, our spirit. We really started our true spiritual walk with the

Omar 58:32

Lord. Man. That's, that's deep. That's cuz man. It was just you and the Holy Spirit man. Just the realness man. Just by you sharing that, I could just imagine just what you felt like him speaking to you. You know what I'm saying? Telling you man, you're free. Yeah. And you finally, I guess you grasped it and then seeing your wife, then she came to the Lord too, she was a witness. Yeah. To what God could do in somebody's life. Cause you mentioned all the years of the things you were doing and the things that maybe both of yous were involved in. And then she starts seeing the change and like you mentioned, waiting for you to fall, but man, God had the final word there and started turning your life around. So both of you surrendered to God. What begins to happen in the home, in the marriage, or, well you guys, maybe it already at this point, or

Roger 59:21

I believe we had just got married. Yes. Okay. It was something that we made a decision, but we were still like out there in the world, you know, somewhat, you know, but we had just got married, we started going to church. Right. But we were just, you know, trying to understand this church thing, you know? Yeah. The Lord, you know, and. Yeah. We were married already. So what happened was, um, we got involved with Fusion. Okay. Marital ministry. and we started attending this group with this couple named Chad and Holly Kimble. Okay. What, what, like, around what year was this? This was back in 2002 or more or less. All right. So, um, we started going and we started going faithfully. And, um, this couple pretty much pulled us, you know, under their wing. And, um, uh, they started mentoring us and teaching us the principles of um, what's gonna take to have a golly marriage, you know, to strengthen the foundation of our marriage, to prepare ourselves to become leaders and to be able to help others. And those principles were something that was instilled in. I always thought like, man, we were just so jacked up in our marriage and now this is an opportunity where we can give back. Okay. You know, and they were constantly speaking into our lives like, yes, yes, you guys are going to give back. Yes. Pastor Rod, like, don't mean scare me like that Pastorage, you know, But it was like, yes, you could do it, bro. I know you are a watch, bro. Watch The Lord has Master Plans. We used to, and little by little we just, our house became a ministry home. We opened up, we used to do a men's group called The Upper Room and the Attic, and it was like, you know, six, seven guys. Right. And then we were actually host Infusion too for, for a minute. And um, yeah, we've been involved for, in the ministry since 2002. I think we took one year, maybe like a nine month break for like one year. Okay. But we've been consistent in that and definitely need it, man. Definitely.

Omar 1:01:18

Yeah. We, we all need it. I know, I know, I know. Fusion like, bless me. Me and my wife, like going through those lessons, through the, the mentoring that they offer. Yeah, it definitely like shed light on some of the issues that we were having. And we were already married, I think at that point, maybe about, maybe 12 years. Oh, wow. And we thought we were, we thought we were all right. But man, I think there was a, a lesson in the fusion and the mentoring is called Good Bricks. Bad Bricks. Yes. Absolutely. That, that really shed some light. It's basically talks about like the way you grew up in your home. Like, let's say, uh, the way I viewed my, my parents' marriage. Yeah. And the things that I learned from them, watching them. And then my wife shared her home was like, and then here we are, uh, like trying to combine these lessons that we learned. And man, there was a lot of stuff that garbage that we were bringing in that shouldn't have been in. And man, it really shed a light like into our marriage and definitely did a work in us. But I could definitely vouch for a fusion. the things, absolutely the things that they do, man, it brings change in and, and, and people need it. Couples need it. Marriages needed, so man, families need it. Yeah. Yeah. Thank God for that. So, man, you're involved in, in, fusion, uh, what else begins to happen as far as like ministry? There's other things you get involved in at this point or,

Roger 1:02:30

yeah. I was really deep heavily into Fusion, did men's group. Um, I started mentoring people, you know, into, uh, baptism. Um, also mentoring people in their marriages. So things just started rolling, you know, it was like every year, maybe two or three people getting baptized, but through God's grace, all I just wanted to do be was a vessel. Amen. Be there, you know, God used me yes. To mentor these individuals, you know, um, maybe two or three couples a year or two, we were working, so we were, we were using our home as a ministry home, you know, that we were mentoring couples and individuals that were lost. It's, God was using us in a mighty way. Yes. And then little by little, our family members started getting saved, you know? Okay. Yeah. Because of our example. Not a perfect example, right. But a grown example. And Wanda has humility to say, you know what? I'm wrong. I was wrong for what I did, you know? Cause we all fall short from the glory. God, there's no perfection in anybody, you know? But as long as you stay humble, always stay humble, always stay hungry, you know, in life. Yeah, definitely, man. And it's and honor the Lord. Yes. Those are the three things. The three H's. Yep. Amen.

