"Born & Raised Into The Gang & Drug Lifestyle" - interview w/ Hector Gomez

In this episode, Hector G. shares how growing up in a family that was heavily involved in the gangs and drugs lifestyle affected him.  As a child being unexpectedly taken away from his mother and family and being placed into the foster care system. Listen to his story, experiences and the journey that he is on today.

Transcript

Hector 0:15

Hello

Omar 0:15

everyone and welcome once again to the wrong to Strong Chicago podcast. My name is Omar Calvio and we're here doing another interview. I'd like to introduce my guests. His name is Hector. This is a brother that I met recently. And, uh, just through conversations that we've been having, you know, just, uh, going back and forth as far as like our personal lives, uh, we found that we, we have like a similar story. So like, man, as we were talking, I told this brother, man, I gotta have you on my podcast. So I'd like to welcome Hector. I'll let him maybe introduce himself, maybe say a little bit about himself real quick.

Hector 0:45

Yeah. What's going on, bro? Uh, my name's Hector. I'm 29. Um, like Omar said, um, well, to be honest, we met each other through work and, um, you know, little by little we started conversing and. like he said, we seen that we had a lot of similarities despite the age difference. And, um, you know, I could relate to a lot of the, the things he'd been through. I can relate to a lot of the other people that been on this podcast. So I was, uh, definitely looking forward to doing this podcast with him. Hey, man,

Omar 1:13

man, the, the things for sharing the age difference bank, basically calling me a old man, you know? Yeah. So I'm 44 years old, but No, no. Thanks for being here, man. And, uh, yeah, let's get into your story. I know we talked a, a little bit, beforehand, could you tell us, um, I know you grew up in Chicago your whole life, maybe, uh, I know you mentioned you moved around, but, uh, well, what's one, uh, area that you remember that you grew up in as as when you were young?

Hector 1:36

well, when I was born, I was born in 92. So, um, I was born in like the Pilsen, west Pilsen area, uh, till about 98. And then we ended up, me and my family ended up moving to, Cicero. My, uh, grandmother ended up getting a house out there.

Omar 1:51

Okay. And that was around that age. And, well, what do you remember, uh, Pilsen, like how old were you while you were still living there? To what age was

Hector 1:58

that? Um, so probably like six, to be honest. Okay. Um, but I mean, I, I remember a lot, you know, growing up over there. It was definitely, fun as a kid. I mean, despite the, despite the neighborhood, you know, we get to, you know, we see a lot of guys around and we see a lot of people get in trouble, but, you know, you see it every day, every day, every day. And it just becomes, it's like it's normal, you know? It's like, oh, we're going outside, and you might see somebody breaking somebody's car, but it was like, it's just another day around there, you know? So it wasn't nothing like, I guess to me, that was out of the ordinary.

Omar 2:32

Got it. Okay. Exactly. So you said, yeah, you were growing up having fun, and man, that's, that's what you knew. So you couldn't really. You know, like, uh, compare it to anything else, I guess. Right? Yeah, exactly. What about as far as like a, a family? How was your family structure growing up?

Hector 2:45

I mean, it was, it was all right. You know, my, my mother and my, my thes, you know, my uncles as well. They all, you know, grew up in the Game Bang lifestyle. So I wanna say that was one of the reasons why a lot of the things that I experienced was normalized because it came from our roots. You get me. Like, it came from my mother, it came from my tia, it came from my Theo. So, you know, a lot of that we were around it, we were around their friends, and their friends were doing the same thing. So that, I feel like that was one of the reasons why it became, you know, normal and it wasn't out of the ordinary. And yeah, man.

Omar 3:19

Okay. Yeah. So, so you basically grew up in the neighborhood and man, it sounds like the whole family was in the gang there, right? Yeah. Basically. Man, man. And, uh, what, what, what kind of things do you remember? Like, uh, growing up like, like witnessing that now when you look back, you're like, man, that's, that's not maybe something that a kid should have grew up around in, you know, just like during that age, you know? Well, I

Hector 3:38

mean, I used to see a lot of shootings, but again, you don't, you don't know that it's one gang shooting at another gang. You just see a car pulling up, shooting at another guy, you know? So as far as you know, perspective, you just see someone trying to hurt somebody. So it wasn't like, okay, I know it's this gang versus this gang, you know, it was more so, um, you know, as far as our, we see somebody innocent hurting somebody innocent. You get me, right? Uh, one of the things though growing up that now I can say is, um, definitely we should have been doing, um, when we would go outside and play with our friends in the neighborhood, uh, there would be a lot of us spent shell casings on the floor. So we would pick them up and, you know, we'll look at him and be like, oh, okay, you know, this is a nice little gold piece, nice little brass piece. So we would play with it. But because that's something that caught our eye on the floor, you know, we're, we're kids, you know, we're running around the neighborhood and. You know, little things like quarters and all that that you find on the floor. So all of that, you see all these little shiny pieces on the floor, and we would stumble upon, um, you know, the brass from dispense shell casings, and we would always see like, oh, it says nine m but this is not nothing that, you know, at that age, you know, when you get older you start to say, whoa. Like, wow, bro, I used to play with these when I was a kid. Right. You know, not even knowing that they could have been used in a murder or whatever the case may be. You were just, you know, nationality, just playing with'em, bro. Like, yeah. That's, that's

Omar 5:02

crazy, man. I'm sure there's, there's a lot of people out there that can't relate to a childhood like that, honestly. Man, man going in the street and man, just picking them up like nothing, man. That's, yeah, bro, that's the way am man. But yeah, no, that, that's, that's definitely how, how Pilsen was, you know, back then. But, uh, as you grow older, is there like an event or something that, um, maybe like as far as like your family that, uh, brought a change in your life as your, you know, as you growing up in this lifestyle. I know you mentioned, you know, family and the gangs, like how was your, uh, like growing up

Hector 5:30

after that? Um, I mean, like I said, when, when 98 came, um, we ended up moving to Cicero, ended up getting a house over there and to be honest, it was still a lot of the same like, you know, my, my family was still hanging around. You can basically say in the same amount of people, just in almost in a nicer neighborhood you could say, you get me. Like it wasn't as bad. Um, as far as looks you get me, cuz looks are definitely deceiving. You could be in a neighborhood with beautiful houses and just, you know, the group people that are around there, you gimme it's all upside down.

Omar 6:06

Yeah. Yeah. So it's still like the same, uh, it is like they're bringing the, the negativity or Yeah, or the bad stuff that they're doing just into a

Hector 6:15

nicer neighborhood or the negativity was already there. It's just, you know, adding more, uh, fuel, set of fire. You get me.

Omar 6:21

Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay. So, so you moved to Cicero. How many years did you spend there?

Hector 6:25

Um, so. You know, my, my family always had the house in Cicero, but, um, I wanna say like me physically, like I ended up moving from there. I wanna say when I was like in fourth or fifth grade, something like that, we started to get into, uh, foster homes and group homes and, you know, my life started to definitely change at a young age.

Omar 6:48

Man. do you wanna share what happened that you ended up having to go into a foster care home?

