Get ready to buckle up for a wild ride as we team up with the Domesticated Savages podcast, adding a dash of their signature humor to our true crime analysis. You'll be left both chuckling and pondering the full spectrum of human behavior, as we, Megan and Lindsay, navigate through the lighter and darker sides of our nature. From the psychology behind criminal minds to the evolution of modern slang, our special guests—hilarious law enforcement officers—bring authentic insights and first-hand experiences that illuminate our discussions with a fresh perspective.
We don't shy away from the tough topics, either. Our candid conversations unravel the complexities of domestic violence, exploring its subtle warning signs and the crucial support systems for those affected. The stark realities of life in law enforcement are laid bare through intense real-life stories, including shootouts and acts of bravery, shared by our guest officers. And if you think you've heard everything, wait until we share our thoughts on historical torture practices—where dark humor meets raw honesty.
By the end of our episode, you'll have walked a mile in another's shoes, laughed at the absurdity of a sex toy altercation involving a sheriff's deputy, and gained a new appreciation for the role of community and expression in police work—yes, we do talk about that NYPD dance team. This is an episode that promises to engage, enlighten, and entertain in equal measure. So, grab your headphones and join us for this unforgettable journey through the sinners and saints of everyday life.
Thanks for all the support!! Please follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Tik Tok, or email us, and remember we now have a Patreon!!
patreon.com/sinnersamongsaintspodcast
sinnersamongsaintspodcast@gmail.com
Tik Tok @sinnersamongsaints
Get ready to buckle up for a wild ride as we team up with the Domesticated Savages podcast, adding a dash of their signature humor to our true crime analysis. You'll be left both chuckling and pondering the full spectrum of human behavior, as we, Megan and Lindsay, navigate through the lighter and darker sides of our nature. From the psychology behind criminal minds to the evolution of modern slang, our special guests—hilarious law enforcement officers—bring authentic insights and first-hand experiences that illuminate our discussions with a fresh perspective.
We don't shy away from the tough topics, either. Our candid conversations unravel the complexities of domestic violence, exploring its subtle warning signs and the crucial support systems for those affected. The stark realities of life in law enforcement are laid bare through intense real-life stories, including shootouts and acts of bravery, shared by our guest officers. And if you think you've heard everything, wait until we share our thoughts on historical torture practices—where dark humor meets raw honesty.
By the end of our episode, you'll have walked a mile in another's shoes, laughed at the absurdity of a sex toy altercation involving a sheriff's deputy, and gained a new appreciation for the role of community and expression in police work—yes, we do talk about that NYPD dance team. This is an episode that promises to engage, enlighten, and entertain in equal measure. So, grab your headphones and join us for this unforgettable journey through the sinners and saints of everyday life.
Thanks for all the support!! Please follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Tik Tok, or email us, and remember we now have a Patreon!!
patreon.com/sinnersamongsaintspodcast
sinnersamongsaintspodcast@gmail.com
Tik Tok @sinnersamongsaints
Hey guys, I'm Megan and I'm Lindsay, and this is Sinners Among Saints.
Speaker 3:Alright. So we wanted to jump on really fast and let you know that before you listen to this episode so that you're not shocked. This is an episode that we did as a collaboration with another fantastic podcast called Domesticated Savages. Yes, we are a group of police officers who flew us to them and we were able to do a fun collaboration. So it actually starts out as their intro, yes, and they talk for a little bit and then they introduce us and so we do talk about in their podcast. They talk about police stories and cases and things that have been kind of going on, and then they do like national news, and so they do a little bit of that first and then we get into our story. I think it's about an hour.
Speaker 1:About an hour into the episode, but I do present a case, so that part is normal and you'll get like a case from us and their feedback and they do have some really good insight as police officers and what they've dealt with in regards to similarities to the case. But their podcast is a lot more lighthearted and they joke around a lot and their stories that they talk about they tell them but there's always loveity to it, so it's a little bit different, but it was a lot of fun.
Speaker 3:It was a lot of fun and we hope that you guys enjoy it. We hope you love it. We just wanted to let you know what was happening so you didn't try on the episode and be like whoa, whoa, whoa whoa, Wait a minute.
Speaker 1:this is not my girls, Because it takes a minute before we get introduced. So we are there.
Speaker 3:We are there so just keep listening and then let us know if you guys like it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, hey, enjoy, love you guys.
Speaker 4:I'll sleep on the couch downstairs Hell yeah, you'll sleep on the casting couch.
Speaker 5:He's got the casting couch. My face will stick to it.
Speaker 1:What kind of casting are we doing on this couch?
Speaker 5:Oh well, dude, if I have to explain it to you, then you're going to really enjoy it. All right, everybody, welcome out to the Domesticated Savages podcast. Glad you guys could tune in and experience this podcast with us. We've got a great podcast for you guys. A new thing we're doing on the podcast episode today. It's going to be so much fun. You know what's happening. My titties are tingling. That's what's happening.
Speaker 4:You're fully nipped out.
Speaker 5:I'm nipped out, you're fully nipped out.
Speaker 4:That's what we've talked about before I can see it, you can see it.
Speaker 5:Doing a new episode.
Speaker 2:I have my shirt off so you should be able to see it You're cutting glass over here All right.
Speaker 5:Well, introductions. You got Jake your host. How are you doing? I've got to my left, Joss, what's up?
Speaker 6:Glad to experience it.
Speaker 5:Hell yeah, the Game Master, the Game Maker, game Maker, game Master, the Free Range Savage, whatever you want to call her, I've got Jeremy. Hey, what's up? What's up, jeremy? We got Jeremy two weeks in a row now. Dude, this is weird. I know I've seen the Twilight Zone right here. Fucking worst hide and seek champ ever. He gave up right. No one could find me Time to come back in.
Speaker 5:We found you a few times, and I've got Fitz what's up? Fitz, what up, what up? How are you doing so good? All right, and this is the special thing we've got here on this episode for this week. We've got a couple of guests here that have their own podcast. I've got Megan.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's me.
Speaker 5:Fitz, you're our engineer. You should be telling me this shit, I got you and I've got Lindsay. Yes, and the fans are also hard for this episode, so we're ready to go because it's so damn cold. Oh, because it's cold, yes, is it? I think it feels good down here. No, it feels wonderful.
Speaker 6:It's cold. Our nips are hard as shit.
Speaker 4:Damn.
Speaker 1:We're used to the cold temperature down here.
Speaker 5:This is our only fans episode apparently. Hell yeah, Put it behind that paywall. Yeah, it's the worst only fans episode where it's audio only. Yes, I feel like you got to pay $4.37, but you don't get a C-shirt, you get a. Hear us.
Speaker 3:Really describe the nipples. That's right, we got to get into detail.
Speaker 5:Is that hair? Those ASMR fans? Are going to love it. They're going to love it dude, describe it to me some more. Dude. It's like a book. Though you read a book or you listen to a book, you can just picture things so much better than what they ever put on the silver screen. It's true.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, Christian Gray was much hotter in the book than when I don't know what that is.
Speaker 5:Is that the 50 shades? That's the shade, did you say?
Speaker 4:15, shades 50. They said 15. Who was the actor?
Speaker 1:Jamie Dornan, jamie Dornan.
Speaker 5:Who.
Speaker 1:And he's fine, but he just wasn't like Christian.
Speaker 5:Gray, it was supposed to be Jack Teller.
Speaker 1:He's a big dude, right, but Jack Teller wouldn't have been good either, because he's a small guy.
Speaker 5:I still wouldn't have thought that was fine.
Speaker 3:He's either dude off of a son's of anarchy.
Speaker 5:Jack Teller.
Speaker 3:Jack Teller.
Speaker 5:Oh, Charlie Hunnam.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:I was thinking of Miles.
Speaker 5:Charlie Hunnam.
Speaker 4:Yeah, no See, for me Christian Gray was like tall, like real big, muscly, like just big big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big big big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big big big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big big big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big.
Speaker 5:Yeah, warwick, I gave him my hand. Let's see here Alan Rickman.
Speaker 1:Alan Rickman Snape.
Speaker 4:He would have killed it. Professor Snape in 50 Shades, alan.
Speaker 5:Rickman, he would have been awesome. He's just a fucking asshole. I can see him having a dungeon, bro.
Speaker 4:No, it would have been badass, because he would have been. He was in the dungeon. He would have done his monotone voice. Please pull out my penis now. Give it pleasure.
Speaker 5:That would have been badass, just monotone. Oh, that would have been hot. I would have got to have seen that for sure.
Speaker 3:I mean, yeah, you'd have to see it, we should make a spoof porn with this, because I would watch it.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 5:Who's starring? There's our next TikTok. There's our next TikTok, there we go A spoof porn yeah. A valentine? Yeah, he does a voice so good.
Speaker 1:So you're not the voice, you're the voice actor.
Speaker 5:You're doing the voiceover, and then you could be the chick. You'll be the chick with a deep ass voice You're a nice feminine voice yes, you're going to be great.
Speaker 1:It'll be a lot of fun.
Speaker 5:Yeah, we'll probably get canceled, but it'll be a lot of fun. Do you identify how you want nowadays?
Speaker 1:Absolutely. You can't judge us.
Speaker 5:He's identifying as Alaricman. I'm identifying as some 20-year-old girl who doesn't know what the fuck she's doing Some nympho.
Speaker 1:You can't judge us for being open with our sexuality.
Speaker 5:Absolutely not, my apologies. You can get judged, still, you can, anyway. So you ladies, back on track.
Speaker 3:Back to our podcast.
Speaker 5:We take tangents. We love tangents. We love getting in the weeds, which we'll probably get in the weeds a little bit later. Thank you, spongebob. So Lindsay and Megan. Lindsay and Megan, we are glad to have you ladies out here, so you guys have a podcast.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 5:What's the name of your podcast?
Speaker 1:Sinners Among Saints.
Speaker 5:Sinners Among Saints, so we flew them out here from a great distance away.
Speaker 4:So far away, and it was first class, by the way.
Speaker 5:First class. Did you guys enjoy your seats? Absolutely Got you out here. You guys hail from where?
Speaker 1:Utah, utah.
Speaker 5:Okay, cool Utah. That's kind of a weird state, a lot of weird people. What's the name of your podcast? You already asked that bitch. I'm saying what's the name of your podcast.
Speaker 1:Sinners Among Saints.
Speaker 5:And that's a reference to the Mormons.
Speaker 1:Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 5:Oh, I see where you're going. Yeah, thanks for interrupting that. Totally fucked it over.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a playoff of where we hail from.
Speaker 5:Gotcha Okay, because the Mormons are sinners and saints.
Speaker 3:Because Utah is known as the land of the saints. Okay, and we have a lot of sketch-ass people in Utah Sketchy people.
Speaker 4:So sinners.
Speaker 3:Just in general, I'm among the saints.
Speaker 4:Pretty good chance. They're probably weirdos Pretty high.
Speaker 5:All right. So when you guys tell stories on your podcast, what is it about? Typically True crime. True crime stuff.
Speaker 1:Murder porn.
Speaker 5:Murder porn, murder porn. Lots of porn in this episode. So far. I know A lot of five minutes in. We're five minutes in. It's nothing but porn.
Speaker 3:I know I think we've said porn several times.
Speaker 5:You've got nipples and porn and only fans and murder porn and shit, All right. So this is fun.
Speaker 4:So what made you want to get into talking about real yeah?
Speaker 1:I mean, honestly, we've always really been into I think like most women, you know true crime, all those kinds of like shows, whatever. We've always been horror, true crime. And I started listening to another true crime podcast it's pretty big, I guess almost a couple, like a year and a half ago, yeah, and then I just happened to look them up and I was like holy shit, they make a shit ton of money.
Speaker 5:Which one is it?
Speaker 1:Morbid.
Speaker 5:Well, I've heard of those guys.
Speaker 1:I like sent her a message and I was like look how much money these guys make. They make like a shit ton of money. We should do this we should do this, and she was like I'm super busy, Like I don't know, and I was like too bad, we're doing it.
Speaker 5:You're doing it, so you're forced into servitude.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 5:Inventured servitude. Was that technically slave? Yeah, that's technically slavery.
Speaker 1:Nice, haven't heard that shit before.
Speaker 5:They fit in with us really well what I mean. Jeremy's here against his will, obviously. We caught him and brought him back. Jeremy, yeah, I've seen him twice. If you need help, All right. So so you two are childhood friends, though.
Speaker 1:We are yeah, Okay.
Speaker 5:So it wasn't really indentured servitude, it was just playing the friend card.
Speaker 1:So how did?
Speaker 4:that play out? When did you meet About around what age?
Speaker 1:At eleven yeah.
Speaker 4:So did you walk up and be like, hey, do you like dead people? Because I kind of dig dead people yeah pretty much Did you bond over dead people.
Speaker 5:They both witnessed a murder. They're like I really like this, me too. I hope it's going to be something like a little bit more docile, like they saw a dead bird and like, oh, they like dead stuff and they moved on to people, but they started with fucking people. They probably murdered somebody together and they're like this is fun, let's do this forever.
Speaker 3:I mean, we can't talk about that.
Speaker 5:But we were more of the kids. That Statue of limitations is forever.
Speaker 3:We were more of the kids that would see the dead bird and like dissect it. We were like those kids, definitely.
Speaker 1:Okay gotcha. Hence why we have science backgrounds, I think just a lot of women in general are interested in the.
Speaker 5:True crime.
Speaker 1:I mean, you know, the vast majority of true crime listeners are women because all Do you like true crime stuff.
Speaker 6:I like it. I don't listen to that or watch those shows a lot, but I don't really watch shows.
Speaker 4:Do you read about it? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I think it's just like kind of common. And then when I was a kid my mom was super into like horror movies. So I just kind of grew up at a young age watching scary movies. So just kind of my things.
Speaker 5:What was the first scary movie you were watching? Oh geez.
Speaker 1:Um, I can't remember necessarily movie, but when I was five, six, watch tales of the crypt with my oh, hell.
Speaker 5:Yeah, you know, back in the day We've made some crypt keeper references on here.
Speaker 1:I mean you watch it now and you're like the shit's so stupid.
Speaker 5:It's still good I can transport my brain back to 1990 and I'm good at it. The crypt keeper was so creepy when I was a kid, and then I saw him as an adult and I was like you had X files and you had tales from the crypt right after. It was fucking awesome. After you watch, saw like everything becomes second level. Second level yeah, it's not as good. A tier lower, yeah that's a reference. No, it's good. So you have a morbid fascination with with death, and I would say morbid.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I mean it's a little bit cause I think I think I'm even a little bit different than Lindsay, cause I research cases nonstop. I'd like watch, you know, forensic files, like all that shit all the time and I don't really it doesn't weigh me down, I don't feel like some people are like, oh, I need to take a break. I got to like watch something happy for a little bit, Like I'm feeling a little gotta do that to me and I think for me is like the psychology of murderers.
Speaker 5:Okay. So, like that kind of stuff has always been that way, but cause you told us that you were married to a police officer for a while. How long you guys are married for? We were together for 18 years 18 years, okay, so that's a long time. Was he a cop the whole time?
Speaker 1:Well, we met when we were 17 and then he became a cop when we were 21.
Speaker 5:Okay, so relatively the whole time you guys are married and I think a lot of times I mean Joss can attest to this I don't know if you were ever married, lindsay, to anybody that was in law enforcement. So maybe different perspective.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so she's like I watched from afar, she's like thank God. No, she's like. No, I'm not.
Speaker 5:So with that, maybe Joss and you could kind of comment on this or whatever.
Speaker 1:But do you think that that desensitized you a little bit, maybe here in the stories that your husband would come home and tell you, or no, I mean no, cause I think at least in our little group of friends, a lot of the wives didn't want to know what was going on and I was always like you never tell me that shit. Like what did you see? Like what did you do? Like I was always just like excited to hear the story. You live a way cooler life than I could ever imagine.
Speaker 5:She was trying to create that trauma bond. Yeah, she's like trauma bond with me. Honey, let me have your trauma.
Speaker 4:I mean, you know traumatic chat, you know when it's called, when people get together and then they share their horse stories. There's a word for it.
Speaker 5:There are a couple of words, when you get a group of people together and they share their stories of trauma. Yeah, you know what that's called. When you get that group together this is an unofficial term. No, it's official. It's official. It's official. No, it's not.
Speaker 4:It's called what Jeremy Group? Adrenal masturbation, yeah.
Speaker 3:Stop. Actually, I think it is official, it is. Because, it's in.
Speaker 5:Dr Kevin.
Speaker 1:Gilmour.
Speaker 5:Yeah, so it is documented. It is an official term.
Speaker 1:So you and cops do that for sure.
Speaker 5:That's what this podcast is, bro.
Speaker 1:That's essentially what we've turned this podcast in which is understandable because you go through a. You know the range of emotions a cop goes through in one day. It's not healthy for the body on a daily basis.
Speaker 5:Oh yeah, we've done. We've given training to our department about that. It is not bueno no. Fitz was intimately involved with that for a while.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, you know we've had a friend killed in the line of duty, Like you know, it's, it's a lot.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's a lot for sure.
Speaker 5:That's tough. Yeah, those are hard to deal with, and so we've kind of talked about your background with it. What about you, lindsay? Like you got in the podcast because you were?
Speaker 3:Cause I was forced.
Speaker 5:Forced. She was forced, no.
Speaker 3:I've always been into this kind of stuff and I've listened Like I usually listen to a lot of trick crime podcasts and watch documentary and books and all kinds of stuff and I just I like more the psychology behind it and I just find it fascinating. And then I'm in healthcare and so it just I feel like it just sort of goes together. It's funny how police and healthcare kind of just fit together?
Speaker 5:Yeah, it kind of does. So you're kind of more of like a criminal minds and you're kind of like a dexter.
Speaker 4:I mean, I like both of them. I'm in. I'm in Lindsay's criminal minds and Megan's dexter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I'm working a lab, so I'm kind of like behind the scenes. We thought about putting up some plastic. Yeah, and I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like behind the scenes.
Speaker 5:We thought about putting up some plastic sheeting and throwing a bunch of blood on the wall for you before you came? Absolutely. Yeah, we actually talked about that before. It's awesome, all right, cool. So on your episodes how many do you have? How long you've been doing it for?
Speaker 1:We have 72 or 73.
Speaker 3:73 episodes 72 just came out today 72.
Speaker 5:72. All right, cool 72 episodes, that's. That's good. You've been doing it for a couple of years, then A year and a half, a year and a half September 30th of what year was that?
Speaker 1:2021. Yeah, 2022. 2022.
Speaker 5:And basically it's a weekly release. Drop on Fridays Drop on Fridays. Cool, cool they're way more consistent than we are yeah for sure, yeah, we're a little inconsistent, so you can go check them out.
Speaker 4:Where do you? Where, where?
Speaker 5:can we find?
Speaker 1:Anywhere in your podcast, anywhere.
Speaker 4:Anywhere, Yep OnlyFans Pornhub.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:OnlyFans Pornhub? Yes, especially those.
Speaker 5:You can't get it in Utah, though. They banned Pornhub Pornhub.
Speaker 1:You can get some other ones.
Speaker 5:Yeah, they banned Pornhub in Utah. No, it's a law. Yeah, why you didn't see?
Speaker 1:that article. It's a law.
Speaker 5:It came out like a year ago. Why would I see Utah news? You act like you don't follow Pornhub. Why would I see Utah news If it doesn't affect my state?
Speaker 1:I don't give a shit, it's a law, so you know.
Speaker 5:It's a law.
Speaker 1:We have a lot of porn problems.
Speaker 5:Obviously Because you guys have talked about it a bunch.
Speaker 1:Not we personally we as in Utah.
Speaker 3:As in Utah 20 minutes.
Speaker 1:No but my daughter's in eighth grade and she just told me yesterday that they're learning about porn addiction in her health class.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Speaker 1:So that's like a new part of like the law that's been passed, along with banning porn auger sites.
Speaker 4:So to me that creates a question like so let's say you have a kid in that class who, for whatever reason, has never heard about porn.
Speaker 5:No, everybody's heard about porn dude, come on.
Speaker 1:You but you, so you have to sign me. I guess you want to ask a question. They grew up in New Mexico. On to the next. On to the next.
Speaker 5:They grew up in New Mexico in a Florida party Go ahead.
Speaker 1:I want to hear a question In defense of Jeremy.
Speaker 5:I didn't know what porn was until I got to high school. It's because you lived on the islands. They didn't have it over there. Motherfucker, what Did you get to the islands on the boat?
Speaker 1:Did you really live there? Were you here, Did you like?
Speaker 5:okay, yeah, no, on the islands.
Speaker 6:I thought you were a fucker, Didn't you? Weren't you born I?
Speaker 1:was born there. Yes, yeah, what was your question? I'm listening.
Speaker 4:It's funny. I have to get other podcasters to give me validation. I validated you and fits and fits, although I'm brown, so it probably is like a half it's like a half validation yeah.
Speaker 5:It counts for about 37% of a validation Just over one third. I'll take it.
Speaker 4:But even, let let's say, like a kid has heard the term and knows, like, well, that's just a video of whatever. Wouldn't that instill, like maybe a more like, if you're talking about it like more of a curiosity, with some of these kids, like everyone's talking about it, like let's see what the big deal is?
Speaker 1:As a parent, we had to sign as to whether or not.
Speaker 4:You wanted your child to participate. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I just signed shit because I don't care. My daughter's smart enough to be like, come home and tell me something if she felt like it was not okay, and then I could make that decision at that point. And I am I am of the like not going to shelter my kids from things Like life is life and we got to, like learn how to deal with shit as it comes. So I just always sign all of her stuff and send it away. But yeah, so there she said, there's a couple of kids in her class like their parents don't want them to participate in those discussions.
Speaker 5:I think it's a good discussion to have. I actually you don't get blindsided by it.
Speaker 1:No, I do but.
Speaker 5:I'll tell you this right now. Can I give you an anecdotal story? Give me, so I remember.
Speaker 1:I was in like is it?
Speaker 5:fifth or sixth grade. Sixth grade you take like the sex ed class.
Speaker 5:Yeah, fifth grade, fifth, sixth grade and I remember yeah, maturation, that's what it is Maturation class and I remember in maturation class my mom came with me to that class. My dad worked graveyard shit, so my mom was there talk about awkward and whatever. So they're sitting there talking about it and they're talking about the male genitalia and how you, when you get aroused, you get an erection, and then what they do sometimes is they masturbate to create the release and the ejaculation. And I'd never heard of anything like that before and I was like this is fascinating. So I literally went home and I practiced like that night I was going to try this shit out bro. See what.
Speaker 5:I'm saying Nothing happened, like I couldn't do it, and I was like this is dumb. But then, like a little while later, I didn't work.
Speaker 4:You can't get it. You didn't give up. She's a liar.
Speaker 5:You didn't give up.
