First Look Gnomes: The Archives – Building Our Dream Pub (Moon Under Water Podcast Inspired)

From the archives of First Look Gnomes…

In this classic episode, we recreate the format of The Moon Under Water podcast and design our ultimate dream pub from scratch.

From the perfect pub name and location to the drink selection, atmosphere, pub rules, and questionable entertainment choices, we build our fantasy local — and inevitably argue about the details.

Along the way, we explore:

• British pub culture
• What makes the perfect pub
• Nostalgic pub memories
• Signature drinks and draft picks
• The social rituals that make pubs iconic

If you enjoy pub chat, comedy podcasts, creative formats, and discussions inspired by The Moon Under Water, this archive episode is for you.

Whether you're into British pub traditions, building your own dream pub, or relaxed conversational podcasts, this episode delivers laughs, nostalgia, and friendly debate.

Pull up a stool and join us.

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Don't forget to email Firstlookgnomes@outlook.com with your feedback

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Transcript

Opening The Archive

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Season five coming soon. Meanwhile, let's open the vault and look back at the archives.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

So Mr. Hoschkiss.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

I'm not absolutely expecting you to burst out a song. I was trying to think of a song placed around a number nine.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

So I have been messaging a fairly famous, fairly famous German singer. Oh. I think they're quite famous actually in Germany, but they're fairly famous over here. Umstein? Oh no, no, no. Not that famous, they're fairly famous. So fairly famous in Germany. A German band. And I asked them if they would do us an intro. Okay. Do you know what they said to me? Go away, nothing.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Hold load and sinker. I fell for that. Hold load and sinker.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

I've got to tell it, I've got to read this one out because it is hilarious. Why did the bar literally teacher break up with a physics teacher? Because there was no chemistry.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

So the doctor went to the doctors and the doctor said on how to type A blood on any amount of me, but it turns out it's a good type note. Insert its hand effect here. But um big news.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

Oh, yes, big news.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

We have now penetrated. I don't know if that's the most appropriate word, but we have now penetrated.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

We don't say that word these days. We're like, well, penetrating.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

I think it depends on the context. The fact you stopped me halfway from the sentence makes it sound better. We have now penetrated the borders of 17 countries. 17 countries. 17 countries. We're listening to in 17 countries.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

In terms of KPIs, you know, it was our ambition. So when we set this podcast up. Well, our ambition is how many countries are in the world? I think our ambition was literally make something for your fiancee, fiance to listen to. That was a bonus. So 17 countries.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

You come in, the fireplace is crackling, so big old fireplace is crackling. There's a handful of people in there. You've got Joe, the local in the corner, big beard. I love Joeing his crossword puzzle, a sleeping doggo by the fireplace. Nice. Um probably not. Oh chuck it labrador because it'll just jump at every single person that comes in. Hanging hanging over the bar. You've got a collection of beer mats on the wall. Brilliant. So it's fairly quiet, but also there's enough people there to give it a bit of a bit of a buzz. And you've got some you've got some old old blokes in the corner that are actually sea shanty singers, and they're having a little sing song in the corner. They've had a few, you know, not too many beers, but they've had a few beers, they're singing in the corner. A little bit like the the old trip to Jerusalem in Nottingham, but built into like a cliff edge by the coast. That and that that sort of vibe. Yeah, yeah, it's nothing fancy. Behind the bar as well is an old school TV, you know, the ones that have got the huge backs like none of this flat screen business.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

Yeah. A proper back side.

Setting The Pub Scene

SPEAKER_02 4:30

Yeah, one of those in the corner. Sound off though. Sounds off.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

Of course, you know what's a sound on a TV, do they?

SPEAKER_02 4:36

And it's only it's playing, you know, Shearer's top 100 goals. Maybe a bit of darts or something, big golf. You know, that's just in the in the background type thing. It does a nice sun decovery.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Like, can you get a cheese and onion coal?

SPEAKER_02 4:54

Uh no, you can't, so not at the land flag. No, not on the land flag, no. But it's got uh on the on on the behind the bar, you've got those tubs of Bombay mix, pork scratchings, chili, chili bites, you know, those jars that have been there since the 90s. With the same stuff in there, they've not been open for ages. What else we've got? We've got a quizzy, got a quizzy in the corner, you know, who wants to be who wants to be a millionaire, one of those sort of games. And uh behind the bar, we've got a big old box and bar made behind the bar.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

Of course you've got a box and bar made. Christina Hendrix.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

No, like like um well, yeah, in terms of box and size, yeah, probably yes. But they've got yeah, Cornish, Cornish box and made behind the number, uh the usual. Yeah, they've yeah, they've got on their CV, they've had German Oktoberfests. Yeah. Nine? Um Oktoberfests of experience, arm wrestling champions. So you're the type that they're friendly, but they can carry uh quite a few uh big old jokes of being.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

She likes having a joke, but don't take the piss because she'll knock you out kind of woman. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

Yeah, she'll keep the place under control, and if you do stare at a place you shouldn't be staring at, she will slap you around the face. Slap you around the face. But yeah, so welcome to uh the lamb and flag Mr.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

Hodgkin's. Hang on, I've just got a slap around the face, sorry.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

But yeah, welcome to the uh welcome to the lamb flag and the landlord. Let me just uh wipe the bar for you, uh Mr. Hodgkin. Uh yeah, so this is this is the uh the pub where you can uh design your own pub. It is limited though by the uh the dream brewery, so there are some limitations. Um but um yeah, pull up a stool or or what you're what do you do? Do you like to lean at the bar? Do you like to uh have a bar stool? Do you like a comfy seat?