Hector 6:54

Um, basically, I mean, you know, my, you can say that my mother wasn't fit to be a mother. Gotcha. You gimme, so, yeah. Um, I don't know how it happened or I don't know if somebody reached out to them, but somehow the state ended up finding out that, you know, my mother was doing drugs and she wasn't able to, you know, take care of us. So one day from school, um, I was in class and, uh, I remember like it was yesterday, I ended up getting my name called on the speaker, you know, like, Hey, can you have Hector come down to the office? And we were watching a movie that day, and I remember one of my classmates telling me, um, you're lucky that you're getting to go home early. So I get my stuff, you know, not knowing what was gonna happen. When I went down to that office, I go downstairs and sure enough there's a case worker ready to take me and my brother and um, you know, put us in a group home. And I just remember that day, like, like, wow. Like she, you know, she assumed, you know, my classmate, she assumed that we were going home, right? And little did I know that I was not going home that day whatsoever. Like, like that was it, bro. Like, I didn't see my mom. I didn't get to say bye to my mom. None of my family members, they literally just came to school. Um, talked to us for a little bit, talked to the principal, and it took us like it was, it was that fast. It was that fast,

Omar 8:16

man. That, that's crazy. I'm sure that had to be one of the. life altering moments for you? Yeah. Was it just you or who,

Hector 8:23

who hose was this? It was me and my brother. Got it. You know, at the time, um, uh, it was me and my brother Sam, and uh, we definitely ended up, it was, it was life changing, you know? We were, we we're, kids we're like in, you know, fourth, I'm like in fourth grade, my brother. How, how old was that? Like? Uh, um, I want maybe like 10. Okay. You know, give or take. And, um, so for us hearing like, oh, you're not going home no more. Like, we gotta take, like, that hurt us. You get me, you know, me and my brother we're 10 years old. I'm 10 years old. He was probably like, you know, seven or eight and we're just crying. You get me cuz we're not gonna see our parents no more. You know? So that was definitely, um, a hurting moment. Yeah. Yeah,

Omar 9:00

definitely, man. I think that'll hurt anybody. Like, like Let me ask you this though. Before this happened, did you have any idea that this could happen? Like, as far as like, looking back, like, as you know, at your childhood, did, did you see it coming or was it like a complete surprise?

Hector 9:15

No, I see. I can't say, I would say I seen it coming only because of the fact that I'm a kid and I don't know nothing about social services. I don't know about, you know, foster homes and group homes and me being potentially put into them predicament. So, you know, now that I look back and I look through everything that we've been through, you see why it happened. But you don't expect them things to happen because again, you don't know. You don't know about it. You don't know what's the, um, like the, the

Omar 9:46

effects or the results

Hector 9:47

Exactly. Could happen. Exactly. You know, so you're not, you're not thinking about that. Right. You know, if your mother's making mistakes or the people around you making mistakes, whether they're negative or not, you're not assuming the worst. Yeah. You, you're not assuming, okay, she's doing this and tomorrow I'm gonna be gone. Right. Like, you don't think

Omar 10:03

about none of that. No, no. Yeah, definitely. Cuz uh, I mean, you grew up, so this is like everything that's going on at home or in the neighborhood, it's normal. Exactly. This is just the way, you know, it is in my family and the neighborhood. and you don't see anything wrong with that, but obviously maybe the, like you mentioned, social services, for whatever reasons they decided, man, you know, we gotta take you away, you know, from, from home. But, uh, man, you, you wanna share what that experience was? I know, I know it hurt, but where, where did you end up going? Like, let's say like that first day, like, um,

Hector 10:33

so the first day, um, we ended up going to a group home and we were there. So we ended up going to the group home. And I wanna say, I can't give like an exact, uh, time. How long we were in the group home. I wanna say maybe about like three weeks. But living in the group home, it was just like a whole bunch of other kids just like us, but their stories may have been worse. Okay. You know, we had, I remember I met one guy and, um, well kid at the time. Yeah. And, um, he was telling me how his mom had abandoned him and his sister and abandoned house. Like she just took him there and then she left and never came back. So it's like, Some people got it worse. You gimme some people got family that just neglects them, you know, from the jump. Right? And so that was kind of like an eye opener, like, wow, like somebody that you think that loves you just, you know, left you in abandoned house. Not even with family, you know, not even in a warm house, left you in a cold house alone and you know, and left man.

Omar 11:35

That's And left. Yeah. How, how many kids do you think were in that group home?

Hector 11:39

Like, uh, um, it's, it was hard to say because you got different ages. You get me? So when you go to a group home, they kind of put you with your age group, you get me because they still trying to educate you. Okay, you get me, you're still going to like, some type of slight, um, schooling, I guess. Right, right. So they're still trying to educate you so you're not, you know, necessarily with everybody. You're, you're with your, uh, age group. Right.

Omar 12:05

Okay. How much time did you spend there? Like how many years or?

Hector 12:09

No. So I wanna say, In the group home we were there, probably there, it wasn't that long, maybe about three weeks. Oh, okay. Yeah. So the, the group home was, uh, fairly short, but it was definitely experience that, you know, you wouldn't forget because this is the beginning stages of you getting taken away and getting put in the system and, you know, just being part of the system, being a statistic.

Omar 12:30

Gotcha. now, as far as the system, could you explain that a little bit? Like basically what ended up, happening next? What did they, uh, put you in or what was the next move like?

Hector 12:39

So like when you first get into the system, before they put you in a group home, they try to put you with family members. And we didn't have too many family members that, can take us in that maybe didn't have a good background and that they seem fit to take care of us. Gotcha. So one of the first places that. Me and my brother ended up going out of the group home was, um, my brother's side of the family. We went with his, uh, grandmother. Okay.

Omar 13:02

did she take, uh, you and your brother?

Hector 13:04

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, she took me and my brother, um, I stood there a few months longer than him because my brother's, dad's side of the family ended up, uh, coming forward and was able to, um, um, end up adopting him, bro. Oh yeah? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, his, uh, his dad's side of the family ended up adopting him, so. Gotcha. You know, he was definitely fortunate to go with, I would say like a closer side of his family because I don't know, my brother's, uh, my little brother, which that we're living with his grandma, I don't know his family like that, you know? Okay. So it wasn't as comfortable as you going to, you know, to, to the other brother's house? Yes,

Omar 13:41

exactly. Okay. So you, you felt like maybe you were closer to that, uh, to his family than to the one you ended up, uh, getting placed in? I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Gotcha. All right. So how long did you stay there, you

Hector 13:51

said? Uh, uh, I was there for about nine months. Okay. Yeah, I was there for about nine months.

13:56

And

Omar 13:56

what ended up, uh, why did you end up leaving there

Hector 13:59

um, drugs? my brother's grandfather, he used to, uh, smoke crack and he used to do heroin. He used to shoot up. And, you know, one day this, you know, this guy, he would smoke, he smoked crack in front of us, you know, he smoked crack in front of me and my brother. this is like the first time we experienced somebody like actually doing hard drugs in front of us. Okay. Cause it's like we knew, we knew our mother was doing something, but we didn't know what Right. And she didn't do in front of us. What we probably seen was the aftermath. And the effects of it. You get me like, like somebody being drunk. You see them all stumbling around. You

Omar 14:32

didn't see'em drinking, but you just see the effects

Hector 14:34

that it had on them, you know? So that was with, with my mom, it was always like the effects. And when we were at my brother's, uh, grandma's house, it was like, you know, he'll do it in front of us and you get to see the effects, you get me. But it was the first time that, you know, somebody actually did like hard drugs in front of us. Man,

Omar 14:53

that, that's crazy Then, so he was doing drugs and did that, lead to you leaving there? How did you Yeah,

Hector 14:59

eventually. So, he had like this routine we would do so he can, you know, buy his, uh, his crack. So like every morning, this was like summertime. I was I wanna say like fifth or sixth grade, but it was summer vacation, so I was always with him. And, you know, we would always go to, uh, he had this routine where we would go to like a Walgreens or a cvs and he'll go inside and he'll steal disposable cameras. Right. And when he'll steal does disposable cameras, he'll come back in the car, we would go to, little Village on 26th Street, and then he'll flip those cameras and get whatever little money he can get. And then we'll go to the west side, like by KTown. And, you know, that's where he would go by, you know, his, his little fix man.

