Embracing the Fiction Author Journey

69. Breaking down imposter syndrome, building confidence w/ Charlotte Chipperfield

• Erin P.T. Canning

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Every feel like a fraud? Imposter syndrome can plague even the most successful writers. 

In this episode, host Erin P.T. Canning chats with developmental editor and life coach Charlotte Chipperfield about strategies for overcoming imposter syndrome and building self-belief.

Listen in as they explore the root causes of imposter syndrome and practical tools to silence that inner critic. You’ll also learn how to build confidence through achievement and prove to yourself that you can be an author too. 

Topics discussed in this episode:

  • Origins of imposter syndrome
  • The female perspective
  • 4 questions to understand your imposter syndrome
  • Tips for managing imposter syndrome 
  • Fighting perfectionism 

Connect with Charlotte: 

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Erin:

How many times have you heard your inner voice telling you your writing isn't good enough? For many writers, that self doubt about our abilities and accomplishments tends to resurface time and again. Why? Because we fear being exposed as a fraud. And watching others succeed, even if we're rooting for them, can ensnare us in the comparison trap. Because we feel inadequate. But what if you could reframe that fear? What if you had a step by step method to stop imposter syndrome from holding you back? In today's episode, we're going to dive into how you can overcome imposter syndrome and build confidence. This work is foundational, empowering, and liberating. Because without imposter syndrome, you'll be free to prioritize your writing and have more confidence to express your ideas authentically. You'll be able to take ownership of your craft and ultimately thrive as an author. To help us get started on this journey, Charlotte Chipperfield is joining us today. She's a life coach, writer, and developmental editor. Those three roles combined mean she not only understands the challenges writers face, but she also has experienced imposter syndrome herself. Thanks to her work as a life coach and her perseverance to finish her own manuscript, Charlotte's able to share specific strategies for overcoming this overwhelming feeling. In this episode, you'll learn the answers to questions like, what's the source of imposter syndrome? Why do so many successful people still feel like frauds? When does imposter syndrome tend to strike the hardest? What practical tools can writers use to overcome imposter syndrome? So stay tuned to hear the answers, discover what strategies Charlotte and I have personally used to succeed, and learn how you can do this, too. Welcome to Parents Who Write, the podcast that helps parents pursue their writing dreams. I'm your host, Erin P.T. Canning. I'm a mom of two young boys, a writer, editor, and writing coach. My mission is to help you regularly make time for your writing, find your voice again, and confidently share your stories so that you can own your identity as a writer and be a happier, more patient parent. Hey friend! Thank you for joining me for another episode of Parents Who Write. Today I have with me Charlotte Chipperfield, who is a developmental editor, and we are going to be diving into imposter syndrome.

Charlotte:

Yes, we are. And I can already feel people cringing because I know that feeling is so uncomfortable.

Erin:

It is. I think one of the most frustrating things about imposter syndrome is that I don't think it ever fully goes away.

Charlotte:

It is true. Hopefully, we can learn some tools that help us maybe not have to beat it so aggressively but work with it.

Erin:

Okay, so why don't we start it from the beginning and go into what really is imposter syndrome.

Charlotte:

Yes, it is very much so that feeling of feeling like a fraud or like you're a phony. Or you shouldn't be in the room you're in. Or you don't know enough to be going for what you want. And I find that this really comes up a lot when we are starting something new or entering, you know, a new industry area that we've never learned much about. And specifically for writers, when you're starting out writing, it is such an overwhelming process, especially if you're starting with a novel and you just don't know what you don't know. And so you kind of start to compare to other people like, well, what is that author doing? Or how did they get published? Or what is their story about? And so, really, imposter syndrome, I think, has a lot of different roots in places it might come from. But ultimately, it's the sensation of feeling like we're going to get called out as a fraud, and that we're just kind of, it's safer to downplay our accomplishments, or what it is that we're looking to work towards, or our writing goals.

Erin:

Safer to downplay our accomplishments. Isn't that the truth? But it's also painful. That's something that I had to actively work on to stop doing, and I'm grateful that I've had mentors who called me out and they were like, no, no, no, no, no. Let's just list what you've done. But I think also maybe for women in particular it's hard because of the fact that we're also taught don't brag. Don't boast. Do you have any comments on that?