SPEAKER_01 6:52

Oh I like I like working in a bar. You see okay, right. One of my most favourite memories and favourite jobs was actually working in the bar. So I I if I'm I am frequenting the pub, I it's generally so I'd I'd probably be leaning towards going to the dart board. I'd probably want some snacks. I'd have to go and stand out to the dog.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

Yeah, I love a pub dog.

Dream Brewery Rules And First Draft Picks

SPEAKER_01 7:17

So I'd be inappropriately just going and being over familiar with whoever owns the dog, saying, Oh no, the dog just play with the dogs. Then I'd I would order a pint of I'd find I'd find the most randomists. Yeah, what what can what can I get you crazy? I'd like a pint. I'd I'd I'm coming on pub, I want a pint, and I want something I've not tried before, and I want something local. So, you know, what is made around here, so you know.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

Well, at the other Lambert flags that I'll bring on to my um my first question to you. So at the Dream Brewery, you're only allowed two draft pipes. Okay. Um so two two things on draft. So at the Lambert flag, I have on one tap we have a menadou. So menadu is a stout from St. Austral Brewery. Um Guinness, but better. It's a Cornish Guinness, basically. So we've got a nice, a nice men a doo on tap, and also we've got Kimberly Mild. Kimberly Mild. So we've got some Kimberly Mild on tap. So if you like uh Kimberly Mild, please, all day long. Okay, one second. Let me just uh let me just pull your Kimberly Mildred. Sorry, you're you're saying, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

I was just saying I'm gonna go and probably have a little go on the dance board, but you know, I'm also I'm also quite happy for short staff to kind of come behind the bar, and you know, um I in especially a sad in a way, you know, I am a boxome I am a boxom curvaceous German farm wrestler.

SPEAKER_02 8:42

You're obviously here today to uh design your your dream pub.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

Also, I beg your pardon.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

Yes, yeah, you're you're you're in my dream pub at the moment. But um and I've I've just served you there you go, there you go. So there's your pint McKinley Mild. So what's what would be your two uh draft items?

SPEAKER_01 9:01

Oh so I would have Banks' mild without a shadow of a doubt.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

I yeah, I do like a Banks' mild.

Session Strengths And The Art Of A Long Night

SPEAKER_01 9:08

And I would also go for a so I can have anything I want. Anything you want, that's that you can get on taps. So I would go for a Granville Lion's Winter Ale. Okay. So Gravel Island is a place in Vancouver, and they have a brewery there. And at Christmas they do a lion's winter ale. It's just delicious. There's also another one called Whistler Chestnut Ale. Uh Whistler Whistler Chestnut Trail Ale, it's called another one of my favourites. But if I can only have two, I'd go for the yeah, I'd go for the Winter Lion's Ale, and just because it's Bank the Banks is mile, so Warhampton, the Banks' Brewery, the Banks is Mile. When we started drinking back in the day, uh there was a local pub, and it was£1.27 a pint. And because it's weak, you could have a six to seven of them for under for if my math is correct, for under a tenner, feel like you're a big lad because you've drank six pints, but you you know, it's only 3.4%, so you're not really very drunk, but it was a nice social drink. I think all these like five and a half, six percenters, like you're getting drunk too quickly on them. Like, if I'm going to the pub, I want to be there. So again, I want I want a pub that has a raucous atmosphere by eight o'clock, and I don't want to be kicked out at 811. I want to be kicked at 12 o'clock is fine. So I want a good four hour session. If I'm gonna be there for four hours, I'm not drinking five and a half percent beer, because by the time it gets to half past ten, I'd have had three or four pints and I'd be pissed as apart. Or staff can get really pissed, and then when you get to like five and six, you're at the territory where more times than now, Greg. Well, you know what I mean though. By the time you get to like pint number five, like the five percent stuff, you're really starting to feel like, oh dear, maybe I shouldn't be drinking much. Whereas if you're on the three and a half percent stuff, you still got plenty of gas in the tank.

SPEAKER_02 11:07

Someone someone gave a a good quote, I can't remember who it was, but they said, Um, the problem with alcohol is it doesn't quite work. So basically it's you you're always trying to get that feeling that you can't quite get yes, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

Well, this is this is where banking model plays a beauty, you see. I think too many people they they reject the weaker beer in favour of the strong stuff. Gotta get pissed as quick as I can. And the the happy spot with true with drunkenness, I find, is that a little bit of tipsiness, and you're never straying too far, you just stay in that happy zone. Five and a half percent stuff, five percent stuff, it takes you too far. Stay stay at the four percent, three point eight percent, even three point four, and keep just keep happy to the yeah. You will have a you will enjoy the evening more.

