34. Feeling Big Feelings - with Sorcha Wolnik

I'm here today with Sorcha Wolnik, a fellow trauma informed life coach in New Zealand who works with Women who feel unfulfilled. 

When Sorcha works with unfulfilled women she notes that the weeds the women are in can look different but the roots are typically the same. The weeds may look like parenting, career and relationships, but the roots are often unspoken rules and standards that make women feels all tangled up. The paradigm of the perfect mom, the good wife, the independent women - what even is that?

She talks about emotions and they don't need to be judged as wrong. She helps teach the new emotional language to girls when they are young. 

She teaches women to regulate the nervous system, to come back into their body so they can hear themselves and tap into their intuition.

Anger can be sticky and tarry when we're actually feeling hurt or we're feeling sad or we're feeling scared. But we don't know how to be with those emotions. So we layer on some anger, we compound it with anger, and that anger I find disconnects or separates us from others. That's a secondary emotion because that's almost the tip of the iceberg that we're letting people see. You know, when we're irritable, when we're frustrated, when we're that kind of angry, and it drives people away, because under the surface of the water is actually fear or sadness. But there's other times that anger is the whole iceberg. You know, and then, you know, we almost can hold space for it. So I think being I don't want to say clear, but being able to ask yourself, Am I really angry or is there something else here for me? Am I actually scared? Where am I actually hurting? And if that's the case, you know, allow space for for those feelings to be held. You know, but if it's like, no, I really am really bloody angry. Then let's hold space for the anger. 

Sometimes the force of our emotions is so great that we actually have to release before we can calm our nervous system. 

Sorcha's listener tip - keep it simple!

Resources:

Sorcha Wolnick - Instagram @sorchawolnik

Claudia Williams

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