Charlotte:

Yes. I mean, I think that's such like you hit the nail on the head with talking about women specifically. I think we are told to stay small. Don't take up too much space. Say just enough, but not too much. I think we live in this world of contradictories, and so much of that does come from the patriarchy, which we are fighting against. There's a lot of that narrative that we kind of internalize. And so then there's this push and pull because it's like we want to be a selling author or whatever our writing goals might be, but there's also a sense of like, oh, but that's too big for me, or I shouldn't want that for myself. And I've experienced that myself as well. It's like how do you use your voice? And that's something I'm really passionate about. That's why I named my company HerNarrative, because I'm really passionate about supporting women to bring their stories forward into the world because we have such a unique perspective on the world. If you think about it, growing up in our English classes, we always read books from the male perspective. We were like inherently trained to be like, this is how the world is viewed, is through this male lens. And I think that more and more women, as we get our books published and out into the world, um, we get to share our perspective. We get to share the lessons and the challenges that we have experienced and overcome, if it be through the fiction lens or non fiction. We also get to expose other people to those experiences, and hopefully that not only relates to other people that have experienced similar things, but maybe it can also fuel new ideas for other people, which can then fuel change. And that's what I think is really exciting about bringing our stories forward and really owning our voice.

Erin:

I love that. The, uh, motto for my website when I first opened it is, Our Voices and Stories Matter.

Charlotte:

Yes, exactly.

Erin:

It's, yeah, 100 percent true. I know that you are going to take us through tips for managing imposter syndrome, but I love that you touched upon just really sitting there and thinking about how important it is for us to share our narrative and how that alone can help push us through imposter syndrome, holding on to that big why, that motivation. You already touched upon some of the sources for imposter syndrome. Are there any others that you can think of just off the top of your head, or maybe we just didn't get to them yet?

Charlotte:

Yeah. Ultimately, I think it is that feeling of not feeling good enough to go for what we want. That in itself can then fuel a lot of, um, perfectionism or, you know, fear of getting started or the writer's block. And so it can create resistance, which will show up differently for different people. Underneath that, if we kind of peel back the layers and spend some time with it and turn into it versus resisting it and pushing it away, when we turn into that, there's often a limiting belief that's behind there. Our beliefs are the thoughts and statements that we've taken on as our own, regardless of where they come from. It can come from media, our friends, our family, school, just being a human in this world. And so that can then spill out to be a belief, like my writing isn't good enough, or I'll never be a published author or just my writing sucks. there are some questions I'd love to share if someone is feeling like they're in that place, um, and kind of wrestling with that imposter syndrome. And if imposter syndrome or fear, they can sometimes go hand in hand, like when we're able to turn into it and sit with it, which feels counterintuitive in the moment, because you're kind of like, oh, negative emotion, get away. I don't want to deal with you. But that's when it will start to come up more and more and more because it's there for a reason, and most often it is trying to protect us, um, Um, from getting harmed. It's how our brains work. We're still very much so similar to the cave people that we come from. There aren't saber tooth lions running around anymore or tigers, but you know, our brains do also want to make sure that we're safe. And so when we start something new, our brains are kind of like, wait a second, are we going to be able to survive this? Is this safe for us to do this? And so,

Erin:

To be fair, social media can feel like lions and tigers are still out to get us. So,

Charlotte:

It's true. Yes. And I think it also fuels that comparison game too. So it's very easy to be like, Oh my gosh, that person just sat down and wrote 2, 500 words today. And like they've got an agent, and I'm just sitting here stuck with a blank page in front of me. And so yes, absolutely. Social media can definitely be, be that place.

Erin:

Yeah. So, uh, what are the questions that you would like to take people through?

