Will My Relationship Last? Understanding How To Play The Long Game in Marriage

Have you ever found yourself at a Christmas celebration, only to realize that what you thought was the perfect gift led to a miscommunication and a need for forgiveness? Leslie and I found ourselves in such a pickle, which became a lesson in grace and understanding—a story we share with you, our cherished listeners. This episode of Vision Driven Marriage is not just a recount of our personal foibles; it's a beacon for all who seek to build stronger, more resilient relationships. If you've ever asked yourself "will my relationship last?" this episode is for you. You will gain insight as we explore the pivotal role of commitment and the power of never entertaining the thought of divorce on the journey to marital longevity.

Creating a marriage that stands the test of time doesn't happen by accident. It's the small acts of compromise, the daily reaffirmations of love, and the consistent effort to see past our spouse's imperfections that weave the fabric of a strong partnership. We delve into the transformative power of forgiveness and the importance of keeping the friendship in your marriage alive. Simple gestures, like a hug or a shared laugh, are the threads that bind our lives together. And, as Leslie and I reflect on our journey, we invite you to recognize these moments in your own marriage and see them as opportunities to reinforce your bond.

We wrap up this heartfelt episode by inviting you, our listeners, to share your own tales and questions about marriage. We know that every couple's story is unique. Whether you're knee-deep in diapers, navigating the teenage years, or adjusting to a quieter house, your experiences enrich the tapestry of our community. We're eager to hear from you through our Instagram at Vision Driven Marriage. Join us in an ongoing conversation about love, life, and the pursuit of a truly Vision Driven Marriage.

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Theme music: Dead Winter
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Audio source: Epidemic Sound

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Transcript

Speaker 2: 0:07

Welcome to the Vision Driven Marriage Podcast. If you're struggling in your marriage, or maybe you're wondering if it's even salvageable, before you give up or before you let things get too hard, let us come alongside you and help you solidify your marriage. We offer biblical encouragement and insight to help solidify your marriage. We offer biblical encouragement and insight to help you strengthen your marriage.

Speaker 1: 0:31

Welcome to the Vision Driven Marriage podcast. We're Doug and Leslie Davis and we are excited that you've joined us here today.

Speaker 2: 0:38

One of the things that we're talking about today is longevity, and so, in our interview with Bryce and Colette Schaefer last week, if you haven't had a chance to listen to that interview yet, jump back and listen to it, because it was really a good conversation.

Speaker 1: 0:52

Go check it out.

Speaker 2: 0:52

Yeah, it was really good. One of the things they talked about was the things that can contribute to having longevity in your marriage. They were looking at 30, some years of marriage, right, right at 30 years of marriage. I think the key point is going to be to be intentional with what you're doing yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:12

And so when we look at longevity, some of you are going to have a very different experience than others of you. For some of you, the whole concept from the very beginning is that, well, you know, we're going to follow the old fashioned advice that how did you stay married? Well, we just didn't choose to ever get divorced. And others of you are going to realize that you had so many places where God just pulled you along when you couldn't quite move, and so many places where you got advice and leading by the Holy Spirit. It's a different experience for some than it is for others. Sometimes you'll have a season that feels easy and you'll have another season that feels hard.

Speaker 2: 1:50

I know when we first got married it it really felt like we were just. We were not just not going through the motions, but it was just. There wasn't anything intentional about it, we were just together.

Speaker 2: 2:03

Right it was just a normal thing to do and, and you know, when we had an argument, we we dealt with it the best that we could. But one of the things I will say that we agreed upon even before we got married is that the word divorce was not in our vocabulary, like it was not going to be an option. So even when we did argue or fight or whatever, like we never thought about separating.

