#25: Healing Burnout by Connecting with Your Future Self

Feeling the weight of running an online business and battling burnout? Today, I'm sharing my personal journey of overcoming burnout and how creating a deeply meaningful personal vision helped me get back on track. Tune in as I discuss the importance of discovering what truly belongs to you and how understanding the intersection of your core values and passions can guide you to your purpose.

Listen as I offer exercises to help you reconnect with your true self and design a personal vision for your ideal future. By developing a clear and vivid image of who you want to become, you can build a pathway to recover from burnout that is not just effective, but also deeply fulfilling. Don't miss this chance to reflect on what sparks your passion and embark on a journey towards healing and a more aligned life.

Discussed in this episode: Burnout, Recovery, Core Values, Mission, Vision, Belonging vs Fitting In

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Transcript

Corinne O'Flynn: 0:00

Hey there, my name is Corinne O'Flynn and you're listening to the Calm Entrepreneur podcast. I am a USA Today best-selling author, non-profit executive and organizing nerd with over 20 years experience running my own small businesses. I teach entrepreneurs, solarpreneurs and small business owners like you how to organize your business, find more time and deepen your alignment practice to experience more calm and confidence every single day. If you're looking for that intersection between practical business advice and spiritual goodness, then you're in the right place. So sit back, relax and let's dive into this week's episode of the Calm Entrepreneur podcast. Welcome, welcome to the Calm Entrepreneur podcast. I'm your host, corinne O'Flynn, and this is episode 25.

Corinne O'Flynn: 0:50

So this week I wanted to talk about burnout and, specifically, my personal pathway to recovering from burnout, and I was reminded of this recently because I'm in the process of moving my online community from a Facebook group to a circle community, which I am loving, by the way. But in the course of creating all the different spaces in my new circle community, i found myself writing about my vision for the community and what I was hoping to foster in the community with the new members, and I talked about this vision I had of a different future as entrepreneurs And in order to get to that vision and in order to write down the complete thought process that brought me there, i had to recall a lot of what did lead me to doing the things that I was doing and to thinking the things that I was thinking. And that path came out of a really deep burnout And I've been thinking about how far I've come from being in that darker burnout place and I wanted to share a little bit about how I found my way through, because if you're running an online business, you're probably no stranger to the relentless pressure right and the seemingly non-stop need for connectivity and all the expectations that we place on ourselves and the ones that are placed on us that we allow in. I think that many of us, at some point or another, experience periods of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion caused by prolonged and excessive stress. Right then, that's burnout. But the process of recovery from burnout can be really challenging and there is no quick fix right there like I wish that there were, but there isn't, and I don't advocate anybody out there who's telling you that there is a quick fix there because there isn't. It's a healing and healing takes time. But there are several things.

Corinne O'Flynn: 2:54

Looking back on my own personal experience that I can see were actually stepping stones toward my recovery, and when I like sit down and enumerate them, they turned into like a series of podcast episodes. I couldn't go into all of them in one episode and give them all the respect that they're due, but when I did list them out, there was one that seemed to be at the core of all of it, and everything kind of centered around developing a vision for myself and for my future. That held deep personal meaning and it sounds trite, i know, but having a clear personal future view of who I wanted to be served as a beacon, and it guided me back to center when all I was feeling was overwhelmed and burned out. So what is this personal vision? so for me, a personal vision is a clear and vivid picture of what I want my ideal personal future to look like and who I want to be in that future. And that sounds easy, but there's a wrinkle in there, because in order to get to that true future, you, in that vision, you really have to identify only the things that are truly yours, and what I mean by that is that you have to also identify the things that other people expect of you, and that's a really big part of this, and this is really just an exercise. The question to ask is who would I be if all I had to do was choose, if nobody else had to say? Because I think that part of what pushes us away from what we really want is this ocean of shoulds and expectations and obligations and the things that we take on for all the reasons you know, wrong or right.

