WEBVTT

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<v SPEAKER_03>Let's start off.

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<v SPEAKER_03>This is open-ended for all of you.

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<v SPEAKER_03>PC, I'll have you start though.

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<v SPEAKER_03>What does it mean to grow as a leader?

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<v SPEAKER_02>I think it goes back to even what I said in the message.

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<v SPEAKER_02>I think you're just men that that do stuff.

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<v SPEAKER_02>Like, I mean, it sounds so simple, but like you actually do stuff.

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<v SPEAKER_02>Like you don't just talk about, hey, I should, I should work out, but you you you work out.

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<v SPEAKER_02>You uh I should read more, you actually read more.

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<v SPEAKER_02>Uh hey, I want to grow as in in terms of my relationship with the Lord, but you but you don't do anything.

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<v SPEAKER_02>I think I think men um are we're we're so full of good intentions, right?

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<v SPEAKER_02>What we want to do, what we wish we could.

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<v SPEAKER_02>And look, I get it, a lot of times it can just be because fear, you don't know what you're supposed to do, and all that.

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<v SPEAKER_02>But what is the next small step that you can take?

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<v SPEAKER_02>And I think if you take that next small step, you're gonna look up, and those small steps will grow and become bigger and bigger and bigger steps, and then you're gonna look up, and then I mean, uh Gary's a guy I've looked up to for a long time.

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<v SPEAKER_02>Gary didn't just get godly by just all of a sudden deciding one day I'm gonna be godly.

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<v SPEAKER_02>He got godly by doing stuff that wasn't as big of a deal.

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<v SPEAKER_02>But he didn't see it.

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<v SPEAKER_02>He just has walked the life of faithfulness, and now I just look at him, and man, I'm just I I've talked to him about his prayer life, and and and he did things years ago that's now caused him to where now his prayer life is where it is.

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<v SPEAKER_02>So I would just tell you, what is your next step that you need to take?

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<v SPEAKER_02>And that's how you can grow as a leader for sure.

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<v SPEAKER_03>That's good.

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<v SPEAKER_03>Gary, I want to ask you this question because I'm real I'm real curious about your response.

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<v SPEAKER_00>Oh, I thought I was gonna answer that same question then.

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<v SPEAKER_03>Yeah, no, please do.

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<v SPEAKER_03>I need your response.

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<v SPEAKER_00>Well, I for me, growth, whatever, whatever's healthy will grow, whether plants or people.

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<v SPEAKER_00>You know, if you're healthy, you're gonna grow.

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<v SPEAKER_00>If you are unhealthy, and I don't mean this in a bad way, if you're retarded or you have you can't grow.

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<v SPEAKER_00>If you if you have some mammady that keeps you from growing, you know, mentally.

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<v SPEAKER_00>So if you're healthy uh in terms of spiritual, then you're gonna grow.

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<v SPEAKER_00>You can't you don't have to make yourself grow.

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<v SPEAKER_00>Anatomically, we're gonna grow.

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<v SPEAKER_00>You know when you were like when you was five.

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<v SPEAKER_00>You're not five anymore, you grow.

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<v SPEAKER_00>And if you're stunned by your growth is something that's not right with you physically or mentally.

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<v SPEAKER_00>Amen.

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<v SPEAKER_00>And so we know that.

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<v SPEAKER_00>So it's simple to me.

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<v SPEAKER_00>If I maintain a healthy walk with God, I'm gonna grow.

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<v SPEAKER_00>You look at a plant outside, it gets everything it needs, what God has nourish it with, the sunshine, the rain, the nutrition it has, and if it's sitting in that bowl or outside in your yard, it's gonna grow.

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<v SPEAKER_00>Because it's getting healthy things that cause it to grow.

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<v SPEAKER_00>So if you're not growing, that means that something that's stunning your growth as a believer that's causing you not to grow.

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<v SPEAKER_00>You're looking at something, you're doing something, you're speaking something, you're around people, and if you're not healthy, you're not gonna grow.