Speaker 1: 2:27

Right and, and you know, as we look at what we've been blessed with and some of it was just because God's so good to us. We didn't intentionally do any of it. Other parts of it were very intentional we're thankful for the little bit of wisdom. We had to do those things. What we found out was that it came into a couple of different areas where we can share with all of you some things that you can focus on that'll help you be able to see that you can truly have longevity in your marriage too. And one of the things that's always encouraged me out of Proverbs especially Proverbs 18.22, encouraged me out of Proverbs, especially Proverbs 18, 22, is when God says a man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. And we know that that wasn't. You know that's not a conditional thing. That's not a man who finds a wife finds a good thing for a little while. It's something that we know is consistently true.

Speaker 1: 3:19

And it doesn't say and when a man finds a good wife, you know it finds a good thing and favor from the Lord, and so we wanted to encourage you to look at a couple of things that we've learned over time. Some of these things, we've shared concepts with you, but we've not necessarily shared how it plays out when we're looking at being married for a very, very long time, and so we want to go ahead and start by jumping into the very first thing we want to remind you all of. If you want to have a long, long, long marriage from the very beginning, realize you're playing the long game. You're not playing a short game, you're playing a very long game.

Speaker 2: 3:59

And that means that you've got to start putting some building blocks in for that game early on, because it's a long game and that means that there are a lot of little steps along the way, that when you put those little steps in places, it's going to build a foundation that's going to carry you in for the long haul.

Speaker 1: 4:20

You know, and from the very beginning we kind of mentioned this, we just didn't put terminology to it. Let's put terminology to it. From the very beginning, leslie and I adopted a commitment mindset. We just knew from the very beginning we're committed to one another. We're in this for the long haul. You know, being separate from one another isn't an option. We were so blessed that we found one another, and that doesn't mean that it was easy. That doesn't mean those first couple of years we didn't face all kinds of things. We had no clue we're coming because we did. We faced things that we didn't expect, but we knew from the very beginning this is something that we are committed to, and so we adopted a commitment mindset.

Speaker 2: 5:03

Right Like not saying divorce. Like divorce was just not like, that's a commitment mindset and the other one was just going through some of the everyday things with grace.

Speaker 1: 5:15

Yes.

Speaker 2: 5:16

And I think that a lot of the things in our early marriage that was just kind of grace covered by the grace of the Lord, not so much because of what we did Like. For instance, when we first moved in together right after we got married, I had plans of setting up the kitchen the way my mom had her kitchen set up, right. You know, you wash the dishes on the right side and rinse them on the left side. Well, that's not how Linda Davis did it Linda. Davis is his mom.

Speaker 1: 5:46

Wash on the left side and dry go to the right.

Speaker 2: 5:48

You go from the left to the right Left to right is America. So that's not a hill that I was willing to die on, even though it kind of aggravated me, you know. I just switched it, you know, because it really in the big picture didn't amount to anything.

Speaker 1: 6:07

But part of that commitment mindset that goes along with that is that we decided early on there's never going to be an issue that's so big we won't work through it. There's nothing that's going to be too, you know, there's nothing that's going to cause us to say, okay, that's it, we're done, I quit. And we just, from the beginning, said you know, we're going to face some big things, we're going to face some things that are hard, but we'll never face anything that's so big.

Speaker 2: 6:31

We won't say let's do this together and figure it out and figure it out and talk about it Like there's not something so big that we can't put it on the table and talk about it from. You know a lot of people not a lot of people, but people in the counseling office and couples that come to us that are struggling. You know that part of the long game is hard because that commitment isn't always there to come together and talk about things in a way that's productive.

Speaker 1: 6:58

Right, and one of the other things when you're playing the long game, something else that you know make the commitment, but then learn to forgive and truly move forward. Now it's easy for us to say, okay, I forgive you. You know somebody says I'm sorry, okay, I forgive you, but if we bring it back up all the time, we're not able to move on beyond it. And so, you know, forgiveness is one of those things that can be misunderstood, but it can also you can say okay, I forgive you, but not really forgive, and get stuck.

Speaker 2: 7:30

The other hindrance to forgiveness isn't continuing to bring it back up again, but it's the continuing to do it again.