SPEAKER_02 11:59

You will, you will. So also at your your pub, yes, um, you can have two two different types of cans or bottles. Oh uh, so any anything commercially available in a pub or a restaurant, so bottle bottles or cans.

SPEAKER_03 12:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

So I would have a Wayne Gretzky 99 Pinot Grigio that uh if you once and I had in uh in Canada. Oh lovely, lovely wine. We've got in hot springs, we've got stuck, we've got snowed in, and we just got piddled on this Pinot Grigio from the uh the Wayne Gretzky famous Canadian. Yes. Uh he's got his own his own winery, is that what we call it? A winery?

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_02 12:43

Yeah, a place that sells wine. Um makes wine. Um and then also randomly is a I and I don't even know the name of it, but it's and yeah, we doesn't have to always be alcohol. But the Land Flag we have this bottled water from I think it's called Axbridge near Cheddar Gorge. And I don't know what it was, but it was the best water I've ever drunk. I don't know if I was dehydrated that day or or what, but yeah, this bottle of water that we had in a place near Cheddar Gorge, a place we're staying, was the best water. So we've got that uh bottled water in stock as well. See that at the land flag hang.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

That's nice to give people an option as well for the non-drinkers there. Yeah, exactly.

Bottles And Cans: Stories From Canada And Cheddar

SPEAKER_02 13:27

I wouldn't be as hard. I wouldn't it's it's really good water. I don't know how to describe it, but I suppose the only way you can describe it is when you try to remember a time when you've been so thirsty, like really thirsty, or really hung over, and it's like that that water is just quenched your being.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

Yeah, see in that case, replace water with KFC. I'm hungover. My body is craving something. Yeah, you probably need some water. No, I don't.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

So what would you have would you have a bottle of KFC gravy, maybe?

SPEAKER_01 14:01

See, this is my pub is not a pub for people who don't want to booze. You know, boozing I I like the booze, like to drink.

SPEAKER_02 14:10

So for me, would you have a would you have a wine or gin?

SPEAKER_01 14:13

No, I'd have a bottle of gin though. Bottle gin? Yeah, so I'd probably go. So when it comes to spirits, any particular brands? There is there's a couple of that I like. They're oh it would be tough to pick a favourite of the gins. I'll give an honourable mention to a gin bean maple syrup, which is quite hard to get in this country. A gym bean maple syrup with a bit of coke, it's very sweet, but it's it's a lovely bit of drink.

SPEAKER_02 14:40

I've always had a soft spot for southern corn, but the problem there, if you if you obviously that was just an honourable mention, but that'll be two, you need a bottle of coke and a bottle of gym bean.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

Oh, okay. Well okay, so I'll give another honorable mention to cans. Um a can. Yeah. So I'll give an honorable mention a cannons of pilsner can, which I think is a great pilsner beer. But these aren't your actual picks, though. No, I don't think so, no. No, I think just give an arrow mention to the gym bean, I'm gonna mention to southern but if I had to pick, I'd probably go for bottles of just tonic. Like I don't I don't like I don't like this slimline tonic. I don't like all this other crap. I'd go for oh, you know, why you know I'd also go potentially a bottle of lemon. Well I might be able to get on the next on the next bit. Okay, so I'm I'm gonna go gin and tonic. I think gin and tonic is a is a crack in the ginger, a bottle of gin and a bottle of tonic. So I'm gonna go for just sweats tonic. I don't all this beef between lines and so on and I'm just going to bottle standard, bull fat shweps, ice, life to lemon, and for the gin.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

So in in your pub you would have to buy a bottle of tonic and a bottle of gin. Yeah, I think so. Okay. This is a this is a happy place.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

I mean you can pour the gin into a glass and just you know, you don't have you're wondering why the bottle, but yeah. Is there a lot of inter spirits later on? There is. Okay, so okay, I'll leave it. So you could have a gin and tonic. Right, right. Okay, so we'll part of the gin and tonic. That's coming later down the line. So that in that case, I will go for Yes, and bottles.

SPEAKER_02 16:25

Bottles like your wines, or you know, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

You know what I'm gonna go for?

SPEAKER_01 16:30

I'm gonna go for some blue WKD and a bottle of Ruby port so that people can get snatch on cheeky vim toes, which is a thing I like to drink at Christmas.

SPEAKER_02 16:42

A bottle of Ruby port.

SPEAKER_01 16:45

Which is also I suggest they buy one bottle of ruby port for 20 bottles of blue WKD. So mix them together, have some cheeky vim toes. It's a celebratory pump. No one's judging you here. We're not drinking snobs. So someone's getting a bottle of Ruby port and 20 blue bottles. 20 blue bottles of WKD. Mix it all together in a big joke. Have a good time, party central. Enjoy yourself. They called so for our foreign listeners, blue WKD is this, it's like a lemonade y, blueberry. It's a drink that is blue in colour.

SPEAKER_02 17:23

I mean, it's it's the nearest thing. It's made in Northern Ireland.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

But you didn't know that.