Charlotte:

Yeah. So if you do have a belief that's coming to mind and it might be something like, I'm not a good enough writer, the first question I like to invite people to, to ask is just, is this true for you some of the time or all of the time? And most often the answer to that is that it's sometimes. And so, that's also just like a little piece of comfort to be like, okay, this isn't something that's defining me; it's just something that I experience.. So then the next question I invite people to ask is, can you think of an example when this is not true, either for yourself or someone else? The next question is then thinking about a little bit of the opposite. And this isn't to say that you need to go from like zero to 100 and just completely change your mindset. It can be really hard to just go from a negative state to a fully positive and be fake and like, Oh, everything's great. That's not the goal. The goal is to try and just move a little bit away from that negativity. And so the question is kind of what might be a more empowering belief. So if you are like, my writing is terrible, then what might be slightly more empowering? So that might be a statement of like, I am learning to become a better writer. So there is that sense of like, I am on my journey, and I'm learning and I will continue to become a better writer.

Erin:

I love that. One of my mentors, they would call it going to a neutral statement.

Charlotte:

Right. Right.

Erin:

So, and that's kind of like what you were saying about how I am learning. Right? And not like, I'm going to become the best writer in the world, but instead, I am learning, and that's okay. I had a mentor who would tell us over and over and over again, it's okay to experiment and have fun, even later in life. Right?

Charlotte:

It's so true.

Erin:

When we're kids, we're experimenting and have fun all the time. And we fall on our butt and we kind of laugh at it, and we just get up and keep going or, okay, maybe not always. But we get through it. But then all of a sudden, I don't know, I think when we get older. We think, no, I should know everything now.

Charlotte:

Yes, that's true. And yes, I think the demands of life and everything feels serious and like we have to have a plan and know what we're doing. And it's, there is that expansion that can happen when we do invite play and just get to experiment. There's so much value in that as well.

Erin:

When I, um, first came back into writing after taking a six to seven year hiatus, I had to give myself permission to experiment and have fun. And it started off with my blog posts that were more creative nonfiction, and I never did creative nonfiction. I was always at my heart from childhood a fiction writer. And I was terrified that my writing skills had gone to shit because of taking such a long break. But I had to say to myself over and over again, I can experiment and have fun and just see where it goes. And that just took so much pressure off of me and gave me the chance to enjoy exploring again. And that's what opened up those doors for me. So yes, I invite everybody to experiment and have fun.

Charlotte:

Yeah, that's really amazing. I love that segway, because my last question in that kind of series of thinking about imposter syndrome is what action step could you take in the next week to test out your new belief, or even if it's more neutral belief. That could be how can I experiment this week with my writing? Or how can I learn one new thing about writing fiction? So it could be super simple. It could even be, I need to go take a nap, and I need to take a break. It doesn't have to be this world changing next step. But just something that gets you still moving in the right direction and kind of takes you out of that free state of I'm feeling overwhelmed. I can't do anything.

Erin:

I love mentoring, right? They would describe that as what's the tiniest next step that you can take that's impossible to fail.

Charlotte:

Yes.

Erin:

I love that you took us through those questions. Thank

Charlotte:

Yeah.

Erin:

Do you have any additional tips for helping us to actually, uh, deal with or manage imposter syndrome?

Charlotte:

Yeah. Something else that can be helpful, if you do the previous questions mentioned or not, um, it can be really helpful just to even journal out a couple sentences of like why you feel like this is coming up or just any feelings that are coming up around it. Um, it could again be writing down that belief. Um. And what I would do with that paper is to actually then set it away from you. So you could set it on a chair. You could set it on a different desk or your bedroom, wherever it feels right. It's just to set it away from you and be able to look at it and just go, okay, those are feelings that are now like separate from me. They're not necessarily a part of me. Having literal physical distance between some of our feelings and emotions can actually help us become a little bit more calm in our body. It's like taking a deep breath. And then we can kind of look at them a little bit more objectively versus feeling like we're contracting into them within our body.

Erin:

Mm.

Charlotte:

Then, as you're looking at those feelings, you can also, go through those questions, like is this true for me? Is this not? What about this experience feels so scary? So what about the experience of imposter syndrome is the scariest? And then if that fear or imposter syndrome wasn't there, what would you do differently? Which I think is a really powerful question, because again, it gets our brain into the expansion of what's possible versus the sitting here, like, feeling overwhelmed, um, not sure what to do, and feeling like phony. Again, it gets our brains to think, like, what is the possibility here?