Omar 15:40

so after that, where did you end up getting placed after you, you left there?

Hector 15:43

Um, after that I ended up going to, another home. I was probably there for about two weeks until they found a, a lady who, um, I definitely appreciate taking me in. Her name is, uh, Stacy West. Okay. And, um, she ended up taking me in and at this time I'm, I'm like 12, 13. Yeah. You know, I'm just, I think I just finished sixth grade. And she ended up taking me in on the far south side, like on the hundred and ninth and Vernon. And um, you know, it was the first time that I was living, now I'm living with all Black Fleming. Okay. So, you know, we're Latinos, you know, we grew up, you know, that's, that's what we know we're Latinos. And I, I would like to say one thing that I definitely liked going through my experience was that I learned about different races. Yeah. You know, cultures. Yeah, exactly. Cultures. You get me. Like, I, I definitely learned a lot about'em. Um, even went with going to my brother's grandmother, you know, they're, they're Irish and, and it was just a whole different experience, you know, to go to different cultures and seeing how the cultures are and you know, it opens your mind to other things. Cuz now you're not just close-minded on, on one culture, your, your culture. You get me, you're getting to expand your mind and see like, okay, you get to see what it is from your point of view. Gotcha.

Omar 17:04

Right now when you mention her name, I don't know, it sound like you had like a, like, almost like an attachment. Like you really appreciated this, this lady. Do you remember some of the things that she did for you, maybe that, that you're like grateful or thankful for, for what she did for

Hector 17:17

you back then? Well, I mean, just taking me in overall. I mean Okay. Her being, you know, a mother. Okay. You gave her doing everything that my mother wasn't doing, you know? So I definitely appreciate that because one of, one of the things that she told me, like I, I love, she was always real. Okay. So one of the things that she told me was like, there's other people that taking kids only for the check. Okay. And I seen that with one of her friends. She had two kids that she took in that were in the system and you get paid. Okay. You know, you get a check for us every month. Right, right. Um, I didn't know the specific amount. Yeah. But she wouldn't use those checks on those kids that she had at all. And she would tell me like, what you need to understand is you're 13. you know, at this time, like I said, I just came outta sixth grade, I'm 13 and nobody's taken in teenagers. Nobody's taken in teenagers. Right. You get what I'm saying? Like, if anybody wants a kid, they want, uh, somebody that's young. Yeah. You get me, not somebody that's already been through so much, it's gonna be hard to control these teenage years and, and actually treat me like her son. And, and, and she did that. She definitely did that. Man,

Omar 18:25

man. How much time did you spend with, with that family there?

Hector 18:28

I was there for about three to four years. Oh, man.

Omar 18:32

Yeah. That was a nice little time there. Yeah.

Hector 18:34

Yeah, definitely. I ended up graduating, uh, eighth grade, going to high school over there, so, yeah.

Omar 18:39

did she have, uh, children

Hector 18:41

that you grew up with there? Yeah, she did. she had a older son. His name was Jay. Okay. Jason. And, I think he was a, probably like four years older than me. Okay. You know, he used to go to Dunbar. Right. And I, I still talk to him now. Oh yeah. Yeah. He stays in Arizona, so, but I still talk to him now. Definitely check up on him and yeah, man, that was definitely my, my older brother. Oh, no way at the time.

Omar 19:01

Yeah, man. So I know you mentioned she was like a, a mother you never had, but what are some of those qualities that, that you seen from her that really, like the way she loved you in some way.

Hector 19:12

Okay. Alright. So I got a perfect example. Yeah. When I first moved over there, you know, the neighborhood is all, it's an all black neighborhood, right? So when I first moved over there, I'm the only Mexican there, you get me and I want, bro, I wanna say for like a good two, three months. She didn't want me to go outside because she didn't know how the neighborhood was gonna act with me. Gotcha. She didn't know if I was gonna get bullied or it was be going to, uh, become something about race. She did not know and she didn't wanna risk it. Somebody that didn't care would've been. Yeah. Go, go, go outside, go make friends. Go play. Right. You get me in. And she didn't do that, bro. She didn't do that,

Omar 19:49

man. Like, go fend for yourself, but man, she she protected you. Yeah, exactly, Hey, that's deep. Yeah. Okay. So, so you're there three, four years. what's next in, in your life after

Hector 19:58

that? Um, well, she ends up wanting to, move to Arizona. Okay. She wanted to move to Arizona. I'm about a freshman at this time, so I'm about, you know, 14 going on. 15 And, I didn't wanna go to Arizona. Gotcha. I didn't wanna go to Arizona. I felt like there was nothing out there for me, you know, considering the fact that all my family is here in Chicago. Right. So I, I felt like I was gonna be missing something. Yeah.

Omar 20:24

Now, let me ask you this. While you were staying with her, those three, four years, did you have contact with your family?

Hector 20:30

Yeah. Okay. So that was another thing, like one thing with with Stacy is that she would take me. To my brother's house all the way on the north side, drop me off all the way by Fullerton and she'll take me all the way to my brother's house for the weekend. And then we would call our mom and be like, Hey, can you pick us up, uh, from the north side where, you know, we're at my brother's, uh, TIAs house and my mom was, would come pick us up. So we would always try to get that love and get that affection and try to, you know, still see our mom and meet our mom no matter, no matter what it was. So when Stacy wanted to go to Arizona, it was like, I'm, I'm missing something. Yeah. I'm missing something because I still want the love from my mother, no matter how much love I'm getting from Stacy. It's not, it's not the love that I wanted. Yeah. You gave me it was. Or, or from who you wanted. Exactly. Or from who I wanted. Exactly.

Omar 21:20

Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Man. Okay. So, man, like your heart, still wanted to connect with mom in some way. Mm-hmm. And, now let me ask you this. Did uh, Stacy know that you were seeing your mom still?

Hector 21:29

Uh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. she didn't mind. you know what ended up like, changing everything? Was that I kept getting in trouble. Okay. You know, when I was in the outside. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I kept getting in trouble once I actually went outside, like the first time I actually getting out in the neighborhood, it was like they knew me and I knew them for a long time. Okay. So we, we, we clicked. We didn't have no problems. And if anything I was getting into more trouble. Okay. You know, I was getting, now, now I know the neighborhood kids. Right. The ones that you wanted me to stay away from. Okay. You know, so now I was getting into trouble and, um, when she ended up deciding to move to Arizona, I ran away. All right. I ran away from house. I didn't take nothing. I don't even think I took clothes. And I ended up staying at one of my, one of my friend's house on the next block. And they would call me, call me. My caseworker would call me. And no, like, I'm on the run. I don't wanna go to Arizona. There's nothing out there for me, or I assume there was nothing out there for me. Right, right. You know? Cause again, I felt like I was missing out on something that, you know, that I needed. Yeah.

Omar 22:32

Okay. So, you ran away and, where do you go to from here? Like, how long, how long do you stay somewhere or where did you end up?

