WEBVTT 00:00:00.239 --> 00:00:01.760 Let me just uh sit with something. 00:00:01.840 --> 00:00:03.839 What an incredible morning of worship so far. 00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:05.679 Um, we just sang this a second ago. 00:00:05.759 --> 00:00:06.639 I just want you to make sure. 00:00:06.719 --> 00:00:13.519 Sometimes I think we just sing songs that may be familiar, or maybe they're not as familiar, so we're trying to learn them and and we we miss what we just said. 00:00:13.759 --> 00:00:14.960 We just sang this. 00:00:15.199 --> 00:00:16.640 What a privilege. 00:00:17.679 --> 00:00:19.120 What an honor. 00:00:20.800 --> 00:00:24.320 Just to just to dwell within your house. 00:00:25.199 --> 00:00:30.399 In every season and in every hour. 00:00:31.039 --> 00:00:32.719 You were faithful then. 00:00:33.840 --> 00:00:35.520 You'll be faithful now. 00:00:37.119 --> 00:00:39.359 I hope you believe that to be true. 00:00:40.560 --> 00:00:46.240 Last service we had Lisa Derveloy, who's Mark and Lisa have been, they've they've built this church. 00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:47.280 They've just been around forever. 00:00:47.359 --> 00:00:50.560 They've served this place for so many years in our kids' ministry. 00:00:50.960 --> 00:00:56.880 If you've been a part of this church for any length of time and you have kids, they've probably uh had you maybe been with Mark and Lisa. 00:00:57.359 --> 00:01:05.840 And Lisa's been battling cancer, and in our 10 o'clock service, I saw her sitting right over there in the middle of this worship center for the first time in a year. 00:01:06.560 --> 00:01:08.159 What a privilege. 00:01:11.120 --> 00:01:12.799 I don't know what your situation is. 00:01:12.879 --> 00:01:15.040 I just want to remind you what a privilege. 00:01:15.680 --> 00:01:24.239 What an honor it is to dwell within your house in every season, in every hour. 00:01:24.719 --> 00:01:26.319 He was faithful then. 00:01:27.040 --> 00:01:28.959 He's going to be faithful right now. 00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:32.719 Grab your Bibles, open them up with me to Mark or Matthew chapter 19. 00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:34.400 Matthew chapter 19. 00:01:34.480 --> 00:01:38.000 Hey, we got a few of these left, so when you leave today, I'm going to ask you to do something for us. 00:01:38.079 --> 00:01:38.799 It's pretty cool. 00:01:38.959 --> 00:01:49.519 While we're gathered here and we're getting to open up God's word together as a church, we've got 240 students that are up in Livingston that are gathered right now for camp. 00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:51.280 They had services this morning. 00:01:51.680 --> 00:01:54.640 They're going to be having services tonight and all week. 00:01:54.719 --> 00:01:59.840 And so we've got a few of these bands left that have the names of students who are at Youth Camp. 00:01:59.920 --> 00:02:02.879 And what we're going to ask you to do is just to grab one of these, put it on your wrist. 00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:04.799 And would you just pray for our students? 00:02:04.959 --> 00:02:06.400 We're asking for a few specific things. 00:02:06.480 --> 00:02:07.920 We're asking that God would meet them. 00:02:08.159 --> 00:02:10.639 We've got a bunch of kids that are lost that we know. 00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:14.879 In fact, we've got a large number of first-time campers that have ever come with us. 00:02:14.960 --> 00:02:18.159 And so we're asking that God would save a ton of students this week. 00:02:18.400 --> 00:02:21.439 We're asking that God would raise up some students and call them to ministry. 00:02:21.599 --> 00:02:26.479 Like we want them to have a vision to serve the local church and to serve in missions and to be able to be sent out. 00:02:26.560 --> 00:02:28.560 And so would you pray for that as well? 00:02:28.719 --> 00:02:30.719 Would you pray that God would just expand their vision? 00:02:30.800 --> 00:02:33.759 You realize, I mean, look, I we we we act like it's just teenagers. 00:02:33.840 --> 00:02:36.080 It's us too, no matter what age you are. 00:02:36.240 --> 00:02:39.199 But but specifically that age of life, it's kind of all about them. 00:02:39.439 --> 00:02:45.439 We want to have God just expand their vision and make it all about Him and just to be able to radically transform and change. 00:02:45.840 --> 00:02:48.240 We really do believe that God can and wants to do that. 00:02:48.400 --> 00:02:49.680 And so would you join us in that? 00:02:49.759 --> 00:02:55.599 And it would be a really big honor of us if you would grab one of these as you leave and be able to uh pray for somebody. 00:02:55.759 --> 00:02:58.719 Um Matthew chapter 19 is where we're going to be. 00:02:58.879 --> 00:03:04.319 Uh, we as a family, one of the things we love to do when we get together and anytime I'm with the larger groups is play some board games. 