Erin:

So, that's interesting because I went through an exercise where we had to actually identify our worst fear and ask, and what are the consequences of it? So when I first started blogging, I was specifically writing about my dad disowning me. And before I sat down to actually write them, my mentor asked me, you know, what is your biggest fear if, if you actually do go and write these pieces that have just been sitting inside me? And I was like, well, he's, he's going to retaliate. And she was like, okay, so what does that actually look like? Like he's already disowned you. How's he going to retaliate at this point? And so I had to actually list it and be like, well, he could attack me on social media because I've seen him do that before. I don't think he'd like send me a letter or anything. He lives in Florida. It's not like he's flying up here. But the biggest one that I could see was attacking me on social media. When I wrote that down and I looked at the words and I thought, but what does that say about me if he actually did? Like if people, if my audience saw my dad lashing out at me on social media, and I'm not the type of person to engage in that, would my audience think less of me? And I was thinking, no, I don't think they would. I think maybe they'd have more empathy for me and be like, oh, my gosh, that poor person. Maybe let me go read those blog posts because now I'm starting to see maybe what she was talking about. Um, and so, like, once I confronted those fears, I realized that they weren't that terrifying. It would be manageable, and also the chance of him actually doing it was slim. Like, I published the blog posts, and because he's blocked me, like, on everything, I don't think he's ever read them. I don't think he even knows that I have a website. He certainly hasn't read my novels. Side note, my character has like the best relationship with her dad in my book. What does that say about? Okay, anyway, sorry. Um, but yeah, so anyway, just what you were saying about facing those fears in a sense, or like trying to acknowledge them and think it through, like, maybe it's actually not that scary.

Charlotte:

It's very true. And sometimes when you put that down, especially look at it on a piece of paper, it oftentimes isn't as scary. It might still feel scary, but it's kind of like to your point, like, okay, well, there's actually tools that can help support me. Like I can block this person on social media and delete the comments and not engage. And so that is the part where like our brains can start to be like, oh, okay, there are ways that we can handle this and deal with it.

Erin:

So let's talk about, for a writer who's writing a fiction book, let's say your worst fear is you write this book, you publish it, and then what would be the biggest fear? People don't buy it? Or they do and they hate it and they leave bad reviews. Okay, we've named the fear. What are the tools that can then help pass that, right? Like, okay, I wrote a book. Dude, celebrate that. Regardless, you wrote a book.

Charlotte:

Huge accomplishment.

Erin:

Massive. What is it, like, 5 percent of people finished their first drafts? And that 5%, only 1 percent actually published the book.

Charlotte:

Yes. I think there's that's a very real fear of I'm only gonna get negative reviews, and I've heard that a lot with clients that I work with and I coach them on. And I think if you look at any book that's ever been published, there's a negative review.

Erin:

Yep.

Charlotte:

I think if you can work into the acceptance of there's going to be some negative reviews, which is way easier said than done, um, but I do think, even bestselling books, people are like I don't like it. Cause again, like it's very much so like an art form and it's subjective. You're going to be some people's cup of tea and not other people's, and that's very okay. There's going to be a mix of reviews, and you can then decide how much you want to engage and read those.

Erin:

And you know what? Maybe actually that's a learning opportunity of, you know what? Maybe my blurb isn't targeting the right audience because the whole world is not your audience. So maybe once you've had a chance to like process negative reviews and like put up those healthy boundaries and figure out what you can deal with, right? Maybe, maybe if the reviews are like, oh, the couple didn't wind up together, and I'm so angry, like, oh my gosh, I marketed this as a romance. It's not a romance. I didn't realize that I was marketing to the wrong audience. Of course, they're going to be angry. Um, so, there are lessons that can also be in there where it's like, you know what, but now I know and now I can fix that. I can, I can learn from that. And so I just, I would hope that it wouldn't stop anybody permanently because you can definitely learn from that. Speaking of people being able to learn from their opportunities and we're all growing and evolving, I mean, I love talking with authors who have like 20 books out and when they go back and read their first book, they're like, this is the most awful thing I've ever written. I can't believe I did this. Right? So it's constantly an evolution, I think. But you, as a developmental editor, do you want to talk to us a little bit about that? Or your writing background, your journey? Have you had to deal with imposter syndrome in your line of work?

