Oil wrestling or mud wrestling? That's really all we need to figure out. I mean, there's an obvious choice, but Bronze skips over that and gets dirty.
Look, we know it can't be easy to make brass plates in pre-columbian Panama but it feels like Jacob's lack of initiative has been passed on to every one of his descendants. Nephi must have known this and wanted the sweetest gigs for his kids. Be king, young man. Younger brother, uh, how about "Prophet"?
I really want to see these plates. You know the last few pages of Nephi's "small" plates must have had tiny little characters scribbled in the margins, barely legible. I mean I get it. Enos had to choose be hunting, fishing, mud wrestling, or keeping a journal. We all know which of these hobbies had to be tossed aside. Thankfully, like a million people give it absolutely no effort in this book.
From a narrative perspective, this is genius, if a little lazy. I mean, we went from 122 pages of Nephi to less than a quarter of that for Jacob. Enos can only manage to go for a page before bidding adieu! But this ain't nothing compared to what's next. Get ready for some "I was here, now fuck off" in the book of Jarom.
Oil wrestling or mud wrestling? That's really all we need to figure out. I mean, there's an obvious choice, but Bronze skips over that and gets dirty.
Look, we know it can't be easy to make brass plates in pre-columbian Panama but it feels like Jacob's lack of initiative has been passed on to every one of his descendants. Nephi must have known this and wanted the sweetest gigs for his kids. Be king, young man. Younger brother, uh, how about "Prophet"?
I really want to see these plates. You know the last few pages of Nephi's "small" plates must have had tiny little characters scribbled in the margins, barely legible. I mean I get it. Enos had to choose be hunting, fishing, mud wrestling, or keeping a journal. We all know which of these hobbies had to be tossed aside. Thankfully, like a million people give it absolutely no effort in this book.
From a narrative perspective, this is genius, if a little lazy. I mean, we went from 122 pages of Nephi to less than a quarter of that for Jacob. Enos can only manage to go for a page before bidding adieu! But this ain't nothing compared to what's next. Get ready for some "I was here, now fuck off" in the book of Jarom.
And blessed be the name of my God for it. And I will tell you of the wrestle I had before God. This is already homoerotic Mud wrestle.
Speaker 3:So nerd just obviously code for grooming.
Speaker 2:Which ones hotter you guys? Mud wrestling or like oil wrestling.
Speaker 3:Obviously oil wrestling yeah yeah, they get shiny. Yeah, mud wrestling just looks like swamp thing or something.
Speaker 2:You're like that's in a lot of places I don't want to know about.
Speaker 5:I don't never get turned down by it. Actually, now I think about it.
Speaker 2:We'll stop trying yeah.
Speaker 5:I'll sit there and master it like try and try to master it.
Speaker 3:You're just trying and it's like pulling rope.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it's probably because you're using mud.
Speaker 5:I'm using mud because I want to pretend like that I'm in there, so I'll get like some clay.
Speaker 3:You know what could be good, though, and it has another new base to it, but don't you love the taste of dirt? Yeah?
Speaker 5:if you get a little bit in there. Just a little bit in there, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Mindy helped us finish off, or at least get started with it, ennis. And this is a weird thing, folks, because it really does paint this picture that one of two things is true Either there really aren't any more brass plates, right Like Neffy made a pile of them as kind of his thing. He had servants and all that kind of stuff, so they made a whole pile of them and then subsequently nobody else made anymore Jacob and the rest. Or and this is a possibility like Jacob is kind of a was that's well established, but then his son, ennis, is just like ugh, you know, and just kind of feels pretty blase about all this stuff and that kind of comes through and then everybody subsequently is just kind of like you know, every generation we got to do, like I was here on these brass plates. Whatever it is, it's a little bizarre and it does paint to this being still one of the best written books ever, even if it is dry as shit. Enjoy.
Speaker 2:That shit.
Speaker 5:I would never take that away from you.
Speaker 2:Did you know that Are we getting ready?
Speaker 4:Do you know that Fred Rogers weighed? 143 pounds his whole adult life. When did you guys find that out?
Speaker 3:Fred Rogers weighed 143 pounds. His whole adult life.
Speaker 1:Who's Fred Rogers? Mr Rogers, Mr Rogers oh for Mr Rogers' neighborhood.
Speaker 3:And he thought that the scale was saying I for love three, you, I love you.
Speaker 1:Well, he just liked the numbers.
Speaker 5:I mean he didn't think the scale was saying 143, then he was much shorter than I thought he was. He was a tiny man, no he wasn't Just kidding 143's got to be like five, six. Yeah, he's not big.
Speaker 2:Really he would start tall with you.
Speaker 3:Do you want me to turn this off?
Speaker 2:No, I just want to know how much trouble I'm in.
Speaker 3:Oh, boy Everything. Have you ever gotten you in trouble?
Speaker 2:Thank you. I should be in trouble all the time, but I don't want to miss the good stuff. Glenda, I hope you're listening, right now no, not for her, but also. I like the skunk idea. That's a good joke.
Speaker 1:He was six feet tall, whoa.
Speaker 3:Christ.
Speaker 2:No way.
Speaker 5:He was an.
Speaker 3:Auschwitz survivor.
Speaker 5:He was T.
Speaker 3:He was six feet tall and he weighed 143 pounds, and Tom Hanks who played him in that movie about him, is also six feet tall. That's probably the number one criteria. Tom Hanks was 143 pounds. I bet you, tom, got to end at like 160, 170. 170 or 160.
Speaker 2:Jesus 143 is like. Let's find out how much Tom Hanks weighed. What is his?
Speaker 5:heritage, I wonder. I mean Fred Rogers 143 bones Rogers I feel like is Danish. I could never wear a cardigan like that because it's supposed to be like huge.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he weighed that because you're fat, so busty. 30 years For 30 years he maintained that weight Wow.
