ADHD søstre
ADHD Søstre Podcast: Din Billet til det Skøre Hverdagsliv
Velkommen til "ADHD Søstre Podcast" - den eneste rigtige ADHD podcast, der tager dig med på en vild tur gennem livet med diagnosens op og nedture! I vores podcast tager vi som regel ud i Tinas sommerhus - for at få ro og for at optager alle vores skøre, sjove og ustrukturerede samtaler, og du er inviteret til at lytte med.
Hvad sker der, når to ADHD-søstre slår sig sammen?
Kaos, grin og uforudsigelighed! Vi lover, at vores podcast er som vores hjerner - ustruktureret, sjov og fuld af afbrydelser.
"ADHD Søstre Podcast" er ikke kun for dig med ADHD. Det er også for alle, der er nysgerrige på, hvad det betyder at leve med ADHD, og for dem, der ønsker at bryde tabuer samt få et ærligt indblik i hvordan ADHD også kan være. Både som mor, søskende, fagperson eller hvordan du nu har ADHD inde på livet.
Tag en pause fra hverdagens hektiske lyntog, og hop ombord på vores skøre rejse! Og når du er færdig med at lytte, kan du finde os på Instagram på @adhdsostre, @louimakesense og @minpopcornhjerne for mere vanvittig underholdning. 🍿
God fornøjelse
ADHD søstre
S3 E7 - ADHD & relationer (og lidt sex)
Har du nogensinde spekuleret over om det var nødvendigt at tage en hovedpinspille - OM du kan tænke hovedpinen væk ved at flytte fokus?
I dagens afsnit guider vi dig igennem vores liv med relationer på godt og ondt og hvordan det har påvirket os mentalt. Vores egen personlige udviklingsrejse og den udviklingsrejse vi har gjort sammen som søstre, er måske ikke helt som du har gået og troet. Vi taler om jeres rejse - gennem de beskeder vi har fået i løbet af de sidste snart 3 år som instagrammere i dette diagnoseland og om alle de gange i og vi har forsøgt at navigere i familiedynamikken efter en diagnose og hvordan forskellige generationer håndterer oplevelser med diagnoser forskelligt.
Den digitale verden vi lever i i dag - i form af sociale mediers uundgåelige påvirkning, gør at vi kommer tættere på hinanden, for selv om vi ofte bander skærmen langt væk, så kan den rent faktisk gøre en forskel når vi føler os Aller mest alene... Det har vores profiler bevist gang på gang.
Og så vender hvor befriende humor er, for at give sig selv egenomsorg, i hvert fald for os... for man er nødt til at kunne grine af sig selv, for at kunne være i alt det mørke som også er inde i os.
Tag med os på denne rejse og grin sammen med os, når vi går en tur i en lille plantage i Vejers Strand. Opdag hvordan vores erfaringer og perspektiver kan give dig et nyt syn på at navigere i livets omskiftelighed og hvordan du kan vælge at se på dine nære relationer.
Hvis du kan li vores podcast, så husk og FØLGE den, så du bliver den første til at vide når vi laver nye afsnit. Og husk at RATE den, så andre kan få glæde at dine kommentarer omkring podcasten. Vi er på en vigtig mission som forhåbentligt også hjælper dig - og med ovenstående er DU med til at nedbryde TABU omkring ADHD.
Du kan købe vores anti-stress ringe og shoppingbags HER
Alt overskud går til podcasten da vi laver den gratis.
Kan du slet ikke få nok af os?
Så følg med på vores fælles og private instagram, hvor vi deler endnu mere omkring vores krøllede hjerner.
Fælles: @adhdsostre
Tina: @minpopcornhjerne
Louise: @louimakesense
We need a pair of glasses.
Speaker 2:I don't have one. We're on our way.
Speaker 1:Hi Lue, hi Tine, I think we forgot to say the other one. We'll give it a try, but it can be something. We're still in the house. There's been a 12 hour.
Speaker 2:There's been a 12 hour since the last one. Yes, it is.
Speaker 1:I've been up to 2, 3 o'clock so it's not working, Not enough.
Speaker 2:But the sound is good. Seven days Exactly.
Speaker 1:No, do you want to?
Speaker 2:be, I'll fix your microphone. I'll fix it right up here.
Speaker 1:Up to my mouth. Tine, you sit too. Sit down, it's just me with the steering wheel.
Speaker 2:We've seen the king here. The king is our microphone. We were actually convinced that we'd try to walk in the flow.
Speaker 1:We'll see how it works. It worked before. I could feel that we were going to the beach last year. There was a lot happening to me last year. It's a high gear. I could feel that I had a little headache. I was excited about my neck. I knew that I was going to be the sickest headache. It went down in the shoulder blades, up in the neck and down in the eyes. I went out into your outer bed Keep it cool or out of your pants In the cold water. I think some of you are thinking that you're insane. You have that bow. Yes, I have. I just got the bow. Such a shock in the first stage.