Corinne O'Flynn: 4:46

This is not a place for that kind of value judgment, and I'm not saying that you should cut off everything and everyone in order to recover from burnout not at all. But in this exercise, i think that you should identify the things that you want for you from your heart, identify them and write them down, without consideration of anything external. What does that look like? So a good starting place is to make a list of the things that you love and the things that you love doing. For me, my list included things like drinking hot tea with milk and sugar, holding hands with my husband when we walk around places, all the way up to coaching somebody in need through a problem and hosting a huge charity event for my nonprofit. Your list should include anything that comes to mind, big or small, without guilt or judgment. The only rule is that it has to be something that lights you up, and it doesn't need to light you up in this moment of burnout. It needs to light you up in your future. You. And then the next exercise that I did and I did this like I have. This is all in my journals Think about what it is that you value, like I'm talking like core values, the big character things that we think about, because we all have core values, but I don't know that we really spend a lot of time thinking about them, unless somebody's crossed a line and we're upset because something outside the world has violated our core values.

Corinne O'Flynn: 6:23

But making a list of the things that we consider core values is something that I found really helpful, and the list for me includes things like trust, honesty, essence of humor, being in service to others, doing things in alignment, like you get the drift right. My list has over 40 core values on them, and if you're working through a burnout or you're in a low phase, try to challenge yourself to see how many of these you can identify. So why are these two lists important? I think because when we identify our core values and also the things that light us up. We're only a few clicks away from finding our purpose. And when I talk about purpose, i'm not talking about your job. We are not our jobs. We are not what we do. Right, we're who we are. We are who we be.

Corinne O'Flynn: 7:15

As my quantum human design mentor coach talks about Karen Curry-Parker says, you are not here to do anything. Your purpose here is to be your truest self. So how do we find out who that person is? So consider how your passions and your values intersect. Right, if you were going to draw that out on a piece of paper, what does that Venn diagram look like? How can you use your unique skills and passions to contribute to the world in a way that aligns with your values? The intersection here is what holds the key to what is your purpose, and it's not just identifying these black and white things. It's also like what does it feel like? Where is the sense of purpose coming from?

Corinne O'Flynn: 8:06

And once you have identified that, see if you can envision an ideal future. And I want you to resist the pull of that voice that tells you to stay in reality and think about all the practical things that need doing right. This isn't the time for that. This is an exercise in healing. This is a vision for the future. So when you think about your life one year, five years, ten years or twenty years from now, you're gonna feel cool and Gray. What does that look like when it aligns with your values, includes your passions and fulfills your purpose? For me, that was my vision. That's my personal vision of myself. So what is yours? What is your personal vision?

Corinne O'Flynn: 8:57

Because by developing a meaningful personal vision, you can start creating a pathway of recovery from burnout right, a recovery that's not just effective but it's also deeply fulfilling. And it's not a matter of you know, wake up in the morning and brush your teeth and do these practical things. This is a spiritual healing, and I think that burnout is a whole body thing. It's not just physical, it's your soul, and I think that when we find ourselves in burnout, that's our whole being crying out for relief And we have to heal. It's a healing process.

Corinne O'Flynn: 9:38

Once your personal vision is defined, the key is not just to have it, but to actively start to incorporate it into your daily life, and this practice will help you bring resilience in And it'll help you become less susceptible to setbacks when you're trying to build out of burnout. Because when you have this as this new compass, you can start making shifts, and these are the shifts that align your actions with this new vision. Right. You can start to think about how your everyday decisions and the things that you do align with your personal ideal vision. This is the ideal right. This isn't like some concrete 10-year plan that you've written down and that you have the stair steps to. This is the greater overarching vision. This is the ideal right, because being in alignment with that serves as a reminder of why you're making the decisions right. It's the big, it's the capital W, why. And it helps you stay motivated And it helps keep that passion lit, even during really challenging times.

Corinne O'Flynn: 10:53

And I think that when you start making shifts toward that ideal vision you have to then the next step is you can't help but embrace self-care, right, because then you start to realize that part of your core vision, part of your core values, speaks to taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally. All of those things need to be in alignment in order for you to have any hope of reaching anything near your vision right. So self-care practices are huge, and that includes everything from nutrition and exercise and mindfulness, rest and all those things that we need, and, as somebody who has been there, i understand how hard it is. Right, when you're in the low phase, when you're suffering from burnout, when you are broken and out of energy so completely depleted it's really hard to do anything. So take baby steps on all of those things, focus on the micro until you have the energy for the larger things, and also celebrate small wins. Right, your personal vision is a long-term guide. Right, it's the North Star. It's the larger picture, but it's important to celebrate all the small steps and victories along the way.