Speaker 2:His wife wasn't a very good cook.
Speaker 3:That was like my grandma Ethel or she wasn't, but she ate it all. Maybe she was fat.
Speaker 2:She wasn't, didn't you see the biopic.
Speaker 3:No, I didn't.
Speaker 2:Get on.
Speaker 1:She was a little round Like she's, like a normal lady. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like a normal round rotund lady.
Speaker 2:Go back to what you just said before that.
Speaker 5:Oh, ethel, yeah, yeah, my grandma Ethel.
Speaker 2:She was bony as hell.
Speaker 5:Always maintained like pretty much the same weight her whole life.
Speaker 3:That was my grandmother, but she was four. How much? Grandma was five-one, I think. She weighed 98 pounds.
Speaker 2:That's so hot.
Speaker 3:For actually she had the cutest little wedding picture. She wore a little like Teal length, like yeah, a middle, oh short.
Speaker 7:Are you serious? Can you guys find?
Speaker 2:this photo for me. I'll find it.
Speaker 1:I thought it was shorter than.
Speaker 2:It wasn't a mini skirt. It was above the knee.
Speaker 1:Oh, I thought it was like a T-length, and that's why your sister liked the. T-length wedding.
Speaker 2:You're talking about a mini skirt to the top of the thigh.
Speaker 7:Your grandma did not wear that to her weddings. Her mother would have. Look, she was trying to land a lawyer.
Speaker 3:Ok, she did she had to pull out all the stops. Did she and she? Yeah, she did.
Speaker 2:Is that how you do it?
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, she was pregnant when she got married, so that was how she did it. No more of these frumpy dresses you're wearing. Jesus, you're going to land this.
Speaker 2:My grandma made this dress for me.
Speaker 3:Why is your grandma wearing frumpy dresses?
Speaker 2:She made it for me.
Speaker 3:Care wears short mini skirts. It doesn't even have a tag.
Speaker 2:Don't tell them I want them to picture me fat.
Speaker 3:Lumpy pumpkin sack dress and wearing long librarian clothes. Remember the lumpy pumpkin sack dress. Wait the lumpy pumpkin.
Speaker 4:That's a good band name. What am I wearing?
Speaker 3:It's like this lumpy pumpkin sack dress. It doesn't even have a tag. I think my mom made this.
Speaker 2:It's like a flower bag, flower sack. It's a pumpkin sack. The lunch, just spit out his wine.
Speaker 5:I just remembered that. See the movie.
Speaker 4:God she's just magnificent.
Speaker 1:She had this, melissa McCarthy.
Speaker 3:Can we have a spy watch party sometime? Yes, unlike it's the band, I don't know. Is it weed? I think a weed Weed works. A little bit of weed. Yeah, I think weed is something. Mushrooms make their face look weird. No, not mushrooms. If anything, cut it mean just so, we're just lounging about.
Speaker 2:I've never done that.
Speaker 3:Well, it's the first time for everybody to care.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, where are we? Oh my god.
Speaker 3:Anas, where are?
Speaker 5:we on the book of Anas.
Speaker 1:Anas.
Speaker 5:It rhymes with panas, it's.
Speaker 2:Sony backwards.
Speaker 3:Sony. Yeah, but I was thinking it's phone. Sony.
Speaker 2:Anas, anas, anas, of you All right.
Speaker 3:What are we going to ask, mindy?
Speaker 2:Mindy, what's your reading level? Wait, what is it, Mindy? What's your most embarrassing woman? No, we don't do that. Oh yeah, sorry.
Speaker 1:No, I wanted to tell you guys because you didn't ask me before my like experience level. Yeah, this book, oh yeah, so I just want to tell one story. So when I was 16, I went to Germany and I had to stay with a host family and my host sister did not like me very much. That makes sense, and so we went out.
Speaker 3:She's a brunette German. She's like I hate this.
Speaker 2:Nine hosts Hulse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's like you're more German than me. Right, that was probably it, but wait, what's your?
Speaker 2:maiden name.
Speaker 1:Wallen Can I say that?
Speaker 2:Oh, don't say it, don't say it Privacy. We'll beep it out. Yeah, we'll beep it out, ok, valentine Beep.
Speaker 3:Valentine, that's many. It's Swedish, right, it's Danish, oh it's.
Speaker 1:Danish Valentinzen was the. Anyway, OK. So I had the rest of the students to hang out with, but she didn't ever want to like hang out with me, so whenever I was had to be at home, there was nothing to do and I'd brought like one novel and the Book of Mormon.
Speaker 2:Oh no.
Speaker 5:It's also a great novel. Right, yeah.
Speaker 1:So that was all like Like nonfiction. What is it?
Speaker 3:It can be two things. Yeah, it can.
Speaker 2:It's fiction slash nonfiction. Yeah so.
Speaker 1:I did read the whole Book of Mormon in that month that I was in.
Speaker 2:How did you feel about it when you were?
Speaker 4:done. How did you feel about? It when you read it.
Speaker 1:I felt glad that I read it Like that was kind of it. I was just like check that box right.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Because when you're a kid and you read, it.
Speaker 2:So just think about this she more enjoyed reading the Book of Mormon than her really intense German. No, nine, yeah. So I mean I guess that's something, yeah, something.
Speaker 5:No, it's a because you want to be able to say I yeah, I read Book of Mormon, and I also read it one time younger as a younger kid, to go to an end of summer barbecue. To be able to go to a barbecue. Yeah, yeah, so I did that, that barbecue You're like.
Speaker 1:I'll never do it again.
Speaker 3:Did they like check, or is it just?
Speaker 1:It was just on her system. Okay, there was a lot of there's a lot of honor situations in my life and I never read it.
Speaker 2:I was just like oh yeah, you have no honor, sir.
Speaker 3:Not in the water, do you have?
Speaker 2:gloves I can slap him with.
