It's Never Too Late: Reclaiming Your Creative Identity with Clarissa Castillo-Ramsey

In this episode, I sit down with Clarissa Castillo-Ramsey, abstract painter, life coach, and host of the Painting Your Path podcast — for a rich conversation about how she reclaimed her own creative identity and how she coaches her clients, usually women in midlife, to do the same.  We talk about overcoming self-doubt, and building resilience in the face of unexpected challenges.

Clarissa shares her winding journey from retail management to graphic design to finding her true calling as an artist and coach, and how a diagnosis of spasmodic dysphonia — a rare neurological voice disorder — forced her to reimagine her work and reconnect with her deepest purpose.

We also discuss:

• How well-meaning discouragement in childhood can silence our creative instincts for decades
• Practical strategies for processing rejection as a creative person
• Why "giving yourself grace" is the foundation of any creative practice
• Clarissa's work supporting the Altadena community in the aftermath of the devastating 2025 Eaton Fire through art

Whether you're an artist, a creative in midlife, or someone rebuilding after loss, this episode with Clarissa offers genuine wisdom and encouragement.

00:00:12 — Introduction to the show and host Pam Uzzell

00:01:10 — Podcast updates: new schedule and hiatus explanation

00:01:53 — Introduction of guest Clarissa Castillo Ramsey and her background

00:02:37 — Clarissa's diagnosis with spasmodic dysphonia

00:03:08 — Clarissa's resilience and involvement with the Altadena community after the Eaton Fire

00:04:03 — Interview begins; Clarissa introduces herself

00:05:57 — Clarissa's life coaching work with women in midlife

00:07:13 — Growing up and receiving discouraging messages about pursuing a creative career

00:09:33 — The journey back to art: from retail management to graphic design to painting

00:11:40 — Discovering painter Rassouli at Agape International Spiritual Center

00:16:22 — Clarissa's spasmodic dysphonia diagnosis and how it affected her work

00:21:12 — Pam shares her own experience with myotonic dystrophy and voice challenges

00:24:56 — Theories on resilience and what keeps Clarissa going

00:27:55 — Dealing with rejection as a creative person; the TEDx talk rejection

00:36:16 — The Altadena community after the Eaton Fire and the healing power of art

00:39:11 — Where to find Clarissa and her podcast, Painting Your Path

🎙️ Find Clarissa on Instagram: @clarissacastilloramsey.art 🎙️ Listen to her podcast: Painting Your Path. Clarissa's Website.

Transcript

00;00;12;00 - 00;00;31;11
Pam
Do you believe art can change the world? So do I. On this show, we meet artists whose work is doing just that. Welcome to Art Heals All Wounds. I'm your host, Pam Uzzell



00;00;47;02 - 00;01;10;11
Pam
Before we meet today's guest, I want to share a few things. You may start to hear ads in my podcast. I know that ads are very annoying, but it means that the podcast is growing, and it also means that I make a little tiny bit of revenue from these episodes. I think this is a really good thing, and I hope you do too.

00;01;10;14 - 00;01;19;13
Pam
Four weeks ago I restarted the podcast after a very long hiatus because the schedule, along with my day job was not sustainable

00;01;19;15 - 00;01;38;24
Pam
To avoid burning out this time around, my current schedule is four new episodes. Then four weeks off, then four new episodes, and then, you know, you get it. So this episode is the last one for four weeks when I'll return with four more episodes and four more amazing artists.

00;01;38;26 - 00;01;53;27
Pam
Speaking of this hiatus I took, I did a really cool thing during that time. Clarissa Castillo-Ramsey, a painter, podcaster and life coach, invited me on her podcast, Painting Your Path.

00;01;54;00 - 00;02;14;07
Pam
I knew that I would click with Clarissa because her path, like mine, has involved a lot of twists and turns from retail management to graphic design. Then going to a church where she fell in love with the paintings in the sanctuary and returned to her own painting practice. Then her decision to coach people.

00;02;14;09 - 00;02;37;21
Pam
Clarissa primarily works with women who, somewhere in midlife, realize that they need to return to a creative practice as well. A few years ago, Clarissa was diagnosed with spasmodic dysphonia. Spasmodic dysphonia is a chronic neurological voice disorder causing involuntary spasms of the larynx muscles.

00;02;37;23 - 00;02;42;18
Pam
Clarissa, who spoke for a living as a panelist, coach and podcaster,

00;02;42;18 - 00;02;45;05
Pam
Found that she could only speak in a whisper.