Speaker 2:I've had the first stage of luck with it.
Speaker 1:I've had it in the first stage. What's it called, david Ove, where he tells you that you're in the cold water, pull yourself through the nose and then breathe in. You breathe in a sigh while you're telling me that it was 8. I don't think you need to breathe in the cold water. It's a bit weird. It's weird in the water, but here I focused on telling you and then I just stood in the cold water and the head and all the tension in the neck, it was completely gone. You can see how much you can move with your mindset. And you said that you have to take the pills. No, because I know I'm doing it at work, where there's no cold water.
Speaker 2:I'm going to get.
Speaker 1:Janssen, can I use your water? Yes, I just need your water. No, I take the pills when I don't have the opportunity to get into the cold water and it was gone. I think it's crazy what it does.
Speaker 2:I think it's just that it's gone. I also have to say that it's just that you have to move your mindset from one thing to another. There's a 4. It's going to be a good cut. You know how much you do with your mindset Because it's also what you do when you take the cold water bath. You also move your mindset. You don't move your focus. I also move my focus. I move my mindset. I move my focus from the cold water.
Speaker 2:You just stand there and think, oh, it's cold, yes, and when you're in a bad mood, you're also completely tired, and tired you could just throw everything in the water. You also move your focus and I really think it's important to think about it when you're with the brain we have and those of you who are with us, that it's not just the people who do it, that we're all working on it and getting another way to be in the world, and that's a great example today.
Speaker 1:Yes and I just wanted to say that there was someone who had told me but I don't know, 5 years ago, 10 years ago, if you were to go into a cold water bath, I would say I would like to go in, give me some pills, because then I know it's going to work.
Speaker 2:I think we're going that way because when you have your brain, you could be well up here. It's a summer mode, so we're going that way. Yes.
Speaker 1:So I want to eat these pills and it's not to say I never eat them, but I try to find something else, because can it actually help me do it? I don't know if you can be cold alternative, but yes, I'll go in, but it was the most painful.
Speaker 2:The most painful, yes, we'll go on like this with a little bit of the Gratis Life Hack.
Speaker 1:And then you can also think I don't have it right here in the back. No, but do you want to be cold? Cold in the cold water bath? Can you do it? Yes, and I just need to order a little bit of that to the people, because I'm all six of them, and you sit down. You sit down right down there and then I try to do these exercises. No, you're not sure you're going to be cold?
Speaker 1:No, it's not that, but just like this, where I can actually do something that I love in the front row, that I want to bath. And the reason I want to do this bath is because I want to try to move Focus on when I want to bath, instead of thinking that I'm cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold. No, I'm not doing it in my feet and hands, it's just a little bit of thinking that I'm standing in the cold water. Then I would like to try to focus on okay, now it's right, here you are, and then not use those hands and feet when I'm bathing. Yes, because I know what I'm doing. It's because I'm focusing on keeping the weight in my feet, and then it won't be that easy, so I'll quickly get up in the water. Yes, hmm, exciting, mega exciting. So that's what we'll do right away for an update on here in the winter. How is it going Exactly?
Speaker 2:Then they will also come in shoes. Just to lay down right now, like mine, but I'm not happy with my feet.
Speaker 1:They are good hands. You have to start to wait for the bath Now. The season is starting soon.
Speaker 2:I also think the water is about 0 degrees, 1 degrees. It's cold, cold, yes, it is cold. And then I think up in the swimming pool. When I do it, there is ice on the ice, on the ice, on the flies out there. That's why you hang tight with your feet in the flies. There are so strange to have them on.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's good with these feet, but it's actually the most because I go out of the sauna, so in the water and in the sauna, in the water and in the sauna. Then it becomes a little bit of a burden with the feet there. Yes, it becomes a burden, but I think everyone could just go there and learn to train there with Mindset, yes, mindset, move focus.
Speaker 2:Yes, today we are thinking about talking about this with the HD and the relationships, because it's actually something we get a question about what we do to preserve our relationships. Or also in relation to telling that you have received the diagnosis how I mean, how do you tell it? But also, what is the reaction on the people you tell it to in your summer trip? And then I also think it's that how do you still have contact with people from your youth life and that part of the relationships also with families, right, are we thinking about?
Speaker 1:that, yes, and then what is it called? I have to say that was also before I got the diagnosis, but that with everyone, also with the diagnosis, and have found out, or could feel myself so much that I have found out what I have used for. Right now, what is it for me to grow up? And then it is not to say that some relationships it can just be really difficult and it can be difficult to beat up with people. Can you say that? Yes, you can that with the vinyls? I have a vinyl. I have had a vinyl where we actually grew up together.
Speaker 1:We were 15 when we met each other. So that was the wild youth. We lived together and there was one time and it was nice, from Tuesday to Sunday with parties. And then you get older. I think all the time we both felt that our relationship was actually not good for each other, but it was in a way, safe because we were all together. And then you got a point to have a fight with this girl. But it can't be right.