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<v SPEAKER_00>And if you got someone near to you that's walking with you in this fate journey called the Christian walk, another man, but then that other brother would know you're not growing.

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<v SPEAKER_00>I can, I, my boys, I have three boys and a daughter, and they would bring their friends over, and I would just let them talk.

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<v SPEAKER_00>In five minutes, I can tell what they're like.

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<v SPEAKER_00>I really say that guy is not good for you to hang around with.

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<v SPEAKER_00>What do you mean, Dad?

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<v SPEAKER_00>You just met him.

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<v SPEAKER_00>Because what came out of his mouth was not healthy, it was not productive.

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<v SPEAKER_00>It wasn't cursing, but it was just he had no direction in life.

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<v SPEAKER_00>And I don't blame him, but I'm taking too much time.

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<v SPEAKER_03>No, I follow-up question to that exact thing.

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<v SPEAKER_03>What's something that has grown you and your leadership personally in the last year?

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<v SPEAKER_00>For me, uh, time management.

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<v SPEAKER_00>I I so I look at this room, some of you guys are older than I am.

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<v SPEAKER_00>I'll be 65 this year.

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<v SPEAKER_00>Um, I know that's not young and it's not old either.

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<v SPEAKER_00>But three score and 10, the Bible says, give us a seven, so I'm like three-quarters of the way.

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<v SPEAKER_00>But but time management.

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<v SPEAKER_00>I am learning more now to guard my time.

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<v SPEAKER_00>My time is important.

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<v SPEAKER_00>I don't have, I look at it in that sense, I don't have long to go before God whisk me off this planet.

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<v SPEAKER_00>So I guard my time.

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<v SPEAKER_00>I don't let unwasted time get a hold of me.

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<v SPEAKER_00>I'm not idle, but but uh this year has been just, it's been, it's been, I, you know, I don't, I'm this is not, I I am, God has carried me in some amazing places.

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<v SPEAKER_00>Uh, you know, uh I share, I'm on the board with uh Houston Christian University with your pastor.

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<v SPEAKER_00>And so this year the board they made me chairman of the boy asked me to chair the board.

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<v SPEAKER_00>And so I serve on like four different boards.

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<v SPEAKER_00>I pastor the church, I had grandkids, I'm a father, I have my wife, we'll be married uh 42 years on Tuesday.

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<v SPEAKER_00>And so I just guard my time and I know, especially young fathers and young men and single men out here, men seek significance.

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<v SPEAKER_00>Women want security.

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<v SPEAKER_00>And so if we always searching significant, we want to know that we're productive, and so we'll waste all our times trying to achieve significance.

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<v SPEAKER_00>And because all we want is to say you're doing a good job, right?

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<v SPEAKER_00>I'm making an impact in life.

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<v SPEAKER_00>So we'll work hard, we'll do all these things, and time just get away.

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<v SPEAKER_00>And so, you know, answer the question.

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<v SPEAKER_00>I I guard my time.

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<v SPEAKER_00>I'm time management for me is what I've learned this year.

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<v SPEAKER_00>It's just because I'm I'm being pulled in so many ways.

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<v SPEAKER_00>And my wife said, if I bring on one more thing, she's out of here.

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<v SPEAKER_00>But but I'm just guarding my time as as the older I get.

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<v SPEAKER_03>Man, classic Gary, just mic dropping, just as he's conversationally talking, significance and security.

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<v SPEAKER_03>Look at you, man.

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<v SPEAKER_03>You're an awesome guy.

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<v SPEAKER_03>Uh Afsheen, I got a question for you, man.

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<v SPEAKER_03>Yeah.

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<v SPEAKER_03>Uh what is a personal spiritual discipline that you put in place in your life years ago that you're thankful that you did?

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<v SPEAKER_01>Yeah.

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<v SPEAKER_01>So I'm gonna I'm gonna cheat, and I'm gonna answer the first question too, if I may, and then the second one.

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<v SPEAKER_01>Uh I'll do it quicker, I'll do it real fast.

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<v SPEAKER_01>But for me, um, how do you grow as a leader is I think um by being mature.