00;02;45;11 - 00;03;08;10
Pam
despite this, or maybe because of it, Clarissa is using her voice more than ever now. Her resilience inspires me not only in dealing with this physical challenge, but also as a member of the Altadena community, the Southern California town that suffered from the devastating fire in January of last year.

00;03;08;12 - 00;03;33;22
Pam
We talk about a lot of things, including how to deal with rejection as a creative. In the end, Clarissa brings it back to something she herself practices and always urges her coaching clients to do. Give yourself grace.

00;03;33;25 - 00;03;49;00
Pam
You want to know how you can really help me keep this show going? Follow me on your favorite listening app. So easy. Right? And if you really want to give the show a boost, leave me a five star rating or review.

00;03;49;03 - 00;03;53;15
Unknown
Pop up on.

00;03;53;17 - 00;04;03;03
Pam
Hi Clarissa, thank you so much for coming on to Art Heals All Wounds. I just want people to know that I spoke with you

00;04;03;05 - 00;04;15;14
Pam
last year and at the end of our conversation, I thought, wow, I have so many more things that I'd like to speak to Clarissa about. So I'm so glad you came on the show.

00;04;15;17 - 00;04;19;07
Clarissa
Thank you so much for having me, Pam

00;04;19;09 - 00;04;26;17
Pam
In the intro, I talk about who you are. But do you want to introduce yourself a little bit? Before we get into our conversation?

00;04;26;19 - 00;04;58;24
Clarissa
Sure. Well, what I'll share is that I live in Altadena, California, and at the time of our recording now, it's just after the one year anniversary of the Eaton Fire and Palisades fire. Not, too too far away. And what keeps coming at me is the healing power of art

00;04;58;26 - 00;05;00;15
Clarissa
and how

00;05;00;17 - 00;05;10;17
Clarissa
it is not only continued to help me but also is continuing to help our community.

00;05;10;19 - 00;05;15;01
Clarissa
And so that's really the other thing I just wanted to add.

00;05;15;03 - 00;05;23;17
Pam
Yes. And I know this is not the main question I want to talk to you about, but I do want to ask again, if you're still going to be doing,

00;05;23;22 - 00;05;31;18
Pam
the season about Altadena. Okay. So people should stay tuned for that.

00;05;31;21 - 00;05;32;06
Clarissa
Yeah,

00;05;32;06 - 00;05;44;21
Clarissa
I’ll be highlighting stories of people and organizations who who've, gone through, and who are continuing to support.

00;05;44;24 - 00;05;56;29
Pam
So one thing I know about you is that you are a life coach and you help. I believe mostly women. Only women.

00;05;57;02 - 00;05;59;08
Clarissa
Mostly women.

00;05;59;11 - 00;06;11;11
Clarissa
Yes. In midlife and beyond. Yeah. And, you know, some men resonate with me, too. So I work. I'm not going to discriminate against them.

00;06;11;14 - 00;06;40;13
Clarissa
But really, the people who I'm working with now are in the second half of life, let’s just say. And they're really asking, am I, am I doing all the things that I've wanted to do and for so many of them, it is about coming back to their creative self, whether they're an artist,

00;06;40;16 - 00;06;51;03
Clarissa
art curious or a writer or, or just who has a passion project that they want to bring to life.

00;06;51;05 - 00;06;54;15
Clarissa
So I help them work through that.

00;06;54;18 - 00;07;13;21
Pam
I was reading a little bit about your back story and the story you tell about growing up and whether or not to go towards a creative field or something, quote unquote safer. Really resonated with me.

00;07;13;24 - 00;07;25;26
Pam
I teach at the university level, and so many students talk about that, that they kind of had to really fight to study the creative arts.

00;07;26;00 - 00;07;36;05
Pam
can you talk about what this was like for you growing up and getting what message did you get about going into a creative field?

00;07;36;08 - 00;08;09;20
Clarissa
Yes. So I knew at a young age, that I loved art. It was my favorite class and pre-kindergarten. So not even in kindergarten. And and, I'll never forget having a conversation with my mom. And she asked me, what do you want to be when you grow up? And, I was around five at the time. And I told her, I said, I would I want to be an artist.

00;08;09;23 - 00;08;36;29
Clarissa
and I just remember her saying, oh, what? You're not going to make any money until you're dead, and you won't be famous until after you pass away. And I just remember in that moment thinking, oh my gosh, I made a wrong decision. I can't do this thing for real.

00;08;37;02 - 00;08;40;05
Clarissa
There was also no one in my family.