Speaker 3:Please slap me.
Speaker 5:You wish you slapped me with a club, you slapped him. Okay, hey, kid Glitz Gonzo, if we finish the Book of Mormon, could we have a barbecue?
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, we can have a barbecue. I'm not coming to that. I'll make some ribs. If we read the whole Book of Mormon.
Speaker 2:I don't want to be friends with you guys anymore. What, what she's mean? Wait, how far are we? Okay, hold on, we're like a third of the way, that's it.
Speaker 3:Well, we know it was long.
Speaker 2:Well, no, we're like a quarter yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, bad quarter yeah.
Speaker 2:Jesus, we've been doing this how many months Forever?
Speaker 3:And it's just going to keep going forever.
Speaker 5:I'm savoring it. I want it to last forever. I am hoping two years to get through this Wait.
Speaker 2:do you know what I'm hoping for? Do you know what I'm praying for? Pray More inspiration so that it gets longer.
Speaker 1:They're like, just do the wait A little. Ad chapter, Just do the field part, Just do the field part.
Speaker 2:No, no that's destroyed oh that's gone, we've already gone over this. Oh, you did. It's covered, it's stuck together.
Speaker 3:They had to burn it. Yeah, it's covered.
Speaker 2:No, no, it dusted away. Remember, it was so crispy they blew it away.
Speaker 3:I know it's kind of like your graduate thesis.
Speaker 4:You Sorry, we covered all of this, did I miss this episode?
Speaker 7:No, you have it hasn't been released.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay, never released. I was talking oh, it's going to be released.
Speaker 4:No, actually that outtake is released. Okay, yeah, that's, that's public, it's public Okay.
Speaker 3:In us, and us, and us is a NOS, and us is a NOS.
Speaker 2:And us is a NOS, of course. All right, man.
Speaker 3:Take it away, chapter I.
Speaker 1:Behold, it came to pass that I Enos, knowing my father that he was a just man, for he taught me in his language.
Speaker 2:He's like I didn't teach you in Spanish I love you. That made him just.
Speaker 3:Like what's what's going on in the society? That that's the line of justice that people are like teaching their kids nonsense.
Speaker 5:I could have taught him Chinese or taught my own native language.
Speaker 1:My father is a just man, so just Okay, and also in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Oh, so it's not nature versus nurture.
Speaker 3:It's just the nurture.
Speaker 5:It's just the nurture.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and blessed be the name of my God for it. And I will tell you of the wrestle I had before God. This is already homo.
Speaker 2:Mud wrestle so.
Speaker 3:Obviously code for grooming and other.
Speaker 2:Which one's hotter, you guys mud wrestling or like oil wrestling?
Speaker 3:Obviously oil wrestling yeah.
Speaker 1:They get shiny.
Speaker 3:Mud wrestling just looks like swamp thing or something.
Speaker 2:You're like that's seen a lot of places I don't want to know about. Yeah.
Speaker 5:I don't never get turned down about it. Actually, now I think about it.
Speaker 2:I'm not trying, yeah.
Speaker 5:I also said they're a master like try and try to master.
Speaker 3:You're just trying and it's like, it's like pulling.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it's probably because you're using mud.
Speaker 5:I'm using mud because I want to pretend like that I'm in there, so I'll get like some clay.
Speaker 3:You know what could be good, though, and it has another new base. But don't you love the taste of dirt?
Speaker 5:Yeah, if you get a little bit in there Just a little bit, yeah, like a little dusty.
Speaker 3:Yeah, not like a dirt cloud but, just a little bit.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, Just like oh, like dipping your Oreo in dirt, like our daughter. Dipping your Oreo in the planter, that's cute, that's cute.
Speaker 3:I screwed off with an Oreo and dipped it in a planter and then you're all no and she's all yep. That's exactly what she did.
Speaker 2:She loves mud wrestling, by the way.
Speaker 1:Probably. Yeah, we'll invite her out here. We'll invite her out here. Zion will ask you later. Sorry, let's pray a bit. All right, wrestle.
Speaker 5:Mud wrestling In front of God.
Speaker 1:Okay, before that, I received a remission of my sins, before I went to hunt beasts in the forest, and the words which I had often heard my father speak concerning eternal life and the joy of the saints, and the words of my father sunk deep into my heart and my soul hungered and I kneeled down before my maker and I cried unto him in mighty prayer.
Speaker 3:So he's crying while hunting.
Speaker 1:Subplication yeah.
Speaker 2:I can't find any meat.
Speaker 3:Who is this person? Who is Ennis he's?
Speaker 5:very emotional he's very passionate he's very passionate. Yeah, so I'll have to think about it, yeah.
Speaker 3:We still need to cast Jacob. We're kind of behind on the casting, you're right. Okay, we're way behind.
Speaker 5:There is a great song that came from this. I heard once. It starts off like this oh, my soul hungered, my heart reached out. Please, lord, release me. You know this one. Yeah, in and from the heart, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 5:Oh, my soul hungered. I'm not saying, I'm afraid now too.
Speaker 3:I remember that part. Yeah, amen, amen, amen, amen. Anyway, my eyes hope Anyway.
Speaker 4:Anyway.
Speaker 5:Keep going.
Speaker 3:Gravel deep into my heart and my soul. I don't know about that.
Speaker 2:I sang deep into the mud.
Speaker 3:Okay, sorry, keep going, mindy.
Speaker 1:All right, where are we?
Speaker 5:Okay, soul hungered you know what it reminds me of. You know, on the mighty python, yeah, it's like father. All I want to do is sing.
Speaker 1:But I don't want him. Perfect, I want him.
Speaker 5:I think that's who it might be.
Speaker 7:Sing.
Speaker 5:No, no, stop that right now. Stop that right now.
Speaker 3:You stay here, that's who Enos is.
Speaker 2:I like that. Let's see where it is. That's perfect, yeah, but he is a hunter.