SPEAKER_02 17:27

A bit like alcoholic alcoholically. Alcoholic mountain dew, maybe yeah, a bit like alcoholic mountain dew.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

And it's it's like uh it's like uh the the blue flavour. It's it's a beautiful blue colour, completely fake looking, but also one of these ones where it says no artificial colours added. So, like, how can you get a colour like that? But probably like a blue raspberry eight. Obviously, a ruby port is you know, just it's lovely on its own, just on a bit of ice. But you get a double sort of ruby port, you mix it with this the blue Dubai KD stuff. It tastes like a pop that we have over here or soda called Vimto, which is like a graven blueberry busy drink. And it's just uh it just reminds me of being 18, 7, maybe 17 in the moon in funnel enough, the moon underwater in Wolverhampton, drinking these jugs of cheeky Vimto and just having an absolute blast with my palms. So, yeah, there we go. Rubenport Loon WKD.

Cocktails, Old Fashioneds, And Navy Rum

SPEAKER_02 18:28

And next up, uh your dream pub, so you can have sort of two spirits mixers, cocktails on the menu, wherever you like of that of that sort of ilk. So at the uh the lamb flag, we can offer you old fashioned the particular one our friend Panda. Um he introduced me to old fashions, and I can't remember which one we had slow many on our on our honeymoon tour of uh Australia and Hong Kong. But it'll be the old fashioned from that on that trip. I can't remember what it was. Yeah. And then also I do like my rum, but I couldn't really narrow down what rum to have. So I've gone for a rum that I don't really like, but I've gone for uh some sort of navy rum in honor of my uh in honor of my pops. They used to like a navy rum. The sort of rum, you know, that's ridiculous 80%, 90% alcohol, whatever it is, and it blows your socks off, makes you make a Cornish pirate sound, you have a little sip. What do you say when you have a simple yeah that that that sort of navy rum, so yeah, so you've got some you can have some navy rum or we do old fashions um at the uh at the land flag.

Gin Deep-Dive: Labels, Bars, And Honest Takes

SPEAKER_01 19:49

I suppose this is where I have the gin, yeah. Yeah, you can college. So there's a distillery in Northern Ireland called Hinch Distillery. They do a gin, it it's the bottle it comes in is beautiful. So we we tried a lot of ginnings. My sister gym. She has she often buys us a thing called sibling gin, which is cracking it. They do a Sicilian lemons, she got us a bottle of, which is really nice. Down by us, there's a type there's a brewery called the Titanic Brewery, they do a gin, which is really nice. But I always struggle to there's a gym bar that my wife and I have tripping called Muriel's where they have knickers and bras on the ceiling, it's quite fun. And they've got all gins from around the world. There's Mahan gin, it's called Zoriga, which is in uh Spain. It's cheap, it's like 10 euros a bottle. What's it called? Zorriga X O R I G U E R. It's from Mahan. It's um it's from it's from Minorca. So the brewery there, the the gin you discipline distillery in Minorca where they make this Zoriga gin, and they do that with like pantalemon, it's just delicious. No, no, you see, there's all these different ones I've got.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

But actually, an honorable mention that almost made it to the Lama flag is had it with you and your lovely wife in um Belfast. It was the jaw box.

SPEAKER_01 21:20

Oh, drawbox of Hunicom, yes, the local delicacy.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

That's nice.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

Yeah, yeah, it is not I'm I'm not a massive fan of the jawbox gin, if I'm honest. I think it's a bit overrated. They've got they've got cracking brand. They've done well for themselves, but hinge shits all over it in my opinion. Not that I've I mean if somebody from Drawbox wants to send me some gin, convince me otherwise, then please do.

SPEAKER_02 21:41

Yeah, please, yeah, please send through to uh name's outlook.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

I think in Northern Ireland, there's Copeland as well, which is in Donegade in Northern Ireland. They do uh so you're having a hinge, so is that a hinge gin? See this this is the thing. I think I'm gonna play it straight as it is, because you know what? This is gonna say this is controversial. Well I think Bombay Sapphire is still my go-to gym out of all of them. All these panty gyms struggle to I struggle to find something that I enjoy more than a bomb based approach. Now H form's very, very well it's siblings. Any particular tonics? Just box standard tonic. I don't want value tonic. No, no, no, just sweats. Just the old school swept tonic. So fever tree, fine. It's nice, but it's overpriced. I don't really want to go for the 56 bottle P and Test 56 P bottle Tesla one. Just sweats. But you know like we got all these things like pink rose and burnt orange quantines. I'm like, no, I don't I don't know. I can take a bit of lemon and gym. I like a bitter lemon gym. I like a tonic and gym. But all the you know, these are like um what was it? Bloody elder flower tonic. Ooh, elder flower tonic. I'm like, no! Take your elder flower tonic and shove it. Just give me and tonic. Simple. Ice and splice? Yes, ice and a slice. Ice or what? Just lemon.

SPEAKER_02 23:15

Slizzle. Yeah. Lovely. What's your second drink? You got you get two drinks. You get two mixes. Two uh or two spirits. You got your uh so you've got a bombay, sapphire gin, and scraps tonic with a bit of ice and then we're gonna go for another drink on the menu.

SPEAKER_01 23:32

What we got? So I did say I like the gym bean and the maple syrup. The gym bean maple syrup flavour. Oh, I don't know, there's so many like that didn't make it to the bar in the end, did it?