00;08;40;05 - 00;08;49;20
Clarissa
That I knew of was in a creative field. So there really weren't any examples,

00;08;49;23 - 00;09;10;07
Clarissa
that I could go by. So I do remember thinking I better find something different to pursue. So I did still draw and paint. But it was really more just, as a hobby.

00;09;10;09 - 00;09;11;02
Pam
Yeah.

00;09;11;05 - 00;09;14;16
Pam
you made the decision, though. I would say

00;09;14;16 - 00;09;15;18
Pam
fairly early

00;09;15;20 - 00;09;33;01
Pam
to go back to your passion. And I'm just wondering, what were you feeling in the safe path and then how did you get the courage to just completely pivot and go on this creative path?

00;09;33;04 - 00;10;07;00
Clarissa
I think it over the decades, it's been an iteration after iteration, and I'll, I'll never forget in college I went to business school, but all of my roomates, not all of them, but some of them were in the liberal arts program. So I saw them taking art classes, and I just remember feeling really jealous because in college, I didn't take any art classes.

00;10;07;04 - 00;10;45;21
Clarissa
I stuck to the business route, and, after college, my first job was in retail management. And, you know, there was a lot of great learnings with that, I got, how to manage people and stuff like that, but this art calling kept coming back to me. And so after a few years of doing that retail management, I discovered, another field called graphic design.

00;10;45;21 - 00;10;53;25
Clarissa
And at that time I was living in Boston, Massachusetts, and,

00;10;53;25 - 00;11;13;18
Clarissa
in the late 90s, I'm dating myself. I knew I had to get out of Boston. It was too cold. I couldn't deal with the snow anymore. And so my boyfriend at the time and I moved out to California, and,

00;11;13;18 - 00;11;16;14
Clarissa
I decided to pursue graphic design.

00;11;16;20 - 00;11;40;12
Clarissa
And during that time, when I also tapped back into a spiritual practice and that journey took me to a church called Agape International Spiritual center. And I fell in love with the paintings in the sanctuary.

00;11;40;15 - 00;11;41;15
Pam
Wow.

00;11;41;18 - 00;12;07;24
Clarissa
And discovered that artist. His name is Rassouli. And so I started painting with him again. Started doing art retreats and, this is when I told myself, Okay, girl, you've got to get back to this creative side.And,

00;12;07;24 - 00;12;09;08
Clarissa
ever since then,

00;12;09;11 - 00;12;18;17
Clarissa
I've gotten back into practice, and, Truth be told, some years are better than others.

00;12;18;19 - 00;12;31;23
Clarissa
But, I would say, in the last several years, I've really, really made it a practice. And,

00;12;31;25 - 00;12;39;23
Clarissa
it truly has been self-care practice for me.

00;12;39;25 - 00;13;02;05
Pam
What I find interesting about that is that I think a lot of people in your situation would have just decided to really lean into the art as a hobby as opposed to really saying, no, this is this is my life. There might be other hobbies, but.

00;13;02;09 - 00;13;03;06
Clarissa
Right.

00;13;03;09 - 00;13;05;04
Pam
This is my life and.

00;13;05;04 - 00;13;10;09
Pam
I'm so curious to know, were your parents still alive at that time that you started,

00;13;10;17 - 00;13;12;22
Pam
full time practicing art?

00;13;12;25 - 00;13;13;27
Clarissa
Oh, yes.

00;13;13;27 - 00;13;34;20
Clarissa
and now, like, my mom really regrets what she said. And, you know, no fault to her. I'm not mad at her. She only knew what she knew. But now they, well my father passed away last year, but,

00;13;34;20 - 00;13;43;20
Clarissa
they both totally like, embrace this, you know, passion of mine

00;13;43;20 - 00;13;47;15
Clarissa
They see how much I enjoy it, right?

00;13;47;20 - 00;13;50;26
Clarissa
So we have come full circle.

00;13;50;29 - 00;13;59;14
Pam
you know, this may be something that you've probably heard as well, but parents want us to be safe first and happy second.

00;13;59;17 - 00;14;00;10
Clarissa
Yes.

00;14;00;14 - 00;14;28;27
Pam
And you said where I was reading about your background, that this was all done with love. You know, when you're when your mother was discouraging you to be an artist because she was worried for you, that you would not make any money? And I think so often that's what makes it a hard decision is because if it's done with love, it can really make you doubt yourself.

00;14;28;27 - 00;14;51;23
Clarissa
For sure. And I think that's why this path to finally get here has been One of, two steps forward, three steps back. Let me dabble in some creativity here, but not allow myself to fully connect to it.

00;14;51;23 - 00;14;59;27
Clarissa
it's taken some time, but I'm I'm. I'm embracing it. I call myself an abstract artist and

00;14;59;28 - 00;15;00;19
Clarissa
I love it.