00:03:04.479 --> 00:03:07.360 Any board game folks in here that love playing board games, we'll love doing that. 00:03:07.439 --> 00:03:12.800 Uh Jokers of Marbles is kind of our favorite game that we tend to play the most, but any card game kind of works out well. 00:03:12.960 --> 00:03:18.719 Monopoly Life, or you've got Ratan, you know, kind of these like larger, like long-term games, if you will, that you can play. 00:03:18.879 --> 00:03:26.879 One game that's always really stressed me out that I don't love, I get slightly competitive whenever we play it, and it's just an intensity that goes along with it is the game taboo. 00:03:27.120 --> 00:03:29.039 Anyone ever played the game taboo before? 00:03:29.280 --> 00:03:31.439 Uh let me explain to you how the game taboo works. 00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:38.000 Okay, the basically what you do is you get into two different teams, and then you get one person who's kind of the spokesman for the team, and he's representing him. 00:03:38.080 --> 00:03:47.919 And his job is to try to describe to his team clues that would cause them to want to guess what is on the card that's in front of him. 00:03:48.080 --> 00:03:50.159 I'm actually gonna kind of walk you through how this looks. 00:03:50.240 --> 00:03:51.759 Uh, this is a we bought this game. 00:03:51.840 --> 00:03:52.960 I'm just literally picking it out. 00:03:53.039 --> 00:03:54.800 I have not done this, isn't it? 00:03:54.879 --> 00:03:55.759 I described a card here. 00:03:55.840 --> 00:03:56.479 Here we go. 00:03:56.719 --> 00:03:58.639 Um, not doing that one. 00:03:58.719 --> 00:03:59.599 Okay, wait a second. 00:03:59.840 --> 00:04:02.960 Uh the Sunday scaries was the word. 00:04:03.039 --> 00:04:05.120 I don't even know what that means, so I'm not gonna do that one. 00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:05.439 Okay. 00:04:05.520 --> 00:04:07.039 Uh here's the one Pandora. 00:04:07.120 --> 00:04:08.639 Okay, the pair's Pandora. 00:04:08.719 --> 00:04:20.480 All right, and so the idea is that I've got to try to get my team that was trying to get you to use the word Pandora, uh, but I was not allowed to use these words to describe it. 00:04:20.639 --> 00:04:21.360 That's the idea. 00:04:21.439 --> 00:04:21.759 Okay. 00:04:21.920 --> 00:04:30.959 Here's some of the words box, music, Spotify, bracelet, and avatar. 00:04:31.519 --> 00:04:31.839 Okay. 00:04:32.560 --> 00:04:43.680 And so the other team that's that you're up against, what they're gonna do is they're gonna stand right next to you and they're gonna stand over your shoulder and watch and make sure you don't say any of the words on the card. 00:04:43.759 --> 00:04:46.480 And if so, usually most games they've got a buzzer. 00:04:46.639 --> 00:04:49.680 For whatever reason, the one we bought has a squeaker. 00:04:49.839 --> 00:04:53.680 All right, not quite as cool, but you get the idea, right? 00:04:54.000 --> 00:05:05.759 Uh, and so if I was supposed to try to get you to guess the word Pandora and I use the word box, can't use the word box music, Spotify, bracelet, avatar, I might say something like Apple Music, but not Apple Music. 00:05:05.839 --> 00:05:07.839 It's like way before Apple Music was cool. 00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:11.360 It was before the other thing that's a rival against Apple Music was there. 00:05:11.519 --> 00:05:14.319 It was the thing that kind of just streams music. 00:05:14.399 --> 00:05:15.680 I had to look and make sure the word wasn't there. 00:05:15.839 --> 00:05:16.720 Streams music. 00:05:16.800 --> 00:05:18.399 I that would be pretty good, right? 00:05:18.480 --> 00:05:19.519 That was actually not bad, right? 00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:20.560 You I didn't say it. 00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:23.040 Last service, I totally locked up and could not do it. 00:05:23.120 --> 00:05:28.720 And they're totally gonna have to squeak me because it was one of the shark, and I could not figure out how to say it with all the words that were there. 00:05:28.879 --> 00:05:44.720 The idea though, this game, it's again, it it's it's hard because you got the timer going, you got all the people looking at you, and you know so clearly what you could say that would make them get it immediately, but you can't say it, otherwise you're gonna get squeaked, you're gonna get beeped, right? 00:05:45.040 --> 00:05:51.199 Last week we started a sermon series called Taboo, and we were gonna talk for four weeks about topics. 00:05:52.560 --> 00:05:54.560 They get you squeaked, all right? 00:05:54.800 --> 00:06:03.519 And they get you squeaked one of two ways is because churches know that if you bring up these topics, people are gonna get upset and people are gonna leave. 00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:08.319 And so therefore, they avoid doing these things because they don't want to get squeaked. 00:06:08.560 --> 00:06:10.480 But here's what we've also discovered. 00:06:10.720 --> 00:06:18.800 We also know that it's true that the culture has a very clear outline as to what you're allowed to say and what you're not allowed to say on many, many topics. 00:06:19.040 --> 00:06:29.120 And we know that they're so loud about it that if you say a word that's on the list trying to describe something that's super clear, then guess what they're gonna do? 00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:31.759 They're gonna let you know about it. 00:06:32.160 --> 00:06:43.600 And our goal in this series is to poke the bear, it's to go there and talk about some certain topics that you normally don't hear in church. 