Speaker 1:I think we both felt that we were together, but it's not like we're actually meant to be together, but because we were all together, it's just a pressure. And then you get a point to have a fight with this girl, but it can't be right, because you don't really feel like you can be together and you also feel that there is something wrong with you. Yes, I could feel that I was really wrong about it and I thought that it was me who was wrong about it. You thought it was you who should change. Yes, it was actually, but it was only once that I felt that it was me who was wrong, and then it was clear that I turned it into me who was wrong and I said now you're the one who's wrong. Are you asking another question now? But it's because you find out that you need to know what it is that makes you do it, that you're good and that you're grown up and that you don't contribute to something good.
Speaker 2:Yes, but maybe also because you start to be a new person yourself. What makes me happy? But what makes me come out of these situations where my head is shaking and shaking? What is this crazy person who's walking into me? Because I can relate to that.
Speaker 2:I've also had acquaintances who in some way have not been healthy for me and where I have changed in a way that this should not be a part of this room. I had that time and I think that's because you start to reflect on what I have used for my life. What is it for a life I would like to live and how will I grow up as best as possible? I think it's very important to have some small conversations with yourself to develop yourself, and it's clear that if that person you're standing next to, who is one of the maybe the one who is in front of you, or it could also be a family member if now it's a person who doesn't do something good for you and you can feel that it's just a person who loses all my energy and where I have to sit and explain everything I do or I have to argue, where you can't actually be yourself, because when you're yourself, you can just look at other things. What the fuck.
Speaker 1:So I think it's very important to have the idea that you can try to tell yourself okay, who is doing something good for me, who can actually also rest in me. You can do that in a way, for example, because at the same time I think you're a piece of shit in the and you're my sister, you can run and hop and stop.
Speaker 2:You also have to rest in me. You have to have a chance to say something out of the blue, because I've also had to say no to someone who has asked me to be something I wasn't. Or if you said something to them, they were very angry and you have to completely forget that. But you save a lot of what I think and I come with my answer, but that's what I can't tell you, so I have to save after my answer.
Speaker 1:And that's what I think about that you grow up or develop in different ways. Five years, yes. So maybe some of them can't feel the same way Because they're not where you're meant to be. Can you say that? Yes, you can, and that's fair enough.
Speaker 2:Yes, and that's what I think it's about us two.
Speaker 1:You're eight years older than me, so you're eight years. You have to be thirty. You have to be around the sword around my head. I have eight years more experience than you have. Yes, that's what.
Speaker 2:I think we're talking about that too. So, also in relation to the things that I have with my children and your children, there are so many things where I have experience with them, just because the life I have lived which I can continue with, even though my children are almost deaf. There are things that I can continue with in a way that I can be in the world and even though we're the two of us, we're the most different. You can stand up, so we're also the most unique in some areas. Yes, that's right, and I also think it's important to be able to develop yourself. There are also things where you have developed yourself really, really much in a direction where I have filled you. I don't know exactly how it feels to say that. I think I have always been a big sister, but our roles have actually changed a little after you have had your diagnosis. You have started to reflect more on some things, and then you have also started to ask questions with me sometimes.
Speaker 1:I think that's really cool. We have actually just had a talk at home about the children. How much do you share? How much do I share? You share almost everything with children. How do I share? Almost nothing.
Speaker 2:No, you mean in the podcast. How much do you share?
Speaker 1:Both in the podcast and in the profile, where we are very different. But sometimes you have to say something because you can't really say anything.
Speaker 2:No, and that's what you've also been right in yes and I also got to think about, and I think that's what we actually say in the podcast. I think we say something to people and we talk about something high. I hope we don't get too much into it. No, that's not bad, we can go this way. We go into the forest. That's a good idea. I also think we also have some limits. We are always just talking about these relationships.
Speaker 2:There are some who can say this high and if we can just go one way to think more about the relationships they have on both sides, then we have already reached a big step. We can only go into the forest here. Then we have already reached a big step on the way. And that's again also to say if we just want to be in the H-term, the H-term, the medicine can't do the whole thing. You also need to go to the hospital yourself, and how? What kind of life do you want to have and what kind of relationships do you have?
Speaker 2:And I also think that's why Also looking into one's family what kind of family do I have? What kind of? If you have someone in your family who just draws a completely constant water-based? I'm just saying that people have family members where they want to be and they don't know what they're going to do. It can be a problem for everyone to have access to an education where the parents can't see the problem or there has been a misuse, or they ask for a child's education. Why do you have to have a diagnosis? Why do you need it? So that you can be clear about the family? Why are you a little confused? You don't have to answer why you need it and you have to get an answer to why your brain is like that.
Speaker 1:But I think that's also. What would you like to say? No, I just think. I think that's also about the fact that you're so different, and there are some who reflect a lot on why I am the one who is today. Why am I living the life I am doing, or why we try to be more important. Why am I doing this? Is there something I can do, for example, to get dressed on yourself or on this diagnosis, or to get dressed like this? But can you just stop now? Why should you say that?