Speaker 4:Miss Norton's a fucking liar.
Speaker 5:And nobody likes to quit her Nobody.
Speaker 1:It's hard, I think because you have so many parents who don't talk to their kids about anything yeah, Like sex, anything like that and so I think it's nice to have that for kids to have the education. But at the same time, I see your point.
Speaker 4:Well, the hard part is, I think I don't know if I mean I know they're a teacher, they've got some degree or something, but do they though?
Speaker 1:No, I mean, sometimes they don't, yeah, sometimes they don't.
Speaker 4:So I don't know if I'm going to trust some yahoo to give the best presentation.
Speaker 1:Oh, for sure.
Speaker 5:I mean honestly, I don't want some teacher teaching my kids about this stuff. That's my responsibility.
Speaker 6:Well, that's yeah, you got to beat them to it. That's what I was going to say. I don't want my kids learning that, Even with my son who's seven.
Speaker 1:I'm like what is it? He was saying something, or no, it was sorry, it was. My boyfriend's oldest is 11, almost 12, and he was saying, joking around about 69, 69. I'm like, do you know what that means? He's like yeah, I'm like tell me what you think it means, because I want to make sure that whatever you think it means is correct, because if you're going to like go around like you don't want to look like an idiot and then he was like it's the one right before 70.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then he was just like you, just know, it's inappropriate right, and he's like, yeah, I'm like you don't really know what it is. Do you? And I'm like we'll leave it at that for you right now. But like I am pretty open with my kids, like I'll tell you, like it's just you're going to learn it somewhere and I would rather you know the correct, whatever it is Before you get embarrassed by your friends, then like having kids tell you stupid shit and then you go around thinking that you like know it and you don't.
Speaker 5:Well, so funny. We had a. Ben went to his first football camp when we got to high school. Right ninth grade goes to football camp and the kids are playing. Oh sorry, ben is my son.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, yeah.
Speaker 5:So he goes to football camp this is like three years ago and they're playing cards against humanity and one of the cards that he has in his hands is an orgy card. He doesn't know what the fuck that is. So he plays this card and he pronounces it as orgy and all the kids are like what orgy? So they're looking at the car, they're like orgy and he's like I don't know what that is. So he learns what an orgy is from these high school kids. The football camp you should learn that from you.
Speaker 4:Yeah, let me, you didn't teach a kid about orgy.
Speaker 5:Come here, 13 year old, let me teach you about an orgy.
Speaker 4:Let me teach you what an orgy is. You don't even know what sex is. All the kids at the camp are like don't you see those upside down pineapples at your dad's house?
Speaker 5:Don't you know what that means Ben Negative.
Speaker 4:He's like I got a lot of aunts and uncles that come over and I just have to go to the basement.
Speaker 5:Well, so he gets home and he's telling his mom about it, and so she loses her fucking mind. She's calling me, and she's calling the coach and the athletic director, and so my phone starts blowing up. Why is your? Why is Bob? I'm like holy cow, I'm like it's high school kids. Just let him do high school kids stuff.
Speaker 6:And what happens at football camp stays.
Speaker 5:Well, I told her that and I told Ben that I said look, so next time you learn something crazy like that, come talk to me. Don't go talk to your mom, because I'm not doing this shit again next summer.
Speaker 3:It's just the opposite in our house, because my son comes to me for questions because I'm like the medical background and we've had so many like open discussions about everything that he feels more comfortable coming in talking to me about it than my husband.
Speaker 5:He treats it more clinically with you. It's like a clinical assessment.
Speaker 3:He's like what is really open about it? Yeah.
Speaker 6:But if it's a game you're not embarrassed about talking about it.
Speaker 4:And then he's going to pick up on that.
Speaker 5:Yeah, he's going to feel what it's like. Mom. What does a gate mean? He's like? What does it mean to be gaped? Mom, can you show me what a pink sock is? Why are socks pink all the time? What's docking? I had my uncle who was on the department. He worked in vice for a long time. He taught me a lot of these street terms for a lot of the stuff that we hear nowadays. Not the medical terms, but the street terms. Oh for sure yeah.
Speaker 1:And then the street terms when you're married to my ex always did either gangs or narcotics.
Speaker 5:And then he would say shit.
Speaker 1:And I'm like I don't know what that means.
Speaker 2:What's the normal person's phrase? They're going to have to speak English to me.
Speaker 1:I have never been cool. I'm not cool now, I never will be, so you got to speak to me like I'm just a regular human.
Speaker 5:You know, what's funny is we had an encounter with one of our listeners and we saw them there talking to us and she was like you guys have taught me so much vernacular. It's like the street vernacular about cop stuff. She's like dating this guy who's a cop now and she'd always come to me hey, honey, have you heard? Do you know what a chomo is? And he's like a child molester. It's like, yeah, I heard it on the podcast. It's like thanks, jeremy, just trying to help out.
Speaker 3:I'll have to say, when I listen to your podcast, sometimes you do use terms and I'm like I have no clue what that means. Oh, yeah, see so sometimes I'm like Googling it, I'm like Google. Urban Dictionary I don't know if this is going to even work, but maybe we should put a thesaurus out there.
Speaker 5:What they're talking about, oh the sandwich, the sandwich, the thesaurus? Yeah, I mean dictionary. Yeah, I like it.
Speaker 1:It was a few years back, but I don't even remember what like rap song it was. But he kept talking about cake and I was like what the fuck is cake Like, except for what you eat Like? I don't understand.
Speaker 5:You eat that too, the whole, like I don't Cake by the ocean baby.
Speaker 1:It wasn't. It wasn't I mean, but yeah, it was a but he was talking about. Was that the one or is the money? I don't even remember. I was like I don't know what that means. Like can we just speak words like real?
Speaker 5:words that are not English. Hold on.
Speaker 1:Or even like kids nowadays, like if you, if you're trying to get like people together, you're shipping them.
Speaker 5:Oh, sounds like a trafficking term. Sounds like slavery, sounds like trafficking.
Speaker 1:I'm like, what does that Like in a box with UPS?
Speaker 5:First question is how much money?
Speaker 1:is involved. What does that mean? What's my?
Speaker 5:cut, hold on. Can I make a podcast episode out of it? Is that what you're thinking?
Speaker 1:You know, like when you like each other and I'm like no, because that's stupid, that already has a meaning and it is not that, and that's a can't, you just say you're trying to get together, like why do I gotta make up a stupid word for it?
Speaker 5:My son will will text me or he'll call me and he'll use his little teenage vernacular and I'm like, excuse me. He's like, oh, above. I'm like, excuse me, Like I won't. It's, I've hung up on him a bunch of times. He's like what's up, pops, Click. He'll call me back, Hi dad.
Speaker 4:What he'll say no, cap, no cap.
Speaker 5:You say that shit, motherfucker, when Other than just this second. When have you ever heard?
Speaker 4:me say no cap.
Speaker 5:I will, but you pour all that, oakland even on this.
Speaker 1:That's dumb. I use it on a podcast once.
Speaker 5:You also say that all the time too.
Speaker 1:I do say that that's a kid thing, not all the time, but I said it a bunch. That's a kid thing, bro. It is a kid thing. My seven year old uses it.
Speaker 5:My maturity level is that of a 16 year old. Okay, all right. Well, you hating, then, because my child doesn't get to talk to me as such?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Once you're kids I mean like and you guys. But once your kids hit teenage age, it's like they're annoying enough, as it is Like you just got to like, cut it somewhere.
Speaker 6:My tactic is I start using it back to them and then I make it cringy and so they don't want it to do it anymore. I ruin it for them.
Speaker 5:I tried that, but I think it's cooler when I do it. I don't know what the fuck.
Speaker 1:My daughter was big on slay last year. Slay, slay. And she was like slay the day, slay this.
Speaker 5:Okay, do they know what slay really means, though?
Speaker 1:And now, well, this year she's like so mortified that she ever used the word slay because, it's so embarrassing, and so now we use it all the time in the house. We're like slay the day and she's like I hate you guys.
Speaker 5:I got a different meaning for slay, and I don't mean like to kill or to ride in a slay. What is it? Beat cheeks, baby Slane dragons. Slane dragons, homie. Oh yeah, you're not killing dragons, yes, mythical dragons, with my fucking Magical dragons With my.
Speaker 5:Claymore oh with your. Claymore yeah, unprofessional, unprofessional that's what I am, by the way. Unprofessional, all right. So this is fun. Introductions we have a collaboration going on. Those are fun. This is awesome. I love it. It's fun. We've been chatting for like two and a half hours before we finally turned the mixer on Not a big deal. You got to get to know each other a little bit and kind of see how the flow is going to roll right. Yeah, you got a better feel of how it is right.
Speaker 3:They made us dinner. Yeah, they fed us.
Speaker 5:Yeah, we did make you dinner, you're all right, racist tacos, racist tacos, that's what they're called. They were delicious, no matter how racist they were, we like to appropriate. Yeah, it's a sign of Respect Dominance. No, respect Dominance.
Speaker 4:Hold on, if you win, you get to do whatever the fuck you want to yes, it is what is.
Speaker 5:Humping is a sign of dominance. Humping. That's why my dogs never tried to help me, because they know the wall. Humping is a sign of dominance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, In animals like if you have like two male dogs and one's humping the other one. I'm like, oh, it's so gross, like no, he's just it's dominance.
Speaker 5:A searcher dominance. Are they just trying to get freaky?
Speaker 1:Maybe no no, it's dominance, Even female dogs. Females do it to male dogs, do they yeah?
Speaker 5:Oh what.
Speaker 4:Maybe they just identify as a gay or lesbian dog.
Speaker 5:Exactly, it's 2024.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I do. I did work in the animal field for a while. I have also a degree in that.
Speaker 5:Wait, were you also a dog groomer Like?
Speaker 1:the foremaster Brandy, oh my gosh. Oh, did you guys listen to that episode Better?
Speaker 6:yes, so I have like a vet tech degree. But did you ever have to express the anal glands?
Speaker 1:I mean, yes, I have had to Nice.
Speaker 4:Now, Hell yeah, I had one year.
Speaker 5:We should get Megan and Brandy together and just have some freaking expression stories, what's called the sagus express.
Speaker 1:We didn't do it as much on like the clinical side, just because, like just for fun. When the groomers and it's usually small dogs, because, like big dogs, poop big enough- so, like it expresses on its own right. Little dogs don't always, and so then you have to go in and manually do it.
Speaker 5:So on the clinical side you don't do it as often. These kids going to hear this and go to mom, what's an anal gland express? And how old am I supposed to be before I get it? Oh my gosh, we did confirm that people have anal glands.
Speaker 1:And can get anal glands expressed. Yeah, but I will tell you that there was a dog that used to come into our clinic and he was a Rottweiler and that's one of my favorite breeds and I had one and I love them. His name was Fritz and I swear to God he was gay and it was like the only time I've ever met like an animal. But he just was. He was a gay dog.
Speaker 5:Explain.
Speaker 1:I don't even know how you can like I don't even know how to explain it Like, did he prance Kind, he was just gay.
Speaker 4:I don't even know. His walking wasn't masculine.
Speaker 1:When he like crawled up and be like bark Kind of Bark bark. For sure, for sure. Yeah, he, just he was, and I don't know how to explain it any other way except for that he was a.
Speaker 4:he was a rot one. He was, yeah, With the bark of a shitsu.
Speaker 1:Pretty much. Yeah, I mean, they are all kind of that way If you've ever met one.
Speaker 5:but met what.
Speaker 1:A rotweiler.
Speaker 5:They're all like that when you start expressing.
Speaker 6:Yeah, when you got to buy the glands.
Speaker 5:They got to buy the glands.
Speaker 3:He didn't need his anal glands expressed. No, those were getting expressed. Oh, those were getting expressed.
Speaker 5:There we go. He went through, he went through the whole clinic thing and he's like you're not going to express him. Why did I come?
Speaker 3:Like what the fuck? No, why didn't I come?
Speaker 5:Yes, they're trying to take him out of the room to go back to the kennel where they hold him, and he's like pulling on the leash trying to tuck his butt around. He's like, no, no, he's backing back into the room. Yeah, backing back into the room. Reat, reat, reat. Oh Nice. Now all the animal lovers are going to be turning on. We are so done, canceled. That was good. Fitz is gay, just saying what.
Speaker 3:His name was Fritz. It was close.
Speaker 5:Oh, we're just saying Fitz is gay, though You're gay, bro, it's okay.
Speaker 3:Can we just call you Fritzy?
Speaker 5:Yeah, fritzy, I have zero Germanness in me, so negative, at least not this Friday night. Tomorrow you might yeah, you knew, knows so inappropriate. All right, so that's a fun introduction, let's move on. What do you say, you guys? Anything else to talk about? You want to drop anything else about your podcast or get anything else out there. Any more info, you feel like?
Speaker 1:you've shared enough. Follow us on all of our social media.
Speaker 5:Facebook, instagram, which is, which is, which is? What's the?
Speaker 1:handles Just sinners among saints podcast. Sinners among saints podcast.
Speaker 5:No only fans to drop. Yes, three cops, one mic.
Speaker 4:Yeah, they're like, not our personal ones. It's not sinners among saints, it's sinners in saints.
Speaker 6:Oh damn.
Speaker 4:Insaints. Boom, there's your hook. I like it, got it, you got it.
Speaker 1:You should go reserve that right now. Yes, Cool. Oh, and our Patreon.
Speaker 5:You got Patreon, patreon, all right, so how do you get there?
Speaker 1:Sinners among. Well, it's patreoncom slash. Sinners among saints podcast.
Speaker 5:OK, and do you get extra stuff with it, or what?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we have three different tiers the five and $10 one. You get the $5 one. You get like a bonus episode each month and then and there's a couple other things in there, but that's like the big one and then the $10 you get the bonus episode each month, and then we just started an after hours show that we'll put on there once a month. That's just us like shooting the shit, talking about different things, yeah. And we just do whatever we want, bonus things.
Speaker 3:And it's a video.
Speaker 1:That one's a video Like, so you'll get to see our beautiful faces.
Speaker 3:Oh OK, Cool, One of our episodes. I did a rap, so you get. Oh yeah.
Speaker 4:Oh, you did a rap.
Speaker 3:She did a rap. Oh shit, Don't ask, it wasn't a real rap.
Speaker 5:A rap isn't like you sing a song. Yeah so is it singing?
Speaker 3:if you're rapping, yeah, sure Well it was not really either when I did it but the case is a horrific case, but the one of the. It's the Ken and Barbie murders. Yeah, have you heard of that?
Speaker 1:Carla Homoka.
Speaker 5:Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So he thought he was a rapper and he had some and he had a rap that I found online.
Speaker 3:Oh, and you wrapped it the Hawaiian episode.
Speaker 5:You guys had that. Is this the Hawaiian episode? No, yeah, ok. I'm pretty sure I heard that one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so he thought he was this great rapper and made these terrible, terrible raps, and so I got some free music and and wrapped to it.
Speaker 5:Oh nice.
Speaker 3:His lyrics, yeah so you get that.
Speaker 5:Can you give us a taste?
Speaker 3:I don't even remember.
Speaker 5:Oh boo.
Speaker 3:Go sign up for our Patreon.
Speaker 4:You can Sign up for the Patreon. You got to pay to play baby, you got to pay to play.
Speaker 5:You know how drug dealers do it, though. They give you a little taste oh yeah, that's true and then you can't quit, and then you go get the whole thing and then you get addicted. And then you know, lindsay's a rapper, rap star. She's a new vanilla ice. But she's nice, it would be vanilla, nice Vanilla nice, she's nice Vanilla nice Vanilla, nice Vanilla nice, that's going to go far, that's good.
Speaker 5:Hell yeah, vanilla, nice Dude. I just found the preamble for our episode. What is it? I'll pay for it. I'll go fucking find it, we'll rip it and we can drop her rap on it. Oh, hell yeah, hell yeah. There are people that are listening.
Speaker 4:They're like what the fuck? Is this.
Speaker 5:Just makes no sense at all and just delete this whole part out, so nobody knows what's happening. Nobody knows the fuck. Is that what?
Speaker 3:is this? No, we have it somewhere. We can actually send it to you.
Speaker 1:I mean, I can pull it up right now and play it.
Speaker 3:I used our mixer to do a male voice.
Speaker 5:Oh, did you. Yeah, nice, that's cool, that is cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Sweet. All right, so we have it wrapped on our podcast. Yet Go for it, fitz.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there's, let's hear it. Now's the time.
Speaker 5:What are we rapping? Jeremy, probably could actually.
Speaker 3:Jeremy's the one.
Speaker 5:Is there one chance to blow? Just one, just kidding. I get all the chances to blow.
Speaker 1:That's why you can't see me every week. Who's that?
Speaker 5:Homemaking raps or what. He's at home blowing.
Speaker 3:I'm not blowing, oh man.
Speaker 5:We're out and down blowing. Yeah, Gotcha Blowing who.
Speaker 3:He wasn't really playing hide and seek when he went missing.
Speaker 5:Well, he was playing hide and seek with me?
Speaker 3:Well, it is with something.
Speaker 5:Something was hiding and something was seeking.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, hide and seek Tested in the gag reflex.
Speaker 5:Damn, it's non-existent. That has been eradicated. All right. So our next step in our podcast, we typically tell some national stories or something like that. So Fitz is our boy who looks us up. Sometimes others come up with it, but Fitz has some good ones for this week. So let's get into this and kind of a compartment Are we going happy or sad?
Speaker 6:Oh, my hell, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 5:Just kidding, shut up, I know, just kidding. Well, since we were, talking about animals, angry much. Let's talk about the armed soldier that went and stormed an animal shelter to get his cat back. Nice, where did this happen? We've got to do what it takes. This is, this is in Australia, armed with what they don't have guns.
Speaker 5:An ex-Australian soldier in full tactical gear burst into an animal shelter with an AR and tied up a social or tied up a worker in a failed bid to get his kitty back. So his cat got taken away. And then he had petitioned to the animal shelter to get his animal back and they declined it and so, for whatever reason, they were going to release the animal the next day into their adoption portion so you could go adopt it the very next day, so he could have went and adopted his own cat back. Well, why, I don't know. No, you should go there full force and get the cat back. Fuck the adoption.
Speaker 1:Yeah, why, when you can tie someone up?
Speaker 4:I guess that's one way to get pussy.
Speaker 1:Not this guy Not.
Speaker 4:Tony Whitman.
Speaker 1:Can you finish the story in an Australian accent, please? No.
Speaker 5:He was so mad, he was so mad.
Speaker 4:He can't even do an American accent. Motherfucker, I'm speaking in an American accent it doesn't sound like it.
Speaker 5:Sounds Chinese, very Chinesey.
Speaker 4:Those are the E's. He had broth for lunch.
Speaker 5:Tony Whitman was allegedly so mad when workers at the Lost Dogs Home in Melbourne told him that he needed a way. Today, oh, he's accused of threatening a 23-year-old female worker with the gun in the parking lot. He said his do as I say and listen to me, I won't shoot you, don't try anything or I'll shoot you. Whitman, oh so allegedly OK. So he apparently did get the approval to get it, but he had to come back the next day and pick it up. But that was too much time for him to be said in front of a lovely feline.
Speaker 5:So yeah. So he showed back up and threatened somebody in the parking lot in full tactical gear, with an AR, and held the employee hostage.
Speaker 3:It was his emotional support cat.
Speaker 5:Yeah, he couldn't wait, obviously.
Speaker 1:See how bad that went down.
Speaker 5:He wrecked without that cat. Man Lost the emotions. Well, did he get it back? He needed that cat. Did he get the cat back? No, he didn't. He's going to the shill. So hold on, hold on. Did he get stopped in the parking lot and never made it past the parking lot? No, he got inside. Then why the fuck did he get the cat Then? How come he didn't get the cat? Because the police showed up and arrested him.
Speaker 4:Come on.
Speaker 5:We know the response times are at least 10 to 15 minutes. Oh my gosh, he's charged with kidnapping.
Speaker 1:False imprisonment and armed robbery.
Speaker 5:And he was denied bail Catnapping.
Speaker 1:Does he get to participate in the Pit Bulls and Perles program while he's there?
Speaker 4:V-Lines and felons. V-lines and felons. I like it. Oh, that's a cat. Sounds like a shady bar. Yeah, it does.
Speaker 6:It's kind of like prison brides I've been watching that Come down to the V-Lines and felons oh yeah, I watched the trashiest real reality TV, the women who love to go after men who are already in prison these are all just women that have either met them while they're in prison or trying to get married Like the one dude's in there for life.
Speaker 1:Even if he doesn't come out, I will still wait for him because I love him.
Speaker 5:Dang. Do they get conjugals? That's true love, though, right, some of them do. That's like do you love them? Do you get conjugals?
Speaker 1:It depends on where you're at and what you're in there for right.
Speaker 5:I don't know. Yeah, it does. I've never been a prison guard. They're called corrections officers. Yeah, prison guard.
Speaker 1:There's an actual term for women who fall in love with inmates.
Speaker 5:What is it? It's called crazy.
Speaker 1:No, I mean essentially, but it's like a mental disorder and I can't remember. I can look it up real quick, but it's an actual mental disorder.
Speaker 4:Really.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because you're you know. It's like a you get to be in control, you're safe, like you know you, they're behind bars. Yeah, like you get so it feels dangerous. It's like you get everything you need in a relationship right? Because they're going to be super loving to you. They're going to seem like you know they write to all these letters, and it's always good, they can't hurt you like they physically harm you Like they can't do. You know what I mean? It's just, it's this weird.
Speaker 5:Yeah, no, touching, they're still bad boys. Yeah, no, touchy, and they don't make no money for you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's the best part of a relationship right, Money and touching.
Speaker 5:Exactly, that's the best part you get married. That's why you get married.
Speaker 6:For money and touching For money and touching yeah for sure, probably what it is so a lot of people go to Thailand.
Speaker 5:Money and touching Money and touching Thailand. Bangkok yes. Next story yeah.
Speaker 1:Sorry, hybristophilia.
Speaker 5:Hold on, say it again.
Speaker 1:Hybristophilia.
Speaker 5:Hybrist Spell it, spell it.
Speaker 1:H-Y-B-R-I-S-T-O-philia.
Speaker 5:Hybristo.
Speaker 1:Is a paraffilia involving sexual interest in and attraction to those who commit crimes.
Speaker 5:So they just want bad boys, bad boys, the ultimate, bad boys, the ultimate. But they're not good at it, because they got caught, yeah.
Speaker 1:They're listeners, they're interested in everything that you're doing. You can have this like nurturing long-lasting emotional relationship, Because we can't go anywhere.
Speaker 5:Yeah, essentially, they can't go to the dance recital. They can't fucking mow the lawn. What the fuck are they?
Speaker 1:Yeah, essentially it's like you're I don't know like. I just feel like you're that desperate.
Speaker 5:Yeah, no shit.