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<v SPEAKER_01>And let me explain what I mean by that.

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<v SPEAKER_01>Uh, in Philippians chapter three, Paul says, uh, not that I've already obtained all this, okay, but I press on, uh, forgetting what's behind, I press on towards the upper call of God in Christ Jesus.

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<v SPEAKER_01>And then, so Paul is saying, I haven't arrived.

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<v SPEAKER_01>I'm still growing.

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<v SPEAKER_01>I'm still, and then he says, Let those of us who are mature think this way.

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<v SPEAKER_01>In other words, Paul is saying in Philippians 3, maturity thinks this way.

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<v SPEAKER_01>I haven't arrived.

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<v SPEAKER_01>So if you want to grow as a leader, you have that mature way of assessing yourself that I haven't arrived.

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<v SPEAKER_01>I'm still growing, I'm still growing.

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<v SPEAKER_01>It's like the guy who's climbing a mountain that feels like they've reached a summit, but it's actually a false summit, right?

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<v SPEAKER_01>And you're like, and that's happened before, you're like, oh, we still got a long way to go.

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<v SPEAKER_01>The more you learn and grow in your faith, the more you realize you've got to go still.

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<v SPEAKER_01>And so I think if you want to grow, you have to maintain that hunger to keep learning and keep growing uh and stay uh humble in that way.

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<v SPEAKER_01>All right, um, for me, man, I I would say um one thing that shifted for me, and I've I've uh I've tried um all kinds of different reading plans, but one of the things that I decided I wanted to start doing is it's hard for me because uh, you know, as these brothers know, we're preaching through a book of the Bible, so we're always studying that book.

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<v SPEAKER_01>But I've I've started a discipline of going through sections of scripture um for uh uh repetitive reading, um, and I'm reading for retention and not for just checking a box.

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<v SPEAKER_01>So instead of reading through the whole Bible in a year, uh I've picked a few books of the Bible for this year, and I'm going through so uh last month I did Romans 1 through 5 every day.

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<v SPEAKER_01>So I would read it every day.

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<v SPEAKER_01>For 30, 30 days I read Romans 1 through 5.

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<v SPEAKER_01>And this month, uh May, I'm going through Romans 6 through 10.

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<v SPEAKER_01>June, I'll do Romans 11 through 15.

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<v SPEAKER_01>So I broke up Romans into three sections, and I read it 30 times.

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<v SPEAKER_01>And um, and so uh what it's done is it's helped me uh saturate it in my mind and really understand the trajectory of Paul's thought instead of just like, what does that verse say?

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<v SPEAKER_01>And it's I feel like it's helping me retain scripture better.

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<v SPEAKER_01>So that was one great thing I think that's.

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<v SPEAKER_03>Y'all hear that?

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<v SPEAKER_03>What he just said is so important for all of us.

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<v SPEAKER_03>When it comes to approaching the Word of God, you have to have a plan.

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<v SPEAKER_03>You gotta know what you're gonna do when you open that book.

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<v SPEAKER_03>That's really good.

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<v SPEAKER_03>Really, really good.

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<v SPEAKER_03>Uh PC, this is this is not uh on my thing.

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<v SPEAKER_03>I just look up to you as a dad uh in your home and a husband here to Hillary.

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<v SPEAKER_03>How are you, what is your next step and how are you taking that step in leading your home?

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<v SPEAKER_02>Yeah, one of the things, man, you're gonna hear a lot about this.

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<v SPEAKER_02>If you have uh kids, uh you're you're a dad of a boy between the ages of 13 and 18.

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<v SPEAKER_02>You're gonna hear more about this this fall.

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<v SPEAKER_02>But uh I've started doing something with Hudson.

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<v SPEAKER_02>Uh every single morning we meet uh for 10 minutes and we just basically go through something that's called the primal path, trying to teach him what it looks like to grow from being a boy into a man.

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<v SPEAKER_02>And one of the things that I think I'm realizing is I don't remember every single thing that we've gone necessarily through.

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<v SPEAKER_02>I'm sure he doesn't necessarily remember everything that we've gone through, but HUD, you you can speak to this perhaps if you want to.

