Navigating Life's Journey with Faith: Barbara Culver's Testimony of Love, Purpose, and Resilience
Mar 29, 2024Episode 66
Doug & Leslie Davis
When Barbara Culver joined us, her words painted a vivid tapestry of a life utterly transformed by faith. Her story, which we're thrilled to share with you, begins with a lonely childhood and unfolds into a rich narrative of love, purpose, and the profound influence of Scripture. As she recounts her path to becoming a cherished teacher of the Word and a guide to many searching souls, you'll feel the warmth of her spirit that has touched the lives of countless students. She brings to light the pivotal moments where church camps played a role in nurturing young believers, revealing the potency of being truly loved and understood.
Barbara's testament doesn't end with personal growth; it's interwoven with the strength of marriage, her husband's spiritual awakening, and the serendipity of ministry that neither of them expected. Nearly six decades of unity stand as a testament to their unwavering commitment, grounded in the wisdom of scriptures and the sovereignty of God. Together, we explore the challenges and triumphs of married life, affirming the transformative sanctuary that a partner's faith can provide. Her anecdotes of prayer's power in her own marriage remind us all of the unshakable foundation it can build for any couple.
Even through health struggles that would deter many, Barbara's tenacity shines. Her passion for quilting persists, bolstered by her reliance on the Holy Spirit, and her decision to venture into podcasting at 75 years old underscores a relentless spirit. We're eager to share her engaging podcast, It's His Story, to our listeners, for it is a reservoir of wisdom and hope. Her experiences offer solace and encouragement, and we, Doug and Leslie Davis, send our prayers for your own marital bonds and spiritual journeys. Barbara's resilience and deep-seated faith serve as a beacon for all of us navigating life's ebbs and flows.
When Barbara Culver joined us, her words painted a vivid tapestry of a life utterly transformed by faith. Her story, which we're thrilled to share with you, begins with a lonely childhood and unfolds into a rich narrative of love, purpose, and the profound influence of Scripture. As she recounts her path to becoming a cherished teacher of the Word and a guide to many searching souls, you'll feel the warmth of her spirit that has touched the lives of countless students. She brings to light the pivotal moments where church camps played a role in nurturing young believers, revealing the potency of being truly loved and understood.
Barbara's testament doesn't end with personal growth; it's interwoven with the strength of marriage, her husband's spiritual awakening, and the serendipity of ministry that neither of them expected. Nearly six decades of unity stand as a testament to their unwavering commitment, grounded in the wisdom of scriptures and the sovereignty of God. Together, we explore the challenges and triumphs of married life, affirming the transformative sanctuary that a partner's faith can provide. Her anecdotes of prayer's power in her own marriage remind us all of the unshakable foundation it can build for any couple.
Even through health struggles that would deter many, Barbara's tenacity shines. Her passion for quilting persists, bolstered by her reliance on the Holy Spirit, and her decision to venture into podcasting at 75 years old underscores a relentless spirit. We're eager to share her engaging podcast, It's His Story, to our listeners, for it is a reservoir of wisdom and hope. Her experiences offer solace and encouragement, and we, Doug and Leslie Davis, send our prayers for your own marital bonds and spiritual journeys. Barbara's resilience and deep-seated faith serve as a beacon for all of us navigating life's ebbs and flows.
Welcome to the Vision Driven Marriage podcast. If you're struggling in your marriage, or maybe you're wondering if it's even salvageable, before you give up or before you let things get too hard, let us come alongside you and help you solidify your marriage. We offer biblical encouragement and insight to help you strengthen your marriage. We offer biblical encouragement and insight to help you strengthen your marriage. Welcome to the Vision Driven Marriage podcast. We're Doug and Leslie Davis, and today we have a special guest with us. She's going to tell us a little bit about her story and about her podcast that's called His Story.
Speaker 3:
Today we have Barbara Culver joining us from North. What where did you say, barbara? Kentucky, midwest, midwest.
Speaker 1:
Midwest Kentucky.