Speaker 1:For attention.
Speaker 5:Well, I mean you get this relationship with this person in the prison. They have a side dude or chick and you can get all the other stuff from them, these women don't usually do that right.
Speaker 1:It's the dudes in prison that have the side chick yeah. That's also given them money for their commissary and they're actually being loyal to these men. Yeah, and then they have all these stupid women who are like but I love you. I mean, there was a woman that married Richard Ramirez. He literally.
Speaker 4:The night stalker.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and he was literally known for smelling like death. He never brushed his teeth. He was disgusting rapist.
Speaker 4:Poor personal hygiene. Poor personal hygiene.
Speaker 1:And someone still married him in prison, that's gross Disgusting. Weird.
Speaker 5:All right, women. Next story. Happy or sad, motherfucker, go happy. I don't have any motherfucker stories. Oh, that sucks. I got one for the savage All right, let's go to Oklahoma.
Speaker 4:There's your motherfucker in Oklahoma. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 5:Okay, well, this one an Oklahoma deputy is arrested after allegedly assaulting an adult toy store employee. Boom, this one's awesome the guy fucked his mother. An Oklahoma sheriff's commander is jailed for allegedly assaulting an employee at an adult toy store. Investigators say the incident happened at Christie's Toy Box, involving Pottawatomie County Sheriff's Deputy David DeWitt. Hold on, can we make a change to the name of the place? Why Christie's Toy Box? Why not Christie's Box?
Speaker 3:That's so much better.
Speaker 5:It says Christie's Toy Box. Dude, she missed the mark you could have done so much better.
Speaker 4:Christie, Come to Christie's Box. Come in Christie's Box. Come in Christie's Box and we'll tell you For you find treasures Come inside. Come inside. Christie's Box Come inside.
Speaker 5:Come inside Christie's Box Bingo. Come in Christie's Box. Come inside Christie's Box. You swung me and we've got lots of treasures for you. Yeah, okay, so let's start this over. So investigators said the incident happened Monday night at Christie's.
Speaker 1:Box when he came inside Christie's Box when he came inside Christie's Box.
Speaker 6:Yes.
Speaker 5:With Potawatomi County Sheriff's Deputy David DeWitt, all right. So, according to police report, when they responded he noted the officers noticed that the store clerk had blood on his face. The victim told the officer that DeWitt and a woman were walking in the store and every time the woman wanted something, dewitt started arguing with her. In the report the victim said DeWitt told the woman that she did not need the merchandise because the sex toy was bigger than it. Yeah, I knew it was going to get that.
Speaker 1:I knew it, I knew it, so he assaulted someone because he felt inadequate next to the sex toys, if you're that insecure.
Speaker 6:Why are you taking your woman into some other, like treasure boxes?
Speaker 5:It's like honey that fist is too large.
Speaker 1:She's just trying to tell you that you're too vanilla and she wants to spice it up. She's not.
Speaker 6:No, she's not Give her what she wants, she's too little.
Speaker 1:No, no, she is she is A little more than missionary.
Speaker 6:Let her have it.
Speaker 4:She's saying you're hung like a bull hamster and I need more.
Speaker 6:I need more. Well then, give it to her Like is he mad?
Speaker 4:Well, he can't give more than three inches. Obviously he's mad.
Speaker 6:He can, he can buy something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's not asking to go with someone else. She's asking him to give it to her.
Speaker 5:She's there with him. He can buy her something. No, he's a stretch out those walls bro.
Speaker 1:Apparently Jeremy's on his side, so I'm not on his side. I'm saying it's OK.
Speaker 5:I'm saying we understand Kindred spirits, he couldn't. Dewitt allegedly raised his hands multiple times like he was about to backhand the woman. According to the report, that's when the clerk intervened by asking DeWitt to calm down and that he needs to leave the store. The victim said. Dewitt responded by saying fuck you, I'm a cop. Eventually, DeWitt and the woman made their way to the counter to make a purchase. As items were placed on the counter, the victim asked if the two needed batteries for the large battery operated sex toy. Hell yes.
Speaker 5:In the report the victim told officers that DeWitt got angry, said that he should have asked them if they needed batteries before testing the sex toy Before testing what?
Speaker 1:Probably just turning it on yeah.
Speaker 5:No bro, Testing the sex toy.
Speaker 3:Well, he was like it's already bigger than me and now it vibrates, no vibrates, I'm just going to pass.
Speaker 4:The battery is hard to Look. I may only have three inches, but I can do a hell of a lot with that shit. Okay, true, and I don't need batteries? Yeah, I don't either.
Speaker 5:I don't need batteries, it's all about how you use it. That's exactly what I've been told.
Speaker 4:It's not the size of the wand, it's the magic that you put into it.
Speaker 1:I really that's 100% agree with that.
Speaker 5:Notice how these two are staring lovingly into each other's eyes. These two are just staring into each other's eyes where? They're having this conversation Little sidebar, meaning Jake and I.
Speaker 4:Yes, yes, jeremy, of course, oh yeah, why wouldn't we?
Speaker 5:I mean, this isn't a video, so people can't see Kindred spirits, exactly.
Speaker 5:So it says the clerk said that it was company policy. According to the woman, dewitt responded by asking what the fuck you say to me, fat boy, get the fuck out of my face. And then he assaulted him. Hold on, this all makes sense. This all makes sense. You know how? He has a little dick. What's his rank? I said he's a commander. Commander, there you go, commander. What'd you say to me? That sounds about right. It's all you commanders out there who listen.
Speaker 4:Deny it. I honestly hope that when he's like what'd you say, fat boy, he's like you heard me, little dick. I hope that's how the exchange went, yeah.
Speaker 5:You know it. I hope that the sex shop worker was smart enough to say that.
Speaker 6:Yes.
Speaker 5:You never know, maybe, oh, it gets better, yes, better. So after he punched the dude, the clerk says he told DeWitt to leave. Dewitt came back around the counter, started punching him in the face, punching him in the rib cage. When he came back out from behind the counter he throws a clear bucket full of suckers across the store and a two-tier container with mints across the store. This guy's throwing a fucking hissy fit he's having a tea drunk man.
Speaker 5:Dude, you're smelling a bitch. They leave. The clerk throws a boxed sex toy at DeWitt Nice. Dewitt yells back call the fucking cops. I'm an officer of the law. You don't fucking assault me. I can have you arrested, jailed, where you never get out. Oh my gosh, this guy's a tool. Dewitt was pulled over by Norman police officer. They linked them together because they had a, Because he showed up in his cop car no it matched the vehicle.
Speaker 5:So the clerk gave the. When he called the police he gave them the description of the vehicle. A cop pulled them over for speeding and then the information came out about the assault Sex toy assault. They linked it all up. Did he get beat up at what's her face's box? Christie's box, Christie's box? Is that it? Yeah, oh damn, All right, cool, Sorry. Did you want more? No, I mean, I didn't know if you were done yet I couldn't tell. The commander assaults the sex toy worker. I'm not surprised. That's when you take your Viagra after you've gone to the sex store. Yeah, you gotta do it after you go there Not before, not before.
Speaker 3:Okay, so those of us who don't know where a commander falls, yeah, that's a good question. Can you tell me?
Speaker 5:I don't know, I don't know the ranks are oh fuck, I can find out.
Speaker 4:If he's commander, he usually Sure wish.
Speaker 5:George was here to do a fucking show. No, I'll tell you.
Speaker 4:If he's a commander, he usually falls on his knees. Bingo, that's how you get to be a commander.
Speaker 5:You take a knee, you take her too. Her two knees, knee pads, yeah Gotcha, they want a chief.
Speaker 1:You just gotta get him calloused. No.
Speaker 5:No, no, no, they bleed too much and those superiors don't want the blood on their carpet. You're not doing it right.
Speaker 4:I mean, he's not like a deputy chief, so apparently he's got a lot to learn.
Speaker 5:Yeah, he still has more to learn.
Speaker 4:He can learn more.
Speaker 1:So bad for his girlfriend or whoever. Yeah, he's got a bad temper.
Speaker 4:He's got a small dick and now he's in jail. Yeah.
Speaker 1:What does he even bring into the table? Nothing. So what do we say? He doesn't even have a job that brings in a smile.
Speaker 4:Yeah. So what do we say? Love is all about Money and touching.
Speaker 5:And she just lost both of those. She doesn't have either one dude Marriage over.
Speaker 4:Over. You know what would be the best? If she went back and married the storyteller.
Speaker 5:That's a fitting end. That's what I wanted Fist to end the story.
Speaker 4:She's like he gets a 20%, he gets a discount.
Speaker 5:He gets a discount. Bro Got him. So it doesn't have a rank structure on there. I think a commander is probably in the line of like captain.
Speaker 4:Probably yeah, A little higher Division commander, yeah, division commander so you're pretty high up.
Speaker 5:You're commanding quite a few people. It depends on the agency and whatnot. Different agencies have different structures, but that's typically how it goes. So I'd say that's probably in the realm of where you're at. So he's pretty high up there. It's not like some freaking lowly sergeant or some crap like that you know he's up there, he should know better. I mean, he should know better anyway, but You're a human being, you should know better, right.
Speaker 1:Especially in this day and age. We're like everyone hates you guys anyway, you don't need to give anybody any reason to think poorly of you and to go into a shop and then act like a complete ass hat.
Speaker 5:Why don't you think that made people hate us though?
Speaker 4:Well, a lot do. I'm just saying his wife. At some point there was a conversation let's go to the sex store.
Speaker 5:It's got to get something to spice it up because your dick is small.
Speaker 4:Whether that was the conversation, probably not. Yeah, but what I'm saying is you don't think she's honest in her relationship? No, like he has to know what's in there, right, it's not like and he's got to do his box. Well, he's got to know.
Speaker 5:Yeah, he probably didn't get to explore that much of Christian's box.
Speaker 1:He can't say he's never been in there.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and she's going to see some big old deal-dosing shit.
Speaker 1:And yeah, there's shit in there that's like weird big. We're like where is that? Like who, what's happening there? Shouldn't make you feel bad because like no. Like sorry, is that an elephant penis in your store?
Speaker 5:You go into the sex store and you feel like am I at the amputee store or what's going on here? Am I?
Speaker 6:getting these are.
Speaker 4:Is it the?
Speaker 5:mannequin store.
Speaker 4:These are legs right, but the leg so they get there and she's like was she just picking out? Like, well, I like that one. And he's like good lord, he's like that's six inches, what the fuck. That is six inches. No, man is that big. Where are you getting these ideas from?
Speaker 5:You will die. You're going to perforate something to that Holy shit.
Speaker 4:But even then, apparently he doesn't love his wife.
Speaker 5:It says woman, it never determines if it's wife or not. So it could be mistress. Well, she could be.
Speaker 4:No, it has to be.
Speaker 1:If it was a mistress, it'd be a lot different. Yeah, it would have been a different interaction.
Speaker 4:She has to have married. That because you're not going to stick around with an angry tempered small thing.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, exactly, or that's like an early relationship boyfriend and she thought this would be fun. And then she's like well, this she's like. She thought he was going to grow.
Speaker 5:She thought he's going to grow mentally and emotionally. Yeah.
Speaker 4:He's still a growing boy, mom, and physically Physically he's not a grower or a shower right.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 4:She had no perspective. No, oh, I wonder if it was like they had the first. Maybe it was like a new relationship and they just hooked up the night before and she's like good idea, why don't we go to the sex shop? And he's like wait what? And she's like just for funsies.
Speaker 5:How many people go to the sex shop on their second date?
Speaker 4:Well, because she saw what he was working with.
Speaker 1:She's like hold on, she's like hold on. She's like hold on.
Speaker 4:She's like yeah, she's like hold on Go to step two.
Speaker 5:We've got to stay. We need some help. She's like your personality is awesome.
Speaker 1:You're a man in uniform, so that gives you.
Speaker 5:That gives you an extra couple points.
Speaker 4:She's like you're just knocking at the door. Buddy, I need you to get in there.
Speaker 5:You're just knocking at the door. You got to breach the door. You got to breach that door. Breach that door. You can't do what I will, holy shit.
Speaker 4:Nice. So I got a couple more, but All right, did you have one?
Speaker 5:Oh, you had one from last week. Oh yeah, you said you're going to bring one from last week. Then we didn't have time because Jeremy had his mom came and got him Jeremy's mom. I got in trouble. Did you get in trouble? I could tell you were going to, did you really?
Speaker 6:But I did.
Speaker 5:But I did, you didn't. I got in trouble for real. She's stuck out right now.
Speaker 4:She's at her bridge game right now. She's not.
Speaker 5:You're stuck out right now.
Speaker 4:You're a bridge. You're stuck out.
Speaker 5:What's the other game that women play? They all get together and they play that stupid fucking.
Speaker 1:Bunko oh yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? I don't even know what that is, but Bunko what's that Bunko?
Speaker 2:I don't know what the game is. I know that women get together and do it but I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1:Did you know this?
Speaker 5:Yeah, what the hell's Bunko? When I think of Bunko, I think of that game that was on my.
Speaker 1:Plinko.
Speaker 3:Plinko, the price is right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, price is right.
Speaker 3:Fuck is Plinko. I've played it once, like I don't know, 15 years ago.
Speaker 5:You played it.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Was it fun, Like some girls that I haven't had. Bunko parties.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that sounds like code names and so yeah, it's really not you know no Layden Offices, layden, lindsay was thinking that too, and she showed up and was like shit it's really just a game.
Speaker 5:I heard it's like a cult, Like women. Don't talk about what happens at Bunko. Shut up. Well, maybe I just went to the wrong Bunko party, but Because even to this day, I have not found out what Bunko is. And she's playing Koi, it's literally just like a.
Speaker 3:It's literally just like a game.
Speaker 5:And Lindsay's playing Koi.
Speaker 1:Oh, is it a card game.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's like a card game.
Speaker 5:See how vaguely described.
Speaker 1:That's all vague dude. This is a fucking whole N-Koi, bro.
Speaker 5:The first rule of Bunko is, you don't talk about Bunko.
Speaker 4:Yeah, dude, that's right. The best nights are the ones you can't remember yeah.
Speaker 3:That's right.
Speaker 5:We've got Fight Club and they've got Bunko. Except for in.
Speaker 3:Utah. It's usually like a bunch of Mormon women who just bake really good food.
Speaker 5:Oh, so it's not a good kind of Bunko, so maybe I just went to the wrong type of Bunko party.
Speaker 4:It's like Jello with Carrots and Diet Coke.
Speaker 1:Sorry, restate that, would you say. Mormons mask their freakiness with their religion.
Speaker 5:I'll do that.
Speaker 1:Like and I'm not. I'm born and raised in Utah but I'm not LDS, but the stories I've heard that come from the singles word.
Speaker 5:Singles word.
Speaker 1:Freaky shit yeah.
Speaker 5:What's that? That sounds good, single and ready to tingle. Is that what it is? It's like an online dating game, but it's a ward. It's like online dating for church, but it's like church.
Speaker 4:So like each so a key party.
Speaker 1:Key party, yeah, then you have like one specific word for all the single people in that area. That just sounds bad. That way they can hopefully like get together. That sounds like trouble.
Speaker 5:They like try to Get all the singles together Sounds like a bar, like a speed date You're like let's learn about Jesus and try to find a fuck buddy yeah.
Speaker 1:It's what I hear.
Speaker 4:That's where there was a town where a bunch of kids soaking Our buddies, our conspiracy brothers, talked about it.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, so they play either soaking or just the tip where, if you put, we know what just the tip is.
Speaker 5:Oh, we know what just the tip is or ouch ouch you're on my hair, ouch ouch you're on my hair, or just anal.
Speaker 1:That doesn't count as sex.
Speaker 3:Doesn't count as a poop hole. Yeah, that doesn't count either. Yeah, what Anal and oral don't count as sex?
Speaker 1:It's not the baby making hole so.
Speaker 5:Isn't it called anal sex? No, oral sex, why is that not sex? No.
Speaker 1:Because you're not procreating, because it's glandular.
Speaker 4:You can't procreate through the butthole.
Speaker 1:You're still considered a virgin. Yeah, they still say that they're virgins.
Speaker 5:Just our butthole's not a virgin. Yeah, your butthole's not a virgin. They got a virgin B.
Speaker 1:I'm a vagina virgin.
Speaker 5:That's your first thing. I'm a virgin. What kind A vagina? Not my hands, my mouth or my body. Pormatitis One hole left.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just my vagina.
Speaker 4:So is that like a common question, like out of the holes you have, which are still?
Speaker 1:good. Which ones have not been tainted Not?
Speaker 4:the nostrils, not the ear.
Speaker 5:No, the taint has. The taint doesn't count.
Speaker 4:The taint doesn't count.
Speaker 5:It's been tainted. It's been tainted. Yeah, that's the runway. It's like Gaza. Holy shit between the two.
Speaker 4:The conspiracy brothers talked about soaking. You just park it in the garage and leave it there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if there's no movement, then you're not.
Speaker 4:You're not backing in and out.
Speaker 3:Then why do it at all? I actually literally just heard this word oh, don't you have somebody jump on the bed though? You got this? Yes, you have. They have their friends come in and jump on the bed. Jump on the bed so they're not moving, but then they're getting some movement.
Speaker 5:Fucking stop.
Speaker 3:I'm serious, like just have sex. Hold on, can we try this?
Speaker 5:Who are you looking at when you say that? I'm not looking into the face, bro, he was making direct eye contact. He said can we try this? You look right at my fucking face, right in your fucking ocular cavities.
Speaker 4:Right in my ocular cavities.
Speaker 5:bro, that's right. She looks right at me and said can we try this, Can I?
Speaker 4:fucking finish my thong.
Speaker 5:No, I will not let you finish.
Speaker 4:Can you finish?
Speaker 5:No, you're not finishing, I'm not part of this.
Speaker 3:Look, you're not going to finish, let's all at least don't look him in the eyes when you do If anybody's finishing, it's me.
Speaker 5:No, I contact. Let's all try this this weekend. What the hell.
Speaker 4:We heard you struggle with finishing anyway, so this podcast has taken you bitch.
Speaker 1:He gave us the story on not being able to finish.
Speaker 5:Oh, I mean, it's my first time.
Speaker 1:And it wasn't doing it right. So you say I figured it out.
Speaker 4:It's all about technique, the grip. It's all about the grip. We have some torque in there, so this podcast has taken a turn.
Speaker 1:Find the rest on our OnlyFans, yeah seriously, we're literally going to have a lot of soaking going on.
Speaker 6:Hard nipples and soaking. These guys are going to try that this weekend.
Speaker 5:Holy shit, fitz has an idea. Fitz is like listen, joss is introducing a game at the end and if you lose we get to go fucking soak. You have to soak and Jeremy and I get to jump on the bed. Oh, is that what it is? Okay, I'm down. I thought it was like you and me. Bitch. Fuck, I'm not living out that fantasy with you, homie. I was just going to say move on, move on. Is it not good? No, it's good, but I don't want to say it now. Pussy, fuck you Come on. No, okay, fine, those are titties, what.
Speaker 6:What I'm going to scroll through, what's on your phone right now, holy shit.
Speaker 5:Brittany's out with her friends right now, so Is that a new titty pic? Have you guys seen the New York police dance team? Yes, we talked about it, didn't we? Yeah, dance team. We didn't talk about it on the podcast.
Speaker 1:No men or women.
Speaker 5:Women, it's women.
Speaker 1:Well, the team is consistent of both.
Speaker 5:Yeah, oh, the video I saw was all women Correct, so it yeah.
Speaker 1:Is it good?
Speaker 5:Or there's tryouts. It's not there's no tryouts, yeah, they do.
Speaker 4:No, it's. I read the fucking article.
Speaker 5:So the so the New York police department's dance team was created for wellness, as a way for people to express themselves. It was never meant to be like a public thing Other than the dog groomers.
Speaker 4:Expressing the glance.
Speaker 3:I got you, I got you.
Speaker 4:Yeah, oh, wrong kind of expression Different expression.
Speaker 1:Oh, got you.
Speaker 5:So, but it was never meant to be like a competitive thing or a public thing, Like it was just a just a team that officers could join and dance and so they like essentially wanted to put together a Zumba team, kind of To like work out. Yeah, it was to be. It was to be healthy, both physically and mental, and so it became this big thing. When the local news station, whatever wanted them to do a thing, and so it blew up, everyone was it was like on USA Today or some bullshit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is the video of these cops.
Speaker 5:These cops like dancing Good morning America. Okay, my perception of this If these guys want to have a dance team, then go do it. It's off duty, right, correct, it's not on duty. Okay, they don't use any department funds. It's like an extracurricular activity. They're doing all their costumes and everything is all paid for by the members of the team. Okay, yeah, nothing is so. Are they dancing in competitions? Is it just like a yoga class? They all get together with Pretty much.
Speaker 1:It's like a Zumba class. Okay, why is this news?
Speaker 5:Because they were asked by the good morning America to go on and do a thing. So they did one of their dance, they choreographed, and then there was a big outpour. Well, both sides of the line, a lot of people were for it, a lot of people were against it because they thought that it was detracting from the goal of law enforcement. These officers should be doing something else versus learning dances and taking up money.
Speaker 5:But that was the thing. They didn't know, that that was on their own time, that it was not funded by the police department. Yeah, so it's supported by the department, but it's not funded or anything. So this is my take on this, real quick, and you guys can have your own take, that's fine. My take is this If they're doing it on their own, you're welcome. If you're doing this on your own time and it's not funded by the police department, I don't give a fuck what you do. If it's not illegal, who?
Speaker 1:gives a shit Right Like why.
Speaker 5:And if you can invite it out to good morning America to do your dance, do you feel comfortable doing it and have fun? Do you boob? Because I have seen worse shit in my own police department, where I have commanders and high level structured individuals who are trying to make viral dances to lip syncing of stupid fucking songs. Bitch, I was a part of that. Getting paid to do that shit. Yeah, I got paid to do that.
Speaker 6:Well, you're part of the problem.
Speaker 5:I'm not for that. That's stupid. I'm for it.
Speaker 1:People are constantly wanting you, as police officers, to be better mentally, be, have more compassion, have more of this. They're constantly complaining about how you're too forceful. So these group of ladies are like trying to do some shit to you know, maybe counterbalance the mental stuff they go through as officers Off duty. You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. No matter what you do, yeah, someone's going to have something to say.
Speaker 5:It's a part for the course where there's a police video taken out of context.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure yeah.
Speaker 5:So they're thinking these guys got a dance team, they're going to be dancing on duty and they're getting paid by the department to go dance and shit like that. So people fucking take this out of context and they're railing against these people. But when you find out the truth of the matter, it's like no, this is their own personal shit they're doing on the side. They got together. Who cares? Yeah, let them do their thing. Do I like that? It's like on Good Morning America. It's kind of weird.