00;15;00;26 - 00;15;03;08
Clarissa
I love what I'm doing.

00;15;03;11 - 00;15;07;18
Clarissa
At first it was challenging because,

00;15;07;18 - 00;15;15;15
Clarissa
I did doubt myself. And I hear this story from so many of my clients.

00;15;15;15 - 00;15;18;06
Clarissa
They think is my art good enough.

00;15;18;08 - 00;15;21;12
Clarissa
and they just get so hard on themselves.

00;15;21;16 - 00;15;31;08
Clarissa
And I like to approach art from. Okay, before you get all into that.

00;15;31;10 - 00;15;40;15
Clarissa
What do you connect? You know what connects you to art? What do you enjoy about it? So think about that first.

00;15;40;16 - 00;15;45;09
Clarissa
It's taken some time to get here. I feel like,

00;15;45;11 - 00;15;46;18
Clarissa
I've gotten here,

00;15;46;18 - 00;15;50;29
Clarissa
after doing lots of inner work and just coming to

00;15;50;29 - 00;15;53;04
Clarissa
accept that

00;15;53;07 - 00;15;57;09
Clarissa
I've got to live for what makes me happy, too.

00;15;57;12 - 00;15;58;29
Pam
Right? Right.

00;15;58;29 - 00;16;22;24
Pam
The other thing we talked about when you and I talked last week is that since you started and I do want people, I said it when we're first talking, but for it to be really clear that you have your own podcast called Painting Your Path and that you got this diagnosis with your voice. And I'm wondering if you can talk about that,

00;16;22;27 - 00;16;25;03
Pam
really how it started.

00;16;25;03 - 00;16;29;17
Pam
How did you notice that something was happening with your voice, was it a gradual. And

00;16;29;17 - 00;16;39;12
Pam
just your journey from there. Working with an unexpected health issue that you couldn't have foreseen.

00;16;39;14 - 00;16;40;07
Clarissa
Ok.

00;16;40;10 - 00;16;48;16
Clarissa
I got diagnosed with spasmodic dysphonia. In 2023 in April.

00;16;48;19 - 00;16;54;24
Clarissa
I noticed that my voice was starting to shift a little bit,

00;16;54;24 - 00;16;56;19
Clarissa
in the preceding months.

00;16;56;21 - 00;16;57;08
Clarissa
And,

00;16;57;08 - 00;17;05;15
Clarissa
I had gotten. over, I don't know, it was the flu. It may have been Covid,

00;17;05;17 - 00;17;08;12
Clarissa
but, I was sick, and,

00;17;08;12 - 00;17;11;03
Clarissa
so I just thought this is,

00;17;11;03 - 00;17;15;14
Clarissa
the aftermath of that, and,

00;17;15;16 - 00;17;23;25
Clarissa
it really presented itself when I, I was on a speaker panel for,

00;17;23;27 - 00;17;25;09
Clarissa
an event called

00;17;25;09 - 00;17;27;24
Clarissa
Celebrating Our Voices.

00;17;27;27 - 00;17;42;22
Clarissa
And I thought, oh, my God, how ironic, celebrating our voices. I can't even make a sound. And, thankfully I had a microphone so people could hear me.

00;17;42;25 - 00;17;53;26
Clarissa
when my voice didn't get better, and it was really, regulated to just a whisper. I just literally couldn't

00;17;53;26 - 00;18;00;18
Clarissa
make sound, And that’s when I got the diagnosis

00;18;00;20 - 00;18;16;01
Clarissa
I have spasmatic dysphonia. It's a rare vocal condition, neurological condition, and they don't know what causes it, but it typically comes,

00;18;16;01 - 00;18;24;23
Clarissa
with high stress, vocal overuse. They say it's possibly hereditary

00;18;24;23 - 00;18;46;05
Clarissa
and you can get it after some kind of illness. And so I checked all of the boxes except hereditary, because I don't know anyone in my family who has this, and it was super tough, Pam.

00;18;46;08 - 00;18;50;02
Clarissa
I mean, I'm a coach, I'm a podcaster.

00;18;50;08 - 00;18;58;16
Clarissa
talking is my business. I facilitate classes, retreats.

00;18;58;19 - 00;19;10;22
Clarissa
once I got this diagnosis, I kind of stopped working, because it was too stressful.

00;19;10;25 - 00;19;19;04
Clarissa
I don't know if you think this, but I think when things happen to our bodies.