Speaker 1: 7:38

Right, continuing to do it like there's not really any change, like there's not really any change Now and again it may take several times before a change can become permanent, because, you know, none of us learn how to do anything very well right away. But you know, forgiving is important and being able to move forward is really important. You want to play the long game. You've got to realize that, after I forgive, I have an opportunity now to come alongside my spouse and help them with whatever it was that was the failing in the first place, and Leslie has that opportunity with me to come alongside me and help me with whatever was the failing in the first place, so we can move forward in a way that's better, instead of finding ourselves in a holding pattern that causes us to struggle.

Speaker 2: 8:23

In fact, we just had an episode of this, like as we were preparing for this, this podcast, for this recording, we just just had an episode like that, you know, as of this recording, you know we are in April and something that occurred back in December happened and I mentioned it to him and that was one of those things, but I had forgiven him well before I had mentioned it. And what happened? Well, of those things, but I had forgiven him well before I had mentioned it. And what happened? Well, let me let me start with this.

Speaker 2: 8:49

I, one of my love languages, is gift giving, and so when I receive a good gift that is thoughtful and considerate and something that I really want, like need you know all of those things I feel really loved, want like need you know all of those things I feel really loved? Well, it just so happened that at Christmas time, doug had made the comment go get this for your Christmas present. And it just totally took the wind out of my sails, because more than half of getting a good gift is the getting part. You know I go shopping for myself all the time, right? So going shopping for my own Christmas gift, it didn't make me feel loved, so it took me a while. I didn't even feel like shopping for him a Christmas gift, so we didn't get Christmas gifts for each other.

Speaker 1: 9:37

This Christmas and you know, and of course, the thing with all of that, seeing that she'd mentioned something that you know, this would be really good me saying well, go get that, thinking this is something you'll really like, because you said so, eliminated the gift giving part, which is what caused the struggle. Um, you know, but it it was a one of those logical things, but sometimes love and logic don't fit and and so, but but again, rather than letting something like that keep you in a place where you can't move forward, you get the privilege to come alongside one another and move forward. So it's not just forgive, it's forgive and move forward.

Speaker 2: 10:14

Right, because I didn't get bitter about it, right. Yeah, I didn't even stew about it. It just you know, that's just how it was, and you know we went on and I knew at some point I would probably have an opportunity to talk to you about it, and so I just didn't realize it'd be right before this podcast.

Speaker 1: 10:30

And you know, knowing those things about your spouse and helping grow into a better understanding of those things about your spouse is important, but it doesn't mean you're still not going to fall short. You know, because knowing that she loves the whole concept of gift giving just the fact that I'll show up occasionally with a chocolate, just because I know that she likes the gift, so I knew that thing was already true. And you probably know some things that are already true about your spouse it doesn't mean you're going to do them perfectly. Remember long game, figure it out. Once you mess up, forgive, move forward and move forward in a way that's better.

Speaker 1: 11:04

But another way that you can play the long game with your spouse and this is something we see too often when we talk to couples who are struggling we see that it didn't exist the way that it should have.

Speaker 1: 11:16

And so if you're a young couple, let me let me say this really clearly so you don't miss it You're going to get busy as life changes for you, but during those times when life changes for you, maintain your friendship with your spouse. Now we have the privilege to be spiritually intimate. We have the privilege to be physically intimate. We have the privilege to do all of those things, but maintain your friendship, because when everything else gets busy, you can easily go about the business of just living life and forgetting to be each other's friend. And what we see is often later on, when the seasons change again and the kids are grown and the kids are gone. If you haven't maintained that friendship, it's going to be a real struggle. But there's good news you can rekindle the friendship. But it's better when you play the long game the whole time and maintain that friendship.