Corinne O'Flynn: 12:12

Acknowledging your progress, no matter how small, is a boost. It boosts motivation, it adds positivity and it is incrementally chipping away at burnout. Right, it's all these little things of the medicine. That's the thing that we need to heal. Again, support systems. This is something that comes up so often in my podcasts, but you have to surround yourself with people who support your vision and understand your values and your passions, and the exercise of identifying the things that you love and identifying the things that are your core values will also help you identify the things that aren't, and so, when you identify the things that are the things that you can't budge on. You can't help but identify the things that no longer fit, and when you do that, you then start to find the right people and start putting yourselves in the circles that fit you, because social support is a significant part of healing and burnout recovery. It's what we need to become resilient. It's the place we need to go to find the voice that tells us no, you know what you're doing. All right, you're not losing your mind. This is progress And I'm here for you. So building a support system is I don't know. I feel like self care should include people, other people. And, lastly, i think that it's really important that once you have made these lists, that you keep them handy.

Corinne O'Flynn: 13:50

When I was writing about my manifesto is really what I called it. I called it a welcome manifesto in my new community, because I'm tired of pretending not to feel so strongly this vision. I'm done with making it small. I'm done with trying to make it fit. I was listening to something yesterday on, i think, on Instagram. I forget anymore where I hear things from, but it was Brené Brown, and if you're not familiar with Brené Brown, please Google her and find her Ted Talks.

Corinne O'Flynn: 14:30

Everything that falls out of this woman's mouth is not just gold, it's like a balm for the soul. She speaks truths in ways that I don't think anybody else has before, and something that she talked about in this snippet it was just like a minute that I saw. She said, "The opposite of belonging. She said I was so surprised to discover that the opposite of belonging is fitting in, you know, and when I heard that I was like, oh, like, it was one of those revelation feelings. It was like, oh my God, of course.

Corinne O'Flynn: 15:12

And I asked my family and I said you know, what do you think the opposite of belonging is? And all of them said things like being an outcast or being rejected or, you know, not being part of the group. And fitting in is actually the opposite of belonging. Because when you are fitting in, you're a chameleon, you're putting on a mask, you're wearing a costume, you're showing up in a way to then find acceptance, you're bending to fit a mold, you're not being yourself, whereas belonging Brene Brown says belonging doesn't ask that of us. When you have belonging, you are there fully as you, and so that was so profound to me. It was a wonderful revelation and it's something that I think I'm like never going to stop thinking about it. It's so important, it's vitally important that we understand that we are meant to be who we are And by showing up as anything other.

Corinne O'Flynn: 16:31

That takes a lot of energy. It's a lot of work, and I think that when we do that, that's also something that causes us to push into burnout. I don't think that's deniable, i don't have any data, i'm just going off the cuff here, but I feel that feels true to me, because it's a lot of work trying to fit in And it's a lot of work maintaining that. It's not sustainable. It burns us, it burns too much energy, which leads to burnout, which is why my manifesto came to be.

Corinne O'Flynn: 17:11

Which is why I'm talking about burnout in this episode, because the entire vision of the future that I was able to cultivate by digging deep and really cutting back to the core of who am I? What do I want? Why am I here? What is the perfect future look like. If where I'm at now isn't serving me and the things that I was doing before were not sustainable and landed me in this hole, well, i've got nothing to lose, so I might as well think big right.

Corinne O'Flynn: 17:48

So this future vision, this dream thing that I saw myself in started off with sitting down and thinking about what, if what's possible. And so my core values have bolstered my ability to step into my true self, or at least reveal my true self, and do it in a way that is compassionate and not forceful, but strong and confident. And I say confident not in a way that says I'm not fearful, because I'll tell you that I opened the doors to my community this week and the lump in my throat and the shake in my voice is legit, like it's hard to stand up. And it's even harder to stand up and show yourself when you're showing your true self. And so that's what I'm talking about when I talk about, like, really showing up. But that's the power of the personal vision, because I now understand how knowing my personal vision is what healed my burnout.