Speaker 3:That character was not a hunter. Can you imagine? I don't think he was really hunting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but remember he like yeah, he plinked out the little arrow Do you remember he thinks Enos is really hunting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't think that sounds like a euphemism for not like father I'm going hunting now, yeah.
Speaker 2:Right Like, do you?
Speaker 5:remember when the guy shot the arrow at the window.
Speaker 2:Yeah he goes he's had a little note to like save himself, like a little help me note.
Speaker 3:I do remember and it went through someone's heart. This is Enos. Enos, enos. I like this a lot now.
Speaker 2:Enos Father. Okay, where are we Maker?
Speaker 1:All day long I did cry unto him, yay. And when the night came, I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.
Speaker 5:Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:And there a voice came unto me saying Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee.
Speaker 3:I think it's saying I think it's saying the response.
Speaker 1:Oh, thy sins are forgiven, thee and thou shalt be blessed.
Speaker 5:That sounds so sweet.
Speaker 3:That's perfect.
Speaker 7:I think you nailed that, mindy.
Speaker 1:Thank you, I liked it, am I still reading?
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, okay, it's the middle of the paragraph.
Speaker 1:And I, enos, knew that God could not lie, wherefore my guilt was swept away. And I say it's Lord, how is it done? And he saith unto me because of thy faith in Christ, whom thou hast not heard nor seen, and many years pass of the way before that he shall be manifest himself in the flesh, wherefore go to it. Thy faith hath made thee whole, oh I like that.
Speaker 3:That's nice.
Speaker 5:I like that he's like. There's a couple of things, God, that he's known for right. Yeah, Twippy things under the rug Kills people gets temper, but he is no liar, he's no liar. I've never heard him tell a lie.
Speaker 2:Honest Abe is what they call him. Is that where?
Speaker 5:that comes from Is that?
Speaker 2:where that comes from.
Speaker 5:God made that up.
Speaker 2:It's like Abe and Gabe, sorry, no.
Speaker 5:Alpha oh my God, no.
Speaker 7:It came to pass that when I had heard these words, I began to feel a desire for the well-for of my brother.
Speaker 1:Child, what day is it?
Speaker 5:The Nephites.
Speaker 7:Wherefore I did pour out my whole soul unto God for them and while I was thus struggling in the spirit.
Speaker 3:Behold, oh, there's a lot of missing.
Speaker 1:Oh, my ink is bad too.
Speaker 7:The voice of Lord came under my mind again, saying I shall.
Speaker 6:I will visit thy brother and, according to thy diligence in keeping my commandments, I have given them this land, and it is a holy land, and I cursed it not save it.
Speaker 2:Be for the cause of it, and I will be ready, wherefore I will visit thy brother and according as I have, said in their transgressions will I bring down with sorrow upon the honours.
Speaker 7:And after that I and as had heard these words, my faith began to be unshaken in the Lord, and I prayed unto him with many long struggleings for my brethren, the Lamanites.
Speaker 5:How do you like your faith, by the way? Unshaken or unsteered?
Speaker 4:Unsteered.
Speaker 3:Unshaken, for sure.
Speaker 2:I don't want you to stir that shit. That's weird if you stir it up.
Speaker 5:No unsteered.
Speaker 2:Unsteered, I like it unsteered.
Speaker 3:Shit stirs have a particular Growth.
Speaker 2:Yes, you love shit getting stirred.
Speaker 3:It's stinky People who just can't help themselves. They have to be antagonists.
Speaker 2:Oh, they're called shit stirs, shit stirs, shit stirers.
Speaker 5:They're saying shit stirs.
Speaker 2:Shit stirs. Oh, that's a gang stir, that's a shy stir, shit stirer.
Speaker 5:Okay do you?
Speaker 2:need a break. Nope, keep going Okay.
Speaker 5:And and, and it came, and it came to pass. I'm gonna, you know, keep it to the theme here.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, but but your own spin on it, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5:And it came to pass that, after I had prayed and labored with all diligence, the Lord said unto me I will grant unto thee according to thy desires, because of thy faith. And now, behold, this was the desire which I desired of him.
Speaker 7:That I might sink.
Speaker 5:That, if it should be so that my people, the Nephites, should fall into transgressions and by any means be destroyed, the Lamanites, lamanite, lamanite should not be destroyed. That Lord God would preserve a record of my people, the Nephites, and if it so be, by the power of his large holy hand, arm, arm, his arm Also, his hand, very large and powerful that it might be.
Speaker 5:So he was going to take the arm, the hand and the arm, and, and, and he Together yes, and he might fist forth at some future day into the Lamanites that perhaps they might be brought unto, onto salvation, and also to what do you call that when you come Like culmination?
Speaker 3:Culmination climax.
Speaker 5:The climax. It's a shun isn't there, it's gotta be a shun Fruition.
Speaker 3:Maybe I'm-. They might come to fruition.
Speaker 5:Anyway, for the. Coleman now.
Speaker 3:Ennis just fisted the Lamanites when you come to you miss this. You miss this.
Speaker 2:Wait, I didn't miss anything. I haven't been upstairs.
Speaker 3:Kara Ennis fisted the Lamanites. No he told God too. He told God to fist the Lamanites.
Speaker 2:Did God do it?
Speaker 5:Yeah, he did. God was like whatever you desire. He said no, no, no, I'm not gonna give him just the fist, the arm too.
Speaker 2:That's so rude I swear.
Speaker 5:there's like a term for climaxing that ends in a shun, so weird.
Speaker 2:Just pause, we're gonna look this up. No, okay, no, we're not For-. We never do our work For-.
Speaker 5:For at the present, our struggles were vain in restoring them to the true faith, and they swore in their wrath that if it were possible, they would destroy our records and us, and also all of the traditions of our father.
Speaker 1:Rude, we have the.