Hector 22:39

so I stayed, maybe a few days to a week at one of my friend's house. Left there, went to another friend. So I was just jumping from like house to house, right. Like literally just jumping from house to house until, you know, and, and I'm still keeping in contact with my caseworker, but it's more so like, you need to turn yourself into us so we can put you in a group home or, or find you another home. And I'm not trying to go through that process no more. Right. Like, I'm not trying to go through that process no more. You know, I've already been through so much and at this time I'm only 15. But like, my mindset is, is, you know, a lot older. Gotcha. You know, so I'm not trying to go through this, these process again, where I go to another family and another family and hope they like me and hope me treat me good. Yeah. You know, my big thing with living with Stacy was just the fact that I didn't wanna go to Arizona. Right. You know? And Yeah. Do,

Omar 23:30

You think if she hadn't made that choice, you still would've been there? That you would've stayed there? Yeah,

Hector 23:33

definitely. Yeah, definitely. And I guess, you know what? Looking back, that's being selfish. Right. Because she had nothing but the best interest for me. Right. You gave me, who's to say that if I would've went into Arizona, I could have had the best life possible. Gotcha. You know, I could have, I could have had a, a good life out there, but I wouldn't know because that wasn't, uh, something that I was risking to do. Right. Because, uh, I just want that love man. I want that love for my mom. Yeah. Okay.

Omar 23:59

Now let me ask you this. Uh, where's your dad at, uh, during this time, or even like in the beginning?

Hector 24:04

So, my dad, I never, I never met my dad. I think when I did meet my dad, I was probably, uh, 22 or 23. Okay. He called me through a, a Facebook messenger and, um, we start talking and he's telling me how he wants to see me and be a part of my life. And when I tell you, like, I had no contact with him, I don't know who you are growing up, my mom always tell me, I'm your mom and your dad, you know, she took that role like, I'm your mom and your dad. You know, your dad's not yours, but don't worry about that. So when he contacted me and he's like telling me like, oh, you wanna be part of this? Like, bro, I already went through everything without you. Right? I already been through group homes and different foster homes and jumping from home to home, that's when I needed you. Right? Now when I already got a handful of kids and I'm paying my own little rent, and I got my own thing going, I'm already a man. Gotcha. There's nothing, there's nothing you can do for me when I needed you. Or you know, I don't even think I needed him because I, he wasn't in my life, right? So I don't expect anybody to be there. That's not already in my life. Gotcha. You know, so, but there was nothing, um, like I told him, there's nothing you can do for me, bro. Like, I'm, I'm, I'm already a man. I'm paying my own, my own bills, my own rent. I got my kids. There's literally nothing you can do for me. You know, when I needed you or if I thought I needed you, you know, that was gonna be back then. Not when I already went through all the rough ups and downs.

Omar 25:30

Right, man. Yeah. And was that the only time you had contact with him or did you talk to him after

Hector 25:35

that? No, no, that was it. After that was the one and done, huh? Yeah, I never talked to him after that, to this day. Gotcha.

Omar 25:42

So now you mentioned that at this point you had kids, like, so when you ran away, what did you end up doing? Like, let's say, I know you mentioned kids, but that was probably maybe some years

Hector 25:51

after. So when I ran away, eventually, like, I wanna say maybe after a couple months my caseworker, let me move with my Tia. So now I'm going back to Pilsen. Okay. So now I'm going back to Pilsen. I'm still a freshman at this time. But I'm gonna finish my school year at, um, at CORs, which is all the way on the south side. So I, I finish, um, my freshman year, but now I'm just getting in trouble with my tia. I'm getting into fights at school. Um, and she's not liking it. Right. Um, I'm getting in trouble. I got my first tattoo when I was 15 and, and she just didn't like nothing that I was doing at that time. And you, you can't blame her. Right. You know, I'm a teenager. I don't, I don't pay no bills. I don't pay no rent and I'm just moving her. I wanna move and I'm doing what I wanna do. Right. You know, and, and nobody can tell me nothing. Yeah. You know, so I just, when I was staying with her, um, I think one of the last straws was, uh, I got into a fight at school. I got suspended for like 10 days. And, um, we kind of got into a little argument and she says, you know what? I'm tired of what you're doing. Um, you have a, you have an option. You can either, I'll take you to the juvenile place right now. And drop you off or, uh, you can go after I get out the shower. So I told her, okay, cool. Go take a shower and we'll go. After. As soon as she hopped in, I ran away again. I ran away from there and I, again, I did the same thing. I stood at friend's houses and you know, case worker contacted me and it got to the point where eventually my case worker allowed me to stay at my grandmother's house, which is the house in Cicero. Okay.

Omar 27:30

You know, so she back

Hector 27:31

back to where you began? Exactly. Back to where I began because my mother wasn't there, you know, she was living somewhere else at that time. Okay. So there, you know, in the beginning when we first got into the system, I couldn't go with my grandmother because my mom stayed with my grandma. Yeah. So they weren't gonna put us in the same household. Obviously you'll go upstairs or you know, a different apartment. But, um, I was able to get granted to go to my grandma's house and I was happy you get me cuz now. I'm with, with family. Yeah. You get me now. I'm with with real family. I mean, I'm not saying my Tia wasn't there for me or nothing cuz she did it all that she could. Right. You know, I don't blame her for making the choice she did because, you know, she got fed up. Oh yeah. Yeah. You know, she got fed up, she was tired of it and um, yeah man, she was just, she was tired of it, you know, and I don't blame her cuz you know, I look back now and it's just, I wasn't grateful with a lot of decisions I did. Yeah. You know, I was, I was definitely

Omar 28:22

ungrateful. Yeah. You know, you're teenager rebellious, you know, I'm sure you got a lot of anger for man from everything you've experienced. I mean, that's a, that's a lot of hard stuff that, uh, that, uh, a child shouldn't be having to go through. And I'm sure all that like, builds in and just leads to anger that you wanna like, vent with rebellion or whatever other stuff you were doing. Yeah, definitely. so once you moved to Cicero, what was the next step in your life there? What ended up happening there?

Hector 28:47

Um, ended up going to more East. Okay. For my sophomore, my junior year. Um, but, and then I started to get more so into the, the gaming in life. Okay. Like I said, it was always around us, you know, we were always cool with, you know, either this side or that side. Cuz I was always like, I hung around with a group of guys at that time where we were new neutrons, but we were renegade. Like, we're cool with you, but if you wanted to start something, that's fine with us too. You know? So it was, at that time it was like, you know, I'm, I'm in the middle. Yeah, yeah. Like, I'm, I'm in the middle, you know, I haven't, I haven't chose to be with either side, but, you know, back then a lot of guys, you know, they used to wanna, you know, come and check you. And even, even, you know, back then telling somebody, a gang member that tried to check you and you tell'em like, no, you know, I don't do this, I don't do that, or I'm not this. You'll still get into. Yeah. You know, saying, saying, you're not this, you're not that, that doesn't mean anything. Yeah. I mean,

Omar 29:45

even they could even ask you, well, where do you live? Mm-hmm. And just by, if you tell'em where you grew up in or live right away, they assume. Okay. You're that. Exactly. Exactly. And even like you mentioned, a neutron, that basically means you're neutral, not on one gang or the other. Exactly. So, but yeah, you're right. You could tell a man, you know, Hey, I ain't with this gang banging. Nah,

Hector 30:05

none of that matter. Cause they'll, you know, they'll always try to make you, you know, drop another gang down or, right. And it's like, what's the point? Yeah. You know, I just told you I'm nothing. Yeah. But I see that nothing gets me nowhere. Right. So you have to defend yourself. Gotcha. Because regardless, it's gonna happen, you know, regardless. Especially like growing up in the, in the early two thousands, you know, where Game Bang was still active and like now it's more, you know, everybody has a gun. you know, everybody has a gun. But back then it was more like you actually like fist fighting and you know, a couple people might use some weapons and you grab a bat or a bottle, you get me. But it was nothing like where you have to jump to the gun every time. Every time. Every time. Gotcha.