Speaker 3:
You just said that and I just lost it. So Midwest Kentucky is where Barbara is joining us and she is going to tell us a little bit about her story and how the Lord has worked in her life, and about her podcast.
Speaker 1:
Welcome Barbara. Thank you, Tell us a little bit about your story.
Speaker 2:
My story began when I was six years old. I had lived with aunts and uncles for the first five years of my life because my dad had gotten custody of me and he was a truck driver, so he was never around. So I was raised by his siblings. But when he remarried I came to live with my dad and my stepmother, whom had no children and did not want children, and made it very plain in my life and did not want children and made it very plain in my life. I did not grow up in a Christian home, but at the age of six my dad drove six blocks when there was a church right behind my house. I could have walked to let me out at a church he had never been in in his entire life and a place where I did not know that first person, not anyone. But I never felt out of place in that place and it was there that they would tell me every Sunday how much Jesus loved me. Only I would go home and say they don't love me because it seems I'm unlovable. Nobody wants to love me because it seems I'm unlovable. Nobody wants to love me. Then, at the age of nine, my church gave me my very first Bible.
Speaker 2:
Now, as a nine-year-old girl who loved to read and wasn't allowed to do a whole lot of things other than that it was a book, I did not think about it being the word of God, although I had heard the stories. Now I was going to get to read the stories and so it was just a book for me. So I just began in Genesis, not knowing any better, and I read all the way to Revelation. I didn't understand one word that I read, not one. But it was a book that I could not seemingly lay down and never pick up again. It kept drawing me to it and so, before I ever accepted the Lord, I had read it all the way through three times. Now I didn't understand much more that third time than I did the first time, but it just spoke to me.
Speaker 2:
Then, at the age of 15, I went to a summer camp and it was there. I heard, I assume, the voice of the Holy Spirit saying that, or Jesus saying come to me, just come to me. And I said I can't do that. And I heard it the second time and I said you can't love me like you love the people I read about in this book. And I heard it a third time. Well, I left summer camp, come home. And those words just kept. I left summer camp, come home. And those words just kept ringing in my ears. And so, on my 16th birthday, I walked the aisle of my church and, for the first time in my life, I knew I was loved.
Speaker 1:
I don't know what he did.
Speaker 2:
I don't know how he did it, I just knew that I was loved. So that was my journey coming to him, and I've never, ever regretted that for 61 years.
Speaker 1:
I am so grateful for not only what God did in your life, but for those church camps. We had the privilege Leslie and I had the privilege for years to work with a church camp, but we saw God call so many kids to himself. I am so thankful that at that camp God called you to himself. And so what else is part of your story? I see that you teach. How has teaching the word really impacted you?
Speaker 2:
Oh, I mean, that's how I've learned what the word is. He started me out teaching kindergartners and, uh, every time they moved up, he moved me up. And so the time that my kindergartners became high school students, I was still their teacher and I kept telling them. I said y'all got to be tired of listening to me. And they said, oh, no, no, we're not. Well, I'm sure they were, but that's okay. But uh, and I tell people all the time, you start teaching the word and you're going to learn more about the word, because you have to dig a little harder and a little deeper to find out what the word really means. So I taught high school students for, I think, about 20 years and absolutely loved it. There were Sundays I'd walk out of that room and I'd say they didn't hear one word. I said today. I didn't hear one word. I said today.
Speaker 2:
But after they were all grown, I have gotten letters and text messages and phone calls from a lot of my students who say we're so glad that you taught us the word, because I taught the word. I didn't just get in there and we talk about it or nothing. I taught the word to them and I used to actually give my high school students tests and all they hated them. And I told them. I said you don't worry about your grade on the test, you just take the test and see if you're learning something from what God has to say to you. So now they're thankful that I've done that, but at the time it wasn't very pleasant for them.
Speaker 2:
Then God called us to a different church and I wasn't going to teach. When I got to that church I just said I'm going to walk away from it. And I always say when you sit in a class and you're saying, oh man, they should have brought this out, they should have talked about that. God's telling you you need to be teaching again. So I started teaching again and I taught young adults and now I'm teaching a ladies class that the youngest lady in there is 75, I think. So I'm still teaching.