Speaker 1:And they like it's cheesy. Yeah, it's kind of weird, I think, calling it the New York City police dance team makes it sound like it's like the police dance team Exactly.
Speaker 5:And nowadays you can totally see that being a thing. I mean, I can Sure With the PR pushes they have nowadays they have a bunch of different teams that they do put out there. They have the shooting team and some other stuff. They list some of them in the article. Of course that makes sense. Those make sense. I think they have a lifting team the band. Oh yeah, they have a band Right.
Speaker 1:Like they have, like they do that kind of stuff.
Speaker 5:They've got a band that's on duty. They got to do it in their funeral processions and shit like that. They got to have their band, bro, the marching band with the backpipes. You're telling me.
Speaker 5:You're telling me that the police department has to fund that. You can't just find somebody. I'm sure it's good with a bagpipe or to stand it, because these exist. They have a trumpet with an audio device that you plug in those are so lame bro, it's not authentic. Don't have that at my funeral, bitch, it's going to be Jeremy and I playing the backpipes. Jeremy's microphone. He won't let it happen, and this is all we're going to do.
Speaker 1:We're actually just going to play that part that you just say.
Speaker 4:Right at your gravesite. We're going to have a bed and we're going to soak. That's cool, you would who? You two? Yes, those two. And Joslyn has to jump on the bed.
Speaker 6:Yes, I'm the jumper, yeah.
Speaker 5:She's the jumper. I would like that. I would like that.
Speaker 3:You fucking would like that. I would like that that sounded like you were getting into necrophilia.
Speaker 5:No, I'm moving in the box next to him. It looks like you guys will open up the caskets.
Speaker 4:We'll pop them up, we'll pop them up, we'll pop them up, we'll crawl in.
Speaker 5:Bro, I will be looking up at you guys from hell and I will say thank you, thank you for honoring my life. Bro, why does your funeral get to be so dope? Because I'm fucking planning it right now. Yeah, you got a casket lined with coke. You guys probably didn't hear this episode. We talked about this on an episode.
Speaker 6:We planned Jake's funeral. We planned my funeral. That's one of our favorite episodes.
Speaker 5:Yeah, they planned on. They're going to do a coffin dance, with me Transporting from one place to another. They're going to fill my coffin with cocaine I thought at first. And money, how did you? But? It turns out they're going to drop my ass, it's going to spill open and it's going to be a bunch of powdered sugar and fake ass, monopoly money. And.
Speaker 5:Jeremy's going to think it's real though, because we were part of this portion of it and his foot really hurt him at the time, and so he said Jeremy's going to be down there snorting the lines trying to make his foot feel better. Do you remember this?
Speaker 4:Yes, dude, I'm going to get high as shit on that powdered sugar. Whatever you're going to get fucking diabetes bitch. Worth it, worth it, worth it.
Speaker 5:And remember it was going to be confectioners' sugar. Yes, you fuck her.
Speaker 1:That shit's going to cake Like bro I'm going to plug that, bro.
Speaker 5:Bro, it's going to get all over my body, dude. He's going to get one or two lines and then he's done. He's like I can't breathe. It's going to crystallize. It's like, Jeremy, we're at a cop funeral. You can't breathe. Everybody knows that. Ok, Thanks for fucking pushing the line, bro.
Speaker 4:Wear the shirt. How it turns out is I can't breath. I can't breath. I'm going to lose the foot to diabetes. He's going to lose one to gout.
Speaker 5:Yes, You're going to be two feet and he'll be on the dance team. Yeah, what do you want to do, please? Dance team, just one hand over each other's shoulders, just fucking dance.
Speaker 4:Doing the can, can't have no foot, I just want my foot, so it'll be wrong.
Speaker 5:I just want to know how much of this shenanigans will go down before your dad fucking murders both of us. Then you can join me. Either your dad or your mom Join me. One of them will murder us before we want to die after they die, come on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was like so you're planning to die before your parents?
Speaker 5:I never know You're going to live a hard life.
Speaker 4:Your dad's probably going to live forever, so we haven't even gotten to the meat here, not even the meat taters.
Speaker 5:Oh shit, I'll just pick the best parts for all the stuff we've talked so far, and it'll be cut down a bunch. So all of this is the best part We'll just cut Fitz out completely Everything Fitz said.
Speaker 6:just cut it down. We'll cut 37% of it.
Speaker 5:Fitz was introduced at the beginning, but we didn't hear him until the outro, he's like we really found out lately that Fitz doesn't speak in full sentences. He's getting cut like a third of the way through. He's not talking anymore.
Speaker 1:He's the posh spice. You're a part of the group, but you don't ever do shit.
Speaker 6:We heard him at the intro, the outro and what I'm guessing she's probably gonna
Speaker 4:sing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's pretty David.
Speaker 4:Beckham's wife? Oh, I don't know if she is. She's the stake and they're the sizzle.
Speaker 6:I have a story. This comes from Florida.
Speaker 5:Yes, yeah, why wouldn't it be? I love Florida. I love Florida.
Speaker 6:This Florida man. It's in Miami. He impersonated a police officer and gets arrested when he calls for backup. What that's awesome he pulled over. He pulled someone over who he said was driving recklessly and he had a fake badge and he had a fake uniform and he called 911 for backup for this crazy person who was driving erratically and was immediately arrested when the police that he called arrived to the scene.
Speaker 1:That's fantastic. Hold on.
Speaker 4:So like it was a fake uniform, like it said Hogwarts police or, like it said, like a Halloween costume, it was like a real tight dress, like a stripper. A mini-stripper a very revealing cleavage.
Speaker 5:His chest hairs were sticking out.
Speaker 4:You had the hamburger meat hanging, is that?
Speaker 5:a picture, yes, Does it look like a legit uniform?
Speaker 6:Well, they don't have a, it's just his mug.
Speaker 5:They stripped him of his uniform. Where?
Speaker 6:they put him in jail. It's Devonte Thompson of Miami. What is that?
Speaker 4:I wonder what his badge said. Post-it patrol. Did it melt? Was it mint chocolate Melted? Chocolate.
Speaker 5:He's like it was a sticker badge. A sticker badge? Did he go from the police?
Speaker 1:department. He went from the police department Like Junior Sheriff. I thought I was deputized Mama's little helper when my ex was in the police academy. One of his fellow cadets was removed after impersonating an officer. He had like a light bar that he put on his car and did kind of a similar thing, and he did this while he's in the academy or something. Yeah, oh my gosh, they called him light bar the light.
Speaker 5:bar the light bar.
Speaker 1:Because he eventually he has. I don't know who it was, but his parents were like someone important and so they eventually like let him back in. I don't know if he was able to like get a job afterwards, right, but like he was able to at least finish and so he had.
Speaker 4:So like someone's trying to pull me over in a Ford Fiesta.
Speaker 1:Yeah, essentially yeah. Yeah, some young kid like not An idiot, you always have one dude I swear Right, for sure, I mean.
Speaker 5:At least one.
Speaker 4:Well, we talked about this like nowadays. It seems like he used to have always won. Now it's like five or six, oh for sure, yeah, if not more, you know.
Speaker 5:Like the kid who turned the dog's head into a canoe. Oh yeah, he did. You heard about that. Oh yeah yeah, what are you freaking? Yeah yeah, I saw.
Speaker 1:I did, Channeling my interference yeah.
Speaker 4:I'm from Holland bro, this is definitely weird.
Speaker 5:Is it that weird? Do you like my later hosans Faja?
Speaker 4:To help me with my rope sack. Fucking gold finger over here, fritz, you fucking gold finger over here.
Speaker 5:Is it gold finger? He's eating his own skin Gross. Did I tell you about the Russian lady down at the shelter? Oh, she kept her own scabs.
Speaker 6:Oh, you told me that, I told you that. You told me that shit, that fucking nasty.
Speaker 5:It's a gold member. Yeah, a gold member, I'm going to tell you that shit. Stepmom fucking gross. What did she do? She did this big gallon Ziploc baggie that she would keep her scabs in. So we stop her one day. Human Carpaccio, hold on. You've got to understand the reason why this happens. Maybe he'll explain it, but there's a reason. I don't remember the reason.
Speaker 1:Okay, Reason why she keeps her scabs. Yes, you know right, I know why. You know what. Do you know why? Nutritional value.
Speaker 5:So what happens is you get these drug heads that do lots of drugs and they typically where they shoot up is where they form these scabs.
Speaker 1:For sure.
Speaker 5:In that concentration of scab they have got a lot of drug, Drug gas.
Speaker 4:So what they?
Speaker 5:do is they pick the scab and they save it and they pop it in there and it gives them a little bit of a high. We stopped this Russian lady who has this big ass Ziploc baggie and she was peeling. While we're talking to her, she's peeling her scabs and I'm just like grossed out, like what the fuck is happening. And she's holding a scab with one hand and she reaches into her bag, grabs out the Ziploc baggie, opens it and puts it in and I'm staring at it like that is a and it was like a good third of it was filled with scabs.
Speaker 4:Did you test it and weigh it? 600 grams of scabs. 600 grams of scabs the biggest scab bust in state history.
Speaker 1:Post it on the socials. What we just found.
Speaker 4:So the reason it is is because when they shoot up, if you don't hit a vein, then all that shit will just get there. And so then it forms a scab and they're just like, yeah, it's good.
Speaker 3:So fucking gross so there I used to work with a nurse and she was definitely not a drug addict, but she was big, big girl. She was like 400 pounds, maybe five foot two.
Speaker 4:What's her name? Anastasia.
Speaker 3:No, but she used to go. She used to. She was on night shift and her legs were always like scabbed and she would go and pick her scabs and eat them at work. And then she would just be bleeding everywhere and she worked in the nursery like the newborn nursery. And so after people finally caught her, she got fired because it's like very very un-sempitiary Super enteritary. Yeah, disgusting.
Speaker 4:Your baby comes, like Simba, with a red mark. I didn't order the Lion King special lady, damn she's like you're watching through the window and she's holding up the baby. She just goes on her leg, eat his time and then, before she gives it to you, she looks it up. Oh gross.
Speaker 5:I would shoot her in the face as soon as she puts my baby down. She's getting the fuck away from the baby. You think she's a zombie or something?
Speaker 4:Yes, she tried to eat my baby.
Speaker 6:That's pretty disgusting. She's trying to eat my baby.
Speaker 5:That's disgusting. What would be awesome? She's like yes, send us your intro music and we'll just kick in the intro music. Bet. Who was that? Mike Ford, Fucking bet.
Speaker 4:Ladies and gentlemen, the center is in St St St. Yes, okay.
Speaker 1:So this case is coming from England in the 90s. We're going to head back a little bit and across the pond. So described as a bubbly girl with an old soul. Kellyanne Bates was born May 18th 1978, to parents Margaret and Tommy Bates in Manchester, England. She was a middle child of three and the only girl. She was close to her parents, spunky, fun to be around and athletic. So athletic and confident that when she was 13, she decided she wanted to play on the local hockey team. So she tried out and made it Now playing hockey with a team of fully grown women. She was in school and also had a part-time job at a graphics firm while working towards her dream of becoming a teacher.
Speaker 1:In 1992, at age 14, Kelly was babysitting for friends when she met Dave Smith Now Dave immediately took a liking to Kelly, even walking her home so that she got home safe. Soon Kelly and Dave were an item and Kelly told her parents about Dave and that he was her boyfriend. They didn't ask much about him, assuming that he was just a boy from school. But it did not take long for Kelly's behavior to begin to shift. The normally reliable girl began sneaking out, staying out well past curfew, sometimes not even coming home. Kelly would, of course, tell her parents that she was staying the night at a friend's house. But Margaret Kelly's mom said quote I know she was lying, it wasn't like her, but I had no idea what was going on. This really began to worry Margaret and Tommy, and while this could be very normal for her age, just dabbling in the normal rebellion of a teenager, Tommy and Margaret also knew that their daughter Kelly was a bit naive and not street smart.
Speaker 1:Now, even if the Bates thought that Dan may have something to do with this behavior, when Dan began to call the house wanting to talk with Margaret and Kelly, asking things like where Kelly was, was she okay, had she come home, this helped to ease their minds. Here was a boy who really cared about Kelly, wanting the best for her and making sure she was home and safe. You see, Dan would take Kelly to the train station, he would send her on the train and then the second she walked in the house he would call to make sure she was home. He had timed the trip down to the exact minute. The couple would fight and break up. Often Margaret would tell Kelly that she deserved better, but Dan would sweet, talk her back into the relationship every time. After one particularly big breakup, Kelly stopped all contact with Dan, wanting to call it quits for good. But Dan took to stalking Kelly until she took him back One day. That's the best way to get someone.
Speaker 5:That's what you're supposed to do. That's right, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's love, right.
Speaker 5:Nice, all right.
Speaker 1:So Dan's stalking techniques worked, and Kelly does take him back. Now, one day, kelly comes home with a black eye, stating that she'd been jumped by a gang of girls. Kelly and Dave would continue to date for two years before Kelly brought him home to meet her parents.
Speaker 3:They've been dating for two years and the parents are like okay with that, yeah, where are her parents? They're not knowing this kid at all.
Speaker 5:They never met this kid.
Speaker 3:No no.
Speaker 1:He would just call the house, he would just call the house.
Speaker 5:He would just call the house.
Speaker 1:So they'd heard from him, but they'd never met him. They just assumed it was some boyfriend or whatever.
Speaker 3:This is like a 14 year old go hang out with some guy who never met. This is a cultural thing, I mean it's in England.
Speaker 5:I know how are they. This is 1991 again 1992. Sorry, 82?, 92.
Speaker 1:It's a little bit different because, as we learn in here, once you hit 16 in the UK, you're legally able to be in a partnership outside of the home.
Speaker 4:That's why the fucking empire fell. The police can't like. You can do that here. I mean, you can do that here, if you're emancipated, you can.
Speaker 1:Right If you're emancipated, but now you can't just like they don't need to be emancipated.
Speaker 5:They can just bow down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, They'll just be like okay, I'm leaving and there's like nothing that parents can do.
Speaker 4:Usually when you think of the English you're like a little bit more prim and proper, a little bit more reserved, a little bit more so you think the dating that would translate to we're going to meet him and meet his parents right For sure. Yeah, courtship.
Speaker 5:Courtship, as it were. You'd think something like that, right, yeah, no, apparently not in this instance. Parents don't care, nope, maybe they're just taking it slow. Two years, slow, yeah, two years slow.
Speaker 1:So Margaret states that Kelly brought Dan home one day while she was out. She says, quote as I walked in he swaggered down the stairs and it made the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. He was much older than I expected and looked a bit like John Denver, but he was smarmy. He said nice to meet you all at last. And all I could think of was how I wanted to get rid of him. This wasn't the man I wanted for my daughter. I vividly recall seeing a bread knife in the kitchen and wanting to pick it up and stab him in the back. Damn, I've thought about that many times. It was a bizarre thought. I would never normally think of anything so violent, and now I wonder whether it was some sort of sixth sense.
Speaker 3:She just got bad vibes from this dude immediately.
Speaker 1:So it was obvious she called him smarmy. Yeah, smarmy, it's British, it's mommy.
Speaker 5:Okay, what does smarmy mean?
Speaker 4:I don't know, kind of like smug. Yeah, like smug.
Speaker 5:So why ask? Because I just want to know if you fucking do this shit. It says here this is once again the Britannica, so I don't know if you trust it or not. I do Ingratiating and weedling in a way that is perceived as insincere or excessive.
Speaker 6:Yeah, it's like a brown-noser kind of thing. Yeah kind of like a brown-noser.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, just like ugh, A little like weedling bro. Weeding that's a good word, Like weedling which.
Speaker 1:I mean, you really figure out, why he was probably doing that. But it was obvious that Dave was much, much older than Kelly. Kelly tells her parents that he's 32. Holy shit, 32 and she's 14 when she met him 14, bro.
Speaker 4:So how old is she at this instance, when 16. So she was 14 and he was 30.
Speaker 6:14 and 30. Told you it was probably a 40-year-old dude that is a good flag or two that's grooming.
Speaker 1:A little bit Grooming yeah.
Speaker 5:He stayed away for two years until she became 16. Mm-hmm, yeah, and he's like, oh, she's 16 now.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Free game. Yeah, perfectly Legal, legal.
Speaker 1:And so I don't know if anyone knew this Dave Smith guy. But no one had ever heard of him, and this was because his name was not Dave Smith, it was James Patterson Smith and he was not 32, but 48.
Speaker 4:Damn. I was going to say Dave Smith, like that's very generic yeah.
Speaker 1:Bro, One year older than Kelly's own father.
Speaker 5:One year older than her dad. He's like, bro, maybe she's got a daddy thing.
Speaker 4:No, obviously. I remember you went to primary school, mike. He was kind of a twat, wasn't you? It's a problem, isn't it? Probably knew him. They're classmates. Well, not really because he's one year older. Yeah, schoolmates, schoolmates.
Speaker 1:So while Margaret and Tommy had their suspicions about James, and for good reason, they had no idea who they and Kelly were dealing with, aside from a creepy ass pedophile. So James Patterson Smith was born in 1948. There isn't much that can be found about his childhood, but in 1970, at age 22, he was married to an unnamed woman, and I don't mean that she just didn't have a name, I just mean no one knows who she is. Thanks for the clarification. She did have a name.
Speaker 5:So mom and dad just didn't put a name on that birth certificate and she lived as the no named woman At the wedding.
Speaker 4:they're like James, do you take the no named woman as your wife? That's the unnamed woman.
Speaker 1:She apparently doesn't want anyone to know who the hell she is. My name is nobody.
Speaker 5:She's like I want to be a guy Great.
Speaker 1:Western, by the way he's fucking gay Great Western.
Speaker 1:She was married for 10 years and during those years his first wife was subjected to horrific violence that took a decade to escape, but eventually she did Soon. After the divorce, james began dating 20 year old Tina Watson. Tina stated that James used her as a punching bag, even when she was pregnant with her child. She said quote at first it was now and again just a little tap, but in the end it was every day. He would smack me in the face or hit me over the head with a nash tray. He would kick me in the legs or between the legs. In the end she was also able to escape, but not after an attempt at drowning, while she was soaking in the tub, still pregnant with their child.
Speaker 5:Can you relate?
Speaker 1:Motherfucker.
Speaker 4:I knew it, I fucking knew it.
Speaker 5:She's like that actually wasn't part of the story, that just added it for this.
Speaker 4:It's not how they say, like she's like just a tap, just a tap, just a tap, just a little tap here Downplaying it. Oh for sure it's a little tap.
Speaker 1:When it happens to you, it's a lot less like that, like it's a lot less right.
Speaker 6:Can I rationalize it?
Speaker 1:If you, if your friend or someone else you knew was having that happen to them, it's like so horrific. But if it's you, it's like well, it's not that bad, it's not that big of a deal.
Speaker 5:So it's interesting. This is something that we deal with quite often, right, the Mr Balance Police Department In the police department, in the police department, yeah, between each other.
Speaker 1:Well, that too, that too.
Speaker 5:But I meant more like as police officers.
Speaker 4:Yes, that's one of the more.
Speaker 5:Am I going to be so fucking grammatically accurate? Or out here these guys are fucking. We proved that right. Are you trying to rub the salt in your own wound, bitch? No.
Speaker 4:Okay, shut the fuck up. So that's like guaranteed, like a shift, you're going to get a DV.
Speaker 5:You're going to go on a DV.
Speaker 4:Oh, for sure.
Speaker 5:And how many times is the story this has happened before. And how many times do you go to this person and say listen, if you don't get out of the situation right now, it's going to escalate to the point where there's going to be a breaking point where you're going to finally leave, or which I wish happened more often or it's going to come so bad that they're going to get locked away forever. Hopefully that's the end goal on that one. Are they end result on that one? Or they're going to kill you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what it comes down to. And it's hard, though, like the whole cycle of of like domestic violence.
Speaker 5:It's called the honeymoon cycle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean you it's, you know, and when you're like inside of it, it's just, I think it's such a different experience. It's like not quite as easy as you on the outside looking in would think it is.
Speaker 5:And it's really sad. You outside, you outside, you outside are objective. Yeah, you're objective, for sure. Yeah, you outside are objective, connected to it, right? Yeah, but you on the inside are subject, so you have feelings and emotions and memories and stuff that are tied, that like kind of keep you there. Oh, for sure.
Speaker 4:Cause you always were like, well, he's a really good guy. It's just every you know a couple months he just gets really stressed out and but in, and guys chime in here, but in almost you know 15, 16 years of law enforcement, I've never been on a DV where it was the first time. No, it's never been where it's like this is actually the first time this has ever happened. It's always been like A history of it building up to it and then I guarantee you like by the time we get a call that may be the first time they're reporting it.
Speaker 4:But they're always like well, you know, I never reported it the first couple of times because I didn't think it was going to happen. And I want to sit there and be like after the second time that's two times too many, but like, why not the second time? Why do we have to come when he's strangled you and you know?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's sad, and especially like in this situation where there was grooming that went on, so like you have a child and a grown man who's you know being able to use a lot of other things to kind of lure her in.
Speaker 5:That's something that's actually so, it's classified. So you say pedophilia. Right, it's a little different. The term for that, when you have somebody who's of the age when they get into their teenage years and then you start grooming them and utilizing them and manipulating them, it's actually called. The person who commits this atrocity is called a pedorast. So the pedorast have a goal of grooming this individual to become basically like their slave. Yeah for sure, and they'll do whatever the hell they want because they've groomed them from that age and it's almost like indoctrination and a brainwash.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, 100% yeah, and it just like you said, like at Escalade. So it starts as, like you know, she was living at home and she was just like you know. Then she eventually moves in and then like there's no contact and it just like just goes from little by little, yep. And you don't realize that as you're in it.
Speaker 5:Nope, you don't slippery slope at that age. You can't know. That's why these people prey upon those individuals are so young? Yeah, you manipulate them so easy.
Speaker 1:You can manipulate a full grown adult into that kind of a same you know scenario and you take a child who's not even like has no life experience. Yeah, and barely just got hormones can like barely understand their own body. You know Exactly. Yeah, that's pretty.
Speaker 4:So there's actually terms younger than 11 is pedophilic. Attracted to children age 11 to 14 is heba philic and then to both is pedohibophilic. So they actually have different terms for the different age groups, like you were saying but, yeah, so the pedophile usually denotes younger kids, but he's more of a heba phil.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, isn't it weird like how you have all those movements, or at least people are trying to make that like a sexual orientation?
Speaker 5:Yeah, Completely normal. Oh yeah, they're trying now hard. They're trying hard for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:They're just. What is it like? Sexually attracted to minors, or what? No, yeah.
Speaker 5:So there are places California who are changing that you can't call a pedophile pedophile. They're changing on the books where you know you can't call them that you have to call them a minor attracted individual, because pedophile has a negative connotation. It's like bitch it is fucking negative I think so. Yeah, call it what it is man.