Omar 30:49

All right. So yeah, you, at this point, you said you're in the middle. Did that change at a, at a, at a point in your life?

Hector 30:54

Yeah. Yeah, definitely. me and, uh, the little group we were with, we just one side started, started to show more love than the other side. Okay. So we were like, well, let's see what's up with this side. Then, you know, they're showing us love and it, it was definitely that, it was brainwashing persuading. Like, I would go to the hood and we would go out to eat, but, oh, I didn't have to pay for nothing. Gotcha. You know, we would, you know, they'll have drugs around and if I needed something to sell, they, they would front it to me. Right. You know, everything was just, everything was available at, at no cost. or what you think was no cost. Okay. But putting your life on the line was the ultimate cost. Right, right. Because in the end, you would die for, for that gang, that block. Right. You gimme for, for a, for a name. So, you know, you're seeing your, at first you're like, oh, you know, this is, this is love. You know? Yeah. You know, they're looking out for me. They're, they're buying me stuff. They're buying me this. We got the, we got the girls, you know, we're, we're doing our thing. Right. You know, so they, they brainwash you, you get me and that's the, you know, the side that show more love or the side that we went to. Okay.

Omar 32:00

Yeah. So you mentioned of brainwashing. So what did that lead you to do? I mean, getting all this love you mentioned it is not for free cuz it came outta cost. So what did you end up doing or,

Hector 32:10

well, I mean, I was the type, like, so growing up in the system, I wasn't with, with family, you know, since I was always going like to home to home before I went with my tia, I always had a solo mindset. So I always, you know, thought to myself, you know, even, even now, like I vent, I vent to myself. Okay. You know, I vent, I vent to myself. Like, uh, my nickname in the hood is Flaco. So when I vent to myself, Hector talks to F Flaco and f Flaco gives him bad answers. You get me. And that, I did that for a long time. I did that for a long time. Even, even now to this day, you know, I try to stay positive, but if I feel like I don't have nobody to vent to, I will vent myself. Okay. And I will tell me what I think is good to hear, you know? Right. And you know, everything sounds good when you're telling yourself it, right?

Omar 32:59

Yeah. Like, like they say the only time I, I talk to myself when I need an expert opinion,

Hector 33:05

I

Omar 33:05

know, I know it's a joke, but yeah. Okay. No, yeah, yeah. But that makes sense, man. Almost, man. I would look at it like in almost like a self preservation mode. Like, man, you gotta take care of self. Cause man Yeah, of course. You know, my family's not there for me, you know, of course I know you had your brother there, but, you know due to the circumstances you guys get separated. Mm-hmm. So, yeah, definitely. That makes perfect sense. That man, you will have the mentality. So, so, uh, okay, you have this mentality lookout yourself, but now you're in the gang. how does that look as you're like in it and getting involved in certain things?

Hector 33:36

Just making a name for myself. Okay. So, you know, every gang's like this, every gang has that, that handful of people that you only mess with. You know, you could turn on a gang, but out of that whole gang, you might be only real close to two people. Right. Like, might just be best friends with only two people, but every, but you're still part of the gang. Right. You know, so when I turned out, it was just more so make a name for myself. If I wasn't going to school with you and you just happened to be like one of the older guys, I, I didn't care. Okay. I didn't care. Like I, I, I had the mindset where, you know, I don't, I don't have to respect you, you get me, and, and vice versa. You don't have to respect me, but I felt like if you weren't in my little circle within my gang, I didn't, I didn't care about you. Okay. Like, I didn't care about you. I just wanted to make my name for myself, hang around with my guys. And, and that was it. You, a lot of gangs have a lot of cliques. Yeah. You know, so, and it's always like that. It's always Oh, yeah,

Omar 34:32

yeah, yeah. And that's, that's I would say like, like, like a lot of'em, like you say, you got like your inner circle and then of course then you start getting into the bigger, so let me ask you this, you got that mindset, like, man, you mentioned about respect, man, I ain't gonna respect you. Mm-hmm. uh, I'm sure that had to get you into some trouble, especially let's say, maybe some of the older guys, like in the

Hector 34:51

gang. Yeah. Well, yeah. A lot of, a lot of my first fights were with, um, the older guys. Okay. You know, I, a lot of my first fights were with the older guys, and, um, it was more so. About, about respect. Okay. You know, they would, my mom's not your regular mom. Okay. So my mom was in the hood when we were in the hood, when I was game banging on the block, my mom was right there. Cuz you know, my mom was either coming in the hood to get her, to get her little drugs or just being in the hood just to be, be in the hood. Okay, you gimme. So my mom was always around that. With that being said, you know, I, my mom was around the age as a lot of the older guys. Gotcha. So if they were drinking or if they were chilling or partying, whatever the case may be, there was times where they disrespected her, whether it was verbally or put their hands on her where, yeah, I'll all day, all day, we will fight all day. You know, and, and the crazy thing is, is that I got into more fights with my guys than I did with the ops Yeah. Crazy. As crazy as that sounds, bro. Like, as crazy as that sounds like a lot of the first fights that my guys would see would be with my, my older guys. Right. And I'm 17, 18 and I'm fighting, you know, the 29 30 year olds and Yeah. But that's cuz their mindset is different. They think they could talk to you how they want to talk to you and do this and do that. And with me, it just, it wasn't like that. Right. You know, it wasn't, everything I've been through wasn't like that. I wasn't folding for, for nobody. Why? Why? Gotcha. Like,

Omar 36:23

no man. Okay. Yeah. That mean that makes sense. You know, like, now, let's say in the gangs, like sometimes let's say you got like your chief or whatever mm-hmm. you disrespect them. You could, you could fight him, but then like you could get it like violated afterwards.

Hector 36:37

No. Or no. How? That wasn't like that with us. Okay. We, man, that wasn't like that with us. Like we were, man, the way we were renegade. Okay. You know, shit. Our, our, our little chief would tell us like, Hey, if you have a problem with somebody, take it to the alley or. You know, I don't, I don't know if we cursed on here, but you know, he, yeah.

Omar 37:00

I mean, you could, you know, I'll beep there. Lemme see. I got a beep and I don't think I got a beep. Go ahead man. Just talk regular for real. No,

Hector 37:05

but he would tell us like, you know, if you have a problem with each other, you know, take it to the alley or shut the fuck up. Okay. Period. Right? Like, there was no in between, there was no, if you do this to him, you do this to him, there's gonna be consequence for both of you. No. Everything that happened in the hood, whether it was to you or a family member, you dealt with that on your own. Okay. Like, you dealt with that on your own. Like that's just, and, and, and not a lot of hoods are even like that, right? No, not

Omar 37:32

personally Respect a structure. Exactly. I would say like, like, like for the gang I was in, you have somebody, let's say we call it like for a certain, let's say section or area. Mm-hmm. And then you have, let's say like a chief, let's say from one block, let's say this street and then that street. And then they'll all go under the other ones. So there was like a certain, I would say order, I guess Like a pecking order. Yeah. Yeah. I get what you, so, but yeah, definitely like the, the things I witnessed was like, man, you, let's say disrespect that guy, they're gonna, like I said, go back to the violations. Hey man, um, whatever it is, a minute or whatever it is. Yeah,