Omar 1:03:43

Amen. And, anything else that you wanna share? Roger?

Roger 1:03:46

yeah. Yeah. You know, couple things. Um, I mean, definitely I recommend anybody. Who's struggling in, in marriage, or even if you're not even married, but you've been with, um, your significant other. Um, ain't nothing like learning from solid Christian couples. Not perfect, but growing Christian couples that are using golly principles. That's one of the things that we totally recommend. Come as you are. Yeah. You know, and let the Lord work with you guys. And, um, yeah, we, we love working with people. Within the next month, we're probably gonna, I'm mentoring three people. We're gonna mentor another couple in their marriage, so something we're doing, you know, through the cracks of our schedule. Um, another thing I got involved with Wrong The strong, which is something that was always in my heart, like a ministry. Um, getting out from the joint. I always believed in body building. Uh, might not look it like it now. You know, I eating too good. Oh, you,

Omar 1:04:42

you're pretty, pretty. You're good. You're good, brother

Roger 1:04:44

Yeah. So, but one of the things is I always believed in something like this. I always envisioned it. It was, it was funny how God works. One day, it was like on a Sunday and my wife was watching a documentary and you know, it caught my eye because it was about a guy that was locked up abroad in Mexico, and this guy's name was jc. Don't know him personally. But, um, when I was watching it and then towards the very end just listening to his story, what he had to go through, I was able to relate to his story. Yeah. Because of his addictions and just being in the mob and dealing and all this, and then what he's doing, you know, right now. I was like, wow, that's cool. You know? That's awesome. Then I found out he was from the south side of Chicago, so that like, okay, who is this guy? You know, I know a lot of people. Who is this guy? So then I heard he was from, well he said he was from Little Village, right. So I was like, okay, well maybe he's from, The west side or the east side. And I started opening, looking'em up in the internet. And when I started looking'em up in the internet, he said, 59th and Spalding. Right? So now I'm confused. I'm like, man, what's going on? 59th Spading Little Village. And the point is, is you know, I started asking around and I remember you, Omar, okay? You know, couple times on Facebook, you know how social media is powerful, man, you know? And I remember you, you know, doing some form of workout and with the guys and the Bible and the word. And I was like, wow, that's pretty cool. You know? It caught my eye, caught my attention, right? And even though it was from a distance, I never mentioned it to you, but when I saw that documentary and then I saw you with that, Right. I says, wait a minute. So that's when I says, man, let me reach out to this brother. I didn't have your number personally. Right. But we're Facebook friends. Right. So that's when I hit you up on Messenger. Hey, what's up Omar? How are you doing, bro? Yeah. And then we started talking and I mentioned to you, what's up with this? Are you involved with Wrong De Strong? Right. Right. And you said, yeah. So I was like, wow. I'm encouraged, man. I wanna know a little bit about it. And then basic, I said, you know, I don't know if you said Call me, I called you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. And we ended up talking to each other over the phone and, and you, you invited me to the house. Right? Right. So I said, yeah, I'll show up Wednesday. Amen. So that I did. So this is something we're doing here. Right. Um, you know, it's, it's amazing what God could do in your life. Amen. God is using this ministry small, but I, I know for a fact God is going to use it for his glory. You know, it's small beginnings.