Speaker 3:
That is amazing. That's amazing and if you know a little bit about our listeners on the Vision Driven Marriage, we have an audience that focuses on God working in and through their marriages and becoming, you know, having a more solidified marriage because of Christ. Tell us a little bit how God has worked in your life through your marriage.
Speaker 2:
Okay, well, I was 18, just barely 18, 23 days old when I got married 18. And my husband was 20, fixing to turn 21. We knew nothing about life. We knew nothing about marriage. We had no clue what we were getting ourselves into, and back then they didn't have seminars you could go to. I'm not even sure they had books about marriage. If they did, I didn't know about it. But I had been a Christian for two years and the word was beginning to talk to me a lot. I could understand a little bit more of it. But then I got pregnant very early and had our first daughter 11 months after we were married. The one thing I did not know when I got pregnant very early and had our first daughter 11 months after we were married, the one thing I did not know when I got married was I thought I knew everything about this man that I needed to know. I did not know he loved hunting and fishing and as a 19 year old mother, I'm going. Why don't you want to spend time with me? You?
Speaker 2:
know, and I didn't know anything about a baby, had never been around babies, had no idea what I was doing with this baby. It was hot, we had no air conditioning, she got colic, so colic babies cry all day long. And one day, sitting in my living room rocking her with a fan running on us, I just broke down and it just overwhelmed me and I said, god, I can't do this. I don't know how to be a wife to a man who seemingly loves hunting and fishing more than he loves me. And I heard a voice and it said then why are you trying to change what you didn't create? I said because he's not being the dad and the husband he's supposed to be. And he said you didn't create him, I did. But if you will let me change you, I'll let you watch as I change him.
Speaker 2:
And I knew in that moment I had a decision I had to make was I going to listen to that voice or was I going to keep complaining and be miserable? And I don't know what happened in that moment, but I, at that time, I made the decision I would never complain. And so I told my husband. I said I will never complain about you going hunting and fishing. Now I can't say I didn't complain if he didn't come home when he was supposed to. But I did never complain and I still don't to this day. But it was just an amazing moment in my life and to know that the Holy Spirit cared that much about me that he was going to help me do this.
Speaker 2:
And so I didn't know how to be a wife and he didn't know how to be a husband. So for me I had to go to the word. I didn't have a book to read, I didn't have anybody to talk to, because my stepmother and I didn't have a really great relationship. His mother still had small children at home. He's a family of eight and she's tired. She did, and she didn't know that much about the bible either. She just knew Jesus loved her. So I said, lord, you're going to have to teach me how to do this. And I think that's the moment I learned to always ask the Holy Spirit how do I do that? Because the Bible teaches us many things to do. He just don't always tell us how to do it. Right. I said you're tell us how to do it Right.
Speaker 2:
Right, you're gonna have, I said you're gonna have to teach me. So the first thing he led me to was the book of Proverbs, chapter 31. Well, I'm nowhere near that woman, Uh, although I have done a lot of things. That's in there. But the one thing that stood out to me in that passage is the fact that, uh, he says your husband, her husband, will be known at the gate. And I went well, how do I do that? How do I let people know? This is a special man?
Speaker 2:
And so I began to brag on him, because my husband can do just or at that time, could do just about anything, because he grew up on a farm. And that's what you have to do. You do everything. And we bought a house. It was just a white house. He bricked it the whole house. He built a garage and bricked it, built a back he bricked it the whole house. He built a garage and bricked it, built a back room and bricked it.