Speaker 2:there was no one who wanted to say that if you had a hobby, you had a little train set that you could drive down in the cold and you sat there every night. Why should you sit there and paint the little train, for example?
Speaker 1:my profile was a disappeared profile. There were no one who said or thought why do you also have to do that? No, it's a mega side of you. You say that you are very good at it and now it's not because people say that, but you can just feel why should you sit and say that on a profile? Or why should you sit and say that on the podcast? So a little bit of a taboo, because now it's something you have to do but it was a psychological challenge it's a psychological challenge.
Speaker 2:I really don't think it's worth going up for right now. We have. It's been a while since there are challenges in our family and I think that's why we have taken a lot into our family and we have taken it all that. What we have been growing up in in me and Peter, and that has been something with how generations are, that's just it. You haven't talked about psychosythics. Psychosythics has been something like that. It's not the same as if you had a broken leg. That's what you're talking about, and I think more and more that I'm such a guy that Peter I haven't talked much about it, he's just like that. He's not actually cliched, he's just like that. I've just been like there's been a bit of a rush in it, but why aren't we talking about that? You have some challenges, but that it's primarily about that. You have difficulty learning how to write. Why aren't we supposed to be lying about it? Why aren't we just saying it?
Speaker 1:it's much easier to be in the world if you can go in there when I got cancer in 2015, when I got mylas, there was a social media. It was there, but it wasn't really. There was Facebook and Instagram, but you feel more familiar with it so you haven't talked about it. When you were afraid, I can remember saying it to someone. It was only the family who knew and I can remember how the bubbles or the unpleasant feeling in the stomach just grew from every day. But now you have to talk about it and then it's down in the stomach. The adults don't do it in the same way, but people have a lot of difficulties because it's just another generation it's another time.
Speaker 2:I really hope that you are sitting around with me, you reflect on it and you need to say things about social media. It can be that you see it to your friends. I have some challenges and we are actually in a hurry because we are so afraid to go off the roll and we are so afraid to be in a hurry and not fit into the boxes and then it's like we are not talking about it. But it's just a relief to be able to sit and laugh and say that I can be with my man. I hope I can win the cup because I'm a native, I know she knows me. But I think it's important to laugh and to say if there was a little bit of a fuss and that's what I've heard, because I'm glad to hear that, because the girls are going up and up and running it's so liberating that I could hear something and if she heard something, she knows what's going on.
Speaker 1:It's just thousands of times better when you go around on the glass and try to walk around and I have to say I can see it sometimes, but I want to look at my nose and the name comes from. You know it can't always be the kids who do it. When it's the day you want to tell, then the day goes home and then you have to do what the kids do when they're home and it's done and then I go out and you know you're in the bedroom and you're outside inside the room and then.
Speaker 1:I just cry until the day you've not closed the window. God, I forgot that. Try to be as calm as possible and think it's a lot. It's a lot. He's probably just having fun, and then I'm just so sad and then it's all about him. It's just him and I'm just all about him. And I just stood there and I was really sad. It was just a little bit of a joke and the day was a little. It's just a little bit of a joke, but now I can't see the nose in my eyes it's just a little bit of a joke.
Speaker 2:I'm sure they hear it they hear that we go to the right. We go to the right, but that's just. You can do it one by one. I think we go to the lake. That's one by one. That's what happens when someone finds out that they've had a diagnosis and they're scared of the diagnosis. Now the canabines can hear it. They should be in there. Why do they see it so high? Now everyone knows in the school that they have the challenges and they think that I'm in the way of the diagnosis and that you do. That's the reality. It makes you talk high, but because I have 100% right. All of them but for me.
Speaker 1:I can almost never say the word.
Speaker 2:It can be a joke for me sometimes and we've said we'll do a video about that, but it's just a little bit of a joke. And then if someone asks what's with me? What's with me, I don't need a yo. Let it be. We're talking about it, but it's just how it is. People have it, it's like they have it, but it's not true. It's the worst. It's so insane, it's not? I don't know if we should agree, because look up at the clouds there, it is my sunbathe, or.
Speaker 1:Or the fuck is going on. I think if you know where to go, you can go. You can't live from here, then you'll just be there, or what? I'll put my card on. You can be the one who can take it away. Yes, that can be.
Speaker 2:No, but again what I have with relationships in my life, I think it's really important to deal with who is there and who is not. And once I was sick with stress. The time Tristan was completely small and then we were in such a mess. I think I've never talked about it, karas. Now I'll do it again. We were in such a mess where we were supposed to be four days in a summer house where we didn't have to drive somewhere. Peter was supposed to stay in this summer house. He was part of this stress management team.