00:06:43.839 --> 00:06:50.480 Or if you do, you've been trained and accustomed because you ask questions about it based upon the response that you get. 00:06:50.639 --> 00:06:53.279 Oh, this isn't a safe place to bring this up. 00:06:53.920 --> 00:06:58.800 And we want to talk about it, and we want to allow the Bible to speak. 00:06:58.959 --> 00:07:03.120 What I've discovered is this is that it's not like people stop asking the questions. 00:07:03.360 --> 00:07:08.639 If they know they can't ask those things in church, they just go somewhere else to ask the question. 00:07:09.920 --> 00:07:16.079 And we believe the Bible tells us what we need to know, how we're supposed to think, how we are to respond. 00:07:17.120 --> 00:07:22.240 The topic that I'm gonna bring about today is honestly one that I have been uh the most nervous about. 00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:29.439 Not because theologically it's unclear, but because pastorally it's so true. 00:07:29.920 --> 00:07:31.680 It's a topic of divorce. 00:07:33.839 --> 00:07:35.680 You're like, well, why are you bringing this up? 00:07:35.759 --> 00:07:40.079 Didn't you just do an eight-week series on relationships and dating and marriage and all of that kind of stuff? 00:07:40.240 --> 00:07:42.959 Yes, and some of you had to endure it. 00:07:44.160 --> 00:07:51.920 And that's exactly what you felt because you've walked through it, and so therefore, the entire time that you're there, you feel like you're having to endure it. 00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:54.639 Where does this apply to me? 00:07:55.279 --> 00:08:01.199 This isn't just an abstract concept, this is instead something that is in real life for some of you. 00:08:01.279 --> 00:08:04.560 It's very personal, you've been through a divorce. 00:08:05.519 --> 00:08:11.120 For some of you, you've experienced you are the product of a divorce. 00:08:11.920 --> 00:08:15.680 And so, because of that, you know all the pain that's associated with it. 00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:23.759 Some of you may be walking in a in a relationship with somebody close to you that's getting a divorce and you don't know what to say. 00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:26.720 It's not like there's easy answers. 00:08:26.959 --> 00:08:36.159 What I want to ask that you allow me to do today is not come to this topic like a professor or a prosecutor trying to prove that I'm right. 00:08:36.960 --> 00:08:56.080 But that you would let me approach this topic to you as a pastor because I believe the scripture is so clear and tells us that we can uphold truth and it allow us to have the clarity that we need, but it doesn't have to negate the grace that can go with it. 00:08:56.320 --> 00:09:04.159 And instead, I want us to be able to see these two things mirrored and connected together in a beautiful picture and in a beautiful way. 00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:14.480 Before we get into the text today, what I want to do is kind of set it up and show you what's happening so that you understand what's being told here in Matthew chapter 19. 00:09:15.279 --> 00:09:24.080 Because we want to see, before we get into what the Bible says about divorce, we want to first start with what God says about marriage. 00:09:24.559 --> 00:09:31.600 The passage that we're gonna look at today puts Jesus in the middle of a controversy, in the middle of a battle, of a fight. 00:09:31.759 --> 00:09:32.879 We're gonna see. 00:09:33.360 --> 00:09:38.000 And what Jesus does is he doesn't get drawn in and get into the trap. 00:09:38.480 --> 00:09:43.200 He instead goes back and identifies the original design of marriage. 00:09:43.519 --> 00:09:46.159 Would you stand in the honor of reading of God's word? 00:09:46.480 --> 00:09:48.240 Matthew chapter 19. 00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:53.039 Let's begin reading in verse 3. 00:09:54.639 --> 00:10:01.200 It says, And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause? 00:10:01.919 --> 00:10:06.799 He answered, Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female? 00:10:06.960 --> 00:10:13.519 And said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 00:10:13.919 --> 00:10:16.799 So they are no longer two but one flesh. 00:10:17.200 --> 00:10:20.879 What therefore God is joined together, let not man separate. 00:10:21.120 --> 00:10:22.320 You may be seated. 00:10:24.639 --> 00:10:34.559 Matthew chapter 19, the parallel passage of this is Mark chapter 10, where the Pharisees are trying to trick Jesus, trying to trip him up. 00:10:35.279 --> 00:10:52.399 And what you see repeatedly in Scripture, where the issue of divorce is brought up, is that Jesus answers it by going back to the original design to show the significance and the depth of the covenant relationship. 