Speaker 2:
And so I just began bragging on him on the things that he could do. He could work on a car and fix it. He saved us thousands of dollars in car repairs and any kind of repairs. He just knew how to do stuff like that, and so I just bragged on him a lot. Well, the first change that I can actually say I noticed from the Holy Spirit was the fact my husband thought that he was saved when we got married. Now, if anybody should have never even dated, much less married, it was he and I, because we have nothing in common except three things he wasn't a truck driver, he wasn't a drinker and he was a Christian. But at about 26, somewhere along in there, he discovered he wasn't saved, and he was saved in my living room floor that sunday yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:
So that was the first big change in him. Because he would. He would go to church with me on sunday morning, but he would never go on sunday night and he would never go on wednesday night. Of course he worked second shift on Wednesday so he didn't always get to go, but that was a big change for him and through the years I've watched as the Spirit has done it Well. Then he led me to Ephesians, where it talks about wives submitting to your husbands. Now I think people get the wrong direction on submitting because most people think that's being a floor mat. No, that's not what it's talking about.
Speaker 3:
He's talking about the fact that Society thinks that a lot.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, it's just knowing and respecting his place in the home, that he is the father, he is the head, just like god, the father is the head of us and jesus christ is over us, but it's you know, I still have a voice and I still tell him things that you know well, I think we need to do this and and we'll discuss it, but uh, yeah, to be submissive to him is to simply respect him for who he is. He is my husband, he is the father of my children and he is the head of this household. So I've practiced that and and it takes practice, it's not something that you do and you got it and boy I'm yay. No, it's a constant battle, or it has been for me, a battle that I, you know, I would have to say, barbara, keep your mouth shut. You can't do that now, today. I think it's a constant battle for everybody.
Speaker 1:
It's one of those things that our listeners tell us a lot. You know they they feel like a failure if they don't get it immediately. So I'm so glad you shared what we, Leslie and I, know is true, and good to hear it from you as well, that it's something we have to practice every day and we're not going to be great at some of the things God's asked us to do right away, but he'll give us the ability to get better and better and better at it as we surrender to him.
Speaker 2:
Yeah and that. But that's true with anything. It's not just marriage, it's anything. When we, when I got saved, I didn't automatically know everything and know how to do everything. And when I do learn everything and know how to do everything, and when I do learn, do something, I have to learn it once, but then I have to learn it maybe 10 or 15 times before I really get what I'm supposed to be doing and how I'm supposed to be doing it.
Speaker 3:
Well, I'm glad to hear that you were obedient in that calling when the Lord put it on your heart to be the wife that God called you to be, because I bet that that was pretty instrumental in your husband coming to the Lord, because if he had had to battle his wife about how God made him or not, that that would have been the battle, but he would have had that insecurity about how he was made because it wasn't fitting with the expectations that you had in your relationship. He may have had a lot harder time coming to the Lord than what he did when he did it at 26, you know.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I agree. I totally agree, that is. It's just the fact that you have to make the effort. God's ready to do it. We just have to make the effort and cooperate with him.
Speaker 3:
Now, how many years have you been married, Barbara?
Speaker 2:
We've been married 59, 60 years if we live to August.
Speaker 3:
Wow, congratulations, that's amazing.
Speaker 2:
Thank you, yes, yes, it is For two people that had nothing absolutely in common. You know, everything in our lives were different growing up, so it's just amazing that God has kept us together. Yes, but God. I gave him the glory for it.
Speaker 3:
Yes, god knew that you needed each other, and so that's just been amazing. I love to hear those types of stories where the Lord has used a spouse to help facilitate growth Christian growth, you know, specifically spiritual growth in their relationship. I know in Doug and I's relationship, because he was following the leading of the Lord and and and seeking to be Christ-like. That provided a place for me to heal from, you know, the my childhood background. It just gave me a safe place to to begin to be myself and understand how much the Lord loves me.
Speaker 3:
And I don't think I would have experienced, you know, experienced that security to begin to believe in the Lord and what the Lord has for me as quickly as I did if it hadn't been for the fact that he was following the Lord, you know. And then he came home one day and said I think I'm supposed to preach and, you know, be a pastor, and I'm like well, you know, I don't know what that entails. We had four young children at the time and I don't know what that entails, but I had. I had always made the comment from the time that we got married I will follow you anywhere. And I just remember hearing that in. You know, I meant geographically right.