Omar 1:07:16

Hey, don't despise small beginnings, man. Yeah. Like you mentioned jc, you know, he is the founder of Wrong To Strong and basically I connected with his brother last year, I believe. Yeah, around November, December, around there. But yeah, this brother's been challenging me and encouraging me and uh, he got me to work out. And then after work, you know, getting, working out, I'm like, man, that's when we started doing the workout in the world Wednesdays. Yeah. Which is basically what we do in my basement. And we get together, workout for about an hour and a half, and then we do a Bible study. So I know that's what you mentioned and you've been joining us for a, for the last few weeks, maybe a month. And man, there's a few young brothers that, that we had the opportunity to talk to here. That similar backgrounds that we come from and, one of'em where you even knew like family members It's amazing how the Lord brings people together. I don't believe there's no coincidences. Yes. There's no coincidence that you stumble upon this documentary. I think it was a National Geographic. Yep. I think it was locked up abroad. Was locked up abroad and uh, man, You know, God works in mysterious ways. and people need to, to hear that, that there's hope. Yeah. You know, if you're jacked up, you know, if you're messed up. If you feel like, man, um, one thing you mentioned when you were on that bed that night that God started bringing all these memories of Oh yeah. Things you were involved in, you know, things that you did or maybe things, even things that people did to you.

Roger 1:08:40

Flashbacks. The glimpses of life. And a lot of times we, a lot of people, that's an eye opener,

Omar 1:08:45

unfortunately. Live with those thoughts and it keeps'em from God. Mm-hmm. like man, there's people that feel like, man, God could never use me because A, B, and C that I did in my past. Man, God desires to use people like that. I know JC been telling me recently that man, God's gonna do a revival soon and he's gonna use guys just like us. Amen. Like guys that are from the street, as guys that know the enemy, you know that the word, that know the darkness, that know what it involves in. And now like we're walking with God, like, it, it's almost like we could discern it mm-hmm. when we're around it. Oh yeah. And, it's, it's amazing that these are the guys that are coming now that I see the couple, the young guys that have been coming here from similar things, being involved in drugs and gangs and I'm just amazed that God is like drawing them, you know? One thing I always, like to, to do before we close out, any final words or maybe if you could close us out in prayer, so

Roger 1:09:45

Yeah. Yeah. Man, I just appreciate just even being here, the opportunity to share a little bit about my life. And just remember, this was before Christ, everything we said, and that was the owe, the oldest God I knew has come. One of the scriptures that come into my mind is, um, is Genesis 50 20. You know where it's a story of Joseph now. Joseph was persecuted, he was beaten, he was betrayed by his own family, his own brothers. And many of us here were betrayed. We were persecuted, you know, we were beaten, you know, in life, you know. But the, the cool thing about this story is God gave him a vision. God gave him a gift. And many of us have certain giftings, but you don't know what your gifting is in the Lord. So you really got to know the Lord first, where he could show you and you know, and you could be used for your calling of what your purpose in life, you know, purpose driven life. So the scripture goes like this, you intended to harm me. But God attended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the savings of many lives. But it all started from, you know, the enemy intending to harm us. You know, he thought, he was like, yeah, okay, we're gonna harm these guys. We're gonna do whatever we can do to steal, kill, and destroy and beat these guys. You know, because he knows that he could use you in a mighty way, you know? And it's because of that, you know, you, you tend to grow in the Lord and you start changing, you're getting transformed and you're helping others, you know, you're saving many lives. And the story of Joseph, him being in prison and came out and pretty much, um, saving Egypt, what was going on, his family members cuz of the fathom because of, uh, the low poverty, you know, there was, a famine going on. And it was happening. So he envisioned it and he stored up. Stuff specifically for foods and, you know, to, to eat. And, and he, he rescued him. So God is here, wants to use us to rescue others. So just, just remember that. Humble yourself and, and be used by God. That's all I, I could say. Listen to him, abide in him. We're not gonna be perfect. Read your a word. I also do another thing called the word online. You know, pastor Dave Garrity, he's the one, uh, leading. He's like my, one of my spiritual mentors as well. So, um, I encourage you, it's Fridays a week, um, Monday through Friday, you know, no scripture, no sleep. That means if you're like reading at night, if you're a morning person, no, no bible, no breakfast. So that people that like to eat in the morning, no, no, no, no, no, no. Bible. No breakfast. So that's your reward, you know? And at nighttime, you're tired, you wanna go to sleep? Okay. No scripture, you can't sleep, you, you gotta read your word. So it's a disciplinary action to get you to read your word.