00;19;19;07 - 00;19;21;14
Clarissa
There's something going on,

00;19;21;14 - 00;19;24;26
Clarissa
emotionally and energetically

00;19;24;26 - 00;19;26;00
Clarissa
that you can't,

00;19;26;00 - 00;19;43;10
Clarissa
not look at. So what was happening also in that time of my life was at the business I started at the end of 2020 was no longer the business that

00;19;43;13 - 00;19;45;28
Clarissa
lit me up.

00;19;46;01 - 00;19;55;01
Clarissa
I think this vocal condition reminded me, Girlfriend, you need to speak your truth. What's going on?

00;19;55;05 - 00;20;10;13
Clarissa
What are you not saying? And and so 2023. Yeah. I really thought about Who do I want to work with and why?

00;20;10;15 - 00;20;19;05
Clarissa
And, what are the topics I really want to help people with. What kind of transformation,

00;20;19;05 - 00;20;30;29
Clarissa
feels in alignment with me. Right. And I think, you know, coming back to, that artist self I still had

00;20;30;29 - 00;20;33;09
Clarissa
more to grow around that

00;20;33;10 - 00;21;05;09
Clarissa
And so fast forward to today, I truly am enjoying helping people. Women primarily especially in this stage of life to connect back to that creative curiosity and not even to become best-selling artist. But just to connect back to self-expression and

00;21;05;09 - 00;21;08;02
Clarissa
who they are.

00;21;08;05 - 00;21;12;28
Pam
That's really fascinating. We talked when we talked last year.

00;21;13;01 - 00;21;21;19
Pam
I mean, for me, I got the diagnosis of myotonic dystrophy 29 years ago, nearly 30 years ago. But really,

00;21;21;19 - 00;21;36;04
Pam
the person most affected in my family is my daughter. And I really haven't thought about it for myself until recently. And I told you that I noticed that sometimes my tongue just completely freezes.

00;21;36;06 - 00;21;42;28
Pam
And when I do try to speak, I. It sounds like I've been drinking quite heavily or something. And,

00;21;42;28 - 00;21;46;11
Pam
I've had some very embarrassing moments

00;21;46;14 - 00;22;12;11
Pam
especially as a teacher, I leave a lot of my feedback as video feedback and there is that sense, which I don't know how helpful there is, but there is that sense that there's a power hierarchy and that if your instructor appears to be inebriated when she's trying to talk to you, it's probably not a good thing.

00;22;12;11 - 00;22;17;15
Pam
And for me, mine really is exacerbated by stress.

00;22;17;17 - 00;22;17;24
Clarissa
Yeah.

00;22;17;28 - 00;22;19;25
Pam
So, you know, because,

00;22;19;25 - 00;22;59;00
Pam
with myotonic dystrophy, there's, myotonia, where your muscles freeze and you can't release them. And usually it happens in your hands. But I know several people who have this issue with their tongues. And if I'm stressed, I'm really actually just doing that because it's kind of click in, I'm kind of pushing my tongue against the back of my teeth and then when I try to speak, there are several seconds, you know, maybe anywhere from five to 30s for my muscle to be able to relax and be able to speak.

00;22;59;01 - 00;23;21;01
Pam
I did have that feeling really, of this is so ironic. I'm speaking all the time and sometimes I am a bit, even if I'm not stressed. Sometimes when I'm doing a podcast or speaking on a panel and they say, okay, we're going to each have you go down the line to introduce yourselves?

00;23;21;04 - 00;23;36;13
Pam
I think, please call on me first. Please call on me first, because then I can say it while my tongue is still relaxed. But if I have to wait, you know, I'm feeling a little bit nervous about speaking. It can happen. And so.

00;23;36;16 - 00;24;03;02
Pam
It's interesting. And then it's also just interesting for me now at this point in my life, to realize, yes, of course, you should worry about the effect on your daughter, but you also have to care for yourself. And for so many years I, I just really didn't even think about the effects that this might have for me.

00;24;03;05 - 00;24;12;18
Pam
I mean, I, I'm generally a really optimistic person, which I err maybe on the side of like, you know, everything's fine.

00;24;12;23 - 00;24;12;27
Pam
Yeah.

00;24;13;03 - 00;24;17;01
Clarissa
Me too. Me too. I can relate, Pam.

00;24;17;03 - 00;24;22;25
Pam
Yeah. So I think one of the things I wanted to ask you about.

00;24;22;25 - 00;24;56;09
Pam
Relating to all of this is, I know you're saying that you knew that you had to get in touch with, like, what it was that you weren't saying. But also, I feel like one thing you're demonstrating is a lot of resilience around. I mean, I'm imagining that podcasting is a passion for you, and speaking on panels and things like that is a passion for you.