Speaker 4:You get like a lot of the different groups, whether you know the LGBTQ community, most of them reject these people. Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1:They don't want you to be associated. Oh yeah, I mean like normal Normal yeah, normal gay people yeah.
Speaker 4:But there is that and I think it's like the vocal minority and they're like no. We need to understand that. This is just who they are?
Speaker 5:Yeah, they're in my mind.
Speaker 4:And what and what instance is like man, you know, if it like I just hate somebody of a different race because they're different than me. Like dude, you're racist. No, I just, I'm just a person who hates brown people. That's how I am Like, no other way. Is that accepted? Yeah?
Speaker 4:You know like hey, I just got a stab bank tellers in the face. You know, that's just who I am. It's like, no, you're a murderer. Yeah, you're going to get put in jail, but we're making exceptions. And the hard part is social media. These people are prevalent on social media and then they're influencing younger generations. Oh my gosh, I wouldn't be surprised if in like 20, 30 years, you see like five to 10 years? Yeah, maybe, and so I'm a protected person because I like little kids and that's okay.
Speaker 5:That's just who I am Sorry to derail this, but have you guys seen the story of the dude who's like a fucking 50 year old guy who identifies as a five year old little girl? Yeah, sounds amazing. And these two people have like adopted him and they treat him like this little kid. It's yeah.
Speaker 1:That is creepy.
Speaker 4:And we've had groups forever. Nambla, you heard of Nambla?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 4:The North American.
Speaker 1:Man Boy Love.
Speaker 4:Association and these people have been around, but I don't know, I think a little uh trying to gain too much, sett it.
Speaker 5:Well, we just need to find a rich backer. Yeah, agree, someone that's got money.
Speaker 1:The ones that have money are the ones who are doing all like all the little kids yeah we've got to go.
Speaker 5:There's some, there's some rich people out there that think alike like us, maybe a couple. I think Elon Musk would fund it. Oh, you would fund it. You'd post that shit all over X too. I got another one. We're at 67 this week. They're like 67 what. Don't fucking worry about it. We're on track to beat last week's record, though.
Speaker 4:He would supply us with the shit too. You know, he has that side company. Which one? No, there's one that invents, and they invented a. They had a flamethrower.
Speaker 1:The boring company. Oh yeah, the boring company. The boring company. Frame flamethrower.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, so they invented a flamethrower. I think it was called like the boring company, you actually buy it.
Speaker 5:Oh, it's called the boring company. Yeah absolutely, but not like boring as in, but like they were actually. He started that portion because he was going to make a tunnel. In fact, they started this tunnel from LA to somewhere. Oh, yeah, so you can get rid of all the traffic. It's like magnetic cars and flying through these tunnels. But that's kind of what it started out. But it's got some branches out and they did make a flamethrower and it's legit. You could buy some. I think they made like a thousand of them.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you can buy them, and so wouldn't it be nice just to get a group of pedophiles with flamethrowers and be like we need roasting time.
Speaker 5:Put them in that tunnel. We told that story down there in Florida where they got that community where it's just nothing but these, oh have you heard about that?
Speaker 4:These child. So there's a community in Florida because of all the laws where, hey, if you're a convicted sex offender, you can't live so close to here, here, here.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Well, they've gone off in the swamps. They've gone off in the swamps and there's a community and they're all convicted sex offenders, and there's just a community of them and they live openly and if you lived in that area as a cop we talked about this.
Speaker 5:If you, if you're a cop in that area, that's the first place you're searching for a missing kid.
Speaker 4:Oh for sure. Or even if you get like, hey, there's a shots fired over there, I'll be there in like an hour. I'm gonna break first. I just got three flat tires on my car. I'm gonna be a minute, sorry.
Speaker 5:You're riding a motorcycle, Fitz. How'd you get three flat tires? Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I'll be a motor Never seen ever.
Speaker 3:Never Try it twice. No, no lie.
Speaker 1:So there is an episode in another podcast called Red Handed, and they're from, like the UK and it's on a guy named Richard Huckle and he is known as the gap year pedophile and he's serving a life sentence for carrying out a nine year long systematic campaign of abuse against some of the world's poorest children, and it's a very, very interesting case. He documented all of his atrocities on the dark web, authored a how to guide for pedophiles and contributed to one of the largest networks ever discovered.
Speaker 5:See, like those are the people that should just get murdered.
Speaker 1:It was in October of 2019. In Florida, they are now Well. He was in prison and in 2019 he was discovered after he'd been subjected to 89 minutes of torture before being strangled to death by another inmate.
Speaker 4:We had that Russian dad. I feel like that's the size of the week. There was a story a long time ago but this Russian dad, this one of this neighbor guy like, lusted his son for a while and then so he found him and made him dig his own grave and then stabbed him a bunch, and the Russian government 30 something times Rolled it a suicide.
Speaker 5:The Russian government came in real good of suicide. Yeah. Like, stabbed himself to death 37 times or that or that prison inmate who the dude was like, gloating about all the sex you know with the kid molestations he had done.
Speaker 4:And he told them they guys like stop talking about it he kept gloating about it.
Speaker 5:He fucking killed his ass he killed two people. He killed two inmates. What was it to?
Speaker 4:Yeah. And he went to the judge and he's like, yeah, we're talking about he and his shit. I told them the move and they didn't, so I killed them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what do I have to lose?
Speaker 5:Yeah, Okay, all right Back to it. Sorry, that was a tangent.
Speaker 1:All right. So that last relationship lasted for two years, ending in 1982. Once that one was over, he began to date. 15 year old Wendy Mottor said as you can see each victim becomes younger and younger as time goes on, as he gets older and older, and he is so ugly Like he's not even like.
Speaker 4:When you said, when you said John Denver, I'm like, yeah, right.
Speaker 1:He's not even like as quote unquote, good looking, as you would say, john Denver may or may not be, he's just. I look at him and I'm like what, even as a child I don't care how old you are, cool, you think you are like you're gross. I feel like as a child, you like pay more attention to that you know than you do as you get older, you're way more shallow yeah Like gross.
Speaker 5:I need to see a picture of this piece of shit now, yeah.
Speaker 1:James Patterson Smith. He's, he's gross. This relationship went as all the others horrific abuse and an attempt at drowning when they were arguing in the kitchen and he held her head under the water in the sink. So James had a history of severe domestic abuse and attempted murders but had never been involved with the police. So on paper he looked squeaky clean Now, at the time Kelly was with Smith. He was unemployed and considered a quote house proud, well groomed divorcee, a tea totaler and non smoker Tea totaler.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's a non.
Speaker 1:That's a non drinker, but that's what they claim.
Speaker 5:Tea totaler, non drinker, I'm so glad that we're not a part of them.
Speaker 1:Tea totaler.
Speaker 5:Is that him?
Speaker 1:That. So it's yeah. See that picture. I don't know.
Speaker 6:Who the fuck is that the?
Speaker 1:glasses. Yeah, it's that guy over there. I don't think that's him. I think that that is actually another. Yeah, that's him right there. The other one, I think, is a different.
Speaker 5:What shut the fuck up?
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's him. He looks like a white man, he looks like a pedophile. Yeah, he's gross.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 5:He's got a white panel van.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and a bag full of candy Ew.
Speaker 3:What part of your 14 year old mind.
Speaker 1:The other one you were looking at is another British prisoner.
Speaker 4:I wonder if at 14 she sees him as an older guy, it's like kind of dangerous but kind of cool, because he can, you know, buy shit that other 14 year olds can't. Maybe he probably has a little bit more, even though he's having a job.
Speaker 1:I don't even know how he lived, because he was said he was unemployed. So I don't know how he had a house. I don't know how he paid for shit, Like I don't know what he did. I mean he had to get money somewhere.
Speaker 5:He's a grifter.
Speaker 1:Pretty socialist one.
Speaker 6:Probably a grift.
Speaker 4:But again, like I wonder, if it was that you know he's older, he can probably buy some, some ales. Um, he was a T. Well, even though he didn't, he may have bought them for her. Maybe that's true.
Speaker 5:Yeah, either way.
Speaker 1:He's gross. Yeah, he's so gross.
Speaker 4:Would you rather? Would you rather what Play him through or ball peen hammer that? Choose both Absolutely In this game again.
Speaker 1:So once Kelly had brought James home to meet her parents, she began to spend more and more time at his home, often gone for days at a time without contacting her family. And in December of 1995, kelly fully moved in to Smith's home, effectively quitting her part-time job and living solely under his thumb and during the worst torture you can imagine. On the rare occasion that Kelly would come home to visit, her parents noticed that she had began to lose weight. She had stopped bathing and grooming and was often covered in bruises. One night Kelly came home and her entire face was black and blue and she had a definite infected bite mark on her hand. Kelly's parents confronted her about the suspected abuse, but she denied it, refusing to admit the obvious or to leave him always having an answer as to what happened.
Speaker 5:How do you explain a bite mark on your hand?
Speaker 1:She tried to say that she like fell. Yeah, essentially like she fell.
Speaker 5:It's a bite. I see the teeth bitch. I've had bite marks on my freaking arm before it does not look like a fall.
Speaker 1:How a lot of people get convicted of murders.
Speaker 4:They're bite marks though it's legit, it's infected because British people have notoriously bad teeth.
Speaker 1:Mals are just dirty.
Speaker 5:That's why they couldn't tell if it was a dog or a person.
Speaker 1:It's a dog bite.
Speaker 4:But even we take a casting of this they're like for what? We're not going to find dental.
Speaker 5:We're literally coming in an entire country right now. Come get us 1776. Come after Mexico. We've come after Canada, now we're going after.
Speaker 4:Britain. Good luck, I know she's an adult Come and take it. She's under British law but like I would just kidnap my own kid, right, I know.
Speaker 1:I think, and I know I don't know, the parents were like well, we just didn't, you know, we're afraid if we did too much, like then we would never see her again. So they were like tap dancing around this.
Speaker 4:But I didn't think about it. I know you're never seeing her again.
Speaker 1:I have a 13, almost 14 year old daughter, and if she ever was like I had a boyfriend and then it was like something that went on for longer than a couple of months I'd be like, well, who is this person? I need to see them Show me a picture. And then, as soon as I found out, it was a full ass, grown man.
Speaker 5:I would be like you're not leaving the house If, for some reason, my daughter came home and I knew that she was out with a boy or a man or who the fuck ever I don't care how old she is and she had bruises on her the guy's dead. Raise your blades and let me kiss the guy's fucked.
Speaker 1:Yes, the guy's dead, absolutely.
Speaker 5:Raise your blades and slappy hands. Yeah and slappy hands. That was another good episode, hell yeah.
Speaker 4:That's one of those calls you're like, hey, we're gonna do some illegal shit, you can't ask me about it. Yes, who's the car we taking? Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:It's one of my favorite movies.
Speaker 4:You know, it's a good movie.
Speaker 5:We're gonna stop and we're gonna have some fun.
Speaker 4:But even then I would be mad if you didn't.
Speaker 5:Oh yeah.
Speaker 4:We're going. But let's say this is American, she's 18. I'm still taking her. Oh yeah, oh for sure, 100%.
Speaker 5:I'm telling you, it doesn't matter what age she is.
Speaker 4:I'm gonna Liam Neesons, her and we're gone. Yes.
Speaker 1:Yes. Absolutely. Yeah, it's 100%.
Speaker 5:Yeah, it's not intervening at this point in time. I don't know, man Right. You guys are showing your masculine toxic. I don't give a fuck no-transcript. That's okay, I approve of it I approve.
Speaker 4:I believe we also have two moms over here who said they would do the same shit, so let's not mask it.
Speaker 5:Yeah, but they're women, we're not going to come in. Three moms, three moms.
Speaker 1:At this time Margaret did try calling social services and the police, but like I said at the time in the UK, at 16, Kelly was legally old enough to engage in a partnership outside of the home and without a statement from Kelly they couldn't do anything to stop her from going back. They suggested that Margaret make an appointment with Kelly's regular doctor, Tell him everything that's going on. That way, if Kelly shows up, it's already done, she's documented, and then from there the police can intervene.
Speaker 4:What, but how, if she's not admitting that he's doing it? The?
Speaker 1:doctor, I think would have to call and report like a suspected, whatever. Okay.
Speaker 5:Okay, okay, this is interesting. This is interesting. This is, you know, a while ago, in the nineties, right? Not a lot has changed a little. But I'm asking these cops here with me, right, I was going to pick some brains. So, let's say, you go on a call and you find this girl who's you know, an adult, let's say, and she's got bruises all over her family, she's been the shit kicking out of her by her boyfriend, husband, whatever the fuck. What do you do?
Speaker 4:You have to ask her hey, did this happen? She's like Nope, it didn't happen. Okay, there's nothing I can do.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 4:What can you do? And so I, and again, British law.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I don't know if it was different because technically she wasn't like she was still a minor, but she was like. Legally they have like steps of like, you know, 14, they're allowed to do this and this, like they can go into a bar but they can't drink at 16. They can go to bar and drink and have like relationship, and then 18 is when they're actually no longer a minor. So I don't know if it was different because she was still technically a minor.
Speaker 5:No, I'm going to ask this question. Did it say anything about the cops going and talking to him about this? No, okay, that's a problem because, honestly, that's what we would do. Right, we're going to interview her. She's like no, it never happened. You're going to separate her from him and you're going to talk to his ass. Yeah for sure, explain what the hell's going on here, and it doesn't like not some pateco here. You're going to try to investigate as much as you possibly can to find out what's really going on. Yeah, cause it's obvious what's going on.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah, so you're going to do what you can I even hear?
Speaker 4:the parents knew it and it sounded like whatever social services they contact like we understand, but you have to do this or this. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So one time Margaret and Tommy decide to go over to Kelly and James's home and they go to visit. Smith invites them in. The couple comes in. Kelly sits quietly, keeps her eyes to the floor, but before leaving Smith takes them over and shows them a hole that he has in the floor boards where he stated that he had a gas leak, but later the baits realized that this was actually where he kept Kelly during the weeks of torture leading up to her death.
Speaker 5:What? Oh my God. I'm sorry there's so many fucking red flags here, I don't even know what to say that dad has actually failed. Before they leave, he takes them over to a hole in the floor boards. Guys, check out this hole. I've got from a gas leak. Pretty crazy right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what the fuck. How creepy is that? Yeah, and why would you show them? He gets off on like showing them some creepy ass shit you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5:Like like me and mine, my ilk. We don't have to worry about this. We're using your gas hole for your fucking body.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah, you're done, until someone finds you. Yeah, you're done.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So eventually Margaret and Tommy stopped seeing their daughter all together. Margaret remembers receiving cards from Kelly from different holidays, but they were always in Smith's handwriting. In March 1996, margaret does call Kelly and is able to get ahold of her to ask her why she had missed a dentist appointment. They got into a bit of an argument but Kelly reassured her mother that she would make another appointment and that the following weekend, which was Mother's Day, that she would be there. But that was the last conversation that they would have. The following Sunday Kelly never showed. Only a card was sent, once again in Smith's handwriting. The weekend after the same thing happened and this weekend was her dad's birthday and her parents anniversary. And when they heard nothing from Kelly, margaret said she knew something was wrong. Margaret said quote I could have never imagined what was happening. I wish we'd done more. Not a day goes by when we don't think that. But he had her in his clutches and we couldn't save her.
Speaker 3:How do you not imagine what's happening when he's literally showing you? I mean, you don't know exactly what's happening.
Speaker 1:You know what's happening. You know some shit's not okay.
Speaker 5:You know what's happening.
Speaker 1:The mom and dad are involved.
Speaker 5:They're involved, absolutely. What they're doing is they're not taking ownership of what's going on.
Speaker 5:They're not and it's unfortunate and it's a hard thing to do. Like they said, they don't want to lose their daughter forever. Okay, but that sucks. But guess what? If you don't take action, as something like this, you're like you said you're going to lose the daughter forever. If you don't take action, you're done. If you piss her off because you took action, so be it. If she drives herself away, so be it. But if you see this evidence on her, at least she knows that you're trying to fucking protect her ass.
Speaker 4:They've already lost her because she's missing, she's not coming over, she's not talking. They've already lost her in a sense right and so, even if I intervened and I got her out of that, but she hated me, never talked to me again, but she was alive and went on to live like a normal life.
Speaker 5:Okay, that's a win, I'm thinking to myself yeah, exactly. Also, if if the daughter sees that the mom and dad are so willing to like no, you're not taking our daughter, she's staying with us Maybe she changes her fucking tune with wanting to be with this guy, knowing the mom and dad are going to protect her ass.
Speaker 1:Well, and getting her out of the situation to where she can clear her mind and not be like continually being brainwashed by him and what he's saying and whatnot. You know, she might be mad at first but then I think after a while she would be grateful that they saved her because she, you know, was being horrifically abused. And I think, at the end of the day she would have been grateful.
Speaker 4:She kept them a fucking hole in the ground.
Speaker 3:Did I say what her family life was like before. It sounded pretty normal.
Speaker 4:She played sports and she had a good sense of humor and she was reliable.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just like bubbly fun, like good kid reliable.
Speaker 3:It just seems to me like something is off, because I feel like kids, even at 14, if you're that bubbly and your life is so great, you're not looking to a 45 year old man for something else.
Speaker 1:I mean, she met him and it wasn't you know like. It was like oh, he liked me and he thinks I'm cute and like some girls, like that.
Speaker 4:Maybe it was like he had a car and he would pick her up from school. And then our schoolmates would see her with this older guy and think like man, look at her, she's dating that older guy, even though he's fuggly as shit. But maybe there's just that tinge of like. But he's got a car.
Speaker 5:He's got a car yeah, you never know what motivations are at that age. No, no, it's hard to say yeah, and it's a different era too.
Speaker 1:For sure, and I think some girls, that's a really like uncomfortable age for most kids.
Speaker 5:Oh yeah.
Speaker 6:And you know. So getting like attention from a man and even she might have thought he was cute.
Speaker 4:I don't know, even though the rest of us, Maybe the way that initially that he made her feel about herself there was some other traction. She's like he makes me feel good about myself. He's cute yeah.
Speaker 5:She's a lot of speculation but the fact is this? You never know. That's why these pedarass go after these kids at this age, because they're vulnerable.
Speaker 1:Well, and at that age, like he's doing things, like she's at his house and then he puts her on the train and then he's timed it so that he makes sure that like she doesn't go anywhere else and she gets her ass home exactly when she's supposed to. And he calls to make sure and to her she feels like he like just cares about me and he loves me and it's like so safe and protecting.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Whereas, you know, if you're older and have a little bit more experience, you're like, you're fucking weird.
Speaker 5:Like, why, like I stopped to get?
Speaker 1:a drink on my way home, like would you get a grip?
Speaker 4:You know stuff like that, so obviously, he had to like test that out before if he knew the exact time he had to make that run himself.
Speaker 5:Right, he did.
Speaker 4:He got the train walked, take the route that she takes and was like I know exactly. It takes down to the second.
Speaker 5:Well, he probably stalked her, asked him how long it took her to get home and then just timed that shit. Yeah.
Speaker 4:And, like you said, in her mind it was like oh, that's lovely, he cares about me, but in his mind he's like he ain't going nowhere.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Did it say how they met? He was friends with someone she was babysitting for, and she was babysitting and he came over.
Speaker 4:How do the friends not see what a fucking weirdo he is? I have no idea.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, I guess people like that too Sometimes, like if he's a narcissist, you know they can put on a good face. Yeah, they're really charming it's not just narcissism, it's sociopath. Oh, for sure.
Speaker 5:This sociopath is able to disassociate these feelings and emotions and play to whatever they think the situation needs.
Speaker 1:Well, they know what people are looking for Exactly. You know what? Yeah, they can be a guy with a lot of people.
Speaker 5:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:Let's see All right. So on April 16th 1996, smith walks into the police department and calmly tells officers that his girlfriend had died during an argument while she was in the bath and she inhaled water. Oh, he claimed he attempted to resuscitate her. No, just wait. You just like just wait. He claimed he tried to resuscitate her, but that she also often pretended to be unconscious. So when police arrive at the two bedroom home on a quiet called the sack in Gorton Manchester, they had no idea what horrors they would find. Police entered the home and were directed upstairs to the bedroom. On the floor they found Kelly's lifeless body. As police began investigating, aside from the horrific state of Kelly's body, they found blood in every room of the house, indicating a much more sinister death than just an accidental drowning. James Patterson Smith was immediately taken into custody and the tale quickly unraveled. William Lawler, the pathologist who examined her body, had this to say well, in my career I have examined almost 600 victims of homicide, but I have never come across injuries so extensive.
Speaker 1:The post mortem exam revealed over 150 separate injuries found on now 17 year old Kelly's body. For the last month of Kelly's life she had been kept bound by her hair to either a radiator or other furniture. She had scalding of her butt and left leg, burns on her thigh caused by an iron, a fractured arm, signs of strangulation, multiple stab wounds caused by knives, forks and scissors. They found stab wounds inside her mouth. Both hands and knees had been crushed to keep her from leaving. He had mutilated her ears, nose, eyebrows, mouth, lips and genitals and there were wounds made by a spade and pruning shears, as well as a partial scalping. She had lost over 40 pounds since the last time her parents had seen her in December and, on top of starvation, she had not been given water for several days prior to death.
Speaker 1:But the most disturbing part was that the pathologist determined that no less than five days, but up to three weeks prior to Kelly's murder, she had lived after having her eyes gouged out. The pathologist also said that it looked as if Smith had removed them with his bare hands and had subsequently stabbed Kelly in her empty eye sockets. Her official cause of death was drowning, but that was after Smith beat Kelly with the shower head, knocking her unconscious, then holding her head under the water until he was sure she was gone. I have no idea how he thought walking into a police department and saying that she accidentally drowned in an argument. They're like oh, she drowned, what? Happened to Rebels? He was going to?
Speaker 1:Yeah, what about the rest of it? Like pass as literally anything.
Speaker 5:Well, I mean, that's pretty fucking extensive. Holy shit, bro. Yeah, gouging eyeballs out and stabbing the ocular cavities yeah, never thought of that before. Oh, I have.
Speaker 4:Oh, fuck you bro, you haven't no.
Speaker 5:No, have you never seen Saw and Mary next murder. No, that sounds like a white drill. Oh, it's a great show, it's a Mike Myers movie, isn't it? Yes, Exactly, I haven't seen that forever. So anyway, it's interesting. He freaking thinks he's going to go into this police station and say she accidentally drowned.
Speaker 1:She might be faking it I tried to resuscitate her yeah.
Speaker 4:She pretend to be unconscious she pretend to be unconscious.