Charlotte:

Yes. Yes. And yes. I am a developmental editor and book coach. As a kid, I was always writing books. So as, as a kid, other kids were out playing soccer, I was self publishing my own books with cardboard and ribbon binding, and just storytelling has always been such a big part of myself. And so, you know, there was definitely a lot of narratives growing up like you can't be successful as a writer or like you can't make money as an artist. And so I ended up gravitating towards marketing for the storytelling aspects because I loved the development of the brands and the brand stories. And so I did tons of writing around like social media posts and email marketing and blogs and content strategy and all of those pieces. And I just started to realize that I was spending so much of my time in the technical backend side and working with engineering teams and analyzing data, and I was like, this is not how my brain works and I can't do it anymore. There was just less and less creativity. And so that's when I spent a lot of time working with a coach of my own and just really getting back to my core values and my why. And so much of it came back to the storytelling piece. It, you know, I'd also taken years off of writing my novel because I was just didn't have the creative capacity to focus on it. And I knew that that needs to be a priority because I need to get my story out.

Erin:

Mm

Charlotte:

And so I am working on my first novel and then also became a developmental editor. And then also became a life coach. So I do, um, combine those two things together with Her Narrative and helping women to bring their story forward. So I can coach writers through the process of the writing of their book, and then also help with the manuscript review and developmental edits.

Erin:

That's fantastic. I love how you combine those those two different coaching mentalities together. So, you said that you paused a book? That you're writing a book? What are you stuck with? What are your challenges?

Charlotte:

Well, I used to be just a pantser. I just write from the seat of my pants. Um, and so I got stuck in the murky middle, which is very common I think for a lot of authors. And I started outlining at that point, which was great in the sense that I got to maintain a lot of what I'd written. But now I've had to like jigsaw it back into place and make it make sense, which has been really challenging. So I almost had the first draft like flushed out now. It's not quite at the word count I wanted it to be, um, but it's going to be in a really good place. I tend to sometimes just want to write to get the story out, and I will leave myself a lot of notes of like, come back and describe this more, come back and describe this.

Erin:

Yes, I know what you mean. That's one of my favorite things, though, to get over roadblocks, and when I discovered that, that was a huge change for me, where I could just put in brackets, argue over stupid thing, move on. I know what else I want to happen in the scene. Or describe house, bracket. Like I don't, I don't want to stop and think about it. I wound up going to Zillow, found the house of like my dreams that I wanted, and then I was looking at the house description so I didn't have to look up like what kind of brick and da da da da. So, yay for Zillow for describing houses

Charlotte:

idea. I love that. That's a great

Erin:

Yeah, it worked so good. Um, but for the longest time it was just a bracketed standalone sentence, describe house. And you know what? It helped me finish my first draft. So, um.

Charlotte:

And I think that it's like, I even put so much pressure on myself. And I think it comes back to that, like perfectionism, right? It's my first book. So like the imposter syndrome of like, I need this first draft to be perfect. That's absolutely not how it works. Um, but I had that sense, and I think that's why it also derailed me for so long and just like not being able to get that first draft out, um, because I wanted it to be specific word count. I wanted it to be near perfect. I wanted all those perfect descriptions. And it's like, Oh my gosh, you can't. And so now it's about just sitting down and like keep going forward, keep writing forward, and like you can make as many notes as you want in the draft. No one's ever going to see it. And you can come back and flush it out how it makes sense for you.