00;24;56;11 - 00;25;12;22
Pam
And that, you know, I know just from listening to your show that I've gotten a lot of value out of it. And I'm wondering if you have any theories about your own resilience besides being an optimistic person. What do you think?

00;25;12;24 - 00;25;27;24
Clarissa
Oh, that's such a great question, Pam. So, I will say, I think I had some good modeling, excellent modeling with my mom.

00;25;27;27 - 00;25;33;10
Clarissa
just being, a Filipino doctor,

00;25;33;13 - 00;25;35;06
Clarissa
in the 70s

00;25;35;06 - 00;25;36;12
Clarissa
and all the

00;25;36;12 - 00;26;06;12
Clarissa
adversity. And as a I mean, you can pick up on these things as a kid. And just like, seeing her toughness and she's like, five foot, five foot two, you know, this petite woman is a powerhouse. So I think having seen her just be a strong.

00;26;06;15 - 00;26;10;04
Clarissa
Strong force to reckon with.

00;26;10;07 - 00;26;21;09
Clarissa
and she has truly been, like, there for me, even though she told me, oh, you can't be an artist. But truly, just growing up,

00;26;21;12 - 00;26;26;11
Clarissa
in my corporate working years, she also

00;26;26;13 - 00;26;33;08
Clarissa
has been here for me when it was tough to get a job. She sent me this plaque.

00;26;33;09 - 00;26;44;17
Clarissa
that says behind every successful woman is herself. So I still have it on my bookshelf over there.

00;26;44;19 - 00;27;06;11
Clarissa
I just feel like, you know, that that modeling from my mom and, I feel like once I have a vision to do something, I don't always know the timeline. I am a huge proponent for vision boards.

00;27;06;11 - 00;27;12;08
Clarissa
So, doing that, has also, I think, help me just,

00;27;12;08 - 00;27;14;28
Clarissa
stay resilient

00;27;15;01 - 00;27;27;20
Clarissa
I think with every adversity, every challenge, there's always a lesson, we can choose to take from it.

00;27;27;20 - 00;27;32;28
Clarissa
And so I think all of those things that help me just to

00;27;32;28 - 00;27;42;05
Clarissa
continue on the path. And I also think what else am I gonna do, you know?

00;27;42;07 - 00;27;55;22
Pam
Right. And I, god I love that behind every successful woman is herself. I love that I'm gonna repeat that to myself from time to time. You know, one of your episodes

00;27;55;22 - 00;27;57;27
Pam
that I found really helpful,

00;27;58;00 - 00;28;11;22
Pam
in this particular episode, you talked about applying to do a Ted talk and that they send you that polite rejection that all of us in the creative field knows so, so well. And.

00;28;11;22 - 00;28;27;00
Pam
I listened to you kind of talk to yourself, like in moving beyond this disappointment. And how do you coach especially creative people on how to move

00;28;27;03 - 00;28;38;14
Pam
beyond the disappointment of the rejection because you get rejected so much as a creative person? How do you help people move beyond that?

00;28;38;16 - 00;28;40;14
Clarissa
That is such a great question.

00;28;40;18 - 00;28;41;23
Clarissa
so many things

00;28;41;23 - 00;28;44;17
Clarissa
are flashing in my mind

00;28;44;20 - 00;29;01;25
Clarissa
I think first and foremost is to acknowledge the disappointment, feel the feels, as they say, and, don't bypass it if you're mad.

00;29;01;27 - 00;29;14;05
Clarissa
Don't hurt yourself. Don't hurt anyone or other property. But, maybe you punch a pillow and just let out your frustration. Maybe you cry. Yeah, I think I cried.

00;29;14;07 - 00;29;24;26
Clarissa
I thought for sure I was gonna get a yes, and I didn't. And so feel the feels. So.

00;29;24;29 - 00;29;34;19
Clarissa
I think we get to ask ourselves, okay, what can I learn this.

00;29;34;21 - 00;29;39;15
Clarissa
All right. What are the facts? This is the first time I ever

00;29;39;15 - 00;29;48;20
Clarissa
applied to do a TEDx talk, so. Okay, you.

00;29;48;23 - 00;29;50;12
Clarissa
Maybe. Yeah, I,

00;29;50;15 - 00;30;17;22
Clarissa
I missed out on something. Yeah, but at least I went for it. And so with my clients, I just really encourage them to, remember, this could be your first time having an art show, teaching a class, writing a book. Give yourself grace and just,

00;30;17;22 - 00;30;20;21
Clarissa
focus on,

00;30;20;24 - 00;30;21;26
Clarissa
what's the purpose?