Speaker 2:And then the first day came, a party was held. Then we were supposed to tell how we saw our lives. Then the next day there was a masseur, and the third day there was a sexist. It was mega-dance. It was like she was telling us to buy a leather and then in the evening, when the kids were sleeping or not at home, we were supposed to sit and form a piece of art in leather. That's what we haven't done. I'm not going to sit and form his pieces in leather. That's what we haven't done.
Speaker 2:But then I talked about it. Then he didn't say, and then I remember the question, but he couldn't say, and he said and then he looked at the girl and said hello, my stash boy. No, no, no, no. It was so strange. It's not my stress, it's totally different. It's not my stress, it's totally different.
Speaker 2:And then the last day we had a it wasn't a party because it was the first day, it was the second day of the party and then we were supposed to tell him how we saw our friends, how were they for some of the people we had in our lives, and what did they do for us. And then we were supposed to share our all of our friends up. It sounds a bit wild. And then, if you're friends, you sit and listen. Which friend am I? Which friend am I? But it was then.
Speaker 2:Who could you find out and travel on the holidays? Who could you find out and eat dinner together and have such a nice couple of dinners? Or and who would you like to just drink a glass of a glass of beer with over the fence? And who couldn't imagine anything? And then you have to be a little private and find out what kind of people give me energy, because people you drink beer with over the fence and maybe not the ones who give you the most energy, but it's nice that you just have that one beer and that's it. And I really think that's a really important exercise. And I just have to say now there was no one of our friends I would travel on the holidays with, and that's not because I don't want to travel on, that's not because I can't live with them. I can just feel that I have to give a huge part of myself If I have to travel with friends on the holidays. I've never tried to travel on the holidays with your family.
Speaker 1:No. And it's a little fun when you think about it. Now you can start. Yes, I'm happy about that. That's when we talk about you being, you are, you are. You are a big hope and I am more quiet. I can go on the holidays with friends. I think you have a bigger head than people are thinking about.
Speaker 2:Yes, but that can happen. I think you have. I don't think I'm thinking about it. Yes, I think so. You are actually a social person and I can really I can be completely confused when you tell me what to do.
Speaker 1:Yes and it Well, I can do that. But that's where I've found out. You can just drink there Once or twice a day. I'll go and see if there's anything I can do.
Speaker 1:I'll go and see if there's anything I can do and I can feel that it's very much for me and I can also feel that it's also helped to say that I have this. I have these challenges. People don't just sit there and talk to me but I just get back to the summer house while they do that. No, do what, and I think that's weird.
Speaker 2:But that's what we need to go on with this relationship that you actually, when you say it's high, it can make a difference. And the eyes that look at you and you're thinking, well now, they're just thinking about it. They just think it's strange because they've got this diagnosis. It's something you think about in your head. If you have a relationship that has told you You're fucking weird. You have a relationship, it's fucking weird that you're supposed to be alone now. You couldn't. Just it's a relationship that has to be combined. But if it's just something you think about in your head that the relationship is thinking, so you're just suddenly thinking about why the fuck should she think about it? No one would think about it.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, but there should be someone who thinks about it. Take it with you, yes, yes, but then they have to say it high.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes, really. So it's not because they can think about it well, but then they have to say it. That's their problem.
Speaker 1:But I really think that there are some relationships. It's not always that you need to get along with them, no, but that's more about being upset about it. What is it really about? They can both give me energy, but it can actually. It's more about giving me energy so we can see each other well, but I need to do it in a limited time because I can't be in it for a long time.
Speaker 2:No, but that's also why you have to look down at the exercise. Maybe you're just upset over the technique and maybe you're used to being upset. But it's not about that, because it's not what the people do. We've made such an exercise in part therapy here earlier this week. We were supposed to talk about it, but we thought it was hard to ask for help, and we have two different thoughts about why we have to ask for help. For my knowledge, it's hard for me to be afraid to be exposed to the people I ask. I get sad if I'm exposed, and I've already thought about it. If we ask your mother, she'll say no. If she says no, I can't be upset because I've already had a chance to go to a place alone and I'll say, oh, that's annoying. So I've already covered everything in my head. Why does Peter know to come?
Speaker 1:And if she says yes, she probably means that you're not just in front of her.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, then I can drive her up there. It's so terrible, and then I just do it myself and then my bear flies over. If Peter doesn't ask for help, it's because he thinks it's a low-level question. He thinks it's 30, he thinks he needs help. It's not that much. If we have to go on a weekend he's a bit happy. It's because we might have to pay the children down, because now that there's a little too much love at home then we have to pay the children up. It helps a lot. It can be a low-level question. Can you help me take my mother and I think that's the most important thing to look into and talk about, because I also get a feeling that, oh sorry, I'm getting a feeling that, oh, that's why you don't have to. I'm not really thinking that it's not like it's a low-level question.
Speaker 1:Do you think it can be something to do with you know, man, woman? Yes, yes, 100%. So it's with men. I can handle myself.