Hector 38:05

definitely. Definitely. And a lot of, uh, you know, a lot of, a lot of gangs are like that, but like, I don't know, man, with us, it was just different. And with me and my mindset, it was just different. Cuz I was the type to tell you like, you know, get, like, get the hell outta my face. Like, just like, I don't know. I was quick to to push people away, push people to the side because growing up that's just what it was already. Right. You know, like, uh, you know, my loved ones were already not with me and I used a lot of my excuses based on, you know, the lifestyle I grew up with growing up in foster homes. Gotcha. You know,

Omar 38:41

Yeah. So I'm sure that that played a part in almost like harden yourself, harden your heart, and man, definitely just your mindset. So, okay, you're in that lifestyle, man. What things were you getting involved in? Did you end up getting, let's say, into some legal trouble as you're out there, or no? So how,

Hector 38:55

how did that look? So the crazy thing is like, like, I don't know, man. Every time I was always like solo or I always had like one or two guys, bro. Literally only like one or two guys that I like trusted, right? So if we, if we, you know, did anything or whatever the case may be, or went on a mission, like I would either go to them or I'll do it by myself, right? Like, I was always like that type just doing by myself. So I never got any legal trouble. Um,

Omar 39:21

but that, but that doesn't mean you were, you weren't causing trouble No. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah. I know what you're saying. Yeah. So when

Hector 39:26

I say legal trouble, I mean more so like, like felonies. No, no. Right, right. You know, we get locked up for the little, um, mob action Yeah. And the little misdemeanors and, but that's how slight, right. You know, that that's how slight I've, but. Like big legal trouble where I had to do years or anything like that. I've always just been, you know, just been, I move smart, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thought

Omar 39:47

I got you. Yeah. You get, so, but you were out there doing your, your things in the street and like you said, it just, you just did your trouble and that was it. Yeah, yeah.

Hector 39:56

Got right. Yeah, I definitely, I, I got blessed a lot, man. Like God, definitely. I got blessed a lot. Like I got blessed a lot. you know, there was a time where me, and I'm just leaving out my house with a couple of my guys and, um, I closed the first door, but I didn't lock it. Okay. So as we're leaving the narcs pull up and they ended up hopping out and they go right to the door where we came out of and they opened it. And I'm thinking like, damn, like, you know, I know I got some bangers in there. Yeah, I know. I got some drugs in there and they're about to walk in there like nothing, like legit, like nothing. So at this point I'm like, And I was living in front of a school. So add that on top of that. Add that on top of that man. Like they're not playing that.

40:37

Yeah.

Omar 40:37

You, you, you wanna share what happens? Maybe there's some people not from Chicago. What, what's the law like with that here in Chicago or,

Hector 40:44

well, I mean, when you have like weapons and, and, and drugs, you, I think it's like a thousand feet or, I don't know what it is, but it's definitely a certain distance away from schools that you gotta be. If not they man, your charges become 10 times more than what a regular charge would be. So at this point, my man, my, my German's pumping. Yeah. You know, they open the first door, they go to the second door, they open it, but if it wasn't for my dog that ran to the door and made them close it, and they got on the walkie-talkies and, and, and they just, he has a dog. He has a dog, and they didn't go in there. They like, it's the little things, bro. Like, like it's the little things man. And I was just so like, like it was a weight off my shoulder. Like my life could have been. Upside down right there, right? My life could have been upside down. I would've been locked up. And ain't nobody else gonna take no charges. Everything's in your house. Yeah. You get me like, oh, yeah. Yeah. I would've been struck, bro. Like I would've been struck, but I'm telling you, shout out to my dog, man. Hey, what

Omar 41:45

was his name, man? Blue. Blue. Shout out to blue. My boy. Blue. You remember the movie Old school, huh? My boy. Blue. I got you. Hey, I know right now you mentioned, God, you, you brought up God. Mm-hmm. Let, let me ask you, um, in you're growing up, your childhood, even up to this point where you're at, you know, with the situation, with the narcs, um, what, what part does God play in your life? Or even in your mind? Like, did you ever have any experience going to church? What was that like

Hector 42:16

in your life? Yeah, I went to a lot of different churches, I would say. I used to go to, Sunday school, which is, uh, I think it was in Indiana. Okay. You know, they'll come around the neighborhood and, you know, gather everybody up and we would go to church there. But even when I got into the foster homes, like when I was living with Stacy, yeah. Um, at first she wasn't religious. Okay. She wasn't religious at all, and she ended up becoming a Jehovah's Witness. Okay. So I think it was like every Wednesday we would do like a Bible study and we would talk about Jehovah and, and we would get into the hope works with that. And there was times where my friends, I would sleep over their house and their mom would invite us to church and it was a Lutheran church, right? So I was always around some type of, or I always believed in higher power. Okay, you get me. I always believed that like there was a higher power. If not, I'm telling you, I got blessed a lot. I got blessed a lot to where it's like I didn't, I don't even have to be here, bro. Okay. I don't even have to be here. You get me And, and. You know, that's definitely God, or there's definitely a higher power looking out in for your, in, in your way, man, in your favor. Right.

Omar 43:23

Okay, man. And, and now, uh, let me ask you this, like, like recently, is, is there anybody in your life that has, has been trying to draw you

Hector 43:30

close to God? Yeah, man. Uh, definitely my girl. Okay. Um, you know, she's, she's definitely religious to a t all right. You know, she, she goes to her retreats, she has her bible studies, you know, if she's not working on, on her Sundays, she's at service. So she's definitely, somebody that keeps me positive. Okay. You know, like I, my mindset is, um, is negative, you know, I mean, lately it's been, I've been trying to see the positive side of things, so I wanna say like, within the last month or two, I've been, um, pretty positive about situations. Even, even thinking twice before I, before I do something. Okay. And before I was never doing that. I did the thinking after everything was already done. So she gets me, I always say like, we're like ying and yang, you know, like, gotcha. Like she's, she's my positive and I'm the negative, you know, she's everything that I wanna be, you know, I wanna be all that, all that positive that she has in her. That's what I want. Okay. You get me. And, um, she definitely keeps me on my toes, man. It definitely keeps me to see the brighter side of things no matter what, no matter what it is, no matter how bad I think it is. She always wants me to see the positive side of it, and I'm always, I'm always worst case scenario.

Omar 44:39

Gotcha. I know I believe a while back we were talking mm-hmm. and you mentioned something about her showing you a, um, a certain type of love. And I, I believe you said something like, man, how could somebody love like