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<v SPEAKER_02>Give me a little thumbs up or thumbs down.

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<v SPEAKER_02>I man, I I like being intentional with my son.

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<v SPEAKER_02>And I've just basically found this is that I can talk to him about porn and I can talk to him about what it looks like to kind of you know treat girls right and all that kind of stuff.

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<v SPEAKER_02>But really, beyond that, I'm a pastor of a church.

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<v SPEAKER_02>I feel like a lot of times I get stuck because I'm basically like, yeah, you know, you're like there's just principles and things that I kind of want to pass down, but it's maybe more in a discipline setting or whatever.

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<v SPEAKER_02>And I've just found this intentional time of just kind of meeting with my son.

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<v SPEAKER_02>Uh he's still doing it every morning, so it's not like it's something that's that's that's been too difficult, has been something that is uh helping spur me on to not only pass things down to him, but what I'm realizing too is half the time I'm like, man, I should really do this stuff.

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<v SPEAKER_02>Like, this is really good stuff that I'm telling my son that I should that he should do.

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<v SPEAKER_02>I should really do this kind of stuff myself.

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<v SPEAKER_02>I'm gonna be telling you guys more about this kind of coming up, but I just want to encourage you, men, doing something intentional with your son and having an in-depth conversation, I promise you, alone puts you further ahead than anything else.

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<v SPEAKER_02>So I just want to encourage you, don't assume.

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<v SPEAKER_02>Man, my dad killed it.

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<v SPEAKER_02>He was a great dad, he was involved, he was an involved dad, but I think even he would be the first to be able to tell you we didn't necessarily have intentional conversations.

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<v SPEAKER_02>And so while I'm grateful for all that my dad did, I want to do even better when it comes to my son so that I can pass down a generation of legacy.

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<v SPEAKER_02>Look, at the end of the day, guys, the Mormons are crushing it.

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<v SPEAKER_02>They're crushing it.

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<v SPEAKER_02>And they're not just letting the church and the youth group try to raise their boys by just throwing them in there once a week, best, and whatever, because I think what really happens is that most families you look up and what you see is that you think that you're doing this, but the reality is just like the football game, I'm just following my team, but the reality is I'm giving all my time to something that's not the main thing.

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<v SPEAKER_02>And so instead, I think we need to learn a little page from the Mormons, if you will, which is this there's an intentional process of passing down their faith.

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<v SPEAKER_02>And I think for me, at least, what have I learned this past year?

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<v SPEAKER_02>I just don't want to suck as a dad.

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<v SPEAKER_02>And I've just found that I've got to work really hard to not do that.

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<v SPEAKER_01>Wait, I was it's hard for me to hear everything you're saying.

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<v SPEAKER_01>Were you saying what were you taking them through for 10 minutes?

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<v SPEAKER_02>Something called Primal Path.

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<v SPEAKER_01>It's just Primal Path?

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<v SPEAKER_01>Yeah.

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<v SPEAKER_01>Okay.

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<v SPEAKER_01>Yeah.

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<v SPEAKER_01>We'll talk about it later.

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<v SPEAKER_01>Send me that.

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<v SPEAKER_01>Yeah.

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<v unknown>Yeah.

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<v SPEAKER_01>Uh sorry, I know you're the question asker.

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<v SPEAKER_01>No, I'll be sorry, man.

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<v SPEAKER_03>I've been looking up to you for a long time.

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<v SPEAKER_03>You can have my job.

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<v SPEAKER_03>Um, Gary, uh, I got I got one for you, man.

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<v SPEAKER_03>You've preached at more men's conferences than all of us have been to in this entire room.

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<v SPEAKER_03>And so you kind of know what these are.

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<v SPEAKER_03>You know the power of a night like tonight and how it can meet uh men specifically right where they're at in their life.

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<v SPEAKER_03>Uh, what would you say are some very practical next steps that men can decide to take tonight?

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<v SPEAKER_00>Whoa.

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<v SPEAKER_00>Uh one thing to come to mind that all of us need to know that we're not islands unto ourselves.