Speaker 3:Lamanites here.
Speaker 1:We hate you and your books.
Speaker 2:And we're gonna destroy any record of you.
Speaker 3:This is weird.
Speaker 2:It's fun, yeah, great. So, with all I know is that the Lord, god, was able to preserve our records. I cried unto him continually, wee, For he had said unto me.
Speaker 4:Whatsoever thing, ye shall ask in faith, believing that ye shall receive. In the name of Christ, ye shall receive it.
Speaker 2:And I add faith, and I dig my dick out and I add faith. That was a good one.
Speaker 4:It was so good.
Speaker 5:You should be a woman in play sometime. That's a lot of work, never mind, thank you.
Speaker 3:It could be like You're distracting me. The dick monologues are so.
Speaker 2:Dude, I could.
Speaker 3:You could. You'd have the paper. I'll write it. You could bring it out. I'll have to do this performance I will. We'll project it up behind you. Yeah, with the overhead projector. Yeah, over that. Well, that's gonna be a whole castin' crew Like with behind her.
Speaker 5:Yeah, puppetry there's gotta be puppetry Like humans, litter, just dicks Walk around.
Speaker 3:That's right, yeah, but they're each one, they're opposite against each other.
Speaker 5:They're different shapes and sizes. It's made out of that.
Speaker 4:I have veto power on all of this I think I'm on board.
Speaker 1:Amazing, this is the best idea. I'm on board the dick monologues.
Speaker 5:The dick monologues. Has that not been done? It's not been done.
Speaker 2:Hold on, hey Siri, remind me tomorrow to look up the dick monologues. Okay, okay, I got it.
Speaker 5:If it hasn't we should, sarah. This is Kara.
Speaker 2:It says the dick, the dick Into the younger. I'll figure it out.
Speaker 5:Kara, this is the third time you've asked me to remind you of this.
Speaker 2:Kara, you are a dick, Aw. And I had faith and I did cry onto God that he would preserve the records and he covenant had with me that he would bring them forth unto the Lamanites in his own due time. And I, and this knew it would be calling to the covenant which he had made for my soul did waste. I don't know where that I was like that was it.
Speaker 3:This is what art came from, but I like the color.
Speaker 5:This is one of your best. This is.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's not, Keep going. No no, no. Lean in, lean in.
Speaker 2:And the Lord sat onto me.
Speaker 5:My fathers have also required me do you know my inspiration from this? Oh my God, it's like this sleepy it's like doping the surface.
Speaker 3:Sorry, have you guys ever?
Speaker 2:been to Temple Square. This is how God speaks.
Speaker 4:I didn't know, and I did say unto them oh my God, it's uncanny Shut up, shut up.
Speaker 2:I'm like remembering some of my answered prayers.
Speaker 5:Behold, that's exactly it. No, when you stand in front of the Christus and then they push a little button on the wall.
Speaker 2:he goes, behold the Lord, and the Lord goes behold the hands, of my hands, covered in holes.
Speaker 5:Yeah, that's where the button is. That's where the button is.
Speaker 3:I forgot that line. The hands, of my hands, covered in holes. What?
Speaker 2:if you did. They're like press here for more information.
Speaker 3:And you press his little palms. Yeah, you press the little palms the holes.
Speaker 5:And that's where they.
Speaker 2:And a little electrical signal is sent.
Speaker 5:It's this whole interactive Right, and then every 100 times Press twice, Every 100 times he goes ouch and everyone goes hi.
Speaker 2:Yeah, zinger, he died for you.
Speaker 4:That's what it's like.
Speaker 2:OK, sorry, let me do this, hold on.
Speaker 4:My fathers have.
Speaker 2:Actually, I'm actually pulling this from the burning bush, from when I watched the Ten Commandments recently.
Speaker 5:Whatever this accent you're doing reminds me of this, like if there is this rough woman, it's just cockney yeah, but it's like in a fantasy movie it is.
Speaker 3:It's like in a fantasy. She's pushing a cart, she's pushing a cart yeah go any further.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, but I was channeling a man.
Speaker 2:Do I sound like a woman?
Speaker 3:You are channeling a man, but it's tennis, but you are a woman Old woman, man, I'm 37.
Speaker 2:I set you up, I delivered, I came to fruition.
Speaker 3:You came finally. Ok, the release.
Speaker 4:I know. Ok, thy fathers have also required of me this thing, and it shall be done unto them according to their faith Do you guys hear that?
Speaker 5:Yes, I do. It's my favorite god voice I've ever heard.
Speaker 4:For their faith Was like unto thine.
Speaker 1:I think they need to keep a list. What did you ask God for? Because, I'm not going to ask God for the same thing. Yeah, because then it's like a waste of a god wish.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it is a waste of a.
Speaker 1:God wish. Yeah, can you be described? If you just found out that your fathers and you asked for the same thing. God's like what do you desire? And you're like I desire that these records will last forever. And he's like ha ha, I already have it. I took your father. I'm a sucker.
Speaker 5:You wasted your wish? Yeah, no, you get 45.
Speaker 1:We get 45? I don't know, god's generous Shit, yeah, don't push.
Speaker 3:I'm at 42.
Speaker 5:And I'm getting older. I only have three left.
Speaker 1:Well, how many of those are original?
Speaker 5:though I hope they're all old, like how many of those were, as God like, yeah, your dad already wished for that, so yeah.
Speaker 2:I wish for a world peace. Ha ha, it's already going to happen in 12 years. Ha ha, shit, I'd be like dammit.
Speaker 1:I would have just wished for more cash. This is a good point.
Speaker 2:I like it. Well, I just want to read one more time in this stupid accent Cache is king.
Speaker 3:All right, yeah, all right, mindy.
Speaker 1:Oh wait, Kara wanted to read some more.
Speaker 3:Oh, she wanted to read more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just like one more, yeah, no, no, go, go, do it.