Speaker 2:Yes, I can't help you, but I think it's important to understand right. Yes, yes, yes, because I think that most of the children, because of the representation and then also depending on what you get from it, then there are also things that make you react in different ways. But it's just that when we women go over like that, it could be that it's just different points of view.
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm going to look at what I've talked about here. A half hour, A half hour. You know that. That's because I look at it at the bell, the bell tree that you said now it's been 12 hours. No, yes, but that's so nice.
Speaker 2:Yes, but it is. It's also. It's all about relationships and family and couple relationships and it's just a little bit out of one race, because it's a little bit of that. I could imagine those people who write to us and also in relation to themselves, those who have a really hard time with these relationships and lose relationships or, you know, forget about a relationship. It could also be that there are people I have had a lot.
Speaker 2:I have a lot of acquaintances. I really have a lot of acquaintances and I think I have a lot. I hope I don't get to meet the people who are here, but I also think I have a lot that feels like we are really good friends, where, for me, I get a little fluffy, I have a really hard time being protected protected in a relationship because I can't find out here. I can't find out I'm just looking for should we just have a cup of coffee or should we just meet, or am I so bad at this? And it's also it's not so easy to talk about this here and sometimes people can think well, you are the one who just controls everything when you make all these podcasts and stuff. I have to have challenges with it.
Speaker 1:I can't even see that and that's also what I can feel I have used in my relationships that they know, just because I don't like to call in a month, I have a friend. I see her maybe four times a year if I can do it three times a year, but we know there is no one who is deaf, there is no one who, if you haven't done anything wrong, it's just like that. I can feel that it's so liberating. Yes, I have just had some friends and acquaintances where you have to think about someone else. Can you stand in someone else's? Yes, you have to be deaf and you have to be responsible. Then you have to use thought power and it's just so liberating.
Speaker 2:And it's really not for being deaf. I think that's what has made it possible to. I was left with a little thought that when you were going home from the city and you didn't just tell people that you were leaving, you were leaving because you were going to be responsible. Why are you leaving now? Can't you just go and get some water? You can't just come along. It's through a relationship where you have to be responsible. Why are you leaving? Because when I'm leaving, I'm not going to be in the city for three hours more and dance around when I can't get my bearer-flying over.
Speaker 2:I'm thinking about it the same way. It's not because I'm not going to be with you, I just can't do it. I just don't have the need. I have the need. So it seems a little ego, but I'm thinking. I was just in Copenhagen with some friends. Since then, we see each other again and again in the morning and we have the need for that. In the old days I was the one who was going to take us to the housewife's every Wednesday and then we saw each other there, being a son there, and then we met and we thought that such a fast thing just can't be anymore.
Speaker 1:No, and that's it, and respect in the relationship is part of it. That's the way it is, but it's also there. It's great because the one relationship has a different expectation of how it should be, and that's fine enough. But then you also have to like to be different, because then it's the right relationship you have to be in.
Speaker 1:No, it's just a little bit of a hassle, yes, and it's what's getting difficult that you have to fight in a different way, and that's not something you can do. You can't like the other person, but you just have different. You have different places of life.
Speaker 2:Yes, the one who is fighting with the relationship, the one who has worked a lot with himself, then you don't fight with that relationship, and that can be countered by the wrong way, because you say it and then it is there that can come down and talk. And and the older you get, the more difficult it is and the more comfortable it is. Yes, because you know yourself much more In the old days. You just smoothed it a little bit no, yes, yes, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:And then you maybe stood up a little more for yourself Without knowing it, I was at least you know, in this youth you don't know anything about the younger people. Yes, so it's maybe a little bit easier, but it's not like the older people. No.
Speaker 2:No, really, I misunderstood that when there came some conflicts it was like that. It could actually be like that that they were forced to take home from the city before. But it could be just as much. It could be just as guilty as I had been before. I simply didn't see in the day why we should be so uncomfortable about this and it could be just as guilty. But it's also the people. I don't see it right. I don't see it from the way I went to the school or something I have. Only my boyfriend was still with me, he has from the school of folk, or I don't have any old acquaintances, everything is new and without the sound of traffic, I don't miss it. I mean, I can continue. I can think about the old things you had together, that it was a life you had, but we were also different. And now I understand why I was who I was and why I might have had difficulties at times.
Speaker 2:So I think that if you want to be new, you can do it. Yes, then you don't get better.
Speaker 1:I had a lot of things I really did. I had a lot of things as a child, but I was mostly the same age. Yes, it was also Because that's what I had with my children and I was always uncomfortable with them and I couldn't really figure out how to deal with them. But I think it's also the time you hear from the children.
Speaker 2:It was just so quiet. Yes, there was not all that. It was just like having a child. It was just like having a child with a woman.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:What does?
Speaker 1:that mean I don't know. I'll write her up here. What do you see there?
Speaker 2:No, it means that I have to do it. Yes, it's the use of the evidence.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's the use of the evidence.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1:So I've always been like a drinker, but I can really recognize that.