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<v SPEAKER_00>A man that is alone is an accident waiting to happen.

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<v SPEAKER_00>If you're not accountable to another man, be it brother, father, or even your son, then you you're in trouble.

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<v SPEAKER_00>You may not have experienced it yet, but it's coming.

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<v SPEAKER_00>And so I the Bible said a three-quart strand is not easily broken, taken from the Bible.

00:13:36.559 --> 00:13:39.519
<v SPEAKER_00>I believe that you need a Timothy and a Barnabas.

00:13:39.759 --> 00:13:47.039
<v SPEAKER_00>You need somebody that is pouring into you, but you're also pouring into them as a mentor if you don't have a son.

00:13:47.120 --> 00:13:49.360
<v SPEAKER_00>But if it's your son, pour into them.

00:13:49.519 --> 00:13:59.600
<v SPEAKER_00>Because if you're not accountable to anybody in terms of masculine context, then you you you you're not gonna survive.

00:13:59.759 --> 00:14:01.440
<v SPEAKER_00>You you're probably not surviving now.

00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:06.720
<v SPEAKER_00>You're kind of just masking it for a while until it gets exposed, and it will get exposed.

00:14:06.960 --> 00:14:12.960
<v SPEAKER_00>Whether you travel a lot and you're in a hotel by yourself, and uh I've been there before.

00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:16.960
<v SPEAKER_00>I'm telling you, I had brothers that are counted me.

00:14:17.120 --> 00:14:27.279
<v SPEAKER_00>They would, and I think I may have said this before, I don't know, can't remember, but they would call the hotel I was staying in prior to me getting there, and I would go in the room and guess what?

00:14:27.759 --> 00:14:29.759
<v SPEAKER_00>The television is gone.

00:14:30.559 --> 00:14:34.480
<v SPEAKER_00>And I'd have to call down and say, there's no television in this room.

00:14:34.559 --> 00:14:38.240
<v SPEAKER_00>He says, Well, some guy named Bob called and said, Take it out.

00:14:39.759 --> 00:14:41.519
<v SPEAKER_00>The audacity of him.

00:14:42.159 --> 00:14:49.759
<v SPEAKER_00>I don't even know I like ESPN, I mean sports, but but he was holding me accountable because he knows what's on that television.

00:14:49.919 --> 00:14:55.440
<v SPEAKER_00>And if I'm by myself, what I can be exposed to when nobody else is around.

00:14:55.840 --> 00:15:11.279
<v SPEAKER_00>They had the they had I gave them permission that they can call me anytime or call my wife and ask if I if I made a commitment to spend time with my wife or with my kids, I had to live up to that because I know that those brothers were gonna hold my feet to the fire.

00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:18.480
<v SPEAKER_00>So, guys, if you're you if you don't have another man walking this journey with you, I I don't know how you're making it.

00:15:19.200 --> 00:15:31.120
<v SPEAKER_00>Because you, even though your wife, if you're married, is one, she doesn't know all the inner syncrecies and the proclivities and the tender, or she can't speak to you as a man.

00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:32.320
<v SPEAKER_00>Amen.

00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:40.320
<v SPEAKER_00>So you need somebody that's gonna look in the face and call a spade a spade, and not be afraid that they you're gonna walk away from them.

00:15:40.480 --> 00:15:45.200
<v SPEAKER_00>And if they do walk away, then that's a sign that they wasn't supposed to walk with you anyway.

00:15:46.559 --> 00:15:47.840
<v SPEAKER_03>So it's really good.

00:15:48.080 --> 00:15:55.919
<v SPEAKER_03>Uh so for the last six months or so, um, my four-year-old and I, every Tuesday and Thursday, I drive him to school.

00:15:56.159 --> 00:16:03.039
<v SPEAKER_03>And I decided uh in January that we're gonna learn uh the A B C's of our Bible verses.

00:16:03.440 --> 00:16:10.799
<v SPEAKER_03>And right now we're on K, and so my four-year-old has memorized uh verse that starts with A, a verse that starts with B, and all the way to K.