00;30;21;26 - 00;30;28;26
Clarissa
on whatever it is that you're doing and connect with that. Connect with your why?

00;30;28;29 - 00;30;34;17
Clarissa
what can you do to make it a fun process and,

00;30;34;17 - 00;30;42;28
Clarissa
let off the pressure because that's just not gonna help. And it's something that,

00;30;42;28 - 00;30;45;11
Clarissa
I like to remind my clients

00;30;45;11 - 00;30;46;01
Clarissa
is,

00;30;46;01 - 00;30;50;25
Clarissa
they've done something, you know, challenging before.

00;30;50;27 - 00;31;27;02
Clarissa
So tap back into those moments of the things you already accomplished. Think back to the first time you ever drove a car. It. Oh, you're not the expert driver the first time around. So this is true with anything new that you're doing, so if you can give yourself grace after you have your tantrum and adjust, just, you know, don't give up.

00;31;27;04 - 00;31;32;06
Clarissa
Learn from it. See if you can get feedback on,

00;31;32;06 - 00;31;51;17
Clarissa
whatever it is you're trying to do if you got rejected. And what's that saying. You can be the most delicious peach in a bunch, but not everyone is gonna like peaches. So,

00;31;51;17 - 00;31;58;05
Clarissa
we’re not meant for everyone, and we’ll resonate with

00;31;58;07 - 00;32;01;03
Clarissa
who gets us.

00;32;01;05 - 00;32;18;16
Pam
Wow. That's very good. I think I often don't want to feel those feelings. I mean, now, at this point, if I try for a grant, for example, or something, and I get

00;32;18;16 - 00;32;32;14
Pam
the rejection, I don't really sit with the disappointment. I think I kind of now just like, like, you know, have a little bit of numbness about the rejection.

00;32;32;18 - 00;32;33;03
Clarissa
Yeah.

00;32;33;07 - 00;32;43;21
Pam
Which I don't think is I mean, I don't want to fall apart with every rejection, but I think that I don't really allow that disappointment,

00;32;43;24 - 00;32;49;11
Pam
which I'm actually feeling, but I just try and brush past it as fast as possible.

00;32;49;13 - 00;33;06;10
Clarissa
And I get that. And I know for me, I did, I think I did, just too much did not even, not even allow, any feeling except move on.

00;33;06;13 - 00;33;08;22
Clarissa
and I'm happy to share this, too.

00;33;08;24 - 00;33;21;15
Clarissa
I've gone to therapy over my life, like, off and on and the last therapist that I saw was a bio energetics therapist.

00;33;21;15 - 00;33;55;17
Clarissa
So what I loved about that work was, whatever emotions, I was feeling, we often let it out through some kind of screaming into a pillow or, you know, or just throwing an adult tantrum, to let it out, and, and it didn't have to be for too long. But just, help, help myself process, so.

00;33;55;19 - 00;33;59;27
Clarissa
I mean, I didn't do that, until I was,

00;33;59;29 - 00;34;08;23
Clarissa
well into adulthood. And, so it's still kind of new ish for me.

00;34;08;26 - 00;34;18;02
Pam
Right. But I think that's really interesting because I think if I really examine.

00;34;18;04 - 00;34;18;17
Pam
Not

00;34;18;17 - 00;34;24;12
Pam
dwelling with the sadness or the disappointment.

00;34;24;14 - 00;34;55;00
Pam
I think there gets to be sometime it's like a little tiny seed of bitterness that isn't processed, which I notice, and it's like, well, again, this is so competitive. Why are you taking it? You know, like the there could definitely be different ways to, to change a grant proposal, but that doesn't mean that you have to take it personally.

00;34;55;05 - 00;35;10;10
Clarissa
And in fact, I applied for a grant. It was a big one. And, I've never done that before. I asked for a lot of money, Yeah, and

00;35;10;13 - 00;35;13;27
Clarissa
I got a rejection letter. Yeah. And,

00;35;13;27 - 00;35;30;18
Clarissa
I remember feeling so disappointed because, I poured hours into it. But at the same time, I also had a friend who regularly applies for grants.

00;35;30;18 - 00;35;42;00
Clarissa
And she said, just so you know, Clarissa, you are applying for a major, major grant. And,

00;35;42;03 - 00;35;45;01
Clarissa
and I said, okay, great. And so,

00;35;45;01 - 00;36;02;20
Clarissa
at the same time, that gave me some solace, knowing, oh, okay. There's something to learn here. And at least I went through that process. So now I know what it's like,

00;36;02;20 - 00;36;08;27
Clarissa
and I can maybe ask different questions the next time.