Speaker 3:
I meant if you want to live on the East coast, fine. If you want to live on the West coast, fine, I will follow you anywhere. But what that really meant was following him into ministry, and so so, when the Lord had just prepared my heart to follow him anywhere, I didn't know it was going to be into the ministry.
Speaker 2:
So yeah, that happens a lot. Unfortunately I haven't had to do that, but my husband now is a deacon at our church, so he has that ministry going on too.
Speaker 3:
Well, that is a very good ministry to have. We have some solid deacons in our church and they are just, sometimes they're just Doug's right hand, I mean, they're just invaluable in our little body, you know. So it's just been great. That is, that's wonderful.
Speaker 2:
Well, tell me, barbara, what is one thing that you contribute the longevity of your marriage to Staying in the word yes, that if you don't, if you don't stay in the word, you're not going to learn even how to live, much less how to be married or how to deal with people. You have to learn that God has a way for you to live and then you have to obey that word yeah, and it's. That doesn't mean it's always easy. Sometimes it's very, very hard, but you still have to accept the fact that he's in control of my life totally. I gave him my life when I walked that out and he is in total control of everything I do and everywhere I go, and who I meet and what I say and everything. He's just in control of it all. But I have to stay close to that word because Jesus is the word.
Speaker 1:
And.
Speaker 2:
I just always have made that my point of anchor.
Speaker 1:
Well, and we, Leslie and I, know that so much of that just echoes as true in our lives. The Holy Spirit's shown us so many of those same truths. What could you tell some of our young married couples who are listening? What do you think are some of the most important things that a young couple should look to and should do if they want to be able to not only draw closer to each other but to be able to glorify God through their marriage?
Speaker 2:
Prayer. I can remember, as a young wife and a young mother, many times at night I talked to my husband. He didn't always understand what I was talking about, but I would go to bed at night and, like Joseph I believe Joseph is 17. He didn't talk about what went on in his life, but he, I believe he prayed to God every night about it. And so he talked, talked to God about his things that were hurting him and how he was disappointed in life.
Speaker 2:
So if you're a young wife and you don't know how to do this thing called marriage, just talk to God about it. He knows it anyway. He knows what's going on, but he wants to hear it from you and always ask for the Holy Spirit's help. That's what he's here for to help us get through marriage, get through life and to be obedient. And if we don't ask for his help, he just sits there and we don't really reap the benefits of being saved through Christ. So my advice to young people is make prayer a priority, make the word a priority, but always know that he's the one that's going to say yes or no to all of it. It's a good word.
Speaker 3:
I think one of the things yes, that is a good word, I know, I just want to jump up and shout amen.
Speaker 2:
Well, go ahead, yes amen Well go ahead.
Speaker 3:
One of the things I found interesting about what you said, barbara, is that when you described being in prayer, you positioned it as individually and not as a couple, and I think that that is so very important in that we, as an individual you know myself as an individual and Doug as an individual, you know so our listeners as individuals need to commit to prayer, knowing that the leading of the Holy Spirit is going to be what leads you into, what solidifies that relationship, because he knows what needs to happen in that relationship, probably more than either the husband or the wife, you know, and I think the leading of the Holy Spirit is what helps create the space in a relationship for what needs to happen to happen, because we don't know a lot of times what needs to happen, but the Lord knows what needs to happen in that relationship for it to be a good relationship.
Speaker 3:
And so if we're not, if we have not committed ourselves to being in prayer and being in the word, like you mentioned, then we are not as positioned to create that safe place as for our spouse as what we could be if we were in prayer and in the word and following the leading of the Holy spirit to make that space in our relationship that glorifies the Lord, because we're all different, right? I mean, so many times you hear the steps about how to communicate better and we hear the the steps on how to be more intimate. And in fact we've done, if we've done one podcast on those, we've done four or five on that same subject. Right, but without the leading of the Holy spirit, knowing the relationship, you know those steps might not be what that relationship needs, you know. So when we take care of our own walk with the Lord and our walk with Jesus and our time in the word, we're going to be able to create that space that the Lord has to solidify that relationship.