Speaker 2: 12:16

Absolutely. I know another thing like kind of along that lines, but it's not really an intimate thing or a physical intimate or an emotional intimate. It's more like a grounding thing. But I know that when we get time to just hug each other, either before you leave for work or you know sometime in the evening, that reconnection is just so helpful, it's so calming, and to do that every day or almost every day, you know that is a really good long game strategy because it just keeps us connected and it's not even a physical thing really.

Speaker 1: 12:56

I mean, it doesn't lead to sex, it it is just a connection thing right, you know and and again, think about all the ways that, uh, you are or have been a friend with your spouse and maintain those. Do some intentional things to make sure that you yeah, make sure you do some things that intentionally preserve that friendship. You're going to be blessed long-term by that. Now, another way I think I heard I'm going to interject here.

Speaker 2: 13:22

I think I heard somebody say something about a 7-7-7 rule and it's kind of like a weekly and a quarter, a monthly and a quarterly thing, but it is like once every seven days spend some face-to-face one-on-one on one together.

Speaker 2: 13:35

You know it used to be that in the days of old, when we actually sat down at the dinner table together as a family, like that was face-to-face time, and I really most families don't do that anymore and we should really get back to that right. So like once a week, spend some face-to-face time and every every seven weeks take a date night, like no children date night, go to a restaurant, spend some time together, go to a museum, go do something fun and work on kindling that friendship, and then once every seven months go on a vacation or weekend, like a weekend away, you know. So the seven, seven, seven rule. I don't remember, I forgive me, I don't remember where I read that or who I who I would attribute that to, but that was not mine and so, but it sounds good. We, we do that sort of. We do a date night, usually on friday night, twice a month at least. You know we usually go out for a good steak.

Speaker 1: 14:35

I like steak and so, um, as you're playing the long game, being able to have those planned, we're going to get to that kind of plan looking thing in a little bit. But one more thing with the long game, uh, understand early on in your marriage and understand wherever you are right now in your marriage. There will be times when you disagree with each other. It's okay to disagree. It doesn't have to lead to problems. As a matter of fact, a disagreement is an opportunity to draw closer.

Speaker 1: 15:08

And you know, because, if, if, for some reason, one of the two of you feel like I don't want to disagree at all, so I'll just do whatever my spouse wants, at some point in your relationship it's going to make you feel unimportant, undervalued, railroaded, something that's going to make you feel unappreciated and less than instead understanding where you have little disagreements. Being able to express that and to figure out what's best for for you as a couple. Being able to talk about that will keep you. You might still make the decision that your spouse was going to make, but you know you were heard. So you don't feel undervalued, you don't feel unappreciated, you understand that you have a voice in the relationship, and so I want to encourage you right away. Not that you should intentionally look for things to disagree about, but it's okay. When you do disagree, it doesn't mean it has to lead to problems, right?

Speaker 2: 16:04

yeah, it is an opportunity to learn to understand each other differently, and I think one of the faulty beliefs in those situations is that my spouse has to be like me, right? So you go into those disagreements thinking we're going to come out on the other side and you're going to believe what I believe. But that's not necessarily true and that certainly doesn't honor your spouse or honor your marriage, because when two people, when two individuals, come together as a married couple, they're going to be different beliefs, there's going to be different operation standards. That's kind of what I was thinking you know, right Like operation standards.

Speaker 2: 16:49

But when you work to bring that together and kind of compliment each other, that makes you stronger as a couple.

Speaker 1: 16:57

Oh, it absolutely does, and you know, and so, again, it's an opportunity and when you understand that this is something that we're going to do not just, you know, for a year or two or 10, but we're really truly committed to this long game.

Speaker 1: 17:13

You know, however long we get the privilege to live, we're going to be able to do that together, and when you play the long game, what you're going to find is that you have opportunities that will make your marriage better. Now here's something that was interesting to me. It's not just that when you play the long game, you're going to have a better marriage. Did you know that, statistically, for years now, going to have a better marriage? Did you know that, statistically, for years now, it's been proven that married people live longer than people who don't get married, and so you're not just going to have a longer marriage, but you actually have a longer life Men by 2.4 years and women bya little over three years longer than someone of the same sex that is not married.