Speaker 2:And now it kind of passed. Oh, it is Wait, this is about another typo. Oh, look, a boot, a boot A boat, A boat About the pipe of a prophet sign of thanks to come and wait. I'm supposed to be reading in the little pansy voice, though.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, you're good, oh good, OK, but that's who?
Speaker 2:we're casting right, Even though we're not sure, but you've got a good we're trying a lot of things out. Yeah, I work at workshop. Testing point of the things which I had heard and seen In a baby record.
Speaker 7:Rє, record, what Rè rè, rè, rè, rè, rè, rè, rè, rè, rè rè right scratch there, and I, baby rè rè rè.
Speaker 2:Well, Beasty was the people of nothing did seek diligent. This isn't working anymore. I just sound like Forrest Gump you did too, you just barely sw listing. I know, Mindy you go.
Speaker 3:And I taught Jenny how to dangle and she taught me how to rain. Oh my.
Speaker 1:God If he did sing diligently to restore the Lamanites into the true faith in God. But our labours were vain. The hatred was fixed and they were led by their evil nature that they became wild and ferocious and a bloodthirsty people full of idolatry and filthiness, feasting upon feasting upon beasts of prey, I think it's a New Zealand translation. Yeah that makes sense. Beasts of prey dwelling in tents?
Speaker 2:What the fuck's happening Wait what, like a puma, is in a tent? Beasts of prey that dwelt in tents.
Speaker 1:It's pretty dark but it turns out that.
Speaker 3:Lahee was actually into bestiality.
Speaker 2:We already knew this.
Speaker 3:No, we didn't. This is new. Why do?
Speaker 2:you think he was always in his tent. He had little rabbits in there.
Speaker 1:Well, we knew he was always in a tent, but this is the first time we find out that he's got beasts in there, you're right. And wondering about in the wilderness with a short skin, good at about the loins and their heads and their heads and their skull skill. The skull skill was in the bow and the scimitar and the axe and many of them did eat nothing save it was meat, and they were continually seeking to destroy.
Speaker 2:I don't remember when the nursing women were eating raw meat.
Speaker 3:This is a weird call out. So Ennis is here. Now is this the Nephites that are doing this too.
Speaker 1:No, it's just the Lamanites. He's saying how bad the Lamanites are, but he was really praying for them.
Speaker 3:So so the Lamanites are over, like, the Lamanites have these beautiful restaurants and they're having like they're having steak tartare and they're getting shit for it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that sounds delicious, I think.
Speaker 7:Flux of herds you can have a flock or you can have a herd.
Speaker 3:You could also have flocks of all manner of cattle.
Speaker 2:What about a fuck? Maybe it meant a fuck ton of herds, yeah a flock of cattle Maybe they had flying, you weren't here for this, but they had flying cattle.
Speaker 3:They did. But also he was raised by a man who told this elaborate story about of all of vineyard.
Speaker 1:Oh. But he did teach him in his language. Thankfully, because otherwise this would be a real shit show.
Speaker 3:That's right.
Speaker 7:Yeah, yeah, fortunately, whoo, every time Gates oh.
Speaker 3:Goats and wild.
Speaker 7:And also my choices, and they were exceeding many profits among us.
Speaker 3:So there's, lots of okay, like so many profits like a lot of profits, flocks of a profit in a horse.
Speaker 1:I think there was a flock and a herd of profits and a flock of cattle.
Speaker 7:And the people were stiff and naked to people hard to understand. Yeah, they were and there was nothing save it was exceeding harshness, preaching Conventions and distraught.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, that they have way too many profits.
Speaker 7:So many profits it's innocent and innocent and this really wants to see, and all these things did, stare at them up continually, to keep them in the Fear. The Lord, I say, there was nothing short of these things, and exceeding great blindness of speech Would keep them from going down on each other. Wait, no destruction and after this man and do I write concerning them? And I saw wars between the nephins In the course of my days.
Speaker 1:Oh, Wow, it's great. So flocks and herds and cows wait was it flocks and herds or flocks? But flocks of herds.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, but this is my favorite, this is, and flocks of all manner of cattle.
Speaker 2:What yeah?
Speaker 3:I missed that. That's a that's a real thing.
Speaker 2:I've I've heard of these flocks of all manner of cattle. I gotta write, I gotta take a screenshot. Hold on that's I.
Speaker 3:I think we, I think we've identified what we need AI to help us in fact, now I want to go to a cattle flock of cattle.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hashtag, ai hashtag flock of cattle and Goats walk of wild
Speaker 3:goats and also much horses much horses, how many?
Speaker 1:that's a thing. That's a thing that you would say much horses, yeah, yeah you would just tell somebody right, I have much horses.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've goats and flocks of herds.
Speaker 1:So, bronze, they're talking about the things they raise to, and you don't raise wild. Have you ever raise them?
Speaker 2:They're not wild anymore of cattle. You've seen a flock of herds.
Speaker 3:And flocks of herds.
Speaker 2:This is this is seriously one of the most like.
Speaker 3:I feel like NS is maybe. And herds of flocks might actually be dumb. That's why he's like yeah taught me in his language. I mean, I think we should probably should have been reading this in forest I'm like where's the whole? Time. Where is it?
Speaker 5:Where's the flocks of herds?
Speaker 3:Okay, so page 145?.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and flocks of all man, I mean you guys. They only let and it's right one Because one chapter flocks of herds cuz he liked to run. Mostly run, run and sing, run and sing cattle, all right.
Speaker 5:By the way, when I was down in. I've already told this story.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you tell it again, I'm gonna get so bad.
Speaker 5:I was down in Costa Rica with Several people don't lie.
Speaker 2:You don't have friends, even if I am. Even if I am, it's good story.