00:10:52.720 --> 00:10:56.799 He goes back and says, God made man and female, male and female, Genesis chapter one. 00:10:57.200 --> 00:11:05.519 Then he quotes Genesis chapter two, verse 24 that a man shall leave his father and mother, hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 00:11:05.679 --> 00:11:07.840 Genesis chapter two, right away. 00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:10.879 Genesis one, we get what a guy is and what a girl is. 00:11:11.120 --> 00:11:13.519 Genesis chapter two, we get what marriage is. 00:11:13.679 --> 00:11:15.120 This is not hard. 00:11:15.440 --> 00:11:19.919 What I want you to see is that the culture is going to tell you you're not allowed to say that. 00:11:20.399 --> 00:11:26.879 But we got to go back to what God just did, how he designed things, and right away in Genesis 1, we see how he made male and female. 00:11:27.039 --> 00:11:30.240 Genesis chapter 2, we see how we defined marriage. 00:11:30.559 --> 00:11:39.919 I need you to know when it comes to this topic of divorce, most often people are looking for the exceptions, but Jesus always goes back to the design. 00:11:40.799 --> 00:11:44.000 He says that you are to leave your father and your mother. 00:11:44.159 --> 00:11:49.519 This means you abandon your previous loyalty, not passively, but a decisive turning. 00:11:49.600 --> 00:11:53.120 I'm leaving my old life and I'm starting a new life. 00:11:53.360 --> 00:12:00.399 And I'm going to this new person and I'm creating a new established rule and reign in my heart with them. 00:12:01.360 --> 00:12:06.080 He says specifically that you are to hold fast to your wife. 00:12:06.320 --> 00:12:12.480 It's the word, it's the Hebrew word debak, which means to be glued or cemented, literally to be fused together. 00:12:12.639 --> 00:12:14.559 Think of gorilla glue here. 00:12:15.600 --> 00:12:21.519 You ever put gorilla glue on something and then you realize you messed up and you're like, oh, and you hope you hadn't dried and you try to pull it apart. 00:12:21.600 --> 00:12:22.080 What happens? 00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:23.360 It never works. 00:12:23.840 --> 00:12:35.759 It's so strong that literally the two things which were independent of each other have now become so fused together that to tear them apart causes damage to both sides. 00:12:36.480 --> 00:12:38.000 That's the picture. 00:12:38.960 --> 00:12:41.759 He then says that they are to become one flesh. 00:12:41.919 --> 00:12:49.919 This isn't just the description of physical intimacy, but it's the intermingling of two souls into something that did not exist before. 00:12:50.399 --> 00:12:59.440 This is why the commentary on the quote that he gave in verse six, Jesus says, What God has joined together, let not man separate. 00:12:59.840 --> 00:13:01.840 Don't miss what I'm about to say. 00:13:02.399 --> 00:13:08.960 If God is the one who puts you together, God is the one who has to take you apart. 00:13:10.720 --> 00:13:12.080 Please hear me. 00:13:12.399 --> 00:13:14.080 Our culture says this. 00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:16.559 You can get in and out as easy as you want. 00:13:17.200 --> 00:13:22.799 But what God says is that what God is joined together, let God be the one that takes it apart. 00:13:23.440 --> 00:13:25.120 Man doesn't get to make that choice. 00:13:25.360 --> 00:13:27.440 God is the one who makes that choice. 00:13:27.840 --> 00:13:38.240 With this as a background, I want to give you three things to tell you what the text says and teaches us, not only in this passage but others, about what God says about divorce. 00:13:38.399 --> 00:13:41.679 Number one, divorce is devastating. 00:13:42.159 --> 00:13:44.080 Divorce is devastating. 00:13:44.559 --> 00:13:47.279 It's important to see Jesus' strategy. 00:13:48.159 --> 00:13:54.000 By speaking about the permanence and the importance of marriage, he wasn't trying to make a deflection here to the question. 00:13:54.159 --> 00:13:59.279 He was instead trying to show why divorce should never be easy. 00:13:59.519 --> 00:14:03.279 Now, look, you may be in the middle of a divorce and you would say, Man, divorce is not easy. 00:14:03.360 --> 00:14:08.240 But relatively speaking, we have made divorce in our country very easy to do. 00:14:08.720 --> 00:14:14.799 You fall into love, and if you don't like it anymore and you fall out of love, then you just get out of the relationship. 00:14:15.039 --> 00:14:20.159 And even though there are some legal things to do that goes along with it, we've still made it very easy. 00:14:20.240 --> 00:14:22.320 We've created things like no fault divorce. 00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:24.080 I mean you don't have to have a reason for it. 00:14:24.240 --> 00:14:25.840 You just decide you don't want to do it. 00:14:26.000 --> 00:14:39.039 And what Jesus is trying to say is this I want to raise the bar of marriage so high that instead of just giving you the exceptions, I want to show you divorce should never be a first response. 00:14:39.919 --> 00:14:43.919 Divorce should never be something you just casually choose to do. 00:14:44.799 --> 00:14:49.679 If you're a product of divorce, you know that divorce is devastating. 00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:55.039 If you found yourself in a divorce, you know that divorce is devastating. 00:14:55.759 --> 00:15:03.279 Experience with friends and family members has taught us that divorce is devastating. 