Hector 44:52

that? Yeah. Yeah. So, do you remember the statement you made? Yeah, definitely. Um, so when I met her, you know, I was going through a lot, um, mentally I was going through a lot physically, like, you know, with, with, you know, my little medical conditions. And just, I don't, my mindset wasn't looking for, like, of course, I, I was messing around with a lot of women. Gotcha. But I wasn't looking for one specific woman to fall in love with, you know? So when I met her, I wanna say within like a month, a month and a half, maybe two, um, she had told me like, man, like, like, I love you. And she would show it. And, and at that time I just told her like, I'm sorry, but I don't love you. Um, this is too early. This is too early. And this is not something that, it was weird, bro. It was weird. It was weird because she was showing me all this affection. She was buying me things when I didn't ask for'em. She was getting the little things for me. And, and when I say little things, it it like my favorite drink, you know, my favorite food. And she was doing it without me asking. So she was showing me a lot of love, a lot of affection. That I haven't experienced in a long time. Okay. You know, like I wasn't, and it was weird to me because I wasn't getting none of that love from my mom, you know? So when she's telling me that she loves me and that she wants to be with me, and she sees a future in me, and she wants to be my wife, that's all like, like, like how? I don't know. Like how, how can you love somebody so broken? You know? Like you, I'm, I'm so broken and, and you, you're giving me all your love. You're giving me all your love. So it was just weird because the love that I wanted was from my mom and she wasn't giving, like, I, I didn't get that. And that's something that, you know, I opened up to my girl about and she'll, she brings it up and she, she'll tell me like, you are the way you are because of your mom. Yeah. You know, you, you, you're heartless. And, and, and, You know, you're cohort and others because of your mom. You know, you won't allow any woman to love you because your mother didn't love you. Right. You know, so that's something that she, you know, she'll, she'll tell me. And it's, it's true. You know, it's true. It's, it's hard to admit, but it's definitely, you know, it's definitely true. You know, I even still to this day, you know, I, I want that, that genuine motherly love you get me. Right. Without all the drama, without the, the drug using and without the drinking and without the game banging like that, that that mother that's just gonna be there for you when you call her and she's gonna be your right or die. Right. You know, like, it's gonna be there for you through thick and thin, you know, where you don't have to worry about her leaving two, three in the morning to go to go get some crack or go get some, like you gimme Yeah. Yeah, she was just, it was just, I dunno, it's crazy, man. Like she was just showing me a lot of love that I wasn't used to. Right. That I, I just wasn't used to it, bro. Yeah.

Omar 48:00

Yeah. I I got you, man. Yeah, it makes sense. I mean, to, to feel that way and look at it that way. Yeah. I believe what you told me, like, man, it was hard for you to accept, uh, your, your girlfriend's love. Cause like, man, you said my, my own mom didn't even love me

Hector 48:11

this way. Yeah, yeah. Facts. So she didn't, because you gotta think about it, man. If she loved us the way she loved us, we would've never been in the system so long. And, and the reason why a lot of people might think, oh, well how could you know she don't love you? And, and we ended up having, um, a meeting with my caseworker. Okay. I wanna say I was probably like in seventh grade. So this was all like in the beginning of us getting into the system and, um, I lost respect for my mom, but I still wanted the love like, And when I say I lost respect for my mom that day, it was because of the fact that we're talking about her, um, getting us back, you know, like living, living together. And, and she legit told my caseworker, I'm not even gonna lie, I wasn't gonna try to get them back. And that hurt me because bro, every day, every day I was going to sleep, going to sleep, tossing and turning thinking, okay, cool. Maybe tomorrow or maybe the day after that, she'll come and get us maybe bro, every day, every day, every day. In the back of my head, she was trying her hardest to get us back. Right. But in fact, she was living her best life, bro. She was, she had no kids to worry about anymore. She was doing her thing, she was doing her drugs, and she had no responsibilities. Yeah, she had no responsibilities. So I'm like, you know, I'm like, damn, because. I'm, I'm thinking you're trying and you're not even trying, like, you're, you, you're not even trying. And that I lost all respect for her after that. Like, like to where, when I started gang banging, I would get into it with her and I would disrespect her. And, um, uh, it was just bad man. It was just bad, you know? It just, it, it got bad between me and her. And it wasn't until years later, um, that I just decided like, okay, I want a relationship with my mom and I don't want her to pass away and me regret doing the things that I did or saying the things that I did. And although, although it should be the other way around. Yeah. She should swallow her pride and, and, and be there for us and be a mother instead of having a mindset of, you know, we're just, we gotta respect you because you're our mom. Yeah, that's fine. I would respect you if you were a mom. Gotcha. You get me. But you had other women in our lives playing that role. Yeah. you know, you had other, you know, Stacy play that role, my tia played that role. My brother's, um, grandparents played that role. You had everybody playing this role that I didn't want that role from. Yeah. But, and you know, so

Omar 50:57

yeah. That's, that's definitely tough, man. But, uh, yeah, like you mentioned, at least you have that, not, not the relationship I would say that you want, but at least I guess the communication, you know, in a sense right. With her now or,

Hector 51:09

yeah. Yeah, definitely. Now, um, we communicate and everything, like we're cool, but I can't, if I was in an emergency, she wouldn't be the number I dial. Yeah, I gotcha. Like, and, and it is messed up to say, because that's your mother, right? You get me. But she wouldn't go above and beyond. Yeah, she would not go above and beyond. I can go through my phone right now if I was in a dying situation and I would scroll right past her name. Right. Because again, she's not. Somebody that I can depend on. Yeah. And I knew that growing up in the

Omar 51:44

system. Yeah. Yeah. Now, now let me ask you, going back to, to, to your girl now, is that a number you feel you could call? Like based on the way she, you, you mentioned she loves

Hector 51:54

on you? Yeah, definitely. Definitely. You know, I love that girl, bro. Okay. Like, she, again, she's everything I'm not, right. And if it wasn't for her, I'll still be in the same mindset I was last year when I met her. Right. Like, you know, I was, I had her, but I wanted to keep doing me and keep messing with other women. Yeah. But, but I wanted to hurt. Yeah. You know, I want to hurt. And, but, and it wasn't until one day, I wanna say we were like maybe six months in and she was still consistent with the love. With the affection, you know, with that right or die mindset of just being there for me, not even getting into any of the BS I was getting into, but just being there for me. And, um, It wasn't until one day I woke up and, um, I was just like, man, like I just, I have to love this woman. Like, I, I have to love, I'm not obligated to, but I, all the love and everything that she's doing for me, like, I have to love this woman. I have to love this woman. God put her in my life for a reason. I could continue to keep doing bad and she's swerving that path. You get me, she's making me see, like I said, the positive side of things, right? So I was like, man, like I have to love this woman. She's doing everything she possibly can for me. And then some,

Omar 53:13

I I know you mentioned something earlier. You said, how, how could she love somebody that that's broken? Yeah. Like yourself and, uh, man, what, what comes to my mind? It's almost like, like God's loving on you through her man. Cause I know you mentioned she's always at church. She's, you know, she's always doing. We mention retreats, Bible studies, and Yep. Man, to be honest, that that's the way that God loves man. Cause, the God of the Bible man, the Bible says that what we were yet sinners that Christ died for us. You know, when it's like, how can, how can God love that way? Or even like, mention like your girlfriend, man, I'm broken. Mm-hmm. like, I don't deserve this kind of love, man. Like, and even the Bible talks about it, and though I think it's in the book of Psalms, that, that even though my father and my mother forsake me, that the Lord will never forsake us. And man, like, as, as I'm thinking about it, that's, that's kind of like the kind of love you're receiving now, but it's foreign to you, man. Like, yeah, this, this kind of love doesn't exist. Exactly. You know, like, man, this, if my own mom, my flesh and blood couldn't show me this love, how could, you know, almost like a stranger, right? Cause he's not even, you know, like, She'll show me this kind of love. Like right now at this point of life, like where, where do you feel you're at now? I know she's like, trying to draw you like to, go to church or do this meeting or that, but you like, uh, personally, well, where do you feel you're at? Like, if you're being honest with yourself As far as like,

Hector 54:40

I'm at a, I'm at a standstill. Okay. Um, I'm at a standstill. I'm dealing with something, I'm dealing with a case right now, a legal case that's putting my future on hold because, you know, it's a, it's a certain amount of years that I could potentially get and it, it, it's hard for me to plan for the future when I don't know what my future brings right now when I'm paying a lawyer for my future. Gotcha. You get me. So right now I wanna say I'm in a standstill, but I'm in a more positive, I have a more positive attitude. Because a few months ago when I first got the job, that we're working at now, I was just negative. My mind was just money, money, money. How am I gonna pay this lawyer? Uh, how am I gonna pay rent? How am I gonna make sure this and that is done? And then, and my mind was just scrambling all over the place. I was negative. I was getting, I was getting mad about everything. And now that I have a better point of view as far as like seeing things from a positive side, I, I, I feel good. Like, I feel good, even though I don't know what my future brings. Right? You know, I, I still feel in a better mindset, more positive with myself and, and more open to accepting God. Okay. You give me, I, I don't know, bro. Like, my mindset before was just, it was all over the place. It was just negative. I wanna do me, I wanna do what I want and can nobody tell me nothing. And that was my mindset. most of my life. Gotcha. Like growing up, that's just what it was. You know, I want to do me or I want my way and, and, and that's it. And um, you know, but I definitely see a future with her. I mean, she's been riding with me through everything. We're almost going on two years. She's been with me before the money. Obviously, she's gonna be there after the money because depending on how this legal case goes, like, you know, it, it's, you know, she's definitely my right or die bro. So I def Amen. Like I said, I gotta, I gotta love her, bro. I got, I got to.