SPEAKER_02 23:41

It didn't make it too.

Mini Pub Quiz: Beer, Vodka, Gin, Cider

SPEAKER_01 23:42

I don't think it does, though. So it's you're catering not just for yourself, but you're catering for the masses. Well I think I'm thinking about the wives, so she likes it. You can get like palm of violet cocktails. So again like the sweets. Like the sweets. So that it's like palm of violet flavoured syrup and you mix it like palm of violet martinis. No, I've done all the ingredients for them, so I might be stretching the the boundary of this. But I think you've gotta go for you've gotta go for some kind of a cocktail, haven't you? Or is that another thing that's coming? Cocktails. No, I don't think I've cocktails. Alright, I'm gonna add a cocktail then. Just just for the ladies.

SPEAKER_03 24:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

What sort of cocktail? I'm thinking maybe like I'm thinking something a little bit rogue. I think whenever whenever we discovered this palm of violet cocktail, it was one of those moments where it's like there's palma violets in a cocktail. Yeah, there it is. I'm gonna have one of those. So I'm gonna go with that.

SPEAKER_02 24:41

Yeah, okay. So what we also have are our pub with the Lama flag. It's a pub quiz.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

Oh yes, they're talking, ladies and gentlemen.

SPEAKER_02 24:57

So we're just gonna do a quick, quick mini quiz, three questions. Write your answers down or log it in your head. For the listeners, for the listeners at home, play along, yeah, write down, play along, and we'll give you answers. Uh question number one. Question number one. What is the leading beer brand by sales in the United Kingdom? Oh. And that's as of 22. Question number 22. 22? Sorry, two at a beer. What is the again by sales, the most loved British vodka? Okay, most loved British vodka.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

Are you is it like made in Britain or just what can we drink?

SPEAKER_02 25:42

Drink what we drink. What question number three? Again in Britain, by sales, the most popular gin brand.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Okay. So if I was to work backwards, I'd say it's bot it's gotta be one base half after the gin.

SPEAKER_02 26:00

Slack question number three, if you want to wear backwards. The most popular gin brand in Britain. Gordon's Gordon's, yeah, of course. Yes, Gordon's.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Then the Volka, does that do it? There's only really smirk around fruit.

SPEAKER_02 26:14

Totally smirk. Uh the vodka was a beer. Now this one's a tricky one. The beer. The leading beer back. This is by sales. So not necessarily most popular by taste, it's by sales.

SPEAKER_01 26:30

It's gotta be, it's gotta be, you would imagine, in Britain, Carling or Carlsburg.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

I'll give you a clue. That's not really much of a clue, but it generated approximately£246 million last year.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Yeah, okay. So Carling Carlsburg Stella. Stella. It is Stella.

SPEAKER_02 26:49

Stella R2 was the leading brand.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

Okay. See, Stella's one of those beers as well. It's got a bad reputation, but I think drinking Stella Stella is one of those beers that when I drink it, I don't get violent. There's no white beater. I just think it's a great effect, Stella. I love I love drinking Stella.

SPEAKER_02 27:06

Yeah, no, I do I like Stella. No, no. It's not as nice as normal Stella. No, but there's a little a little short uh little bonus question. No bonus question or a packet of Maltesers. Most popular cider by sales and balls. Correct. Well done. You want a packet of Maltese?

SPEAKER_01 27:32

I want a box scratch.

SPEAKER_02 27:36

So also in our pub. I was talking about I told you the long one, yeah. So in our pub, and in at your pub, Mr. Hajkiss, you have a jukebox.

SPEAKER_00 27:50

Oh yeah.

Jukebox Rules: Compilations Vs Classics

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Well it only has one album on Link. One album. What album would you have? No, I couldn't quite figure out what I wanted for uh to Dam the Flag. I went with a quick Google what was around the time, but I went for now 45 has released in the year.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

That's a very uh that's a very fence to change answer.

SPEAKER_02 28:15

A compilation album. A compilation album.

SPEAKER_01 28:19

Um in the year 2000, there would have probably possibly been some Backstreet Boys, some Britney Spears.

SPEAKER_02 28:26

Yeah, probably was. Let me have a uh Christina Guilera. So now 45. It was yeah, the one in the year 2000. So you got uh Gabrielle Rise, Melanie Scene, Never Be the Same Again, the song, Craig David filming in, Backstreet Boys show me the meaning of being lonely. There we go. And yeah, loads of other great hits. So in the year 2000.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

Yeah, I thought that was 1999.

SPEAKER_02 29:05

Well on this compilation, yeah, on this compilation album. But there you go. So uh Top Tokers Miracle.

SPEAKER_01 29:13

Oh, what a song. I think you've got that though, Williams.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

So uh but in my pub it's it's uh low level, so it's yeah, it's quiet background music, and you you hear it now and again, oh yeah, that tune. But um so what would you have that you're gonna do?