Speaker 2: 17:54

And so there's a little nugget for you. Yeah, it's because life's better with you than without you.

Speaker 1: 17:59

Right, right. And so the second thing that we want to share with you all, if you're looking at longevity in your marriage, is don't fall into the comparison trap. You want to have a long marriage. You want to stay together for a very long time. Don't compare what you have with what other people have and feel like, oh, I'm missing out.

Speaker 2: 18:20

The thing about, about this little nugget here, is that God has uniquely put you together with your spouse and and when I say uniquely, I mean uniquely because you have in your being what your spouse needs, and your spouse has in their being what you need. Not what is going on with Jane and John Doe down the road, like they don't have what you need. Your spouse has what you need. Your spouse has what you need. There's been so, so many caveats about our relationship. That has given me a place to heal, and those things wouldn't have been there, or I wouldn't have noticed those things, if I was continually comparing you to whoever you know well and even you know, even within like your own little circle of friends, you're not like your friends, You're not even like your family members.

Speaker 1: 19:20

And, um, you know it would be a completely different thing if you were married to your spouse's sister. It's just not going to work. You're uniquely put together by God and and and be be glad for that. But in the process of that that, you need to be intentional. Now, guys, I'm going to talk to you first, Ladies. This is true for you too, Guys. You need to be intentional that it's obvious that every single day you choose your spouse, I choose you over and over and over again. Make sure she knows that I choose you, I want to be with you and every single day, for all of those years, you get the privilege to be married, you get the privilege to choose your spouse.

Speaker 2: 20:02

I think that's a really good point because so often we get on autopilot. If you've listened to the podcast for any length of time, you've heard us talk about being on autopilot and it's a really bad thing. A really bad thing. But intentionally choosing and looking for opportunities to show that you've chosen your spouse again and again and again is really going to build a solidifying measure infidelity moment or an affair then you've got the confidence to say no, I know my spouse chooses me every day.

Speaker 1: 20:48

Right, because the comparison trap is one of those things that can have a lot of different looks to it, but what it always does is the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, right it says well, my friend's marriage or my brother's marriage or my parents' marriage had something that mine doesn't have, and so you're constantly comparing.

Speaker 1: 21:12

But when you compare, you're saying to your spouse whether you intend to or not, you're lacking something that I think you should have, and so you're constantly comparing. But when you compare, you're saying to your spouse whether you intend to or not, you're lacking something that I think you should have. Now, a lot of times this comes out in married couples. It comes out in a joking manner. A lot of couples think they're hilarious when they talk about yeah, I should have married her. She cooks better than you do, and the wife will laugh.

Speaker 1: 21:33

But in those dark moments where she's feeling insecure, she wonders if he really meant it, and the wife will say something about yeah, I should have married him. He stayed in shape. He doesn't have the gut you have. And again then in those moments where he's wondering, is she really looking at other people? And so the comparison game too often comes out as I was just joking. But those aren't the kinds of jokes that build your marriage.

Speaker 2: 22:02

Yes, it cracks the relationship. It does. It cracks the relationship.

Speaker 1: 22:06

And one of the other things in don't fall into the comparison trap is relatively new. I came up with this term today just because I think that it fits. So no offense to the social media that I picked, but don't let the Instagram view make you think you're missing out. Here's what I mean by that. Regardless of what social media you look at, you get to see the perfect, clean what's behind me in the camera frame view of somebody else's life. So you get to see pictures of this perfect meal that they got at some other restaurant, instead of seeing the slightly chewed up chicken nuggets they took off their kid's plate for their lunch meal. You know you don't get to see the things that aren't pretty. You don't get to see the things that aren't perfect. You only see the things that really look good. You see the great vacation spot and you see the perfectly clean portion of the room. The rest of the room is a mess. Or you see. You know you see the things that make life look like oh, wow, because social media is created for wow, take a look at this.