00:15:03.679 --> 00:15:07.279 God even addresses it directly in Malachi chapter 2, verse 16. 00:15:07.519 --> 00:15:12.639 For I hate divorce, says the Lord, the God of Israel. 00:15:12.879 --> 00:15:18.240 To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty, says the Lord of heaven's armies. 00:15:18.399 --> 00:15:19.519 So guard your heart. 00:15:19.679 --> 00:15:21.679 Do not be unfaithful to your wife. 00:15:21.840 --> 00:15:24.159 Please know God doesn't pull any punches here. 00:15:24.960 --> 00:15:28.399 But also don't miss what he's saying, which is so important. 00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:34.480 God says that he hates divorce, but he doesn't say he hates divorced people. 00:15:36.879 --> 00:15:40.960 What God hates is the act and the damage that that act does. 00:15:41.519 --> 00:15:44.159 But he doesn't hate the people who've experienced it. 00:15:45.440 --> 00:15:49.120 If you've been through a divorce, God's not looking at you with contempt. 00:15:49.919 --> 00:15:56.000 But he is honest in saying that when a couple gets a divorce, it's overwhelming them with cruelty. 00:15:56.080 --> 00:15:58.480 That's the verse in Malachi chapter 2. 00:15:59.200 --> 00:16:02.879 It's literally causing violence to another person. 00:16:03.919 --> 00:16:09.519 Even a legal, clean divorce is not a clean break. 00:16:10.720 --> 00:16:14.159 And you tear apart what God has joined together, something always breaks. 00:16:14.320 --> 00:16:18.480 I'm not saying this as a guilt weapon aimed at people who've been through divorce. 00:16:18.639 --> 00:16:22.320 I'm just telling you this as an explanation of why it hurts so bad. 00:16:23.039 --> 00:16:27.120 Because the pain is not weakness, the pain is instead proof of what you actually had. 00:16:28.000 --> 00:16:32.879 The consequences land on the people who did not make the decision, and that matters to our God. 00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:48.399 There's a reason why we say it's a broken home, not because people who go through a divorce are beyond broken beyond repair, but because something that was built together gets dismantled and the debris does not just fall on the couple, it falls on everybody who lives in the house. 00:16:49.840 --> 00:16:51.759 Divorce is devastating. 00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:55.759 It's not a judgment on you, but it is a description. 00:16:56.320 --> 00:16:59.440 But also let it be a warning if you're here today. 00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:01.360 And you're looking for an out. 00:17:02.879 --> 00:17:05.039 You're looking for the escape hatch. 00:17:05.759 --> 00:17:06.799 Please hear me. 00:17:07.039 --> 00:17:10.480 You may think that getting out of your marriage is gonna solve all of your problems. 00:17:11.440 --> 00:17:14.400 I have story after story after story. 00:17:14.799 --> 00:17:16.640 Divorce is devastating. 00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:20.400 Second thing I want you to see that God says about divorce. 00:17:20.480 --> 00:17:23.359 Number two, divorce is permitted. 00:17:24.319 --> 00:17:25.920 Divorce is permitted. 00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:32.319 The question being asked in Matthew chapter 19 is by this religious leaders, and it wasn't a pastoral question. 00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:35.599 It wasn't they're like, How can I love people better? 00:17:35.920 --> 00:17:38.559 Can you just give us what the out is so we can love people better? 00:17:38.720 --> 00:17:40.880 No, no, it was a political game. 00:17:41.279 --> 00:17:44.640 Because you had two different groups that existed at the time. 00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:55.359 You had one, which was like a super strong conservative group that was over here that basically said that divorce is only allowed for the things that they say that it's allowed for, and it's a really small list. 00:17:56.079 --> 00:18:01.759 Over here, you had the liberal group, and the liberal group basically said that you could divorce your wife for any reason. 00:18:01.920 --> 00:18:03.920 The key word is found in verse three. 00:18:04.240 --> 00:18:06.799 How could you divorce a woman with for any cause? 00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:09.039 Any cause is the question. 00:18:09.359 --> 00:18:12.480 Is it super conservative or is it super liberal? 00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:18.240 Over here, literally, if the woman made something that you didn't like, you could divorce her. 00:18:18.400 --> 00:18:20.799 You just walk out of the relationship, walk out of the marriage. 00:18:20.960 --> 00:18:24.799 And so essentially they're coming to Jesus trying to catch him. 00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:31.200 Like, how can we get you backed in a corner so that you settle this political debate that we're having? 00:18:32.079 --> 00:18:34.880 Pick up the reading in verse 7. 00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:40.720 They said to him, Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away? 00:18:40.960 --> 00:18:47.759 He said to them, Because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 00:18:48.079 --> 00:18:54.720 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality and marries another, commits adultery. 