Speaker 2:
That's correct, you know, I guess that encounter with the Holy spirit at 19, with my daughter in my lap, it just it changed life for me. And physically they're well. I can't do anything at our church locally anymore because I have severe neuropathy, I have some vision problems, and so there's things you know the things I've done all my life in the church. I no longer can do that, but God can still use you and I have to depend upon the Holy Spirit. I love to quilt, I absolutely love to quilt, and I had gotten to where my vision was so bad I couldn't. And then God sent me to a doctor that helped me with that.
Speaker 2:
But it took out a lot of well, took out all of my depth perception. I have no depth perception anymore, and so the thread, a needle is literally impossible for me. And yet every, every time I my thread breaks, I'll say okay, holy spirit, this is your time, you know where that eye is and I have no clue. And he'll get that needle threader right through there every time. You have to make him a priority in that he's. That's what he's here for he is our jesus.
Speaker 2:
He is our jesus today and he. He's one that's going to walk with us and help us through whatever we go through and you can say that there's a lot of things that you can't do. But, Barbara, you have a podcast Like how cool is that that started at the age of 75.
Speaker 3:
I think that is just amazing.
Speaker 2:
Well, that's what everybody tells me and it's totally amazed me. And I tell him all the time I don't know how you did this and I still don't know how you're doing it, but at 70, the Holy Spirit led me to go out and share his story in my life, which I had never done before. I don't know why, I guess embarrassment, I don't know. But anyway I did that and then COVID hit and that stopped that. So in 21, I said what is it you want me to do? And then he started this podcasting and it just grew. And at 75, yeah, I started his podcast and it is his story. Yeah, it's. He amazes me at the uh.
Speaker 2:
When I first started my podcast. I have a friend who is my biggest supporter but claims to be an atheist and I have to chuckle inside every time he says that to me. But he actually did my intro. I said you know, I told him one day. I said I'm trying to figure out how to get it integrated with my podcast. I haven't figured that out yet. He said well, bring it over to my house and we'll work on it. He said I have been on their website but I can figure it out because he's been in TV and he does films and stuff. I said no. I said you know God led me to this. I said you know God led me to this and so God's going to teach me how to do this. And he said well, I hope he knows how to take. I said he does, he created it.
Speaker 3:
He never answered me on that.
Speaker 2:
But, yeah, I love to do it because I want people to know the value of reading scripture and that it scripture is still. Yeah, it's stories about all these people, but it's a story about your life, absolutely my life, and that's what I want people to learn from it.
Speaker 3:
How valuable it is for life to live. Oh, that is wonderful, and I will link the link to your podcast in our show notes so that our listeners can click the link and find your podcast. Also, you said it was on Spotify and I will make sure that that is linked in the show notes so our listeners our listeners can get a hold of that. I think that is amazing.
Speaker 2:
Well, thank you. Every week, when I record it, I always tell him I said I'm just your vessel. You speak what you want spoken.
Speaker 1:
So, it all comes from him and I'm so grateful not only for what he has done but what he continues to do through your life, just with what you've shared with us today. When you surrendered that night with your child on your lap, to the leading of the Holy Spirit, he started to use you in a way you didn't understand. That eventually was a testimony that was used in your husband's life Praise the Lord, he saved your husband was a testimony that was used in your husband's life Praise the Lord, he saved your husband. And now you're getting to share not only his word, but you're getting to share those practical applications in your life with others. And we know that in Revelation the Christians are victorious by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony, and so I'm so grateful that you're sharing the word of God and that you're sharing your testimony, and you have been a real blessing to us and to our listeners today.
Speaker 2:
Well, thank you. I hope so, and I hope somebody can use it in their life.
Speaker 1:
Amen. We want to thank all of you for listening. Today Our guest has been Barbara Culver. We want you to check out her podcast called His Story, and we're Doug and Leslie Davis. We're continuing to pray for you that God would solidify your marriage.