00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:24.799
<v SPEAKER_03>And what I've learned in that process is that it not only has challenged me and developed me and provided me with opportunities to be intentional uh with my son, uh, but I've also realized that it has affected me as a leader.

00:16:25.039 --> 00:16:37.919
<v SPEAKER_03>You know, whenever I have that ability to recall something that I'm teaching my four-year-old uh on the tip of my tongue, whenever something comes up at work or at home or uh wherever we are, I I've just I've seen, I've experienced the power of that.

00:16:38.080 --> 00:16:41.279
<v SPEAKER_03>And that's one of the ways that I've looked up to you for a long time, Afshin.

00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:47.120
<v SPEAKER_03>Talk about the role of scripture memorization and how it's impacted your leadership.

00:16:48.080 --> 00:17:01.519
<v SPEAKER_01>Well, um uh I love the word of God, and so it's all you know throughout our um our church, and so uh I I want people to be Bereans in my church.

00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:07.359
<v SPEAKER_01>If you know what that means in Acts, it says the Bereans they heard the message and they went to the scriptures to make sure that it lined up.

00:17:07.519 --> 00:17:12.240
<v SPEAKER_01>So I tell our people, don't take my word for it, make sure what I say lines up with scripture.

00:17:12.480 --> 00:17:25.599
<v SPEAKER_01>So I'm always bathing myself in scripture, but from scripture memory, just as I mentioned a little bit with the repetitive reading, I encourage people to first memorize like um the major buckets, if you will.

00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:29.759
<v SPEAKER_01>Um like for instance, um uh easy book, John.

00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:33.119
<v SPEAKER_01>So, you know, you know that John 9 is the blind man, okay?

00:17:33.279 --> 00:17:37.680
<v SPEAKER_01>You know that John 10 is the Good Shepherd, the the chapter on the Good Shepherd, right?

00:17:37.839 --> 00:17:40.240
<v SPEAKER_01>John 11 is Lazarus being raised, right?

00:17:40.400 --> 00:17:42.160
<v SPEAKER_01>John 15, the vine of the branches.

00:17:42.240 --> 00:17:48.960
<v SPEAKER_01>Like memorize the the big buckets of scripture and the flow of thought, let's say, of Paul throughout the book of Ephesians.

00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:52.079
<v SPEAKER_01>I try to memorize those first, if that makes sense.

00:17:52.400 --> 00:17:57.279
<v SPEAKER_01>Then I memorize individual verses that are maybe some of the key verses.

00:17:57.359 --> 00:17:59.119
<v SPEAKER_01>And for whatever reason, it sticks more.

00:17:59.200 --> 00:18:11.519
<v SPEAKER_01>There's this thing called, I think it might be called a memory map, which basically, if you walk through like the house you you grew up in and you have 40 locations and you have those as hooks, you could I used to do this.

00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:22.799
<v SPEAKER_01>If you gave me a list of 40 things, okay, as I would look at it one time and I'd walk through that list and I'd put them on these hooks in my mind mentally, all over my house that I grew up in.

00:18:22.880 --> 00:18:25.920
<v SPEAKER_01>And then I give you the list back and you say, What's number 25?

00:18:26.079 --> 00:18:29.920
<v SPEAKER_01>And that's I'll tell you exactly what word it is, because I remember where I placed it.

00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:40.000
<v SPEAKER_01>Okay, in the same way, when I remember the buckets and the flow of thought of what Paul is saying first, it helps me to retain the memor the scripture more, if that makes sense.

00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:42.160
<v SPEAKER_01>And then the other thing I'll say is teach scripture.

00:18:42.640 --> 00:18:52.480
<v SPEAKER_01>If you can start teaching scripture to I mean, if you get two guys that want to meet with you at McDonald's and you start teaching scripture, that is how you are going to retain scripture.

00:18:52.640 --> 00:18:54.960
<v SPEAKER_01>Um there's something powerful about it when you do that.

00:18:55.279 --> 00:18:55.440
<v SPEAKER_01>So