Speaker 5:You're so fucking screwed. Does she play with eyeballs Now, I wonder? I mean, maybe you guys are going to go into this, but I'm going to ask the question like, what type of fucking psychosis was this guy experiencing? Because, to think so, the depravity obviously got worse and worse and worse. But as you get more and more depraved, you actually get desensitized, oh for sure. So maybe the stuff that he's doing and this is by no means a justification is absolutely not. But as you get more and more depraved, that depravity becomes more and more normal to you, right? So when he goes to the police hey guys, she drowned, she's dead he doesn't think about all this heinous shit that he's done to her. He's seen, it's almost like he's normal. Maybe.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Right, that's how fucked up in his brain he is. He's been in it for a long time, oh, years, yeah, right, and years and so he's had these years to be desensitized.
Speaker 6:I've seen.
Speaker 4:And he's like, you know, in his mind he's like she's talked to her parents. They've been over. Yeah, you know nobody's trying to.
Speaker 5:He doesn't even mind that much. Nobody's trying to. Nobody said shit.
Speaker 1:They liked the whole, like keeper in.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah, they liked that whole, they saw it. Yeah, gaseous or not.
Speaker 4:You know, and so I think in his mind it was just normal, like hey, you know, she drowned and he didn't think he didn't give it.
Speaker 5:Come collect his body so I can go to the next victim. Right, yeah Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's hard to like even wrap your head around like being able to like continually do that to someone. It's not just like a crime of passion where like you get pissed off you get in a fight and you like beat the shower, your girlfriend or whatever, which is a little more on the like understandable side of things, where, like it's a, you know.
Speaker 5:Wow, all right In the realm of hey. That was not the savages, you guys no, but we didn't say that. I understand.
Speaker 1:I mean, I think that's a very, a lot of times, just like there's this huge argument and something happens quickly. It's not like a time to think about it 100% over. This is like so they have different.
Speaker 5:So homicide is classified differently for that reason, for sure, you have homicide, crimes of passion, right. You have that homicide that's not like the premeditated type, right. And then you get the type that is premeditated. It's like, well, I'm going to kill this individual, right? Yeah, now, that's, that's a premeditated. How am I going to do it? Also included with the premeditation is torture, absolutely. It's like absolute, complete nut, or torture.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 5:It's like that is depraved. You can't even wrap your mind. You can't wrap your mind around it Because your psyche won't allow you to, because you can't fathom ever getting to that point.
Speaker 1:You can't, can't think of anybody that I mean. Maybe like someone like him. I would consider doing that too, but like you know someone, especially someone that you love or like in a relationship with that he'd love her.
Speaker 4:And his mind it was love.
Speaker 5:Whatever he, you know his understanding.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like in his way, but in like a intimate type relationship, it's control. It's control. Just yeah, it's control, think about.
Speaker 4:You know, and that's why when in my job, in our jobs, we tell people like this is not going to stop, no, yeah, and you know. And then you know, we, we see these people and it's like I've talked to women before and it's like, well, I'm just going to leave him, I don't want to say anything, and I'm like, but what about the next person he's with? Like, you got to speak up at some point because, he's going to.
Speaker 4:If you leave him, like good for you, at least you're getting out of it, but he's going to continue on. Who's next?
Speaker 1:It's hard, though, like statistically the most dangerous like point, the most dangerous for you and most likely that you will get potentially murdered is leaving.
Speaker 4:Relieve or lay out.
Speaker 1:And so that's like such a scary thing, right, because it's like, well, I'll just stay here and endure it. So, I can't leave. He'll kill me, he'll kill my family, he'll do all this crazy shit, and so I'll just stay and take it.
Speaker 5:That's an interesting statement. You say the most likely time that they're going to get murdered is when they go to leave. So you ask yourself but do you stay there? Is it going to get better?
Speaker 1:No, no, I'm saying like for them. It's just like I'll just stay and take it.
Speaker 5:That's the mentality. That's the mentality If I, if I try to leave him, you get murdered. Okay, that could be the case, and maybe it is statistically that way.
Speaker 5:But what you have to do and I'm just putting this out there is PSA. If anybody is involved with something like that. What you do is you come up with a plan. You don't just on a whim, decide you're going to leave, cause. Typically, what's going to happen? You're talking about leaving, you're talking about leaving I don't know the stats for it, but just anecdotally speaking about it what's going to happen is they're going to get in a fight, pissed off, and the person who is the victim in this case is going to say I'm fucking done. Finally, they're done because they're done getting all the abuse and they're going to leave, and because that's in the moment that they're leaving, with no plan, in the crime of the passion that's going on right there, then this individual is going to murder them. That's typically what we're talking about. Probably, if we look at it statistically, I'll be surprised. That backs up what I'm saying right now. So if you're going to do it, you got a plan. You have to.
Speaker 1:You have to get rid of these guys sleeping with the enemy. And then he shows up and he puts all your shit back straight in your cupboard and you realize that he's found you and he's going to murder you again.
Speaker 5:Okay, well, that's why you preemptively murder him. Okay, guys, come on call the savages, we'll take care of it for you. We'll take care of it for you For a nominal fee. Just a pack of sour patch goods For a nominal fee guys.
Speaker 4:You look at what these guys do and they start out, and then what they do is they isolate. Yeah, like with Kelly. Oh, for sure you know. So you're strengthening them.
Speaker 5:They're spending a lot of time.
Speaker 4:Then it was day strength and numbers and then it was fully like she's, you know, and that is one of the common things when I talk to victims of abuse. It's like, well, I, he's got all the money and he's got the cards in his name, so I can't take the car and I can't do this. I'm like I get it.
Speaker 1:A lot of times you have kids too.
Speaker 4:And it's like where am I going to?
Speaker 1:go Like I don't have any money. I don't have even if it's not their kid, just kids being there. In general, it's like a. It's just a different level oh, 100%.
Speaker 5:that complicates things.
Speaker 1:Even though it's obviously horrifically not okay for your children to be in that situation.
Speaker 5:No, no, it's so terrible for development and stuff.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I grew up in a house like that, so like I know, and a lot of times they use the kid as like.
Speaker 4:Well, if you leave, you never seen the kids again, you know they try to use them as leverage against you.
Speaker 1:Kids like love people even if they're shitty.
Speaker 5:And, of course, they love their mom or dad.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. But, like I said, even if it's not there like biological parent, a lot of times they still get attached and then, as a other parent, you feel like well, you know, I could break my kid's heart, Like it's just.
Speaker 4:there's all these justifications as to why you should stay. They're a good provider and they get to my kids and that's why, like what Jake was saying is, if you want to get out, you got to plan a little bit.
Speaker 1:It does, and sometimes you have to like go to their shelter like and do things like that. But you know that these DV shelters and stuff like they're set up to make it. You know as much as they can like anonymous.
Speaker 4:And that and what a lot of people understand is even and rightfully so, even to police. If I call a DV shelter and say hey, is this person here? They say we're not telling you any information.
Speaker 5:Yeah, so you know this is talking about like 96, 97. 1996. The thing about it is we have come a long way since then and you know, I don't know what services they provided in the UK back in 96. I guarantee they're not as good as they are now here in America. Guarantee, yeah. So with that being the fact of the case, like if, once again, psa man, if you're involved with this man or woman, whatever, get the fuck out, find resources, call your local PD and they will help you make a safe plan. Yeah, absolutely 100%. That's what we do. We do that all the time. We get you provided, we go there, make sure you're safe and then we hook you up with social workers and they will get you the proper resources you need.
Speaker 4:We've had social workers show up and it's like they come into van and like get the kids, like if you need meds or like birth certificates, grab that. And then they bounce, they can put you in a hotel for a couple of days, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then by the time this person gets on. It's like witness protection. Yeah, pretty much is what it is. It really is, yeah, which is great because you have to.
Speaker 2:They get you, they get you down to the courts to get your protective services.
Speaker 5:You have entire facilities that we can put them in, and they use different names. So if that, if the perpetrator finds them or thinks that they're there, they can call and ask for Jane Doe, and they have a different name, and it's like oh, we don't have a Jane Doe here, exactly, and then we'll get you down to the courts, we'll get you your protective orders, you'll get the stuff set up. We'll like investigate the crimes that have occurred, because we're going to find crimes. If you're going to, if you'll come out and talk to us, we're going to find the fucking crime and this person's going to get locked, the fuck away.
Speaker 6:That's what we're going to do.
Speaker 4:We're going to find the people do that and not a ton, not enough, not enough, but we have had people use it for sure.
Speaker 5:It's, absolutely we do. I'm not saying it's definitely not a hundred percent, it's not probably even fucking 50%, but we do get people who will finally like the straw has broken camel's back and they'll actually finally relinquish and get us there and we will help them. And it's to me it's so satisfying, because how many times we go in there like no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, my gosh, same thing. You guys, you're so like stuck in this, and when we finally can help somebody, it's like so gratifying to us.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 5:And it's like nice to see them finally getting out of it. And I've like run into these victims of domestic violence, you know, down the road years later, just in happenstance, and they're just so grateful for finally getting out. I didn't realize how bad I had it.
Speaker 1:Oh for sure. Yeah, like I said, it's like your brainwashed. You're in there and you don't. It doesn't you know? You're in the middle of it and it doesn't seem as bad. You know, it was interesting when I was pregnant with my son. It didn't happen with my daughter and I was at two different hospitals in in Ogden area, but when I was pregnant with my son, we got there and the nurses pulled me aside and took me into this room and right there and they were like, do you feel safe at home? Like, do you feel safe going home? You know, are you okay? And I was like, yes, what is happening? And all I could figure was that my ex-husband at the time, my husband at the time, was in narcotics. So I get like a big beard.
Speaker 1:He's bald, but he's like is a clean person and he's like so nice that he's never. I mean, he really like yelled at me Like that came out and I was like they think you're a wife beater.
Speaker 6:No, they asked me that too, Did they see they?
Speaker 1:didn't know if my daughter not know if it was just time change because there's almost seven year difference. Yeah, but I was like they think you're a piece of shit. It's odd because but it's nice if you need that, right, yeah, like it's a very doesn't seem sketchy, it doesn't seem like they're asking you that like you're pregnant, you're going in to have a baby, like it's just a thing that you have to go do.
Speaker 4:Funny enough, I've never been asked that Me either Nobody came to check about me when I had.
Speaker 3:Do you feel safe? I'd have been like.
Speaker 4:I'd have been like no, save me Help me.
Speaker 5:See that lady, she probably deserved it, though, yeah, you're right. Wow, victim, blame me.
Speaker 4:What.
Speaker 5:What Damn? I didn't say anything.
Speaker 4:No, but the reason why I said is because I had that where I got the victims that came out with the van. It was like two am. I said they got a bounce and so called the shelter and they're like yeah, we got them loaded up in the van and then the advocates drove them to the shelter. And it's like women's shelter, yeah, not like the homeless shelter, yeah, and they like shelter for battered.
Speaker 4:No shelter for battered women, and so that doesn't happen enough. But when it does happen, like I think some of them are surprised at how quickly like shit can get, like the ball can get rolling and things can like start happening, yes, and how protected they are.
Speaker 5:Yeah, it's surprising to them a lot of times because it really it really does work. They've got a pretty good system in there nowadays.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, there's enough of it. That goes on, you get.
Speaker 5:Which is sad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's very sad yeah.
Speaker 5:We had one. This was several years ago, probably the first couple of years that I was out on patrol. We had I think it was a victim's mom accidentally let slip to the husband, accidentally let slip, that the wife was staying at the women's shelter. And so should. The mom immediately calls us. You know, accidentally, blah, blah, blah, hold you know so and so that my daughter staying at the women's shelter and like 10 minutes later we get this call of a dude running around the parking lot trying to look for her car. And they have, we have like covered parking and he's like smashing windows and shit. We ended up showing up and fucking this dude up and he was a real piece of shit. That was a fun one. Hell yeah, that was like the only time that I've ever heard of somebody finding out their person they were abusing was at the women's shelter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because somebody freaking told them yeah, it was an accident.
Speaker 5:And she wasn't anybody on our side.
Speaker 1:Right, right. Well, and isn't it like mind baffling when you see that and you're like, so she's here because she says you're crazy, abusive, whatever, and they're going to show up and just show everybody how crazy.
Speaker 4:These people don't care.
Speaker 1:They don't care.
Speaker 5:I'm not saying all of them, but, man, you get these psychos. They're just like psycho people, man.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 5:That's why they're abusing women in the first place, and men are abused too.
Speaker 4:I don't want to like mine men, but absolutely I mean vastly more. No, but I tell you it's funny, like when I've shown up on DVs women are more mentally abusive. Well, that's true, but I've never.
Speaker 5:I've never. That's why that commander that yeah, the commander went off the rails. You got a little dick. I ain't a big old, damn little bitch. Why that's?
Speaker 3:why she?
Speaker 5:was chipping away, and finally, he didn't punch her he punched the fucking guy at Christie's vagina, christie's box.
Speaker 4:Christie's box. But whatever, these guys are more than happy, or these perpetrators, because it's not always dues.
Speaker 5:No, it's not, though it's not always, you'd be surprised.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, no, there's, there's some.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I've seen Jake show up to work with the few bruises here and there. Yeah, I'm like two black guys.
Speaker 5:I mean, what did she say to you? Nothing, she didn't tell me twice already. Boom, she got you tagged you twice.
Speaker 4:I've never once had one of these dudes try to like, bow up and be like, oh I can beat on women. Let's, let's try and let's try and get froggy with this dude.
Speaker 5:No, well, okay, can I tell a story? Yeah, a story. From them screeds right now Denied.
Speaker 4:Not allowed. But it's like if you want to beat on somebody, like hey, I'm ready, willing and able.
Speaker 5:I like how, jerry, we just went with it. He's like, oh no, okay, the boss is spoken.
Speaker 3:Maybe he has shown up with two black guys.
Speaker 5:I showed up with two black guys and a bruised brown eye. Boom. That was from when Jake got pegged.
Speaker 4:And liked it, tried it twice. When I go on these calls I'm like I just wish I wish him the fucker would Like I'm serious.
Speaker 5:I'm game you feeling froggy. I'm telling the story. I don't care what Joss says. So we were on the West side, get a call of possible domestic violence and progress. It's a house that's been converted into a duplex and there's a family who owns the whole property. They live upstairs and they've got a couple who are renting downstairs from them and the couple upstairs are calling like sounds like somebody's getting their butt kicked downstairs. Please get here, help out. We're worried about somebody's safety. So just tonight we fly over there and Rob was on another call, but he's like I'm going to go help them out and Justin ran.
Speaker 4:He beat you there oh he's fucking fast as shit.
Speaker 5:The baby is here. You do have a German in you. That was so German. Well, hello Fritz.
Speaker 4:Nice to finally meet you.
Speaker 5:I'm just good with accents. You play an American accent. You need some work on it, though it's a little polishing. It's a little polish, all right. So we're flying to the scene. It's in progress.
Speaker 5:You know the call takers taking calls and they can hear stuff going on. It sounds like somebody's getting their ass kicked. So Justin and I show up there, we park our cars, run around the house and there's a. They're in the basement part, but it's kind of an above ground basement so they've got a window on the side and we can hear screaming for help. So I was like, oh hell, yeah, I know how to go knocking on no doors, I can kick that bitch in. So we get around the garage door, where the entrance is to that basement, and I rear back and I kick that fucking door open, kick the door off the hinges.
Speaker 5:We go inside and this motherfucker, this dude, has a big ass guitar and he's raised above his head. It's already broken off a little bit because he's hit the guy with the freaking guitar once already. I know, yes, hit her with the fucking guitar once already. And we come in and we're like put the guitar down and he turns toward us and we did not give him a second and we just go in, freaking, bulldoze his ass, take him down to the ground. Justin actually had a baton and Justin was hitting with his baton Boom, boom, boom, and I've got him down and I'm pulling his arm behind his back and I'm delivering some strikes to his face.
Speaker 5:He's still trying to fight with us and Justin pulls his taser out, taser's this guy from like a foot away, right in the middle of his back. I saw the barbs hit his spine. Hell yeah, boom Zapping him. It's the only thing about the taser. The taser is really not effective if the barbs don't spread wide. Yeah, they spread wide, very effective, and I explained that real quick for those who don't. So you got two barbs that come out of a taser and typically they travel at a certain angle away from each other. So the further you are away, the bigger travel it has, which means those muscles in between the two barbs will be neutralized. You know receiving that shock element of that Cause it's going to travel between the barbs.
Speaker 5:It's going to travel between the barbs, but because we're so close the barbs didn't have time to travel, so they traveled about an inch away from each other. This thing hit right into his fucking spine. I watched him in bed in the spine Just coming handy later. So we uh him and the spine doesn't really fucking work. So Justin dumps the taser off and the dude turns over bro. No, I was all hands baby and I fucking just beat this guy, you got prongs.
Speaker 5:I beat this guy to a bloody pulp. He was still trying to fight with us and I just friggin did work on his face. He looked like hamburger but his face. His mom couldn't identify his ass. But before we took him to jail cause he finally relinquished and we put cuffs on him and actually had the ambulance drive him up to the hospital and they get him up there and they had to remove those barbs with fucking pliers. Good.
Speaker 5:He screamed the whole time. They took those things out. I mean, it wasn't intentional that we hit him in the spine, but it did. Oh, I thought you were going to say you, christopher, reeve them.
Speaker 4:Well, that'd be cool. Fuck that guy.
Speaker 5:I mean, we hit another guy in the dick with a fucking taser bar, but it hit him right in the head of the penis. The peanut oh, that was a good one. That was a good one.
Speaker 4:Then he blew a $3 Hawaiian Wonder cooler over the place. So I got a similar story, same type of deal, and it was a house on the East side and it was one of those where it was like a, just a there's no basement or attic, but the front half of the house was an apartment and then the back half was. I think I've told the story, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5:I know what you're talking about. Yeah.
Speaker 4:And so I don't remember the story but keep going. Yeah, so we get there, like the front half calls that had things or stuff going on the back. Okay, so we're going on the like little side walkway and we can see in the kitchen this dude is just on his phone Googling weird shit. This dude, I'm dealing with some shit, I don't even googling anything.
Speaker 4:Okay. Anyways, we can see through the window that this dude has just beaten the brakes off this lady in the kitchen, and then so we have an officer with us there's three of us and he tries to kick the door down and he can't. The officer couldn't, yeah. He gives it like a couple of little like. He's like it's like Jeremy, I can't you do it, I'm like okay, yeah.
Speaker 4:They just drive back and they shoot back and put like all the parts back here and they run back and get a boomer there Back again. No-transcript. I can like picture this house for some reason, and so it was me and this other you were the perpetrator, weren't you?
Speaker 1:No?
Speaker 5:I was the guy who couldn't kick the door open. It's like Jeremy, please help me, I can't get this door.
Speaker 4:So I was so mad at the officer, I picked him up and I used him as a battering ram to get into the door. My head hurts.
Speaker 5:That's why you're bald, that's why I have brain damage, not the bus. It wasn't the bus, it was the battering of the ram.
Speaker 4:So and then, like it's obvious where the kitchen, because we just saw the windows so we go in and we go left and that dude is on top of her and we're like hey, please. And then he grabs a knife. So we both were like all right, it's game time.
Speaker 5:Oh yeah, game time.
Speaker 4:We're going to ventilate this full Hell's, yeah, and we're shouting at him Perforations, and then he's like looking at us and for a second I think he's going to do it because if he takes like one step or one motion anywhere Swiss cheese, dunskies and then so he like stops and then he like flicks the knife away Plus. And then, but again your guy, your guy fought. My guy was like yeah, he was more scared of you apparently.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, it's like it's like what my ex used to always say. I mean, I know it's like a saying somewhere, but like people want you to get the job done, they just don't want to know how you do it. Yeah, Pretty much Pretty much.
Speaker 5:It's like special forces right, they wanted to get the job done, but they don't want to know the kind of tactics they use. Well, don't tell the Navy SEALs that, because apparently they talk about all their shit.
Speaker 4:Well, I killed Ben Lott. I killed Ben Lott and one of the other saddest. I think I've told this to, but I was in sex crimes at the time. So we get a report of this guy who just moved into the neighborhood is like taking pictures of his next door neighbors, like the kids that they're out in the yard and he would stand out in his yard and take pictures. So one of the detectives runs the address is like sex offender and so it's like Way to be discreet.
Speaker 4:Well, right In your yard, and it's like and it's like has technically, has he committed a crime? No, no, not technically, no. So it's like so we show up and he, he takes me and our friend Corey, our good friend Corey. Yeah, corey. So he's like my height, not quite your height, bro, come on, he's, he's in that, he's in that neighborhood. He's tall and he, uh, it's only like an inch or two shorter.
Speaker 5:That's still shorter and a lot, a lot less fatter.
Speaker 4:He's a lot less fatter, he's more spelt, but still a sight to behold, in an opposing presence, as it were.
Speaker 5:Ryan Reynolds, ryan Reynolds and your Gary Busey, you're, you're both imposing presences, presences.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that makes sense. How the f it makes sense to me. So, anyways, so we show up there I wish this was real and we like knock on the door and they pointed at me Fuck you. So, yeah, you're going to have to cut this out, I'm sorry.
Speaker 5:So you know, both go there.
Speaker 4:Full story.
Speaker 5:Full story.
Speaker 4:Dude.
Speaker 5:Oh yeah, Hold on. Wait, he didn't say pause though. Oh shit, you're fucked, well safe word Not used.
Speaker 1:Good luck finding me. Yeah, true, although we did.
Speaker 5:We had. We had the savage crew looking out for him. How found is that they found you at the Super Bowl bitch? Super Bowl found you at fucking Loch Ness. Found you in a book, in a book the Yeti. Yeah, found you in a book. You're good, you're done, anyway.
Speaker 4:So he opened. He like opens the door. And we're standing in his doorway and we're like, hey, can we come in? And so we're standing in his living room like hey, sit on the couch. And this, the senior detective, was like we know what the fuck you've been doing taking pictures. And he's like, if I ever get a call about you taking pictures again, I'm going to bring these two big bastards back and we're going to fucking get it done Just straight face. And he's like, do you understand what I'm saying?
Speaker 5:The guy's like, yeah, yeah, corey's even bigger than Jeremy in this instance. Bitch, what Makes the story better?
Speaker 4:Corey's huge. I'm 6'5,. You're 6'13. You're 6 fucking 7.
Speaker 6:6'13. Yeah, 13. Okay.
Speaker 4:But Dude, public hangings Again.
Speaker 5:I am in big favor of public hangings. I'll ask the sinners amongst saints the same question and I'm on a response Okay so.
Speaker 1:Yes, sir, I'm sorry. Are you going to ask a question?
Speaker 5:I'm demanding if you don't, if you don't, I'm going to stalk you and I'm going to tie you to a radiator. So by their hair, by your hair, yes, absolutely, three balls Goodbye. So if, if you had an instance where somebody committed this heinous crime and they were now going to be executed in front of the public, do you think that would deter crime across the nation?
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, I mean, I would hope so.