Wildcard Drinks And Microbrew Finds

SPEAKER_01 29:28

Oh, you see again. This is my pub, so I get to choose. Do you want see my people-pleasing nature is like okay, if you're gonna if you're gonna go for something that you know is for the masses, because there's no there's no point me sitting there behind the bar going, oh this is a great song, and then everyone in the pub going, what a load of crap, turning off. You've gotta think about what's popular Williams. So you've got you've gotta go for something like the masses, you want something not your naval. No, you're gonna go for something like your lab of greatest hits, your number ones by the Beatles, a bit of Elvis, you know, something classic Williams, something with the old boys in the corner can be like, oh yes, or like a bit of Neil Diamond, a bit of Lionel Richie or something. If it was up to me, just like what's my favourite album to kind of get me going, I'm probably going for Black and Black by ACDC. Oh yeah. You know, I'm I'm thinking Is that is that your pick or I think I mean there's so many good albums you could pick.

SPEAKER_02 30:31

It's a tough question, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 30:33

It is, it is.

SPEAKER_02 30:34

You know I I wear a proper chat GGP4 with the sit on the fence.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

You did. No, you gotta you gotta you gotta you gotta think that's you know, for our age group it would be something like you know, Hot Fox by the Killers. Um you know, the first Ant Monkey's album was a classic. Or a bit of Kaiser Chiefs, maybe. Oh no, not Kaiser Chiefs, they were fine, but they would they weren't like one album only kind of choice. Good pool, one-in-cood pool. You've gotta think but you're gonna think about the masses one-ins. I think if I'm gonna go for something that's still cool that everyone likes, I'm going for the for the yeah, number one by the Beatles.

SPEAKER_02 31:17

Number one by the Beatles.

SPEAKER_01 31:19

You've got you've got all the you've got the bangers in there, but then you've got the like sing along end of the night that's like, hey Jude, you got you know, can you imagine a whole pub at half past twelve at night going?

SPEAKER_02 31:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:35

Yeah, you can see that being that going down well.

SPEAKER_02 31:37

Wildcard drink. Any drink you want, they can start your bottle.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

Sambbuka. Sambuka. Just for when people get a bit silly, let's have the scope of the sambuka.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

When the when the hey judges go and we've got sambuka gang, have we?

SPEAKER_01 31:51

That's for me, yeah. But a sandbuca.

SPEAKER_02 31:54

Oh, lovely. Lovely. Uh for me, uh I couldn't quite think there was uh well recently I went to um uh pipeline brewing company. It's a it's a basic little warehouse, little microbrewery. Uh sounds nice. Down down in St. Agnes. We just do little micro batches. Um it's called Full Moon.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

Very nice.

What To Ban: Phones, Hens, And Bad Jokes

SPEAKER_02 32:17

Vanilla stout. Um it's like a vanilla vanilla type. Vanilla stout? That sounds amazing. Yeah, 9.8%. Oh, you drop it off. But uh lovely drops though, I just uh thought I'd check that in there. So the final thing, so at the at the lamb flag, we sorry, not a final thing, next you need you need to need to ban, you need to bar something from your pub.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Mobile phones.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

At the lamb flag, no mobile phones, yeah. Good choice. At the lamb flag, we uh we ban hen parties. So no willy straws, no licence plates, no inflatable men bouncing around. We're banning hen parties.

SPEAKER_01 32:57

So you're you're banning mobile phones? Well you say hen parties though, but that's you you you're banning a certain type of hen pie. You can't ban all hand parties, surely. Surely you just mean like the really tacky horrible hand parties.

SPEAKER_02 33:07

The one the ones that involve yeah, willy straws, licence plates.

SPEAKER_01 33:10

Yeah, and strippers and wheelies that make you feel like oh I'm I'm not a real man.

SPEAKER_02 33:15

Yeah. No, no helicopter willies or anything like that in the in in in the land flag.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

Um you're banning mobile phones. Mobiles? Yeah, I mean again Entirely?

SPEAKER_02 33:25

Are you having a like a strip search for the come in or they've got hand in to the bar or I j I just no, this is it's an oxygen one.

SPEAKER_01 33:33

I love I love having a phone, I love being able to ring you or FaceTime or send pictures. So I I enjoy the mobile phone, but I don't like all the shit that comes with it. The the the the lack of just sitting there and oh I'm I'm gonna sit here and someone's gone to the bar. Okay, someone's gone to the bar, and I don't need to look up my phone for the next five minutes while they're at the bar. But just sit there and people watch read the paper. I don't know, eat the box scratching, scratchy and I don't know, try and sneak things scratchy and bumble while I'm gonna be able to get the ball.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

On the pod that I listened to, I listened to I listened to episode it was Joe Marler, I don't know if you know him, he's a rug player, and at his pub, he had no mobile phones, but he had a basic an old an old phone box actually in the pub. So people could use the phone box to call the taxis or you know just call someone if they needed to. Had a list of all the taxi numbers etc in the phone box, but that was your phone device.