00:18:54.960 --> 00:19:01.279 The disciples said to him, If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry. 00:19:01.759 --> 00:19:07.519 Jesus states that Moses allowed for a legal process to protect women in the world where the men held all the carts. 00:19:08.480 --> 00:19:12.400 In a culture of a man could just send his wife any any away. 00:19:12.559 --> 00:19:15.440 No paperwork, no legal standing, no protection. 00:19:15.680 --> 00:19:24.240 Moses introduced the certificate of divorce not to make divorce easy, but to give the woman a legal recourse if it happened. 00:19:24.640 --> 00:19:29.839 It was the best possible outcome for a broken situation found in a broken world. 00:19:30.079 --> 00:19:34.640 Jesus is not endorsing the certificate as ideal, but he's explaining its origin. 00:19:35.039 --> 00:19:43.599 Human sinfulness required a legal structure to prevent further harm to the most vulnerable people in the situation. 00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:45.759 Jesus then draws the line. 00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:48.400 He says the exception, though, is sexual immorality. 00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:51.200 Sexual immorality is the Greek word pornea. 00:19:51.279 --> 00:19:55.279 It's the word where we get our word, modern-day pornography. 00:19:56.400 --> 00:20:01.920 It's a broad Greek term for sexual sin of any kind committed outside of the marriage covenant. 00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:05.839 It includes adultery, but it is not limited to one specific act. 00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:11.920 It describes a pattern of sexual unfaithfulness that breaks the one-flesh bond. 00:20:12.319 --> 00:20:15.039 Here's what the exception clause means practically. 00:20:15.440 --> 00:20:23.279 When a spouse is engaged in unrepentant sexual immorality, the innocent spouse is released from the obligation of the covenant. 00:20:23.599 --> 00:20:26.160 The key word, though, is unrepentant. 00:20:26.559 --> 00:20:32.880 That is not about a one moment of failure followed by genuine confession and commitment to restoration. 00:20:33.039 --> 00:20:37.279 This is about a pattern of sin that the person refuses to turn from. 00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:42.799 Someone who breaks faith and keeps breaking it, that's the situation that Jesus is addressing. 00:20:43.279 --> 00:20:49.759 Even then, this is permission for divorce, not prescription for divorce. 00:20:50.319 --> 00:20:55.200 Jesus is not saying the innocent party must divorce his spouse. 00:20:55.440 --> 00:20:58.240 He is saying they may divorce their spouse. 00:20:58.880 --> 00:21:04.559 The goal, even in the most painful situations, is always restoration, if restoration is possible. 00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:11.200 I believe this is what Jesus is saying because look at verse 10 again, how the disciples respond. 00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:15.519 If this is the standard, it's better not to get married. 00:21:16.480 --> 00:21:18.880 Man, we need that back in our culture. 00:21:19.839 --> 00:21:20.960 Because you know what we do? 00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:22.400 We just try it on. 00:21:23.359 --> 00:21:26.799 And if we didn't really don't like it, we just get rid of it, like get something else. 00:21:27.599 --> 00:21:31.519 And what they said is that, whoa, Jesus, you're making it so hard. 00:21:31.680 --> 00:21:35.039 You're saying if I'm marry this person, I'm with her forever? 00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:50.400 Yeah, that's what he's saying, which is why we need to heed the warnings that we saw in the last series about dating and relationships, so that we're not just choosing someone because they're hot, we're choosing someone because they're holy. 00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:54.559 Because that is what matters. 00:21:54.880 --> 00:21:59.759 And when I'm making these vows before the Lord, I realize I'm signing up for. 00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:02.160 For better or for worse. 00:22:02.960 --> 00:22:04.400 Like I'm in this thing. 00:22:04.480 --> 00:22:08.880 And so therefore, if I'm nervous about that, I shouldn't sign up for it. 00:22:09.519 --> 00:22:11.440 That's ultimately what the disciples are saying. 00:22:11.519 --> 00:22:14.559 And Jesus' response doesn't say that they're not right. 00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:18.240 His response actually affirms, yeah, you're starting to get it. 00:22:18.799 --> 00:22:22.480 You're starting to see how big of a deal this marriage thing is. 00:22:22.559 --> 00:22:24.559 Which here's what I want to make sure and say this then. 00:22:24.640 --> 00:22:27.599 Some of you may be hanging on like a thread, and we're going to talk about that in just a moment. 00:22:27.680 --> 00:22:30.240 But some of you may look up here and say, Well, my marriage is fine. 00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:32.559 Look, fine's not the goal. 00:22:33.920 --> 00:22:36.319 Jesus says marriage is this important. 