Omar 1:12:40

Nice. Hey, you know, I think there's a lot of people that need that discipline. Yeah. That's what we got on the shirt, you know? Absolutely. Hey, the prayer, the Bible, the shield of faith, sort of the spirit, the word of God, and of course the physical too. You know, we believe in, a mutual edification is what, what we do here on the workout and the word Yeah. Where the physical and the spiritual. But yeah man. Hey Roger, thank you for sharing all that, man. And like you mentioned, we, we, we shared the past, but to give glory to God. Because a lot of times, let's say you could tell people, man, I'm going to church. I'm serving in a marriage ministry. I'm helping couples, I'm helping young men. And you know, like, like, so what? Like, you know, like what was so special? But then when they hear the past Yeah. Like, man, what, oh, you were doing this and now you're doing that. Like, people need to

Roger 1:13:26

hear that and they don't know the struggle Yeah. Of what we've been through.

Omar 1:13:29

You know what I'm saying? And, and they need to hear it so they could know like you mentioned it about your brother, like, God, if you could do it in him, I know you could do it in me. And there's gonna be men that are gonna listen to their podcast and now they're gonna say, man, if you could do it in Ra Cena's life, I know you could do it in me. Amen. Hey, Roger, close this out and prayer and, and we, we'll wrap this up.

Roger 1:13:50

Okay. Father, we thank you. We thank you once again for your goodness and for who you are and that you died on the cross for each and every person here listening. Lord, I pray that you touch and you impact the heart of those out there that are wondering and just on the fence, father of not the. Knowing you or unsure of what to do to get to know you, God, I, I pray to you, minister to them. I pray. Then they take that bold step and they say, you know what? Let me reach out to a brother that's been, uh, reaching out to me, that's been loving on me and been praying for me and let me go to church. You know, they just give the Lord a chance in your life. Father, I just pray. You just touch and tug the heart of those who are just still on heart soil and you would just soften it and make it into a soft soil. God, father, we thank you for you are we Thank you just for this ministry and we praise you cuz you are good. You are a sovereign. You are majestic. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.

Omar 1:14:56

Amen. Amen. Thanks for that brother. would you like to, share like, your business you're involved in, I know you mentioned tax preparing and all this thing, you wanna share it where maybe people might be able to find you if they're interested in some of the services that you

Roger 1:15:07

provide? Absolutely. Yeah. So, My business. Um, I'm having corporation. It's called adia Notta Agency in Notre Car in English. My, that's my last name. We've been preparing taxes for approximately 44 years. actually, my dad started it off and that was one of the good bricks, what you were talking about. Okay, keep the good bricks, you get rid of the bad, you know, the adultery and all that he did with this is the good bricks. This is something I choose to keep and it's, it's something where now we're keeping the traditional alive and I actually do immigration notary work. I actually do something called meta index as well. Acn do a part-time spare time. One is investments and the other ones helping people out with services. Um, so yeah, man, I mean this is some of the things I do. Um, hit me up on social media's, Roger Cardena or aia and not. Um, hit me up and, uh, let me see what I can do to help you. We help a lot of people out. I've been having a lot of success and I, I'm only grateful because of, of God teaching me and showing me, gimme the, the determination to be able to build this business, but also giving God his first fruits. Amen.

Omar 1:16:22

Mm-hmm. Amen. Knowing that give all the good, the good gifts come from him. You know, it makes it easier to give. Right? Absolutely. Makes it easier to release Moana. Thanks a lot, brother. Uh, uh, thank you for coming on here and sharing your story. Uh, so once again, thank you for joining us for another episode around two strong Chicago. Uh, Matthew four team reads, the people who sat in darkness have seen a great light, and upon those who sat in the region in shadow of death, light has dawn. My name is Omar Calvio. I am wrong to strong.