Speaker 1: 23:10

As a result, it's easy for us to believe wrongly that well, I'm the only one who doesn't have a clean house. I'm the only one whose laundry is still on the floor. I'm the only one who doesn't have a husband who's always home on time. Or I'm the only one who doesn't have a wife who goes with me to my kid's soccer game. Because everything else you see looks perfect. What we all know the reality is none of those folks' lives are perfect. But the danger in it is when you start to compare what you get to see on the little screen, the tiny little screen of your phone. When you start to compare that to what your life is, you can start once again to think everybody's got it better than me. I'm lacking something, something's wrong and you feel like giving up. It's the complete enemy to the long game.

Speaker 2: 24:02

Yeah, it really is an enemy to the long game, for sure, and one of the ways to combat that is just to stay connected with your spouse in a way that is able to communicate and show gratitude Right Because when and that, and that sounds so easy and so simple, doesn't?

Speaker 1: 24:22

it. It can be hard.

Speaker 2: 24:23

It can be hard, but the the neat thing about gratitude is it's like one of those mysteries of the Lord that you just really can't figure out until you actually do it. But once you start expressing gratitude in your relationship it really does come back together. Just to kind of erase the Instagram worldview.

Speaker 1: 24:49

And so the third thing that we wanted to share today with you all is that if you want to see longevity in your relationship, wherever you are right now, from today forward, start to design and communicate a marriage roadmap. So design and communicate a marriage roadmap because you're going to get the privilege to travel this life together. And you know, leslie and I had always talked, even when we were first married, about how we wanted to be that old couple that hold hands. You know we want to barely walk, but we hold hands while we walk through the park. We communicated that early on. We knew where we wanted to go. But developing that marriage roadmap is what route am I taking right now?

Speaker 1: 25:35

I know that the ultimate destination is throughout this entire life. I get to do life with you, but there's different little things you travel through, and let me give you an example of what it looks like in an actual traveling, and then we'll look at how it fits with your marriage. We have a child who lives on the East Coast, and when we travel to see her, we leave Cornfield, central Illinois. We travel on some country roads, some two-lane highways, some interstates. We go through areas where it's seriously 45 minutes without seeing a town that's bigger than a thousand people, but then we also go through some fairly large cities where the traffic is a little bit snarled and a little bit of a mess, and so the travel is different. Even though we know the destination we're going to, there's parts of the travel that are significantly easier than other parts.

Speaker 1: 26:28

There's parts that are the destination is all we care about. There's other parts where the scenery is what we're looking at and we go through the mountains.

Speaker 1: 26:36

And we go through the mountains. But the point is, marriage is very similar. We know that our destination is for the entirety of my life. I want to travel this journey with you and I want to finish the end of my life with you. We want to be that old couple in the park holding hands. But as we go through this journey together, you're going to go through different seasons. Some of those seasons are going to be pretty easy traveling and some are going to be hard. Some you're going to be able to slow down enough. You can take a look at the scenery and other parts You're just focused on. I have to get through to this destination. It's really important, but you get to do the whole thing together.

Speaker 2: 27:17

Yeah, so what I'd?

Speaker 1: 27:18

encourage you is to sit down and communicate, because you need to realize that, even though the destination's set, the path you take is not going to look the same in each stage, and sometimes the way you thought you were going to get where you were going has to be redrawn. We've all gone through where there's road constructions. All of a sudden, what's happening? Redirecting and in your marriage you get the same thing. It may not be the route you originally drew, it may get redrawn, but you know you're still going the same place.

Speaker 2: 27:50

And like, for instance, one time I was coming home from Chicago and I was going from O'Hare to Central Illinois and on the GPS I hit no tolls. Well, that was not the right thing to do, because I ended up taking me through some pretty sketchy areas in South Chicago no offense to Southside Chicago, but that's not a place where I want to spend too much time. But the point is is that sometimes in your marriage, you're going to end up in a place where you don't necessarily want to stay too long, right. So when you're talking about creating a roadmap, it's really about being intentional in your marriage, and one of the first things that I would do is to sit down with your spouse and say what do you need? You know, what is it that you need in this time of life? That we're in right now? Yes, that you're in right now, and it may be that you're in the time of life.