Speaker 5:And we your friends amongst, like they're say, there's like a dozen people, and amongst them Several several return missionaries. Okay, yeah. Yeah, and so I'm just thinking. You know this, people are versed in Dr and look, mormon, such we. We passed by this pasture, we're driving by this little van, okay and. They're there in the sunset light. Behind them is a flock of two or three horses.
Speaker 7:And so I.
Speaker 5:Turned to as a herd of a flock, of a herd of two much horses of much horses, many or much horses, yeah, and so I also. Much horses, no, maybe too much, maybe too much. And so I turned around I said, ah, the Book of Mormon is true, because there were horses in Central America, you know, and they were yes. And then silence, like not one person got the joke. I Think they had pearls before I think why.
Speaker 3:Swine. All right, brian spring, is some last paragraph a flock of swine.
Speaker 5:The came to pass one yeah.
Speaker 2:This is my favorite part. Now read it, like this dipshit would read it.
Speaker 3:All right, I think we've decided it's for us come.
Speaker 5:Okay, okay, okay, came to pass that. I began to be old and 100, and Jesus. Christ.
Speaker 2:Listen, yeah, wait.
Speaker 5:Oh, oh, I thought.
Speaker 2:When you start to freak out, quickly read ahead and then calm 179 wait? Seriously, I don't know is. Is ennis, 179 years old, shaking it again?
Speaker 5:Like what happened to time.
Speaker 2:What do you think?
Speaker 5:179. I feel like we there was Jacob for a few years and now we're wait, how okay.
Speaker 2:Nephi's the son of Lehi. Yes and so is Jacob and his enus, their son.
Speaker 3:So Nephi and their collective son. Yeah and. Ennis is the son of Jacob great, so he's.
Speaker 1:Why wouldn't he get to take over, like what happened to Nephi's son? What if Nephi what?
Speaker 2:is weird, was they don't take over?
Speaker 3:I think that Nephi had all daughters.
Speaker 2:What if Jacob?
Speaker 5:When he was.
Speaker 1:Was wearing this he was always writing with the plates on his lap.
Speaker 2:Yeah, baby, baby, and he's 90 when he's reporting. He says he's getting old.
Speaker 5:Jacob had. Baby at 80 when he was before.
Speaker 2:He was 20 before no, because it's 179 years.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but typically okay, so say he had Matt okay, so in this is we have great grandson right very old dad, very old like super old.
Speaker 5:What does that do, anything? So we have a lot of time maybe now Jacob's like. I can't have a kid till.
Speaker 2:I'm 80.
Speaker 5:We don't know that he was old.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they had already had like the four boys and however many girls that are mentioned 40. I mean, but I think he was old.
Speaker 3:I think he was old oh.
Speaker 2:I don't have any evidence.
Speaker 3:I mean he looked old in the pictures, the photographs those photographs I saw.
Speaker 2:Look, doctor now. Now we're way off time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a long, 179 years.
Speaker 2:It's a long time right, it's not like Lee had left Jerusalem when he was like well, that's me, okay, so my dad?
Speaker 4:Yeah, my no, my dad brother.
Speaker 5:This is my dad's brother died a hundred and seventy nine years ago. Okay, so let's say let my grandpa I.
Speaker 3:Want to postulate that let he had Jacob in his 60s or 70s great, it still wouldn't work.
Speaker 2:It still wouldn't work.
Speaker 3:Hold on, let's listen to your mouth. So that's 70.
Speaker 2:Okay so Jacob was alive so then Jacob. Jacob's Nephi's brother.
Speaker 3:Jacob was fairly perplexed by human reality Sam the youngest or Jacob. Remember, jacob spent a lot of time as a homeless, naked person.
Speaker 7:Jacob and.
Speaker 1:Joseph brothers?
Speaker 3:When do we get mentioned in them?
Speaker 1:They're born in the wilderness. No, no, he's not a few years apart.
Speaker 3:Like he's like 16 plus years apart.
Speaker 2:He'd have to be in the wilderness for 40 years before he had a kid to make this even work at all.
Speaker 3:No, no, he was born in the wilderness.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Jacob and Joseph were born in the wilderness.
Speaker 3:His son, Jacob is Lehi's son.
Speaker 1:Yeah, nephi's, little brother.
Speaker 3:But born in the wilderness when Nephi's grown.
Speaker 2:But Nephi left Jerusalem with his dad right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like 16.
Speaker 1:So I think, Jacob was born when.
Speaker 3:Nephi's like 20 plus.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Okay, let's give him that, that's fine.
Speaker 2:So 20 years since he left the place.
Speaker 5:So then, nephi dies.
Speaker 3:Nephi dies, jacob, hold on. Jacob's not a king, he's just a a naked street preacher.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I think Jacob took a long time he had to meet Sharem. He had that whole tryst with Sharem.
Speaker 1:Okay, and so Nephi's kid, his whole gay phase, are the kings Right. They're in charge.
Speaker 3:Finally has a son. I think Jacob didn't have Ennis until he's very old.
Speaker 2:He'd have to be like 90.
Speaker 3:No, no, because we go yeah it doesn't work.
Speaker 1:No, because Ennis is old.
Speaker 2:Plus you know what? It makes perfect sense. Keep going 90.
Speaker 3:And then Ennis has.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3:And then Ennis only has to live like 75 years.
Speaker 1:He's born in the wilderness.
Speaker 3:That puts him right there at like 179 years.
Speaker 2:Well, if he lived in, if he left, and then 20 years later Jacob is born that's only now Jacob could have been 80. That's 100. So okay if he's 80 years old that's right, there you go.
Speaker 3:He's on his set. Okay, it's reasonable. Isn't it weird that we don't hear anymore about Nephi's kids, though.
Speaker 5:Like we don't know Like they're always be kind of shits Like I mean, but aren't they probably like the king?
Speaker 3:His daughters all went back to the lemonites. Yeah, I think it's obvious that they're like our cousins are fucking hot.