00:22:36.559 --> 00:22:38.799 This is how I'm going to answer the whole idea about divorce. 00:22:38.880 --> 00:22:40.720 So, meaning this, I don't want to be fine. 00:22:40.880 --> 00:22:48.240 I want to pursue his greatest potential that I possibly can because that's how much Jesus thinks about this relationship that I've entered into. 00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:50.319 So I want to pursue each other. 00:22:50.640 --> 00:22:52.400 I want to hold fast this marriage. 00:22:52.480 --> 00:22:56.720 I want to be glued together and become one flesh. 00:22:58.480 --> 00:23:00.960 I want you to turn over with me to Matthew chapter seven. 00:23:01.200 --> 00:23:02.079 Matthew chapter seven. 00:23:02.160 --> 00:23:09.279 We've seen here that adultery is the first exception to the rule about marriage. 00:23:09.759 --> 00:23:11.200 Divorce is permissible. 00:23:12.319 --> 00:23:13.200 It's permitted. 00:23:13.920 --> 00:23:16.720 First Corinthians chapter seven, let me give you the context. 00:23:18.160 --> 00:23:21.839 It's basically Paul writing to the church at Corinth, and they're just a mess. 00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:25.519 Like they are just, they've got issue after issue after issue. 00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:29.039 And each chapter, he's dealing with all the problems that he's hearing. 00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:35.519 And in chapter seven, he begins to talk about marriage relationships and all these different scenarios. 00:23:36.160 --> 00:23:46.240 And the one that he specifically is going to mention in verse 15 that I'm going to read here in just a second, is dealing with a believing spouse married to an unbelieving spouse. 00:23:47.039 --> 00:23:51.359 First of all, let's talk about the fact that the Bible is very clear that it says you shouldn't be in that situation. 00:23:51.599 --> 00:23:51.920 Okay? 00:23:52.160 --> 00:23:55.039 That's why it says you should not be unequally yoked. 00:23:55.200 --> 00:23:55.680 All right. 00:23:56.000 --> 00:23:58.480 What that means is that I'm running hard after Jesus. 00:23:58.640 --> 00:23:59.039 Remember that? 00:23:59.119 --> 00:24:00.000 I'm looking inside. 00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:05.759 If anybody else is running hard after Jesus, I'm not looking at somebody else who's not running after Jesus and then getting married. 00:24:05.839 --> 00:24:06.960 Then I'm already in a problem. 00:24:07.119 --> 00:24:07.440 Okay. 00:24:08.160 --> 00:24:15.200 Remember, this talks about if someone's running in this direction and you're running in this direction, you're eventually gonna end up praying for your spouse, not with your spouse. 00:24:15.440 --> 00:24:15.759 Okay. 00:24:16.400 --> 00:24:20.880 But let's say another scenario might be that you both are unbelievers and you get married. 00:24:21.279 --> 00:24:23.200 And then God saves one of you. 00:24:23.440 --> 00:24:27.279 And now you're married to somebody who is an unbeliever, even though you're now a believer. 00:24:27.359 --> 00:24:28.160 What do you do? 00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:28.720 Okay. 00:24:28.880 --> 00:24:30.880 Look at what it says in verse 15. 00:24:31.759 --> 00:24:35.119 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. 00:24:35.680 --> 00:24:38.720 In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved. 00:24:38.960 --> 00:24:41.039 God has called you to peace. 00:24:41.279 --> 00:24:43.519 Not enslaved is the key phrase there. 00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:50.480 If an unbelieving spouse walks out of the marriage, the believing spouse is no longer bound to it. 00:24:51.279 --> 00:24:54.640 The one who leaves has released the covenant. 00:24:55.440 --> 00:24:57.839 Paul is describing something different here. 00:24:57.920 --> 00:25:16.079 He's describing a situation where a believer is genuinely trying, repenting of their own sin, honoring their vows, doing the work, while the other party, who's an unbeliever, is not just difficult, but living in an ongoing, unrepentant sin, and the marriage is being abandoned in real time. 00:25:16.720 --> 00:25:20.480 Not in a legal sense, but in a covenant sense. 00:25:20.880 --> 00:25:27.599 One party is holding the covenant together, the other has already left it, even if they have not left the address. 00:25:27.680 --> 00:25:32.160 And in that case, in the case of abandonment, divorce is permitted. 00:25:32.319 --> 00:25:35.680 So we see adultery and we see abandonment. 00:25:36.160 --> 00:25:41.359 Let me give you a third one that you need to know the scriptures do not address at all. 00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:43.279 And that's abuse. 00:25:44.000 --> 00:25:45.119 That's abuse. 00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:56.319 What I want to tell you is this I believe that sustained abuse, particularly physical abuse, constitutes a form of covenant abandonment. 