Speaker 1: 28:43

That we're in right now.

Speaker 2: 28:44

Yes, that you're in right now, and it may be that you're in the time of life where you've got little kids running around and, mom, you've just put your baby in the crib and it was the best that you could do just to lay down on the floor and go to sleep right beside the crib. I've been there. I've done that because I have been so tired right beside the crib. I've been there. I've done that because I have been so tired. What you need in that moment may be for him to take the baby so you can take a nap. You know, and that's not like that's obviously not the case in our lives now, right, but it has been.

Speaker 2: 29:17

But it has been right and there's been many times where you took the girl so I could take a nap. But the thing is is that when you sit down and you ask your spouse both ways, not just one asking the other, but both ways what do you need in this time of life and how do I work to provide that for you? That is going to start the communication. It's going to open the communication so that when you're walking through life because guess what? It's a long game, right, it's a day by day, it's one step at a time for the long game and when you can understand what your spouse needs and then ask how you can accomplish that and talk about those goals, then guess what, you're on the road together.

Speaker 1: 30:01

Right, and when your kids are little. It's definitely going to look different when you're traveling than when your kids are teenagers, and then it's going to look different again when you're an empty nester and all of those things are okay, and so be intentional about traveling according to the season you're in at the moment. Have those conversations. One more thing as we look at designing and communicating a roadmap for your marriage, one more thing I really want to encourage you to do, and that is don't avoid the scenic route. Now, here's what I mean by that. Don't get so caught up in the next destination that you don't spend time looking around while you're traveling together.

Speaker 2: 30:41

Don't just stay on the interstate right.

Speaker 1: 30:44

You know, the destination really isn't always the goal. Sometimes the journey is the goal, and so, you know, a person that I had the privilege to meet years ago actually wrote a poem called the Station, talking about traveling on a train, and what he said, that he learned through his life was the station that he was going to end up with. That wasn't the goal. The goal was everything that he got to see on the journey and everything he got to learn on the journey, and so I just want to encourage you strongly do not forget to take advantage of the scenic route. Sometimes you're going to do things a little slower and you're going to look around and you're going to enjoy them, because it's not just hurry so this can happen. It's not just hurry so our kid can get to kindergarten. Hurry so our kid can get to soccer practice. Hurry so our kid can graduate from high school. It's more than just that. Don't be afraid to take full opportunity and full advantage of the scenic route.

Speaker 2: 31:40

Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 31:41

So we know that some of you are saying well, you know, this has been easy for you guys and there've been some struggles, but maybe the struggles that you're going through are very different than the struggles that we've ever faced. And you might be in a time of your life right now where you're saying I want to see longevity in my marriage, but I'm struggling right now because the long game looks hard. We would love to hear from you. We want to know what is it that you have questions about and what is it that you've learned that you can share with people who are in a similar season, whether you are early, early in your marriage. Maybe you are at the stage where you have littles, maybe your kids are growing up and they're active and they're in everything and you feel like you have no time, or maybe you're an empty nester. Regardless of where you are, what are the questions that you have and what have you learned that you would like to share with others? And we'll make sure we get that information to them.

Speaker 2: 32:38

Oh, absolutely. I'm going to post on Instagram this morning as this podcast drops, so you'll be able to catch that post it's at the Vision Driven Marriage on Instagram and message us and let us know.

Speaker 1: 32:51

Right and we're so grateful that you spend time with us. We know that what you do is important and that you have a busy life and it's a privilege that we get to be a small part of your busy life. And we're Doug and Leslie Davis. This is the Vision Driven Marriage and we continue to pray that God will solidify your marriage.