Speaker 5:You know how bishops are all in bread losers so you know, like bishops, kids and they're like oh yeah. Yeah, and then they yeah yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay, got it Totally squared that.
Speaker 5:Man, that was, that was that was a lot of clarity. That was a close call there. I saw, and as I, and I saw that I must go down.
Speaker 1:Can you be a faster idiot?
Speaker 5:Okay, go down to my grave. Having there been brought upon power of God, I must preach the prophecy, the people to declare the word according to the truth which is in Christ, and I have declared it in all my days and I have rejoiced in it above that of the world, what, what. And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my redeemer, for I know that in him I shall rest on a beautiful golden pillow and he will lay next to me and I'll have a puppy and we will snuggle and I rejoice the day, my moral and popsicles all the time I shall put on, I shall put on immortality, and I shall stand before him and shall see his face with pleasure.
Speaker 3:That's an O face, by the way.
Speaker 5:Oh, when you see God's hand, just like, oh, wow, God's like. And do you know that God is? You don't have an everyone's naked. Yeah, but God's like they don't need clothes up there, like what would be the point.
Speaker 2:They wear silver and gold.
Speaker 5:lamei ropes Did you not go to the temple Gold lamei rooms? I think of what's the point in clothing yourself in heaven.
Speaker 2:So nobody's horny with boners Like where do?
Speaker 5:you buy the clothes.
Speaker 2:They're made from angels. Are you serious?
Speaker 5:You start to go to an angel store and then to get fit, get fitted.
Speaker 2:It's God goes all right so yeah, okay. I disagree. Do you imagine?
Speaker 3:God's O face. Is his like eyes rolled in his head, or is he like looking, staring into your soul?
Speaker 5:I don't know. God's O face, god's O face. Oh, he's looking right, he's like staring you down, yeah, and I just go like like think of the hottest, hottest dude, just like looking into your soul, idris Elba, staring me down, idris Elba.
Speaker 1:What is he in? I saw a picture of him recently. He doesn't always do that.
Speaker 4:And it was just like he's always, Idris.
Speaker 3:Elba and Brad Pitt have a beautiful baby.
Speaker 5:Oh, okay, pleasure. He'll say come on, come on me, you blessed, there's a place prepared for you in my mansions of my daddy, amen, amen.
Speaker 3:Perfect. God has a weird chapter. Wait, we have a new chapter, new book.
Speaker 1:New book.
Speaker 2:I am about this shit. Jerome. Oh, my God.
Speaker 3:Jerome sounds like it does. I like these short ones. They make me feel a little.
Speaker 2:Can we cast Jerome as Idris Elba, no matter what? Yes, yes.
Speaker 3:But I think we've decided that.
Speaker 5:So Ennis is like, but the guy was like the guy in this is so short so short the progress money Python.
Speaker 3:He's the money, but he was really.
Speaker 7:It worked Perfect, so the question is who is Jacob?
Speaker 3:Who do we cast as Jacob? Jacob, you can do Tom Hanks for fun.
Speaker 5:But I want Tom Hanks Only because he's been asking, no because of From Topic.
Speaker 3:Thunder when he's got like the.
Speaker 5:Who's?
Speaker 3:the guy.
Speaker 1:He was a Topic Thunder he was, wasn't he? Yeah, he's the Tom Hanks, no that's Ben Steller.
Speaker 2:No, no, tom.
Speaker 3:Hanks is in Topic Thunder and he's the guy oh not only character.
Speaker 2:He's Tom Hanks.
Speaker 3:And he has like he has a comb over. I cannot think of. And he's wearing the blue shirt and he's sweaty and muscly.
Speaker 2:Hold on, he's not muscly. Come on Tom Hanks Tom.
Speaker 3:Hanks in Topic Thunder. Yeah, it's like a cameo.
Speaker 5:I don't remember it.
Speaker 3:He was amazing at that.
Speaker 2:actually, I think that might have been Okay, it's possible, hold on.
Speaker 3:See, tom, that's actually my favorite role that Tom Hanks has done.
Speaker 2:That's not true. Oh, it is.
Speaker 3:It is Because I don't. I don't love Tom Hanks.
Speaker 5:I don't.
Speaker 2:What I'm trying Cast her. You don't, I'm trying her.
Speaker 1:How do you not love Tom Hanks? He's a national treasure.
Speaker 2:You have to go to his IMDb Hold on, no just do images. Oh, I couldn't find it.
Speaker 3:No, not Tom Hanks, I'm thinking.
Speaker 1:Tom. Cruise Nobody likes Tom Cruise.
Speaker 3:So you don't want.
Speaker 1:Tom Cruise in this Tom Cruise is speaking of Tom Cruise.
Speaker 3:Speaking of Tom Cruise, you're thinking of a different movie no no look.
Speaker 2:Do you guys remember earlier when you were talking about porn? What do you? I just read something that said Tom Cruise didn't know there was internet porn until the other day Seth Rogen told him. That's not true, who? Who said that? Tom Hanks. They said Tom Cruise didn't know what internet porn was. He's like you can watch adult films online. He goes what?
Speaker 3:Why does your phone not do what it's supposed to? There we go.
Speaker 2:It was an interview with Seth Rogen.
Speaker 3:This is Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder.
Speaker 2:Oh God, no, I don't want to look at that. That's very different than.
Speaker 3:Tom Hanks. It's amazing.
Speaker 2:It's not the same person. Oh, he's so good.
Speaker 1:You've seen him right, oh, yeah you remember that, David Zeich, if you've seen one Tom, you've seen them all.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, we're going to have a mic month and a Tom.
Speaker 3:That's his best performance. That's his best performance Wow Something.
Speaker 2:It's amazing, it does look amazing.
Speaker 1:No, because I wanted to look like this all the time because he's the worst and I can't stand him.
Speaker 3:That's an amazing role he does.