Speaker 5:I mean, if you saw the ramifications of this person being executed in public and the note was from now on, anybody who's going to commit these types of crimes shall be executed in public, would that deter crime?
Speaker 1:Well, for some criminals, not all.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I don't think it's. It's not going to be a 0%.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I think for yeah, like your petty criminals, people that you know little.
Speaker 3:I think we should bring back an eye for an eye, and whatever they did should be done to them.
Speaker 5:That's biblical. That's the end of the Ra of Moses. Yeah, this is why you bring back the electric, exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 5:I love the idea of public. I do too. But you do it. You do it the old school way, right when you have a scroll. You have a dude that comes out in a white wig. He's got the scroll, he whips it out and just reads it off like oh yeah.
Speaker 4:He can't read it from a tablet.
Speaker 5:No, I want it on a fucking papyrus yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean papyrus. Yes, and England, they still wear, like the, you know, the wigs.
Speaker 4:The wigs.
Speaker 5:Yeah, the like I want somebody on a in a powdered wig, standing on a wooden, or why don't we just take a fucking?
Speaker 6:thing. Why don't we just bring back the guillotine? Why don't we just take?
Speaker 5:Yeah, cause that's French cause, then the French fucking and it's quick, and it's quick.
Speaker 1:I want that dude, why don't like once a year? We just do like a hunger games and we just take everyone who's on death row?
Speaker 6:Yes, Put them in an arena I like that Figure out like so turned off. But what happens if they win? Kill each other.
Speaker 1:Then they just wait for the next year's.
Speaker 6:Oh, they get to play next year, yeah, so like eventually.
Speaker 5:You're going to kill each other. Eventually, you're going to go. They're not going to participate. Well, if they hold on, if they don't, then people get the bid system right. You get a raffle, okay, and so you get like you get like 12 hours and whoever's left over, cool, here comes.
Speaker 4:Here comes the raffle winners, the mods and if people, refuse to come out of the tunnels like you close and be like, hey, we're going to let a lion loose in about two seconds. So you can get you can. You can be made into lion shit, or you can get your ass out in the arena and I think that there'd be a problem because you'd have one guy who would like train the whole time just to be this bad ass. True.
Speaker 5:And so that's fine. That's fine because, think about it, you have, you have. I feel like we're in the fucking coliseum right now. Yeah, but they did that for honor. These dudes are doing it purely for survival.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right.
Speaker 5:You have X amount of people in there. Even if that one dude is like the Hercules, he's still going to be in fucking prison for it.
Speaker 4:Last man standing has to fight polar bears.
Speaker 1:I like that there we go. Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 5:And if you can beat polar bears, you still go back to prison.
Speaker 6:What the fuck. Then you get to go live with the polar bears. Oh, there you go, Me, Kim King of the polar bears.
Speaker 5:Yeah, exile them To polar bear region. Yeah, that motherfucker's going to get out. If he beats polar bears, he's going to win and come back to society and then probably take over the world, send him up to like those research stations.
Speaker 1:You know it's like negative, like 50 degrees. He's not going to live, he's not going to survive If he beat polar bears.
Speaker 5:he's going to live. He gets kicked out of it. You'll wear one of their skins. He gets kicked out of a helicopter wearing shorts and a T-shirt He'll become a polar bear.
Speaker 1:Or maybe it's like the what's his name? The butcher in Alaska, the serial killer that would take the prostitutes out by plane.
Speaker 4:Oh, yeah, and then hunt them, yeah, and then drop them off like with no shoes or clothes on, and then hunt them.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like whoever wins that's. What we get to do is just take them to some like remote place and then just let them free no shoes, no clothes, and then someone's going to hunt you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, here's the thing is, we don't have to tell them what they get at the end. Yeah Right, like we could tell them they get some great prize Freedom, that's true.
Speaker 5:Yeah, once they win, we're like just kidding. A bunch of little kids.
Speaker 3:They're mine, and then you they get their freedom.
Speaker 5:It's freedom from life From life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're going to read them from life.
Speaker 5:Congratulations. You have oh man.
Speaker 4:You have Elon Musk create a super soaker, but it's acid, ooh, and you get a bunch of little kids.
Speaker 1:What's our acid thing? Just chasing them. Ha ha, and he just starts melting. We did the torture episode.
Speaker 4:You're not the kids, mirkham, fuck yeah.
Speaker 6:You guys have a torture episode. We do oh, an episode about one.
Speaker 5:Which one was it? Hold on torture episode.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's all about like different um types of torture.
Speaker 5:Was this one of your Halloween ones? Different modes of torture.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, Just all the like.
Speaker 5:Employed through history. Yeah, Okay cool, that's cool, that's cool. I've researched that stuff.
Speaker 1:Could you imagine if we brought back the torture Like the Chinese, like skin-flying and like?
Speaker 4:skin-flying and like the hair, the hair. What was it called the pair of anguish?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:All of you see nothing.
Speaker 5:That's disgusting, oh yeah. Oh we have a whole discussion. What is like? What is it? The pair of anguish?
Speaker 1:So what it is is like it's a, it's a metal contract, this bulb, and then you stick it in someone and you turn this knob.
Speaker 4:So like go into the gynecologist, yeah, and then it starts to open and it just flits in the half, there's breaking bones and you just break from the inside out, so they either put it in your mouth, your vagina or your anus or the anus.
Speaker 3:Who came up with this, and so we have like a whole discussion on which one we would choose.
Speaker 4:Oh which, if we?
Speaker 3:had to pick. And there's that, there's that. I can't remember what it's called.
Speaker 4:The pair is going to feel good for a minute. No, the hair takes four. That's what it takes four.
Speaker 5:Hold on. What's the subject? The subject is the subject of torture the hair takes four. Hold on. What's society came up with this?
Speaker 3:Which one was that? Do you remember I?
Speaker 5:think it's like the Europeans.
Speaker 3:Probably the.
Speaker 1:French ticklers. A lot of it's Europeans, yeah, a lot of Europeans.
Speaker 4:There's that one where they put you like in a boat, and then they put the same boat on top but your arms and legs are there's holes to cut out.
Speaker 1:That's what they do.
Speaker 4:Is they like, for they put you in the water and then they just feed you milk and honey. Milk and honey, that's all you eat. So they shit. And then you start to shit and shit and shit diarrhea, and then like you're sitting that for days and then you start to like get infected and maggots and fleas and then they just eat on you, they just let everything eat you and they just keep feeding you milk and honey until you shit yourself to death If you don't eat it. They force feed it.
Speaker 5:It's not like you're in a Pull your nose. Yeah, you should have a funnel down your mouth. Yeah.
Speaker 4:And they're like time for dinde.
Speaker 6:Have fun More.
Speaker 4:The human centipede. We should do that.
Speaker 1:Ours is episode 40, torture throughout history.
Speaker 5:What's the human centipede? Ask the mouth, baby. Have you ever?
Speaker 1:seen those like the horror movie.
Speaker 4:What You've never seen the human centipede horror movie. Yeah, oh, it's the most wildest horror movie. So it's about like this weirdo doctor, I think he's like in Germany or somewhere, yeah, like. And so these people are traveling, they get lost, or their car breaks down and there's three or four of them, and so it starts to rain. So they run to this house, like in the woods, and like oh, this is normal, it's safe out in the middle of nowhere, and it's like this rich crazy doctor.
Speaker 4:And he's previously experimented on his dogs. He shows them. There's the first one, and then the second one he shows to their ass and the third one he shows to the ass of the one.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, it's ass to mouth and what he does is there's a chain of like three or four, and then he feeds the first one normally, and then they just shit into the mouth of the one, which is like sustenance, which then they shit into the mouth. Is it, though? How would it be sustenance? Is it though? He's a crazy doctor. I don't think there's a much logic or medical fact behind his findings.
Speaker 5:Like four times removed from shit.
Speaker 4:That is complete and that's what it is and he was. It was so weird because he's always stumped like why do these people keep dying?
Speaker 6:Why is the last one die first? You all?
Speaker 4:right over there. I don't understand this. What's going on here? Let me keep experimenting. I'm a doctor.
Speaker 5:I can't understand common logic, because it's weird because I'm in first of all.
Speaker 4:They made like three movies. They made three movies. They did. Yeah, I took this guy a while to figure out what's wrong with my third movie?
Speaker 5:He's a hold on, hold on, wait. Poo and mouth doesn't equal living, good job, but just human. Sit up. He does Talk to two girls. One cup it lived, they did.
Speaker 4:They lived a good life. You okay, you okay. I remember when that was big and then like was that a little PTSD right there?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Hell yeah.
Speaker 4:I remember when that like when that first came out and like people would film their reactions to watching it. Oh yeah, and so they're like oh, which is weird, like hey, watch this video and it starts out as like a normal little soft core.
Speaker 5:Good for you, you don't have to watch it, so I know about it, yeah. Don't ever watch it.
Speaker 6:Don't ever.
Speaker 1:I mean, don't ever watch it man.
Speaker 5:If you like soft serve, don't ever fucking watch it. I don't know, I don't think it was you watched it implanted stuff Just the actual two girls, one cup.
Speaker 6:But it did not I'm the producer, bitch.
Speaker 1:I was snacking on some stuff while I was watching it and just laughing.
Speaker 4:So this is really, she had chocolate pudding.
Speaker 5:Who do you think made the soft serve?
Speaker 4:That was me but it's weird because my socks. The weirdest part of the whole thing is like the reactions video. There'd be like grandmas, oh yeah, and so I'm just like who's showing that to their grandma? Exactly this grandma's like, oh, there's some boobies and you know, okay, let's, we got here. It's shit Woo.
Speaker 5:Like grandma. What the fuck are you thinking? Grandma has a heart attack. Yeah, Don't show.
Speaker 1:I haven't seen that for like 40 years.
Speaker 4:She's like I haven't seen that since last week.
Speaker 5:Great grandmas are spring. Our spring ball starts the week after this episode is going to air, so I can't wait for Tuesday to show up Hell yeah, my kids are going to be like hey coach hey coach, tell me more about two girls, one cup. Hey boys, buy some fucking merchandise. Oh, yes, buy some fucking hoodies. Sorry, I thought you were going to say something inappropriate. Yes, buy some. What Girls?
Speaker 4:and cups. Hold on hold on. Hold on.
Speaker 5:Nobody's going to buy hoodies when we gave out when we gave out a hoodie that fucking had a messed up pocket. I'm getting that rectified. I'm just saying I'm going to buy it with my own money.
Speaker 6:I know a little teenager bought our merch and the pocket was like a little it's still can wear it though.
Speaker 5:Yeah, but.
Speaker 4:I'm going to get him another one. Maybe he has his good hand. That's my strong hand.
Speaker 5:Hey, take the strong Mr the Sturther the match.
Speaker 4:Maybe he has a strong hand. He doesn't have a strong hand.
Speaker 5:Well, you, the way you talked about it, I thought he was. That's why I sent him that what. Hold on. First of all, brownie, I have never said anything bad about you. He did he did. That's a damn lie. He said you had a strong hand. Watch scary movie two. So definitely two strong hands, probably. Then, idiots, what's your soul cleans? Hold on what. Hold on. We didn't finish what happened.
Speaker 4:Oh we're not even done yet Fucking, jumping the gun. I thought the cops got him.
Speaker 6:But we need to hear it though. Yeah, come on, jeremy, fucking Jeremy.
Speaker 1:Okay. So the case was quickly taken to court, where the jury was shown all the evidence of what she went through in at least the last month of her life. Peter Open Shaw, the prosecuting counsel, said, quote it was as if he deliberately disfigured her, causing her the utmost pain, distress and degradation. The injuries were not the result of one sudden eruption of violence. They must have been caused over a long period and were so extensive and so terrible that the defendant must have deliberately and systematically tortured the girl. Her death must have come as a merciful end for her.
Speaker 5:That's what I was thinking actually. Yeah, her finally getting drowned. She's like the sweet release.
Speaker 1:Right In the trial.
Speaker 5:Sorry, he didn't want that either.
Speaker 1:No, I guarantee you did not mean to fucking kill her finally no.
Speaker 5:Unless he found her completely useless because he already poked her eyeballs out.
Speaker 1:Right, he's getting down to like the end of what he could do.
Speaker 5:He's like well, I can't really do much more to her. Got to find another one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in the trial, smith denied murder and stated that he, in fact, was the victim in this case. Oh my gosh, he's the victim yeah. He said quote she would put me through hell, winding me up. He said that Kelly would taunt him about his dead mother and that she only had herself to blame. He stated that Kelly would intentionally hurt herself to make it look worse on him and when asked why he gouged her eyes out, he claimed that she had dared him to do it.
Speaker 5:Oh yeah, sounds reasonable.
Speaker 1:Several of Smith's past girlfriends testified in court to the severe abuse they suffered at his hands, as well as a consultant psychiatrist, jillian Mezzi, who told the court that Smith had a severe paranoid disorder with morbid jealousy and that he lived in a distorted reality. The Manchester jury of seven men and five women took one hour to deliberate and find James Patterson Smith guilty of Kellyanne Bates's murder and sentenced him to life in prison. Judge Sacks recommended that Smith serve no less than 20 years and told Smith quote this has been a terrible case, a catalog of depravity by one human upon another. You are a highly dangerous person. You are an abuser of women and I intend, far as it is in my power, that you will abuse no more. When the jury was offered counseling after the trial, it was the first time in UK history that every single person accepted.
Speaker 1:In November 2022, smith, aged 74, had his first parole hearing. He appeared before a three-person parole board where he gave evidence and told them he was a changed man. The parole board rejected his parole and a spoke person for the board said quote we can confirm that a panel of the parole board refused the release of James Smith following an oral hearing. The panel also refused the recommendation to move him to an open prison. They take into the account details of the original case, the risk the prisoner imposed on the public, evidence of behavior change, also exploring the impact the crime had on the victims. They take evidence from probation officers, psychiatrists, psychologists, officials supervising the prisoner, as well as victim statements, and in the end they determined that he is still too dangerous to be released and he will stay, hopefully until he dies.
Speaker 5:Well, you were at the probation 2022.
Speaker 1:2022, he had probation hearing 25, so it was 25 years He'd served so far.
Speaker 5:I can't believe that there is even a parole hearing. That just boggles my mind.
Speaker 4:It boggles my fucking mind, the criminal justice system, though Even the fact that it took the jury an hour, Well, it's because they went out for lunch and they came back out for an hour.
Speaker 5:They're guilty.
Speaker 1:You look at Ed Kemper. He was up for parole. He could have gotten out. Six years after he was convicted for the horrific murders that you know, he went to a psychiatrist appointment to get released off of being like deemed completely insane, while he had a girl's head in his trunk that he had just murdered and he was six years later, not to mention when he did it to his grandma. His mom, I mean she kind of did it to his grandma.
Speaker 5:That guy was pretty crazy. Oh, she deserved this.
Speaker 6:She was a real bitch. I think it's crazy that James Patterson Smith he didn't even pretend to have remorse no, no, because a lot of times they'll give some pick-asapology Like he didn't even try.
Speaker 5:Did he say he was a changed man though?
Speaker 6:His parole hearing.
Speaker 4:But once, like in court, he's like that's like the, that bitch deserved it. Victim yeah, victim shaming Like the extreme.
Speaker 5:Oh, for sure that he's the victim, his justification is she drove him to do it. I mean, let's be honest here. There are times that women just Wow. Every once in a while you just got to give a little, A little eye gouge.
Speaker 4:A little bit Why'd you take her eyes out. She gave me to do it. She fucking dared him to.
Speaker 5:Who am I? Who am I to be like? Oh, it's a day, oh, okay, Like fuck, I'm going to do it. Well, if it was a bet, you would have definitely taken it yeah, you would have gouged your fucking eyes out.
Speaker 5:Yeah, don't bet me. What is this? Why are you so no more? Hey, no more. No more. Vision for fits what? Why would my eyes get gouged out? If it was a bet and you lost your bet, like you lost them all in my the bets, I get to gouge your eyes out. When did we make that bet? I'm just saying that's what you'd do, he's saying you wouldn't.
Speaker 6:He's saying you wouldn't dare somebody to do it, you would bet them and they would lose.
Speaker 5:I'm saying is I can understand a woman driving you crazy to the point where you would want to break her hands and feet. I'm not going to put the laugh in there, I'm just going to keep it. I'm going to cut this part out and we're going to say well, avita's saying fits. Apparently, you can't be part of the podcast anymore. Hashtag cancel fits, avita's saying.
Speaker 6:Insert the five seconds of silence, because he understands that.
Speaker 5:Avita's saying it, we say fits, you're fucking done. He doesn't understand Avita's saying mother fucker, he knows to leave. Avita's saying asshole. Avita's saying you guys are idiots. They denied him the open prison. What's the open prison?
Speaker 4:I guess it's just like a more Club fed. He's in the super max right now. There's like prisons in Norway I came in for some Netflix by prisons around the world where dudes like live in their own house and they leave and go do whatever they come back. I'm not sure. I tried, I just did like a quick search. I didn't find like too much about it. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure. I'm not sure, I'm not sure. I just did like a quick search. I didn't find like too much about it, but I do know it said he was in like a super duper. It's not the good luck.
Speaker 5:So he's petitioning to go to general population. Yeah, gen Pop. Okay. So this I'm going to ask a question this might be interesting to your listeners. So fits worked as a prison guard for a minute. We're called corrections officers. I'd just like to call you a prison guard, fucking asshole. He worked as a correction officer in the prison, right In a prison for the state that you worked in, as this piece of shit that we're talking about now. What would life be like for him? So if he's in super max, he's going to be in a cell by himself, and they're eight by five ish. They're not very big, depending on what. For us, he would only get out of his cell maybe two or three times a week to shower, to have his rec time, to do whatever. So he's going to be stuck in that cell pretty much all day long.
Speaker 4:So it's not 23 hour lockdown, one hour a day. What's that Like? They don't get one hour a day for rec time.
Speaker 5:It depends, Right. So there are some. They don't get that Our super max. You only get out a couple of times. You get out for a shower once a day, but that's it.
Speaker 4:They can take a Like. They have sinks in their yeah yeah.
Speaker 5:They have sinks and toilets, so we don't have to worry about bathroom stuff. They can do a top of towels, but they have shower facilities so they would get out to shower. Unless they're being punished for something else that they've done, then they get the hole or what. We don't have a hole. Yeah, you're just isolated to your cell. Just going to stay there.
Speaker 5:But you'll get like rec time, which is a little concrete yard with like a basketball hoop With other people. No yeah, so super max, you're all. So that would be why Always by? Yourself. My guess is he's trying to petition to go to open, which is GenPop. So he would be in a section with other inmates. He would be able to get out several hours a day.
Speaker 1:So this I just quickly just looked up a little bit more. It says that it's known as a category D prison and they're often not locked up in their cells and they may even be allowed to take an employment job while serving the remainder of their sentence, that's open. They're not allowed to take any of their freedom and are only permitted to leave their open prison for a particular purpose. So it's kind of like get to, like leave a little bit.
Speaker 5:Hold on. Leave what, leave the prison.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, you're going to get to have a job.
Speaker 5:Is that legit?
Speaker 4:Yeah, hold on we have a job inside the prison, no People making license for this and shit no Outside. So that's your Outside. Yeah, what?
Speaker 1:I think that's why they say they take into account, like their risk in society as well as like you know.
Speaker 5:But why is he in the D prison then?
Speaker 1:He's not. That's where he was petitioning. He wanted to go for you guys, but he couldn't get released.
Speaker 5:But he's in what, he's in what.
Speaker 1:Just like a super max. So he was trying. If he couldn't get like parole, he wanted to be moved to an open prison and he said, no, no Makes sense.
Speaker 4:That prison in Norway, the guy who's like doing the interview. He's talking to a guy. He's like what are you in for? He's like stabbing somebody as he's using kitchen knives to like cook food and he's like, oh so you were stabbed somebody. Your weapon of choice.
Speaker 4:But like they can leave, they have cars, they have bikes, they can go, and then they come back and they have like their own little house. It's nuts. And then the whole point was like we think prison, you know, nowadays is just too extreme and like how do we are, how are we supposed to rehabilitate these individuals by keeping locked up like animals? I'm like no, some of them act like animals. So, yeah, some of them can't be rehabilitated Well it's kind of like the state hospital, remember our case.
Speaker 1:And they get to like. He got to like leave, he's like sentenced. He killed his mom and he is sentenced to the state hospital because he was.
Speaker 5:Like a mental ward.
Speaker 1:Schizophrenic and whatever, but he was allowed to like leave and come back. Allowing some of those people to like be out in the public is not like a safe thing.
Speaker 4:If you're mentally defective enough where you've committed a crime and we need you to be locked away in a prison.
Speaker 1:Or even just there, because so my mom was bipolar and she had a few stints in the psych ward when she got like a little bit older and there was at one point where she was decided she wanted to go to the state hospital. She was like there was like a brochure there, like it's like a Like a vacation resort, retreat. I think she was just so tired of like her mental.
Speaker 3:Fighting it Right.
Speaker 1:She was like just look how nice it is. And I was just like you are crazy. And the doctor, like that was there that the psych ward was, like you are not crazy enough to go to the psych ward. Like people that are there like they're really crazy, Like they don't know that they're crazy, Like that's what you're like.
Speaker 5:Yeah, that's how crazy they are.
Speaker 1:Like you. You know, you know you what you are. Like you're not crazy enough to go there.
Speaker 5:You're self aware of what your shit's going on.
Speaker 1:Sorry you still have to live life.
Speaker 5:But like it's legit. I'm going to ask you, fitz, do your time in the prison as a guard, not inmate, that's a different story.
Speaker 4:Not as a corrections officer either Just as a guard, as a guard as a prison security guard, as the mall cop, the mall cop.
Speaker 5:So, working there, if you had an individual like James, who was locked up and then he requested to get Gen Pop and he was granted Gen Pop, he would die. Would he die? Yeah?
Speaker 1:I mean that's what I assumed. Like you want like people like that, just go straight into like protective custody right, which I don't think should be allowed either.
Speaker 5:See, and here's the thing on the men's side, if it's found out that you have done any type of crime against a child, whether it's sexual, green anything, you're dead.
Speaker 6:You know what's called green, you're green.
Speaker 5:Yeah, you're green yeah.
Speaker 6:I've had.
Speaker 5:I've had inmates before come up to me and ask me like hey see, oh, can you? You know you need to transfer me to a new section. Yada, yada, yada. I'm like for fucking what? Oh, my, my cell. He found my paperwork and found out that I'm a child molester.
Speaker 1:That sucks. We shouldn't be a child molester. But we have to, for I know which I hate, like I don't think they should be allowed to, but a lot, of, a lot of prisons.