00;36;08;29 - 00;36;16;10
Clarissa
I hear you, it's it's still a disappointment. Like, not gonna, you know, gloss over that.

00;36;16;12 - 00;36;36;25
Pam
Right? Right. And then this for me, kind of brings me full circle to you talking about Altadena. Because I don't live in Altadena. I've been down to Southern California many times. I love L.A. in general,

00;36;36;25 - 00;36;50;26
Pam
but I've never lived in L.A. I've never lived in Altadena, certainly, but I remember even just feeling such grief, hearing about this community and how incredibly special

00;36;50;26 - 00;36;52;02
Pam
it is.

00;36;52;05 - 00;37;02;11
Pam
And I just caught myself. I was about to say it was, but I want to say it is because I think there's always this this,

00;37;02;11 - 00;37;15;05
Pam
impulse to sort of sound the death knell for a place when it's faced such a huge tragedy. But then in talking to you and then even reading a few articles, it almost feels like

00;37;15;05 - 00;37;20;14
Pam
a lot of the community has your same kind of resilience.

00;37;20;17 - 00;37;52;01
Clarissa
I would say so. And, this fire as devastating as it was has truly had I think, Altadena closer together. I sadly I mean, I work for myself, I work from home. I'm inside a lot. So this tragedy forced everyone to

00;37;52;01 - 00;37;53;06
Clarissa
get out,

00;37;53;06 - 00;38;02;12
Clarissa
find resources together. And that's what we did. And I have met so many of my neighbors.

00;38;02;14 - 00;38;04;22
Clarissa
There are so many groups that

00;38;04;22 - 00;38;18;24
Clarissa
are supporting Altadena, and I'm on the wellness committee at this group called Eaton Fire Collaborative. And,

00;38;18;24 - 00;38;32;29
Clarissa
I'm gonna be doing therapeutic, art sessions throughout the year for the community. And you and I both know art heals all wounds. Yeah.

00;38;32;29 - 00;38;49;02
Clarissa
and there’s so any programs out there, And I'm really just in awe of how this group, this community has truly, truly banded together.

00;38;49;04 - 00;38;53;29
Pam
That is so wonderful to hear. Really.

00;38;53;29 - 00;38;58;29
Pam
I think on that note, I'm going to let you go. I know it's late in the afternoon.

00;38;59;02 - 00;39;11;22
Pam
But before we go, I want you to tell people how they can find out more about you and follow your podcast and any other projects you might be taking on.

00;39;11;25 - 00;39;42;10
Clarissa
Thanks, Pam. So the name of my podcast is Painting Your Path and Pam was a guest? So tune in to that episode for sure and you can find me on Instagram under. It's really long. It's my entire name, Clarissa Castillo Ramsey dot Art. And I would say the podcast and Instagram are the two places I hang out the most.

00;39;42;13 - 00;39;54;23
Pam
Well, thank you so much and I am really excited just to tune in to your season on Altadena and the fire. I think it's going to be really, really inspiring.

00;39;54;25 - 00;40;00;13
Pam
I'm really glad that you're on the show and I'm glad that you are involved with rebuilding that community.

00;40;00;15 - 00;40;03;29
Clarissa
Thank you so much, Pam.

00;40;04;01 - 00;40;18;06
Pam
And you're listening to Art heals all wounds from.

00;40;18;08 - 00;40;22;19
Speaker 2
One.

00;40;22;22 - 00;40;48;24
Pam
Thank you so much to Clarissa Castillo-Ramsey for sharing her path to becoming an artist and coach. I'll leave links to her podcast and Instagram in the show notes. I hope you join me in following her season in painting your path that shares stories of the Altadena community after the Eaton Fire. Thanks for listening today. If you want to keep in touch, please reach out to me through my website.

00;40;48;25 - 00;40;53;16
Pam
Arthealsallwoundspodcast.com. and sign up for my newsletter.

00;40;53;19 - 00;40;56;29
Pam
I'll be converting my mailing list to a Substack very soon.

00;40;57;04 - 00;41;01;25
Pam
If you hate being bombarded by so many Substack and news notes,

00;41;01;28 - 00;41;04;00
Pam
you should definitely sign up for mine.

00;41;04;03 - 00;41;10;01
Pam
I hardly ever write. Take care and see you back in four weeks.

00;41;10;04 - 00;41;21;26
Speaker 1
the music you've heard in this podcast was by Ketsa and Lobo Loco..