Speaker 2:I've had a lot of friends, but I think it was nice to be with the drinks. Yes, I was just my best friend and just my little brother. Yes, it was just me who was my best friend. It was nice. I think it was difficult.
Speaker 2:Yes, and it's funny that when we are together, I actually love to be together with friends and it's not necessarily misunderstood, but it's not necessarily a misunderstanding. Yes, I mean, I love to be together with friends and it's not necessarily misunderstood. But I can just feel that the things the drinks talk about are not feeling anything. It's not like, and I myself, when I'm speaking, I feel things. So it's not like that, but it's getting more and more up-to-date at a different level. Sometimes it can be like more and more, more and more. Where I sometimes call a joke and we've talked about it before it's just there.
Speaker 2:I serve the night food, where people are only coming to the front row. I'm just sitting there, having just put the clothes on the desk, and people think it can't come now. But you didn't say that you're going to have to go to the kitchen here. What the hell is the code for it? I don't have to go to the kitchen, I can just sit on a tablecloth on the tablecloth, why do we sit around the corner in that row of cocktails? It's I don't understand it. I can't understand it, and I think that's also the reason why we in our youth were just down on the drinks. And when you know that you can get 30% off the order when you have an HD, because it's not against it, so that's why you're down on the drinks level, maybe I don't know and now you're just being mega against it because you work so much with yourself.
Speaker 1:Full-time in the sense or something. Yes, I was a little bit worried the other day that I was going out on tours and I was thinking I'm doing great, I don't have anything to say Outside of Carlo, outside of Carlo, he's, he's, he's sitting at my point and my soulmate is a little bit on the test, but, but it's, I actually have the friendship with us. I'm actually happy for it. I know that I don't have a lot of friends and I'm not the kind of person that sees all kinds of people and then we have to go out for coffee and we have to go to the café and we have to meet all these girls together because it's just great. I actually know that I have two, three, four friends that I see when they just fit.
Speaker 2:And when, when it's like that started, I mean, do you understand my question? I mean when I mean, can you feel that after you've had the diagnosis that you're a little bit down in all of this, then it's no longer a problem? Yeah, because her girlfriend.
Speaker 1:I see a couple of times a year.
Speaker 1:It's a folk school girlfriend and she she's in such a big girlfriend group so and they've been together since we were also friends at that time and then I've had a good time sitting and thinking, no, but it's also me and something in the way, since I'm not with the girlfriend group it's also just because you were so wild at that time and you got all those drinking friends and you thought it was very cool to make all the possible other than all the girls who made it.
Speaker 1:I mean, I really doubted myself very much in my head that I couldn't find out who they were, the girlfriend groups, and what kind of people they were and what kind of people they were. But now I'm just not used to being in that big girlfriend group. I mean, it's fine they do it, but I don't have the need to go with the girlfriend on vacation. I really don't have that. I think it's rare that I can just go down the road and drink a cup of coffee with my girlfriend and stay down the road. In half an hour I can go back, yeah, and my nose is a bit stale.
Speaker 1:I don't have the need for more than that. And then I have a girlfriend I can actually sleep in the middle of. And it's also very strange that you have some friends who just say what should we do? I'm tired, I don't need more than that, I don't need to go to London, I don't need to go to Paris. It's super cool. You also live in.
Speaker 2:Copenhagen. It's stressful to hear about it. I mean, it's the only girlfriend I do and she lives in the North of the country and we just had to meet in the middle of the country and now this was up to me and now it's up to her. So that's why I'm completely quiet. I'm not going to go on a trip to London, and I told her. Now. She said next time, what should we do in the other country? Should we go to London? Seriously, I'm not going out of the airport and I'm going from the car and you're going from the cab.
Speaker 2:I also think that you have these friends who you slept with and who live on the road. What was it like to say that it was important? Yes, I know what it was. It was actually because we have been part of the social media for the last two or three years. I think that social media is now being used to take care of the social media. I am also a member of the social media group Instagram, tiktok, snapchat, pesmajort when I look at my children, but I really mean Instagram now that I use it, I mean it makes a difference. It is a community we have created in there. People are telling us about it. We have a closed room where we can talk about how the real world can be or how magical something can be and how small things in the world can make a big difference to us, without someone who is judging us, and the one where people are saying I can recognize it. Well, you don't have to play a role, because I can also see.
Speaker 2:When I look back on my previous years, there are also some among them I have seen. This time I can see that I can smell the smell of the H&M on the stand. There are 100% of those who have it, so they have certainly had it in the same way, but they have also played the role we all love to play. It is a bit like the form for Big Brother. We have played in all of them and I really think that I am in and I get these things out because I go to talk to you about it and I know that some people listen to it and reflect on what I am saying, what comes out of it, and I listen to my stories again and again. If I think that this has actually been a story that has been around me, it has been around me from my summer life, for example, when I sit up and tell you about how my summer life has been. I think I have seen this story 10 times and it is 20 minutes each time and people want to think, amtina, because you just want to look at yourself?