Erin:

Exactly. And you know what? It keeps coming back for me. I'm working on book three now. I wound up having to pause the draft and move into more of a discovery draft because I could feel that the plot wasn't working. And so just by stepping out of the prose, I could look at the structure more. And like you said then I had to go back and jigsaw it back together again and make it make sense. And once I did that, it was moving along better. But what I've noticed is that when I'm getting close to finishing the real first draft, uh, the imposter syndrome comes back of me being like, Oh my gosh, this sucks. This is terrible. Like, it's just not good enough for whatever reason maybe. But, I had the exact same reaction with Book 2. And when I finished that first draft, that, that real first draft in a sense, um, and then I went back and started flushing it out more and more, I was, I could feel myself being like, Oh my God, this is really turning into something fantastic. But like, I'm there again with book three of this is crap. And, and oh my gosh, book two came out so fantastic. How can I ever match that again? And I have to sit with the fear. Take a deep breath. And tell myself look what you did with book two. It worked out. It's gonna be okay. This is still just a first draft. Finish it. And I had to keep telling myself that over and over again as I was getting through the murky middle, out of it, heading toward the climax. And then, my funny thing is, I got to like the key chapter, like the climactic chapter, and I couldn't bring myself to open up the word doc anymore. So instead, I started writing it in a note on my phone. And now I have an entire chapter in a note in my phone. And I don't know what it was, the different setting, the different medium that I was using, the fact that I had to use my thumbs that allowed my brain to just slow down and be more in the moment. Maybe because it was so tiny and condensed, it didn't feel as overwhelming as a big Word document. I don't know, but I just know that I was stuck on not being able to write that last chapter for a week and a half. And now I have this ridiculous note that I have to copy and paste into my Word document. But, um,

Charlotte:

Well, I think that's true. It's like imposter syndrome, it's never going to completely go away. And there's going to be certain stages that it will come up. And I think you have a great example there of like, as you're reaching the end, because you're then having to move on to a different stage, right? So you've got that draft. So then you're moving into the editing stage. And I see that a lot with the clients that I'm working with. With the key milestones that come with writing also comes the imposter syndrome because again, you're moving into something new. Even if you've done it before, like you're still, it's a new story. It's a new experience, a new level of writing. And so as you're constantly reaching these new heights and these new milestones, you are going to have it come up again. It might not feel as intense as it did before, but I think like you did exactly is just creating the space for it and kind of knowing like, Oh yeah, you're right on time. This is exactly when you were supposed to be here. If you can kind of play with it a little bit more, it can also make it a little bit easier to move through.

Erin:

Yeah, and also now I can make room for it when I'm writing book four and be like, Okay, just know that this is when the anxiety is going to ramp up. And so I need a little time to give myself time to feel it so I can get through it. And, oh, book four. Nope, not going to think about book four. I'm thinking about book three right now. Got to finish book three.

Charlotte:

That's such a huge accomplishment. Congratulations.

Erin:

Thank you. Thank you. Well, keep us posted with your book, and we'd love to have you back, especially when book one is out. Take us through that whole

Charlotte:

love that. I know.

Erin:

Yes. All right. Do you have any last, final, pearly words of wisdom for someone to take home? Like, if this is the one thing that they walk away with, what do you want that to be?

Charlotte:

Yes. Oh gosh. I think it's keep going. I know it's, it might be challenging or it might be hard, but, um, keep going. And be kind to yourself in the process. I think that's a big, big part of it as well.

Erin:

I agree, I agree. All of your contact information is available in the show notes, so everybody can find you there. Do you want to share with us where they can find you.

Charlotte:

Yeah. Everyone can find me at HerNarrative. com. That's kind of the hub of, uh, where you can find me, links to my social accounts. And then also on the homepage of my website, if you just scroll down slightly, I have a free novel writing checklist, which can be really helpful when you're getting started. It's like chock full of resources to help you along the way as well and then also has some tracks for, um, both self publishing and traditional publishing as you're preparing for that.

Erin:

I love it. Thank you so much again.

Charlotte:

Yes. Thank you.

Erin:

Alright, thanks to Charlotte, you just learned practical strategies you can use to break down imposter syndrome and build confidence in your writing abilities. You can find her at HerNarrative. com. Just remember, you're not alone in your writing journey, and if you want a like minded community that will cheer you on to finish your manuscript, then join the Parents Who Write Facebook group so you can embrace your voice with confidence now. Before your day gets too busy, open your Facebook app right now and search for Parents Who Write. See you inside the group!

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Erin P.T. Canning

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