Corinne O'Flynn: 19:01

Working only toward my personal vision healed my burnout. Releasing the things that no longer served is what healed me, and I did that by identifying my values like my unshakables These are the non-negotiables and also all the things that I love and believe in that light me up, and I was able to find in there the calm entrepreneur. Like it sounds strange, but that's how this all happened. So if you're listening to this, you are talking to somebody who has come out the other side of burnout and done so in a way that still is. You know, i'm still me, i'm still human. I'm still having a really hard time with a lot of the things, but I'm doing them anyway, because I feel so much more confident in who I am. I did a deep dive into me and came out the other side with my eyes and my heart wide open, and I think that it's something that's accessible to everybody.

Corinne O'Flynn: 20:09

So if you are struggling in burnout, i urge you to really try this. It's a simple enough exercise to understand, but it's not easy to do, because the identification of the things that are 100% you calls out the things that aren't. And once you've decided that these are the things that are you, you have work to do. You have to let things go, and that doesn't mean, you know, burn down the house and pack up the car and drive off and leave your life behind. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the larger, overarching things. You know, i think that there's a balance in there between holding fast to the things and the choices and the life that you have and also shifting toward this vision that you identify for yourself and do it in a sustainable way.

Corinne O'Flynn: 21:04

And I talk about that in my manifesto, which maybe I'll read one day to you guys. But it was really important to me to be able to share that. And I just feel called to talk about burnout with you today because it was brought back up in the opening up of my community. I opened up my community and I invited people in and as soon as I did it, i was like, oh my God, they're going to read my manifesto. What are they going to think? And I was like you know what? I don't know that it matters. What matters to me is that the people that read it, that it resonates with those, are the ones that belong there. And if it doesn't resonate with you, then this is not the community for you.

Corinne O'Flynn: 21:44

It's really like that's one of those things like be yourself right, show up as you, and then you attract all the people to you. And it's so easy to say it. It's easier said than done, but I'm here to say that there's value in it And I think that it's a worthwhile endeavor. And if you do end up taking part in this exercise for yourself, please let me know. I would love to hear what that journey was like for you, because burnout is no joke guys. It's a complex, multifaceted thing that can affect anyone and it hits people regardless of our profession, our lifestyle, our age. It can come from anywhere, at any time.

Corinne O'Flynn: 22:33

But I truly believe that developing a personal vision through the exercise that I illustrated earlier in this episode, you can create a vivid representation of your higher self, this ideal that is steeped in core values and dripping with your passions, and those things get woven together to create a profound sense of purpose And that can be transformative when it comes to healing from burnout. So, in the midst of burnout, when you feel disconnected, in a drift, try to remember that your personal vision can be the thing that guides you back right, that brings you back to you, and this process can help you foster a new path forward. You know, one that not necessarily is devoid of stress and that burnout will never happen again, but it could be more rewarding and more fulfilling and perhaps be more of a compass to prevent us from veering off the path that brings us toward burnout. So I urge you to remember that the journey of recovery from burnout and the pursuit of your personal vision is a marathon. It is not a sprint. It is not a switch that you can flip. It is not an overnight solution. So be gentle with yourself, celebrate your progress and continue to strive toward your ideal future, one step at a time.

Corinne O'Flynn: 23:59

Because you've got this, and if this resonated with you, i would love to hear from you, while I'll put my link in the show notes and you can reach out anytime. Thank you for listening. Remember, part of being a calm entrepreneur is developing the systems, habits and know-how that lets you know that you are the one in the driver's seat. You get to choose how you run your business and you get to choose how you work. So you got this. I hope you enjoyed listening to this episode of the calm entrepreneur podcast. I'm Corinne O'Flynn and if this episode was valuable to you, please head on over and rate and review wherever you consume your podcasts. Please subscribe so you'll never miss an episode. New episodes go out each week on Tuesdays and I look forward to hanging with you again. This is Karin signing off. Have an excellent day.