00:25:56.880 --> 00:26:01.839 The marriage covenant carries with it implicit obligations of protection and care. 00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:09.359 And when one person is systematically harming the other, they're not keeping the covenant, they're destroying it from the inside out. 00:26:10.720 --> 00:26:13.039 Please hear me if you're being physically abused. 00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:18.400 Your safety is not a secondary concern that takes a back seat to the marriage covenant. 00:26:19.680 --> 00:26:21.359 Your safety comes first. 00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:23.359 Tell someone that you trust today. 00:26:23.599 --> 00:26:25.920 Get yourself and your kids out of that situation. 00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:29.759 It's not a failure of faith, it's not giving up on your marriage, it's wisdom. 00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:39.039 God is not asking you to put your body in harm's way to preserve a covenant that the other party is already violating through their very harm. 00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:41.200 So let me plead with you. 00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:47.200 Come talk to a pastor, come talk to a staff member, come talk to our prayer team and let us help you. 00:26:49.519 --> 00:26:53.119 Jesus answered the Pharisees' question about whether divorce is permissible. 00:26:54.000 --> 00:27:00.559 But he never, they never got around to asking the question that I actually think matters most that he's trying to answer. 00:27:01.519 --> 00:27:02.799 Is it permanent? 00:27:04.240 --> 00:27:06.640 Can a person be more than their divorce? 00:27:07.599 --> 00:27:10.400 Can someone who's been through this be whole again? 00:27:10.640 --> 00:27:13.440 That's where this passage, that's where Jesus takes us next. 00:27:14.079 --> 00:27:15.119 Last thing I want you to see. 00:27:15.519 --> 00:27:16.720 God says about divorce. 00:27:17.599 --> 00:27:19.279 Divorce is not defining. 00:27:20.880 --> 00:27:22.319 Divorce is not defining. 00:27:24.079 --> 00:27:25.200 Divorce is real. 00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:27.839 It happens. 00:27:28.079 --> 00:27:29.599 Maybe it's your story. 00:27:29.839 --> 00:27:37.200 I'm not going to stand here and tell you that it didn't matter, you just decided to feel differently about it because that'd be totally dishonest, that'd be totally unkind. 00:27:38.799 --> 00:27:45.519 There's a massive difference between divorce being a part of your story and divorce being the whole of your story. 00:27:46.720 --> 00:27:49.920 I want you to turn with me to Romans chapter 8, if you would. 00:27:51.279 --> 00:27:58.480 Even if you I'm gonna put it on the screens, but I want you to see it with your phone, copy of God's word, whatever it is. 00:27:59.680 --> 00:28:01.119 Romans chapter eight, verse one. 00:28:01.279 --> 00:28:03.920 It's a great verse that I encourage you to memorize this week. 00:28:11.279 --> 00:28:14.240 There is therefore now no condemnation. 00:28:24.559 --> 00:28:26.559 Therefore, no condemnation. 00:29:05.519 --> 00:29:07.839 There is therefore now no condemnation. 00:29:17.680 --> 00:29:24.240 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ. 00:29:30.079 --> 00:29:31.680 This is your identity. 00:29:32.720 --> 00:29:38.559 Not divorced, not failed, not disqualified, but in Christ Jesus. 00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:43.200 All divorce involves sin somewhere. 00:29:43.680 --> 00:29:46.480 It does not happen in a vacuum where everyone is blameless. 00:29:46.640 --> 00:30:01.680 Sometimes a sin is mutual, sometimes it belongs primarily to one person, but sin has a savior, and the forgiveness of God is not issued with an asterisk that says, I forgive everything in your life except for that stuff in your marriage. 00:30:03.680 --> 00:30:09.039 There are only two labels that God sees in Christ and out of Christ. 00:30:10.559 --> 00:30:14.400 You are his child. 00:30:18.240 --> 00:30:22.880 Some of you are still in your marriage, and things are not good. 00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:26.720 In fact, they haven't been good for a while. 00:30:27.839 --> 00:30:33.200 And you sit here today, half wondering if God is not giving you the out. 00:30:54.720 --> 00:31:02.799 And they will be the first to give you testimony that the hardest season of their life became the most transformative story of grace that they've ever lived. 00:31:03.039 --> 00:31:06.720 God can resurrect a marriage if He can raise Jesus from the dead. 00:31:14.880 --> 00:31:16.559 But you gotta get help. 00:31:17.359 --> 00:31:24.240 You gotta talk to a pastor, you gotta talk to a counselor, you gotta reach out to somebody in your group, you gotta get with somebody on staff. 00:31:24.480 --> 00:31:25.839 Don't try to do this alone. 00:31:26.079 --> 00:31:28.160 Hold together yourself in private. 00:31:28.480 --> 00:31:31.680 The church exists to come alongside of you in this. 00:31:33.440 --> 00:31:35.920 Some of you come from divorced families. 00:31:36.400 --> 00:31:41.359 Your parents are divorced, grandparents were divorced, aunts and uncles are divorced. 00:31:42.160 --> 00:31:45.279 And you just assume it's your turn. 00:31:46.480 --> 00:31:49.599 Can I tell you that God can break generational curses? 00:31:50.960 --> 00:31:55.519