Omar 56:45

Okay. Amen. I know you mentioned like a future together. Now, would she want you like to, to go like her way, you know, like as far as like the church side? I know you mentioned you're in a standstill, but would that have to be like, part of the deal or how do you look at it? Or have you guys discussed that? Well,

Hector 57:02

what, what do you mean? Like,

Omar 57:03

like, uh, I know, yeah, yeah. She goes to church and I know you mentioned she's been trying to get you in mind, you know, like, okay,

Hector 57:08

so like she's not. She doesn't necessarily like, oh, you have to go to my church or nothing like that. It's the fact that I'm trying, okay. It's the fact that I'm even seeking you get me, and that's, that's better than what it was a year ago. Yeah. Because you asked me to go to church a year ago. I got some money to make today, you know, you can go to church by the time you come back, we can chill and watch mo Cool, kick it, whatever. But I got some money to make. Right. So I wasn't, my mindset back like a year ago when we got together wasn't like, yeah, let's go to church. And not that I found upon that. It was just, I felt like at that point in time in my life, like I didn't, I, I always told her I got my own relationship with God. I don't have to go to church to have a relationship with him. Okay. You know, I always told her I have my own relationship with him and, um, you know, so. Me, not me necessarily, you know, going to her church or nothing. Right. Like, it wasn't like the fact that I'm trying now and that you've been inviting me and you've been consistent, you know, for the time that you've been in, in my life and we've been coworkers, you, you know, you, you, you text me invitations to come to, you know, our little workout and, and the word and, and going to service and bible studies and you're consistent with that. And the fact that I'm even, um, given into it. Okay. You know, one thing that she told me when I told her was, how can you love somebody so broken? Was the fact that she said, but I see that you can be fixed. You know, I see, I see the change in you. If I didn't see the change in you, I wouldn't waste my time. Right? Like, she literally told me that. And, and it's true because I was, you know, growing up the way I did, it was always easy for me to, if I had to change, I could change. And nobody can tell me. I don't have nobody in my ear telling me this and telling me that. Because it was all, it all came down to me. Like it all came down to me. I always made decisions on my own. That's when I would vent myself. Yeah, yeah. You know, vent myself, Hey, the same. Right. The same. Right. The same. Right. But, and then try to justify it in my own way. Gotcha. You know, so, but man, yeah, she definitely, um, she's just definitely proud of at least even me attempting to Right, right. Yeah.

Omar 59:21

You know, you're still here, how old you say you are, man. Uh, 29. 29, man. 30 in December. Yeah. And I'm sure if you're looking back on your life, you probably look back at, man, there's a lot of times where. You probably could have been taken out, right? Being, I mean, being in the streets, man, concerning. And you're still here, and I know you mentioned you got this, case you're, you're facing, man, God willing, you know, things work out with that and, and who knows what the future holds for you, man. But, uh, anything else you wanna share before we get ready to

Hector 59:47

close out? No, bro. I mean, I think, uh, you know, as for now, I think we'll end up doing an update in the future and everything. But I think for now, I mean, I kind of said what I felt, you know, needed to be said. Okay.

Omar 1:00:03

Alright man. Thanks for sharing all that, man. That's, that's pretty deep, man. Like, uh, just the childhood, the experience and man, it's rough. You know? I don't think, no kids should be going through that, but man, we were, um, definitely gonna keep you on prayer, man. And, uh, usually I, I'll ask our guests to say a prayer man. You feel like saying one or, or you want me to,

Hector 1:00:22

I'd rather you lead with that. I would feel right now I. I'm a loss of words. Gotcha. So I wouldn't know. Yeah. Well

Omar 1:00:27

I got you. No, no. You know, the words put together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'll say it. Prayer man. And uh, I know you'll be praying on part two, man, cuz by then, you know God's gonna grab a hold of you. There we

Hector 1:00:35

go. See that's the positive. There.

Omar 1:00:37

Go, go man. There you go. But then you're gonna be out here preaching to us, man. So, Hey God. Willy man. Hey, I, thanks for coming through Hector, man. Thank you for having me bro. Man. Thanks for sharing your story with us. And I'm gonna say a prayer man. I'm gonna say a prayer for you and, the reason also I wanted you to be on here cuz I know you, you were sharing, uh, bits and pieces of the story with me. And I know there's a lot of, uh, kids in Chicago that have. Gone through that stuff. Like you mentioned, there was group homes, there was kids, all type of different ages. But man, I'm gonna, I'll say, I pray for you and them, you know, uh, heavenly Father, I just, uh, I come to you this evening, father, in the name of your son, Jesus. I thank you for Hector father and I just, I pray for him. I just thank you for the point in his life that he's in. I know he says he's more open father to, to hearing from you. And, I just thank you cuz I know you're revealing yourself to him little by little. and I know that I, I feel father that, that you have a plan and a purpose for this young man. that there's a reason why he's alive and, uh, there's a reason why he's been through what he's been through. And, uh, I just pray, father, that you just grab a hold. uh, I pray, that you reveal yourself to him in a personal way. I just thank you for the love that he's been receiving and experiencing in his life. and I know ultimately that that's you loving on him and through different ways, different, areas. But I like to pray for all the young men, the young women that are in group homes, for those that have, gone through similar stories, like my brother been taken away from their family, not knowing where they're gonna go to next. that you love on these children. I pray that you place'em in good homes. families like, like he mentioned, uh, Stacy West, I believe was her name. Yeah. And just, uh, uh, just opening their doors and showing love, father to strangers, father, strangers, but they're ultimately all your children. We pray for them, father, for those that the parents have left behind or abandoned and forsaken. But like I mentioned earlier, your word says, father, that you would not forsake him. I just thank you for this time, father, bless those that are listening to this message. and then just do what you need to do In my life and his life and in the, the life of, young men, that grew up with similar backgrounds, young men and women that grew up in homes, that grew up in the neighborhood and gangs and the family drugs and, and all type of things. And, I pray that you raise up men and women that will break these generational cycles. a lot of times there's gang life. There's, uh, lifestyle. It gets passed down from one generation to the next. but we know father, that, through Jesus Christ's that the curses could be broken, generational curses, and that you raise up men and women that will turn the, the destiny, uh, the paths, the direction of their families around, uh, offer your name and offer your glory. Father and Jesus name I pray, amen. All right, brother, man, just uh, thank you for coming man. And uh, this is, once again, this is a, a Wrong to Strong Chicago. My name's Omar Calvio and I am wrong to strong.