Speaker 4:When you walk in like let me see your paperwork, they'll check their credits right on entry. Yeah, so a lot of inmates don't care their paperwork on them and so if it's found out like hey, you got like 24 hours to get off the block or we're going to fucking kill you. Yeah, that's legal running like please save me. And Fitz is like I'm calling in sick next 24 hours.
Speaker 5:Like oh man, my radio's broken.
Speaker 4:Oh fuck, requested. I forgot how to speak English, so when I was doing sex crimes investigating, I'm not committing them.
Speaker 1:Thanks for the clarification. Nice Back when I used to commit sex crimes.
Speaker 4:So we took a. We took a class by the guy who caught Eileen Warno, southern Florida. He was a captain or something at the time, but then now he goes around teaching and they partnered up with FBI and so they actually played some tapes from David Parker Ray, the toy box killer, because he recorded all the shit and they played like not video but audio. Yeah, that shit is haunting.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm sure yeah.
Speaker 4:Cause you know it's like on the TV you're watching, like oh, it's an actress or an actor and it's like whatever. But when you hear like real, you know that someone that's really dead. You're like Holy shit. Yeah, and I think he said that. So they found all the tapes and I think he's like convicted of like a few, but suspected of like 30 or something. He got like 150 years present, whatever for my home state of New Mexico. Rip it, but a couple of like, a couple of the, a couple of the things was like one of the FBI guys who had to like watch all the tapes and then committing suicide later.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's. I mean, can you like as a normal human, that's not you can only deal so much. Yeah, like that's not normal things to like to see. Even my boyfriend will like say things like there's something wrong with you. How do you watch all this stuff? And it's like it's different if it's like a part, like if you see actual, like crime scene photos, or if it's like a real. It's not just like a TV show where they're like doing the you know dramatic scenes or whatever. Like it's very different.
Speaker 4:He's waiting for the day when you, when you switch to like murders or cut to how to get away with Mert, he's like no, I've got to worry.
Speaker 1:I mean, I know I know how to get away with them. I mean, I've watched enough shows and I was married to a cop long enough that I could.
Speaker 5:She's watching shows and she sees the, the mistakes, fucking idiots. She's taking notes. You left the single strand of your hair there. You fucking idiots.
Speaker 4:He's like babe, what are you doing? She's like show up taking notes on how to kill you. He's like I will go do the dishes I got it.
Speaker 1:It's like Arthur Gary Bishop, you know in Utah, who is a serial killer.
Speaker 5:Little boys, you guys are dropping all these names. I don't know who they are, but I'm just assuming they're white.
Speaker 1:I mean, yes, this, this guy was. He was white and he was you know. He killed kids from age five to 12 in Utah.
Speaker 6:You've got a lot of crazies out there in Utah.
Speaker 5:There is a special place in hell for those people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he used the like Boy Scouts as a way to get to them. Back then, like in the 80s too, you could just go around and do a lot of things without having to like show who you were. You know what I mean. They just be like, oh, this is who I am they're like, so have a job.
Speaker 4:There was a movie that came out on Amazon Prime totally killer it's with a girl who plays in Sabrina, the new series or whatever. I watched it with my daughter, so she's 11, so it's awesome. So she's right on your path.
Speaker 5:She's gonna be.
Speaker 4:So it's about this girl, her growing up. Her bunch of her mom's friend were kids. They were killed by the sweet 16 killer because he stabbed him 16 times when they were 16. But she ends up going back to the past, to the 80s, and she is the killer was coming after her now and the in the our time and then. So she's shocked at like she goes into school to try and prevent it and she's like I'm a new transfer from and she's like trying to create this line. The secretary's like I don't give a fuck, here's your schedule, get out of here. And she's like the 80s are nuts.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was such a like weird time when we have these cases that are like take place, you know, even just like in the 80s. It's like you just could go around and be like this is who I am, I would like to have a job, and no one checked to see if that was really your name or it was just is so.
Speaker 5:Not a lot of verification back then.
Speaker 1:No, they just assumed you were telling the truth.
Speaker 5:Yeah, a shift in culture, Maybe so it was for sure. Cool. Well, that was pretty crazy. Do you still live right now?
Speaker 1:He's about 76 now. Yeah, 75 still in super max. Yeah, I guess we said we still in super max over there.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think. I think what I read was that he had another parole hearing this year 24 years later, another one in two years? Yeah, they start doing that, like once you start getting them, it's like they do them every few years.
Speaker 5:The thing about getting old in age two is they start to become really really expensive. Yeah, medically yeah well, but it's just kill them. I know that's what. I've been saying kill me the get-go. That's what I fucking said. What's the family? Do it. It's your fault, it's, or let me do it. I am happy to donate nine mil rounds to no. No, no, no no people today 22 millimeter or 22 millimeter. Judo's priest. That's expensive.
Speaker 4:I don't have that kind of money.
Speaker 5:That's big. We get this 22 millimeter out here real quick.
Speaker 4:I'll launch it at your ass and rice.
Speaker 5:The event is, I don't have a 22 millimeter gun, so I should have to throw it at you. Drop it from dropping on your head from like five stories up 22 oh yeah, we talked about that on one of our episodes where we talked about the death penalty, mm-hmm, and we said that man, tell you what if we were on the firing squad? We had us three on the party squad. We would not like you're supposed to shoot at the heart. Yeah, and you have paper on. You have like five shooters.
Speaker 5:Yeah and one of you has a blank yes, so you don't know which one shot. Yeah, think about it is, if we, the savages, are on the line to shoot this guy, none of us are gonna shoot the heart, no, we're gonna shoot like, like, we're gonna shoot the balls and the shoulder and the hip, yeah, and his motherfuckers gonna be up there. And all of us are gonna shoot at extremities and make fuck. Who hit where? I don't know what happened. Nobody killed him. Oh, shit, reload, oh. And we're not gonna shoot for the heart this time either. No, we're gonna for a different extremity fucking kneecaps, kneecaps, taking the ear off your hole. Oh yeah, skim the side, skim it, baby. So seems justified, yeah, especially in this case, this cock. So crow over here.
Speaker 6:I have one more question yeah, so he is a pretty well-known Murderer. Does he have fans that we know? Does he have, like? I was looking? I was actually just trying to look it up, um, and there is a fan site. I'm sure like yeah, I'm sure there is a fan site for a fan site for this guy, so I'm sure like he might have a girlfriend or two.
Speaker 1:I'm sure that they're like it's so, like, how, like, how do you hear that? Like, as a woman.
Speaker 6:You're like yes that's I want.
Speaker 4:You're like I gouging, it was her fault. I get it.
Speaker 3:Victim bring up your mom.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 5:I would never treat you would never wind you up the way that that happens is you get fits as a female Cross-dress Stress about that Trojan horse style. He's all about that how do?
Speaker 4:I can't stalk him you can no you go meet.
Speaker 5:What am I gonna do, joe? He doesn't get visitation. You can write letters pen.
Speaker 6:He might get a conch.
Speaker 4:We should all write a letter to the prison to send to him and just write your mom's a fucking bitch.
Speaker 5:Let's do it.
Speaker 4:Writing campaign.
Speaker 3:So all of our listeners, everybody, write a letter with the address.
Speaker 5:This is a call to action.
Speaker 4:I wanted to eventually where he's getting like three or four hundred letters a day.
Speaker 3:Yes, he's so excited when he gets all this and he's like god damn it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we need to go in like on a PO box or something, though, so that he could write back if he wanted.
Speaker 4:Until until he just ends up killing himself.
Speaker 6:Yes, yeah, that's the goal. That's the goal himself.
Speaker 5:Yeah, self-reduction, we did it. We did a seance here on the savages and your mom says you should kill yourself. Your mom says she's dead because of you.
Speaker 4:It's your fault, your fault and she's a bitch.
Speaker 3:Uterus was rotten should have swallowed just swallow.
Speaker 5:All right, so thank you, that was. That was dark, that was pretty dark. I liked it. That was very informative and British people are wild, so write a letter, tell his mom sucks a lot of times didn't even get right.
Speaker 1:You know he got like at least 20 25 to life at least. You know we did a DV one for Christmas and he didn't get shit and he killed her and then propped her dead body up it on the couch while the kids open Christmas.
Speaker 5:Oh my gosh, I remember listening to that one and losing my mind filmed it, what filmed her kids?
Speaker 3:what opening Christmas killer like Christmas like would pan to her and be any much next to him.
Speaker 1:He put like sunglasses on her and then said told the kids, mommy got drunk and ruined Christmas dude, you need to listen to that one.
Speaker 5:That one was Wild, pretty savage.
Speaker 1:I'm speechless yeah. I think 15 years in California fucking California.
Speaker 4:Let's break him off and send him over to England.
Speaker 5:Debt charges and break it off into the ocean.
Speaker 4:It needs to become. Escape from LA. Yes, I like it.
Speaker 1:We see that movie. No, I feel like I've heard of it.
Speaker 4:Russell, where California is like broken off.
Speaker 1:Oh yes and I listened to all the prisoners.
Speaker 4:It was like just this big island. Yeah, fucking there do is nurse yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm okay with that.
Speaker 5:So our friends over here at the sinners monk saints podcast, they do something kind of like. I mean, it's the, the antithesis of the Savage of the week, it's the soul cleanse because they go through some deep, dark Super.
Speaker 1:Down, and then we try to bring up a little bit.
Speaker 6:Moment to cleanse your soul. Just thing to end on a happy note.
Speaker 5:So we have a submission from Joss she's gonna do the soul cleanse today.
Speaker 6:Yeah, what do?
Speaker 5:you got for the soul cleanse.
Speaker 6:So my best friend and fan of the podcast went to adopt a cat on Valentine's Day and it wasn't for Valentine's Day just happened to be on Valentine's Day. She went to adopt a cat and went to pay the fee and was told he's already been paid. There's a man who comes on Valentine's Day every year and pays for a handful of Adoptions for cats in honor of his late wife and she got her little kitty and it was on on this guy, it was on him.
Speaker 5:Who doesn't love free pussy?
Speaker 4:There was so much that we could have said I was like so Kelsey has a small pussy.
Speaker 1:Okay, Kelsey got some free pussy. I was like what is going?
Speaker 5:on. I was trying to be wholesome over here, that's wholesome.
Speaker 6:That's wholesome.
Speaker 5:He wants to pay for people, his wife's dead. He wants to pay for free pussy.
Speaker 1:He's praying for people to get free pussy. Yes, if I can't get it, someone might have helped.
Speaker 5:I'm gonna help facilitate someone else getting free pussy.
Speaker 1:Good for him.
Speaker 5:Unfortunately, the inverse effect of that is you got a bunch of crazy cat ladies out there. Sorry, kelsey, you're a crazy cat lady.
Speaker 6:So Sorry, jake, you're married to one, you have one cat that Jake knows about.
Speaker 5:You have two pussies though.
Speaker 4:Jake has one cat. Sorry, what Explain that one? Cause the cat's a pussy and Jocelyn's a female and, if you didn't know, boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.
Speaker 1:That's generally what.
Speaker 5:I thought that was implied Apparently. It wasn't.
Speaker 6:I got it.
Speaker 1:Nowadays it's just whatever.
Speaker 5:Oh, kiddo Not, here we don't. We identify as common binomials.
Speaker 6:Okay, Good luck editing this one.
Speaker 5:I like how that soul cleanse just went fucking off. No, that's not awkward, that's real. Okay, it's a beautiful story. We all love pussy, so it comes out to you, especially when it's free.
Speaker 1:So is that?
Speaker 4:free pussy as great as you thought it was gonna be A couple weeks later Even better. Perfect.
Speaker 1:I don't prefer butt.
Speaker 5:You don't prefer butt what?
Speaker 1:You prefer butt to each his own oh.
Speaker 5:Don't prefer butt, so don't go buy pussy cats on Valentine's Day. Then Fair enough. Alright, thanks for the soul cleanse. Now we're gonna go to some badassery in our segment of Savage of the Week. What the fuck was that?
Speaker 4:We're gonna go to our Sounds like somebody from the sex store found them batteries, oh shit.
Speaker 5:I was sending the fucking Terry's link to everybody. Thanks a lot, fucked it up. So Savage of the Week. We're gonna go to Savage of the Week. So this is brought to you by Florida. Thanks, florida, florida, and the location is Doral Amazing golf courses down there, by the way We've got. What happened here is some officers got into a gun battle with a piece of shit and here in the story that I'm reading from a local news agency there in Florida, south Florida 6 states that dramatic new body cam footage shows the moment a Doral police officer traded gunfire with a suspect who ended up dead. Thank goodness that's the best way for a suspect to be During a daytime shootout over two years ago. What the fuck? This is old shit, apparently.
Speaker 6:But the footage Not as old as your other one, I thought it was.
Speaker 5:Yeah, that's true, not quite as old. The footage obtained by NBC6 on Tuesday shows the deadly October 22nd encounter that left 25 year old suspect Jordani Rodriguez Perez dead and two officers hospitalized. Officials said the incident began with a dispute between Rodriguez Perez and another man that led to Rodriguez Perez chasing and shooting at the other man. So this guy's wild and out GTA 6, out chasing a guy down in his car trying to shoot at him. When officers responded, this Perez guy had lost control of his car and crashed into a tree in the area 25th Street and 92nd Avenue, if you all are familiar with Florida. As the two officers approached his car with guns drawn, rodriguez Perez opened fire on them. Officials said Body War Camera footage released Tuesday shows the third officer, daniel well Chara who the fuck knows Arriving in his marked raw police car. Are you gonna have a savage?
Speaker 4:you can't even fucking pronounce the name.
Speaker 5:Well, I don't know, sound it out. Use your syllables. I can't really spell that. Good, it's a little different, valercha. Valercha, I'm not taking fucking.
Speaker 4:I'm not taking pronunciation fucking suggestions from you, valercha, it's Officer, daniel Valercha, could you say that with a less.
Speaker 5:Can you say that with a less German accent, please Officer Daniel Valercha.
Speaker 4:Valercha, valercha. I'll start over Valercha.
Speaker 5:The Body War and Comedy footage released Tuesday shows the third officer, Daniel Valercha Valercha Valercha.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he says it much.
Speaker 5:Thank you. Arriving in his marked police car from Drowell, he starts to get out and is immediately met with gunfire from this Perez guy. So what happens? The cop has to return some fire. The video shows our buddy here, valercha. Sorry if I'm butchering.
Speaker 4:Valercha, valercha Daniel.
Speaker 5:Daniel Daniel's easier right the Money. Daniel Daniel V. So Danny V firing through the windshield, unloading his pistol from inside the car as rounds are seen entering the vehicle. At one point, danny is hit and starts bleeding. He's bleeding pretty profusely and we'll actually put this up on our Savage page on our social media so you guys can see this. It's wild. You can see the blood, you can see that blood bro.
Speaker 5:And drops of blood is seen dripping down. In the video, danny manages to reload his weapon, gets out of the car and once again empties the handgun at the suspect. His hands are seen covered in blood as he uses his radio and then reloads his weapon again. Officials said the Perez guy ran into the parking lot nearby Businesses still armed and Danny and other officers continued to shoot at him until he was struck and fell to the ground. Perez died from his injuries. Officer Johnny Beetlejuice it looks like Beetlejuice they're fucking me up for this day and you want to fucking live in that state.
Speaker 3:Yes, b-e-a-u-t-e-l-u-s Let me see Bootylicious, bootylicious.
Speaker 5:Which one? Which one do you want? Beetlejuice or bootylicious, bootylicious, bootylic, bootygig? Fuck no Pete Buttegig. Our buddy Danny suffered an injury to his face and had to undergo surgery but made full recovery. So he got shot in the face, which we thought, because if you watch the video, blood is streaming down across the body cam. You see his hands in front, which means it's got to be an injury to his upper extremity, his head.
Speaker 4:So it's got to be In the video. He's in the car and he starts taking rounds and then, like a badass, he's like shit. I've got a oh.
Speaker 5:We got Perez over here, just fall down already. Holy fuck, you do quit.
Speaker 4:So in the video he's in the car and he's going to get out, but he starts taking rounds. Yes, and in the video he comes. The best cover you have is your engine block. Well, yeah, but returning fire, right, yeah, for sure, oh, yeah, for sure. And so he does a mag dump and then Dumps it.
Speaker 5:And then, once he has an opportunity, through the windshield, through the windshield, yeah. So then, once he has an opportunity and he's ducking down as he's doing it, trying to get low in the car so he's not taking rounds himself and the engine block is a good place to stop rounds.
Speaker 4:I think we've all done training. At least I know I have. I think you have where you shoot from inside the car out through a window and it's not as awesome as it seems in the movies, no, the engine block is insane, and then the blowback from fragments of glass are coming, and then you can like, but then after he does a mag dump he's able to get out.
Speaker 5:He's like I got to extract myself, improve my fighting position and then you Get out of the fatal funnel we call it fatal funnel Out of the car.
Speaker 4:And then, as he's doing this, he's hit. So he still has the presence of mind like I'm in the fucking fight still.
Speaker 5:Yeah, hit in the face, dude that's, and you can see. I mean, I don't know the exact moment in time, the point in time when he was hit in the face, but it might have been Watch the video. He's inside the car, returns some fire and then it seems like he kind of goes a little bit limp Probably what he takes around, yeah.
Speaker 5:And his hands go down and he's like, fuck this, I'm still in the fight. And you see his hands come back up and he's reloading and firing still and he extracts himself from his vehicle, moves from the driver's side door back towards the rear driver's side area of the vehicle as the suspect runs around the passenger side of the car toward like a field area and he is just dumping rounds, does mag, reload, does a great job with it. It stays in the fight. Even though he's bloody and fucking hit, he's still fight, he's still going, still going, and eventually they tag this piece of shit, put him down. He dies.
Speaker 5:Our buddy, johnny, another cop named Johnny. What's your name too, buddy, sorry about it. We said Beetlejuice. We said beautiful. What did we say? Bootylicious, bootylicious. Johnny B, johnny B Bro Was shot in the arm, while a bystander who was in a delivery truck was hit his leg by a bullet. Both Danny and Johnny, the third officer, involved. You guys get easier, fucking names. I'm sorry you guys come on Rafaello. I'm just going to read this phonetically Uh, cervera, yeah, let's say Cervera, that's good enough. We're later named officers of the year Fuck yeah. By the South Florida Police Benevolent Association, nice, in a memo released on November 23rd, the Miami Dade State Attorney's Office concluded that the officer's actions in this shooting were justified. Thank goodness, cause you never know nowadays.
Speaker 4:Well.
Speaker 5:I don't think they fuck around too much in Florida. So, yeah, they're pretty good down there. Um, so, yeah, it's pretty awesome If you guys will post the video to our social media so you guys can watch it after you. Listen to this episode, uh, it's pretty. I mean, it's intense. Obviously you've been involved in situations like this. It kind of parkens you back to those situations you were in before and, uh, just being shot at in a car is just not optimal. And to make sure that you're on the offensive, putting rounds down range towards the suspect and then improving your fighting position, that's what we look for. Improving your fighting position you take around, guess what? You're not down. You're not down until that computer shuts off. Right, so continue to fight until your last breath is what it comes down to. And this guy, danny, he absolutely did so we commend you, Danny.
Speaker 4:He wasn't going down that day, no he's not today.
Speaker 5:Bro, I'm taking your life, I'm going to snatch that soul. So, thank you, danny, for being the uh, and Johnny, yeah, yeah, being the savage that we need. Yeah, right, so, uh, once again, savage of the week. That was a good one. That was a good one and, uh, I think you guys liked the video. It's awesome. Um, so, do you guys have any, uh, parking lot additions?
Speaker 6:Last takes last day parking lot items. Anything else, I don't think so. I didn't write anything in the parking lot.
Speaker 1:I don't, I don't know what a parking lot is.
Speaker 6:It's where you park your car. I mean I know that in my job I time box people and so if they get a little too long on one topic I'll say let's throw that in the parking lot.
Speaker 5:How did we not have a parking lot? Item.
Speaker 6:And then, if we have time, we revisit the parking lot.
Speaker 5:Obviously the parking lot attendant wasn't doing her job.
Speaker 6:Yeah, you can also say Elmo. No, it's a me Elmo. If Elmo means enough, let's move on. Somebody says Elmo, you got to move on. What did we come up with that? No, that's what we, it's my job.
Speaker 5:That's for the bomb makers. That's what you guys do in a professional environment.
Speaker 6:If you cause, that's their safe word. Like they want to go down every single rabbit hole and like we've got 30 minutes to solve several problems.
Speaker 5:If you're making bombs, that's probably a good thing. You should probably explore all the avenues.
Speaker 6:Not in the daily standup.
Speaker 5:And so you guys miss something and a fucking bomb goes off when it's supposed to. No, then we revisit it in a different way.
Speaker 6:That's not what that meeting's for, though we parked we parking lot that blast radius.
Speaker 5:It's supposed to be 5,000 meters and it makes you feel better. We're going to carry the one my bad.
Speaker 4:Don't forget that one.
Speaker 5:Don't forget it, it'll get you every time.
Speaker 6:We have ceremonies. There's different ceremonies for different problems. All right, elmo, elmo, elmo, elmo. It means no more.
Speaker 5:Park it.
Speaker 3:Park that shit, park, that shit.
Speaker 5:All right. So, anyways, I want to give a special thanks to our friends over here at the centers among saints.
Speaker 1:And again thank you guys for having us. Where can we find you?
Speaker 4:At the end of the table. Facebook In Utah.
Speaker 5:You know shit Socialy on the media Instagram.
Speaker 1:Instagram. Instagram Tiktok, patreon Patreon. We'll also be in Denver in July for podcast festival, so if anyone goes to that.
Speaker 5:Yeah, and your new and your new, only fans.
Speaker 3:Yes, that's right.
Speaker 5:What is it again?
Speaker 3:Sinners in saints, sinners in saints, sinners in saints. That'll be fun. Hard titties Is that what we?
Speaker 5:thought about Martin nipples One is going to be the, the, the, the, the, the the the, the, the, the, the, the the the one is going to be the, the, the, the shades of gray, no One shape, oh one shade Of.
Speaker 4:R��� the shape Gotta remember hips and hips. That's right, cause he's dead.
Speaker 5:The same old version. Hips was hips and nips. It's got to keep it sexy.
Speaker 4:Gotta keep it.
Speaker 5:Connecting, pop them, drums on them, trashcans All right. So seriously though, thanks a lot for coming out. It has been a lot of fun this has been. I know it feels like a marathon sometimes, but I really enjoy it. It this will be, this will be an awesome episode. It's different than anything we've ever done before.
Speaker 3:Yeah, us too, very for you too.
Speaker 5:Hopefully it can be an amalgamation of everything that we do and people, you listeners out there. Hopefully you like it. If you don't go, fuck yourself, yeah, guys, fuck off, fuck off. Is that what you're getting at? Guys, always remember stay savage, stay savage Pussy. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Speaker 3:Try to keep listening, if you want, and on the stand. Yeah.