Designing The “Little Bit Of History” Pub

SPEAKER_01 34:36

Um it was a much it was I I hate they use the map phone out the the boredom, like when people like oh, oh hang on, I I need to think about a conversation here, it's not just really easy, and they get the phone out because like oh it's easy, just I'll just look at my phone for the next five minutes. It's rude, and I think it it breeds an atmosphere of you're in a pub, right? What's the best thing about being in the pub? You're with your mates, you're with your missus, you're with your family, you're having food, you're having banter, you're what you're watching a sporting event, so you're having a shared experience, you know. Both my phones just make people unable to just think on their feet and hold conversations, or yeah, unable to just enjoy the moment because they're like, oh, I need to take a picture of something, and like, yeah, really?

SPEAKER_02 35:23

Yeah, it's it's the concept things are like on the um on the episode I listened to, the the the the one with Joe Marlon on it, like he was saying he wanted to ban mobile phones because he enjoys the the BS of people to think rather than someone uh fact checking and checking actually on on Google, yeah. Just someone just you're listening to someone, you can't check you can't check what they're saying is true. You just have those sorts of conversations, they have a beer and just you know, just just right.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

Oh mate, mate, I'm not sure it's don't worry with uh with Liam Newstead in it. He's uh he's uh he's really hard. I was in that, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:01

Or you know, he got a fight with Stephen Segal, didn't he? Didn't he? Yeah, yeah, him and Stephen Segal were trying to work out who's the toughest guy and you know.

SPEAKER_02 36:09

Whereas these days, these days they get the phone out straight away and they're like they'll they'll check him. Yeah, whereas if you haven't that competition really with it, they it just starts with these amazing stories.

SPEAKER_01 36:18

Stephen Segal killed three men once, but he didn't get convicted because it was in self-defense and he's just so fucking hard. And he's Stephen Segal, really. I thought he was just a big panel, and I know legitimately, legitimately hard. Stephen's girl could legitimately kill you with a with a table spoon. He's done it, but he's been convicted. That's brilliant. I can't believe that. Excuse me, in fact, you'll find here that this is a misery's rumour created in uh to help promote the movie on the stage. Ah, fuck off, you've ruined the illusion.

SPEAKER_02 36:51

I lost my um chips to him once.

SPEAKER_01 36:54

Just Steven Sigar.

SPEAKER_02 36:57

No, Stephen Siegel.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

You know what else we should fan is a pod?

SPEAKER_00 37:03

Bad jokes. No bad jokes.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

You can't know.

SPEAKER_00 37:06

No bad jokes at the moment.

SPEAKER_02 37:09

Mobile phones. So Mr. Hodge Girls here comes to that point. I hope you've had a nice time at the uh the Lama flag. Lovely time. So, first of all, first of all, could you please explain what your pub looks like on the outside and inside? 100%. Also, what is the name of your pub?

SPEAKER_01 37:28

Okay, so my pub, it's it's a pub that only ever exists in sunshine. So, this this is the kind of pub that you go to in the afternoon, and it's mainly outside. Outside areas there, yeah, big outside area. It's a train station pub. So it's it's a pub in a village, and in this village you have it's it's near somewhere that interrupts here, it's much fridge north. That was that kind of um it's on the Seven Valley Railway, so every couple of hours a steam train is coming past, and you know, you know, old school hypothetics thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're talking about the flying Scotsman, the Jacobite, those kind of trains. They're coming past, and everyone's looking at the train going past. There's a marquee outside with a bar. There's um, you know, there's lots of uh it's it's white tickets fence, everybody's you know, wearing shorts, the sun is blazing, but the the beer garden is as plenty of shade. There's tables so you can sit down and order some food. The food is anything, it's all it's all it's it's a good quality pop food. We're talking we're talking cheese. No, no, no, no, no. But like there's still probably like you know, little slider burgers, yeah, chicken news, you know, boulder cheese with lovely, you know, and you can sit around and there's you know there's shade where the people need it. And there's an outdoor bar that it's not too hard to chew for a drink. But it's it's warm. We're talking like it's it's you know 22 degrees. The blokes are in, you know, kind of nice shorts, short sleeve shirts, fashion shorts, absolutely fashion shorts, no sportswear allowed. It's not a chabby pub. No chance allowed.

Sunshine Garden Vibes And Live Guitar

SPEAKER_02 39:17

But it's the kind of place where right you can't you can't find Charles as well. Charms would be there. No no phones, but Charles would be there.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