Speaker 2:No, but it is actually because I try to listen to some of the words I say and I try to take it into account and try to be the only one against myself, because it is really hard to stand in. But what do I also come with? With many good insights, if I myself have to say it, and it is not necessarily to be self-confident, but I think it is so important. And many times we say the same thing we say to the people we make videos about, in private, for example, the more we understand. Even though we have a good life, even though things are 30, there are really many things we have to take care of.
Speaker 2:And I think about it in relation to our sisters relationship. How many of you are saying to us why should you be happy that you have a sister? I can't be your sister, and when you write back, you must like to be your sister, because this podcast is a podcast. If there are drinks or beer that you listen to. I am one of the sisters when we sit here and listen to music and I love when people write to us. I really think that is a way we have come together with everything we have been through, that we have this community and this has really done a lot.
Speaker 1:I have been thinking about what you said, but then I look back on my stories. In relation to the one I went and changed for the exhibition. I really had a lot of fun. I thought it was hard to be a mother and where I flew out of this trip Because I could have been at home. There were my stories very negative, but they were very about how hard I actually had it and I actually got a message at a point of time from one of the writers. I think your story is a lot about how much you really have. Once it was about weight loss and food, but now it's only about how bad you are. So I smile no, no, no, Okay, it's a bit of a shame to get back to it.
Speaker 2:What did you do when you met this person?
Speaker 1:Were you sad or what? I think I was angry, but that's because I was angry at that person. I am a bad mother.
Speaker 2:Yes, I was angry.
Speaker 1:But now I can't really tell what's going on in the world Because I have it all right. But what people want to see on social media is that it's nice to see when she's sitting and talking.
Speaker 1:I would like to see what she's talking about. But it's also good that it's yourself. She's just taking it back and seeing what she's talking about. And that's what I think is hard about social media, because I was actually on TikTok at the time and you get really angry at the time, but I can see people who are not really into TikTok. You can't get that. I was just thinking that you can't get the community on TikTok but you can on Instagram and because there is a lot of focus on how you talk to each other on social media, I think it's good that you can notice that on Instagram. But how do you think most young people on TikTok and not on Instagram that they are talking about what they are doing.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, so I've just deleted TikTok again.
Speaker 1:And then it's good to say that TikTok is the fastest growing media. It's the latest word that's there, but I don't think it's right to be no, that's the point I've had.
Speaker 1:You can see the video where you're sitting and yelling a little and saying it's funny, but I think Instagram is moving in a direction of this community or something else, and I think that's not good, absolutely not, and I think it's weird that there is a place where you can both say some things, but you also feel the spotlight in others, and then it doesn't have to be that it's hard.
Speaker 2:No, and I also think that I really try to say that this podcast, just because it's called the Hard Disciples, not because it has to be done every single time it's just as much a reflection on life, and that's what we're doing now.
Speaker 2:I'm happy that we've done it in this way, and I also feel that people ask me do you know today if it's not a 30-day break? They're all thinking no, I'm completely clear with why we're doing it, how we're doing it, and that we have that we too have different input angles to it, and that we just took this talk about how that there's more to share about our children. Why do we share something about our children? And I really think that we share it not to get attention. I share it not to get attention, and I'm not dancing on social media only because I think it's fun. I think it's fun too, but I also do it because I hope people get a white mass that they can use for something and we get that I'm just talking about now. You've just been a big fan of a woman who was a victim now, and her husband was also a victim and she also wanted to be a victim. People get angry at themselves and understand why I've had so much trouble with my life. That's what makes us know about this.
Speaker 1:And this woman who was the first time she was out in the summer house for three years because she heard this podcast. It's what really makes her cry. And if someone comes up to you and thinks, what the hell are you doing?
Speaker 2:Then they're talking to each other. I'm talking to one of the two sisters. She's standing there, she's blushing. I can't see anything. What does she think she's showing? She's biting her.
Speaker 1:It looks like she doesn't understand anything, yeah, but it's raining. It's raining, it's coming out of the microphone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're right. I'm just thanking her for taking her to the summer house and she did it alone and that this can be used for something. It's not just for attention. It's vital to move something. And if we want to move something, we have to open the mouth, we have to say something, we have to inspire each other, we have to be new-skinned, and not just for a diagnosis because you think how cool can she be?
Speaker 2:Go into being new-skinned. What are you? How would you like to be? What kind of relationships do you want to have? How is your relationship with your parents? How is your relationship with your sisters? How would you like to have it? Can you change anything? Because you can't change them, but you can change yourself. I think that's really important and maybe also be new-skinned in some alternative solutions, where I'm going to be a little bit of a skunk in terms of human design. It's not human design, it's just understanding yourself. Should we end the episode on those words? I think we should and maybe see if we can get into being new-skinned. Thank you for your tour. Hi, hi, hi, hi.