No, no, Charlie. Well, they won't want to come, they won't want to come to the pub. There's you know, it's the kind of place where you know it's it's you're out the style because you've been drinking since three o'clock in the afternoon, and then it comes to nine o'clock, and then the outdoor lights come on, the look, you know, it's all them bulbs and lovely outdoor bulbs, the barbecues going in the corner, so everyone can smell something. There's a pizza oven, everyone's getting a booze, and then there's somebody with a guitar playing the song, playing out the fight. They're playing all those kind of songs. They're playing things like Mr. Bright Side by the Killers, they're playing uh Mardi Bombs by Arctic Monkeys, they're dropping, they're dropping the odd classic, like you know, a bit of Blewood Mac or something like um I don't know. Uh that's nice because inside inside the pub is the Beatles stuck on the jukebox, whereas they can go outside and have a nice little but inside you've got people who are a little bit, you know, you've got you've got the mums, the dads, you know, the the grandparents, they were like they want to enjoy it because they're like, oh, outsource that young one. But inside they can have a inside they can get a pork pie, a cheese and pickle sandwich. That the woman who's working in the bar is 60 and she's been there forever, and everyone knows that, and she's everyone's best mate, and she'll do anything to make you feel welcome. Um, and you know, it's the same train that comes past the cleaner, it's the same cleaner, it's a clean pump, but yeah, inside there is that, you know, there's that heritage. There's that, you know, it's a train station pump. So there are pictures of there are pictures of the old trains, there are pictures of the people who build in the rails, and you know, it's the village that was built on the train station, but this village used to be important, and you know, still is to the people who live there. So what is the name? What is the name of the station? So it sounds very much better. Anyone who knows me, so I used to I come from a village called Codsall, and there was a pub there called the station. Now the station wasn't actually my favourite pub in Codsol. My favourite pub in Codsol was the wheel pub. Followed the wheel pub. That's when we first started to do our drinking of the banks. That's a post-effec one. No, no, the wheel is in the it was on the edge of the wheel estate, and it used to it was the pub where we started drinking, it was£1.27 a pint of banks', but then they closed it down, knocked it down a bit house though.

SPEAKER_02 41:35

£1.27. Yes. And again, it's ridiculous. It was ridiculous. It was it was a good one. I couldn't even say that at university on a Sunday when the pound of drinking.

Closing Thoughts And Listener Invite

SPEAKER_01 41:45

Um but then they're not that down, so we started to go to the Bentlands. So that has a place in my heart, it's probably my favourite of a pub as well. The station is the kind of pub I'm describing, but it wasn't necessarily my favourite pub. But that's because they didn't necessarily have the big outdoor area, they had a little outdoor area. I'm talking about like a proper big uh there's one, I'd tell you the one we we used to go to Weybridge on the Weybridge pub crawls by Morties. Uh you have the train station and it's there. No, not red. The the big the first one, it was the first one today.

SPEAKER_02 42:16

What about the red station? That's good.

SPEAKER_01 42:18

The red station, yeah. I'd I'd call it I don't know. I'd call mine the cob and I'd call it the a little bit of history. That's what I call it. A little bit of history. A little bit of history pop, yeah. A little bit of history pub. And you you everyone just told it as a little bit of you know a little bit? A little bit, yeah. It's it's full name is a little bit of history pub because it's then the station and the station is yeah, all these lovely steam trains getting past.

SPEAKER_02 42:46

So you can now take away your pub with a little bit, with a little bit of history pub to those that want to full full name it. And uh it can come to when in in your hour of need, misogynist. The little bit will appear for you and it will uh it will sell Winter's Lions Ale and Banks is L on tap. You can pick up a bottle of Ruby Port and order 20 bottles of blue WKD to go.

SPEAKER_01 43:13

Nine o'clock at night when the party's going, 100%.

SPEAKER_02 43:17

But there you go, if if if if the night's still going, and for the uh the the non the non-bottle drinkers or ale drinkers, you've got a nice gin and tonics, a nice blue, a nice Bombay sapphire gin and swept tonic with a bit of an icing slice, iconous lice. Or or you can have a nice little cocktail, a palm of violet. Oh, that's such a good cocktail. And also you've got the option of some sandbooker.

SPEAKER_00 43:42

Of course you have because you know.

SPEAKER_02 43:44

But if you want to sing along to Hey Jude at the end of the night, I mean your shots of Sand Booker, but they see them on the guitar.

SPEAKER_01 43:52

He drops in a few a few old school kind of like those kind of like take me to the bar for a sandbuca. I bet a DJ looking never seen. Bit of artful dodger, you know, drops a few of those in, just on a guitar.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

This is outside. This is outside. Just the outside.

SPEAKER_01 44:08

Post nine o'clock. The light bulbs have come on. It's still warm enough. There's a few heaters if people need them, but they don't need them because it's a beautiful sunny day. There's no bugs. Lovely.

SPEAKER_02 44:18

Well, I hope to uh I hope to go to the little bit uh in the future. I'm an endangering me.

SPEAKER_01 44:23

I love the idea of that bug.

SPEAKER_02 44:24

That sounds brilliant. I hope you enjoyed events of the uh the Lana Flash and take away your your little bit. But uh yeah, that was that was a first look at uh the moon underwater. Shout out to a podcast that we've just literally ripped off their format for a little bit. Would do stimulate some conversation if you were yeah, right write in, yeah, write into person at outlook.com. Let us know your uh your dream.

SPEAKER_01 44:52

The joys of a pub, it's a social place, it's that it should be a social and happy place. It is so you know, this is it's some of our best times of being in a pub, just you know, not thinking about it.

SPEAKER_02 45:09

Even can I you get your pubs, you've got your Irish pubs and things, but they're not a British pub, are they?

SPEAKER_01 45:14

They're not oh no, I don't know. They're not the same. They're not the same. You can't really explain it a bit, England to me, English village pubs are one of the one of the best things about living in a village. And it's not just the pub, it's the it's the community spirit of the pub. Stephen's girl could legitimately kill you with a with a tablespoon. Season five of First Look Norms is coming soon. Don't forget to subscribe or follow and five-start review to help grow the show.